POEM RATE THREAD

[Anonymous No.12229620]

rate a poem, then post a poem.
I'll start:

ol janky J was a psycopath with
an ego problem.
J was a cunt
part chemical, part physique
he would get confused, and, fuck my
ass and kiss my face.
he told me to quit, so that's what I did.

[Anonymous No.12229632]

>>12229620
5/10

[Anonymous No.12230051]

>>12229620
is this a joke?

[Anonymous No.12230525]

Very good anon keep up the good work

[Anonymous No.12230533]

The world is not so changed
From what it was in Ages gone
True, each one's nicely named,
With traits and even paragon

And each a lovely chapter claims
In histories so long
Record the rise and fall it made
With dates to go along

But here's an odd predicament:
For all supposed differences
All told their whole disjointedness
Consists in marks on pages drawn

In fact it is the same old stuff
A little rearranged
The cloud, the drop, or icey bluff
Are all by water named

Just ask our clever physicists
For Matter is Conserved
So I suppose our businesses
Lose every dime they earn
And every treated sickness is
Checked by death uncured
A universe as big as this
All aspirations blur
All progress has its weaknesses
In decadence deferred
The endless stars aren't witnesses
To human life on earth
For all our gaudy progresses
We've nothing more of worth

Still this truth I dont entrust
The present world to gain
For this one's rather curious
Different is its same

Not the first world to have erred
(Many had it mostly wrong)
First although to have declared
It was different all along

[Anonymous No.12230977]

Time looms large but far away
From where I present find myself
And therefore I resolve to stay
Asleep in bed the whole damn day
A voice presumes to be my health
And harshly shouts to me
"Get up, you sloth, or lose the day
Precious life is lost on thee!"
But quickly I replied to he
"Its foolish what you say-
For if my health you truly be
Then you must know I'll lay,
Indeed for an eternity."
With that, he left me to my peace
And I returned to sleep
True, here and there will wake again
But those shall too be brief
And any time my health returns
I tease him ruthlessly
For all of his advice enslaves
And bores me endlessly
Still some room for him I'll save
When we both go to our grave

[Anonymous No.12231198]

There's people that love me and people that hate me
But it's the evil that made me this backstabbin', deceitful and shady
I want the money, the women, the fortune and fame
If it means I end up burnin' in hell, scorchin' in flames
If it means I'm stealin' your checkbook and forgin' your name
This lifetime bliss for eternal torture and pain
'Cause right now, I feel like just hit the rock bottom
I've got problems, now everybody on my block's got em

[Anonymous No.12231209]

I am sweepy
feel like pee pee
feel like poopie
i call "mommy, mommy"
mommy fucky daddy
i cry
"fuck jannie"

[Anonymous No.12231232]

All will come before this sea
And most will stay a while
So galaxies bloom in the thoughts
she births- Whole worlds too versatile
For tallies, hues or opposites
Nay, greater than words can be
A few nonetheless can remark of it
Show essence in nature's decree

Of great excesses, floods and storms
Scoops, and buckets may be
A handful achieved, some knowledge received
Make finite things of an infinity:

What single stars say, in the voids where they shine
Upon her shimmering shores
In shaking light, in the cold-winded night
In stirrings that effortless show
The causes of sight, the source of all
No wisdom, no ages shall know
Eternity notwithstanding, a few I can recall:

Some saw the ice, within her flesh
Blue, unfathomed, imposed
Still others the vapors exhaled
impressed- of flowers in all colors grown
Some heard, afar, the lover's cry
As she boomed and broke in the storm
Still others, the babe's gentle sigh
at her breast- coaxed and lightly unrolled
A few, astonished, shipwrecked and forgot
Lamented her and were distraught
And the last of these the most dreadful
Foreshadow what shall be unwrought

The sea, she is ancient, primordial, old
Her calmness but covers her wrath
In light hearted laughter of lapping foretold
She drowns her babes in deep baths

Vessels in water are wrapped
The day shall come when the day is no more
Darkness from north and to south
The sun will be swallowed into her wide mouth,
This sinking of shimmering gold
The last man alone, his mind shall behold
The last thought, extinguished, untold.

The lights of the city are washed away
The houses sink in the deep
The love and the anguish of all of mankind
Are secrets eternal she keeps

Silent, windless, nocturnal sea
Still her waters be
But still her waters shimmer where
The lights of the heavens still reach

[Anonymous No.12231260]

Please respond

[Anonymous No.12231524]

>>12231260
"Please clap"
I give your poem 1/10, they're shit, try harder next time (never).

[Anonymous No.12232574]

nice job following directions, everyone

[Anonymous No.12232581]

>>12229620
Cartoonthemesong/10

[Anonymous No.12232696]

They call me a slut
Got shit in my butt
Poo poo
Pee pee
Now mommy has
To change me
Your words are like pain
Like tears in the rain
But it don't bring me down
It don't leave poo-stains

[Anonymous No.12233894]

I guess they never miss, huh?
You got a boyfriend, I bet he doesn't kiss ya
He gon' find another girl and he won't miss ya
He gon' skrrt and hit the dab like Wiz Khalifa

[Anonymous No.12234176]

>>12231232
I like the language, but drawing a coherent thread between the items in the poem and their complimenting color-words is a bit difficult. It is like the two (the point and the elaboration on the point) have become separated.

>>12230977
I relate to this, which is why I like this poem. Quality use of rhyme and rhythm, and so here is my syllogism - between your poem and mine eyes, I see a reason to keep keys type'd. Post more!

>>12230533
What a great rhyme between entrust and curious! I think I'd like to hear some more, if there's more to hear for us!

There was once a google doc, called Behemoth, and it was supposed to be a publication for /lit/. I think it quite legit, to do the project with our shit. I mean - we might as well, and time will tell, what really is achieved. If poetry from anonymous is only shooting breeze, or if it is magnificent - a triumph oe'r identity. Could we? I will post some shit later-ly

[Anonymous No.12234236]

>>12230533
7/10.

>>12229632
8/10. Should be published, not posted on 4chan

I don't know if anyone is familiar with Bouguereau's painting 'Our Lady of Sorrows', but pic related was written with that in mind.
Also, here's a neat little reading of some musings by William Carlos Williams that I found and figured I'd share here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dKLvVUa7z7s

[Anonymous No.12234296]

>>12234236
This is good. I think the idea of poem-izing a painting is great; I've been trying to do that with Winslow Homer's "Fog Warning" for the longest time. The only beef I have is with the line:
> "pale as apples flesh"
only because it goes against immediate associations with the skin of apples (being typically red or green).

[Anonymous No.12234502]

Listen,
Poetry was never “great”
Its been the same thing
Since Goethe to Bukowski -
Write what you wish,
Short, in-style-with
The times,
Rhyme or no rhyme,
All on your (very few) dimes.
Going into an art
That is really a dare -
Dare you be?
As thin as the air?

Poetry is suffering
Knowing all the buffering
That comes with life's led
Towards later days;
Its like an un-sight-ly-parade
Charades of meaning
ALL FLATLY
To say theres nothing
worth saying aptly

Understanding is enemy
Be unconscious,
Dare be free
Subconscious issues of mattering
NO MORE! Its only
Spattering of words and symbols
And words and more
And words and thimbles of
Specks and of pores that
Descend to the depths
in the tiniest of holes
to be, at least, a depth that is known

That is what poetry is:
Impressions, significant, in
Insignificant biz -
What wiz casts the spell of
Harmonious diz
“This IS, this IS”

[Anonymous No.12234721]

Honestly, poetry is nothing nowadays unless you've gone through a graduate program and gotten your shit published in a journal of some kind. It is an art of coattails and networking, and that is the simple truth of it. People who don't do this top out at message boards and self-publishing that both go barely anywhere.

[Anonymous No.12234971]

>>12234502
I'm not a huge fan of poems about poetry, but you have some nice lines. That being said, some of the rhyming is kinda cringey.
>poetry is suffering/knowing all the buffering
I thought this was a pretty bad couplet. Lines like "dare to be free" are pretty trite to me. Not awful though, 5/10

[Anonymous No.12234975]

The First Day

Profundity didn’t approach me.
Aphorisms walked away from me.
Elliot Smith still sounds the same,
with my head beneath my blankets.

The dread deep inside of me still
was no more French, contra-Bastille.
My worries still seemed inane
to the worldly cogs, which still turned.

It only made me worry
and the lethargy last longer
and the drinking medicinal
and the memories paralyzing.

Of course, today the sky is grey,
it presses itself on my mental.
Hydraulic presses distort and disfigure
before they crush completely.

The first day after a death
is always the same, they say.
This is true; loss isn’t profound.
It’s a car, on E, sputtering.