/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.12048473]

>try to write porn when not horny
>characters stand around discussing the reasons for the invasion of Iraq for three pages incidentally it wasn't about oil

>try to write porn when horny
>can't jerk off and type at the same time so end up with a blank page and an incredibly detailed fantasy that I lose all motivation to type after blamming

>try to write something other than porn
>"this is boring as fuck, i should write some porn"

I JUST
CAN'T
WIN

HOW THE FUCK DO I DO IT /lit/? I'm considering buying a fleshlight to mount under my desk so I can stimulate my dick hands free and be able to type.

This is actually a huge source of negative emotion for me because I can't do something as trivial and meaningless as write fucking porn.

[Anonymous No.12048477]

>>12048473
use a recording device so you can fap and write it out later

[Anonymous No.12048489]

>>12048477
what a terrible fucking idea
do people really do this? record themselves jerking off and then listening to it as their inspiration for writing a porn?
>>12048473
then don't jerk off, and just write out your fantasy while horny, nothing hard about that is it

[Anonymous No.12048494]

>>12048489
>nothing hard about that is it
My dick.

[Anonymous No.12048501]

>>12048494
>muh dick
contain yourself for half an hour while you write whatever you want to write, I'm sure you can manage to do that

[Anonymous No.12048507]

>>12048501
Apparently not.

Kill me.

Obviously self-discipline is required, but I was wondering if anyone had any helpful advice in addition.

[Anonymous No.12048508]

I get as horny as I humanly can on purpose but edge/stay well under the cumming point, write whatever fantasy comes to mind in that lewd haze, then re-read and bring myself to orgasm cuz I earned it (>inb4 literally fapping to your own writing), then let it be for a while until I'm in a sound mind again and edit simply for language/vocabulary/grammar/flow, letting the actual content stay as it is.

[Anonymous No.12048509]

>>12048489
>what a terrible fucking idea
I don't know if this is a fucking pathetic and unfunny attempt at ironic humour, but I was suggesting that op dictate his story to a recorder and write it out later on.

[Anonymous No.12048545]

>>12048509
OP here, that's not a terrible idea but I also can't really see myself doing it. I'd feel too weird uttering my unmentionable fetishes out loud even if I was the last man alive.

Incidentally, are speech-to-text programs any good these days?

[Anonymous No.12048548]

>>12048494

kek

[Anonymous No.12048561]

>>12048545
dragon naturallyspeaking is based as fuck, but a) expensive and a bitch to pirate and b) takes a while to train so it would recognize your lewd moans as coherent english. google has a free STT thingy that doesn't work half bad, you'll need to edit more and manually add words often though

[Anonymous No.12048567]

>>12048473
Lock your dick in a chastity cage. You'll be horny but unable to fap. Turning that energy into porn stories.

[Anonymous No.12048575]

>>12048567
Lock YOUR dick in a chastity cage

[Anonymous No.12048584]

>>12048575
I'll lock my dick in your mouth fag

[Anonymous No.12048586]

>>12048575
Lock my dick in a chastity cage senpai.

[Anonymous No.12048588]

>>12048473
>incidentally it wasn't about oil
this is violence

[Anonymous No.12048758]

>>12048588
The Iraq War was a necessary manifestation of the wholly appropriate desire to spread democracy.

[Anonymous No.12048765]

Have you tried jerking off + voice to text device?

[Anonymous No.12048787]

>>12048473
"HOW THE FUCK DO I DO IT /lit/? I'm considering buying a fleshlight to mount under my desk so I can stimulate my dick hands free and be able to type."

I have absolute confidence in this idea. This would not only improve pornographic writing, but writing in general. Imagine if Coleridge was fucking his desk like a madman while writing "Kublai Khan". Picture Cervantes pinned to the bottom of his table while churning out perfect prose. Imagine Kant meticulously washing out his fleshlight with mineral water and vinegar at the exact same time every evening in preparation for the next day, knowing that there is still work to be done.

That being said, I think we can all agree that it would at least help with writer's block

[Anonymous No.12048795]

>>12048473
Learn to write with one hand or get a recording device.

[Anonymous No.12048804]

>>12048787
Absolutely top quality posting.

[Anonymous No.12048818]

>not hiring a secretary and boinking her bent over the desk, as she types what you growl out in between thrusts
the absolute state of this board

[Anonymous No.12048838]

>>12048804
Thanks anon, i'm always out to make you guys laugh.

>>12048818
lol'd

[Anonymous No.12048858]

>>12048787

Nice one, Punchy.

[Anonymous No.12048878]

>>12048758
Absolutely based

[Anonymous No.12049961]

>>12048489
Whatever you write while horny reads terrible anyways afterwards

[Anonymous No.12050267]

woa i just cummed before i could finish the first paragraph. characters are still dressed.

[Anonymous No.12050938]

>>12050267
>tfw messy recipe

[Anonymous No.12051671]

>>12048818
> boink
lol, Porn-Claude Van Damme would be proud.

[Anonymous No.12051677]

>>12048473
>the reasons for the invasion of Iraq
Wasnt it just Jewish neocons doing their typical meddling for power in the middle east

[Anonymous No.12051742]

>tfw I've developed the ability to write high-level erotica based on my fetishes
>tfw I've given it up and now only do it in moments of weakness

I don't ever want to help people sin again.

[Anonymous No.12051765]

>>12048473
Just write some parts that make your dick hard, close your eyes and play woth your dick to these fantasies until they develop into more hotness, and open your eyes and write those new parts. I love writing porn, its so easy to imagine kinks compared to a good story, but soemtimes you hit moments of brilliance in your writing.

Why write when not horny tho? Dafuq

[Anonymous No.12051772]

>>12051765
lol i love writing porn shit too, is this the sign of the patrician /lit/ poster?

[Anonymous No.12051781]

>>12048818
Lmao

[Anonymous No.12051937]

>>12048473
>try to write porn when not horny
>characters stand around discussing the reasons for the invasion of Iraq for three page
Sounds great. Continue the discussion with less and less clothes until they fuck.

[Anonymous No.12051949]

Just write Tinglers

[Anonymous No.12051985]

Nice thighs. Sauce?

[Anonymous No.12052473]

Can anyone recommend me some good erotica?

[Anonymous No.12052480]

>>12052473
Sorry anon, the lusty library closed down. All I have left is paperbacks of Anne Rice novels.

[Anonymous No.12052520]

>>12051765
>Just write some parts that make your dick hard, close your eyes and play woth your dick to these fantasies until they develop into more hotness, and open your eyes and write those new parts.
The problem is taking your hands back off your dick, tbqh.

[Anonymous No.12052598]

>>12052480
just fucking kill me

[Anonymous No.12052623]

>>12052473
my diary desu

[Anonymous No.12052660]

>>12052598
Vittoria the Vampire has a nice vampire on male rape scene but there ends up to be a lot of homo-erotica in her novels too. Lestat knows how to get his dick wet too.

[Anonymous No.12052996]

>>12051671
thx, I'm humbled and honored. btw have you ever found something and wondered how you survived so long without it? that filename combined with that expression just gave me that

[Anonymous No.12053278]

>>12048473
I fucking love office slut erotica. The idea of some nicely dressed young girl walking into work on her first day, excited to finally be working on the same level as the big boys, for once. Then, it all goes quickly downhill as they turn her into their office toy slut.

A degree in business, 2 years of interning, 2 years of being a secretary, her portfolio stacked and ready, and instead, she gets paid 50,000 dollars a year to suck shaft and take dick for the rest of her working career.

She'll be bobbing her head up and down on her cubicle mate's dick, desperately trying not to gag on his length during an important board meeting. She'll be bent over the coffee table, pussy sore and red from the relentless pounding she's been taking, 9 to 5, with a 30 minute cock break.

MONER-KINO, POST PART 38, YOU FUCK

[Anonymous No.12053324]

>>12053278
t. teenage me roleplaying on yahoo messenger back in the day (as the boss and coworkers, before you ask, faggot)
is there something like nostalgic ptsd? half vivid cringe, half heartwarming soft focus flashback?

[Anonymous No.12053329]

>>12053278
>that toe cleavage

[Anonymous No.12053834]

>>12048473
Have you ever roleplayed in a detailed manner, OP? Or are you one of those shitters who use *thrusts in your pussy... thrusts in your pussy harder while holding ur boob xD oh baby oh baby I'm so horny, like totally...*

[Anonymous No.12054950]

>try to write porn
>only IR gets me horny
should I attempt to change time eras?

[Anonymous No.12055164]

>>12051742
Yea I guess it is difficult to think about sex if not in an obsessive way, and writing about sex feels like a waste of time anyway

[Anonymous No.12055184]

>>12054950
Indeed sexual repression is a blessing if you want to develop a sensibility to the subtlest aspects of sexual attraction, which you can turn into astounding dirty fiction once you are alone and relieved from social pressure

[Anonymous No.12055188]

>>12053278
I fucking forgot about moner-poster. I haven't been on TV in a while. My duck got harder than I liked.