Book store horror stories

[Anonymous No.11534283]

>be me, driving through the downtown strip-mall hell to purchase nicotine lozenges
>spy a corporate chain bookstore, don't go into town very often so i think, what the hell why not
>mill about the books-a-bazillion for a little while, absolutely in awe of the wretchedness of its selection
>philosophy section has no less than a dozen editions and versions of Art of War (why do normies like this book so much?)
>no schoppy, no wittgenstein, nothing of the sort, maybe three neechee books
>fiction selection is similarly abominable: no aeschylus, no sophocles, james patterson has his own dedicated bookshelf
>pick out a couple of books, one i need to read and one i've read but don't own and i'd like to revisit
>get to the counter to check out, homely and pudgy young woman checking me out ax if i want to get the discount card, it will give me a discount, evidently
>'sure, whatever'
>have to pay to join this club and choose three magazines to receive at my house which i don't want, the total will end up being twenty bucks more than what i would have paid without the discount
>consider backing out but ive gone through all this shit with my information, it is too late, too much effort to back out now
>as she is bagging my books she notices i am purchasing a book called metamorphosis, inexplicably starts talking about kafka
>says she read it in a college, mentions something about existentialism and feminism
>no idea what the fuck she is blathering about anymore
>'ha ha okay... have a good evening..'

i wish these places would go out of business sooner

[Anonymous No.11534291]

>>11534283
*metamorphoses, sorry

[Anonymous No.11534317]

>>11534283
so, did you pork her?

[Anonymous No.11534318]

The dumb bitch at the counter of my local used bookstore consistently charges me much more than the books cost (they are marked 50% off advertised price), and I consistently have to walk her through the mathematics of it. I feel like a total faggot in doing so, but Jesus Christ man what else can I do?

[Anonymous No.11534334]

>>11534283
>ax if i want
Ax?
This bait reminds me of zoidberg.

[Anonymous No.11534338]

>>11534317
No, she wasn't quite my type
>>11534318
That is weird to me because the used bookstore here is always unbelievably cheap, I feel like I am robbing her.
>>11534334
I like to add a little AAVE for levity.

[Anonymous No.11534361]

>>11534338
>That is weird to me because the used bookstore here is always unbelievably cheap, I feel like I am robbing her.
I live in a tourist town so everything in the town center (including the bookstore) is marked up about 10000%

[Anonymous No.11534373]

>>11534361
Ah, I live in a southern backwater city where it is amazing that people still read books at all.

[Anonymous No.11534412]

>>11534283
>says she read it in a college, mentions something about existentialism and feminism
kek it's amazing, whenever a woman mentions a book that isn't YA or selfhelp tier, it's always "something I read in college" and the majority of them when I ask them a bit about the book sperg that they don't really remember anything about the book. funny.

my story is just
>local used book store
>some nice stuff, but very small
>old cantankerous woman always running checkout
>always brings the bants to the customers
>asked for my id when I was buying Lolita, mocked the fact that I was buying McCarthy's The Road, that kind of thing
>I always get btfo by her and inevitably think of a good response about 3 hours later
>start to feel nervous whenever I think of going to the store
>haven't been there in almost 7 months
I wonder if she still works there

[Anonymous No.11534423]

>>11534412
you should fuck her, anon

[Anonymous No.11534428]

>>11534412
This sounds incredible, getting btfo by mommy bookstore clerk who actually knows anything at all about literature is an unbelievably comfy thought

[Anonymous No.11534443]

>>11534423
would if I could

>>11534428
it was pretty comfy, I'm just too neurotic to capitalize on it

[Anonymous No.11534483]

>>11534412
My senior year (in high school) AP literature professor carried the stereotype of the "crazy cat lady", but every single work she assigned (Jude the Obscure, Jane Eyre, The Sound and the Fury, To the Lighthouse, The Tempest) I enjoyed immensely, and even her poetry section (which I normally despise) I found very enjoyable. The workload was heavy but the reward was great. She was always challenging us to read fairly challenging authors like Woolf, Faulkner, Joyce, and various poets, and all the memories I have of her are great. She died a few years after I graduated :(

[Anonymous No.11534529]

>>11534483
that's fucking awesome, the few teachers from high school who really cared and connected with me i will never forget. one teacher i had played us this is water at the end of our junior year and even though it's a normie viral thing now it blew my mind when i was younger.

the book store nearby my college is so big it's split into 4 different stores within the same mile. virtually unlimited selection, each location has multiple buildings. also one of those ones with extremely smart quiet staff and free coffee and snacks. i spent so many hours just reading on their sofas, drinking coffee and building my stack. truly a legendary place, i'm sad to be leaving it for a city. shoutout the book barn in niantic, ct.
anyone know if chicago's book store scene is expensive new books like everywhere else?

[Anonymous No.11534612]

>>11534283
That magazine thing happened to me, but after the 3 months were up they charged me something like 40 bucks for a year long subscription and I couldn't refund the transaction. Save yourself while there is still time

[Anonymous No.11534653]

>>11534283
>go to big chain bookstore
>pick up Mein Kampf, Lolita, and The God Delusion
>waiting in line for ages
>light up a stogie
>start loudly chatting up old ladies and families in line next to me
>thumb through the expensive knick-knacks next to the checkout, knocking several onto the floor, and repeatedly tell my fellow line-goers to “look at all this horseshit”
>complain that there are too few cashiers per customer, allege that this is the fault of “kikes”
>finally reach the checkout
>array the books so their covers are all facing up
>toss them onto the counter in a radial formation, all facing directly at the cashier, a slightly overweight girl in her early 20s
>she looks down at them and pauses, her jaw dropping in disbelief as the fuhrer himself stares back up at her
>blow smoke into her face and ask “some kind of problem, toots?”
>she coughs and nervously stutters the name of the book, as if to verify that someone could ever purchase it intentionally
>“yeah” I reply, before placing my index finger on the cover of Lolita, and leaning across to her side of the counter
>“and this one’s about a pedophile”
>her face is now wan with shock and horror
>“oh my god,” she mutters
>“God’s dead, honey”
>everyone around us goes dead silent
>pick up the books and leave without paying
>no one even calls security

[Anonymous No.11534664]

>>11534529
myopic books in wicker park is prob the best used store in the city and it's mid-tier value-wise. sometimes you can find some nice obscure shit, otherwise it's the same flood of battered classics that every used book store has. armadillo's pillow in rogers park is the same story. some really nice places for new books though, unabridged books over on broadway & belmont is tasteful, lots of dalkey and nybr stuff

[Anonymous No.11534671]

>>11534529
>>11534664
idk if you're in the city right now but the Newberry library book fair is still going on tomorrow, i got 15 books i've been needing for a while for $30 total, everything is half off tomorrow, def go check it out.

[Anonymous No.11534676]

>>11534283
WOW, a bookstore selling books that actually sell! Who would've thought??

[Anonymous No.11534779]

>>11534653
debased and pain-pilled.

[Anonymous No.11534812]

>>11534653
very gay. maybe this was funnier in your head.

[Anonymous No.11534821]

>>11534412
>haven't been there in almost 7 months
More to the point: is it still in business?

[Anonymous No.11534889]

>>11534283
> need leather bound shakespeare
> to go with my leather shelves
>
> how will you be paying? are those pounds leather bound? i need them to go with my wallet.

[Anonymous No.11534891]

>Visit my favourite book store
>Begin browsing, feel a sudden urge to pee
>Browse more rapidly, scuttling down aisles and squirming at each pause
>Hurry to checkout, knocking over stacks of books as I go
>Pay while doing pee pee dance
>Speedwalk to the door, run full tilt to the Subway across the street
>Have to buy something to use bathroom
>Explodingwithpiss.jpg
>Finally relieve myself and promise never again

>Three weeks later
>Return to favorite book store, but only after using the bathroom
>Begin browsing, immediately interrupted by a violent urge to shit
>Wtf, decide to pinch ass and keep looking
>Walk to poetry section and feel the urge begin to pass
>Arrive at poetry section
>Violent urge to shit returns, have to piss now too
>What the fuck, I fucking WENT five minutes ago
>Gripping my dick and clenching while I try to find Marvell
>Find what I'm looking for, rush to Subway and demand washroom key
>Out of Order
>Rush up the street to another bathroom, piss dripping down my leg
>Defecate and urinate while suppressing tears of anger and confusion

Every fucking time. As soon as I step into that place I have to piss like a poorly trained dog.

[Anonymous No.11535037]

>>11534653
I dunno, I got a chuckle.

[Anonymous No.11535160]

The local bookstores became extremely expensive even for cheap editions because they are small and brand shops only carry flavor of the month.
At least there's amazon and other online libraries that aren't on my city.

[Anonymous No.11535197]

>>11534653
8/10
Not bad, i chuckled

[Anonymous No.11535589]

>>11534812
>>11535197
>>11535037
I've seen it before, it's just pasta

[Anonymous No.11535780]

>>11534412
this sounds like the quintessential /lit/ poster

[Anonymous No.11536028]

>>11534529
huh

the only teacher i remember having any kind of relationship with was the one who overheard me say she "looked like she's hiding a barcode tattoo" and fucking despised me ever after

[Anonymous No.11536446]

Can soneone post that pasta of the anon in the bookstore posting his stack

[Anonymous No.11536466]

>>11534412
Mommy giv milkies

[Anonymous No.11536469]

>>11534283
the cognoscenti and literati must perish in flaem, every institution associated with them has these parasitic hidden energy sinks. very disgusting race of humans

[Anonymous No.11536471]

>>11534664
awesome i'll check them out! thanks!

>>11534671
moving in at the end of august, but maybe i'll catch next year's

[Anonymous No.11537079]

>>11534283
>town I live doesn't have a decent book store
>usually pirate everything because I dislike how libraries are structured
>go into bigger town for a work related thing where's a Barnes and Noble in the mall
>Done with work thing, visit BaN
>Browse around, don't see anything that's worth paying for (call me poor but 20 bucks for a book is too much for me)
>Section in the middle labeling 2 books for 10 bucks
>Barnes and Noble editions, which I like for the uniformity and selection
>Buy Heart of Darkness and Art of War because I'm a pleb
>Pay
>Leave
FUCKING BARNES AND NOBLE

[Anonymous No.11537138]

>Go shopping
>Shop sucks
>Name drop to prove I'm cultured and academic
>Reluctantly make purchases anyway
>More name dropping
>Clerk is dumb
>Rush home to tell my Malaysian comic book image board friends
>Postpone suicide on the off chance I might get to find out what the inside of a vagina feels like one day

[Anonymous No.11537227]

Happened last week
>frequent a used bookstore to creep on qt cashier
>she isn't there today so I'm not making much of an effort to appear smart
>pick up a 'Tom of Finland' omnibus and giggle at all the cartoon leather daddies with giant erections
>look up from giant compendium of gay pornography to see qt
>"I see you in here a lot"
>y-yeah

[Anonymous No.11537257]

>>11534412
>asked for my id when I was buying Lolita
Laughed out loud, tell me where I can find this woman

[Anonymous No.11537263]

>live in Paris
>go to Shakespeare & Co to get a cheap copy of crime and punishment
>pseuds and boomers literally hang out in the cramped store to bandy around their book knowledge to anyone who will listen

[Anonymous No.11537284]

>>11537227
Kek

[Anonymous No.11537389]

>go into small used bookstore that I only happened to find because it was right around the corner from where I worked
>mostly stuff I don't care about but still find two books (Kafka and Kleist) for cheap
>buy them and leave
7/10 would do again

[Anonymous No.11537519]

My second time in a book store.

>big chain store, but in trendy part of town
>built-in Starbucks on second floor
>shuffling through fiction/lit section, trying to find a "classic" to read
>young girl employee approaches me
>"Hey, can I help you find anything?"
>"uhh, yeah, um. Do you have Count of Monte Crisco?"
>crisco
>She chuckles and says, "Yeah, let me see."
>She takes one step closer to me and we both face the shelf.
>the book was literally right in front of me when I asked her.
>thank her awkwardly
>she walks away
>I leave the store, never to return to a chain store or talk to a woman again
>go down the street to an indie used book store
>only faggots there so I'm safe

[Anonymous No.11537615]

>>11537519
based

[Anonymous No.11537646]

>be me
>banned from local bookstore for three months for putting bibles in the fiction section
>my brain is larger than average so I can not be sated by the mindless frivolities of television and internet memes
>I hunger and thirst for knowledge
>must buy more books
>WWEDD? (What Would Edmond Dantes Do)
>assemble disguise
>heavy wool coat, brimmed, tattered hat, fake Twain-esque moustache, walk with a cane
>enter store
>store manager who banned me (and also stole my qt gf by hypnotizing her with his eastern philosophy claptrap) is there, observing the store from his meditative perch behind the counter
>go to philosophy section
>select Lawrence Krauss’s ‘Universe from Nothing’, Dawkins’s ‘The Selfish Gene’, and Hitch’s ‘The Portable Atheist’
>discreetly move one of the Bibles to the fiction section…my calling card
>approach counter slowly with a limp. Young woman cashier. Manager eyes me curiously.
>“Hello young lady. Might you ring these up for me?”
>“Certainly, sir.”
>“Interesting selection, sir.” The manager speaks softly from his perch, his arms crossed.
>“Ah, yes. I like to expand my horizons with other ideas.”
>“Noble,” the manager says, still looking at me suspiciously.
>I pay and take my books.
>As I reach the exit, I turn to the cashier and the manager.
>I remove my hat and moustache and let my coat fall to the floor
>“It was I all along. God is dead. And now I must bid you adieu!”
>I pull on the door handle but you have to push for it to open
>manager almost catches me
>As I flee I hear the cashier say ‘He cute’

[Anonymous No.11537807]

>>11537227
Lmao nice

[Anonymous No.11537909]

>pass by hole in wall book store while walking near campus
>realize I've never been inside
>dusty pulp everywhere, bent wooden shelves, dark
>dig around, find some cool old punk poetry collections and an australian horror anthology from the 70's
>while I'm skimming the owner comes up and starts talking to me
>he looks like a prospector and is kind of crazy eyed but friendly
>we end up talking about wanting to fuck Magic the Gathering characters
>after like twenty minutes of this decide to pay and head out
>"oh sorry kid, I don't have a card reader"
>say i'll go to an atm and come back but get tired on the way and decide to go home instead

the store closed down about a month later and i'm pretty sure the owner is dead now

[Anonymous No.11537931]

>Walking down a major road
>See a small bookstore being run out of a house down an intersecting residental street
>Table of books on his front porch, right by the side walk
>Decide to walk past, nobody outside so I linger for a few seconds to browse
>Old bald white man in stained clothes, missing teeth, comes out from the house, introduces himself, says he's been here for years
>End up standing around for 20 minutes while he talks about how he hates black people, the Indians and the yuppies who have moved in on his street
>He waved to almost everyone who drove past
>He says he needs employees and that I should come back next weekend to meet his friends
>Accept and use it as a way to finally leave
>Never went back again
I think I found a bookstore owned by a /lit/ poster

[Anonymous No.11537932]

>>11537646

[Anonymous No.11537957]

>>11537646
saved

[Anonymous No.11537961]

>>11537263
>having a bookstore that holds actual books and not dolls
>having people willing to discuss and share knowledge, even if boomers and self-indulgent pseuds
>complain

[Anonymous No.11537968]

>>11534283

Corporate bookstores are a feast for the clever creepshot photographer, but the feet tend to be Latinx womyn who are really hit or miss in terms of footsexual aesthetics

[Anonymous No.11538004]

>>11537968

Here in Sweden, there's very few latinas and Swedish women's feets tend to be larger and long, like flippers. Personally, I like the graceful Somali and Ethiopian feet, but they always have poor shoes. You should learn to love what you have in America.

[Anonymous No.11538036]

>>11534283
>browsing chain bookshop near where I live
>trip over myself and fall into neatly ordered bookshelf
>knock bookshelf back and the jolt causes 20+ books to fall off their shelves
>stumble back on my feet while everyone in the shop is staring at me in silence (peak hours so a fair few people)
>all I can think to do is just quickly walk off while keeping my head down
>do that
>as I'm walking out the front entrance hear "Oi... Oi mate! YOU HAVE TO COME BACK!"
>keep walking but faster, don't stop until I'm all the way down the road
That was 2 months ago and I still haven't gone back there due to the sheer embarrassment if someone recognizes me. Literally haven't even walked down that road since the incident. It's all I ever think about too. What is wrong with me lads why cant i just be like everyone else. Like this shit always happens to me and I never see it happen to others

[Anonymous No.11538089]

>>11538036
it's okay anon :)

[Anonymous No.11538137]

>>11538036
I would probably have started crying out of embarrassment if that happened to me desu. But it was just a some books, probably wasn't a big deal for the people who had to pick them up.

[Anonymous No.11538519]

>>11538036
wear a disguise and go back to the store wear a hat dark glasses and one of those stick on moustaces (or grow your own LOL) trust me if it has been more thatn 2 month no one will recognize you it will be fine it's okay friend these accident happen sometimes but you have to move on and FACE YOURE FEAR!!! <end message>

[Anonymous No.11538889]

>>11538036
>go back to the store in a disguise
>they have your face printed on posters all over the store as public enemy #1
>someone recognize you
>forced to labor in the back for weeks to pay back the damages your clumsiness caused the store
Never go back.

[Anonymous No.11539598]

>>11534318
>i feel like a faggot
So the fuck what? Quit getting jewed.

[Anonymous No.11539707]

>>11537931
fucking brutal

[Anonymous No.11539759]

> be me
> 6'2, semi-handsome, well-built
> go to local barnes and noble for coffee
> music blasting, holes everywhere
> decide to check out books once i got my coffee
> little girl runs by me and brushing against my crotch
> full-blown erection
> her mom is nearby, need excuse to fugg her daughter
> "hey ma'am can i go take your daughter in the back for fugging?"
> "why not, sir?"
> taked daughter to back for fugging, pull down her pants and BAM daughter has a benis!!!
> realize it's jazz
> run out of the bathroom and store with my pants down my legs and full blown benis erection
> mom yells "why you not fugging my daughter?"
> tfw i haven't been back for 2 months out of pure embarrassment

feels bad man

[Anonymous No.11540107]

>>11534889
I wish they made more seasons so I can keep fapping to Fran

[Anonymous No.11540154]

>>11534283
stop making me feel bad about myself OP. Not all pseuds are arrogant dicks to normies like you are. She was just trying to be friendly while working somewhere that would probably kill your soul in a few weeks.

[Anonymous No.11540161]

>>11537931
I'd work there even though I have a better job already

[Anonymous No.11540234]

>>11539759
Why did you not fug?

[Anonymous No.11540316]

>>11536471
Seconding myopic books and unabridged. I really like them both.

[Anonymous No.11540356]

>>11534283

I love Kitchen Arts and Letters in New York City. Obscure cookbooks can make for a fun historical document.

[Anonymous No.11540373]

Nobody has ever talked to me about the books I buy. Even small, independent shops don't. I have trouble making eye contact, so maybe that's why.

[Anonymous No.11540386]

>>11540373

I'm always scoping out for qt feetsies like they were valuable pokemons so I too miss conversational cues haha

[Anonymous No.11540401]

>>11540386
Not a footfag, but recently I have found myself looking at the nail polish on the toes of women I know and thinking to myself how fitting the colour is for them.

[Anonymous No.11540416]

>>11534283
You forgot
>spaghetti spills out of my pockets
>kneel on the ground and start shoving it back into my pockets while crying
>FUCKING BARNES AND NOBLE

[Anonymous No.11540460]

>>11534529
Seconding what was said about Myopic and Unabridged. Both have incredible selections - Myopic for used, Unabridged for new.
The Dial near the Art Institute is a hidden gem on the second floor of the Fine Arts Building and has a modest selection, but is a beautiful space and has great prices. I generally cycle between those three.
If you are able to make it to the Hyde Park area, the Co-Op Seminary Bookstore near the University has an unbelievable selection of new books.

[Anonymous No.11540566]

>>11534889
Thanks a lot, man. Now I'll have to watch Black Books AGAIN.

[Anonymous No.11540578]

>>11537138
It feels good, but don't kys over the lack of it. Become cultured and interesting instead.

[Anonymous No.11540657]

>>11534483
That's a great story Anon. Btw, because of it/her/you, I've now added Jude the Obscure and To the Lighthouse to my reading list.

[Anonymous No.11540671]

>>11534529
>anyone know if chicago's book store scene is expensive new books like everywhere else?

powell's in hyde park is pretty cool

sem coop is all $40-100 a book

[Anonymous No.11540714]

>>11538036
Thank you anon. Your autism has given me much mirth.

[Anonymous No.11540728]

>>11537615
AND redpilled

[Anonymous No.11540739]

>>11537646
Legendary

[Anonymous No.11540747]

>>11540671
Hmm, I didn't find anything I liked at Powell's when I went. In my experience, and I've only been twice, I've paid $15-22 per book at Sem Co-Op. After some measured restraint from splurging on books and taming my to-read pile, it's nice to make an event out of it (it's an hour commute for me each way) and pick up a small stack of books I haven't been able to find anywhere else.

[Anonymous No.11540824]

Anyone have any suggestions for Toronto? Are there any decent independent/used book stores here other than BMV?

[Anonymous No.11540973]

>>11534283
>>philosophy section has no less than a dozen editions and versions of Art of War (why do normies like this book so much?)

Corporate drones have been told that it has application to business entrepreneurship.

[Anonymous No.11541057]

>>11534653
>>no one even calls security
I liked the pasta until the conversation with the cashier started.

[Anonymous No.11541073]

>>11534283
>>11537646
>>11539759
>>be me
PLEASE FUCKING STOP

[Anonymous No.11541094]

>>11534283
This was like reading someone wearing someone elses face on top of their own.

[Anonymous No.11541122]

>be me, inna book store
>picking up some books I ordered
>finished checking out, checking receipt near door
>two high school girls come in
>talking amongst themselves and looking at a note
>overhear, they're looking for a required reading book
>they're clearly clueless, no idea where to look, saying the wrong thing
>wonder if I should help them
>fuck it, what's the point of knowing shit if you don't use your knowledge and help people?
>"Excuse me."
>they look around
>"If you're looking for *name of author* (I can't remember what author, I think it was Orwell) you'll probably find him over there in the classics section
>I point to said section
>they look at each other
>and giggle
>freak out internally
>fuck I should've shut my stupid mouth
>they say thanks and walk away, still giggling and talking quietly
>can't get it out of my head
Why did they laugh at me bros?

[Anonymous No.11541130]

>>11541122
Maybe you are handsome :)

[Anonymous No.11541187]

>>11541122
This >>11541130 is quite possible. Maybe you look like some teenage star, or something.

[Anonymous No.11542098]

>>11541122
I don't think they were laughing about you.
They were thankful and in awe to you. A giggle is a common gesture.

[Anonymous No.11542135]

>>11538036
Honestly, as a wagie in a retail store, I would absolutely remember you. Especially in a bookstore that probably doesn’t have that many people at a time.
I’m not gonna say this is an incident that should ruin your life, but I am gonna say you should find a new place to get books. At least for a while.

[Anonymous No.11542209]

>>11541122
Because they knew you would be blessed with double dubs anon. Rejoice, and join in their revelry.

[Anonymous No.11542231]

>>11534891
is this a fetish post?

[Anonymous No.11542293]

>>11537909
that sounds like the comfiest shit ever, fuck you for not going back

[Anonymous No.11542327]

>>11541122
teenage girls have three vocalizations: giggling, sobbing, and sighing

[Anonymous No.11542359]

>>11542327
You forgot moaning

[Anonymous No.11542414]

>>11534412
>asked for my id when I was buying Lolita
MY FUCKING SIDES

[Anonymous No.11542741]

>>11537646
>“It was I all along. God is dead. And now I must bid you adieu!”
>I pull on the door handle but you have to push for it to open
mm yes excellent

[Anonymous No.11542836]

>>11534529
>>11540671
>>11540460
>>11534664
dont forget powells in HP
also do any of you go to UoC

[Anonymous No.11542956]

>>11537263
>lives in Paris
>goes to Shakespeare and Co
you are beyond help, sir

[Anonymous No.11542999]

>be me
>live in a cultural hot spot
>culture vulture life.jpg
>call local book seller I trust
>order special editions of certain books for to-morrow
>fast forward next day
>go there, have a chat, have a drink, pick up a chick
this is how it's done

[Anonymous No.11543059]

>>11534653
sounds like a scene out of american psycho

[Anonymous No.11543195]

>new Christian bookstore
>see big shelf labeled bibles
>i bet they have an interesting variety
>50 different versions of kjv
>kjv for athletes
>kjv for moms

[Anonymous No.11543197]

>>11537931
I hate Indians so much.

[Anonymous No.11543225]

>>11534891

Lmao 'Pavlov's bookstore shitter'

[Anonymous No.11543250]

>go to bookstore
>pick up book and head to cashier
>cashier says, “this book was really good”
>”well I’m already trying to buy (the book), please stop trying to sell me on it, corporate pig”
>leave store proudly knowing I crushed a robot’s soul

[Anonymous No.11543279]

>>11541122

They giggled because they are actually literature demons. I've had a few run ins with these foul tricksters before, and I've always been left emasculated and publicly shamed. What they do is find a victim, eat two children to take their forms and then follow you into a bookshop pretending to be looking for a certain book that you are bound to know. Then they audibly pretend to not know the whereabouts of said book, prompting you to tell them out of a sense of public obligation, but also because they know you want to look smart. Then they giggle and walk off. What you didn't see was them evaporating into one of the bookshelves (their main transport system when in natural form) and then feeding upon your insecurities for the rest of your stay in the shop. Now everytime you go in there, they are draining your life energy for sustainenence.

[Anonymous No.11543337]

my fav book store copypasta

[Anonymous No.11543376]

>>11543279
I think their plan failed miserably because I haven't been back to that store since.
But I also believe because the store moved some time after, and I was one of their regular customers. I guess the literature demons needed a new hunting ground.

[Anonymous No.11543435]

>>11543279
>sustainenence

[Anonymous No.11543491]

>>11534653
This is a pasta I already tasted at least twice.

[Anonymous No.11543550]

>>11543279
>sustainenence
Stopped reading right there.

[Anonymous No.11544395]

>>11543337

that last line is so perfect

[Anonymous No.11544466]

>>11543337
at first its a library then its a store wtf continuity error

[Anonymous No.11545173]

>>11542999
I too have sometimes good dreams at night

[Anonymous No.11545279]

>>11534283
>own a kindle
>paid a one off fee of £100
>never bought a book since
>can customize colours and have backups of all my books
physical books are the vinyl to kindles flac

[Anonymous No.11545302]

>>11541122
god I wish I lived in a posh area, at most school girls flirt with me to buy them booze or cigs then try coming back to my flat so they have a place to drink (they're usually 16/17) so even though I do nothing even if i did it wouldn't be a crime

[Anonymous No.11545465]

>>11534653
>some kind of problem toots?
I laughed

[Anonymous No.11545493]

>>11537646
The door handle bit is a work of genius

[Anonymous No.11545515]

[Anonymous No.11545525]

>>11543195
That's how they copyright bibles anon. Some fag writes useless commentary in the margins for "teens" or "construction workers" and then they sell you an expensive piece of ancient free domain literature.

[Anonymous No.11545532]

>>11545515
now hold on just a darn tootin second

[Anonymous No.11545562]

When I was a highschooler I was incredibly dopey, depressed, mentally absent and broke all the time. I went to a used book store and picked out a copy of Moby Dick, went to the counter, and when the old guy at the front realised I didn't have enough money he gave me a discount because he'd prefer I could read it. I thanked him and then put the book and all my money in my bag and walked out without paying or saying a word. I returned and payed when I realised but I don't remember the reaction. I was honestly fucked in the head back then, like a zombie

[Anonymous No.11545586]

>>11545302

>Imam detected

[Anonymous No.11545589]

>>11545586
white lad, funnily enough my town was one of the first to be exposed to have a muslim grooming gang

[Anonymous No.11545888]

>>11543250
underrated

[Anonymous No.11546015]

>>11534283
My local bookstore sees the words "God", "Jesus" or "Bible" and lumps them all into the same section so you have various versions of the Bible sitting alongside The God Delusion and God Is Not Great

[Anonymous No.11546423]

>>11543250
lmao

[Anonymous No.11546472]

>>11544466
librairie is French for bookstore

[Anonymous No.11546515]

>>11534653

[Anonymous No.11546653]

>>11534653
Lot of newfriends in here.

[Anonymous No.11546669]

>>11537519
>She chuckles and says, "Yeah, let me see."

so free and you pussied out.

[Anonymous No.11546683]

>>11537646
>God is dead
>adieu!

O I laffed.

[Anonymous No.11546728]

>nearest bookstore is 30 miles away
There is Walmart and thrift stores I guess.

[Anonymous No.11546803]

>>11534891
>>11542231
Ignore him he's a little rusty. He hasn't written anything since A Dance With Dragons 6 years ago.

[Anonymous No.11546860]

>>11546728
>Walmart
Maybe it depends on the area but my local Walmart's selection is fucking awful. It's just best sellers, young adult trash, gaudy religious pap, self-help books, and ghetto garbage.

[Anonymous No.11546978]

>new Spanish bookstore opens up in high price business neighborhood
>happy as fuck because they have hard to fins shit
>whenever I'm in there it's always empty except for maybe one random costumer
>browsing books when suddenly some 30yo milf walks in recording on the store for instagram story or some such other social media brain drain
>we meet in counter as I'm paying for my books
>almost unbelievably we have one author in common
>we start talking about soccer and sports for some reason
>she gets real close as she talks and smiles
>she obs wants it but Im too inept at closing the deal
>say I'll be late for work and leave sweating profusely


another time, same store:

>walk in and say hi to clerk
>mind my own business, brose books
>everything going well, empty as usual
>pick up a poetry book at random and a translation of some romanian novel
>start small talk with clerk
>old dude, probably owner
>desk is a mess and full of books, orders, papers, bills etc
>comment that he looks busy and business looks good
>Actually we've had to cut personnel to a minimum, not doing so good
>we'll see after summer ends to see the assess the situation

Dont do small talk if you're socially incompetent like me, it leads to disastrous interactions.

[Anonymous No.11547226]

>>11546978
sad to hear about the store. at this point I try to avoid talking to book store owners about business whenever possible bc it's almost always depressing

sad to hear about the woman. u couldn't even just go "i gotta get to work but this was fun, we should trade n̶u̶d̶e̶s̶ numbers"? anon pls

[Anonymous No.11547539]

>>11546860
Any grocery store is gonna be like that. One little shelf in the back or in the corner with nothing but magazines and crappy romance novels.

[Anonymous No.11547990]

>be me
>go to bookstore in strip mall in rural town
>place looks like storage unit someone tossed a bunch of books into
>books stacked horizontally everywhere
>musty smell
>cashier looks like pic related
>not even completely through the door when he looks up and says 'can I help you with something?'
>taken completely off guard
>Me: um, just looking around.
>Him: what for?
>don't know what to say.
>for some reason say "uh, I guess... I was looking for something by John Gardner..."
>Him: sure, I've got some James Bond books right over here.
>Me: No, I um.. meant... the American John Gardner.
>Him: I don't know anything about that.
>Me: So, I guess I'll just take a look around...
>Him: Costs two bucks to walk around, bud.
>Have no idea if he's kidding.
>Turn around and walk out of store, spilling spaghetti everywhere.

[Anonymous No.11548190]

>>11545515

[Anonymous No.11548646]

>>11543337
>Completely wrong, its BABBADALGARHARTAKAMMIRMRARAKNONABRONTORNAREENENNOTNNTUHUNNNRORORSNHOHAUNANSJNSNATOOTHOOROHOROANEWROGNADLFNNHADF

[Anonymous No.11548674]

>>11534653
Made me laugh. You could revise the "this ones about a pedophile" phrase into something better.

8/10

[Anonymous No.11549116]

>>11534529
Hyde Park has Powell's, 57th Street and Sem Co-Op and is probably the best neighborhood for book buying sprees. If I was visiting from out of town I'd go there first.

Try Open Books in the west loop too. It's a literacy nonprofit that operates a cheap secondhand bookstore with big selection.

Uncharted Books in Logan Square has a pretty small selection but has a cozy charm and chill staff. Then once you leave you can get a coffee and read your book in the square near the monument.

[Anonymous No.11549180]

>>11537263
>il ne peut pas lire francais
va chier putain

[Anonymous No.11549424]

>>11534529
fucking dweeb

[Anonymous No.11549737]

>>11534529
Myopic if you want fiction, 57th for anything else. Seminary co-op should be your last resort as far as price goes.

[Anonymous No.11549964]

>staying with my grandma over the summer
>she lives in miniscule town in Oregon
>asks me if I’d like to stop by the festival flea market uptown
>everyone brings their crafts and collectibles to the town square to buy and sell over the weekend; basically a glorified garage sale
>boundtobeshit
>first table is a little old lady selling flower arrangements
>colour scheme is a disaster. No theme or flow.
>she's chatting with my grandma when I interrupt
>“Interesting choice using daisies AND chamomile in the same arrangement. Don't want to be too bright, I see. Btw, the great depression's over, dear.”
>Old lady gasps. My grandma tries to apologize. I saunter to the next table.
>A little kid made some paintings. One’s a galloping horse. The other's a crude sketch of a man fishing. The frames are made of popsicle sticks. Truly pathetic.
>“Hey Mister, wanna buy a painting? They’re only three dollars.”
>*eyeroll*
>“Tell me something, kid. Have you heard of Brueghel?”
>“Nuh-uh.”
>"How about Robert Bateman?”
>“Yeah, yeah! He paints animals just like me!”
>“Let me paint you a little picture: Imagine Robert Bateman was given a Brueghel painting, chewed it up, swallowed it, digested it, and shat it into a can. Now imagine he used his foot to smear the contents into a smiley face…It would come out better than your paintings.”
>kid immediately starts crying. I move on.
>At the end of the row is an old man selling books. He’s been watching me, puffing on a pipe. Apparently he’s the town mayor.
>sign says $2 each. I’m sure it's all pocket westerns and pulp fiction but decide to check it out.
>“Hey there, fella. You like books?”
>"Do the Greeks like Byron?"
>Look through his books. “I see you’ve read some Dickens. Mandatory reading…in the sixth grade. Not even hardcover.”
>The man puffs on his pipe. “Keep lookin. Might find something more your speed.”
>“Gee, let’s see, Penguin edition of Heart of Darkness. I remember my first book report.”
>“Look a little deeper kid.”
>Come across early edition of Call of the Wild.
>“Hmm, I guess there’s bound to be a pearl amongst the swine.” Look inside. Signed by London! Hold on to it.
>Next book is a first-edition of Huckleberry Finn. Holy shit! Signed as well.
>The man keeps puffing on his pipe.
>Grab the last book in the pile: Emerson’s Essays: First Series. First Edition. Pencil signature inside the cover that reads, ‘Dear Albert, May these words bring you joy and reflection. Yours, R.W.E.’
>“I’ll take these!”
>“Which ones did you find?” he asks, reaching for the books. I hand them to him.
>He looks at them for a second. “Oh, these? Not for sale." He smirks and tucks the books away.
>“Nor is this photograph of me and a couple friends.” He holds up a black and white photo. It’s him standing with Faulkner and Fitzgerald in Hollywood in the 1930s.
>He blows a puff of smoke in my face: “Now get the fuck out of my flea market.”

[Anonymous No.11550651]

>>11543250
based and redpilled

[Anonymous No.11550699]

>>11543195
It's the same at my local Christian book shop

>The Minecraft Bible
>The Youth Bible
>The Students Bible
>The 365-day Reading Plan Bible
>The thinline gift award pocket large print commemorative heritage Bible

[Anonymous No.11551264]

>>11534283
True story incoming
>go to local bookstore which I despise because it is filled with nothing but pop-sci, cook books, self help books and modern fantasy
>already pissed at the entrance because I know I'll exit murmuring
>walk around looking disdainfully
>I spot a wild Dickens
>whatintheshit.jpg
>they added a few classics
>ecstatically walk toward the cashier and ask if they have more of them scattered around the store (because nothing is organized)
>yeah just ask cashier lady #2
>I walk towards her and repeat my question
>"yeah we got a new batch, what are you looking for"
>to test my luck and this new batch I say 'Tolstoy'
>I'm not sure if we have anything by him, let me check, follow me
>I follow her to the smallest aisle in the store and she fails to find anything by him
>"anything else you're interested in?"
>'Chekhov?'
>"ohhhhh yeah I think we have one more copy of Fathers and Sons"
>'I said Chekhov'
>scornfully "duh, I know"
>'but Fathers and Sons wasn't written by Ch-yeah you know what let's find Chekhov's Fathers and Sons'
>she looks around and says "looks like we don't have it anymore"
>'aww shucks, that's too bad'
>exit the store murmuring anyway
>continue downtown to another one which used to have a lot of shit back in the day
>enter the store and see a confused lady at the counter
>'good day, do you have any literary realism (i don't recall if i said literary or if i was specific and asked for russian realism, unimportant)'
>"yeah, I think we do..."
>my face lights up
>"but can you tell me what literary realism IS so I can check?"
>areyoufuckingkiddingme.avi
>my eye starts twitching
>I start explaining and giving examples
>she proceeds to ask me about the history of literature and the history of realism in literature
>but what can you tell me about the middle ages, humans didn't really write then did they?
>'what are you even talking abo-'
>"we also have this book by Aristotle!"
>it's the poetics
>'anything else by Aristotle?'
>"we also have this book on the history of French poetry"
>'ahh yes yes I see no literary realism here too bad haha goodbye'

[Anonymous No.11551844]

>>11543195
>Catholic bookstore run by Sisters
>Variety of translations from ESV to Douay Rhiems
>Study guides and commentaries sold as well
>Array of work by theologians, scholars, Church Fathers, saints, and general Christian authors
>Sell great prayer books as well
>Beautiful icons, crucifixes, and rosaries on display for purchase
>Gregorian chant playing as background music

[Anonymous No.11551868]

>>11534283
>no aeschylus, no sophocles
That's because those would in the drama section, you pleb.

[Anonymous No.11551892]

>>11551264
moral of the story: you're a huge faggot

[Anonymous No.11552006]

>>11550699

> Go to Christian bookstore

Ask for books on Hermeneutics or apologetics and watch the goo run from their ears as their brains melt.

[Anonymous No.11552062]

>>11551264
You sound pretty annoying to be desu

[Anonymous No.11552079]

This happened years ago

>Traveling back from visiting friend at uni
>Notice used bookstore near back of industrial complex
>Dafug, nothing on google maps
>Waltz in
>Nobody in shop
>No Ac; hot as hell
>Smells like a fire hazard
>Entire "store" is an old plumbing shop filled to the brim with books and records.
>Books are littered everywhere with almost no organization; some bookshelf’s have fallen over; it's almost impossible to navigate because the sheer amount of book boxes stacked everywhere
>Shout for an owner
>no reply
>Decide to go full out urban explorer
>Most of the books are library books or defunct university library books; but lot’s of surprisingly old antiques.
>Trip over 7 boxes get to the back
>Finally find the register with a windows 95 computer, there’s a big cardboard sign across the register that says “be back soon”
>Decide to dig through in the meantime
>Dig and stuff my backpack for 30 mins sweating like a pig.
>Nobody in the store still and none of the books are marked
>Fuck it
>head out and leave 5 dollars on the counter for about 500 dollars’ worth of books

Wish I had pictures the place looked unreal

[Anonymous No.11552200]

>>11552079
There's a place like that in Norfolk, VA. Shelves full of books, books piled all over the floor, and the owner or a cashier never seem to be around.

[Anonymous No.11552274]

>>11547226
I uh.... dont have a cellphone...

It's a problem when it comes to these things. If anything it's a conversation starter, although it gets tiring hearing "OMG you dont have a cellphone? HOW DO YOU SURVIVE?"

[Anonymous No.11552292]

>>11549964
Incredibly dull and utterly reddit-tier. Dont post again, and dont @ me

[Anonymous No.11553117]

>>11537931
If the books were good then I'd have gone back desu

[Anonymous No.11553121]

>>11542359
Also groaning

[that nig with an e30 No.11553546]

>>11534338
>AAVE for levity.

My good sir please stop appropriating my culture

[Anonymous No.11553588]

Only one bookstore in my county. Used book store. Charges nothing less than cover price on everything; rounds up prices, i.e. $19.95 to $20.

[Anonymous No.11553590]

>>11534529
I stopped by Powell's briefly on my way to the Museum of Science and Industry, and it seemed very solid.

[Anonymous No.11553630]

>>11543337
>I leave the store with a copy of Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception under my coat, unpaid for

[Anonymous No.11553638]

>>11545515

[Anonymous No.11553642]

>>11547990
Honestly, I wonder what would happen if bookstores charged like a buck for admission. I would probably still go if it was easy to pay like I just had to swipe my credit card or something.

[Anonymous No.11553731]

>>11550699
My personal favorite is "The Lego Bible".

[Anonymous No.11553742]

>>11549964
it doesn't work

[Anonymous No.11553801]

>>11534891
United States of Amerisharts

[Anonymous No.11553804]

>>11534529
>Niantic, CT
What college do you go to, anon?

[Anonymous No.11553826]

>>11551892
>>11552062
After some thinking, I've come to the conclusion that the two of you are right and I offer my sincerest apologies to anyone I've ever been annoying to.

[Anonymous No.11553845]

>>11537079
All libraries?

[Anonymous No.11553909]

>>11553731
The Lego Bible is unironically based.

[Anonymous No.11554043]

>>11534483
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWEBui2M-LI

[Anonymous No.11554079]

>>11553801
Sounds Anglo Canadian, Mutts don't use ,"Washroom."

[Anonymous No.11554172]

>>11540824
Bakka-Phoenix Books has a great scifi and fantasy collection

[Anonymous No.11554909]

bump :)

[Anonymous No.11555020]

>be me, unemployed and living in late 90s Seattle
>walking through the Ravenna neighborhood because I got nothing better to do and staying at my boarding house sucks.
>See a painted wooden sign near the sidewalk with an arrow pointing towards a used bookstore. It's a little strange since it's a mostly residential neighborhood.
>Follow the arrow, which leads to another sign with an arrow and then another, finally stopping at what seems to be the backyard of a large house. There is a sign that simply reads "Open" on the basement door.
>Enter
>There is a long dimly lit hallway with a ton of pipes along the ceiling. There is a single row of wooden shelves along the hallway about six feet up. All the books are hardbound and old with Greek text for the titles. No idea what they were.
>Walk down the hallway towards a light around the corner. Find myself in a large room with several rooms branching off, all filled to the brim with bookshelves and books. At the back of the room at a raised counter there's a middle aged clerk who appears to be doing some sort of inventory/data entry on a box of books. He doesn't acknowledge my presence. Other than me and him the place is empty. I notice a sign that says "Cash only". Shit, only had five bucks on me.
> Browse a bit. The place seems to specialize in books published between the 1940s and 1970s, mostly academic or literary. Very little in the way of shit like used Robert Ludlum novels and the like.
>Find an entire section dedicated to foreign literature translated into English, organized by original language.
>Holy shit, so much stuff I want but don't have the money for.
>Settle for a translation of the poetry of Francois Villon.
>Go up to pay for it. Somehow the original middle aged clerk had been replaced by another middle aged clerk without them saying a word to each other when switching off.
>Go and pay for the book. I notice that the computer he's entering data into is a Commodore 128. He looks at my book, puts another disk in and apparently removes my copy from their inventory. He then handwrites me a receipt for the $3.50 I paid for the book in a carbon copy pad and gives me the top copy. Doesn't say a word the entire time other than "Thank You" when the transaction is complete.
>I leave
>Despite the fact I really wanted to return to that store and buy more books, I never saw that sign out on the sidewalk again.

[Anonymous No.11555040]

>>11554079
We use washroom in the states but I can't speak for every region.

[Anonymous No.11555652]

>>11534653
Surprised to see how many people are reading this one for the first time, it's at least 4 years old

[Anonymous No.11555658]

>>11538036
fucking lmao my dude

[Anonymous No.11555664]

>>11541122
maybe your IBS was rough that day and you couldn't keep in your toot toots lol

[Anonymous No.11555670]

>>11545515
Always bugs me that Rupi Kaur is placed into the classics section. A bestseller isn't necessarily a classic, if it was then why don't we just slot The Hunger Games and the latest BBC cookbook under Classics too. Really gets my autism going.

[Anonymous No.11555696]

>>11546978
howdy

[Anonymous No.11555960]

>>11552079
What nice curiosities and antiques did you get?

[Anonymous No.11555975]

>>11534483
Damn, If I had a nickle for every Woolf fan who de-mapped themselves

[Anonymous No.11556179]

>>11543279
Made me burst into treats a+

[Anonymous No.11556272]

>>11555020
This is like an episode of X-Files

[Anonymous No.11556278]

>>11552274
>dont have a cellphone
This is seriously unacceptable. Fix this.

[Anonymous No.11556327]

>>11545279
>Kindle breaks
>Buy a new one
>Amazon, only rivalled by Google, now has full control over all literature as nobody bothered with physical stores anymore
>Kindle now only accepts azw4 format with draconian online only verification process for each book
>Gladly pay up as it's a small price to pay to view a rendering of your books in almost as high definition as the original
>Browsing book selection, screen flickers then becomes unresponsive
>Only the top half of the book you were about to read is visible, pic related
>"oh well, time for another new kindle."
>Toss the bricked device to your kindle stack
>Remind yourself with each purchase you are saving yourself the inconvenience of physical labour, speaking to others and all the while saving the planet as no trees had to be harmed for you to read
>Chinese kindle finally arrives, resume reading extensive collection of obscure literature so nobody can make assumptions about you
>In the middle of your book, you are interrupted when you are informed that your device has been logged out of your Amazon account and you must log back in
>Attempt to log back in, your password is incorrect
>Request new password, go to log into email and turn on your extensive collection of Shania Twain FLACs
>Email password is incorrect
>Your email still displays in your contacts, the name is now in Chinese
>Don't try to reobtain accounts as it would require speaking to people and physical labour
>Cut losses and snuggle with bodypillow, Shania's "Feel like a woman" plays. You are comforted by the thought that "at least I have my lossless music collection".
>Begin to groove, but only slightly as not to succumb too much to exhaustion
>Mid groove, the music stops
>Throw off your recording studio grade headphones in a rage
>Your hard drive has failed, your entire Shania collection, gone

[Anonymous No.11556602]

>>11537263
I live in Paris and you managed to be even gayer than I am. Shakespeare & Co...

[Anonymous No.11556618]

>>11555020
I think I read this story in a Thomas Ligotti anthology

[Anonymous No.11556633]

>>11551264
you are a pretentious faggot 2bh

showing off your wikipedia education to a disinterested $10/hour clerk is highly obnoxious and unintentionally hilarious behavior

[Anonymous No.11557620]

>>11549964
lol

[Anonymous No.11557639]

>>11551264
Holden Caulfield?

[Anonymous No.11557895]

>>11555020
I get it, "bookstore horror stories" you took it literally.

[Anonymous No.11558050]

>>11555040
The correct nomenclature is "bathroom", good sir.

[Anonymous No.11558499]

>>11553804
whats ur name anon maybe we know each other

[Anonymous No.11558511]

>>11555960
I'll never tell!

[Anonymous No.11558520]

>>11556327
KEK

[Anonymous No.11558535]

>>11558499
Dexter
Also check'd

[Anonymous No.11558544]

>>11558535
damn, negative.. hell of a bookstore tho <3

[Anonymous No.11558591]

>>11558544
I've heard good things about it so I'll definitely check it out when I move back in for the fall.

[Anonymous No.11558915]

>>11558591
what school do you go to though if i can ask?

[Anonymous No.11559030]

>>11556272
The funny thing is that it's a true story, honest to God. I think the only part I may be cloudy on is the computer. I think it was a Commodore 128, but it could have been another really old pre-MSDOS computer.

Definitely one of the weirdest experiences in my life. I was kinda hoping someone here in Seattle could verify that I'm not nuts and a weird ass used bookstore in Ravenna existed at the time.

[Anonymous No.11559047]

>>11557895
Nope, it actually happened. And it wasn't really horrific in any way. Just very disconcerting.

I still have the translation of Villon's poetry. It's a first edition Signet Classic from 1965. I can photograph it and the handwritten price inside.

[Anonymous No.11559395]

>>11559047
I believe you but am still interested in the picture.

[Anonymous No.11559454]

>>11559395
Here's the cover.

[Anonymous No.11559458]

>>11559395
And the price inside. It's listed as 3 bucks but I paid 3.50 because sales tax (I probably got some change back).

[Anonymous No.11560257]

>>11558915
Connecticut college