Books about being filthy and broken?

[Anonymous No.11691936]

Currently dating a girl who knows I am mentally ill and likes me because of it. Now I am decaying into a spiral of self-destruction. What read, /lit/?

[Anonymous No.11691941]

>>11691936
Thank God I'm way past this retarded phase.

[Anonymous No.11691959]

>>11691941
This. I know people who want to live this phase the rest of their life because the ideation of them being irreparably flawed absolves them of the responsibility of growing out of nihilism and mental adolescence.

Protip: You're not a character in one of your fictional works. No one gives a shit about your flaws except for you. Get your life together and stop dwelling on the ruminations birthed from a childish mentality that deep down you actually enjoy.

[Anonymous No.11691984]

>>11691941

>>11691959

It's always funny too because when you tell them that shit they get resentful. "It's just a stage." is never a good look.

[Anonymous No.11692003]

>>11691984
>>11691959
>>11691941
It's OK, anons. I know it's a phase. I've actually been doing therapy and one of my problems is that I've never been through the adolescence phase of my life because I was too busy caring for my sick mother. I kinda feel like a child at the age of 25 and only now going through the edgy phase of being up late and smoking pot. I just wanna dive into it and be through with it so I can finally man up.

[Anonymous No.11692014]

>>11692003
I feel you dude! My mom was a helicopter mom and I was an obedient scholastic so I went through it at 21 instead of 14. I'm almost 25 now so I can confirm you come down on the otherside of it alright. Good to see you have perspective, you'll be fine. Do some of your own psychology study if you can or are so inclined.

[Anonymous No.11692027]

>>11691936
Alright, enough of this pow-wow! We post books! Notes from the underground and Chuck's other book "Rant." I read one in highschool about a kid that tyler durdened himself into a fire setting arsonist that was neat but I cant remember its NAME. ack!

[Anonymous No.11692032]

>>11692027
Oh! Shit! I have Rant somewhere in my room. Thanks for reminding me, mate.

[Anonymous No.11692038]

>>11691936
Read this and grow a little, kid

[Anonymous No.11692039]

>>11692003
Shit, now I feel bad. The person I know has a similar story with having a fucked up childhood that revolved around their mom.

The best advice I can give is there's no "pivotal moment" where things fall into place. It's a slow grind, and the lot of it involves getting out there and working hard at work and in your studies/hobbies. A big part of "manning up" is accepting life is fucking weird and frustrating if you think about it too much and not thinking about it from an angle of negativity but rather amusement.

[Anonymous No.11692047]

>>11691936
Irvene Welsh
John Irving

[Anonymous No.11692053]

>>11692032
You should DEFINITLEY read it then. Neat.

[Anonymous No.11692054]

>>11691936 What kind of mental illness do you have? The kind you get by reading too many chivalric romances or the kind you send flowers to your dead mouse? Or you're just a slightly retarded edgy teen?

[Anonymous No.11692131]

>>11692039
>>11692053
Thanks, senpai. We're all gonna make it.

>>11692054
The kind that is perfectly fine in a second and then proceeds to call his brother and call him a cocksucker for three minutes despite him being quite chill and a bro or snuffing cigarrettes at his own hand. Or wanting to do something harmful at work despite being promoted a year ago and absolute love the job.

My therapist doesn't want to give a name because she thinks I might obsess over it, but my brother is bipolar and I'm thinking I may be leaning into that.

[Anonymous No.11693127]

>>11691936
If by some miracle you haven't heard about it, it's a story of a heroine addict and his friends who forgo everything resembleling normality in the pursuit of getting high and nothing else.
Choose life, etc.

[Anonymous No.11693135]

>>11693127
Fuck, forgot picture.

[Anonymous No.11693185]

>>11692039
/lit/ is a board of guys with mommy issues
t. Phone posting 20 yo zoomer with mommy issues

[Anonymous No.11693737]

>>11691936
You obviously didn’t read all of the books. Maybe it’s just my analysis but at the end the character is talking to what is inferred to be god or a therapist and says
“We are not special.
We are not crap or trash, either.
We just are.
We just are, and what happens just happens.”
This might not fit the romanticized since of worthlessness that you use to define your existence OP, because it’s not sexy, it’s not sexy to think we arnt disgusting beings. Tyler often says that it’s better to be hated by god than to be forgotten by him. I feel this applies to the universe in general. We are forgotten by god, we live in a place that is apathetic to our existence. The opposite of love isn’t hate, by apathy. People reliant on attention hate apathy.

[Anonymous No.11693765]

>>11691936

[Anonymous No.11694886]

>>11691936
Steppenwolf

[Anonymous No.11695858]

>>11691936
Hello, Alice. :)

[Anonymous No.11695873]

>>11691936
This nigga