Write what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.11771028]

[Anonymous No.11771072]

>>11771028
I have never felt so ashamed as i have currently. Not only am i downloading a porn game, but i'm doing so with my shitty computer skills

[Anonymous No.11771143]

chocolate milk

[Anonymous No.11771161]

I want to disappear. I don't have the courage to kill myself. I'm in my late 20s and still relationshipless with everything that entails. I have one close friend but it isn't enough and we haven't conversed much recently. I imagine she is likely growing tired of me again, isn't as interested in helping me as she claims, and simply has lots of other friends to bide her free time with. I belong to zero groups and spend most of my days at home, wishing someone would text me to hang out or invite me literally anywhere. Years and years and years and years of isolation and solitude have rendered me a numb chassis and I simply am not a fit for life, or current human society. I really fucking hope I can shoot my fucking self by the time I'm 30. Nobody will miss me when I'm gone, other than my parents. If I disappeared, the same outcome would present itself. Every day is misery and suffering. There is nothing for me here but I'm a weak-willed bitch and I wish to return to the nothing that I am.

[Anonymous No.11771166]

>>11771028
Just met my daily word count bros. Been going strong for several days in a row now, trying to keep it steady. Feels good.

[Anonymous No.11771267]

>>11771161
Grill?

[Anonymous No.11771287]

‘In this kind of house you have the mystery of the elder England. What was Raleigh’s phrase? “High thoughts and divine contemplations.” The people who built this sort of thing lived closer to another world, and thought bravely of death. It doesn’t matter who they were – Crusaders or Elizabethans or Puritans – they all had poetry in them and the heroic and a great unworldliness. They had marvellous spirits, and plenty of joys and triumphs; but they also had their hours of black gloom. Their lives were like our weather – storm and sun. One thing they never feared – death. He walked too near them all their days to be a bogey.’

[Anonymous No.11771292]

Update on the Whole Foods coffee girl: I went by again today and she was not there. I will go back tomorrow. I'm determined to at least get her name.

[Anonymous No.11771303]

>>11771166
And how much is that?

[Anonymous No.11771305]

>>11771028
I truly believe that a synthesis between Max Stirner and Martin Heidegger would truly enlighten the world of both the "creative nothing" and "Dasein" as a singular concept with an expansive essence that is found in all individuals.

Also:

Although my own form is bound to the same worldly fate to become taken by Das Nichts, I shall continue on regardless of how tight fates vice is on my own life. I am alive at this moment and I will proclaim my struggle to the world and all its ill begotten vermin like me!

[Anonymous No.11771311]

>>11771305
>Max Stirner

[Anonymous No.11771319]

I think I made a mistake majoring in philosophy (for you non-amerimutts, a philosophy/polysci degree is what you need to get into law school). I knew before that American universities skewed heavily towards the analytic tradition, but I didn't know it was to this degree. For example, there is only one class this semester that tackled one of the continental traditions (existentialism) and that's it. The rest of the classes are just exercises in logical atomism and doing the typical analytic thing of trying to "turn philosophy into a science".

I might just switch to history since it's already my minor and the classes aren't concerned with bullshit debates about time and skepticism that were settled by Kant 200 years ago.

[Anonymous No.11771333]

Not even a wehraboo but this gave me some feels.

[Anonymous No.11771352]

The quiet of an empty library is particular I think. There is almost a vibrance to it, it is a weighted silence. The meditating bookshelves, the placid greenness of the carpet, the humming air vent, they are a heavy palm on the back of one's head; it plunges into the stillness.

[Anonymous No.11771354]

I haven't interacted with a person that wasn't my mom or dad for 4 months now. Especially online, there's two years that i don't directly engage with another person in a chat or something. I remember, as a kid, making friends on the internet was so easy, even though i was always a loner in real life. My only 'friend' from college has moved on and i'm truly a ghost now. None of my professors or colleagues remember my name or my appearance, i was just a blur walking through streets and classes, ocasionally materializing to give some information about an exam. I can only feel apathy at this. I really believe i gave up on life, i just mindlessly exist and each day it seems that i engage with reality less and less until life becomes a dream and i lose all control. Is there any books for this feel? People giving up on life and just existing, passively waiting for death?

[Anonymous No.11771355]

>>11771311
Why do you equate stirner with 'edgy'ness?

[Anonymous No.11771361]

Why the fuck do europeans get so pissed when an american doesnt know the capital of like Hungary or something?

[Anonymous No.11771371]

>>11771361
based american anti intellectualism

[Anonymous No.11771377]

>>11771371
>knowing the name of a place that has no impact on one's own existence is intellectualism

[Anonymous No.11771389]

>>11771377
>no impact
>part of one of the most important empires which for centuries shaped european history

also,
>he isn't well read enough to have a solid understanding of the general history of each european country
based mutts

[Anonymous No.11771404]

Philosophy can apply at a personal level without having to work on a larger societal scale.

[Anonymous No.11771417]

>girl is vaguely nice to you
>think about her for the rest of the day

[Anonymous No.11771418]

>>11771404

[Anonymous No.11771426]

>>11771389
>mutt
Say that to my face not online and see what happens

[Anonymous No.11771429]

>>11771028
>Write what's on your mind
But anon, you see, if I did that...it would be seen as pretty gay (pic related)

[Anonymous No.11771455]

>>11771028
I feel like there are two versions of myself and that they are in a direct conflict that must come to a resolution. The first is the me that lives every day and offers the same responses towards my family and friends. It's easy to be this person and people would say it's normal to relax after work, to play games with my friends, to sit and chat with my family and approach realistic problems in my life with a very grounded and human response. When I'm alone or reading though I know that I should be doing more, that I could do more, and when I am this me I feel like heroic figures in history are my equals and I am not afraid or reverent of the great things they have done because I believe I could do better. It's like I can see this second me in hundreds of different timelines doing many different creative things and that the creative activity is less important than the solid unifying trait between them and me, which is integrity of character.

I am not living up to my own worth right now and when I die, whenever I die, I feel like I'll stand before Michael the Archangel silhouetted in his brilliant light. I know that he will not judge me for he loves me but my soul will instead be judged by my own conscience and that I'll judge whether I am worthy of Michael's love. I would fail right now.

I require violent change in my own life. I have to let go of all of my friends and separate myself from normal living and no one will understand.

[Anonymous No.11771490]

>>11771072
which game?

[Anonymous No.11771495]

>>11771426
psh, your donne kiddo

[Anonymous No.11771690]

The religious idea of "original sin" is incredibly profound. We are all gutter -dwelling garbage who must be reminded of this for the sake of posterity.

[Anonymous No.11771695]

>>11771303
Just enough, dude.

[Anonymous No.11771706]

A harlot ruined my reputation. I've got little else to do now. The suffering has made me stronger but the doors are closed to me.

[Anonymous No.11771713]

>>11771072
It had better be something patrician like poke Abby and not some shitware 3d socialite game

Just kidding, quit PMO.

[Anonymous No.11771717]

>>11771355
Because of how widespread Stirner profile pics are. The people who do that shit are literal p-zombie children.

[Anonymous No.11771724]

>>11771706
You let her ruin your reputation. Should've unironically renounced the flesh, anon.

[Anonymous No.11771727]

>>11771724
I grew up ignorant. I was molded to make woman my God. But as it is, I only learned from my suffering when I put the blame on myself.

[Anonymous No.11771731]

I've started messaging this girl from high school who I had no interest in since she was quite homely.
However, since then, I've had many encounters with women who I've tried to be romantically involved and they all paled in comparison to her talents. She was much better than me or anyone else at band, and she still continues with that and other fine arts production. All other women I've met with were seemingly very shallow and had no real interests or hobbies they pursued as much as she has.
Since our time in high school, she has matured graciously. She used to be very skinny and somewhat alien looking, but since aging to her mid 20's she's become more "full" to put it shortly, even though she is still quite lean.
Maybe it's my libido talking from not having watched porn or masturbated for over a month, but I know she was one of the only girls that showed interest in me before I did for her, and seemingly only me.
I've decided I'll wait until she comes back to my state to visit later this year before I try to get intimate with women, since I've only had her on my mind, but it hasn't stopped me flirting a bit just to practice with her.

tldr gibe pusi pls

[Anonymous No.11771736]

>>11771455
>I require violent change in my own life. I have to let go of all of my friends and separate myself from normal living and no one will understand.

How will you do it?

[Anonymous No.11771747]

>>11771690
The evolutionary base of humans is sufficient for this purpose (we're simply a continuation of the cycle of evolution with imperfect minds for societies which must be continuously corrected) and scientifically supported. If you believe that you have done wrong, your effectiveness will diminish and this will likely cause more wrongs to be accidentally caused directly or indirectly.
>>11771706
closed doors allow for a new selection to be made

[Anonymous No.11771757]

>>11771429
THIS. I really fucking like boys. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. They are definitely my muse like any self-respecting writer I'm at least >=50% faggot.

[Anonymous No.11771773]

trying to find some good poetry

[Anonymous No.11771785]

>>11771161
I felt like that around the same age. Then I realized, if I wanted to die anyway, nothing really matters, so I might as well go do something and not give a fuck.

Stop sitting around waiting to be saved. Being passive really is what drives depression. Nothing of what you think is wrong with you matters at all.

[Anonymous No.11771791]

>>11771773
Can you be more specific? What do you already like?

[Anonymous No.11771797]

>>11771161
>I don't have the courage to kill myself
There is no courage in this ultimate end. You must feel a growing will to contribute, not for anyone else, but for yourself. Set a goal. Do something against your grain just to prove you can. Write a journal, quit drugs, read more, run, anything you would consider "productive" in your eyes. Leave your self as a ghost so you can look back as if it was a place you are advancing from and can never go back, and remember it. Leave all things you know of no necessity, and change as much as possible for the better.

[Anonymous No.11771804]

>>11771791
i like anything but at the moment i'm not looking for pessimism or people who swear for shock value. i'd like the subjects to be as far away from the down-to-earth "in the reflection of the teapot you could see shit in the toilet" type. i'm talking magical but definitely not fantasy.

[Anonymous No.11771806]

>>11771028
9/11 was a justified attack against a global power which cannot be harmed in any other way that through terrorism

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B0DYyBRoK8

[Anonymous No.11771811]

why is /lit/ full of sadbois?

[Anonymous No.11771818]

>>11771747
I think you're right, anon. I just have to be patient and listen.

[Anonymous No.11771843]

>>11771747
>If you believe that you have done wrong, your effectiveness will diminish and this will likely cause more wrongs to be accidentally caused directly or indirectly.
Doubt is the precursor to change. Original sin is not necessarily the belief that one has done wrong but rather that man as a whole has. His evolution/separation from apes (which I know contradicts creationism) becomes distinct if you just go to a zoo and see primates act. We've straightened our backs to look above them, abstained, conceptualized all sins as "the primal nature of man that must be put to scrutiny" and it's been progressing us so far as I can tell.

[Anonymous No.11771880]

>>11771804
Okay, I misread that at first thinking you actually wanted someone who swore for shock value, and then I had no idea how that went with the second part. Now I think I can work with this.

Have you read many old ballads? There are some good ones by the major Romantic poets, like "La Belle Dame Sans Merci" by John Keats, "The Erl-King" (or Elf-King) by Goethe, "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" by Coleridge (for a longer one), but one of my favorites is "Glenfinlas" by Sir Walter Scott, which is a little more obscure. It's basically an atmospheric ghost story with some shocking moments.

Another good one with a gothic atmosphere and a medieval setting is "The Eve of St. Agnes" by John Keats. It's not really a ballad but it tells a similar sort of story with a lot of lyrical flourishes.

[Anonymous No.11771910]

What's a humane way to kill a mouse?
I caught one in a sticky trap. Frankly, I pity the unimaginable agony its tiny consciousness must be experiencing. It has defecated and part of its face is stuck to the trap.

I have a hammer and I'm considering putting it in a plastic bag and crushing its skull in one swift stroke. However, if I put it in a bag I won't be able to make out its skull. I don't want to splatter its brains all over the place.

I also don't know how I feel about drowning it or suffocating it, or simply leaving it out to die.

[Anonymous No.11771918]

After 3 years of meandering around in college I finally found what I want to do.
Of course I found this out after I had chosen my classes for this semester so I'm stuck doing a class that doesn't apply at all to my major, but oh well. Feels good to finally have that feeling of wanting to do something. Whether I'll get there or not I don't know, but the feeling is nice

[Anonymous No.11771926]

>>11771910
Quick beheading with a butcher knife. Hammer would be the next best.

[Anonymous No.11771927]

>>11771910
your best bet is massive and fatal physical trauma in as short as time as possible

[Anonymous No.11771933]

>>11771926
A blade would draw blood. I don't know how much mice bleed. It's not like I have some wet room where I can conduct animal euthanasia. It would get on my floor.

>>11771927
That's why I thought of the hammer idea. I'm honestly thinking about giving it the old foot stomp. The old Foot of Gork if you happen to be a warhammer fan.

[Anonymous No.11771939]

>>11771933
>The Shaman implores the sky with wild gesticulations. The almighty green foot of the Orc god descends to crush the foe!

[Anonymous No.11771950]

>>11771910
please, anon, consider releasing it alive. a wooded area or something. All sentient creatures deserve compassion.

[Anonymous No.11771951]

>>11771933
if you dont have the guts to do it throw the thing outside and give a crow a meal

[Anonymous No.11771955]

>>11771950
We are trying to deduce that compassion in this situation is euthanasia. A whole side of his face is stuck, and mice have much more hair than humans. Imagine how he would struggle against it slowly and painfully, ripping only bits at a time. Maybe he would get out and live a life as that ugly mouse that would never get mouse pussy, and he would end up just dying anyway.

Compare that to near instant death of a hammer. That's more compassionate to me.

[Anonymous No.11771961]

I know they're an English major for some reason I can't remember and I swear I saw them post on another board like almost 5 years ago and I'm being a massive drain, like a black hole that's disguising intention with abstraction and intention fueled by something which has far too much of a foothold in my psyche, something which is said to be said and not shouted, nobody is shouting here this is me talking in my head right now nobody can hear me speaking right now hello Hello? Is this fascinating? Or is it grating? Or, degrading. I stopped letting that stop me since them, but it still stops me all the same no matter which way I turn or choose. All I did was make somebody confused and I equally became corrupted in some way because of them. Talking in my ear I'm telling myself this I'm telling myself this as I type this I still need to read Ulysses

[Anonymous No.11771966]

>>11771955
perhaps the glue could be removed with rubbing alcohol or some other solvent.
That the rat will inevitably die a brutal death out somewhere in nature is very likely in any case. That doesn't excuse any one of us from doing our very best to be compassionate.

[Anonymous No.11771969]

>>11771961
>fueled by something
op is about writing what's on your mind not setting up a mystery novel for us to figure out based on a single post. tell us what it is or don't bother

[Anonymous No.11771975]

>>11771961
>I still need to read Ulysses
I haven't read it either, but someone quoted the ending line and it resonated with me vividly like a reflection of something somewhere else outside of earth and this guy today told me I could leave work and never come back so I did and now I'm here talking or typing click clackin on mechanical buttons waking them all but I don't care I'll find purpose beyond this and go about living breathing out but mostly in and away to Spain and learn more about my past and dance my feet down up the mountains to the virgin Mary and breed those chickens to feed us and them for a cycle I keep forgetting to eat its skinny but not unthinkable it turns but listens the sound churns and fiddles where are my chips Matt give them back you fat fuck
But yea it seems like a good book.

[Anonymous No.11771981]

>>11771969
gay high school boner from in high school wasn't reciprocated
I'm posting this somewhat convinced that my world is as ridiculously small as I'm convinced it is and will get seen as if one poster's circumstances in a post on another board 5 years ago is enough reason to ponder the possibility this person is seeing these posts, and I'm posting them still right now this second for some reason even though I know it's stupid as fuck and I'm fucking stoned as balls to you like my big words

[Anonymous No.11771984]

>>11771975
fucking kek is writing like this an actual thing with a name

[Anonymous No.11771986]

>>11771984
That post was my broad interpretation of Ulysses and it's stream of consciousness style, and I assume that's what the first poster was going for.

[Anonymous No.11771994]

my dad and his friend were talking about college, and they kept bringing up that some people waste years at college before settling on a major. I said that no one knows for sure if that time was wasted, and that the final decision is undoubtedly affected by all that time "wasted". The dude looked at me like I was a complete dumbass and literally laughed in my face. I get its sort of a nonsense sentiment, and I understand his mentality of supporting your family with minimal cost but yeesh. Its like the guy didn't have a string of youth in him. I hope I don't end up like that.

[Anonymous No.11771996]

>>11771028
Having a hard time with waking up early.
I just want oblivion.

[Anonymous No.11771998]

>>11771994
I do know what you mean though I hate it when people do that shit

[Anonymous No.11772001]

I just need something to cuddle.

[Anonymous No.11772033]

>>11772001
I would cuddle you if I could anon.
The world has forgotten the gift of the cuddle, and so many go without it.

[Anonymous No.11772039]

>>11772001
there'll be some decent sex-bots by 2030

[Anonymous No.11772062]

>>11771950
>>11771966
I like you anon, you sound cute. Maybe somewhat naive, but still a very wholesome person. God bless you.

[Anonymous No.11772070]

>>11772062
>I like you anon, you sound cute

What is he to you, your boyfriend?

[Anonymous No.11772072]

>>11771727
What happened anon? Tell us more.

[Anonymous No.11772074]

there are so many books i want to read but im sitting here on /lit/ instead of reading because im a fucking worthless troglodyte

[Anonymous No.11772079]

>>11772074
The easy way to fix that is to get off /lit/ and pick up a book, dummy.

You can do it, anon.

[Anonymous No.11772312]

I don’t understand how Eminem can’t be admired for his craftsmanship. At his best he can be both hilarious and dramatic. How many contemporary poets can make me go more than ‘eh’ if they get me to read/listen to the whole thing to begin with. Tupac as well. Perhaps they’re somewhat overlooked for being ‘Rappers’, considered, ostensibly, a form of ‘low’ art (I imagine, I don’t exactly have a hotline into pop culture’s brain). The whole of of pop culture, seems to me, to be low art. Hell, even art forms usually considered ‘high’ have their trashy incarnations. But great art can come from ‘low’ culture (see every actually good anime to ever be made).
I think the problem, part of it, is that everyone tries to have the ‘correct’ (do I even need to put that in quotations?) political/ethical sympathies. It should be obvious why that’s not good, but Oscar Wilde still had to spell it out for everybody.
It’s boring. When you reduce real people to nothing more than their group identities, how in the world can you expect to write good characters? It doesn’t help that anybody who might want to be creative also tends to lean left through some weird coincidence of personality.
I feel like too many people have got caught up, either explicitly or implicitly, on the conceptualization of art as ‘expression’ whatever that is. Sometimes things are beautiful and you fucking take it all the way to the cultural bank. People seem to have forgotten that there are things that can be understood but not explained, explained, but not understood, and those pearls that are neither speakable nor fathomable, but can be alluded to. The domain of poetry, and more widely art is not confined to the expressible, only analytical philosophers are exclusively bound to that domain. The greatest art is that which can neither be fathomed nor explained, only experienced.
We’re the same as those traditionalists that carry on traditions without remembering their significance or meaning giving no rationalization beyond ‘this is how we’ve always done it’. We’ve forgotten why and how true art is made and instead we’ve been descending into the nihilistic, existential pit of a creative landscape that rewards literal shit and rotting corpses fed to pigs. Thanks Brick Top.

[Anonymous No.11772320]

So many timelines, and to think I only die in ONE

[Anonymous No.11772344]

>>11772312
Imo, modern day eminem has lost his "musicality" as an artist. Sure he's still the best when it comes to technical skill. But technical skill and aggression can only take an artist so far.

I think as he got older and started making pop-rap he lost his edge and sense of social rebellion. This is normal for most artists as they age, but eminem still raps like he's a smack addict despised by the mainstream when he's widely accepted in the mainstream. Instead of maturing his artistic vision, he still makes music for white teenagers who play call of duty and drink mountain dew. He's not saying or doing anything artistically interesting.

[Anonymous No.11772347]

>>11771028
If you really want to sneak into a person's life that you know peripherally; dont go to their facebook page, find their youtube account

[Anonymous No.11772553]

I want to drop out of uni.I haven;t told my parents yet,but i know they will be very disappointed in me i lied to them a lot about uni and i feel really ashamed.
I just can't take the stress any more.Either i kill my self in the following days or i man up and tell them the truth but i JUST CAN'T FUCKING DO IT.Please help me bros tell me what to do,i have nobody to talk to about this

[Anonymous No.11772567]

why are people so fucking loud for no reason

>hurr im having a conversation but let me just SCREAM AS LOUD AS I CAN SO I MAKE SURE EVERYONE AROUND ME CAN HEAR IT
>I SURE DO LOVE PLAYING MUSIC SO LOUD EVERYONE CAN HEAR IT EVEN THOUGH IM WEARING HEADPHONES

[Anonymous No.11772622]

>>11771028
I want to go back to school. It was a mistake getting a "good" degree. I just want to study and research. But now I'm married and starting a family so to go back would mean to put under strain on everyone just to follow a dream. It would be such a huge financial drain, plus the risk of not even getting a job offer once I finish. But every day I go into my office and just hold my head because I feel my soul and passions draining away

[Anonymous No.11772629]

>>11771267
No, I'm male.
>tfw all the other responses are generic ig'nant shit from people who don't understand suicidal ideation
Go fucking figure.

[Anonymous No.11772700]

>>11771166
You're putting in the work. Good for you. Don't let your dreams be memes

[Anonymous No.11772754]

>>11771797
Unironically this. Worked for me.

[Anonymous No.11772769]

>tfw too poor to afford books

[Anonymous No.11772780]

>>11772769
what is libgen

[Anonymous No.11772784]

>>11772769
books are free now tho.
>but muh physical copies
go to the library or suck it up poorfag

[Anonymous No.11772801]

I'm bored of this life. I have dreams. Some of them are girls, others are unfulfilled projects. I am a potent man, impossible to ignore, but the pieces just never fall into place. Instead of making something real happen, I look at photos on my laptop. Photos of girls I have known. I message those girls sometimes. They're more than happy to return a message.
But they're not the same. A few items about their life, their sorority, and then they disappear back into their lives.
I do not want to disappear back into my life. I have spent too much time hiding.
I get the idea for a project sometimes. It develops. I sleep on it. I come up with theories about it. I romanticize myself in it. I don't know that it is all pretend. I come up with pages. I think this is the one. I get feedback. I get the words back "interesting," in red ink. At 10 or 20 pages, it burns out, because a little praise is all I need to short circuit a story. The dream disappears into the Work in Progress folder.
I don't want to disappear into a Work in Progress folder. I have spent too much time hiding for that.

[Anonymous No.11772849]

Mau

[Anonymous No.11773203]

>>11772347
Why do you want to drop out of uni kid? It might actually be the right decision in which case you can talk them round.

[Anonymous No.11773206]

>>11773203

is meant for

>>11772553

[Anonymous No.11773213]

>>11771028
I never felt such angst and hopelessness.
Everything is just pathetic and unacceptable to me.
Help me.

[Anonymous No.11773231]

>>11773213
Angst, hopelessness, shame perhaps. Signs that you know something is wrong. Can you blame anyone? Or is it you? Or is it too hard to admit? Or did you not speak out early enough? Or are you stuck? Did you lose your will? Where did it go? Get it back. It's literally right there. Pick it up. Find an idea you've been fondling with no action, and grasp it, shake it, do something REAL about it and stop procrastinating. Just go.

[Anonymous No.11773245]

I feel good, and that scares me. It's like the calm before the storm, when it's all quiet before everything comes crashing around me like a well timed punchline

[Anonymous No.11773265]

>>11773245
I knew a guy in high school that thought like this all the time. It's a weird way to think. You have accepted that in the future you will remember this peak of happiness and relate it to some tragedy that just happened, and that you will be laughed at for it. Maybe you will, I don't know. Imagining what could go wrong is the first step to preventing it, so just act on those doubts until there is no reasonable cause for failure, and remember failures as learning experiences rather than Gods playing with you like a doll in a playhouse cause thats just boring lmao

[Anonymous No.11773378]

I went to the city library to work today and it was really comy desu. I sat up on a small floor with some work spaces overlooking a bunch of reference books, there was only one other guy there reading. I felt a lot more motivated to get stuff done and made some good progress on editing my novel and studying maths. Then I just sat and read for an hour before going home.

I think this will be part of my routine for now, I accomplished more in a few hours than I usually do in a whole day. I attribute it to the lack of distractions and the scholarly environment in general.

[Anonymous No.11773403]

>>11773378
I can still this wasn't an American library because you weren't surrounded by unsupervised children and shifty homeless bums with nowhere else to go. Also because you said maths.

[Anonymous No.11773425]

I have never been happy. Since 14 years old I wake thinking about suicide, at the middle of my day I think about how worthless I am, and by night I go to bed thinking the cycle is repeating tomorrow. Almost twenty years later, I understand what Kafka meant to say when he wrote metamorphosis, and what is the real meaning behind turning into a parasite without realising.

[Anonymous No.11773501]

I hate literature. Normies yell constantly, making constant noise to the point it is impossible to even think clearly, nevertheless read a bunch of pages. Literature requires constant attention. I don't understand it. I don't get how everyone else can't get distracted. I wish I could escape.

[Anonymous No.11773513]

>>11773501
Stop reading books in public then. You can just read in your room

[Anonymous No.11773521]

>>11771333
Damn, society destroys sensitive young men and turns them into hitlers

[Anonymous No.11773533]

>>11773501
>>11773513
Or get some noise cancelling earbuds, listen to classical or white noise or nothing.

[Anonymous No.11773539]

>>11773513
Except that even in my room, it is too much. I hear cars passing by my window. I hear footsteps above me. I hear voices outside. Everything distracts me.

[Anonymous No.11773544]

>>11773533
Problem is that noise distracts me from reading as well. None of it is something that allows me to focus.

[Anonymous No.11773551]

>>11773539
But that's not normies fault, you have an attention deficit.

[Anonymous No.11773557]

>>11773551
It just is depressing. Attention deficit and autism combined makes it so I can't enjoy much in this world.

[Anonymous No.11773562]

>>11771417
fuck this is me

[Anonymous No.11773564]

>>11773557
I have the same problem, anon. Just wait until something traumatic happens, you would stop hearing outside noises, and the voices in your head will be the ones messing with you. Before that, I suggest you to invest in some cancelling earbuds.

[Anonymous No.11773584]

>>11773564
Problem with noise-cancelling earbuds is that I still can hear around them usually. Plus, you are right, even in silence it is hard to think because your mind wavers and starts tormenting you.

[Anonymous No.11773600]

>>11773584
Maybe listen to audiobooks then. It seems like your main attention focus is through hearing rather than reading. Maybe do both as an exercise in concentration.

[Anonymous No.11773607]

Update on the mouse euthanasia ordeal.
>>11771950
>>11771961
>>11771966
I ended up placing it in a bag and gave it the boot of death. It was squeaking wildly until my first stomp which I really leaned into. Im a big 200lb with legs of steel so all it took was one stomp in my boots.

I didn't hear any more squeeks after that so I'm assuming our poor little pest is in mouse valhalla now in the big cheese pinwheel in the sky

[Anonymous No.11773640]

>>11773607
Thanks for the update, I was
>>11771926 and
>>11771955
You've done well, there is no shame in putting the suffering mouse to ease.

[Anonymous No.11773658]

>>11773607
>not staring at its eyes as a way of acknowleding mousy was once a sentient creature.

[Anonymous No.11773673]

>>11773600
Perhaps, I just have comprehension problems with hearing...

[Anonymous No.11773772]

>>11771918
Godspeed anon

[Anonymous No.11773804]

There is no such thing as a forced meme. Every meme is proliferated through the efforts of a person or people. Forced memes are literally only memes that you don't like.

[Anonymous No.11773824]

>>11771918
What do you want to do?

[Anonymous No.11773836]

>>11771736
I don't know. I meant violent in the sense of an abrasive and uncomfortable transformation in the same way that chemicals can combine to create a volatile reaction. Volatile specifically to the environment and habitual activities that allow the first me to easily exist, and make it difficult for the second me to exist.

[Anonymous No.11773838]

It's all so tiresome. Every website these days is just propaganda on propaganda. People desperately trying to capture your attention and control your mind for their own incredibly boring and worthless aims. But I have no good social life so I can't just leave the Internet. Fuck me.

[Anonymous No.11773844]

>>11773838
dude just go outside

[Anonymous No.11773845]

>>11773836
I know that that was what you meant. Suffering of a sort, going through a fire etc etc

[Anonymous No.11773852]

>>11773836
>>11773845

Maybe you should figure out eh second you and start acting like him to the first you's environment. Just a thought anyway

[Anonymous No.11773869]

>>11773838
Propoganda implies there is a huge agenda a lot of people are in on.
Yes, there are people who have dedicated their lives to dying mediums and are trying desperately to cling to ideals that are losing their ground. Yes, people try to capture attention through these mediums to continue their attraction to it. Yes, everyone is in someway trying to control other's because they believe they know best. But get down to it and start questioning it, otherwise maybe they are right.

[Anonymous No.11773949]

>>11771426
I feel like your face would speak for itself if we met irl

[Anonymous No.11774105]

i find real life girls just so disgusting, their bodies and personalities are all completely revolting
i am literally only attracted to 2D girls, am i alone on this?

[Anonymous No.11774118]

>>11774105
I don't share your autism but I think you could unironically argue that 2d girls are the platonic ideal of the masculine conception of women

[Anonymous No.11774125]

>>11771028
I'm a successful business and home owner with lots of friends and hobbies. Have a graduate degree. I feel like life is just hopping from one island of depression to another across bridges of "neutral feelings" and I can count the times I think I've felt actually happy in my life on one hand.

Idk what else to say really. I get up and do stuff every day but I don't see a point in literally anything. It's all done just for the sake of doing it and nothing else.

[Anonymous No.11774126]

>>11774105
i think girls actually have the same thing in a way, they are maximally attracted to like the Werewolf in Twilight or something.

I dont watch anime so idk about 2d girls, but a fantasy of perfection will always be better than what exists irl

[Anonymous No.11774146]

>>11774125
>Do things you don't want to do
>Complain
I think I've cornered your problem for you m8; youre welcome

[Anonymous No.11774150]

Fuck you mom, being that mean doesn't help me.

[Anonymous No.11774151]

>>11773824
Work for the Department of State

[Anonymous No.11774153]

>>11774151
the US state department? those people are soulless ghouls

[Anonymous No.11774164]

>>11771311
>>11771355
>>11771333
>>11771377
>>11771455
>>11771811
>>11771933
>>11771955
>>11771966
>>11772033
>>11772344
>>11772622
>>11773533
>>11773544
>>11773600

So, /lit/ doesn't care about repeating digits, huh?

[Anonymous No.11774166]

>>11774153
I'll fit right in

[Anonymous No.11774222]

>>11774105
2D girls don't have a story that isn't imprinted in actual history. They are fiction. You imprint their values without recognizing their stories from the author, if there even was one. You see only the aesthetic of women and your ideal body, rewarding yourself from nothing. Women have a simpler psychology then you believe.

[Anonymous No.11774231]

Little girls are kinda erotic.

[Anonymous No.11774304]

>>11771028
It seems like everybody around me is on anti-depressants or mood stabilisers, going along with their lives although nothing is the matter even though they've resorted to taking/being prescribed anti-depressants in the first place.

It also seems like this is becoming the norm, rather than addressing what it is that is causing everyone to feel so low in the first place and this is something that I can't get my head around.

What is happening?

[Anonymous No.11774310]

>>11774304
we evolved to live in little tribes not whatever the fuck this shit is

[Anonymous No.11774327]

>>11774304
People are putting their trust in pharmaceutical companies, without considering that what they can be ingesting is a problem. Any drug that has an immediate effect of relieving depression through some dopamine kick will always kick back, and end up actually causing more damage in the short term if you decide to quit. It's like if ecstasy was legal and prescribed in lower doses.

You're definitely right that people should find root causes, and those causes are usually boiled down to lacking in self worth somehow, lacking purpose. If it takes one pill to get out of a way of thinking, do it, and begin understanding yourself, then kick it as soon as you realize.

[Anonymous No.11774360]

>>11774304
Spaced is really good/comfy.

[Anonymous No.11774385]

>>11771028
I want my father to be alive so much, his death hurts me and I hate it that he died.

[Anonymous No.11774405]

>>11774385
That is Real, anon.

[Anonymous No.11774470]

>>11774405
It happened two months ago, I know people take years to recover from it and I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't talk about it often but I already feel like being a boring burden to everyone around me if I talk about it.
No sad party for me, I don't pity myself it just hurts so much.

[Anonymous No.11774531]

>>11773607
:(
>>11772062
I take naive as a big compliment these days.

[Anonymous No.11774534]

>>11774470
I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds crushing.

I don't mean to be too familiar or tell you what to do. All I can think to do is to suffer it and experience the pain fully so that you can live a better being.

[Anonymous No.11774562]

>>11774310
I think this is a big part of the problem. We're all so spaced out from one another a lot of the time, distances away from friends, family etc and don't realise how being so scattered across a vast distance affects us. It's not necessarily as though anything bad has to happen for depression to take place but the little things that wear you down over time.

>>11774327
>Any drug that has an immediate effect of relieving depression through some dopamine kick will always kick back, and end up actually causing more damage in the short term if you decide to quit.
Always thought the same way, in that they're inherently artificial and any disruption to supply will fuck you over even harder than if you hadn't had them in the first place. This is another layer to the bigger issue for me, seeing how un-real and artificial everything around us seems to be - our 'media', our 'food', our 'standard of living' all driven by bubbles - and that absolutely no-one seems concerned by it. How we could all be marching towards an imment collapse and have absolutely no idea that the curtain is not about to fall, but has already fallen.

[Anonymous No.11774603]

>>11774534
Thank you, and you don't, you're fine.
Also I think that's the best the way to deal with it, one day it will hurt less.
Thank you anon.

[Anonymous No.11774696]

>>11771333

[Anonymous No.11774720]

>>11774164
I care only about repeaating digits

[Anonymous No.11774758]

I was in Vegas last night with my brother. We both got pretty drunk and ubered to a random strip club. At the place we got changed $75 each for a cover charge, walked in and were the only guys in the joint. It was dead empty and quiet. So as soon as we walked in two strippers came up to us and took us both in a back room. There we straight up got offered sex for $300 for 30 mins. Once we both realized what was happening we bailed. Still unsatisfied, we went to a different strip club and the exact same thing happened. $50 cover charge each, walking in and no dudes just strippers. We got agressively flooded with attention, they took us to the back room and offered "full contact" for $200. We left that place too and just went back to the hotel and went to bed.

Neither of us had ever done anything like Vegas before and that experience left both of us in a really disappointed, and violated place of mind. I felt scammed and cheated. All we wanted to do was sit back, and watch a bitch swing on a pole. But instead we got practically assulted.

Still today a full day later, and out of the state, I feel sick to my stomach about it. I know I'll look back at that night as a really dark time in my life. How often does that kind of shit happen? Every day? And it's not like it was an isolated experience because it happened twice! And like they were two of the highest rated strip clubs on Google in Vegas. Truely a horrible experience and I feel like part of my innocence has died.

[Anonymous No.11774769]

>>11774758
why the fuck would that make you feel violated
also why would you ever, ever, pay cover

[Anonymous No.11774785]

>>11774769
We didn't have any idea how it worked. We've never been to Vegas or a strip club at all for that matter.
I felt violated because they were agressively trying to get our money, way too aggressively.

[Anonymous No.11774787]

>>11774758
what exactly are you dissappointed about
how was it connected with your innocence
why does it make you sad?

[Anonymous No.11774805]

>>11774785
Weird. Supply and demand in full effect. There was no one there so they just start getting desperate and assuming you want the real deal for extra dosh. Should've just asked for a lappie and cut the price down.

[Anonymous No.11774808]

>>11774758
>I felt scammed and cheated. All we wanted to do was sit back, and watch a bitch swing on a pole. But instead we got practically assulted.
Spoilers: this is how strip clubs actually work. The girls talk to you and try to get you to get a VIP, where the real money is. The protocol is to politely turn them down if you don't want it. But being the only guys in there is going to be an extreme case.

Also Vegas is like that with the insane door charges if you walk or drive in. They want you to take those limo rides offered to you by hucksters on the strip, for some no doubt sleazy reason. And yeah, sex offers do sometimes happen in stip clubs. Especially in a place like Vegas. This is not super common but it sounds like a dead and desperate night in addition to you being "lucky." But it's also not unlikely they were possibly lying or exaggerating to get you in the backroom with a heavy tip.

[Anonymous No.11774815]

>>11774787
>what exactly are you dissappointed about
The fact that we never got to see any actual strippers strip. The second we walked through the door they took us back and offered sex for money.
>how was it connected with your innocence
My brother and I are both pretty unexperienced, straight shooting type of people and rarely get put into degenerate situations. I felt like they could pick up on that and used our innocence to try and scam us.
>why does it make you sad?
It made me feel used and cheated. That in turn makes me feel sad.

[Anonymous No.11774819]

>>11772769
>ywn buy qt anons all of the books that could ever wish for

[Anonymous No.11774828]

>>11774819
you can buy me books, anon, I'll throw you some pics of my beenis in exchange for Ulysses and The Trial and maybe a romance novel you have in mind. :^)

[Anonymous No.11774839]

>>11774805
>>11774808
Jesus maybe we are just a couple of gomers off of the farm. Since both of you are saying it's pretty standard practice. I'm just glad that me in a completely intoxicated state, didn't agree to it. There's the silver lining I guess. Could of been worse.

In the end the only thing wounded was my pride and my wallet.

[Anonymous No.11774844]

>>11771333
he really was /ourguy/

[Anonymous No.11774852]

When it comes to the acquisition of social tendencies, one could use the metaphor of a hand. All one would need to do is close their hand to grasp whatever is in their reach. It's only the though process behind the activity that eludes me. Today I had seen the most innocent looking girl. I had seen her a couple of times prior but never long enough to strike up a conversation. It was only until today I was going to lunch and I see her walk into the line behind me. Yet I didn't talk to her, Why? Was it the fear of judgement? Or maybe just not knowing what to say? Have I not yet learned to strip vanity away from objects? I do not know, what I do know is that I need to learn to grasp whatever is in my reach.

[Anonymous No.11774876]

>>11774852
you probably aren't attractive enough to talk to her

[Anonymous No.11774881]

I don't know how to grade the work. What's a good paragraph? A bad one? I can establish qualities, but they're mine. They will need to write other paragraphs for other situations. The only solution is to give them patterns to copy. I work alongside well-meaning but true and unabashed idiots - our unit on writing resumes has already been sabotaged by one who thinks the templates available online are good enough.

I teach English but I watch it erode and evaporate. These kids read like pigs rooting for truffles. Engage them in a deeper discussion and they go back to the mud. Close reading, God what nonsense. They make the math teachers do it too. Close reading mathematics.

Why read Shakespeare? Why read novels? Why read? Just give them excerpts and truffles and shoo them on. I might commit suicide in class, just to make a real impact. Late work piling up, kids too lazy to give a real attempt. Afraid to turn it in without a truffle. So useless.

Need a writing class and a philosophy class. Need grammar and short response practice.

[Anonymous No.11774889]

>>11774852
what >>11774876 said
do not talk to her, do not think about what you might talk to her about, leave her as a regret forever, there is no POSSIBLE way to over come this, it's not just like you can talk about random bullshit to her right, and see what she says, and actually know what she might think about you, no way. do nothing except mull on it forever.
never go out of this comfort zone.

[Anonymous No.11774913]

>>11774852
i never have an interest in talking to people i dont know. very rarely, like maybe 5 times in total, a girl has approached me and wanted to talk about something, and it is nice but I still have no desire to talk to them because i dont know them. They werent sure what to say either, they just complimented somethign i was wearing and acted nervous. I understand it took courage for them to do so, but i just dont really have anything to say. It snot a hostile feeling just a feeling of detachment

the exception is drunken conversation with people in bars, which is fun. These people though, if i ever befriend one or it looks like a romantic thing is happening, i dont like it do develop quickly. A few times we have had sex that very night and it made me feel extremely sad and uncean. If we wait even just for like 4 encounters or so, then it feels better but even then i dont like it.

my first gf and i didnt have sex for like an entire month when we started dating, and we had been like sort of 'courting' each other for months before that. She forced the point about having sex, and it still felt too early for me. Once we became comfortable about it it was better though.

this is really gay but i see relationships between people as like being pieces of music, someone i dont know, there is no music, and someone i am beginning to know, we are in the early stages of the piece, our voices are just begining to harmonize in various ways, the themes havent even been developed yet let alone concluded, and having sex right away is like putting some very momentous moment in the 3rd movement incongruously into the opening bars.

For some reason i dont see 4chan like this. Its like we all know each other already even though we in reality do not.

[Anonymous No.11774957]

>>11774913
I like the way you think brother. You obviously have some more meaning to relations than most. I'm a virgin still, and I used to hold contempt for it, as if it were someone's fault beyond my own. But now I don't care. I've been to bars, I've seen older women at bars flash their tits and basically throw themselves at me, and I've denied them. I don't know when I came to this train of thought, some day I just thought "I'd want my first time to be somewhat meaningful." and I just built myself up from there.
Since then I've had much easier times talking to people, knowing what I want, how to communicate it to others.
I think you're on the right path.
I sound like a Christian and I've never read the Bible, don't plan on it until I'm on my deathbed. Maybe we are just gay lmao

[Anonymous No.11774975]

>>11773203
Because I don't fucking like it anymore.I came here because I didn't know where to go after highschool and it was a lot a pressure on me to go to uni.I have a job now and I just wanna work for a year or so and figure myself out and find out what I want to do with my life

[Anonymous No.11774980]

>>11774957
>Maybe we are just gay lmao
could be that dude. We are not hyper masculine guys who just want to fuck around. I mean some humans are more monogamous than others, this is clearly observable. I don't think guys who sleep around like that are bad or anything, they just have a different way of experiencing things.

Im not a christian either. I dont know what i even think about any of that, it's too arbitrary and there's no way to ever make sense of it all. For my own mental stability i have to kind of stay away from it.

Our culture is quite sexualized so people think about this stuff a lot I suppose. I think having children is an important thing for most people, but other than that I don't think it's that big of a deal. Good to hear also that you dont feel distressed about that, seems like more and more guys are getting obsessed about this subject.

[Anonymous No.11774991]

Gone from NEET to working and i thought i had little time to pursue my interests while NEET, but boy did i not know.

No wonder people have to specialise so much. There is no fucking time to do anything even if you're only focused on a few things you have to cut down to the bare minimum.

[Anonymous No.11775001]

>>11774828
Sounds like an offer I can't refuse.

[Anonymous No.11775011]

>>11774991
Working into art professions is the only real way to go about not "specializing" as it almost requires a perspective of as many things as possible to elicit a positive response.
The renaissance man has died in place of all these stem fields that require strict regimens for one place on a conveyor belt of labor, because there are others that can do everything else. It's still worth attempting to pursue other interests in your free time, you will make broad relations to your work and vice versa, or atleast with your coworkers.

[Anonymous No.11775085]

>>11774889
>>11774913
But isn't breaking out of your comfort zone what you are supposed to do? I have free will to conform my own destiny so why don't I? Mulling around forever and only taking action when something hits me would get me nowhere. Better to have tried then not at all correct?

[Anonymous No.11775091]

>>11775085
i was just blogposting m8, go ahead and try it out if you want. Seeing soomebody around repeatedly makes like a small awareness of each other.

if you arent sure how to approach her, imagine how someone would approach you and how you would like them to act i guess, and then mediate that with the fact that girls are different

[Anonymous No.11775128]

>>11774980
Yea, that kind of ideology can stain the mind for worse, even with good intentions. I'll just leave myself to learn the meaningful bits through osmosis as I have been.
But the thing about guys who sleep around sort of bothers me, if only for this one person I know. He's bisexual and would not stop flirting with everyone he sees, he holds some crazy attachment to all his exes like they're still his, he even hit on me and said if I was still curious that he was there for me. He's also an alcoholic. It seems like he doesn't know what he wants at all, and he's just putting himself out there as a validation for himself, constantly. He was telling me to start flirting more one day, go mack on some girls and so we went to a store to do that for some reason. When we got there, I said I'd go get a haircut across the parking lot and he sort of winced and said ok. I started taking his advice and talking to my hair cutter about our jobs and some nerd shit, no dead air. So I left, called him to see where he was, and came back to see he was looking through that barbershop window. That girl was his ex I later found out, but he told me then that it was his current girlfriend. The conversation was so fucked up, I can't even really remember it. I could say more about it, but you get the idea, and I don't want to give more information on him. It's like he needs to constantly validate his attractiveness to others in such absurd levels.

[Anonymous No.11775149]

>>11775128
He sounds borderline personality or somethng. I mean it could be a lot of things based on that small description of him.

[Anonymous No.11775154]

>>11775085
Yes man, please don't leave yourself in the dark. I was being completely facetious. Go try, maybe you'll find out she's interested, or you found a good friend, or that she's not that interesting to you. The only way is to talk to her. Put as much effort into what you might talk about as you like.

[Anonymous No.11775191]

How do I get egodeath and be a stoic?

[Anonymous No.11775196]

By far the most surprising thing rejoining society has taught me is that Apple is still fucking EVERYWHERE. I've always thought, yeah, they're a valid alternative to the standard of Windows and a good competitor, maybe even a sort of niche, but they make up easily 75% of the laptops I've seen at my university so far and I'd say >80% is a safe bet as well. What irks me about the brand is that it appears to prioritize accessibility over utility, so that it may run smoothly for general use, but when the gears get jammed or you need to do something obscure, you might be out of luck. Admittedly, the only Mac I've ever spent time with was a big bulky one from the early 2000s, but I found its aesthetic really charming back then and enjoyed the experience a lot. Perhaps it was a result of the art direction (which is way superior to the current one), I'm not sure, though I don't remember feeling handicapped or limited using it back then. It's watching them now where that feeling comes from, where it looks like Google Chrome and how it is very blatantly simplifying things by stripping out some features altogether.

But perhaps I'm biased, and it's a very wonderful and intuitive system that you cannot take in at a glance. If it were like that old desktop, I might even buy one. It's just that thinness, that short unsatisfying keyboard with a gratuitous amount of space between each key, and that touchpad which looks like a miserable experience each time you must use it. It has the same visual appeal as those furniture magazines from the dentist's office where everything is all metallic and simple, but the overall composure of it together looks ugly, like you'd see some really compressed thumbnail of it on this site and you'd think to yourself it's not even much of a downgrade because it looks like something trying very hard to attract hipsters while lacking any notion of what makes minimalism work. It's stunning how popular the brand is for its style alone when it appears as a prime example to me of what not to do when designing something 'sleek'. Do any of you feel that way as well? Do any of you like macs? I'm curious.

[Anonymous No.11775212]

>>11775149
Psychedelics are probably the quickest way desu. I saw a video from VSauce/Mind Field on Ayahuasca and he said he almost experience it but still held good footing throughout. He went out to some remote island village and took it as part of a ritual.
If you do go along the route of psychedelic drugs, know that it could open pandora's box that can never be closed, you could become a completely difference person, which I guess is the point.
Or just relieve yourself of as many things as possible, just for it's own sake. Live in solidarity, monk lifestyle. Come back to society in a month. That should do the trick too.

[Anonymous No.11775214]

>>11775212
meant for
>>11775191

[Anonymous No.11775241]

>>11775154
I didn't know if you were being truthful or sarcastic anon, but I will try to jump through whatever mental hoops are hindering me from reaching my goal.

[Anonymous No.11775251]

I write cheesy scifi/fantasy/superhero romance fiction. I also read and write high school romance stories and consider Let it Snow one of my favorite books.

[Anonymous No.11775299]

>>11771028
I bought a butt plug today and I really want to use it but my landlord is fixing something in my appear right now so I have to wait till she’s done

[Anonymous No.11775303]

>>11774603
Not him but I will pray for you and your father anon

[Anonymous No.11775307]

>>11771072
Porn games are dope. Check out Breeders of the Nephelym. Honey select is cool too (crazy character customization) but it’s basically just 3D porn, there’s no gameplay to it lol

[Anonymous No.11775330]

>>11771429
I don’t understand the reluctance, fire away, write us something steamy ;)

[Anonymous No.11775344]

Writing is an interesting exercise because approaching it with criteria in mind for the product is more likely to fail in comparison to approaching it with criteria for the one's self. That is to say, performing the role of a writer produces better written works than questioning the ideals of what is being written. This is because writing is the domain of communication, which is neccisarily between people. A performer foremost must bask in the glory of the stage, so a writer must do the same. It is a narcissistic profession, and no one - no matter how well meaning - can abandon that narcissism and still produce well written works. Reality, and one's perception of it, must be driven by full belief in one's self. If doubts enter, they must be part of the performance. Never accept them as true.

[Anonymous No.11775354]

>>11772033
I wish gangsta niggas were actually like your pic related, that’d be hilarious

[Anonymous No.11775362]

>>11775354
They're mostly dumb sociopaths and deeply unpleasant. Some are sort of charismatic

[Anonymous No.11775363]

>>11772553
Take a break from school before deciding to drop out or kys.

[Anonymous No.11775373]

>>11772567
holy fuck I know. I hate it. I love silence, I love hearing ambient noises. I fucking hate that I have to listen to your trite ass monologue, hear your booming bass from a block away, hate that you’re so impulsive that you can’t resist shouting across the street at someone.

[Anonymous No.11775397]

>>11775212

I wish I could live like a monk. Robes seem so comfy desu.

[Anonymous No.11775406]

>>11774758
I’ve fucked “strippers” in the Tijuana “strip clubs” and had a grand old time. Prostitution is only natural and has only recently received this stifling taboo

[Anonymous No.11775408]

>>11771028
i strongly dislike the new gen of 4chan users and find you deeply unfunny, uncreative, boring and parasitical. This is one of the worst boards on the site now.

Unrelated, i really enjoy Cervantes and wish his style was easily picked up but i think its distinctly southern european and unfortunately, because those populations tend towards middling iq, is unlikely to reappear ever again.

Finally, ive decided fats are indeed subhumans and should be treated worse than well behaved black pdople.

[Anonymous No.11775413]

>>11774881
Is this high school or college. I hope you don’t ever commit suicide but if you do you should totally do it in front of your class

[Anonymous No.11775446]

>>11775408
Please help us grow into better 4channers.

[Anonymous No.11775475]

>>11774758
wait, you went to vegas and didn't bange the strippers? why did you go to vegas then?

[Anonymous No.11775505]

I need a girlfriend. Not for any sexual reason (although it is a plus) but just to know what a romantic relationship is like. The serenity you have when together, the passion in bed, the withdrawal of not being near each other, idk.

[Anonymous No.11775516]

>>11775446
>4channer
kys

[Anonymous No.11775552]

>>11775446
>teach me talent
don't you find it odd that the literature board can't write?

[Anonymous No.11775610]

>>11775552
No, because the board is not one person. You seem to be deflecting and giving no substantive claims beyond name dropping Cervantes, blaming his lack of recognition due to IQ, and that being fat is somehow relative in degeneracy to being born a race, regardless of actions. You've been stamped as a prestigious S-class pseud.

[Anonymous No.11775641]

>>11775505
I relate to this heavily

[Anonymous No.11775653]

>>11775610
>awfully written response

[Anonymous No.11775676]

>>11775653
Come on now, put your heart into it! I believe in you, anon. It isn't fun beating up a sandbag.
Don't worry, I have this page bookmarked, I'll see your great response when it comes.

[Anonymous No.11775679]

我從母親的子宮裡滑出來,很棒......而且很熱。真的很熱......真是太熱了我現在很難。如此熱,你可以煮雞蛋。如此熱,我可以融化我的垃圾勺。所以該死的。我離開了我的年輕生活與我的母親是一個性的陰霾。她總是告訴我,我有一個主要的俄狄浦斯情結(無論那意味著......)。我的西門子雙胞胎對我的俄狄浦斯情結有著不可思議的蔑視。
媽媽......媽媽......媽媽!他媽的是我的水嗎?...媽媽......該死的......哦,她已經死了。或者至少那是我祖母在葬禮上對我說的話。我討厭我的家人他們是一群Fuckers,母親Fuckers infact,好吧我想我是唯一一個但他們是婊子。一堆婊子。無論什麼樣的Fuck'em。該死的婊子

[Anonymous No.11775686]

>>11774166
underrated

[Anonymous No.11775701]

>>11771028
I feel like shit

[Anonymous No.11775702]

>>11775505
>>11775641
You two should date. Flip a coin on who gets to be the girl.

[Anonymous No.11775707]

>>11771028
When did you realize all women are whores even that quiet innocent girl who sits in the back of your uni class and barely says a word is most definitely a whore

[Anonymous No.11775726]

>>11775707
They can be, but they can be my whores, or your whores, and we can teach them to know their place, and become civil, lest we be continual enablers, no? Isn't it a more fun, fulfilling challenge to change one than to already start with a clean soul? Then you might degrade naturally from boredom.

[Anonymous No.11775733]

>>11775707
>tfw you realize they're all whores but not for you
I'll literally, literally never get laid

[Anonymous No.11775742]

>>11775733
Don't despair, brother.

[Anonymous No.11775757]

>>11775679

Desu.

[Anonymous No.11775765]

>>11775707
in university it became fairly clear. this was great for random hookups but made me very wary about dating. I never knew if my gfs were cheating but based on how other girls who seemed like nice girls still cheated i assume that they all did. you kind of just have to get over it i guess.

It's not like men are any better. Im not even any better myself, i have cheated as well.

[Anonymous No.11775766]

I'm drunk and disappointed with the University experience. If this is the best of the best then we are fucked. I am very upset about the lack of sincerity I'm getting tired of irony I'm tired of being sneered at for being genuinely excited about my studies by supposed adults, if they're so miserable and bored they should fuck off and leave

[Anonymous No.11775782]

>>11775766
You're hanging around the wrong crowd. Find some study groups who already seem interested in learning if possible.
I desperately want to go back and get any sort of bachelors to get a teaching certificate. Keep your optimism for your studies, and disregard those who don't want to be helped.

[Anonymous No.11775822]

I really hate niggers. A lot.

[Anonymous No.11775847]

>>11775196
Apple products strike me the same way. Their interfaces are too focused, I feel, so they give the user a hard time keeping track of the big picture e.g. the entire file path they have gone down, or all the tabs they have open. It's like they want someone standing across the room to have the same idea of what's on the screen as the person using the computer. I've definitely been seeing a lot more macbooks than any other brand, and I can't figure out why. They certainly aren't visually appealing the same way a plain desktop computer is. They have all these pointless lights on them, a lit up Apple logo on the back, illuminated letters on the keyboard, etc. It seems absurd and wasteful compared to the straightforward designs of, for example, most desktop PC hardware (aside from flashy gaming mice and such). I have always preferred the simple type of design that you see in something like pic related. I guess that's the striking thing about it; Apple's designs are supposed to seem minimalist when, in reality, they have much more superfluous detail than regular hardware, as if they do it just for the sake of standing out.

[Anonymous No.11775851]

>>11775847
forgot pic

[Anonymous No.11775852]

It'd be cool if I could sort this thread to show the posts with most replies at the top and the ones with none at the bottom

[Anonymous No.11775859]

Pour one out for Thermidor. They're closing up shop. It wasn't always a GOOD site, but it was always an interesting one.

[Anonymous No.11775862]

>>11775851
What does it need two CAPS LOCKs for?

[Anonymous No.11775867]

>>11775822

[Anonymous No.11775871]

>>11775862
thats a really cute anime girl, thanks

[Anonymous No.11775872]

>>11775847
>detailed thoughts on product design

[Anonymous No.11775874]

>>11775871
Bitte.

[Anonymous No.11775877]

I am extremely depressed. No woman will ever look at me the way Anne Hathaway (the most beautiful woman in the world) looks at the interviewer in pic related. I've taken to working out to try and alleviate my sorrows, but the other men at the gym are all faggots who have tried to pressure me into joining their homosexual revels. I have said no so far, but I fear that as my mental state worsens I may one day give in. This only fills me with more self-loathing.

[Anonymous No.11775882]

>>11775862
For days when you're double angry.

[Anonymous No.11775929]

>>11775251
why do you keep posting in this threads

[Anonymous No.11775939]

>>11775877
>but I fear that as my mental state worsens I may one day give in.

There is nothing wrong with being gay but don't do it out of desperation.

Instead of just being self-loathing you could do some assessment on the things which you don't like and try to fix them. Of course nobody is going to look at you with adoring eyes if you can't even respect yourself.

[Anonymous No.11775980]

I genuinely believe the reading lists and starter kits posted here frequently are harmful and feed into this checklist mentality of reading that is no better that what you'd see from booktubers. Not only that but these lists, in their attempt to be encompassing, are spread so thin that you'll never read anything in detail.

Learning about Rome isn't about checking a few books off a list. You could make a whole reading list dedicated to Caesar alone. And in the same way reading almost any great work of literature in isolation is pretty much a waste of time. For someone like Tolstoy you would do well to read a few books on Russian history, a biography of him, and some of his non-fiction.

[Anonymous No.11775993]

>>11774980
你是台灣人嗎

[Anonymous No.11776089]

>>11775877
don't do it anon, dying a virgin is better than dying a faggot

[Anonymous No.11776106]

Well,where do i start?Perhaps i should talk about how deathly afraid i am of writing.Yes,one of my biggest afflictions.let me preface by saying that i barely write(unless you consider 4chan and discord posts anything to go by) and i also never read(partially because of lethargy and the fear of my inability to comprehend such words).My fear of writing started when i was 11.I jotted down some words, copying the plot of something i watched previously, then proofread the first sentence.Suffice to say i grimaced at it;not sure if i should continue and finish the task i had in mind or stop immediately.Out of stubbornness i continued.At the end of the entire ordeal i was so disgusted that i only picked up the pen when i was asked;although i do have to admit i did write a short paragraph with the intent of self pleasure when i was 14 but also ended up disgusted by my disjointed,badly thought out ideas.Now,at the bold age of 18,i picked up the pen once again, out of desperation, clinging to the idea that it would assuage a anxiety episode i was having.To my surprise,it did.In fact,it allowed me to write today(despite the unintentional mistakes on grammar,syntax and to a certain degree my carelessness towards the arbitrary value i give to it).It's liberating and although i am not sure i will ever be able to improve it,i can say in fact i will use it till i become disillusioned with it's future(if nothing can truly be done about it, that is).Maybe, those things will never matter in the long run as long it fulfils a specific purpose.If you read it till the end,i thank you from the bottom of my heart, for even bothering to read the woes from a person such as myself.I wouldn't mind some criticism towards syntax and grammar.

[Anonymous No.11776110]

>>11775877
If you really feel like doing it, do it. Don't let this sick dogma keep you from experiencing life and having some measure of comfort in this miserable existence.

[Anonymous No.11776124]

Caravaggio was based.

[Anonymous No.11776129]

>>11776110
>and having some measure of comfort in this miserable existence.

>tfw no /lit/ bf

[Anonymous No.11776158]

>>11776129
that being said, and as someone who's tried both flavors, titties are worth the trouble. Dudes are bland.

[Anonymous No.11776184]

>>11776158
>titties are worth the trouble.

Guys have much nicer chests than girls imo. So long as they're not hairy.

[Anonymous No.11776209]

I threw up today from anxiety
What is fucking wrong with me

[Anonymous No.11776218]

>>11775877
wonder what her face tastes like

[Anonymous No.11776262]

>>11776209
I think it's all the anxiety.

[Anonymous No.11776263]

Writing fiction is more difficult than writing in my diary.

[Anonymous No.11776272]

>>11776263
Everyone's diary is fiction.

[Anonymous No.11776278]

>>11776209
>What is fucking wrong with me
Don't worry about it

[Anonymous No.11776280]

I decided to try an experiment today. I picked up a large book (The Tunnel by William H. Gass) and dropped it on the ground. It made a small thud. I picked it up again and dropped it from a higher distance. It made a slightly louder thud. I concluded that the book has mass and thus when it collides with the ground, it produces a force.

Curious, then, that when I dropped it on my foot I felt nothing at all.

[Anonymous No.11776286]

>>11776272
wow

[Anonymous No.11776287]

>>11776106
>syntax and grammar
Space after punctuation marks, capital "I", misuse of ";" after "grimaced at it," and it's generally lacking in subjects to their predicates ("'I am" not sure if I should..."). The only real point of syntax and grammar is to make your writing look as neat and as fluid as possible for readers.
It was an interesting read. Having self-doubt about writing is good because it means you care enough to do it and take criticism for it. Keep it up, no one is perfect here.

[Anonymous No.11776293]

>>11776287
See, in this instance, I should have said, "Keep it up; no one is perfect here." Semicolons are supposed to separate two independent clauses that are closely related.

[Anonymous No.11776297]

>>11776280
air resistance my nigga

[Anonymous No.11776300]

>>11776280

I truly have no idea what you’re saying. Your allusions and innuendos are proof of nothing, least of all your own emotions. Everything you and anyone else says is a drop of color in the psychedelic dream world im living. Nothing is real, everyone is larping, no one and nothing is what they or it seems to be, everything is a joke on me, nothing makes sense.

[Anonymous No.11776327]

I just realized it's been nearly a year since I finished the first draft of my novel and it's actually less edited than when I started

[Anonymous No.11776338]

>>11776280
My ducking sides

[Anonymous No.11776342]

>>11776300
Try learning mathematics and maybe you can find some objective truth from that. Just kidding nigga, 2+2 is 5 now! Get fucked nerd! Haha!
/roll d20
/print 20
I just got a crit on persuasion, that means you have to suck my dick now!

[Anonymous No.11776344]

I'm convinced a good 90% of people either have no respect for me, or have the kind of condescending "respect" that's reserved for
mentally disabled people or toddlers who didn't shit their pants this week

[Anonymous No.11776360]

Just read Philoktetes by Sophocles, and it was beautiful. I got teary when Philoktetes said his goodbyes to the island.

[Anonymous No.11776382]

>>11776344
>mentally disabled people or toddlers who didn't shit their pants

Which one are you?

[Anonymous No.11776396]

>>11776382
the former more or less.

the fact that my family praises me only for things that any normal person can do and will do in their lives is something I find so incredibly goddamn insulting that just knowing they're sincere makes me want to kill myself

I want to stop feeling like a failure, but the fact of the matter is I am one in every way that matters to me.

[Anonymous No.11776410]

>>11776300
>>11776342
PS I'm sorry for this post, in all honesty. I just thought I was being clever but I can see you are at a troubling point in your life where nothing seems real and everyone is fake. If you see it that way, then it is so, but there is an order to all of this. That can only be determined by YOU and your short time with others' ideas. Find yourself, brother.

[Anonymous No.11776444]

I forgot how to make an independent post because I've been happy replying to others. Someone give me something to write about right now.

[Anonymous No.11776447]

I read the letter of osama bin-laden and want to read more about the teachings of prophet mohammed, learning teaching from all the prophets of deus is something i want to persue and perhaps turn that into a profession - either become a priest or a writer on religion

[Anonymous No.11776449]

>>11776396
>I want to stop feeling like a failure, but the fact of the matter is I am one in every way that matters to me.

You can still make something of yourself if you are willing to work hard. I failed the subjects I wanted to follow a career in, but after a while of searching, I founding something else to do, and that's working out okay.

It's all up to you.

[Anonymous No.11776452]

>>11776444
>Someone give me something to write about right now.

umm, how are you anon? Did you have a nice day?

[Anonymous No.11776454]

>>11771918
Good luck anon. I'm only in my second year of meandering but I already know that lack of purpose while taking courses sucks,. I hope you can still find the motivation to do well in that class.

[Anonymous No.11776467]

>>11776452
Yea, I've been applying for jobs. I used to hate going in person for it but now I prefer it over online applications. I emailed my strings teacher to schedule a meeting so I could ask him and some others there how they came about becoming teachers. He was happy to oblige.
Then I started shitposting here on /lit/ and it's been taking up most my time, which I don't regret. Then I played Fortnite and read some Nietzsche. And now I'm back here. Pretty good day. How about yourself?

[Anonymous No.11776470]

>>11775505
If you develop an unhealthy obsession with someone you can experience the withdrawal

[Anonymous No.11776476]

>>11776449
I'm well aware I have that capacity inside me. I'm also aware that my mind and mentality are profoundly susceptible to uncontrolled feedback loops of negativity that I don't know a way to prevent or cure. The mental state necessary for me to make progress towards my goals is also something I have yet to discover a way to create or prolong, and unlike with the negativity the conditions that create it are not self-sustaining and usually peter out within days

[Anonymous No.11776519]

I need to go to therapy but I'm going to have to put my mom's cat through chemo soon and burn through my entire savings

[Anonymous No.11776521]

>>11771166
Hit that word count again, dudes. Gonna admit, a lot of it today was unorganized crap I'm not looking forward to sorting out. But what can I say, I just like to see that little number go up.

[Anonymous No.11776543]

>>11776467
>I emailed my strings teacher

Neat, which instrument do you play? You'd like to become a teacher?

>How about yourself?

It was an okay day. I spend most of it outside, reading.


>>11776476
>feedback loops of negativity that I don't know a way to prevent or cure.

Unfortunately that sounds very familiar to me. I don't know if there is a cure, it's just something we have to learn to live with. But I try to find enough things to work towards or achieve so I have something to feel good about and proud of for once.

>the conditions that create it are not self-sustaining and usually peter out within days

'Being happy' takes a lot more effort than the alternative, yes, but please don't take that path. You have the power to do some amazing things, anon.

[Anonymous No.11776563]

>>11776543
I don't resolve myself to failure, and work during the times I do have that drive. I've got a novel 99% written that I'm hoping to finish editing in the next burst, along with another idea I think could potentially be even better at reaching towards my goal provided i do successfully write it

to be honest though, I'm not sure how many books I'll finish in my lifetime because of how my brain works. It might be that this one will never be finished. After all It's been almost a year since I finished the first draft and I still don't have a second

[Anonymous No.11776597]

>>11776470
literally this

t. withdrawing from slowly getting rejected by my oneitis

[Anonymous No.11776620]

>>11776563
>along with another idea I think could potentially be even better at reaching towards my goal provided i do successfully write it

OH, awesome, watcha writing about anon?

[Anonymous No.11776639]

>>11776543
I played a different instrument every year because the class was new for the school and there were very few people in it. My favorite is the viola since it's contrarian as fuck and compliments violin.
I've decided a while ago that I want to be a teacher because it's something of a virtue. I like helping people learn something, anything. There's always a way to do it, and I would learn different ways to teach! My only problem is with strict curriculum that you have to abide by for public schools, but those are just guidelines, right?

I would read more outside, but it's dead air, humid, and hot right now. What did you read about?

[Anonymous No.11776708]

>>11776639
>I played a different instrument every year
I feel a little outclassed, I can only play piano. Do you play in your school's orchestra?
>I've decided a while ago that I want to be a teacher because it's something of a virtue.
I thought about doing something like that, too. My parents always bug me to go and teach English somewhere foreign. But I don't know if I have the patients for it.
>I would read more outside, but it's dead air, humid, and hot right now.
I highly recommend it. It feels so nice to have the sun on your skin, or even to just sit in the cool shade.
>What did you read about?
Spring Snow by Mishima and Artist of the Floating world by Ishiguro. Read them both before but I just wanted something relaxing.

[Anonymous No.11776752]

>>11776708
Don't feel outclassed, all the classical strings are basically the same. Viola and violin are only different in one string, and cello is just a fat violin that's a lower octave. Once you learn one, you basically know them all. I played for the orchestra a while ago. We played mostly pop culture songs like Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean.
I need something to read that's relaxing but my list is mostly tragic mess as far as I can tell. I couldn't bear not finishing a book before starting another, though.

[Anonymous No.11776823]

>>11776752
>but my list is mostly tragic mess as far as I can tell.
It's not a race, you just have to read what you can, when you can and enjoy it.

>I couldn't bear not finishing a book before starting another, though
I do it all of the time, not really a problem unless you forget a book, of course... Sometimes I buy books and then never touch them again. Probably a bad habit.

[Anonymous No.11776899]

>>11774758
>casually goes to a strip club with his brother
>thinks he still has his innocence
wtf anon

[Anonymous No.11776926]

>>11775782
Not that anon but study groups at my university just consisted of people who were obsessed with memorizing test banks and shit.

[Anonymous No.11776995]

>>11776597
Same anon. Mine is also wrapped up in a whole bunch of romantic notions about youth and childhood and love and stuff so I get to feel all my hopes and dreams die too.

When did you realize that despite having lovely moments from time to time real life will never be as beautiful as you imagined it could be /lit/? Mine was when my oneitis bailed on the plans I had made with her to go partying and drunkly hookup with some rando. The incongruity with how we sat on the wall by her house and laughed and made plans to go hiking and then her abandoning me like that almost broke my mind. It was like she was two separate people, but the one I loved didn't actually exist outside of a few transient glimpses. I miss her, but moreover I miss believing that she existed.

Fuck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWi4BjzVk6s

[Anonymous No.11777004]

>>11776597
Same anon. Mine is also wrapped up in a whole bunch of romantic notions about youth and childhood and love and stuff so I get to feel all my hopes and dreams die too.

When did you realize that despite having lovely moments from time to time real life will never be as beautiful as you imagined it could be /lit/? Mine was when my oneitis bailed on the plans I had made with her to go partying and drunkly hookup with some rando. The incongruity with how we sat on the wall by her house and laughed and made plans to go hiking and then her abandoning me like that almost broke my mind. It was like she was two separate people, but the one I loved didn't actually exist outside of a few transient glimpses. I miss her, but moreover I miss believing that she existed.

Fuck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbpSkTPr1g0

[Anonymous No.11777796]

I think I'm going to retreat into my imagination zone. Living just ain't for me.

[Anonymous No.11777869]

>>11775980
you are not learning about rome or tolstoy, you are learning about yourself through them

[Anonymous No.11777921]

>>11773425
Don't stagnate anon
Find something to do anon. It can be anything that you'll find meaning in. No matter how small. Just please don't stagnate, because that's what will cause you to brood and hurt. Just do something that will make you happier than you currently are like eat some fruit or go for a stroll or try talk with a stranger or read a book or just walk around and space out or go see some live music idk

[Anonymous No.11778196]

>>11777777

[Anonymous No.11778477]

Self-loathing:
>>11771072
>>11771161
>>11771354
>>11771706
>>11772074
>>11772553
>>11772622
>>11772801
>>11773213
>>11773425
>>11773501
>>11774125
>>11775408
>>11775766
>>11775822
>>11775877
>>11776344
Interesting:
>>11771143
>>11771287
>>11771352
>>11771404
>>11771690
>>11771811
>>11772312
>>11772849
>>11773804
>>11773838
>>11774231
>>11774304
>>11774852
>>11775344
>>11775344
>>11775852
>>11775980
Motivational:
>>11771166
>>11771292
>>11771806
>>11772347
>>11773378
>>11774758
>>11774881
>>11774991
>>11775707
>>11776280
>>11776327
>>11776360
>>11776447


Delusional:
>>11771305
>>11771455
>>11771918
>>11771961
>>11772320
>>11773245
>>11775505
>>11776106
>>11776124


>my diary desu
>>11771319
>>11771333
>>11771417
>>11771429
>>11771731
>>11772567
>>11775251
>>11775859
>>11776209
>>11776263


Funny:
>>11771361
>>11771773
>>11771910
>>11771994
>>11772001
>>11772769
>>11774105
>>11775191
>>11775196
>>11775299
>>11776444
>>11776519

[Anonymous No.11778490]

>>11771028
I love visiting greasy pubs by myself. Its an experience every time

[Anonymous No.11778620]

I was in Atlanta last weekend and I lost a First-To-10 against a Roa player in Melty Blood. I've been extremely frustrated about it ever since even though it was just a friendly match, preparing for a tournament in a few months. How do I get over my frustrations with trifles? Huge issues or problems rarely arouse anger in me, but small things and inconveniences almost always send me flying off the handle - not playing well enough, deleting some of my writing, not meeting my fitness goals for the day. Does anyone else have issues with this?

[Anonymous No.11778687]

>>11778620
Oh shit son a fellow fg player, or atleast I was for a while. Then I left Atlanta and went to a place with no scene and I stopped playing because netplay is terrible for the psyche. It makes me blame lag all the time.
The thing about it is, you are frustrated because you lost, and you wanted to win. I know right, shocker. Good sportsmanship is a craft in itself. Everyone wants to win, but how you take a loss and use it as motivation, like some rubber band effect to your next possible win, is key. Take a break for a while and then really analyze why you think you lost. Nail the bnbs, really focus on what held you back and what that player did right. Hope this helps.


>>11778620

[Anonymous No.11778738]

Since the future is so chaotic, the only thing there is to do is to wait.

[Anonymous No.11778744]

this is my first time ever on lit. i have had a narrative in my mind for a while that i had wanted to use for a d&d campaign unironically. after realizing that i would just be let down and ruin the idea for myself trying to implement it, i gave up. i am set on the idea of somehow bringing this story to life, it's all i think about in my downtime now- when i drive, when i listen to music, even in the shower or just sitting around. i thought about writing a novel but i have no idea where to start and i cant find any good advice online that gives me any real direction for do's and don'ts, and a lot of them conflict. god i feel like a retard

[Anonymous No.11778786]

It’s been a terrible three weeks, society and closer friends finally showed they were unable to lend a hand or even just show some empathy. Yesterday I went to a park for some fresh air, I sat on a bench that was in front of other bench occupied by a young couple. We were at least ten meters afar. The guy seemed a little older, maybe by a year or two, the girl was probably 20 or 22. I barely looked at them, and minded my own business at my phone. But I wasn't able to keep focused, I was too sad about these weeks, and the couple was really loud, not screaming for attention, but really too into each other conversation to care about me. It was distracting to listen to them. How they went from random chat to tears, back and forth. The girl was the one with the problem, she was laughing when I arrived, but some minutes later she was crying while telling her boyfriend how hard is to live up to her parents expectations, how since she was little they asked her to be someone else, "why can't you be like Stella, they said when I was a first grade!", she cries, "Why can't you be like Hannah, she is in the top ten in your class! They always want me to be somebody else. I even started to wear dresses and makeup for them", she continues full of frustration. He assures her the best is to give a shit about them and actually confront them. "I am not a field person! I can sell shit by internet or telephone but I can't talk to people!", she complains the burdens of being herself, "I went to therapy with mom! We told each other everything but isn't enough!". The guy is listening quiet, he seems like a chill man who tries to advise her, “just stop asking for their approval, do what you want, otherwise you won’t do it right, if is something you like, you are going to enjoy it, otherwise you won’t be happy never, only thing you would get is to satisfy your parents”. He talks about how money is everything nowadays, no matter your political choice, and having money is what gives you a change of getting some freedom. He talks about his cousins, how they went for Industrial and Chemical Engineering and how now they are doing what they want. But the girl still seems insecure or afraid about her parents, the last thing I hear from her is about her freedom to be able to be comfortable, "and I am wearing dresses and make up and hate it, and then I get this bunny headband, and now with this bunny headband I feel I am me!". I stood up then, I needed to do some errands, but before I gave a glimpse at them. She was wearing a fucking bunny headband.

[Anonymous No.11778806]

>>11778687
It does help, I just have to keep that kind of stuff in mind right now, I haven't developed the habits of a good sportsman yet. I took the loss well in person, like I was certainly polite and said thank you for the match and all, but the next morning back home I was pissed at myself. Then again, I don't think the Nero-Roa matchup is very good, so I could have switched to my Warachia and probably done a bit better. I only lost 10-7.

You should keep playing brother. I'm from Memphis and our scene is growing every day.

[Anonymous No.11778820]

>>11778806
Also, if you'd ever like to play some games online with someone who has a great connection, I'll be here. I play everything.

[Anonymous No.11778828]

>>11778744
Have you ever taken an English class? Do you have an idea of a rough draft? Or that you could just start writing about it and worry about chronology and syntax later? What opens the scene? What are the characters like? What is their ultimate challenge? It's not as hard as you make it out to be to write. Any starting point will branch off into infinite possibilities, just write them down one bit at a time.
I made a campaign intro for 5th edition and during the game I jotted some general notes about what was happening. Then I wrote a more comprehensive summary of it. I have already written another intro and some possible outcomes and encounters and now I am stuck unless I want to just flesh out the cities or something, which all in all could be a waste of time if no one ever wants to play it. My group is really finnicky about when they can play and it seems like I need people who are already interested in roleplaying then shoehorning people into it.
Try the game idea if you can, then you can really get an idea of what a different character (the pc's) would do in a scenario.

[Anonymous No.11778939]

>>11778786

Have you been reading Camus?

I liked this.

[Anonymous No.11778949]

>>11778828
I don't really have a group to do it with unfortunately, they get far more into the game than the roleplaying aspect, otherwise i'd like to give it a try. we haven't had a session in a while.
i've never taken an english class other than high school, i do have a pretty solid idea of a narrative though i think. i guess what i was hoping to find online was some kind of big rule list of fiction sins so i could know what to avoid when im putting together the narrative but now that i think about it i guess that's pretty unrealistic

[Anonymous No.11778976]

>>11778949
The only sin in fiction is being uninteresting. Is there a credible challenge? Or is there never doubt? That's all I can think of. Don't think about what you can't write, ever, just think would someone else be hooked and like it and want to know more? That's it.

[Anonymous No.11778990]

>>11778939
I read it years ago. Right now I am just depressed.

[Anonymous No.11778991]

>write a short story
>it gets called a Borges copy-cat
>I've never even read Borges
why

[Anonymous No.11779030]

>>11778976
thank you. this really helped

[Anonymous No.11779102]

>>11771028
Last evening I went out bar hopping with some relatives(that I hadn't seen in a long time) and threw up on the floor in the restroom of the last bar we went to. It was kind of embarrassing. I hope I didn't cause too much trouble for the custodian or other guests. Afterwards, I walked out of there and rinsed myself off in the salty waves.
Also, I hope work gets cancelled tomorrow for the hurricane.

[Anonymous No.11779199]

yo i'm legit the next motherfucking big novelist holy shit i've copped pynchon's style so good

[Anonymous No.11779207]

>>11778820
Dope, I ended up mostly liking Jive and KI. My favorite anime fighter was probably p4a, but I couldn't really get into most of them for some reason, the systems were all a little too contrived over the simple stuff I am used to lmao. I cant even play if I wanted to right now because steam doesnt load on proxy connections, so Im stuck in offline mode.

[Anonymous No.11779254]

>>11771355
Not him, I equate Stirner correctly with not being a philosopher, and in fact being a talentless hack who contributed nothing to his field.

For the same reason that people who admit to being left-wing are subtly filtered out of any finance job, anyone who admits to taking Stirner seriously should be removed from any position requiring critical thought.

[Anonymous No.11779268]

I started listening to godspeed you black emperor, and I can't get over the Dead flag blues. The beginning narration keeps replaying in my head like a looped cassette. The shepherds tone at the beginning really gets you on edge. The tornado sirens that come in towards the end really put me in an anxious mood, and I was a bit dissapointed that I couldn't find out what kind of siren was sampled. Tthe post apocalyptic feeling that pervades the whole piece really resonates with me. Nothing beats that opening though, "The car is on fire. And there's no driver at the wheel."

[Anonymous No.11779553]

Is there anything we as individuals can do to fight against the cultural collapse post-post-modernism has ushered in?

[Anonymous No.11779560]

>>11779553
Survive. Rebuild.

[Anonymous No.11779634]

>>11779553
Embrace it. If we need to be a multi-planet species, we need to be unified

[Anonymous No.11779647]

>>11779560
I don't believe a civilizational collapse is coming anons, just a cultural one.

>>11779634
I literally could not give less of a fuck about "being a multiplanet species"

[Anonymous No.11779674]

>>11779647
Why? Shouldnt the humans expand and explore space? And it increases the possibility of mankinds existence

[Anonymous No.11779690]

>>11779674
What's the point of expanding and exploring if the soul of mankind has died?

[Anonymous No.11779697]

>>11779690
Kek. Can you be anymore edgier?

[Anonymous No.11779715]

>>11779697
How the fuck am I being edgy lmao? At least no more than you and your "we need to be unified to conquer the stars brah"

[Anonymous No.11779750]

>>11779715
Tell me why the soul of mankind is dead?

[Anonymous No.11779761]

>>11779750
Do I need to remind you that your original reply was:
>Embrace it. [cultural collapse]

[Anonymous No.11779800]

Der Eisenhans is the best Grimm fairytale. It's fucking sick. I want to write an essay about it.

[Anonymous No.11779823]

>>11779761
First, remove your glasses and see as a cultural integration instead of a collapse. Second, why is culture the soul of mankind?

[Anonymous No.11779889]

>>11778477
Based mass quoter

[Anonymous No.11780193]

>>11779823
How is the barren void of 21st century consumerism and techno capitalism an integration? It's an effacing.

And "Soul of mankind" was something I thought was a pretty blatant metaphor for the culture.

[Anonymous No.11780449]

>>11779254
>people who admit to being left-wing are subtly filtered out of any finance job

For what reason?

[Anonymous No.11780543]

I slowly lost my lust for life.