/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.1205933]

This kid I am facebook friends with decides that he likes to write shitty poetry. He writes a new poem every week and tags a bunch of people in it. They are constantly telling him how great he is and to keep on. I know he can only get better with time, but he has not progressed at all. Pisses me off /lit/.

[Anonymous No.1205942]

Post some of his stuff.

[juxtaposer !6eo0Cr.dwA No.1205950]

poast some poems

[Anonymous No.1205954]

explain why his poems are bad and tell him how he can improve

[Anonymous No.1205959]

Seeing if I should screencap instead


Bring me the Dawn
Perhaps the Horizon
A New Day Drawn
I shan't be Broken


Today is the Day
I shall Rise Again
Life isn't Gray
Now isn't Then
Be Happy Forever
Let there be Light
There is no Night
Shan't cry Never
Today is the Day
When all is Right
Everything's Okay
Let these words be the Light

[Anonymous No.1205966]

>>1205959

let him write what he wants

you don't have to read it

[Anonymous No.1205968]

>>1205959

[Anonymous No.1205972]

>>1205959
I think they would be better as song lyrics...maybe. he could do like inspirational rap?

[Anonymous No.1205975]

I wrote you guys some poetry, myself.

The world is an ocean
and I'm swimming like a dolphin
then I do the tricks for the trainer
and I get the fish
sweet sweet fish
turn on my jet engine
I'm a rocket dolphin

[Anonymous No.1205977]

>>1205966

I have no problem with him writing, its just the fact that all his friends are just complimenting him while he has not progressed at all.

[Anonymous No.1205986]

[Anonymous No.1205987]

Another here:

>>1205808

[Anonymous No.1205989]

Hey guys, I wrote you guys another poem.

The clouds are volcanoes
billowing and bubbling
the heat rises and rises
reminds me of jello
stick the stapler in the jello
and the voices in my head
call for the spoon
they demand the jello
the volcano erupts

[Anonymous No.1205995]

>>1205959
>Bring me the Dawn
>Perhaps the Horizon

[Anonymous No.1205996]

>>1205995

OP Here...that just took shit to a whole new level...

[Master Poet No.1206002]

Nigger nigger burn so bright
Your suffering prove our might
Oh yeah, it all right.

[Anonymous No.1206003]

>>1205933
You dumbass!

You're completely missing what's going on here. Nobody cares if his poetry is good. By posting it, he's getting a reputation as Artistic and Smart. By praising him, people are building social ties with him and others, and building their own credentials as people who are Artistic and care about this sort of thing.

If you go in and shit all over his poems, you're pretty much just going to come off as an asshole, someone who takes things too seriously, is overly negative, and just a big ol meanie. It's completely antithetical to the whole point of the thing. It's not about being good at poetry. It's about building social capital.

[Anonymous No.1206007]

>>1206003

Shut the fuck up, his poems suck.

[Anonymous No.1206027]

>>1206003
OP here..I never said I was commenting on them on Facebook.

Will post another poem in a minute.

[Master Poet No.1206038]

Times they drift away
Eternity is nigh
I fall unto your arms
I fall into your eyes
to my demise.

[Anonymous No.1206050]

OP Here...this is the person's attempt at "3 line stanzas"

I'm here to Stay
Nothing will Gray
Always Happy, Everyday.
Trust our Love
Sent from Above
For, It even Fits like a Glove.
No need to Rush
My Worst side, you Crush
You even make me Blush.
We're so Weird
Nothing to be Feared
We know We will have Cared.
But, Revealing are Your Eyes
Our Love to Grow to Full-Size
Should the Chance Arise.
The Chance will have been Arisen
All of my Heart is Given
All Shadows shall be Driven.

[Anonymous No.1206089]

>>1206050
AWK---WARD!!!

[Anonymous No.1206101]

>>1206007
That's completely not the point. At all. No one actually cares about his poems.

[Master Poet No.1206122]

>>1206050
>I'm here to Stay
hm.
>Nothing will Gray
Gray is not a verb, gb2 gradeschool.
>Always Happy, Everyday.
Attempting to care..... Attempt failed.
>Trust our Love
Fucking homo.
>Sent from Above
HAHAHA I GET IT LOVE RHYMES WITH ABOVE...no..
>For, It even Fits like a Glove.
I saw that coming
>No need to Rush
hm.
>My Worst side, you Crush
Teenager words do not fit into this excuse for a poem.
>You even make me Blush.
I get it, you can rhyme.. We done?
>We're so Weird
>Nothing to be Feared
>We know We will have Cared.
UuUuuuuuuUuh
>But, Revealing are Your Eyes
Ok.
>Our Love to Grow to Full-Size
UuUuUuuuuuuH
>Should the Chance Arise.
>The Chance will have been Arisen
I DONT BELIEVE IT
>All of my Heart is Given
>All Shadows shall be Driven.
hm.

[Anonymous No.1206142]

Here's a poem I wrote for you OP

Yet another Butler has been slain today
Blood drained from his throat and his life drained away
Was it the priest? Was it the messenger?
But nobody suspects an Eagle

Puncture wounds by blade or by beak?
What dastardly criminal must we seek?
Was it the nurse? Was it the child?
But nobody suspects an Eagle

And with feathers strewn across the room
which spell out the message "Coo! Coo! - and I'll kill you soon"
Was it the detective? Was it the gardener?
But nobody suspects an Eagle

[Master Poet No.1206150]

Please tell him to try some different rhyming schemes*. And that the "picture" should not be sacrificed for rhyming.

*ex,
A
B
A
B

[Anonymous No.1206155]

>>1206122

OP here..I noticed he could rhyme and be original really well too!

[Master Poet No.1206158]

>>1206142
I like it.

[Anonymous No.1206159]

AWWW SHIT GUYS.

He posted a status update with a little preview of what's to come.

" Got me so High, Caught in this Ecstasy, I know this isn't Fantasy, but You have Me Euphoric in Reality."

[Anonymous No.1206161]

>>1206142

I like it.

[Anonymous No.1206164]

>>1206158

thank you...It is from my anthology

'poems in which birds are the central theme'

[Anonymous No.1206190]

>>1206164
>>1206164

I'm disappointed that that isn't real. Or at least isn't showing up on Google.

[Anonymous No.1206197]

>>1206161

here is another poem

I begin my great voyage out to sea
but I'm far from starved of company
is this some ornithological hovercraft?
No! No! This is my two hundred strong duck raft

They make up the oars and they make up the hull
and break up the waves into a gentle lull
My friends quack merrily as I rest on their backs
Making the noises that my other boat lacks

"We don't need no seagulls or swans!" I cry
"Who cares how majestically those other birds fly?
Who else could swim me to distant banks?
Those airfowl are foolish and my duck raft outranks."

But soon there is trouble, one duck has left loose
that despite liking ducks, I would have chose goose
they quack and they bicker and bite and the peck
and out from the hull I hear "All wings on deck!"

They all break formation and break apart beneath me
Until my duck raft is all gone and I'm just left with the sea
And as I float here lonely, there's only one thing I wish
That upon starting my journey, I should have chose fish

[Anonymous No.1206212]

>>1206197

Glorious. More please.

[Anonymous No.1206228]

>>1206212

This poem is based off some birds I saw

A suspicious pair creep
and prowl on the edge of Ladybird Lake.
They sneak on soil and stalk on
water, no ordinary fowls make no mistake!
The second is always silent and
the first he always speaks,
such guttural scrapes and squawks
they produce from their flesh-pink beaks.
Whenever there's chaos or commotion
at an ugly, little duckling scene
this predatory pair are always
the last to be seen.
And the only thing more unsettling
than their great, towering size
is to stare into the heart of
their bright pumpkin-orange eyes.
So keep watch for these hunters
like raptors lying in wait:
the most sinister of fowl by
the shores of Ladybird Lake.

[Anonymous No.1206232]

>>1206197

[Anonymous No.1206252]

>>1206164

So did you get this published or something? Because these are pretty funny.

[Anonymous No.1206271]

>>1206252

No but I have a bunch of bird related poems I shall upload onto this blog

http://poemsaboutbirds.tumblr.com/

I don't think any sane person would publish these

[Anonymous No.1206287]

>>1206271
>“Like many Canadian people, they can be found outside Canada”

I lol'd. I don't know why.

[Anonymous No.1206365]

>>1206287

This is not a poem but I very short story about a bird

This Tuesday afternoon was not ordinary
or normal in anyway.
Though the sky was blue and the grass was green
something was astray.

I don't know if it's coincidence or merely
extremely good luck.
But on this Tuesday afternoon your narrator
had a misunderstanding with a duck.

I was sitting by my favourite lake
taking in some Somerset Maugham
I looked up and there I saw something
that was quite out of the norm.

A mallard duck stood before me
remaining perfectly still
and I must say his piercing stare
left me awful ill.

Maybe it was the Summer Sun
that caused me to shout out:
"Go away Mr. Mallard Duck, surely
there are female fowl about?"

And I clearly remember what happened
as clear as I remember his yellow beak.
That peculiar duck that stood before me
opened his mouth and begun to speak.

"I'm sorry Mr.Human Man as I never
intended to be rude.
But I'm not too familiar with this waterground
and I'm looking for my brood."

"Maybe you could help me as I can't remember
even after reflection.
I'm looking for a bridge nearby so
could you point me in the right direction?"

Being a old-fashioned English man
I pointed him on his way.
The duck thanked me and waddled off
making this my bizarre day.

I continued reading from my novel
from which many insights were learned.
But an hour later I was again surprised
as Mr.Mallard Duck had returned.

"I'm sorry, sir but there's been a misunderstanding
because I think you believe I can talk.
But I assure you, sir, no English has spoken
I'm just the same as any old goose or hawk."

And the beast was quiet and he
never again did speak
And he also had never spoken to me before
the duck merely had mystique

[Anonymous No.1206368]

>>1206365

wait sorry it is a poem

[Anonymous No.1206381]

>thread begins about bad poetry on facebook
>thread ends up being about poetry revolving around birds

[glenn No.1207292]

I'm trying to find a poem called 'Looking through the album.' I read it in my english Higher School Cetificate (i'm australian) this morning but couldn't take the question sheet on which the poem was with me.

[Anonymous No.1207300]

I saw the hawk ride updraft in the sunset over Wyoming.
It rose from coniferous darkness, past gray jags
Of mercilessness, past whiteness, into the gloaming
Of dream-spectral light above the lazy purity of snow-snags.

There--west--were the Tetons. Snow-peaks would soon be
In dark profile to break constellations. Beyond what height
Hangs now the black speck? Beyond what range will gold eyes see
New ranges rise to mark a last scrawl of light?

Or, having tasted that atmosphere's thinness, does it
Hang motionless in dying vision before
It knows it will accept the mortal limit,
And swing into the great circular downwardness that will restore

The breath of earth? Of rock? Of rot? Of other such
Items, and the darkness of whatever dream we clutch?

[Anonymous No.1207327]

Well bird dude, I bookmarked your site. Keep up the good work.