/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.11325713]

Can I get some advice please /lit/?

>be me
>January 2017
>25 at the time
>live and work in a major city
>staying at in my home state for three weeks over Christmas holidays
>see a competition for writers under 35 and "based in" the state
>had a plan to get out of the city and return to that state within a few months
>wrote a story and submitted not thinking I'd win etc
>get an email two months later saying I'd won
>they put my photograph, name etc on the internet
>still figured I'd have moved back in time for the award ceremony a few months later
>also applied to study for a Masters so figured I'd be back
>I fail to quit by that time and masters idea didn't work out
>ask my boss if I can work from home (in my home state) during that week instead so at least I still qualify in a technical sense
>receive the award and prize money
>feel fucking terrible ever since
>feel like a fraud who conned well-meaning people out of money and took advantage of their kindness
>I ended up not resigning (couldn't find a job in my home state and the Masters degree idea fell through) and moved back to the city soon after
>had an email earlier this week asking me to attend this year

I'm planning to email the organizer later on today to explain myself. Hopefully they will understand and not make a big deal out of it, but maybe they'll think I'm a sinister liar. The guilt is seriously heavy and has been all year.

Any advice?

[Anonymous No.11326132]

>>11325713
Imaging caring about something so trivial. Congratulations on your win, but nobody cares.

[Anonymous No.11326222]

>>11326132
It isn't trivial to me. I won a cash prize, ahead of people who probably earn less than me and needed it more. Money wasn't the reason I submitted my story, but since I am now earning a decent wage I feel like a complete fraud for living away from my region yet claiming to be closely bonded to it. The money, moreover, was raised by normal people contributing what little they could. So for me to take that money while barely qualifying for the prize makes me feel like the worst kind of money-grabber.

[Anonymous No.11326238]

>>11325713
What was the story about?

[Anonymous No.11326246]

>>11326238
I don't really want to say, partly because I don't want to get doxxed and partly because I wish I had never written it and feel ashamed of its quality (not a humblebrag btw).

[Anonymous No.11326249]

>>11325713
What's the fucking difference where you live? Your piece was the best so you won. Don't get bogged down by ''muh other people might have better use for it'' because there's always someone poorer than you and that doesn't mean you should give out all your possesions

[Anonymous No.11326266]

>>11326249
Imagine you were born in Ohio and lived there most of your life surrounded largely by poverty. Then imagine you moved away to New York but applied for a competition for Ohio-based writer, with the intention of being back there by summer's end but not actually following through on that intention. That's basically my situation? I feel like I parachuted in to somewhere and took money shamelessly which I wasn't rightfully deserving of, only to return to New York afterwards.

[Anonymous No.11326300]

>>11326266
If you are so sensitive to poverty you should've thought of it before. You can support your community in Ohio with that money, or you can, you know, not, because it's the government's duty to keep it's citizens above the poverty level and not yours. Donate the money somewhere or stop acting like just now do you care for the community while doing nothing. Also, consider that if you didn't take part in that competition, the person who would've won most probably wouldn't be going aroung donating it but rather just buy nice things

[Anonymous No.11326310]

>>11326266
Donate the money to a Ohio based charity or something

[Anonymous No.11326482]

You're a terrible person, OP.

The fact that you can't make a decision and you're relying on anonymous 4Chan posters to be your moral arbiter reinforces what a scumbag you are.

[Anonymous No.11328184]

>>11326222
You won because you wrote the best story. It was a merit-based award, not need-based, and you wrote the story while living in the state.

You did nothing wrong. Be proud of your accomplishment and use it to advance your writing career.

[Anonymous No.11328212]

You're just bragging in the guise of some artificial moral dilemma

Start learning about yourself

Good work on the story

[Anonymous No.11328417]

>>11325713
This is such an absurd non-issue that I'm fucking puzzled.
anyone who isn't trying to hide their bragging over winning under a thin veil of "oh but I lied I didn't deserve to win haha!" wouldn't post it so anonymous mongolian yakk herding forum posters could give them advice

[Anonymous No.11329304]

>>11328417
Yak is spelled with one K. Stupid fucking south-slope herders don't know how to type. NORTH SLOPE 4 LYFE