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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature


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1213231 No.1213231 [Reply] [Original]

"No, you," he said, disturbingly calmly.

Is this a proper case of using an adverb to modify an adverb, or do I have to go find some other way about this?

>> No.1213253 [DELETED] 

It's correct but it sounds like shit.

Try:
>"No, you" he said, with a disturbing calmness.

>> No.1213256

"No, you," he said, disturbingly calm.

>> No.1213258

Sounds perfect, but could use tacos.

Try:
>"No, you," he said, disturbingly calmly, with tacos.

>> No.1213259

When is the last time you spoke the word "disturbingly" in conversation?

>> No.1213260

>>1213231
"No, you!" he ejaculated, calmly disturbing.

>> No.1213262

>>1213259
When was the last time you said "spoke" in casual conversation?

>> No.1213265 [DELETED] 
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1213265

>>1213256
>>1213256

I don't like it that way, it's not clear enough what is being described as "disturbingly calm".

>> No.1213268

shouldn't be using adverbs, son
it's the mark of a poor writer
the disturbing and the calm should be inferred by context and character not spelled out for the reader

>> No.1213270

> "On the contrary, yourself," he pronounced with disconcerting equanimity.

>> No.1213271

>>1213268
fuck you vigorously and unceasingly, everyone loves adverbs unreservedly.

>> No.1213284

>>1213270
"Nay, þou" he spaketh, possessed by quiescence most unnerving.

>> No.1213287

>>1213268
It gets really really annoying doing that every time some speaks, especially in a dialogue heavy work. Do it too much, especially, and it will turn readers off, just as much as the writer.

>> No.1213292

>>1213284
I would have changed that to "possessed by calme moste dysturbing"

>> No.1213296

>>1213259
>>1213262
Your lexicons sadden me.

>>1213265
This gentleman has an excellent point.

OP, I would recommend Truman's initial suggestion.

>> No.1213313
File: 40 KB, 409x516, beckett.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1213313

>>1213268
>illiterately implying that only Samuel Beckett wrote good books.
I don't completely disagree with you...

>> No.1213325

Disturbingly calm, he said: "No.....you."

>> No.1213337

Perfectly calm, he looked me right in the eye and said, "No. . . you."

>> No.1213341 [DELETED] 
File: 20 KB, 383x383, truman19.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1213341

>>1213337

Too cliche.

>>1213325
See this:
>>1213265

>> No.1213342

Whereupon we come meet the stage thus set,
A man with demeanor unperturbed,
And such countenance causing one to fret.
Thus he spake, "Against what was asserted,
'tis you, yourself that shall my purpose serve."

>> No.1213363

What's the point of all this? What's this sentence for? You're not trying to write the perfect sentence are you? You'll go mad like the man from 'The Plague'

>> No.1213368

>>I don't like it that way, it's not clear enough what is being described as "disturbingly calm".

Yes it is. "Calm" being an adjective that has to modify a noun, and "he" being the only noun in the sentence, it's perfectly clear what it has to modify....provided you structure the sentence in a way so that it doesn't sound like a dangling modifier.

>> No.1213382 [DELETED] 

But OP is trying to modify the verb, not the noun.

>> No.1213411

>>1213382
Yeah, but its understood the same way by the reader anyhow.

>> No.1213423

>>1213363
It was just a quick question. I've already moved on, but /lit/ is hilarious in it's ability to take a really simple thing and talk about it for about three weeks.

>> No.1213427

>>1213231
It's grammatical, but it's also terrible. Erase that sentence forever.

>> No.1213429
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1213429

>>1213342

>> No.1213472

>>1213342
Is that some iambic pentameter?

>> No.1213800

"No; you," he said calmly; disturbingly.

>> No.1213806

I love this board.

>> No.1213814
File: 40 KB, 130x186, hell.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1213814

>>1213806

it's the best.

>> No.1213823

>disturbingly calmly.

English does not work that way.

>> No.1213844

>>1213259
Are you saying he shouldn't use the word because he might not have ever actually said it?
If this was the rule, then most of the modern English language wouldn't be here.

>> No.1213848

in a disturbingly calm fashion

>> No.1213849

"No you" he said with a calmness that disturbed her. Not the disturbing calm you feel when watching a thunderstorm approach, more the anxious tranquility of being massaged by a large hairy man.

>> No.1213858
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1213858

>>1213849

>> No.1213967

"Nein, du," sagte er, beunruhigend gelassen .

>> No.1214002

The night was sultry.

>> No.1215343

This thead. is. awesome. lmao.

>> No.1215348

>>1215343
Hello, thread, welcome back from page 15.

>> No.1215635

How is this thread still alive? I was pissed enough when I had to explain that "disturbingly calm" meant that it would naturally modify the only fucking noun in the sentence ("he") and then somebody said "Yes but he's trying to modify the verb" and at that point I went off to have dinner like 9 hours ago BECAUSE IN THIS CASE I FAIL TO SEE HOW MODIFYING THE VERB OR THE NOUN IN THE SENTENCE--considering the words being used---MAKES A DIFFERENCE. How does it differ with "he" being what's "disturbingly calm" as he says this thing, or the "saying" itself being something that's done in a "disturbingly calm" fashion, either way I'm arguing with somebody who has no fucking ear for English prose. It's not like this is fucking Flaubert stressing out about le mot juste or bending over backwards stylistically because he's offended by the use of double-genitive phrase construction. JESUS GOD. Sometimes you people on /lit/ are just SO FUCKING STUPID I don't even know why I bother. Really I don't.

And all I want is for this thread to die and now I've probably bumped it. Fuck you, OP. Fuck you.

>> No.1216124

>>1215635
Well its possible that the man himself didn't display calm, but rather that the disturbing part is how calmly he said "no, you" when otherwise so agitated.

>> No.1216129

>>1216124
how can he display disturbing calmness without appearing disturbingly calm (or vice-versa)?

>> No.1216131

>>1216129
He could be all raging like, and then a sudden disconnect in tone where he suddenly speaks calmly, but while his expression is still one of utmost insanity. It would be improper to call him calm, but his manner of speaking could be.

>> No.1216146
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1216146

>>1216131

>> No.1216150

Correct or not that sentence sounds like someone pooped in their own mouth

>> No.1216151

>>1216146
Perhaps, but the English Language is an amazing thing, it is perhaps the best medium in the world for splitting hairs.

>> No.1216511
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1216511

>>1213231
"No, you," he said, in a disturbingly calm voice.

>> No.1216694
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1216694

"It's like I don't even know you" he said with a calmness that betrayed no agitiation; bar the slight tick in his left eye. He was disturbed, she knew that now.

>> No.1216705 [DELETED] 
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1216705

>>1215635

You're an idiot, it's possible the very reason the exclamation was disturbing was because of the agitation of the man.

>> No.1216702

"There is no you," he said, in a disturbingly existential voice.

>> No.1216716
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1216716

"Noh, you," he said, wearing a disturbingly calm mask.

>> No.1216779

"No... You..." replied the man standing in the shade, maintaining a persistent visage of calmness.

>> No.1217172

No, you," he said, impassively bonechilling .

>> No.1217185

"Yes, me," I said, reassuringly agitated.

>> No.1217200

>>1217185
"Maybe, him" you said, confusingly aroused.

>> No.1217243

"No, you," he said, truly, madly, deeply...

>> No.1217257

"Verily, thou," quoth he, alarmingly unperturbed.

>> No.1217269

"No you," he said, extraordinarily obtusely.

>> No.1217282

"No, you," he said, excessively loquaciously.

>> No.1217296

"No, you" he said, 32 hours ago

>> No.1217313

no u

>> No.1217336

>>1217313
I find your nonchalance unnerving.

>> No.1217751

Hey OP, if you haven't died of old age, could you provide the rest of the paragraph.

>> No.1218020

>>1216124
Actually, I'm glad I randomly clicked on page 8 and laughed when I saw this thread still up, because that's exactly what I was trying to convey.

>> No.1218057

>>1218020
"I, too" Anon said "have enjoyed this thread disturbingly humorously."

>> No.1218479

There was nothing to disturb the calm he felt as he leant forward and whispered gently into her ear "No, you"

>> No.1218632

>>1217257

Where can I find writing like this?

>> No.1218639

>>1213268
This. Adverbs really grind my gears.

>> No.1218642
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1218642

"No, you...LOLOL!!1 JK but sryly fuk dat," he said, being careful to enunciate the "1" in a way that befits a numeral placed after double exclamation marks.

>> No.1218655

>>1218632
Thomas Urquhart's translation of Rabelais.

>> No.1218665

>>1218655

What about Shakespeare?

Any where else?

>> No.1219560

In a disturbingly calm manner

>> No.1219587

>>1213253
The first poster had it right. But that just makes the rest of the thread more hilarious.

Captcha: Litera balmame

>> No.1219681

fuck- i hope this thread never dies.

>> No.1219688

>>1218665
All literature from the 16th century. Marlowe, etc. Also King James Bible.

>> No.1219710

"No, you," he said, disturbingly enough, in a calm tone.

>> No.1219730

>>1219710
What's that enough shit.
Get that out of there.

>> No.1219778

he said with disturbing calm

>> No.1219793

with a calmness that disturbed

>> No.1219800

"he said" is shit, and adding a bit extra to disguise its shitness is shittier

>> No.1219848

the most disturbing part really was how damn calm he had been about the whole thing. The way he passed the double headed welsh fusiler back and said "No, you". Bastard.

>> No.1220060
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1220060

His calm "No, you," disturbed me.

>> No.1220796

"I'd rather it be you" he stammered, anxiously comfortingly.

>> No.1220817

my first visit to /lit/ in a few weeks

I take it /lit/ is not normally this entertaining?

>> No.1220821

"No, you," he said, with a calmness that was unnerving/disturbing.

i win

>> No.1220825

>>1219710
your shit

>> No.1220960

"No you," he said.

Adding that other shit is one of the worst mistakes new writers make. The rest of your scene should convey they disturbing and the calm, unless you are a shit writer.

>> No.1220963

"No, you," he said, or maybe not. I'm not sure. I heard it was all over Twitter though...did you guys see it?

>> No.1221108

Calmly, "No You," he said. It was disturbing.

>> No.1221114

>>1221108

shit. i forgot a comma. just the same, i never want this thread to die.

>> No.1221116

"No, you," he said, in a disturbingly calm voice.

>> No.1221139

"No, you," he said. The calmness of his voice disturbed him.

>> No.1221153

>>1221139
DISTURBED WHO?

WHAT IF NO ONE WAS THERE TO HEAR, BY THE SPEAKER HIMSELF? HE DISTURBED HIMSELF?

>> No.1221154

"No, you," he said, in that disturbingly calm way he used to have, before the love of that women changed him, and before he became an outlaw, high and mighty against the powers of the land, and settled into the wild and lawless ways of those men, and lost that calmness, and lived and died and was buried.

>> No.1221296

>>1221154
...only to rise again; to sit upon the stoop of a dug-out prairie home, stare into the distance, and to wonder aloud, "Is this a proper case of using an adverb to modify an adverb, or do I have to go find some other way about this?"

>> No.1221303

"Disturbingly calmly," he said no, you.

>> No.1221307

>>1221303
"Disturbingly calmly," said he, you know.

>> No.1221321

"Disturbingly, no," he said calmly. "You

>> No.1221353
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1221353

>> No.1221535
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1221535

This happens every damn time I play scrabble she said, "I end up with the Q and..."
"No U" he said disturbingly calmly.

>> No.1221541

>>1221535
holy shit I spat coffee all over my keyboard

>> No.1221548

>>1221535
You need to write a book now, with that in it. No matter how horrible the book, that will save it. I think I love you.

>> No.1221552

>>1213342
>>1213342
You are my favourite.

>> No.1221563

>>1218655

Why did it take me an entire hour to find a free PDF on the first page of google?

Much appreciated.

>>1219688

Also thanks.

>> No.1221570

http://www.rainymood.com/
+
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWGDGx2pVp0

>> No.1221589

"i spoke softy, announcing to the room that he was indeed a huge Orson Welles"
The clown sat across the way slowly lifted his eyes to meet mine, his face impassive, his lopsided, red, cracking grin sending shivers down my spine.
"No, U." said he, disturbingly calmly.

disturbingly calmly is now a meme

>> No.1221593

>>1213342

I want to put my dick on you.

>> No.1221633

Calmly disturbingly said he "you, no"

>>1221589

agreed

>> No.1221635

"that clown looks ilke the joker from Batman Begins"
"you mean The Dark Knight, right?" replied his quick witted friend,
"No, you" he said, disturbingly calmly

>> No.1221645

Disturbingly and calmly, he said, "No, you."

>> No.1221655

He creaked into her private space and wasting no Jew pomp began to dictate: Colorless green ide-
"No, you" a hazard let out disturbingly calmly, for him, from her, as cultures of yeast wage warfare on the battlefield of entwined loins.
"It's on you then."
"agred."

>> No.1222846
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1222846

"No you," he said, disturbingly calmly.

>> No.1222866 [DELETED] 
File: 9 KB, 172x170, 8c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1222866

>>1222846
>disturbingly calmly
>/lit/

>> No.1222888
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1222888

"NO!!!! You."

(a picture worth 1000xWERDZ)

>> No.1222893
File: 31 KB, 450x357, robertdenirojustfarted.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1222893

"No, you," he said.

Jesus, people. Let the context convey the tone.

>> No.1223866

daily bump?
daily bump.

>> No.1224384

"Nay, thou," he spoke, disturbingly calmly.

>> No.1224425
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1224425

>>1223866

must...keep...thread...ALIVE.

>> No.1225891

"No," he said disturingly, "you calmly."

>> No.1225900

This sounds like a european sensibility

>> No.1225920

"He said no," you disturbed calmly

>> No.1225952

"No, you," disturbingly he said calmly.

>> No.1225976

this needs to be archived

>> No.1226044

Calmly following disturbingly you said, "No," to him.

>> No.1226062

"Calmy, no" he said, disturbing you.

>> No.1226756

needs moar requests http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit

>> No.1227535

http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit
thread id is: 1213231
board is: /lit/

>> No.1227625 [DELETED] 

>>1227626

bump

>> No.1227641

She glanced quickly across the subway car. He was still there, leaning toward her, still staring, with the same not-quite-grin on his face. Had she been recognized? Was this more than the usual insouciant leer of a man that knew he could ogle a woman and get away with it? Would she have to move again, take up a new name, learn a new job?

She was suddenly aware that he'd stood up and was standing over her. She looked up, trying to supress a shiver. And she knew it was him. He had found her and he was going to kill her. "You--"

"Know you," he said, disturbingly calmly.

>> No.1227681

"Live, damn you!" he bump the thread, disturbingly calmly.

>> No.1227684

>>1213292
lol'd

"No, you......"

>> No.1227685

Hey /lit/ quick question.

Did Machiavelli have a specific monarch in mind when he wrote his now famous book, "The Prince"?

>> No.1227696

>>1227685

"No, you...should stick to the appropriate thread," he said, disturbingly calmly

>> No.1227701

>>1227685

Nope, he didn't. Your English teacher will be proud that you're right.

>> No.1227712

"Non, vous," dit-il, calmement inquiétant, choquant moi dans la narration en français.

>> No.1227718

"لا ، أنت" ، وقال : مقلق تتطلع بهدوء منشفة على رأسي.

>> No.1227719

"Нет, вы," сказал он, тревожно спокойно, пока я пил мою водку быстро

>> No.1227720

"No, you," he said in a calm, yet disturbing manner.

>> No.1227728

“不,你,”他說,令人不安的平靜

>> No.1227729

Да. Это хорошо. ^

>> No.1227735

>>1227729

"Tack, du!" sade han, oroväckande lugnt.

>> No.1227738

"Ek is plaas in 'n Afrikaans," het hy gesê, ontstellende calmy

>> No.1227740

>>1227735
"Nej, Du," sade han störande lugnt.

>> No.1227752

"Que nenni, c'est vous, au contraire", me signifia-t-il d'un ton dont la nonchalance me fit vaciller

>> No.1227766

"Hayır, sen," dedi, rahatsız edici bir sakinlikle.

>> No.1227771

>>1227740

"Du är för snäll min gode herre," sade han oroväckande lugnt.

>> No.1227776

>>1227752

Je dois dire, je hésité assez férocement que j'ai lu cette phrase délicieuse. Il me ravis à mon moelle!

>> No.1227778
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1227778

>mfw this thread is still alive
>mfw my post, which was the very first post, was deleted because I was banned for linking a dot ru site
>mfw the answer to OP's question is still:

"No you." he said, with a disturbing calmness.

>> No.1227779

>>1227766

"Hayır, siz! Memeler ya defol!" o, rahatsız edici uyandırdı "dedi.

>> No.1227782

>>1227778

لا تترك رحلة كدح قبل أن الجهاد لك!

>> No.1227799

>>1227782

LOL Capote better watch his back!

>> No.1227814
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1227814

>>1227782

What does this mean?

Something about a jihad?

>> No.1227831

>>1227814

Do not leave before the trip toil that jihad is for you!

Courtesy of Google Translate

>> No.1227835

Just hyphenate it like a gangsta: disturbingly-calmly

New Yorker will call it genius.

>> No.1227847

>>1227835
>>1227831

"No...you?" he asked with a a calmness that bordered on the disturbing.

>> No.1228628

"No, you," he said, bumping epic shit to page zero disturbingly calmly

>> No.1228691

"Bump, you," Anon said, disturbingly calmly.

>> No.1229086

"non; tu." ait, cum animo aequo nefare.

>> No.1229105

>>1227847

Some profound and revered people could say that you have used far too many words than is necessary, and that your idiosyncratic symbols could cause someone a somnambular effect.

>> No.1229311

"Most Certainly", he said with a cheery disposition.

>> No.1229326

"NO U," he calmly said, disturbing.
"NO U," disturbingly calming, he said.
"NO," he said, disturbingly, calmly, "YOU."

He said, "No disturbing you," calmly.

"No, he," you said, calmly disturbing.

"No calming," he said, disturbing you.

"Disturbingly no," he calmly said, "you."

>> No.1229357

Weekly bump?

>> No.1229362
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1229362

"But do they float?" the boy asked.

"No, you," He said, disturbingly calmly.

>> No.1229804

Bump?

>> No.1229820

No.

"You, he," said Disturbingly Calmly.

>> No.1230535

>>1213342
Iambic pentameter win.

>> No.1232015

"This thread will not die" he said, disturbingly calmly.

>> No.1232114

"No Jew," Herr said, disturbingly calmly.

>> No.1232121

"Calmly disturb," he - no, you - said.

>> No.1232141

>>1218479
>leant

What in the bloody fuck?

>> No.1232166
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1232166

'disturbingly calmly' is fucking moronic

go kill yourself OP for initiating this cancer bullshit

>> No.1232169

How is this thread still alive? oh wait