Mediocrity

[Anonymous No.11699486]

Although I am (somewhat) well-read and articulate, the more I learn the more painfully apparent it is how little I know and how vanishingly small my talents are. I never had any aspiration in music or art, but I did hope to write good fiction (and abandoned hope) and more recently I hoped to at least understand certain corners of literature/philosophy/religion enough to be able to write cogent explanatory essays or books (while more humble and concrete, this has begun to feel futile as well).

I'm not an idiot, but that isn't a very high bar. The most intelligent 1% of the population still consists of millions of people, and I doubt I can count myself member of that group. It looks unlikely that I will ever do anything of consequence or even anything particularly interesting.

How do you feel? All of you are obviously just as mediocre.

[Anonymous No.11699509]

>>11699486
with the attitude sure you'll never amount to anything. think you're better. fake till you make it

[Anonymous No.11699511]

Are you 17yo? lmao

[Anonymous No.11699538]

It took four hours of an absolute hell acid trip to make me finally realize how unhealthy and insecure I was for obsessing about my intellect the way I did. It was an unhinged need to understand and be able to describe everything. Obsessing whether or not I'm smarter than someone, obsessing over whether or not I'm a pseud, obsessing over whether or not I'm impressive, all that shit.
I wandered into that acid trip with that same manic drive to understand and describe it, that same need to figure everything out and become truly enlightened, and all it did was sit me down and show me in the most terrifying way possible just how little I know and just how little reason I have to be prideful. It accelerated my drive for truth as hard as it would go until I literally broke and finally realized that I'm not smart enough to figure everything out. I'm not the idealized scholar I thought I was. I had to reconcile the fact that all I have is a thirst for clarify with the fact that it will never fully come. I was cocky and I paid dearly for it, and I'm glad it knocked that bullshit out of me.

[Anonymous No.11699544]

>>11699538
>thirst for clarify
fuck, *clarity

[Anonymous No.11699591]

>>11699538
I'm already there, but I'm more in a "what now?" mindset. I'm not anxious about being intelligent or about knowing everything, but I would prefer to make some sort of mark other than just existing until I die. I just haven't determined the best way of going about it. I'm pursuing social work, so that's some sort of spiritual nourishment, but I want more.

[Anonymous No.11699962]

I just sort of keep going.
At least I live in a shithole country so I can use that as an excuse for my mediocrity

[Anonymous No.11701260]

all i care about is not fucking the nature any more than it currently is. i dont care if someone else cares about it, its all i want for my life.

just want to life a life in harmony with natures principles. i think being a domesticated human is a terrible stage to be in.

[Anonymous No.11701292]

>>11701260
>is not fucking the nature
17 year old confirmed, you will not fuck up nature no matter how hard you try, nature isn't getting fucked in any sense, since humans are part of nature themselves
If you don't want to be domesticated live in the wild for 2 years and see how things turn out for yourself.

[Anonymous No.11701326]

>>11699486
>I hoped to at least understand certain corners of literature/philosophy/religion enough to be able to write cogent explanatory essays or books
If you really want to do this then dedicate the rest of your life studying and researching to becoming an expert in a particular area. The books you read on these things are not written by genuises, but usually by people who were passionate enough to spend decades studying it.
Sound kinda boring to me, but I admire it. I'd rather be mediocre.

[Anonymous No.11701344]

You write like a pseud. You sound like a pseud. Yup, you are a pseud.

[Anonymous No.11701358]

>>11701292
either you get it, or you get hung up on semantics.

there is alot of evidence that being in the nature (accompanied by trees etc), reduces stress.

the same can not be said about our man made cities, although they are natural aswell.

>hurr durr im so smart i know about appeal to nature.
i want to preserve things like the wildlife, instead of destroying them through human, natural expansion.

is it that hard to get? and no, you dont have to become a savage again to do that. maybe i should not have used the word domesticated, as it triggered you too hard.

[Anonymous No.11701366]

>>11699486
It's not as strict as you think. You need to be in the top 8% or something like that. If you are, then industriousness can compensate. Aside from that there are a lot of people who are retards and still very successful. Why not target a mainstream or genre audience instead of trying to construct an intellectual masterpiece?

[Anonymous No.11701416]

>>11699486
Oh my god dude, no one cares dude. No one cares. Dude, no one cares.

[Anonymous No.11701501]

>>11699511
>>11701292
>>11701344
>>11701416
Crabs in a bucket

[Anonymous No.11701603]

It feels bad. Look at Stephen Wolfram's Wikipedia page for demotivation. Anything you do in ten years, he can do in a few weeks.

[Anonymous No.11701681]

off to /adv/ with you

this wouldn't have happened if you STARTED WITH THE GREEKS

[Anonymous No.11701747]

>>11701366
This. People that are dumber than you have put out works of art, music and literature that are loved by many people. You just need to have the patience to sit down and make something.