/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.11609447]

Write what's on your mind!

[Anonymous No.11609450]

I can't write because I need reviews.

[Anonymous No.11609452]

>>11609447
a girl i was messaging with whom i shared a lot of common interests with randomly started replying with one word answers yesterday, and after she did this i noticed she'd unmatched me on tinder (we'd taken the conversation off tinder and i asked her why she did it in a lighthearted way and she said she deleted, i stopped replying after this)

she obviously found someone more attractive to message, it just seems pointless to try involving myself in romances when things like this happen, why bother investing time in another person when i could be working on getting myself into a far better situation in life? stupid biological urges

[Anonymous No.11609455]

That's not a rabbit. What is this?

[Anonymous No.11609485]

>>11609447
Insomnia, headaches and a general incapacity.
I came to the conclusion that I don’t avoid people in order to live quietly, but rather in
order to be able to die quietly.

[Anonymous No.11609495]

I hate being indecisive. I can't even make decisions on basic stuff without autistically overthinking it.

[Anonymous No.11609498]

>>11609447
I'm too apathetic.

[Anonymous No.11609524]

Haven't read Deleuze yet but read about his metaphysics. It bothers me. Identity to me is a foundation of logic. Can not one conceive of a possible universe with only one monad of matter with no comparison to anything else? Its existence would be self-contained. More so, if two things did ever have the same identity, could it not be that they become unified? Let's say two souls begin to have the same identity : they both lose their past individualized consciousness, but both become one new consciousness with a continuity of consciousness every step along the way.

[Anonymous No.11609544]

>>11609452
>uses tinder
> generalizes this to love in general
Don't waste time on tinder

[Anonymous No.11609565]

>>11609450
post, i will review

[Anonymous No.11609585]

It's no wonder inferno is the most read part of the Commedia. Paradiso is at times nearly incoherent, in my translation anyway. Purgatorio is fine, but understandably shelved sometimes because it's the middle part and purgatory isn't accepted in all areas of Christianity.

[Anonymous No.11609594]

>>11609565
It's on Amazon, several hundred pages long, and you'll need to have spent like 50 dollars on shit in order to be allowed to review anything.

[Anonymous No.11609629]

My sister got me a book on my birthday and she said the dude in the book was like me. She wasn't wrong but dude it was dark, it's her b-day soon and she's turning 20, what do I get her? Preferably edgy shit, I don't really read.

[Anonymous No.11609700]

We all get to a point in our lives where we sit and think "that's it, I can't take any more than this."
Then more gets added and then we think "okay that's it, I can't take any more than this"
Then more gets added and then we think "okay now that's it, I really can't take anymore of this"
Then more gets added and do you know what we do?
We take more of this.

[Anonymous No.11609756]

>>11609700
This sounded good while I was writing it, but after I posted it and reread it, it makes me sound like a sad high school girl.
Fuck

[Anonymous No.11609766]

i love my cat but sometimes he chews on my books

[Anonymous No.11610563]

I wish someone would talk to me about dragons

[Anonymous No.11610722]

>people are ignorant about things that they have no experience with or that do not concern them directly
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO NO NO NO N NONONONONONONONONO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS CANT BE HAPPENINGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.11610729]

>>11610563
Tell me about dragons.

[Anonymous No.11610734]

Oh, hey, I got a review. I'm happy.

[Anonymous No.11610737]

the weak should fear the strong

[Anonymous No.11610738]

>>11610563
>From Middle English dragoun, from Old French dragon, from Latin dracō, from Ancient Greek δράkων (drákōn, “a serpent of huge size, a python, a dragon”), probably from δραkεῖν (drakeîn), aorist active infinitive of δέρkομαι (dérkomai, “I see clearly”).

You as ostensibly an other through the murk of oblivion.

[Anonymous No.11610749]

>>11610563
>>11610738
>https://forum.thefreedictionary.com/postst175564_Etymology-of--dragon-.aspx
>The thing that fascinated me is the proto feature of 'dragon':
- the quick-glancing;
- terrible eyes;
- far-seeing;
- penetrating-sight;
- dartingly glancing;
- clearly seeing;
- deadly glance;
- something very formidable;
- to see strong;
- seeing one;
- sharp-sighted one;
- from his supposed sharp sight.

[Anonymous No.11610784]

>>11610729
Oh, well here is everything I have written recently about dragons

https://postsyntheticsocietalproject.wordpress.com/2018/08/12/yoko-taro-is-a-dragon-from-the-future/
https://dancefighterredux.wordpress.com/2018/08/06/draconic-lineage-a-contribution-to-racial-science-and-race-realism/

>>11610738
So a dragon is about bicamerally failing the mirror test? Or am I reading too much into this.

>>11610749
The Japanese Kanji for "to understand" is 分, which is the character for "sword" inside the character for "8", which is in turn a reference to the slaying of the 8 headed dragon of chaos in the Konjaku Monogatari Shu. Symbolically, understanding in Japanese is represented by the a sword in a dragon: the destruction of the literal embodiment of chaos.

[Anonymous No.11610791]

>>11610729
Oh, well here is everything I have written recently about dragons

https://postsyntheticsocietalproject.wordpress.com/2018/08/12/yoko-taro-is-a-dragon-from-the-future/
https://dancefighterredux.wordpress.com/2018/08/06/draconic-lineage-a-contribution-to-racial-science-and-race-realism/

>>11610738
So a dragon is about bicamerally failing the mirror test? Or am I reading too much into this.

>>11610749
The Japanese Kanji for "to understand" is 分, which is the character for "sword" inside the character for "8", which is in turn a reference to the slaying of the 8 headed dragon of chaos in the Kojiki. Symbolically, understanding in Japanese is represented by the a sword in a dragon: the destruction of the literal embodiment of chaos.

[Anonymous No.11610867]

I find it difficult to talk to people,even those whom I've known for most of my life,namely my own step-brother, for whom I live with. I don't know if it is the main culprit but I was cooped up in a room for what felt like, and what I can remember, of most of my middle school years.I can make something that resembles a conversation, but afterwards I still feel empty and lonely.

there are people who say they like me,however some rouge process in my head finds something,anything, to doubt the legitimacy of their claims, some insignificant infinitesimal thing that when viewed from the correct, twisted, angle casts a shadow of doubt on all of their intentions. I do not know or pretend to understand how someone will react to what I say, or what I do, or who I say it,etc. there are too many factors for me to list here. it frankly scares me that just a few feet in-front of me is a being capable of doing anything to me at any moment. It is because of this fear I close myself off and only freely express myself when alone or behind the mask of anonymity.

This becomes a problem whenever I have one of my frequent, and often intense depressive episodes where I often lucidly fantasize and plan my own suicide. Simply put: I hate myself. I hate how fucking pretentious this posts sounds, but it's either that or a mostly incoherent string of sentences drawn from the the messy clew of emotions that I may be feeling at that moment.

maybe this is a result of my compulsive desire to second guess my every movement, word and thought. It's quite torturous to have a to dwell upon.Recently and relatedly, I have been questioning my own sexuality. I have come to have doubts due to a certain trail of thoughts ventured during my hours of perfunctory work which went something along the lines of: If I truly am Bisexual then why does not being attractive to women bother so much? why does the the though of dating men only come after thoughts of loneliness?

[Anonymous No.11610977]

WTF I love antinatalism now?

[Anonymous No.11611039]

>>11610791
>So a dragon is about bicamerally failing the mirror test?

Something like that. From the principle of Subjective Idealism all Phenomena are incidental to the good of the Monad, God, perfect Self-reflection; but still fully it, "inside" rather than "outside". The temptation to assume the Phenomenal world as qualitatively Objective arises from the same choice you have when being confronted with something you wrote but forgot, and forgot that you forgot, but inferred no "external" Ontology simply through your immanent anamnesis. The forgotten Phenomenal, in ignorance of its fundamental truth of being the Subject itself, assumes awful figures of beings whose light is on but who can only refract, not reflect.

Related: >>11600968

[Anonymous No.11611067]

>>11609452
What's stupid is reducing the need to connect entirely with another person to biology, dismissing the spiritual/ aesthetic/ rational underpinnings of two psychological identities in intimate harmony

[Anonymous No.11611073]

>>11609447
The universe is infinite and there are infinite versions of me out there.

[Anonymous No.11611080]

>>11611073
Dude I frickin love Rick and Morty too!

[Anonymous No.11611116]

I think that often there should be more sex in some people's lives.

[Anonymous No.11611132]

>>11609447
I learned on Wednesday that I have genital herpes.

[Anonymous No.11611139]

I should be reading.
I should have been reading yesterday.
I haven't read all week.
Am I afraid of wisdom?
Afraid that it will imbue me with assignment, and end this comfortably numb life?
I could have read so much by now.

[Anonymous No.11611166]

>>11609700
Sometimes there's a rare moment when someone else copes with the things you're carrying and they proclaim with surprise that it's hard. They wonder if you even feel it.

And you want to beat the person who's come the closest to understanding you in a long time. That's funny, isn't it? It's not the ignorance that hurts, but that little burst of comprehension causing all that pressurized sewage to rush toward the moment as if it were a puncture wound.

[Anonymous No.11611244]

>>11611080
I've never watched any episode of rick and morty.

[Anonymous No.11611289]

What is the proper way to look at a lifetime of existence?
What is its most correct definition, one by which we all can follow?
Why do I whimper at the thought of its conclusion, rather than celebrate the opportunity I've been given?

I desire a life where happiness is contentedness, rather than a constant pursuit in the quest to be greater. One of my close friends once said that if all he had was a single, small room with a computer to play games on, he'd be completely satisfied. I thought, with complete confidence at the time, that he suffered from depression, so I prompted him to take an evaluation by a psychiatrist. He cleared all tests.

Years later, he's the same person now that he's always been, and has acquired a loving, albeit homely looking wife, a house, and two dogs. From my perspective, the man's happiness has only grown, while mine diminished.

Why seek an abstract concept in the first place? The idea is absurd to me now.

[Anonymous No.11611311]

I'm not keeping up with deadlines and it's turning me into a shut-in that's afraid of his phone. All I want to do all day is lounge around with the windows open and avoid everyone.

[Anonymous No.11611390]

>>11609447
I've been waking up with terrible bouts of sleep paralysis since I dropped out of college. I should've been awake much earlier today, but somehow that wasn't the case. Half of the day is already gone, and I haven't done anything. This isn't new, and I don't expect it to stop anytime soon.

[Anonymous No.11611573]

I've had the realization that the secret which I fear telling others will prevent me from ever truly being 100% honest with a significant other, and ultimately, I cannot ask for another's complete and utter honesty knowing I cannot provide the same. Am I okay with that? With being with someone who's capable of hiding something from me, especially something of that nature?

>I have a secret. I will not tell you. I will not tell you now. I will not tell you in the future. The secret involves me, and me only. It was something I did, by myself, for myself. It was wrong, and I have not done it again since. It did not affect other people. This is the only secret I will never tell anyone else.

[Anonymous No.11611587]

years after the fact i still love the title 'eeeee eee eeee'
will never read the book, never in a million years, but that sound pops into my head every other day

[Anonymous No.11611626]

>>11611289
Get lost in the warmth of ancient ritual or focus on the cold of its empty abstraction

[Anonymous No.11611644]

>tfw a /lit/ poster btfo your field of study again
What major should I switch to this time?

[Anonymous No.11611647]

>>11609700
>>11609756
Based samefag

[Anonymous No.11611930]

Difference breeds strife

[Anonymous No.11612030]

I write articles for an online magazine but I haven't gotten in much work for it lately. I truly love doing it though, so I've been considering looking around for other magazines or websites that are looking for writers.
I stumbled upon those services where you get paid to translate or write content. Has anyone done something similar before, or is it all a meme? Seems like a decent way to do my writing and get a few extra bux in.

[Anonymous No.11612113]

I'm 24 didnt go to college, monolingual, grew up in a poor and retarded family... I feel like I'm just wasting my time trying to get into literature or any kind of intellectual pursuit and just feel like its to late already since my brain is basically fully developed and Im still poor as shit and couldnt afford decent schooling. I want to die. Pure brainlet.

[Anonymous No.11612131]

>>11612113
>And everywhere an indecent haste prevails, as though something would be missed if the young man of 23 were not yet ‘finished’, did not yet know the answer to the ‘main question’: which occupation?—A higher kind of man, if I may be forgiven for saying so, does not like ‘occupations’, precisely because he knows he has a calling... He has time, he takes his time, he does not even think of getting ‘finished’—at thirty you are, in the sense of high culture, a beginner, a child.

You always have time anon

[Anonymous No.11612155]

I don't think you can really shame anyone for being ignorant unless it is entirely willful. The better thing to do is to teach them what they were never taught.

[Anonymous No.11612163]

>>11612131
i had a sudden shift towards this perspective when i was 22. the sense of urgency just completely departed and was replaced with a desire to just slowly and steadily accumulate knowledge for the next few decades

[Anonymous No.11612169]

>>11611930
Oh, but when they coalesce toward some greater purpose, how each shines in their own unique way; reinforcing the strengths of the others.

Goddamn is it work to bring them together and keep them aligned. Deeply fulfilling work that silences existential calls to nihilism. Despite the frustrating parameters of my existence, I sometimes pity the incredibly privileged for never knowing the satisfaction of this particular type of work.

Occupy never would have come about if Tumblr, Reddit, and 4chan had not aligned in their assessment that Wall St had to be held accountable. It never would have continued as it did if each faction was not respected. Tumblr representing the All, Reddit the Other, and 4chan the Self. The problem was our assumption that the establishment understood how to right the issue and simply was not doing it. As if there was a switch to fix everything somewhere and they were staunchly refusing to flip it.

[Anonymous No.11612186]

>>11612169
>Oh, but when they coalesce toward some greater purpose, how each shines in their own unique way; reinforcing the strengths of the others.
Never happens.

[Anonymous No.11612187]

Finished a short today, and I'm actually pretty happy with it. Should I try to get it published /lit/? I don't enjoy all the meme networking shit the literature industry seems to love these days, but maybe I could find a smaller journal or something.

>>11611644
Some kind of math + programming would probably be good from a job perspective. It's allowed me to LARP as a professional for a couple years while working five hour weeks. I doubt I can keep it up indefinitely though.

[Anonymous No.11612325]

>>11612131
>And everywhere an indecent haste prevails, as though something would be missed if the young man of 23 were not yet ‘finished’, did not yet know the answer to the ‘main question’: which occupation?—A higher kind of man, if I may be forgiven for saying so, does not like ‘occupations’, precisely because he knows he has a calling... He has time, he takes his time, he does not even think of getting ‘finished’—at thirty you are, in the sense of high culture, a beginner, a child.

what did he mean by this? i´m a brainlet so forgive me

[Anonymous No.11612365]

>>11611244
Thats even worse

[Anonymous No.11612430]

SHIPPLE STIPPLE SPINDLEY PEBBLE PEOPLE PITIFUL
TOTEM TOTAL TONIGHT
YABBA DABBA
UH
WHATCHU GONNA
YABBA DABBA DO ABOUT IT NIGGA

[Anonymous No.11612467]

I'm tired of idealogues who follow an empty materialistically abstract pursuit for the sake of it and people looking for themselves but completely ignore their self and unconscious. I'm starting to think I was born with mild psychosis and have been wondering about going to a psychiatrist about some hallucinations I experienced a year ago but the last time I went I got some frail guy who told me he had never been able to do a pull up in his life and then asked me if I wanted to kill people out of the blue, my experience wasn't very good.
I'm 20 and feel old. This was dumb.

[Anonymous No.11612483]

>>11612467
dont trust normies

[Anonymous No.11612601]

>>11611573
Just tell us, you pussy.

[Anonymous No.11612604]

I don't want a fucking degree, I want to learn

[Anonymous No.11612614]

>>11612483
I kinda forget that most people are just solely made out of their own conscious thoughts and external perceptions, building a materialistic person out of ideological single colored clay. I am edgy.

[Anonymous No.11612619]

Remember when Spock in one of Trek movies had the retraining of his mind in st4?

I'm thinking of a series of books that would help me retrain my mind. Honestly I got really sick like 6 years back and ever since then my intelligence went down noticeably.

[Anonymous No.11612622]

>>11612604
Same, I absolutely hate it.

[Anonymous No.11612629]

>>11611573
Ah yes, the jews. hohoho.

[Anonymous No.11612638]

Why is writing with more detail than "he did this and then he did this" so hard for me? Why do I have the literal capability of an elementary schooler?

[Anonymous No.11612774]

>>11612638
Add some description brah
>he did this
>it was like that
>then he did this
>he felt this way about this
etc

[Anonymous No.11612807]

I'm writing a short fantasy romance story.

[Anonymous No.11612868]

I wonder if he'll remember.

[Anonymous No.11612880]

I hate anime and I hate plebs and I hate you

[Anonymous No.11612885]

>>11612880
>I hate anime
Even Bebop?

[Anonymous No.11612900]

>>11612774
holy.... i want more...

[Anonymous No.11612906]

>>11612900
Thanks anon, you can find more of my work in the New Yorker and the Paris Review

[Anonymous No.11612917]

>>11612906
yes

[Anonymous No.11612931]

>>11612885
especially bebop

[Anonymous No.11612949]

>>11609447
i am in a strange place, i have recently sorted out a few things in my life which were extremely bad, but other things remain in chaos. I am still alternating every few days between different 'modes' and within each day every few hours between different 'submodes'.

I think i am just like this, it started happening really badly when i was like 16, reached a fever pitch when I was 22, and has calmed a little since. My behavior has become more erratic though, that is to say violent and disconnected from discernable goals.

The past month has been pretty good, no violence, no arrests, have a job, am reading things I like and writing my poems, working out a bit, but still drinking a lot, very confused about how exactly to go forward.

My mind is dominated by this central desire i usually cant articulate but that occcasionally surfaces in moments or periods of unimaginable bliss and understanding. A lot of the time i am just confused, weak, angry and afraid.

I have a set of paths before me i suppose, one is that i fix all this somehow, maybe see a doctor and am healed and be normal, two is that i go back to the intense beauty periods and everything is lit with them again, and 3 is that i kill myself. When i look at it on the whole i think 3 makes the most sense, because 1 would remove why i live, and 2 would end in misery again. I dont think this is a bad thing though, i think some people are meant to exist just for a bit and then die, because they would only harm those around them and themselves if they continued- and all people die, so death itself cannot be evil inthat sense, we have our allotted portion of time and it is different for different people. We do what we could to make beauty for ourselves and others and then it is over. And when it is all forgotten it will still be beautiful that it happened, it will always have happened.

[Anonymous No.11612973]

>>11612949
Don't kill yourself anon. That should never be an option. You're still young and everyone has the ability to change, no matter how late they think it is. It might sound cliche but I would suggest simple lifestyle changes. Curb all of your destructive habits and addictions as soon as possible.

[Anonymous No.11613007]

>>11612973
what im saying anon is that it might be a normal thing for people like me. I know life is beautiful and i appreciate your sentiment in wanting me not to, but like i said, we all die right? there is a time we will die, and it has to happen, and it isn't necessarily so bad that it happens earlier, the beauty you experience was still there, and things could get much worse and why would you want to add negative things to the universe?

i know our culture really doesn't liek suicide, but some other cultures had different views on it, it isn't a universal human truth

[Anonymous No.11613050]

>>11612949
Please kill yourself

[Anonymous No.11613064]

>>11613050
that is the plan, but what are your particular reasons for wanting me to die, so i can see if they align with my own

[Anonymous No.11613066]

>>11613007
Suicide is a sin. You are destroying everything that He gave you.

[Anonymous No.11613079]

>>11613066
i can't believe Jesus was divine because of the fig tree and the moneylenders. the reason i liked him was because he responded only with love and building, even to that which attacked him. Those two moments ruined it for me when I finally read the New Testament. I have seen in my own life that being universally merciful is the path to grace, but we cannot follow it

I think jesus was just extremely aligned to the transcendent reality, but not divine.

[Anonymous No.11613081]

Slam poem anon where are you? Post another

[Anonymous No.11613091]

>>11613066
Dont enable him

[Anonymous No.11613095]

>>11610563
What keeps pissing me of is the "dnd-ification" of dragons, somehow a snake with wings is not a dragon and neither is the same creature but with 2 limbs since only a 4-legged winged lizard is a "proper" dragon.
It seems to me people conflate heraldic depictions of dragon with some kind of pseudo-biological classification, however that is not my issue in itself but rather that these same people defend their idea to the death.
It's okay to play with systems but don't pretend they have some sort of eternal authority over myth and fiction.

[Anonymous No.11613100]

>>11613079
Why cant you follow it?

[Anonymous No.11613110]

>>11613100
because we are fallen things, even in christianity we cannot be like jesus. we are broken

[Anonymous No.11613123]

>>11613091
enable me to what?

[Anonymous No.11613135]

>>11613110
That sounds like a weak reason

[Anonymous No.11613136]

>>11613064
Why would you kill yourself? Just stick around and see if anything interesting happens. It makes no difference in the end but at least if you stick around you might see something beautiful.

[Anonymous No.11613159]

>>11613135
have you ever known or heard of a person like Jesus?

[Anonymous No.11613184]

I can't stop picking at scabs on my legs from bug bites

I'm going to have scars all the fuck over my body because I actually went outside this summer

[Anonymous No.11613201]

>>11613184
Unless you're tearing your flesh apart, those heal you know.

[Anonymous No.11613418]

Anyone want to start a /lit/ expat community in Montreal?
Pros:
>french speaking
>LARP as les Années Folles
>cheaper than Paris
>less poor black people
>closer to our moms
>reference to infinite jest

Cons:
>have to live in canada

[Anonymous No.11613423]

My grandmother is going into hospice soon. She's been fighting cancer for seven years and they're finally out of options.
I'm trying to deal with it.
I'm glad that she's going to pass before becoming too old to enjoy life. Her mother was a voracious reader and losing her sight was incredibly hard for her.
She is one of my closest relatives. I probably picked up my most virtuous personality traits from her. She's the type who can come up with a cheeky little joke in any situation, and she would laugh harder than anyone at it.
Death isn't something that has ever really bothered me. It's inevitable. It's certain. There's nothing you can do about it. I know she has earned her right to be done with this shit. She's put on such a brave face for so long. It just seems cruel to be told "it was all for naught, and you're out of time."
I just really hope she's ready.

[Anonymous No.11613426]

>>11613418
I'm graduating this year and as a semi-depressed lonely aimless youth I would unironically be up for meme ventures like this.

[Anonymous No.11613434]

>>11613184
Stop scratching!

[Anonymous No.11613468]

I am thinking about going back to work doing something I hate and so disgustingly Sisyphean it made me contemplate suicide. I only got it through nepotism and nowhere else will hire me that I apply to and I don't have the courage to start and potentially fail something on my own, I don't think. I have the capital for it (it's not even much to get started small) but I don't want to fail. I don't really want to go back to work and hate it either, though. It's simple work I know I can do since I did it but it's mind-numbing and isn't me. My own thing is low maintenance but could be fickle and it's slow to start in any meaningful way. It would make me feel like I am doing something positive instead of something Sisyphean, though.

I told myself when I quit that I would do something and that was three or four months ago. I have done nothing of worth. Just puttered around the house and slept. That is all.

Should I take the chance or just give in to the futility of life and make $9.50 an hour for eight, miserable hours a night? It's a hard choice for me, as stupid as that sounds.

[Anonymous No.11613488]

>>11613468
follow ur dreams, anon
if it doesn't work out, you could go back to the shit job until you can try again

[Anonymous No.11613492]

There's so much time in the day and still I fall short of making it spent worthwhile. Not too long from now I will be extremely busy, and then I'm suddenly supposed to make use of the thinning time left in the day? It just won't happen. I get tired too quickly now, and its unlikely I won't come home from work and just go to bed. For now I'm young enough that there are still possibilities for me, but tomorrow I may wake up too old to dream.

That's when I hope I have the guts to either die or run.

[Anonymous No.11613499]

>>11613488

That is an idea, yeah. It is hard though, I must say. Better to have crashed and burned than to never have flown at all? I am so full of self doubt these past few years which is why I even hesitate. Younger me would have already been started and either failed or would have thrived. I am a shadow of my former self. A hollow echo of sorrow and doubt.

[Anonymous No.11613510]

>>11613418
>>11613426
i will join too once i get my first one published

[Anonymous No.11613582]

the next night we ate whale
the next night we ate whale
the next night we ate whale
the next night we ate whale

[Anonymous No.11613612]

Why did the janny just delete that leaf thread? It was pretty civil discussion, even if it wasn't 100% /lit/. Fuck you janny.

[Anonymous No.11613628]

>>11613418
>wanting to live as an expat in canada of all places
Don't come to this shithole while most people are trying to leave it. Especially if you're from the US, you're much better off.

[Anonymous No.11613725]

>>11613628
how do people like you become this disconnected from reality

[Anonymous No.11613871]

>>11613725
My post was a bit of an exaggeration but I'm not completely wrong. Mass immigration has completely changed the face of my country and will continue to do so until the British culture and principles upon which it was founded are but a distant memory. This along with our joke of a government, rising cost of living (with living standards dropping and a general worsening economy, propped up on a welfare state which is not sustainable at our current population growth levels), and reducing liberties make it less and less attractive to live here.

[Anonymous No.11613962]

I jerked my pathetic prick and aimed at mouth of the toilet, only to have my jism splat against the tile floor, a reproach to my thoughtlessness. My breathing slowed as my senses returned to my worthless, stupid body. “God, I hate myself,” I thought aloud as I knelt down on my hands and knees and licked up the cum.

[Anonymous No.11614050]

>>11613418
>>11613628
montreal is not canada

[Anonymous No.11614532]

>>11609447
I have seen in this board about fasting while reading. I tried it by eating one meal a day for 3 days.

It's true that it made me feel better and more focused. However by objective measurement I don't think it's really helping.
I noticed that while I felt more focused on my hobby reading, and I indeed read longer, I became unwilling to do a small task I am obligated to do on my job. I just feel too weak and tired doing it. As of my reading I think I only read one book activelytoday. The other books I read became random and fragmented in my mind.

The worst part is when I picked up a fruit, I became hesitant to eat it, because I didn't want to "break" the current state. I have heard about this happening to anorexic girls. Now I feel it.
I must find a way to break the procrastination on that small task.

[Anonymous No.11614643]

I can't deal with the passing of time. I always feel I'm trapped in its grasp. I keep thinking I'm running out of times to do things and I make plans to do X for an hour and then do Y for an hour. I feel useless when I spend too much time doing nothing. I have such a hard time relaxing from all of this and sometimes I get the feeling I can never quite calm down. I haven't gotten proper sleep most of this summer.
Sometimes I wonder if all of this and my other troubles warrant therapy, but they seem so small in comparison to what other people go through.

[Anonymous No.11614649]

I really want to go to the twenty one pilots concert but tickets are like $200. I could afford it but that's a lot.

Also I don't have anyone to go with.

Sometimes you have to bleed to know
That youre alive and have a soul
It takes someone to come around
And show you how

She's the tear in my heart
I'm alive
She's the tear in my heart
I'm on fire
She's the tear in my heart
Take me higher
Than I've ever been

[Anonymous No.11614876]

I've lost my sense of purpose. I used to have grand ambitions and an incredible work ethic. Now i just feel depressed and isolated even though i have a solid and supportive friendship circle. I'm 18 and in my last year of high school. I don't have a girlfriend unlike many of my friends so i feel envious. I have this vision of sacrificing my entire life towards a singular pursuit, but i just don't have the discipline anymore. Each day i sink deeper and deeper into despair. My grades are dropping as a result. I don't have a job. I want to get out of this rut but every time i try i feel this nagging doubt at the back of my mind that my dream is worthless. i'm not posting here to attention-seek and i understand this sounds cringe-y, but it's my stream of consciousness and i have no other outlet to post this in.

[Anonymous No.11615048]

>>11614876
You're going to suffer immensely because you're me three years ago. My only advice is to not rush off to college to study a subject you don't care about because you don't have anything else to do and your parents wanted you to.

>I have this vision of sacrificing my entire life towards a singular pursuit
Simply not realistic, if you were going to be able to do this you wouldn't be posting here complaining that you can't. This is probably a good thing though, most "driven" people just fall for the careerism meme and waste away into nothing. Tolstoy was incredibly lazy and gambled and drank all the time and he still produced GOAT works of fiction.

>this nagging doubt at the back of my mind that my dream is worthless
I mean it probably is, but so is everyone else's dream. So go for it, but don't get too upset if it shatters. You can always make another.

also,
> I don't have a girlfriend unlike many of my friends so i feel envious.
There's still time anon, just ask someone out for coffee or something. It's easier than you think.

[Anonymous No.11615086]

my head hurts. i feel the pain pumping constantly. one hour and fifty minutes left at work, then commute home for 45 minutes and i can finally take some painkillers and fall asleep.

[Anonymous No.11615185]

>>11614643
I had similar feeling. We have to ignore that feeling and try to stay on topic.

All those worrying won't get us any where.

[Anonymous No.11615201]

>>11614876
>I have this vision of sacrificing my entire life towards a singular pursuit
It's probably not practical anyway. Most people, Even those with purpose, do multiple things here and there. It's just that when their screen time is very short they appear as a single facet person

[Anonymous No.11615228]

Oh snap my second orchid is starting to bloom it's gonna be a good day comrades.

[Anonymous No.11615238]

Does excessively drinking regularly for an extended period of time cause brain damage?

For the past few months I've been getting drunk 3-4 times a week. Will that affect my brain processes? Sometimes I feel like I've gotten less intelligent. Recently I've been struggling to fluently process thought and end up having small scattered ideas.

Is that from the drinking or am i just a fucking dummy?

[Anonymous No.11615271]

I need a new job

[Anonymous No.11615343]

>>11615185
>had
Did you get rid of it?
I think this feeling mostly creeps up on me when I have too much free time. When I'm working or being social, so when I have a schedule to stick to, it's better.
Time was so easy to handle when I was still in school and every day was a tiny bit different. Now it's all just dull monotony.

[Anonymous No.11615440]

>>11614643
At least you feel like you're wasting something, my life feels like it ought to have logically ended a year ago but continues to stubbornly persist.

[Anonymous No.11615590]

>>11613095

I once had someone authoritatively state "dragons don't eat people" based on motherfucking Dragonriders of Pern. Like, that was apparently his hill to die on, that Pern was absolute word of god for all dragons.

[Anonymous No.11615594]

>>11615238
Alcoholism is extremely damaging and increases your likelihood of dementia later in life. Serious alcoholics ultimately develop severe memory problems.

[Anonymous No.11615645]

>>11613066

It is not a sin. It is merely useless when performed mechanically in the hope for external deliverance.

[Anonymous No.11615671]

I started to read Plato and made my way through Charmides and The Apology. I want to make into a thing where I'll go through the history of philosophy up until maybe Marcuse's later stuff. Plato, Aristotle, Descartes, Spinoza, Liebniz, Locke, Hobbes, Machiavelli, Mill, Bentham, Kant, Schelling, Hegel, Feuerbach, Marx, Frankfurt School, wertkritik, LTV/TRPF study... Not necessarily in that order. In terms of actual philosophy I've only made my way through about 1/4 of Capital Vol I, TGI and Grundrisse. I have two more explanatory books I'm half way through.

I would interlace it with reading "classics", at least so I can enrich myself, maybe write something of my own. You know, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Dante, Ibsen, Joyce, Kafka, and some others like Murakami. In truth, I want to like reading and I can get really engrossed in a book, but the motivation is never there to pick up the e-reader to begin with. I can't afford even second hand paper books.

But I want to do other things too, like learn the piano (and especially music theory so I can compose my own stuff), learn Japanese. I have also made a little progress on these things. But I find that most of my time is actually spent in front of the computer, playing Overwatch or watching old Simpsons episodes, arguing and posturing as if I have the slightest idea what I'm talking about on the topic of inconsequential rubbish on Reddit.

Cognitive dissonance keeps me up at night, conflict between liberal ideas like freedom of speech and Marxism/feminism. I don't know much on these topics but I want to find resolutions, not just rationalisations. It's especially bad since I pretty much only fap to loli shit.

Now my next year of uni begins, I study electronic engineering, something I never wanted to do. Picture unrelated, it's one I took in Japan a few years ago. I hope someone can enjoy it, maybe.

[Anonymous No.11615718]

My life seems to work in phases, sometimes I happy for weeks and then sad for no reason for weeks. My tastes in porn also rotate, I´ve been through NTR, Futa, Trap, BBC, Caption and other shit phases.

I´m neither on medication nor do I have a diagnosed mental illness, mostly because I fear the shrink because I don´t want to tell him how I feel. I fear that I am sick and don´t want to tell him my secrets.

I finally started writing again, so something is going right.

I´m on my forth beer of the day.

[Anonymous No.11615768]

>>11615718
That sounds like bipolar disorder to me, anon.

t. shrink

[Anonymous No.11615771]

>>11615718
No one fucking sees a psychiatric for no reason without pharmacological trearment unless it's by court mandate... You don't mean a psychologist because they can't Rx in most states. Regardless, neither can force it on you unless you're an outpatient of a psychiatric or again, the result of a legal mandate from a crime.
What the fuck did you do?
What are you diagnosed with?

It's sad that you are almost gloating over the fact that you're getting drunk and indulge in pornography as though it's just part of life.

If you're sick, quit the porn. Quit the bottle. Theyre only going to exacerbate whatever it is you have.

[Anonymous No.11615776]

>>11615771
>psychiatric
Psychiatrist*
>outpatient of a psychiatric *institution*

[Anonymous No.11615782]

>>11615671
gb2reddit faggot

[Anonymous No.11615785]

>>11615782
Why the hostility?

[Anonymous No.11615792]

>>11609629
What book?

[Anonymous No.11615813]

>>11609452
Ikr. Same thing happened to me too.(we knew each others for 3-4 years though) At this point I have lost any form of interest in romance and stuff. I just don't have any energy left, to make an effort anymore
>>11609544
Happened to me multiple times, and I've never used tinder

[Anonymous No.11615834]

>>11609447
>back from a couple of weeks of travel / visiting friends
>quitting two of my part time jobs for a third job in my field
>accepting admission to an MBA fast track
Seems everything's going my way. So why do I feel dead inside?
Footnote: ex gf misses me and wants to talk. I don't have any words for her. I wonder if she still loves me.

[Anonymous No.11615842]

>>11609447
I punctuated my life with little sandbar vacations that elicit a little memoireic feeling only conveyable through the terminology of "Idyllic" with a fragrance of familial romance and idleness that allowed me to ride the ebb of my life in the most pleasing manner I'll ever have. I remember, four years prior to this date, looking at the waves and trying to become smarter. I worshipped genius because I was nothing else and could not dare to become anything else. I wanted my consciousness to grow beyond the confines of my past, the languages of my thoughts, and the society that it encompassed. I needed books. Now, I'm isolated in my dreams, their sounds becoming a symphony that only I can hear or transpose, and living it, in this inscrutiable belief that I have stolen this power of thought from some ill-fated God, fills me with a remorse that is almost cathartic. I don't want to slide into idiocy, but losing my cousins to thinking of them as non-entities in deep thought and the choreography of mind, my parents to non-sequiturs and uncategorical thinking, and my friends to ignorance. I slowly decompose from this world. I have reached the heights I chased, I can write better than I've dreamed and with more vigor than one should have, but the heights are lonely and the shallows are deep. I'm afraid that I'll come across as an idiot because I dare call myself anything but a fool, but in my company I wear a heavy scepter and look at the stars as they fall in its gradient.

[Anonymous No.11615854]

>>11615771
I´m not diagonsed with anything because I never went to a Psychiatrist (Never had to). I don´t want to got to one because I don´t want to tell him my secrets.

I also don´t take drugs or drink too much for the same reason as I don´t want to spill my beans around friends and family.

[Anonymous No.11615859]

>>11610729
They are big guys

[Anonymous No.11615870]

>>11615842
hahahahahaha

[Anonymous No.11615901]

I really like this quote by Agness Kaku. It applies perfectly to literature.

[Anonymous No.11615989]

>Everyone recommends me to read German for Reading when I say I want to learn german
>100 pages in it starts hitting you with these
Based and redpilled

[Anonymous No.11616037]

>>11615989
What book is that?

[Anonymous No.11616042]

>>11615901
Unironically what motivates me to not cloister myself in my room all day desu.

[Anonymous No.11616084]

>>11610867
I hope you feel solace in other people, sooner or later, like I did

I discovered that being alone made me miserable or about so, and hanging out with "my" people made me feel better

I was lucky in discovering these people, but not as much as I would think initially: overcoming my shyness and discovering my extroversion were efforts that came from myself, while I admit, these efforts were catalyzed by already-extroverted-friendly people.

Point is: be a good friend and eventually everything will fall in place. In my case it worked. Wish you well friend

[Anonymous No.11616092]

>>11616037
German for Reading

Maybe you need English for Reading haha but seriously it's a very good book. Teaches you how to read German specifically for the humanities

[Anonymous No.11616120]

Moved back to my parent's house after 2 years of living in Japan. Been a NEET for 3 weeks as of today. Applied, half-arsedly, for four jobs. Have no hard skills, specific desires, or particularly relevant work experience. Starting to dream of wage slavery.

[Anonymous No.11616122]

>>11616120
What were you doing in Japan?

[Anonymous No.11616126]

>>11615870
You too, anon. You too.

[Anonymous No.11616156]

>>11616122

I was on the JET Programme. Worked 8:30-4:15, lived in the center of a good city, and had a reasonably large social circle. Since moving back, I haven't established a life for myself, and find my days spent listlessly and unprofitably. No idea what to do. CBA for wage slavery for the sake of wage slavery, but don't have any particular goals or desires.

[Anonymous No.11616168]

Postal service is being a gorilla nigger again. DELIVER ME MY FUCKING BOOKS YOU DISGUSTING MONKEYS

[Anonymous No.11616325]

>>11616120
disgusting weeb

[Anonymous No.11616384]

>>11616120
>Moved back to my parent's house
First mistake desu, don't fall for the living with your parents meme unless you absolutely cannot afford something else

[Anonymous No.11616453]

>>11616092
I'm curious as to whether this actually teaches you the language? Obviously not conversationally, but does it teach the ability to use the language outside of just reading? i.e for writing, too?

[Anonymous No.11616602]

I'm embarking on a two and half month sojourn to Europe tomorrow. I'll be in Scandinavia for a bit then heading to Switzerland and Northern Italy. I'm not nearly as excited as I should be, really the only thing I'm looking forward to is being out of my shitty hometown and in a place with cooler weather. I suppose this is depression, even after shaking the daily suicide ideation and existential anxiety I'm still apathetic and unmotivated. Is this all life is, boredom? I'm hoping that throwing myself into a new environment will help me "find myself" or "blossom" or whatever meme terms people use. I'm not confident though.

[Anonymous No.11616669]

>>11616602

A stab in the dark. Try be with people. Doesn't really matter what kind of people. Your brain will analyze yourself through them afterwards. Get stupid it'll pay off.

[Anonymous No.11616784]

>>11616168
>not downloading ebooks and reading them straight away

[Anonymous No.11617483]

>>11616784
>Not collecting books because they look nice on your shelf
It's like you don't even have autism.

[Anonymous No.11617770]

>>11609447
Hazel eyes, hazel forest, hazel veins. Orange and brown leaves dropping down melancholically.

[Anonymous No.11617789]

>>11617770
holy...
it's actually a fine fragment anon

[Anonymous No.11617975]

The cicadas are so loud I can't focus.

[Anonymous No.11617991]

>>11609447
For years I haven't felt the pleasure of waking up in the morning

[Anonymous No.11618018]

>>11617789
What about it makes it fine? I used to write creatively when I was in my teens but I largely lost interest in it. I've always wanted to know what distinguishes an interesting, descriptive sentence from a boring slog of adjectives pulled from a dictionary. Never quite figured it out, unfortunately.

[Anonymous No.11618060]

>>11618018
I don't know, it's just a feeling. I also really love autumnal motifs so I may be biased.

[Anonymous No.11618170]

Guilt is a terrible thing. It's a sense of regret that lingers in the air. A stain on the past that you can't wash out. It eats away it at you from the inside out. Turns you against yourself. You start to doubt everything that you do. Wait in apprehension for the next mistake. When will the next regret come? When will the pain of my mistakes stop following me every where I go? Will my next self-inflicted wound haunt me forever? Will the trail of blood lead to a shallow grave? Am I wrong to try to forget it? Should I bury the hatchet and let bygones be bygones? Or let it fester like a rotting gash in my soul that fills the room with an air of rended flesh everywhere that I go? Maybe I need to clear my head a bit. Accumulate some good karma. Join the peace corps. Save a life or two. Who knows. I may even run in to someone worth killing time with.

[Anonymous No.11618291]

I use a folded up copy of a letter I sent to my crush as a bookmark. We were never officially together, but there was some small kernel of mutual affection. There was a year that was really hard for the both of us, and even though we were living on opposite sides of the country we constantly texted each other and talked on the phone. We helped each other through it. After that we lived in the same city for a while, and just grew closer and closer, seeing each other every day before our life circumstances pulled us apart again. Things began to sour then, she grew distant and I didn't handle it very well. We reconnected again over Christmas though, and I thought that things were looking up for us. Before we split up again I wrote her a letter, first on cheap printer paper as a draft and then again on nice paper for sending. It was pretty simple, just saying that I was so glad to know her and to have spent a week back together with her. I asked her to stay in touch and promised to get back together with her as soon as possible, sometime early in the summer. Well it's August now and I haven't seen her properly since New Years. She didn't ghost me or anything, she just gradually faded further and further away. At one point she reached back out to me, but quickly retreated and nothing came of it. Now I'm adrift, she was the one strong thing I could actually orient my life around. Just aimless now. Not cripplingly depressed or anything, just aimless.

C, I miss you. I don't know why this happened, if you changed, if I failed, I don't know. I think of you every day, and every time I open a book to read and see that letter it hurts. But I keep using it, because the pain makes me remember you. Remember that there was something good, something beautiful, something in life that mattered. And I'd rather hurt every day than forget that.


Anyway that's my story, thanks for reading.

[Anonymous No.11618299]

I've stopped reading literature, it hurts to feel my soul enlarge only to press against the cold confines of modernity. I'm afraid the more human I become the more unbearable my pathetic life will be.

[Anonymous No.11618384]

>>11613499
Yeah

[Anonymous No.11618637]

>>11618291
she's probably a whore

take the abstinence/monk pill and use your newfound superpowers for creative genius

[Anonymous No.11618645]

>>11618637
I tell myself I'm gonna do this every day and then I get home from work and jerk off.

[Anonymous No.11618712]

>>11612949
can you elaborate on your periods of intense beauty?

[Anonymous No.11618717]

I was at work earlier and I felt this demonic energy. It meant I was going to die, thats what it meant. So I told that demonic energy to "die!" But then the demonic energy replied. "You can't kill me, I'm death itself." But then I said to him "That sounds like something an edgy chuuni would say while wearing all black and dressing like a goth or some shit" then he cried and ran away. I don't know if it was really a demon or my imagination but this kind of thing goes on all the time. Visitors come in and out of my brain all the time, let them in let them in!

[Anonymous No.11618721]

>>11609447
I have turned into a bird. I have turned into a bird and have gone completely crazy.

[Anonymous No.11618746]

>>11618645
check this thread out >>11604038
the anon in there is super based. If you read his posts and still want to fap, then I honestly don't know what to tell you.

[Anonymous No.11618856]

“Who’s next?”

“Me” said Pete as he got up and stood in front of the group

He proceeded to walk up to Shirley who was acting a man, rubbing his open knuckles with his slender fingers.

“Got a light?”

Shirley began to dig into her pockets even though she was wearing a dress without any.

“Hold on a second honey, I know theres one somewhere in here. Whats your name anyway?”

“Rita” answered Pete

“Pretty name for a pretty girl” said Shirley

Pete smiled.

Shirley pulled her hand out from behind her dress with a crevice of air in her palm where a lighter would sit.

Shirley held out the lighter in front of Petes face and slid her thumb over the side of her index finger.

“I’m Tony, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

There was a long cool silence that filled the room, and the pair could feel the weight of the rest of the company’s eyes, anticipating their next action. It was time for Pete to speak.

He looked around, left and right, train station, and looked at Tony. Just as Rita was about to open her mouth and say something, Pete stopped her from doing so, and took another drag of his imaginary cigarette.

“Alright, that’s enough” they heard from the outset.

“Pete, what made you stop?”

“I was just holding out the tension a little longer”

“No, you were about to say something to Shirley, what made you stop?”

“I don’t know, I just”

Pete was lost for words and couldn’t dig into his pockets to find any.

The company's eyes grew reluctantly heavier.

“Well?” said the voice.

“I just—“ Pete was stuck as traffic

Everyone stared, and the air became warmer, and Pete felt his stomach turn sick

Pete looked back as best he could, hoping that in that moment, he would be given his break and the next pair would do their scene.

[Anonymous No.11618880]

>>11610563

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Od7d-ts2_KcOYWVeSNDoSKp0eZlzfcmIJhFQnWUuSiE/edit?usp=sharing

[Anonymous No.11618906]

i got like 40 bucks in my amazon payments account and i have to spend most of it on food and coffee n shit cuz i dont be getting a lot of money in the summer, but i think im gonna break down and order a book, something cheap under ten bucks, preferably pulpy and easy to read, like some sci fi shit

[Anonymous No.11618983]

>>11616092
Who is the author? I keep getting different results searching

[Anonymous No.11618985]

>>11616156
Any plan to go back to Japan?

[Anonymous No.11619066]

>>11617483
>not just buying ones you most like/are the most aesthetic and pirating the rest

If i bought everything i read i wouldn't have even room in my small place anyway

[Anonymous No.11619094]

I'm sick
I had my first one night stand last weekend
I wonder if that makes me a slut and is a sign of life long promiscuity
I'm not a girl btw

[Anonymous No.11619124]

A tranny just liked me on Hinge and I immediately felt aroused looking at his/her pics. She (he, it) has pics of him/herself in short skirts and stockings with wonderful legs which I find too hot, and to be honest I've always wanted to suck a dick. To top it off his/her profile itself says he/she has a glory hole fetish.
I want to reply back and perhaps meet up and experiment, but it's fucking Hinge where once you match it displays your full (last) name to the other. His/her face is also blurred so could very much be unattractive. That is, if we match and start talking (even if we exchange phone numbers right away and chat off the app) he/she will have my full name - and if I back out or something goes wrong, or I upset him/her, who knows what he/she could do with it. My name and subsequent profile pics could be associated to the fucked-up tranny lover I am.
>inb4 why the fuck would you want your last name readily present upon a match
Because matching with a girl is normal and I wouldn't care if she had that info. There is nothing I would say over the app that would disparage my name.
The fuck do I do.

[Anonymous No.11619299]

>>11616156
why on earth did you move back? did the programme end or something?

[Anonymous No.11619424]

>>11613159
You can try

Just trying is good enough