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[Anonymous No.12147412]

“Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up, she was shitting brown water. The more she drank the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew.”

[Anonymous No.12147416]

>>12147412
You need to wait it out another one of the Greeks and Romans to be able to take it so far as to shoot them in the middle of nowhere where law school psychiatrists have no idea.

[Anonymous No.12147429]

>>12147416
This was all auto suggestions. This result is superior to any prose to the prose of humans.

[Anonymous No.12147438]

I want to be a major piece of the end of the end of the end of the end of the life of me and I'm still waiting for the end of the end of the end of the end of the day. The life you want; it is inert

[Anonymous No.12147445]

>>12147438
Nice
Autosuggestion post.

[Anonymous No.12147456]

>>12147412
> The more she drank the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew
a conundrum

[Anonymous No.12147586]

>>12147412
Our hero, Sunset the Mighty, found his quarry in a puddle of her own filth. drinking thirstily and simultaneously brapping filth around her. the more of that toxic stew she drank, the more intense the brapping - until it was too much for sunset to bear *NOT SUITABLE FOR A FAMILY IMAGEBOARD*

[Anonymous No.12147587]

>>12147412
riverrun,

[Anonymous No.12147609]

>Sunset found her squatting in the grass, shitting shit out of her asshole. Every shit was shittier than the one before, and smelled like shit. By the time the moon came up, she was shitting liquid shit from her shitty ass. The more she drank the more she shat shit, but the more she shat shit, the thirstier she grew, fucking shit.

[Anonymous No.12147610]

At day, her own body upon her. Something of her mind she reckoned hoped for music, or love, or the undone distance of her adult days. Her organs groaned beneath the weightlesness of her spirit.

All humiliations of the flesh as these she sought to render nothing, all vanished in the oblivion of drink.

An exhausted nap, a day lost forever but to memory unwished. She awoke in moonlight, and thought she beheld wine. Yet some earthly force yanked her hands to anguish, and the wine held her instead.

As if in laws all things becoming, irreconcilable to the wishes of convicts, she was in proprtion to angelic anguish, consumed by bodily bliss. So too in body's misery, was punished by her wish.

[Anonymous No.12147680]

>be me
>squatting in grass, shitting my soul out
>stay squatting there the whole day
>poop only gets worse
>nothing ever smelled this bad
>try drinking water
>it only made the shitting worse
>now more thirsty
>fuckmylife.exe

[Anonymous No.12147701]

>>12147680
Patrician shit

[Anonymous No.12147781]

The wonderful sunset which just rolled off the hills became overshadowed by a woman in the bushes nearby. I thought nothing of it at first. I was too distracted by the memories of Sally Tavish, who had given me a hand-made wicker basket filled with Milky Way bars. Chocolate-malt nougat with caramel, covered in a milk chocolate shell. I smile. The girl knows me too well.

'UUUUUUGGGGH! AAAUGGGGGGH!'

Sounds of flatulence and groaning interrupt my decadent daydream. I prop myself on the warm bladed grass and turn back to where to woman was bent over. She had to be in her forties, at least. What could have been a beautiful visage was stolen by age and the moment, tears rolling down her sagging cheeks and makeup-ridden complexion.

Against my better judgment I spoke up.

'Ma'am, are you alright? Do... do you need assistance?'

She sneered at me, in the same kind of threatening way an animal does when it's backed into a corner by a larger predator. Though I felt more like the prey in this exact moment. Just barely able to ungrit her teeth in-between bouts of her bowels fouling the scenery, she groaned and lashed out.

'I'm fine... just... FINE! I... I...'

'Ma'am?'

'I'm just busy... posting on... /lit/!'

As if a bolt of lightning had struck her, she began to twitch violently, her legs eventually giving up as her flopping picked up speed. The bowel movements didn't waver either. With each prolapsing crack of the wind, fecal matter poured out more and more at an alarming rate. At first the chunks were solid and malleable, but as seconds turned into minutes it became a steady stream of pure liquid. First brown, and now a stained red.

'RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!'

I looked down at the grass and saw that the blood was spreading -- and fast. Getting up and running was easy enough, but outrunning what became a torrent of shit and blood was the challenge, using any means I could to escape as I hurried through the park.

I pushed a small child over to slow the stream down. The screams. Oh Lord, the screams. He couldn't have been older than seven.

As it was closing in, I noticed award-winning fantasy novelist and writer Harlan Ellison kicking sand in Anne Rice's face. There was no sand at the park, it looked like he had brought it from home. I also threw them to the tidal wave of death. Faintly, I could here Harlan's last words as he was engulfed:

'Tell that snooty Hollywood hack James Cameron that I just wanted to be loooooooooved!'

Note even twenty paces from his resting place was when it had caught up to me. First everything was red. Now everything is pitch-black. I thought back to what the woman had said.

'-posting on... /lit/!'

I smiled one last time as everything faded.

It WAS pretty /lit/.

[Anonymous No.12147825]

>>12147412

As time went on her shits only grew in strength. In scope. In size. Soon she was shitting out more than entire villages of people, with a thirst to match. The cycle would only grow as it continued.

Time went on and eventually only oceans could satisfy her thirst and subsequent ass-gravy ejections. The world was thrown into disarray as water became scarcer and scarcer, and only the ever-growing mounds of dooky-butter could be found amongst the wasterland.

In time, Earth had become exhausted of all resources. But it was not to cease to mad shitter. She became spaceborn, travelling through the cosmos searching for water to sustain the eternal shittery she had become embroiled in. Countless planets fell to her thirst as a trail of turd-juice was left in her wake.

And so she was became shit, dumper of worlds.

[Anonymous No.12147885]

>>12147412

[Anonymous No.12147906]

>>12147412
The thing Dany did next scared and shocked and surprised me in a way nothing had ever ever scared or shocked or surprised me until that moment, a moment which lasted no longer than one sharp intake of foul smell but one I have no doubt will last my entire life. She said 'BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP'. Not 'I need to use the bathroom' or 'Can you help me?' or 'I'm sorry about this'. I exhaled. Dany did too and for the first time I realized she was as scared as I was of admitting the way she felt. I stepped forward and held her hips. 'Do you want me to go buy toilet paper?' I asked. 'I think so!' she replied, groaning.

[Anonymous No.12147963]

At sunset she was squatting in the grass, groaning. Each stool was looser than the last, smelling even fouler. She was literally shitting brown water when the moon came up and the more she drank, the more she shat, and each time she shat, her thirst did intensify.

[Anonymous No.12148166]

>>12147412
Her dysentery grew worse by the day. She was stuck in a seemingly endless cycle of being parched to death and tolerating the pain of infinite excretions. Her throat ached as soon as it was quenched. Her anal cavity was rent asunder by mountains of filth that came pouring out. A pitiful, disgusting sight indeed.

[Anonymous No.12148175]

>>12147412
Ah I see, this is what they mean when they describe a piece of writing as "Pynchonean"

[Anonymous No.12148210]

>>12147412
Well now here we have Dany, and what's she doing? Ah look at this, she's ... christ, well, I don't really know how to say this, but she's .... squatting, but not like at the gym. Oh no, now, as we come to sunset, she's squatting on the grass and groaning, asshole gaping. And her stools, their looser with each one, and the smell, hoo boy, you don't even want to know about the smell. By the time the moon came up, there was nought but brown water spurting from her ... well, you know. Jesus fuck, why am I even describing this? Oh boy. Anyway, the more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she became. Nice, huh?

[Anonymous No.12148481]

>>12147438
I'm surprised how well this worked out.

[Anonymous No.12148531]

By day’s end, she was found crouched in the meadow o’er yonder, grunting, relieving her bowels, painting the green grass a sickly brown. Deep abdominal pain accompanied each evacuation, the waste of which increasingly thinned by the poison she drank, the stench more vile than the most rotted of corpses. By moon’s light it was impossible to distinguish waste from water. Dehydrated and desperate, with each drink she prolonged her anguish.

:^)

[Anonymous No.12148534]

>>12147456
kek

[Anonymous No.12148543]

By the time the moon came up, she was shitting brown water. The more she drank the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew. Red faced and in pain, she shat until she finally, mercifully shat her last. All that shitting, like all the dying and death of this cruel world. Her business lay about the bushes like a corpse . A shame, a punishable crime, the thought to be forgotten and discarded just as the act itself and its corrupted offal.

[Anonymous No.12148548]

>She stopped by the river, and replenished herself from her dysentery.

[Anonymous No.12148728]

>>12147781
Kino

[Anonymous No.12148788]

A lot of things that I am not double minded are you doing anything this is the best way to get a job done with you and I don't have to go to the area code and I don't know what I am doing it with you and I don't know what to do with it as well as I was in the community is nearly as good as a whole bunch of pseudo people who don't kiss their homies goodnight r o n g h t I c the best of the Rings series of the year and the best way to get a new family is to do it in a few weeks ago and I don't know what to do with it and I don't know what I was doing it was the same thing to me to do with it and I don't know what to do with it and I don't know what to do with it and I don't know what to do with it and I don't know what to do with it anymore because I was a joke in the first place.

[Anonymous No.12148865]

Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. CELLS
Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. CELLS
By the time the moon came up, she was shitting brown water. INTERLINKED
The more she drank the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew. WITHIN CELLS INTERLINKED

[Anonymous No.12149175]

SUN set found her squatting
the grass stained from her ass
Groaning as the fluid was passed
She was smelling pretty foul
as she lay upon the ground
crawling her way to the water...

Well, she just kept shitting, she couldn't stop shitting
She drank more water but it just passed through her...

[Anonymous No.12149521]

>>12147412
She shat foul, brown water. The moon went mad watching her shat - smelling her, seeing her, perched akimbo over the grass, groaning, conjuring the familiar stank of ordure cast loose from the aperture of her bowels. She drank to shit; she shat to drink. Every stool looser than its ancestor, yet ever-thirstier she grew...

[Anonymous No.12149540]

>>12149175
got me

[Anonymous No.12149739]

>>12147412
Her moans bled into the tallgrass as the night sky made it's descent over her hunched body. The shits intensified with a burning violence, each hellfire spurt exiting free'r than the last. While the shits lost substance, they gained in a wretched foulness that stained the dense summersnight air. Each shit upped the pain, and took more water from her. Exorcisms come at a great cost, the expulsion of this shit-demon was draining the life from her. The pain was the least of her worries, but the only thing she could think about. It's hydrate or diedrate, they say, and her supply dwindled as she shat into the night. Come moon-thirty she was spraying a brownish water to a crowd of eager carrion insects in the splash-zone. Insects whose cousins enthusiastically wait to feast in the moist flesh of a woman who became too thirsty in August's prarie.

[Anonymous No.12149768]

>>12147412
Sunset some's wet on the squatting squalor near the grass groaning moaning aching shaking the whole charade is up, for her stool has loosened than oft before FOUL BEAST I DAMN THEE with ignominy and superfluity the Moon came in her room with a well lit candle and ecce she shat in the bed once again I say with a seeping liquid running across the room's stained walls, thirsty beyond agitation "I yearn for more," she whispered

[Anonymous No.12149791]

>>12149521
best so far byt the second shat should be shit

[Anonymous No.12149804]

>>12147680
based

[Anonymous No.12149813]

During these days she hated herself in minute detail: she hated her identity, her bodily necessities, her humiliation, her golden blonde hair.

[Anonymous No.12149827]

[Anonymous No.12149828]

>>12149791
Thank you kindly. Regarding the second 'shat', I though long and hard (as all matters concerning shit should) about 'shat' v. 'shit', and concluded that the vowel-shuffle ("drAnk to shIt; shAt to drInk") was more interesting to psueds and general lovers of words than the more reasonable alternative.

Or not. I'm most interested to hear another opinion. Plz respond, it's my first time /lit/ting.

[Anonymous No.12149839]

>>12149521
>She drank to shit; she shat to drink.
this makes it sound like shes drinking shit. the imagery of the moon going mad watching some girl shit in a field made me laugh, not sure if that's what you were going for.

[Anonymous No.12149849]

>>12149768
kek

[Anonymous No.12149852]

>>12149739
>Exorcisms come at a great cost, the expulsion of this shit-demon was draining the life from her.

[Anonymous No.12149898]

The sun rose upon her squatting form as she clenched her teeth and shat. Animal and ugly, she groaned through the cramps and contractions until night fell and her stool ran thin. When she could she gulped back the pale water, but her bowels only loosened further.

[Anonymous No.12149912]

>>12148543
>All that shitting, like all the dying and death of this cruel world.
I can't tell whether you people are trying to be serious or somehow write something more cringe than gurrm did.

[Anonymous No.12149949]

>>12147412
As much of a stodgy old fart as you will accuse me of being, I will make this observation: rewriting this passage to remove the use of prepositions outside of prepositional phrases greatly increases the variety and color of this piece. Do the easy things first.

[Anonymous No.12149959]

>>12149839
Yes, I was hoping to make you, specifically, laugh. A person looks at the moon and goes mad. It only makes sense that the moon should look at a person and also go mad, shit or no shit.

She's drinking the shat. That's exactly what I wanted to make it sound like

[Anonymous No.12149975]

She turns. "Hold up my fur." He obeys. "Be careful. Don't touch my skin." Earlier in this game she was nervous, constipated, wondering if this was anything like male impotence. But thoughtful Pointsman, anticipating this, has been sending laxative pills with her meals. Now her intestines whine softly, and she feels shit begin to slide down and out. He kneels with his arms up holding the rich cape. A dark turd appears out the crevice, out of the absolute darkness between her white buttocks. He spreads his knees, awkwardly, until he can feel the leather of her boots. He leans forward to surround the hot turd with his lips, sucking on it tenderly, licking along its lower side… he is thinking, he's sorry, he can't help it, thinking of a Negro's penis, yes he knows it abrogates part of the conditions set, but it will not be denied, the image of a brute African who will make him behave… The stink of shit floods his nose, gathering him, surrounding. It is the smell of Passchendaele, of the Salient. Mixed with the mud, and the putrefaction of corpses, it was the sovereign smell of their first meeting, and her emblem. The turd slides into his mouth, down to his gullet. He gags, but bravely clamps his teeth shut. Bread that would only have floated in porcelain waters somewhere, unseen, untasted-risen now and baked in the bitter intestinal Oven to bread we know, bread that's light as domestic comfort, secret as death in bed… Spasms in his throat continue. The pain is terrible. With his tongue he mashes shit against the roof of his mouth and begins to chew, thickly now, the only sound in the room…

[Anonymous No.12149981]

>>12147412
I'd improve it by wiping my ass with the page it's on. It would also be very ironic and meta

[Anonymous No.12149999]

>>12149975
>A dark turd appears
The blandness of this line contrasts to greatly with the rest of the text. Otherwise breddi gud.

[Anonymous No.12150016]

>>12149999
you just critiqued Pynchon anon

[Anonymous No.12150059]

>>12150016
No one stands outside of the view of critique - not even TP.

[Anonymous No.12150092]

My name is Mister Poop and I like to poop. Sometimes my poop gets real runny and puddles at my feet; sometimes my poop takes ages to reveal itself (thank you constipation!); sometimes butt plugs fail; sometimes doctors flog their assistants.
Forward march.