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/lit/ - Literature

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1156011 No.1156011 [Reply] [Original]

"My father was a mulatto, my grandfather was a Negro, and my great-grandfather a monkey. You see, Sir, my family starts where yours ends."

ITT wit

>> No.1156024

“Mr. Churchill, you are drunk!”
"Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be ugly."

>> No.1156027

>>1156024
another by churchill

"Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!"
"And if you were my wife, I would drink it!"

>> No.1156031

>>1156027
>>1156024
Oh how I love that man

>> No.1156032

Some random soccer manager was asked for a quick word.
>Velocity

>> No.1156033

“Start each day out the holy way..with Christ Chex, it's a miracle in a bowl. Just open the box and you hear AHHHHH....and then a lil' angel flies out and says 'good morning, life is beautiful!"

Dane Cook

>> No.1156034

>>1156024
>>1156027
Was he really this smooth? goddamn.

>> No.1156036

>>1156024
Holy fuck this guy was Alpha as shit

>> No.1156038
File: 65 KB, 460x516, 1276124501080.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1156038

>>1156032
I love that kind of shit

>> No.1156040

>>1156033
>wit
>Dane Cook

Choose one.

>> No.1156048

G.K. Chesterton was refused by the army due to his weight. When asked by an indignant woman on the street why he wasn't out in the front, he replied, "If you will just turn this way, madam, you will see that I am."

>> No.1156051

I want the acidy spit!! Why not me? Because you need to get a life that will get you farther than acid, try HEROIN!

Dane Cook

>> No.1156057

>>1156048
I don't get it

Also I hate fat people; arrogant as shit

>> No.1156058

"There were some really good-looking girls running with their hands over their heads. Did those kids try to have sex with any of those good-looking girls? They didn't even do that? At least if you're going to kill yourself and kill the kids, why wouldn't you have some sex? If I was going to kill some people, I'd take them out with sex."

Howard Stern

>> No.1156061

>>1156057
What's not to get in that? He was "out in the front." And the man had every right to be arrogant. He was a genius.

>> No.1156063

>>1156061
>Raging hardcore christfag
>Genius

>> No.1156074
File: 16 KB, 300x300, pimp.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1156074

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

>> No.1156077

>>1156063

>Doesn't know about Isaac Newton.

>> No.1156090

>>1156063
Chesterton was highly respected by not only Christians but atheists as well. He influenced C.S. Lewis and George Orwell. He was close friends with George Bernard Shaw and debated H.G. Wells on many occasions. Learn something before you speak.

>> No.1156099

>>1156090
So what?

>> No.1156103

>>1156090
The Bible influenced everyone, it doesn't mean it's not shit

>> No.1156129

>>1156103

Sure is rage-core atheist fag in here.

>> No.1156136

"What did you call me!? A fag? Alright then. I thought you called me a nigger."

-Gay white dude on the bus, upon being called a fag by a black dude

>> No.1156139
File: 36 KB, 90x86, kane.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1156139

>>1156136

>> No.1156142

>>1156139
>>1156136

sigh...

samefag

>> No.1156145
File: 140 KB, 314x1669, dowzer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1156145

>>1156129
>>1156142
Samefriend

>> No.1156158

>>1156145
da fuk

>> No.1156160

>>1156158

Dowzer likes jumping on grenades.

>> No.1156178

>>1156160
It's more likely he considers the actual desirable women to be the grenades the others are jumping on. FIVE HUNDO

>> No.1156181

>>1156145
CAN I JOIN BROTHERHOOD