ITT: Post the worst prose you've ever read

[Anonymous No.12189660]

I'll start.

[Anonymous No.12189668]

>>12189660
Jesus, what the fuck is that from?

[Anonymous No.12189671]

You are like an infant child.

[Anonymous No.12189674]

>>12189668
Ready Player One

[Anonymous No.12189676]

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears.

[Anonymous No.12189701]

>>12189660
Never has pop culture felt so banal to me.

[Anonymous No.12189713]

‘That oak-tree, it was somewhere here in the forest. There was such an affinity between us,’ he thought. ‘But where was it?’ As he wondered, he glanced across left and, unconsciously, without recognising it, began to admire the very tree he was looking for. The old oak was completely transformed, now spreading out a canopy of lush dark foliage and stirring gently as it wallowed in the evening sunshine. No trace now of the gnarled fingers, the scars, the old sadness and misgivings. Succulent young leaves with no twigs had burst straight through the hard bark of a hundred years; it was almost impossible that this old fellow should have grown them.’

...

‘Oh yes, that’s the one,’ thought the prince, spontaneously overwhelmed by one of those surges of delight and renewal that belong to springtime. All the best times in his life came together sharply in his memory. The lofty sky at Austerlitz, the look of reproach on his dead wife’s face, Pierre on the ferry and that young girl who had been so enthralled by the night’s beauty, the night itself and the moon… suddenly he remembered it all. ‘No, life isn’t over at thirty-one,’ was his instant, final and irrevocable conclusion.'

[Anonymous No.12189762]

>>12189660
Legolas was riding along the woods and one day he found a baby whaped in colth so he got off his horse and went to the baby and then Legolas said"who left you here little one"and then the baby just cryed and then Legolas pick her up and hold her and then the baby stoped crying and then Legolas said"your name is going be Laura"and then Legolas and the baby went onto the horse and went back to the castle where he said"father mother I found this little baby in the woods and then Legolas mother got up and walked down and said"how can people put baby in the woodsand to die".Then Legolas father said"we are going to keep her"and then Legolas was happy for someriseing.

10 Years Later

Legolas got up and went into Laura's room and said"good moring"and then Laura said "good moring too".Then Legolas said"whats a matter"and then Laura said"Legolas I want to know how to ride a horse".Then Legolas said"Ok"and then Legolas said"first you get dresses and have something to eat and then we will go for a horse ride lesson".Mean while Strider and Gandalf was rideing towards where Legolas lived and then Strider said"Gandalf I did not know Legolas had a sister"and then Gandalf said"I did not know aswell".Mean While at Mondor the dark lord was planing to kidnap the princess but not the boss of the Orcs came and said"I'll get her for you sir"and then the Dark lord said"yes you can".

[Anonymous No.12189763]

my diary desu

[Anonymous No.12189765]

>>12189762
Mean while Legolas and Laura was horseriding and then Laura said"Legolas whos that"and then Legolas looked and it was Gandalf and said"that is Gandalf and Strdier"and then Strider said"Legolas"and then Legolas said"Strider long time seen" and then Strider said"hows you"and then Legolas said"I am fine"and then Gandalf said"whos this then"and then Legolas said"meet Laura I found her in the woods when she was just a baby".Laura was shy at first and then Legolas said"Laura come and meet Strider and Gandalf"and then Laura said"hello I am Laura".Legolas said"she is the princess"and then Strider said"she is so cute"and then Legolas said"that will be my falut"and then Gandalf said"why"and then Laura said"he protects me thats why"and then Legolas looked up and said"I think we should go back to the castle"and then Laura said"I can feel it too".

Legolas said"do you want to stay for a night"and then Gandalf and Strider said"yes please"and then they had tea and went to the night Legolas ask the gards to keep an eye on Laura's while the Orcs climed up the window and grabed Laura and then Laura woke up and screamed and then the gard went into her room and saw lots of Orcs and then Legolas ran down the Legolas said"where is Laura"and then the gards said"the Orcs took her".

[Anonymous No.12189770]

>>12189765
Mean while the Orcs was back at Mondor and then Laura said"put me down"and then the Orcs did and then the Dark lord came out of the fire and said"welcome Laura"and then Laura looked at him and said"no it can't be"and then she tryed to run away but the Orcs got the Dark lord said"put her into the cell and bet her and also do what ever you want with her but do not kill her".Then the Orcs took her to the cell and trow her into the cell and then they shut the go up and went to the window and looked out and she was wishing that Legolas or someone will save while back at the castle of Milkwood Legolas was getting the army ready to go and save while Laura was sitting on the floor and then the door opened and it was some Orcs and the Orcs tied Laura with some chains and then one of the Orcs striped her and then he raped her and then Laura said"go away you bastard".Then another Orc came with a whip and whiped her hard and then the Orcs all togeter bet her almost to death and then the Dark Lord came in with a tube of Posion and then he injeted into Laura.

Few hours later

Legolas and the others was on the way to Mondor to save princess while in the cell where Laura was been kept Laura woke up and she looked on her body there was blood and scars she only could move her right arm but not her Laura said"I feel so cold"and then she can't see very the frount gates of Mondor was Legolas and the others and then they said"let Laura go"and then the Dark lord said"no"and then Legolas said"right lisson I'll will clim up to the cell and get Laura and you and the others will find another way Strider said"alright" and then Legolas started to clim while Strider and the others ran into Mondor and went into the said"I'll will go and kill the Dark lord and you and the others go and help Legolas".Strdier said"becareful"and then Gandalf said"I will don't you worry about me".

Mean while Legolas got to the cell where Laura said"Laura are you in there"and then Laura said"Oh Legolas you finally came"and then Legolas said"are you alright"and then Laura said"no I am not alright"and then Legolas said"they bet you up and raped you also the Dark lord gave you the posion"and then Laura said"how did you know that".Then Legolas said"when I was your age they did the samething to me".Then Laura said"can you get me out of here"and then Legolas said"ok stand back"and then he ran back and ran towards the door and knock it down.

Laura said"wow"and then Legolas looked and saw she was coved in Blood and scars also she was naked"and then Legolas said"why they did it to you not me"and then the Orcs came and said"because she got a power and she can distoy us all the bad guys".

[Anonymous No.12189775]

>>12189770
Then the fright began

Legolas got out his bow and arrows andstarted fireing at Legolas saw some swords and said"Strider is that you"and then Strider said"yes it is"and then Legolas and the others started to kill the while Gandalf is have a fun time trying to distory the Dark said"I wish Frodo and Merry and Pippen and Sam was here"and then a sword came out of nowhere and said"some wished us here"and then Gandalf turned and said"Frodo baggins why you doing here".Then Frodo said"we came to help you and also we got rid of the ring"and then the Dark Lord said"oh no"and then the magical powers from Gandalf distoryed the Dark lord.

Mean while Legolas and Strider and the others was helping Laura down and Strider took off his cape and put it around Laura.

FEW HOURS LATER

Legolas and the others are on the way back to the said"we must go to Rivendell to get Laura better".Then Gandalf said"I think you are right"and then they turned around and went to looked down on Laura and put his hand onto Laura's head and she was bruning went aside of Legolas horse and looked and said"she is getting wose"and then Legolas said"I know".

FEW HOURS LATER

They were at Rivendell and Legolas stayed at Laura's side everyday intill she wakes up and then Legolas kissed Laura on her lips and then she moved her arms around Legolas and then Legolas said"all you alright"and then Laura said"yes I am".Legolas said"I am soo happy"and then Laura said"Do you want to be my boyfriend"and then Legolas said"yes I will be your boyfriend"and then Laura and Legolas kissed said"what happened to me Legolas"and then Legolas said"you got kidnaped by the Orcs and they raped you and also bet you almost to death and then the Dark lord gave you some posion"and then Laura said"why I can only move on arm"and then Legolas said"your left arm is broken".Then the door opened and it was Strider and then Laura said"Hello Strider"and then Strider said"I see you are awake"and then Laura

[Anonymous No.12189781]

>>12189660
Imagine a world where having some knowledge about crappy 80's tv shows make you someone respectable

[Anonymous No.12189981]

>>12189671

[Anonymous No.12190042]

I think >>12189671 is as terrible as it gets but >>12189660 is genuinely worse because of the intentions behind it

[Anonymous No.12190088]

>>12189660
I can't put my finger on exactly what it is that makes this so terrible. Maybe it's the listing, like how people rattle off their interests; but instead of being artists or actual literature, it's just a bunch of crap. It feels cluelessly deluded in the most pathetic way possible.

[Anonymous No.12190127]

>>12190088

For me it's knowing a lot of this stuff is widely accepted as "geek culture" and knowing this is an extreme version of something real.

You know people are like this -we all do- who weren't obsessive enough to put the work in and actually know the material properly. It's that guy who won't stop making Simpsons references even he doesn't remember from watching the show. It's the guy that always references "it's merely a flesh wound!" and nothing else from Python. It's the guy that spends six months telling you how great the new Star Wars will be and then forgets about it in a week once it's out.

The worst part of reading this is it reminds you that somewhere, somehow, you will have to politely chuckle and fake smile at "how about a nice game of chess" at least a hundred more times in your life.

[Anonymous No.12190165]

. . . One autumn night, five years before, they had been walking down the street when the leaves were falling, and they came to a place where there were no trees and the sidewalk was white with moonlight. They stopped here and turned toward each other. Now it was a cool night with that mysterious excitement in it which comes at the two changes of the year. The quiet lights in the houses were humming out into the darkness and there was a stir and bustle among the stars. Out of the corner of his eye Gatsby saw that the blocks of the sidewalks really formed a ladder and mounted to a secret place above the trees — he could climb to it, if he climbed alone, and once there he could suck on the pap of life, gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder.
His heart beat faster and faster as Daisy’s white face came up to his own. He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning-fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her. At his lips’ touch she blossomed for him like a flower and the incarnation was complete.
Through all he said, even through his appalling sentimentality, I was reminded of something — an elusive rhythm, a fragment of lost words, that I had heard somewhere a long time ago. For a moment a phrase tried to take shape in my mouth and my lips parted like a dumb man’s, as though there was more struggling upon them than a wisp of startled air. But they made no sound, and what I had almost remembered was uncommunicable forever.

[Anonymous No.12190177]

Now here's some shit
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6611927/1/Garfield-First-Blood-Part-II-Forever-Fist

[Anonymous No.12190184]

>>12190177
(2/2)

[Anonymous No.12190204]

>>12190177
>"INDIGNITIES." Roared Garfield
>>12190184
>I am real man hard like steel
>Always hungry for lasagna meal
Lol'd. This one is great.

[Anonymous No.12190236]

>>12189660
The banality of modern culture, the triumph of the spectacle over reality, and the infantilization of the American male. Disgusting. And beyond all that, the tone is so fucking smug and condescending. The writer has ingested nothing but shit for years, and he's somehow PROUD of that fact. Ready Player One is the earnest and unironic embracing of everything that is wrong with our modern society.

[Anonymous No.12190247]

>>12190177
>>12190184
This is a work of art

[Anonymous No.12190290]

>And, of course, Kevin Smith.

Everytime

[Anonymous No.12190297]

>>12190177
this is outsider art, there's something to be appreciated here

[Anonymous No.12190346]

>>12189671
>>12189660

[Anonymous No.12190366]

>>12190177
>Said the news man with reporting.
>"INDIGNITIES." Roared Garfield
>"The only thing being stopped is your life! Eat fist!"

[Anonymous No.12190437]

>>12189671
>I said, ‘I like food.’

[Anonymous No.12190462]

>>12189671
This is genuinely hilarious.

[Anonymous No.12190483]

>>12189671
This is obviously meant to be funny, though. OP's was written in complete seriousness

[Anonymous No.12190502]

>and, of course, Kevin Smith
Every time

[Anonymous No.12190510]

>>12189660
I wonder if this level of garbage consumption was possible in any other era of human history

[Anonymous No.12190519]

>>12189671
This is pretty good comedy.

[Anonymous No.12190530]

>>12190177
I'm a lover and fighter maaan.
Not a loser and cryer maan

[Anonymous No.12190590]

>>12189660
I've seen this extract before and I've always wondered what the context is for this bit. What has happened that makes it make sense to just list movies and press Enter every other sentence?

[Anonymous No.12190622]

>>12190590
From memory, the whole """""book""""" is about a treasure hunt in virtual reality based on who can remember a millionaire's """""geeky""""" interests the best.
>But remember boys and girls, capitalism is good, and definitely isn't rotting your culture like a sepsis wound!

[Anonymous No.12190809]

>>12189660

[Anonymous No.12191810]

>>12190809
What is this poison you bring before us? Tell me this is not an excerpt from a published book before I hurt myself and others.

[Anonymous No.12191834]

125 MILLION COPIES

[Anonymous No.12191848]

>>12190809
>"I didn't faint, I had a flashback!"
This can't be real

[Anonymous No.12191935]

>>12190127
>The worst part of reading this is it reminds you that somewhere, somehow, you will have to politely chuckle and fake smile at "how about a nice game of chess" at least a hundred more times in your life.
This right here. To expand on it, you can't even call out that person's earnest interest in something so vacuous as pop culture. Lest, you exile yourself from him. This wouldn't be a problem, but the thing is, everyone unconsciously participates in it.

[Anonymous No.12191943]

>>12191834
NOO
AND MY PARENTS READ THIS FUCK FUCK FUCK

[Anonymous No.12191989]

>>12191943
I was proud of my mother the day she told me she couldn't finish Fifty Shades because it was shit. And this from a woman whose book consumption consists almost entirely of cookie cutter detective mysteries.

[Anonymous No.12192538]

>Knuckles resembles a human, but with differences. Knuckles is neither male nor female, though referred to as a "he." Three-quarter-inch-thick dark-violet-colored (FFA000E0) fur covers his entire body. He is only 25 1/3 inches tall, 4 inches wide, and 2.5 inches deep. Knuckles gets his name from his large hands, 40% bigger than a human his size would have. A reflective, glittery, greenish (FFA0FF00) haze a half millimeter across borders his pupil. Knuckles has no nose and a mouth 2/3 as big. Every other aspect of his is that of what a human would have for his size. For details on the numerical colors (in parenthesis), see Appendix 5.

[Anonymous No.12192596]

Hmm. Quite intriguing a question, shan’t I say it is exciting? Depression is a discomfort to those who think it so. Despondency, forlorn. These are all words that cannot depict what depression feels like. Hasteth time passes, it is something that I feel in bones and can only be experienced in those bones.

Depression is enthralling, thrilling and pleasurable. There is no such other word that may express the smart of my brooding. The fancy of that elusive, insidious, shifty, soul-shattering charm of my rumination. I quite like this feeling, it is ineffable to those who do not quite understand it. There is not the need to abideth societal norms. Why not we emancipate from customary ideas and moral scruples? Let death be a beautiful art incomprehensible by the likes of the masses, it is alluring, it is lively, it is the joy to my sorrow.

Nothing is therefore as handsome as dejection, it is the clouds to my tempest, the light of my life. It is the burning scepter of my passion, it is the fickle nature of my fantasy. Feel that fire aglow about your flesh, it is the deepest of ones’ fervid ardour.

[Anonymous No.12192658]

>>12189660
From Sean Penn's horrible book:
>Whenever he felt these collisions of incubus and succubus, he punched his way out of the proletariat with the purposeful inputting of covert codes, thereby drawing distraction through Scottsdale deployments, dodging the ambush of innocents astray, evading the viscount vogue of Viagratic assault on virtual vaginas, or worse, falling passively into prosaic pastimes.

[Anonymous No.12192880]

>>12192658
wat

[Anonymous No.12193296]

Bump

[Anonymous No.12193412]

>shit in this thread got published
>I can't get published

[Anonymous No.12193582]

>>12192658
wow he is really such a fucking smug faggot jesus christ someone kill this guy

[Anonymous No.12193986]

>>12189671
This thread is for the worst prose ever, not the best.

[Anonymous No.12194199]

>>12192538
I'm gonna need sauce on that one skipper

[Anonymous No.12194215]

This is supposed to be a "parody" and it's awful. Awful awful. And unlike some bad Sonic fanfiction, this got published and sold in airport newsstands.

[Anonymous No.12194264]

>>12190177
Is this Cubist?

[Anonymous No.12194277]

>>12192538
>references the color hex code inside the text
Is this what real autism is like?

[Anonymous No.12194279]

>>12192538
>>12194199
ulillillia maybe? It fits the obsessive attention to meaningless details

[Anonymous No.12194283]

>>12189671
>1 note

[Anonymous No.12194287]

Shutters quake in the night about the old house near the railroad. From the grain fields, no longer gold from the long days but empty where the frost now lays, the black booming rolls slowly towards the only road of this town. It does not stop at the station where no living man or woman remebers boarding, where no child become old considers the cleanness of its new stone unencumbered by tall weeds and Japanese vines. Many decades have gone since the woods began their slow reclaim of a lot born of gang labor appended to the ambitions of failed men.

There has been talk among conductors who drive these parts, some who blow their whistles here and some who do not, for even the cautious can scarcely dare dream of what forsaken lives might reside in its ruinous buildings, why any further accident of life should cause them to make the crossing of those tracks in the dry cold of November, in the fully swallowed earth of night.

Silence, sovereign, declared again by the noises of men.

The shutters cease their shaking, the bulging sides of the two story house long to fall but hold again, and the awful life of its standing carries on, carries on in spite of the terrible things it has held and still holds.

A single yellow light shines forth from an upstairs corner. There is no one standing in the yard it overlooks, no passerby to wonder of its purpose at this godless hour, to hear the muffled scream that tries to bellow through its melting glass.

"Bite" says the child's mother, and she does, upon a stained rag that smells of mildew. "Bite and breathe deeply through your nose." She does, in undone sobs, the hiccuped inhales that the body forces upon those consumed by hysterical fear.

"Stop it. Stop shaking. You must not do that Alice, Stop!"

"Alice please, for the love of God's angels you must not do that!"

The mother holds her mouth with one hand but it is of no avail. The throes of the child have shaken her belly free from her arms.

A palsied motion. Panic. Fear like the blackness of the night outside. The child is freed from her hysterics by a loss of consciousness. Her entire world and her vision and even her soul become dark, become dark for they cannot withstand the awful thing her eyes have seen.

Blood spills from the childs navel.

Mother's hand becomes slick with it, begins to shake in a fear all its own, unlike the childs but in the bleakness of its gravity.

The needle has slipped, has moved too much in the child's panic, has gained within its flesh a hole far greater than its design intended.

She tries to stop the bleeding with her sleeves, with a towel fetched in witless haste from the bathroom cupboard. The careful line has been severed, it is too late. It has begun. And it cannot be made to stop by any force of man or medicine, but must become as all things shall be. A blackness pursuant to the whirling of stars, a decadent falling from consciousness into the uneasy, the vomiting, the wobbly-kneed and the afraid.

[Anonymous No.12194328]

>>12189660
thought some anon wrote this at first

[Anonymous No.12194358]

>>12192658
alliteration is a sin

[Anonymous No.12194362]

>>12194358
It woulda beena betta post if youlda made a bitta alil alliteration a lighted with alil irony are ya hearing me here me meme hurler, ya lil lactic suckling litter leader sucka?

[Anonymous No.12194467]

The weather beaten trail wound ahead into the dust racked climes of the baren land which dominates large portions of the Norgolian empire. Age worn hoof prints smothered by the sifting sands of time shone dully against the dust splattered crust of earth. The tireless sun cast its parching rays of incandescense from overhead, half way through its daily revolution. Small rodents scampered about, occupying themselves in the daily accomplishments of their dismal lives. Dust sprayed over three heaving mounts in blinding clouds, while they bore the burdonsome cargoes of their struggling overseers.

"Prepare to embrace your creators in the stygian haunts of hell, barbarian", gasped the first soldier.

"Only after you have kissed the fleeting stead of death, wretch!" returned Grignr.

A sweeping blade of flashing steel riveted from the massive barbarians hide enameled shield as his rippling right arm thrust forth, sending a steel shod blade to the hilt into the soldiers vital organs. The disemboweled mercenary crumpled from his saddle and sank to the clouded sward, sprinkling the parched dust with crimson droplets of escaping life fluid.

The enthused barbarian swilveled about, his shock of fiery red hair tossing robustly in the humid air currents as he faced the attack of the defeated soldier's fellow in arms.

"Damn you, barbarian" Shrieked the soldier as he observed his comrade in death.

[Anonymous No.12194515]

>>12190809
>I'll kill you....r girlfriend!

[Anonymous No.12194518]

>>12194467
>norgolian empire
>while they bore the burdensome cargo of their struggling overseers
>[everything after the above line]

Bored_sarcastic_frog.jpeg

[Anonymous No.12194544]

>>12189660
look up "easypeasy hackbook" and flip to literally any page

what an arrogant prick

[Anonymous No.12194573]

>>12189660
>>12190088
>>12190127
So isn't what makes this cringe the subject matter and lack of self awareness rather than the prose itself?

[Anonymous No.12194579]

>>12194573
Yes, but don't expect that the board filled with larping amateurs would know the difference

[Anonymous No.12194601]

>>12194573
Yes, the content is awful. Lists of pop culture that is 90% garbage, the pursuit and consumption of endless garbage fetishised, list of reference point after reference point. It contains all of this.
But there is something else awful about it.
The sentences chopped up into clauses.
Each fragment on a different line.
To make it seem dramatic.
And incredible smug.

[Anonymous No.12194603]

>>12194601
>incredible smug
fuck

[Anonymous No.12194619]

>>12189671
Not the prose that's terrible.

[Anonymous No.12194622]

>>12189660
This thread is full of silly traditionalists.......
There is neither good or bad prose: everything is art and all experiments are just as valid, just that sometimes art has the ability to change us if we understand it, if the author has a new of seeing the world and we make our best through the challenge the author presents: dissecting the subtext, understanding its themes, working the intentions of the characters, and so on; and so forth.

[Anonymous No.12194624]

>>12194622
new way*

[Anonymous No.12194921]

>>12194573

It's the fetishised consumption of rubbish culture and the reminder that this happens on a small scale every day in middle class settings.

If someone makes a reference to steamed hams and localised aurora borealis twenty years later, and importantly not after seeing the episode and finding it hilarious, it does not refer to the Simpsons any more. It refers to a kind of undifferentiated mass of people any one of whom could have made the reference and from whom it would be equally unfunny.

You don't learn anything about someone when they make a reference to this stuff. You don't learn anything full stop, it is not witty, it does not add to the conversation, it just fills time and often derails things.

Note that early Simpsons was funny and the writers were often witty. Pratchett was doing amusing things to Howard and Vance. The Star Trek series broke several important taboos on TV and broke lots of milestones.

But out of context, reheated and regurgitated, these comments don't refer to anything and they don't refer to erudition or imagination or creativity. At least the guy in Ready Player One studied something, but the people repeating this trash in real life haven't. The implicit fantasy is they have immersed themselves in a canon, a meaningful one at that, whereas they repeat memes ad infinitum.

As soon as someone in conversation notices a trio of things sound rhythmically similar to "beats, bears, Battlestar Galactica" the conversation is dead. If someone came up with that in their actual workplace to mock an actual person like Dwight, once, it might be moderately funny. Seeing it on reddit time and again and hearing it at crap parties is a painful reminder we're all in a secret clubhouse of everyone now.

[Anonymous No.12195060]

>>12194215
>commutes back and forth using a zipline
picked the fuck up, this is /ourboy/.

[Anonymous No.12195087]

There are 2 parts in Ready Player One where to complete a task and survive the protagonist must quote an entire movie from beginning to end, Wargames and Monty Python and the holy grail

[Anonymous No.12195090]

>>12194215
Wow thats fucking hilarious, and this is merely off of what I know about 50 shades rather than actually having read it

Seems like a pretty high IQ parody that completely flew over your muh bidoo games and gene wolfe cheeto dust poser level perception

[Anonymous No.12195300]

>The three men were erect. The sight of their arousal was arousing, though Daenerys Targaryen found it comical as well.

&

>Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to the stream to suck up more water.

[Anonymous No.12195335]

>>12194921
I don't know how to feel about this but I'm completely alien to this shit. I only know memes but I don't use the ones I don't understand or that reference a show I haven't seen

[Anonymous No.12195379]

>>12194215
this is amazing

[Anonymous No.12195399]

It was very late and everyone had left the café except an old man who sat in the shadow the leaves of the tree made against the electric light. In the day time the street was dusty, but at night the dew settled the dust and the old man liked to sit late because he was deaf and now at night it was quiet and he felt the difference. The two waiters inside the café knew that the old man was a little drunk, and while he was a good client they knew that if he became too drunk he would leave without paying, so they kept watch on him.

[Anonymous No.12195409]

>>12195300
THE MORE YOU EAT, THE MORE YOU TOOT.
THE MORE YOU TOOT THE BETTER YOU FEEL.
SO EAT YOUR BEANS WOTH EVERY MEAL

[Anonymous No.12195420]

>>12195399
is this Hemingway?

[Anonymous No.12195426]

>>12195420
ssh

[Anonymous No.12195453]

What is "Ready Player One", is that a book?
A lot of posters here started mentioning it recently.

[Anonymous No.12195694]

>>12195335
i wish i lived in your world

>>12194921
good post, there is a sickness to meta-culture that is difficult to describe

a similar phenomenon is when people start regurgitating a specific recent askreddit/hackernews/whatever thread with points, jokes and counterpoints but where no one admits the obvious source of their material
> nikola tesla facts
> luxottica
> banana crisis
> bee crisis

At school there is a really specific mathoverflow post i see "brought up" by pompous & eager-to-impress early grad students (not referenced directly, but they were obviously informed about the topic exclusively by reading that page alone). it's a question about the "state of research in the field of information geometry"

its hellish and dystopic when you catch on

[Anonymous No.12195874]

>>12194518
Well, follow tradition and see how long you can get through it without laughing:
https://ansible.uk/misc/eyeargon.html

[Anonymous No.12195895]

>>12189660
Mad Max had a three?

Anyway, what a tragic waste of time.

[Anonymous No.12195928]

>>12195895
Fury Road, and the whole premise of Ready Player One is that people study this stuff in order to have a chance to win $500 billion.

[Anonymous No.12196052]

>>12189762
I remember this episode of The F Plus.

[Anonymous No.12196068]

Sonic High School is the best and the worst.

[Anonymous No.12196069]

>>12190809
>But not before I kill you... r girlfriend!
lost it

[Anonymous No.12196163]

>>12190809
is this the kind of "humor" like coldsteel the edgehog that the 9gaggers and redditors chortle at because they cant differentiate parody from the real deal?

[Anonymous No.12196560]

>>12194287
this isn't bad though?

[Anonymous No.12196606]

>>12194467
fellow 372 pages listener?

[Anonymous No.12196927]

>>12196068
brilliant desu

[Anonymous No.12196950]

Any of you have that one book review thats mocking the whole "grizzled fantasy veterans" tropes and ends with "I hate genre fiction"?

[Anonymous No.12196967]

>>12189660
The subject is cringe, but it's not bad prose itself
>>12192658
This shit is so fucking hilarious

[Anonymous No.12197005]

>>12189671
>It was totally awesome. And just a bit indecent.
My sides

[Anonymous No.12197040]

>>12190809
FLASHBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRD

[Anonymous No.12197146]

>>12197040
SNAAAAAKE