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/lit/ - Literature

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11680133 No.11680133[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

Is it possible to have a girlfriend or a deep relationship with someone, while remaining focused on your literary activity? Every time I've had a girlfriend or I've started dating someone, I experienced a decrease in my concentration and motivation. Fewer books, fewer written pages, less time spent on books or in libraries. Yes, inb4 "gtfo normie", I've had some girls, even if I'm not particularly handsome or funny. I was just lucky.

Anyway, I had to quit every relationship because of this. I'm literally unable to keep a woman and focus on myself at the same time. Even the experience of reading becomes emptier: not necessairly for a lack of will, but for a reduction of the deep enjoyment of the book itself, as if I could not read between the lines, understanding every underlying meaning and connecting it to the rest of my previous knowledge. I feel like a brainlet Wojak, with mental abilities reduced by half.

It is very frustrating. Maybe I'm missing something, maybe I'm too hasty and the truth is that every relationship needs to mature and stabilize before you can get back to yourself. Idk.

Am I the only one who feels this? Do you any similar experiences? What's the solution?

Please no bully

>> No.11680140

>>11680133
aut liberi aut libri

>> No.11680142

>>11680133
When you have a girlfriend, you spend time with her that you could've used writing/reading.
Happy to help.

>> No.11680143

>>11680133
>a deep relationship with someone
nice spook u fuckin retard

>> No.11680145

Ever see how men behave around women? Grown-ass 35 year old men having snowball fights like little 10 year old faggots playing with their mommy, or laying in the grass at age 50 reading to a woman like she's a child, or arguing with some broad about the price of a box of crackers like a fucking gay baby instead of just saying "Perhaps we disagree on crackers pricing but I intend to purchase these crackers and you can react likewise according to your own free autonomy." Women are an opportunity for men to regress and re-enter the womb of childhood. It's an escape from the severity of adulthood, back into a dialogical cunt condition of life where everything has to be mediated through mommy and your stupid bitch feelings are constantly leaking out everywhere instead of just maturely doing what ought to be done.

Be a man of god, pound one out in the shower and move on with your day.

>> No.11680150

>>11680133
Depends what type of woman it is. Some women empower you, some drag you down. From my own experience, most women drag you down these days however

>> No.11680160

>>11680145
>this is what never getting a woman does to your absolute state

>> No.11680163

>>11680150
All women destroy. Trust me on this, I'm an incel. We're better off without them

>> No.11680165

Literature and art in general are substitutes for nerds who lack reliable access to quality sex

Nobody who is getting enthusiastically laid by a 10/10 17 year old whenever they feel like it wants to be a "writer"

There is a reason so many writers are suicidal socially incompetent mentally ill virgins--they aren't getting any

>> No.11680172

>>11680145
All sexual losses are harmful. Masturbation does not satiate, at least not for more than a half hour, it only reinforces the urge in the long run, leading to habituation and even increased frequency with age.
Mental continence makes physical abstinence easy and possible indefinitely and can be practiced without injury but only benefit.

>Emission not Necessary to Health.—If it be argued that an occasional emission is necessary to relieve the overloaded seminal vesicles, we reply, the same argument has been used as an apology for unchastity; but it is equally worthless in both instances. It might be as well argued that vomiting is a necessary physiological and healthful act, and should occur with regularity, because a person may so overload his stomach as to make the act necessary as a remedial measure. Vomiting is a diseased action, a pathological process, and is occasioned by the voluntary transgression of the individual. Hence, it is as unnecessary as gluttony, and must be wasteful of vitality, even though rendered necessary under some circumstances. So with emissions. If a person allows his mind to dwell upon unchaste subjects, indulges in erotic dreams, and riots in mental lasciviousness, he may render an emission almost necessary as a remedial effort. Nevertheless, he will suffer from the loss of the vital fluid just the same as though he had not, by his own concupiscence, rendered it in some degree necessary. And as it would have been infinitely better for him to have retained and digested food in his stomach instead of ejecting it—provided it were wholesome food—so it would have been better for him to have retained in his system the seminal fluid, which would have been disposed of by the system and probably utilized to very great advantage in the repair of certain of the tissues

>> No.11680180

>tfw got a qt gf, somewhat normie and silly, but a lovely being
>tfw also writing daily to eventually master the craft, hoping to publish serious works
>tfw also excelling academically
AMA if you need any information.

>> No.11680192

>>11680180
What dose her butthole smell like

>> No.11680196

>>11680172
What is, exactly, "mental continence"?

>>11680180
How?

>> No.11680197

>>11680180
what's the name of the black man she's fucking behind your back

>> No.11680200

>>11680165
>17 year old
Pedo confirmed.

>> No.11680209
File: 50 KB, 300x300, wut.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11680209

>>11680200
>liking 17 year olds
>pedo
Why do Americans always feel the need to type the most retarded posts?

>> No.11680217

>>11680180
Do you think that being a well-adjusted and happy normie negatively affects your writing?

>> No.11680218

>>11680192
She cares about her hygiene, so it smells just like any other path of skin. ;)

>>11680197
There are no non-whites in my country. Otherwise, I guess it would be Tyrone or something alike.

>>11680196
During academic year, we mostly see each other after seminars, 1-3 times a week. I spend all my evenings studying, reading and writing. I cut out all vidya and similar stuff out of my life, so even if I want to see her on the weekend, I have a ton of time for myself after. it's worth it, don't miss vidya in the slightest.

>> No.11680226

>>11680196
Abstaining from lascivious thoughts and sexually provocative stimuli.
It's explained in the quote with different language.

>> No.11680228

>>11680218
>someone who unironically uses the word 'vidya' has a girlfriend
She has to be a right minger

>> No.11680235

>>11680160
If you had ever been in a serious relationship you would know that there is at least some truth to what he says.

>> No.11680236

>>11680133
>Is it possible to have a girlfriend or a deep relationship with someone, while remaining focused on your literary activity?

Joyce managed to do that, as did Fitzgerald. Hemmingway too. And Hugo, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, etc. Should I go on? Even Cioran the miserable fuck wrote a dozen books about how much life sucks while married the entire time.

The answer yes, you absolutely can. You just fucking suck OP.

>> No.11680243

>>11680217
I wouldn't consider myself a happy and well-adjusted normie. I'm somewhat obsessive about literature and university & /lit/erary friends allow me to rant about literature a ton, just so that my gf and other friends don't have to listen about that, or listen to healthy amounts of it, mostly about my most personal stuff. I also come from an incomplete family of very difficult people and I've spent a great deal of my life being a poorfag. My gf is a supportive person, she's not very feminine in that sense, as most women I know suck your energy out and give little in exchange. I'm better off writing whenever I'm not dealing with anxiety (who isn't?), and she does her best to calm me down whenever I'm shaky.

I do believe that being in a relationship with some of her acquaintances would literally destroy my soul though.

>> No.11680247

>>11680228
Everyone on 4chan uses that term

>> No.11680249

>>11680133
I had a pretty similar experience and quit two relationships for the same reason. People deserve time and mental energy if you're with them ... resources that could be used on writing. Though given I prefer the latter, it never was a big dilemma.

>> No.11680250
File: 570 KB, 1174x730, gf.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11680250

>>11680133

>> No.11680254

>>11680209
Date women your own age once you are over 18

>> No.11680257

>>11680236
t. femanon or retard
The authors you mentioned had women who were like automata, perfect to keep a decent sexual life, but without any kind of pretence or nuisance.

Such women are extremely rare.

>> No.11680259

>>11680180
how's your fantasy/Sci-fi novel going you fucking fag. Genre fiction isn't real literature and doesn't belong on this board.

>> No.11680262

>>11680254
No.

>> No.11680264

>>11680259
I don't write genre fiction, why would you think that?

>> No.11680268

>>11680160
There are three subspecies of humans that live on this planet:
>Men
>Women (parasites)
>Submen (parasitized worker drones)

This post was either made by a woman (parasite) or a subman (parasitized worker drone). It is impossible to tell, because the subman takes on the ideology of his master, women, becoming a translucent husk whose only function is to reflect that ideology.

Women produce and emanate the ideology reflexively because it is their native condition. It's all they can see in the world. If a man is not obeying a woman, her brain will produce an error message and she will default to saying, "Well, I bet he's only doing that because he isn't one of my Chosen Pussy Squadron who is Worthy of my Sacred Pussy. That explains it. There can be no such thing as a man who does not want my great and powerful Pussy. So he must secretly crave my pussy, and he's angry that he can't get it; therefore, as with all other beings in reality, whose anchor is my Puss, he is still my slave. In fact, he is an even lower and more degraded form of slave, living out in the harsh chaotic wilderness, away from the pure awesome light of my divine cosmicizing Pussy, in pussy privation from the axis mundi." If you try to say to a woman, "No, really, excuse me, I have a wife and children already and I am not interested in your pussy," or if you say, "Ma'am, please stop telling me about how I must secretly crave your flaps. I am Francis of Assisi and I have a lot of work to do today, in fact just now I'm travelling to Tours," the woman will default back to the error message and begin calling St. Francis a beta male who can't get no Holy, Divine Pussy, the manifestly sole purpose for the universe existing, the ens realissimum around which all else orbits.

The subman has no thoughts per se, but repeats slogans and shibboleths that he has timidly introjected and now repeats mechanically whenever he sees the Sacred Pussy being mocked by wild barbarian men who still live in freedom. He too insists that the paradoxical free man must somehow be an illusion, must really be an even lower form of slave than he is himself. The existence of the free man is too painful. The only explanation for someone rejecting the awesome power of the Pussy, the only purpose of life, is that he must secretly crave it so badly that it has destroyed his mind and left him bitter and broken. The subman has no concepts and he is incapable of discursive thought. The pussy is his mysterium tremens and he desperately scrabbles at rites and formulas sufficient for venerating it. He travels the countryside chastizing men for not kowtowing to women, with a dry, rasping tongue. He is forever a slave to holes.

>> No.11680271

>>11680243
>I'm better off writing whenever I'm not dealing with anxiety

The absolute state of modern writers

>> No.11680273

>>11680145
>Grown-ass 35 year old men having snowball fights like little 10 year old faggots playing with their mommy, or laying in the grass at age 50 reading to a woman like she's a child
and while doing so that man is infinitely happier than you will ever be

>> No.11680274

>>11680257
>a couple manages to balance their professional life and their love life and not impose on each others activities while still maintaining a healthy sex life their entire lives.
>"doesn't count, they just use women as automata"

I'm going to guess you've never had a relationship with a woman and just spend too much time on 4chan and cultivate your own low opinion of women by not hearing anything else in this echo chamber of incels.

>> No.11680277

>>11680133
Self-actualization and women aren't compatible, you can't improve your state when you're always meeting a woman's own needs.

That's why women look for strong men that have everything figured out, they recognize they can only take from him and not add value to what is given.

>> No.11680278

>>11680273
happy belongs to the earthly world

>> No.11680285

>>11680254
Make me.

>> No.11680287

>>11680278
This. We've overcome women and desire and look to Heaven where we will be rewarded for our misery here on Earth

>> No.11680288

>>11680273
t. dresses up with his gf for halloween

>> No.11680298

>>11680271
Don't get me wrong anon. I'm a neurotic type like all /lit/izen and I do suffer from heavy melancholic personality. Writing requires some particular state of mind if you want to get 50 or 90 thousand words over some time, edit them and so on, and being in a constant anxious state does not help achieve it in the slightest.

I don't think that having a gf can single handedly fix a depressive personality and turn you into a mindless drone, I just think that being able to focus on your work for couple hours straight without a panic attack is way better for both you and your work.

>> No.11680302

>>11680278
>>11680287
This.

>> No.11680311
File: 925 KB, 212x176, 152983320917296995.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11680311

>>11680254
What a fag. Jesus you are pathetic

>> No.11680313

>>11680274
t. femanon

>> No.11680318

>>11680268
t. virgin

>> No.11680319

>>11680133
Having a GF is great, but she'll never be your equal. She's just a muse to distract you from the horro that is Life.

Then again maybe that's just me

>> No.11680321

>>11680298
>>11680243
Oh god, you sound insufferable

>> No.11680322
File: 132 KB, 1079x654, B1C3EB48-636B-4ED3-88C4-9E02E20F5ADE.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11680322

>>11680172
Autism level infinity

>> No.11680324

>>11680311
Dating 17 year old women when you are 25ish is predatory and creepy. Prove me wrong.

>> No.11680329

>>11680324
You're American. Checkmate. Fucking protestant prudes smdh

>> No.11680330

>>11680321
nice ad hominem. we're in a thread with posters like >>11680268 and you call me insufferable because I'm trying to give all the incels some hope and positive outlook on things.

>> No.11680331

>>11680318
You just BTFO his whole argument.

>> No.11680332

>>11680313
You're wrong, but since this was your only counter I take is a confirmation of my post.

>> No.11680334

>>11680321
Seconded. Imagine reading a fucking novel written by this guy. Jesus.

>> No.11680335

>>11680324
Some girls like older men, you're just mad they aren't into you

>> No.11680339

>>11680319
Yeah anon, the problem is that the good distraction requires a ton of work and dedication that you could invest for your /lit/ aspirations.

>> No.11680340

>>11680133
This is absolutely true. Women will only drain you, unless you find that rare unicorn who is just as independent as you.

>> No.11680341

>>11680334
don't worry, you will one day stop being an incel and your bitterness will go away.

>> No.11680347

>>11680341
>its not possible that I'm unlikeable, you must just be a bitter incel!

>> No.11680358

>>11680324
Stop being a retard, for Christ's sake

>> No.11680363

>>11680133
How do I get a gf /lit? I'm at the point now at 23, where I've finally become successful enough at what I do, and reduced my social anxiety through drugs enough that I've had at least a few girls show interest. I just have no idea what to actually do at that point. She's sitting there smiling at me, what the fuck goes on after that? I'm supposed to ask her out, right? but do I have to take on some sort of leadership persona at that point? like wtf

>> No.11680368

>>11680347
the entire conflict comes from the fact that I have a gf and this thread is filled with incels, of which some are rational and want to read something insightful, and some are utterly bitter and autistic.

maybe I phrased some thoughts in a manner that leads you to believe I'm pretentious, fine then, you have the right to your opinion. I'm not here to sound super pleasant, but to answer some people's questions with honesty.

>> No.11680375

>>11680368
Women belong to us, men of virtue, not degenerate feminist libcucks like you. Just wait till we turn it around, fucking faggot

>> No.11680376

>>11680368
please take my virginity

>> No.11680379

>>11680218
>no non whites in your country
>hoping to produce serious works
>successful relationship
something doesn't add up

>> No.11680386

>>11680368
>I have a gf>I have a gf>I have a gf>I have a gf>I have a gf>I have a gf>I have a gf

>> No.11680388

>>11680368
Not the guy you respond to, but lets be honest here. The only reason you made this thread is to say you have a girlfriend and as such get a bunch of incel replies (not using incels in a negative connotation). What did you expect? Not to be taken as a pretentious fuck?

>> No.11680389

>>11680363
Just imagine she was a dude who you want to get to know better.

>> No.11680392

>>11680375
>feminist libcucks
are you LARPing as a /pol/tard? I'm neither of these.
>men of virtue
so you're an Elliott Rodger fan?

>>11680376
beniz goes into vagina, sorry anon.

>>11680379
does it? care to extrapolate?

>> No.11680393

>>11680363
Trial and error is the only way I'm afraid.

>> No.11680394

>>11680389
Wait does this work? I have no issue getting to know guys, have many chad friends, but i totally sperg when it comes to women

>> No.11680397

>>11680363
Just imagine she's that high school coach you used to fuck during recess. Reach out and let the muscle memory guide you.

>> No.11680398

>>11680388
He's not the guy who made the thread, retard

>> No.11680399

>>11680368
It's a bit of both. Obviously the people responded to you were bitter incel brainlets, but your posts are written in a way that was bound to attract these people.

>> No.11680400

>>11680388
I did not start this thread.

>> No.11680406
File: 21 KB, 600x600, what.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11680406

>>11680398
>>11680400
Fine the *original post* of his line which has been painful to read, jesus fuck

>> No.11680408

>>11680389
my problem is that all of my good male friends became my good friends because they found me interesting enough to invite me to smoke weed often enough that we became close. I'm not good at creating activities on my own. I either do things myself or get invited to shit.

>> No.11680409

>>11680368
>a manner that leads you to believe I'm pretentious
you write like a dull cunt, sorry sweetheart

>> No.11680412

>>11680394
I'm having the same problem as you actually, however I'm not at the point in my life when I feel I'm in control yet so it's still quite hard to get pussy on tap like other men, however I'm attractive and funny so I can honestly tell you that treating a woman like she's a guy friend will get you what you want eventually.

>> No.11680421
File: 208 KB, 936x540, roman sex.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11680421

>>11680392
>beniz goes into vagina
Imbecile unmasked.

>> No.11680429

>>11680412
>I'm attractive and funny
cringe
>inb4 sorry bruh just being honest ;)

>> No.11680430

>>11680406
My first post was made so that I could help some fellow anons. If you get mad because I admitted that most 4chan posters, myself included, suffer from anxiety, then I really don't know how to help you.

>> No.11680435

>>11680165
I don't see why that would be true. I'm 33yo and "entusiastically get laid" by a 19yo with a sex blog who unironically loves sucking dick and having cum on her face - and exactly the access to blowjobs 3 days a week make it lose all value. Many days I rather fap, and art/science is generally more portant than girl

>> No.11680441

>>11680429
that actually hurt me

>> No.11680442

>>11680430
I'm not mad, but you seemed genuinly surprised people found you pretentious and so I thought to give you third person context/perspective

>> No.11680448

>>11680441
sorry bruh just being honest

>> No.11680450

>>11680133
>Is it possible to have a girlfriend or a deep relationship with someone, while remaining focused on your literary activity?
Yes you fucking pleb. The fact that you have to ask or are generally unsure is pathetic.

>> No.11680453

>>11680368
I think the actual problem here is another. You started your series of posts to show everyone that is possible to have a girlfriend and a satisfactory /lit/ life at the same time. Well, okay, but do you realize you're an exception, one case in a thousand? After a couple of posts you don't have anything else to demonstrate anymore and others have nothing to ask you. Stop repeating you have a girlfriend and you're successfull, this is cool but it doesn't help OP and all the incels of the thread.

>> No.11680454

>>11680442
I was genuinely not trying to be pretentious. I'm rather surprised by the amount of people outraged by the sole fact that someone on 4chan can have a gf.

>> No.11680456

>>11680408
Well, fuck. This is a lot like me. I was lucky enough to attract attention for girls who were more active, but I guess "wait until you happen to run into the right one" doesn't sound great. Obviously you could also always become more active yourself, use the friends you already have as inspiration for the activities. In the end people usually do pretty much the same crap either way and whether it's enjoyable or not depends on who's involved.

>> No.11680464

disastrous thread

>> No.11680468

>>11680435
>lying on the internet
cringe

>> No.11680480

>>11680464
Your tricks don't work on me, Jezebel.

>> No.11680484

>>11680145
>laying in the grass at age 50 reading to an attractive woman like she's a child
Implying this isn't the absolute pinnacle of life.

>> No.11680486

>>11680454
Nobody is *trying* to be pretentious, they come of as pretentious, usually because they have difficultues with perspectives.
People arent outraged by the "sole" fact that you have GF, nobody is even outraged, they are just appropriatly calling you out for the cunt you are

>> No.11680493

>>11680453
what I wanted to explain to people the most is that it doesn't have to be a 1 per 1000 exception. most posters here have little to no hope for their lives and I really wanted to convince them to have some. there are enough normie social media out there with zero anonymity for people who want to brag about their lives, it's funny how someone thought it's my main ambition.

>> No.11680499

Browning managed just fine, but let's be honest, most people on this board won't get even to the mira gonzales tier, gf or not.

>> No.11680505

>>11680486
I might come across as an overconfident cunt but hey at least I'm not an incel.

>> No.11680512
File: 30 KB, 400x400, smile.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11680512

>>11680505
Yeah, atleast you can get that rush...

>> No.11680524

>>11680493
>what I wanted to explain to people the most is that it doesn't have to be a 1 per 1000 exception
But how? You were only lucky to find a down-to-earth girlfriend who's satisfied with little and doesn't drain all your energies. How are other people going to learn from this? It's just luck.

>most posters here have little to no hope for their lives and I really wanted to convince them to have some
So idealistic and vague that sounds pathetic.

>> No.11680534

>>11680499
holy shit I just looked up her on the internet and she is everything I want to eradicate from the universe culturally.

>> No.11680547

>>11680454
God you are such an ass. Please never try and publish any of your shit.

>> No.11680558

>>11680547
how's that virginity feeling, anon? have you abandoned all hope yet?

>> No.11680561

>>11680558
You're getting mean now, and this says a lot on your alledged literary ability.

>> No.11680571

>>11680133
You just have to ask yourself if some of the greatest writers of all time had wives and what they accomplished despite this fact.
The answer is: They had wives, they fucked like rabbits, they were fucking drunk all the time and they still pulled more literature out of their sleeves in a month than any of the retarded chaste nofap incels on /lit/ who think they are above anyone else ever will in their whole lives.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with all you people?