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/lit/ - Literature

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12137312 No.12137312[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

I wrote the bible. Ask me anything.

>> No.12137314

What do you think about the Koran?

>> No.12137318

>>12137314
I wrote the Quran as well.

>> No.12137320

>>12137318
Why?

>> No.12137326

>>12137320
It was necessary to have both.

>> No.12137327

>>12137326
Which one is the fanfic?

>> No.12137335

why did jesus drown all those pigs?

>> No.12137339

>>12137335
The question, "why does anything happen at all?" has the same answer. The demon-pigs drowned themselves.

>>12137327
It's not about fanfic versus canon, they are both supposed to teach you somethings.

>> No.12137345

>>12137339
Have you wrote anything else?

>> No.12137351

>>12137345
Some "non-canon" Bible writings as well, and many other unrelated things.

>> No.12137354

>>12137351
What do you think about the Protestant Reform and the mass translations and production of bibles made since then?

>> No.12137359

>>12137312
What motivated you to write it?

>> No.12137362

Where's the sequel? Oh Kant stole your idea?

>> No.12137377

>>12137354
There have always been many different versions, and that is on purpose as well. The very last line of the Bible was written to signify this by being open to many different translations. The line was written weird on purpose such that people would be forced to translate it in their local way.

Protestantism helped to spread the Bible.

>>12137359
The knowledge that people would read.

>>12137362
The New Testament was written quite some time after the Old Testament. If there were to be a sequel, it too would take a long time, perhaps longer, relatively, to arise.

>> No.12137380
File: 117 KB, 736x736, datpige.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12137380

>>12137335
oh, no, no, no

>> No.12137387

>>12137377
Since you also wrote the Koran, that would preclude you writing any sequel.

>> No.12137392

>>12137387
They are two separate canons, so the Quran denies the Bible's prophetic fruition but Revelation says otherwise.

>> No.12137399

>>12137312
What’s the deal with that part in Exodus where God tries to come and kill Moses after Moses is going out to fulfill his command, and Moses is saved because Zipporah circumcises him in his sleep?

>> No.12137409

>>12137399
The Old Testament was written a great time before the New Testament, and its purpose at that time (as you may realize) was to solidify and reinforce the importance of God's orders.

>> No.12137420

I suspect that a friend of mine is working on the Sabbath. Should I smite him just to be sure?

>> No.12137428

>>12137420
What was later revealed about that in the New Testament should answer that question on its own.

>> No.12137430

>>12137312

What are some of your own favourite excerpts?

>> No.12137433

What's with the Apocrypha? Are they part of the Bible or what? Some Bibles don't have it are you okay with that?

>> No.12137444

>>12137430
Revelation 13
Matthew 12
Genesis 2
Revelation 22
And many more.

>>12137433
Reading the Word is not as necessary as understanding the Word. A child of Satan could read every line in the Bible and every line omitted from the Bible many times over and still not understand it at all.

>> No.12137453

>>12137312
The 1999 blockbuster The Matrix heavily draws from the Bible. The rebel base in the movie is known as Zion, the primary ship is named Nebuchadnezzar (after the Biblical king), and the film’s Judas character is named Cypher in reference to the name LuCIPHER.

>> No.12137455

>>12137453
Many things draw from other things, and popular things would be more likely to be drawn from, having more popularity.

>> No.12137459

What is your Magnum Opus?

>> No.12137460

>>12137312
Get much work these days?

>> No.12137462

>>12137460
It looks good to have on job applications.
>>12137459
As of yet, Revelation.

>> No.12137575

>>12137312
"Bible writer"
Fuck off back to grammar classes

>> No.12137614

>>12137339
>The demon-pigs drowned themselves.
they were demons? totally missed that

>> No.12137615

>>12137462
will I ever get married?

>> No.12137629

>>12137312
So, what is your next book going to be about?

>> No.12137735

>>12137575
Nothing is wrong with that grammar.

>>12137614
Mark 5:12

>>12137615
It's "possible."

>>12137629
You'll have to wait and see.

>> No.12137739

Thoughts on the book of mormon?

>> No.12137741

why did jesus kill the fig tree?

>> No.12137748

>>12137739
There are many different religious interpretations, each one serves its own purpose.

>>12137741
It was sentenced to no longer bare youth or fruit, to prove that with the power of God, anything is possible.

>> No.12137750

>>12137748
>It was sentenced to no longer bare youth or fruit,
it withered and died though

>> No.12137757

>>12137750
>it withered and died
So do a lot of fig trees. What Jesus intended was for the tree to no longer bare fruit so no one could eat from it again, and what Jesus intended for happened. This was to prove that anything is possible with God.

>> No.12137774

>>12137312
Who the hell are you?

>> No.12137776

>>12137757
so jesus didn't intend to kill the tree?
and it withered and died right before him, it wasn't a 'normal' death for a tree

>> No.12137787

>>12137774
The one who wrote the Bible.

>>12137776
Its death is the means of it not baring figs. If you read the verses again you will see that curse Jesus gave was for no one to eat from it again, and in response to the command, it withered. There are many things that would have satisfied the command, but that is what happened. Yes, the real purpose of the withering is that it wasn't normal, once again, to prove that anything is possible with the power of God.

>> No.12137799 [DELETED] 

>>12137787
but wasn't jesus trying to eat a fruit from the tree, but it was out of season? so why did jesus not simply create a fig to eat? you're saying that the tree chose to wither? and his curse was that it would not bare fruit, specifically, not that no one would eat from it.

>> No.12137808

>>12137787
ok, basically this is my main question, did jesus intend to prevent the tree from baring fruit, or did he intend to kill it?

>> No.12137824

>>12137799
>>12137808
He chose specifically to wither the tree, such that it would not bare fruit any more.

>> No.12137852

>>12137824
ok, gotcha, but did he preplan to do this to prove his point about God's power to peter, or did he do it spontaneously upon discovering it had no fruit? was it an act of anger or just a demonstration?

>> No.12137865

>>12137852
It was not "spontaneous."

>> No.12137875

>>12137865
so, jesus would have done this regardless of whether it had food?
why did (you) make a point to say jesus was hungry and wanted food if the only point was to show God had the power to do the "impossible"?

>> No.12137885

>>12137875
The "details" have their own purposes.
Why did I mention Simona from Cyrene in three gospels but not four?

There are secrets.

>> No.12137905
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12137905

>>12137885
>ask me anything
>there are secrets

>> No.12137908

>>12137885
what is the purpose though?
this passage always confused me

>> No.12137920

>>12137905
Ask does not equal answer.
>>12137908
It mentioned Jesus was hungry to set-up the anecdote.

>> No.12137927

>>12137920
I think it would be disingenuous to say it isn't implied that when one says ama means "ask me a question and I will answer it".

>> No.12137928

>>12137920
Are the Nephilim literal giant demon-hybrids or are they metaphors for the relative power of the Canaanites? Or something else entirely?

>> No.12137937

>>12137312
On which timeline?

>> No.12137939

>>12137920
>It mentioned Jesus was hungry to set-up the anecdote
that seems like a lack of effort on your part, and a confusing and low quality way to begin a story,if it had no relation to the actual story afterwards.
i'm beginning to think you didn't really write the bible.........

>> No.12137954

>>12137939
or they are the writer and they're just not that good

>> No.12137956

>>12137927
Well, if there is a secret concerning a question, I will tell you that it is a secret, so I am giving you new information.

>>12137928
Something else.

>>12137937
All timelines.

>>12137939
The reason Jesus looked to the fig tree was because Jesus was hungry. Being hungry, Jesus was looking for food, when he got to the fig tree and noticed that it had no figs, because it was out of season, he gave a curse to the fig tree, that it should not bare any manner of fruits. The followers heard it, later, when they came back, they saw it had withered.

I would be surprised if you came into this thread thinking I wrote the Bible, and you are just now changing your mind.

It is good to test people's words, but only if you really know what to look for in their responses.