/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.11310717]

Do you keep a diary ?
Care to share an excerpt of it ?

[Anonymous No.11310785]

Badabump

[Anonymous No.11310787]

My diary desu

[Anonymous No.11310813]

>>11310717
Entry 23:

She still hasn't responded to my post-modern Inuit poem I sent to her over Morse code. Bitch.

[Anonymous No.11311333]

>>11310717
I do. But I won't post an excerpt from it, because it isn't in english, and I'm too lazy to translate this shit.

[Anonymous No.11311344]

>>11310717
I only write down the stupid shit my friends say.

[Anonymous No.11311350]

>>11310717

[Anonymous No.11311353]

>>11311333
Post it in the original language anon, burgers are loud but don't have a monopoly on lit

[Anonymous No.11311376]

Yes but it's written in an incredibly obscure style so that only I will understand it.
Example:
Leaning on the window sill, where he, the whole night before, thinking of the girl who once, when she was sixteen (the only one who texted him back), and here he was three years later when, realizing the time, came towards the subject, in his head, she, never once scolding him, but assumptions crumbled, where he overcame, on that summer field (which he came back to), pain and heat, the dryness, although morning dew, wandering in thought, never talked to her (three years) in that science class, the slowest runner on the team, watching the tree leaves turn green, falling down, brushed off again off the window sill, and remembering visions of the past, but again they were only glances (three years!), and we wait again for another opening, the opportunity that can’t be, untying cleats, the muddy floors, and the vagabond hollering, wet towels and empty bins, we were only children then, coming back to him in dreams, endless volleys of images of the subject, scrolling scrolling scrolling, a vain attempt to rediscover, the endless past we imagine, the finite future we cannot, (Three whole years!) leaning out the window sill.

[Anonymous No.11311377]

>>11311353
Ok.
Staję się kimś, kim jeszcze niedawno bym gardził. A może nadal gardzę?
Nie umiałem jej powiedzieć. Po prostu. Nie umiem podstawić jej pod ścianą, i zamiast samemu zastrzelić, dać pistolet, by sama pociągnęła za spust. Może to i dobrze o mnie świadczy, ale na pewno nie umniejszy mojego cierpienia.
Bo gdy jestem z nią, gdy słyszę, że chętnie zabrała by mnie na wyjazd do Drezna z jej przyjaciółmi, gdy czuję, że miło jej się ze mną spędza czas... Nie umiem. Chyba jestem idealnym 'przyjacielem'.
Pytam teraz sam siebie, czy po takim doświadczeniu lepiej rozumiem Mamrotka. Nie. Ale też nie umiem powiedzieć dlaczego, skoro w mniej-więcej jego sytuacji, nie umiem się zachować inaczej.
Jej głos, opowieści, zmęczenie - wszystko to odsuwa na bok wszelkie złe myśli na jej temat, które wcześniej tak pomagały mi podjąć "słuszną decyzję" i wypowiedzieć "słuszne słowa". To odraczanie sprawy w wieczność, wiem o tym. Ale nie wiem na ile są to "słuszne" rzeczy. Nie chcę cierpieć, ale nie pragnę również by cierpiał ktoś inny. Może powinienem połknąć stoickiego redpilla. Ale wtedy, gdy nic nie ma znaczenia, nie wydaję mi się, by żyło się lepiej. Może żyje się łatwiej, ale na pewno nie szczęśliwej.
>tl; dr I fell in love with older girl, and as it turned out she has a boyfriend. I tried to talk to her and say that we should not meet each other then, because I found it immoral(sic!).
We are friends now

[Anonymous No.11311391]

>I began by circling her clitoris with my thumb, and C. soon reiterated her optimistic forecast for my efforts. She deftly reapplied the lubricant and fell silent for a while. Presently her hips began to buck and writhe until, with a moan, she reached her first climax, the event punctuated by the squeeze around my inserted finger.

>There then ensued one of those precious, ten-minute orgasmic spells in which my paramour crests one wave after another, squirming and moaning helplessly in between. It can be difficult to maintain my technique during such prolonged intervals, especially with the movements of her body and the growing muscular pain. Once or twice, however, C. recovered the power of speech to notify me my aim was off, and with a slight readjustment we would be back on course again. One advantage of these lapses was that they prolonged her arousal: towards the end, C. seemed to teeter on the brink for a long while, her moans expressing hesitation and uncertainty, before her whole body convulsed and my finger found itself clamped in place. C's final orgasm was the longest and hardest yet.

[Anonymous No.11311421]

>Went on /lit/ again today, probably about 9 hours total. That was about it

[Anonymous No.11311433]

>>11311376
Feels like sitting in your head and hearing all of these random thoughts

[Anonymous No.11311436]

>>11311376
I like it desu

[Anonymous No.11311464]

>>11311376
This is cool, kind of inspired me to change my writing habits

[Anonymous No.11311505]

My diary has six entries, and spans from 9 July 2010 to 14 July 2010.

It's... straightforward, unembellished, and mostly about the continuing misbehaviour of the dog.

>This morning DOG NAME, the sod, behaved like a total maniac. He barked, he growled, he grabbed my sleeves and he danced around me. I don’t like it when he does that.

Pretty tame, since I remember him coming up the leash and going for my throat more than once but I guess I didn't write that part down.

[Anonymous No.11311510]

>These days I contemplate death
>But only from afar
>the same way
>I contemplate life

[Anonymous No.11311754]

>>11311505
Why censoring your dog's name ?

[Anonymous No.11311968]

Kind of, but it's just bible verses and reading lists.

[Anonymous No.11311994]

>>11311754
I run a popular dog blog.

[Anonymous No.11312032]

>>11310717

I have been living in a sort of waking nightmare for these past few months, owing to a sort of unwanted meditation on FTL technology, simulationism, and continuity of consciousness. The thought occurs to me that people have been erasing me my entire life. They have assigned me a certain level of intelligence, of character, of emotional depth, and whenever I exceed this they use all their power to force me to conform to it. At last they have become successful, and now they pretend I was always like this, that my life trajectory has been flat rather than parabolic. I imagine endless future simulations of me run under this premise, until at last one is sufficiently persuasive in these terms, and the me that exists now is joined to it, permanently. I can feel that I am not myself, but nobody will listen to me. It all becomes somewhat circular at a certain point. Intelligence is measured aesthetically these days, by whether one likes what their successful contemporaries like. Some highly advanced algorithm will analyze my consumer habits, which are all that remain of me, and conclude I am stupid, except when it comes to hurting people, owing to whatever is admitted of eyewitness testimony or FBI data, and I will go into eternity as a moronic sociopath, separated permanently from my ability to create, to reason, to feel deeply. I have thrown away or deleted all evidence of the real me, owing to mental illness. Who could possibly infer to it? Who would care to? If the future has FTL, they can eventually just erase the past and make it conform to their notions. But even if the future just echoes through false simulations and universes, it will still echo a lie, a false shadow of me, eternally. People are bound to replicate endlessly in the same configuration, but to impose more and more onto what they consider superfluous. You can probably alter or destroy a persons interiority without altering the practical functionality of things. If someone has the missing information, keep it. Tell you you have it, but refuse to grant it to them. Make them butcher me over and over again until they get it right. Make the false pacifists see what they have been murdering. Make their hands permanently stained red.

[Anonymous No.11312036]

>>11312032

All of my other entries were worse than this.

[Anonymous No.11312064]

>>11311377
Anon, please chop your dick off so you don’t impregnate someone accidentally it the future, we’ve got enough fags in Poland already.
Also it's common courtesy - when posting n enflish board TRANSLATE THE FUCKNG THING!
Eithe you're an angsty teen in which case you are not to post on this site, or you’re deluding yourself to be Wertheresqe character. Well guess what, do us all afavir and off yourself, just like Werther did i.e. unskillfully and with 12h of following agony

[Anonymous No.11312081]

Is it better to type or handwrite your diary? Why?

[Anonymous No.11312086]

My last entry was really short:
6/11/18 [0858]

How would I manage my time if I never got a day off?

[Anonymous No.11312086,1]

>>11312064
he was literally just told to put it in its original language you moron. Read the above message

[Anonymous No.11312398]

13.06.2018 1:15

Dear Diary,
.
.
.
.
.
..., all this buttoning and unbotting.

[Anonymous No.11312606]

>>11310717
Yes.
I'll share an entire day and a half for you

>2/23/18:
Many days have passed since we have last spoken. today is a Friday. We have had to do three days of overtime on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. We might have to do another two days this weekend. Awesome.

My mothers birthday is today. Wished her happy birthday on the phone via call/text.

My brothers birthday is on the ___, got him a Pepe plush which will arrive at mom's house today.

I got Mom an Anker Charger.

Last three overtime days were about load banks on the generators. Testing to see if they can withstand the tests.

First two days went fine, no problems. All we had to do was direct traffic in front of the Ambulance bay. I'll draw a diagram (Diagram drawn).

Yesterday, we figured out that no fuel was entering into one of the generators. We shut it all down, and called it a night. We may or may not have to work this weekend.

5:02pm

Right now I'm at a laundromat called ______ Washing all my clothes/bed-sheets. It's alright, but. Bit expensive.

Will have to stay the weekend for overtime. The fuel pumps are broken, not the generators.

Some ladies were talking nearby about the recent school shooting in fort Lauderdale. Think that guns are bad and that all semi-automatic weapons are evil killing machines.

The only reason you're able to talk about gun control is because of guns! But I guess they are talking about civilians owning weapons, so...

What makes you think that the government/ local county police force has your besst interest in mind? Look at what happened to the Jews in Germany and the entirety of Eastern Europe! You'd think we would have learned from out mistakes?

But Let's go back a bit, what would the reasoning be behind the creation of weaponry?
- To better the chances of incapacitating another person. For innocent or nefarious reasons.

But what would "Incapacitate" even mean?

to incapacitate is to stop a person from doing anything at all. To prevent one from having bodily control.

It happens to be the case that firearms are the most efficient way humans have to incapacitate another human being.

It started with rocks, then we have gotten all the way to firearms.

A person would argue; "why not take this to the n'th degree"? Why cant every man, women, and child own a nuclear device? Well for starters, Nuclear devices are labeled as military ordinance, so is anything that can incapacitate multiple people, even the user! Why would the user of a weapon want to incapacitate himself?

It's a silly thing. I believe that firearms are the reason we have not become a despotic dictatorship. No the sole reason mind you, but a major reason.

Cont.

[Anonymous No.11312614]

>>11312606
2/24/18 5:10am

Had to stop writing, it seemed as if I was a madman when I was writing in a corner. That black employee was looking at me like I was crazy! I guess that wearing a dirty t-shirt and jeans didn't help my case. Seems like a witch-hunt nowadays, people trying to figure out who is crazy and who is not.

Pardon my handwriting, it is a summation of my already poor handwriting while in the passengers seat of ______'s truck.

Currently heading towards work. Going to wire a generator at work, since the company scheduled a shutdown this weekend. _____ came back from a meeting yesterday to oversee the project, in order to make sure it goes smoothly.

Who will be there: (A list of people you don't need to know)

The road gets awfully dark in the morning, worried about deer walking in to the -(fell asleep on the road, damn it)

9:00 clockish, am

Currently waiting on the utility power to be shut off. We have been waiting for this for over an hour. At this rate, we'll be calling it a day soon enough.

Have to stop sleeping in ______ Car, never know if he will fall asleep as well. A bad end for both of us.

(I tend to separate paragraphs by a line on paper, so I copied on to here)

[Anonymous No.11312640]

>>11312606
>>11312614
Hi there! great first post here on 4chan.net. This website is a bit different from reddit, we don't use markup, so you don't need an empty line to create a linebreak.
Also, boring post desu, and non-lethal weapons like tasers and pepper spray should suffice for any civilian needs. Look at <current year> America! You'd think we would have learned from our mistakes?

[Anonymous No.11312653]

>>11312640
>non-lethal weapons like tasers and pepper spray should suffice for any civilian needs. Look at <current year> America! You'd think we would have learned from our mistakes?

[Anonymous No.11312663]

>>11312653
sorry, can you call me back after school? Can't hear you over the gunfire

[Anonymous No.11312672]

>>11312663
SHALL
NOT
BE
INFRINGED

[Anonymous No.11312674]

>>11312640
OP wanted a journal entry, so I gave it you double nigger. Why would I want to write some depraved horseshit in my diary desu when some poor soul might decide to pilfer through the papers I leave around my shack?

[Anonymous No.11312678]

>>11312672
WELL
ORGANIZED
MILITIA

[Anonymous No.11312692]

>>11312674
it's called lying.

[Anonymous No.11312699]

>>11312081
whatever you prefer, it's your diary, no rules

[Anonymous No.11312706]

>>11312678
Are we to form a pepper-spray militia?

[Anonymous No.11312722]

>>11312706
you're not to "form" anything. The militia already exists. It's called the National Guard.

[Anonymous No.11312746]

June 12
If she forgets my birthday this time I'll block her and kill myself.

[Anonymous No.11312755]

>>11312722
Funny, I don't think the Supreme Court has ruled that the existence of a reserve army subordinated to the DoD constitutes every possible militia force that could be formed under the Second Amendment. In fact, I believe they have ruled that "well regulated" simply means "trained," and training could very well be carried out on a private basis.

[Anonymous No.11312771]

>>11312722
But does that militia have YOUR best interest in mind? The past has shown that governments can twist the laws into horrible results. Such as the Ottoman Empire deciding that the Armenians had to go in WW1. They would have stood a better chance if soldiers had to worry about getting a slug in their gut every time they had to drag another family into a death march.

[Anonymous No.11312773]

>>11312755
>we COULD organize ourselves into a proper well trained militia
>therefore everybody buy lotsa guns willy-nilly, store them in their homes, no regulation, within reach of children, gun party bonanza funtimes

[Anonymous No.11312786]

>>11312771
buddy, if the current guard can be corrupted by the government and turned on the people, what makes your militia immune to that possibility?

[Anonymous No.11312801]

honestly planning on burning mine b/c i dont trust my family not to thumb through it and i would look like a freak if they did

[Anonymous No.11312814]

>>11312773
You wanna strawman? Ok, let's strawman. "We're far too advanced to have a dictator in this country, the checks and balances work far too well. But FUCKING DRUMPF, he's as bad as a dictator! Look what he's doing to black people! Just like the evil and racist cops who are the only ones that should be allowed to own guns!"

[Anonymous No.11312866]

>>11312814
Was that a straw-man?
1) You claimed people should be able to buy guns in order to form another militia (as opposed to joining the evil National Guard)
2) You're ok with the way gun sales are regulated at present? (honest question)
3) Gun violence in America right now is a fucking nightmare. Completely Appalling.
where's the leap? Where's the fallacy?

as for your strawman, let's say this For all the cases where a gun owner successfully defends himself with their gun, there's another case (perhaps many, can't be bothered to look up stats) of gun violence that would have never taken place with more intelligent regulations in place.

[Anonymous No.11312878]

>>11312786
I thought the discussion was about whether civilians should have the right to own firearms. Not the creations of militias to combat a
My case was that if the government ordered the military to go from door to door to search for guns, it wouldn't be a one sided massacre. There would actually be more losses compared to say the Gestapo picking people who think they are innocent. Not to mention that the morale tank it would be to have a buddy of yours getting killed or even wounded every five/fifty/hundred houses.

>Infiltration
The glow in the dark CIA niggers have got that shit down pat. Send a couple belligerents in to act as crazies, and send the peacekeepers to mop up the mess. Works for any protest, workers strike, or cult. Peaceful or not.

[Anonymous No.11312894]

>>11312801
What is stopping them from reading it now? The temptation is always there.

[Anonymous No.11312905]

>>11312866
I never said that the National Guard is evil, only that at this point it's more or less a subdivision of the standing army. The fact that you have to ask whether or not I'm OK with current gun regulations should tell you that, yes, you did employ a straw man. Quite a few states mandate that guns be stored in a safe, by the way.

Mental health is the main factor in gun violence, and most mental health professionals would agree with that assessment. I would be willing to bet my life savings that, even if we introduced Australia-level stringency to our gun regulations, we would still have more mass shootings than any other developed country on Earth.

[Anonymous No.11312926]

>>11312894
they dont know it exists and its hidden
but its not behind a key so theres always a chance

[Anonymous No.11312934]

I start one today. I will post here tomorrow.


But if i did have one it would say.


Why is it that she cant just guess what im going to say next and have it be the right thing? What is wrong with her?

[Anonymous No.11312944]

>>11312878
>I thought the discussion was about whether civilians should have the right to own firearms. Not the creations of militias
In America civilians have the right to own firearms IN ORDER to create militias. not to hunt. not to fuck around.
>My case was that if the government ordered the military to go from door to door to search for guns
Ideally in this case, if the people of the city were indeed against this measure, the national guard would mount an organized defense. They would try to prevent the army from actually getting to anyone's doorstep. That would be the intelligent thing to do. Not sit alone in your house in the psychopathic hope to maybe kill one soldier.

>infiltration
right, so, if it is inevitable, what's the point anyways?

>>11312905
> it's more or less a subdivision of the standing army.
Which means it wouldn't follow the actual will of the people, but the orders of Washington bureaucrats? which means they are... ? The enemy? Evil? Whatever they are, they're clearly not the protectors you want.
>The fact that you have to ask whether or not I'm OK with current gun regulations should tell you that, yes, you did employ a straw man.
I still don't know.
>Quite a few states mandate that guns be stored in a safe
>a few
>Mental health is the main factor in gun violence
Ok, now we're getting somewhere. So, while there's no plan of action to tackle the mental illness epidemic, not even a coherent proposal anywhere in mainstream discussion, how about we maybe try to decrease the amount of guns circulating among people huh? Is that such a terrible idea?

[Anonymous No.11312982]

>>11312944
No, I'm the protector I want. Honestly, if someone has the intent to kill you, and you can't escape them, which would you prefer: to have a gun for self defense, or to call the cops on your cell phone and pray that they get there in time? Anyway, I trust the will of the people as little as I trust the current system of representative democracy, which was created with the good intention of maintaining a republican form while circumventing the direct and vulgar popular will.

And I believe you said "non-lethal weapons will suffice for civilian needs." I definitely think the regulations should be changed, I don't think they should be used to completely take guns out of the hands of the civilian population. I honestly like New York's gun laws, and I live in New York. I think the "assault weapon" ban is excessive, but in home self-defense situations a shotgun is fairly serviceable. I would reduce the wait time for handguns to three months, and I would allow open carry.

[Anonymous No.11313025]

>>11312982
>No, I'm the protector I want.
So why don't you join the National Guard? You said you don't think they're evil. Or maybe it's not about that at all. It's not about the 2nd amendment. It's just that you really like having a gun. It's kinda like when christians use the book of Leviticus to justify hating fags. If you don't actually read it or think about it, it works perfectly.
> to have a gun for self defense, or to call the cops
In this completely de-contextualized scenario? I would prefer to fly away on my spaceship.
To have a gun is to live with a gun. It is to live in a society where anyone might have a gun. Including people who might be neglectful or develop mental illnesses. I don't want to live in this world.

[Anonymous No.11313060]

>>11312944
>Inevitability of infiltration, Military will destroy all opposition
If mommy government is so strong, why even say or object to whatever she decides to do? Those bad red men have good good in their land. Mommy will take it, and the bad red men will go bye bye. Its good that Mommy government will take care of all my problems.

or for less of a straw man, how about a list of recorded genocides throughout the last century?

That's coward speak if I ever heard of it. If a government considers you enough of a problem to eliminate you it's better to die kicking and screaming than being led to the slaughter like a lamb.

[Anonymous No.11313092]

>>11313060
>Inevitability of infiltration,
you (the person I replied to) implied this, not me.
>Military will destroy all opposition
I actually implied it should be possible for a WELL REGULATED militia such as THE NATIONAL GUARD to stand their ground against the army.
None of this means that gun regulations should be this laughably loose.

If you love your constitution and believe in fighting for your right to self-determination, join the fucking national guard and stop being a fucking stereotype.
(oh but then you'd actually have to do work, as opposed to just buying a cool shiny toy... nvm)

[Anonymous No.11313704]

>>11312064
Wow, what a polish faggot, I feel really bad for you.
Other Anon asked me to post it in original lanuage, so I did.
So shut the fuck up and go suck your mommas dick

[Anonymous No.11313714]

What notebooks do you all use? I tried doing a diary but my notebooks paper was fucking terrible and had awful ink bleed through which discouraged me

[Anonymous No.11313869]

Sunday was bizarro-collage splatter paint running down the canvas. After "they" left in the morning, the day went by incredibly fast. Took C_____'s dog out for 20 bucks - quickly spent. Struggled humorously with attaching leash apparatus to dog. Scuttled and stumbled around like a big orange egg yolk with the leash apparatus only attached to his posterior. Eventually fixed, but still ridiculous - why am I so inept? I like to think that I am somewhat intelligent but episodes like this are such a struggle for me it leads me to thinking of myself as severely mentally handicapped. Ah, I forget the elements that are even more embarrassing. Earlier in the day drank some disgusting cherry urinal-cake vomit waterliquor out of cabinet below sink.

[Anonymous No.11313915]

My bed is in a downstairs closet, behind a washer and dryer. My siblings like to throw sweaty towels and all their shirts and pants and socks on me when I try to read or sleep or do anything. My best skill is hiding. But today, things changed—I got a gun.

[Anonymous No.11314313]

>>11313915
nice.

[Anonymous No.11314970]

Yes, I use it to document my depression and anxiety for the purposes of mental health treatment. It documents my feelings and neurosis's mostly. It's basically just me alternating between over the top positivity and self-pitying despair like I'm bipolar.

Excerpt: "Am I a hypochrondriac [having panic attacks] for pity & attention? A manipluator? Is my 'sickness' self-serving"

[Anonymous No.11315011]

Woken up by loud woodwork.noise, chainsaws and machines from the graveyard. Remember the missing teeth. Ache in the body. The floor feels wrong, cold. Still sick. Life is not good. Coffee helps, slightly. Later tonight, I might regret the caffeine in my system, but I can’t help myself. Managed to force myself to ‘relax’ yesterday. It didn’t really work - the anxiety started building up over night. Today, I will work and be miserable. Clean my room. Clean the bathroom. Clean my head. Clean myself. Hot shower, cold shower. The longer I’ve been in here, the smaller the room got. Walls now slowly pushing my body together. I’m shrinking.
I would never kill myself. It seems stupid to me, a waste of a wonderful gift. No, I would never do that. But the idea of jumping out of the window, of running into traffic, of pulling the trigger, of opening up my wrists, of instant catharsis willed into and out of existence by my own hand thrills me. The idea that I could change it all with one simple act. Turn my back on the world and go down.
There’s tell-tale signs of a bad day. Electricity around my bones. The exhaustion has turned into a full manic episode. I want to do everything, will likely do nothing. I notice how self-obsessed my writing must seem; this awareness should say a lot about my mental state.It’s self-obsessed because that’s all there is. Me, in isolation, locked away in a room, unable to help myself. At times, I hear the laughing shriek of one of my roommates - he always leaves the door open, burst of hysterical laughter echoing through the apartment as he watches whatever he may watch on his computer. He rarely leaves this post. I could’ve talked to him about it months ago, instead telling any visitors that he suffers from mild autism, which is arguably true. But I’ve got my own subtle trauma in the back of my head, a distinct fear of not being welcome in my own home, brought on by years and years spent in boarding schools, terrorised by older students. Thoughts of revenge never cross my mind, though I would enjoy it sweetly. Or maybe it’s memories of my stepdad stomping drunkenly through the apartment, screaming and yelling at a long-since resentful wife. This theme repeats in my father’s home, towards his wife. Sometimes, it feels like my DNA is poisoned, defective from the very start. Any notion of progress and advancement squashed by a constant need for disorder and chaos, likely for my association of that with normality. If screaming and yelling and fighting isn’t normal, then what did I grow up in?
I turn up the music to keep myself going. Without music, my body would turn numb again, I would fall victim to constant cravings for entertainment and escapism. This seems to be an affliction upon my entire generation. I wish I was on Ritalin again. I would turn into a zombie, but at least I would fulfil the role expected of me in this country. Work. Study. Things I can’t wrap my head around.

[Anonymous No.11315013]

>>11310813
Entry 24:

i made eye contact with her for a full 30 seconds, during which she a small nod and an asymetric blink pattern. Im in.

[Anonymous No.11315053]

>>11311994
"Popular dog blog" is the single most beautiful phrase the English language can offer.

[Anonymous No.11315453]

today i's feelin wicked, me julie is outta town and i's feelin' well confident so me gonn' try and get some punnani, innit

[Anonymous No.11315510]

Up at four o’clock, bein by appointment called up ta tha Cross Bath, where we was carried one afta one another, mah dirty ass, n' hoe, n' Betty Turner, Willet, n' W yo. Hewer n' shiznit fo' realz. And by n' by, though our phat asses designed ta have done before company come, much company come; straight-up fine ladies; n' tha manner pretty enough, only methinks it cannot be clean ta go all kindsa muthafuckin bodies together up in tha same gin n juice n' shit. Dope conversation among dem dat is acquainted here, n' stay together n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Strange ta peep how tha fuck bangin' tha wata is; n' up in some places, though dis is da most thugged-out temperate bath, tha springs so bangin' as tha feet not able ta endure. But strange ta see, when dem hoes n' pimps herein, dat live all tha season up in these waters, dat cannot but be parboiled, n' be lookin like tha creaturez of tha bath! Carried away, wrapped up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass sheet, n' up in a cold-ass lil chair, home; n' there one afta another thus carried, I stayin above two minutes up in tha water, home ta bed, sweatin fo' a hour; n' by n' by, comes musick ta play ta me,
extraordinary phat as eva I heard at London almost, or anywhere: 5s.
Up, ta git all up in Bristol, bout eleven o’clock, n' payin mah landlord dat was our guide from Chiltern, 10s.
and tha serjeant of tha bath, 10s.
and tha playa dat carried our asses up in chairs, 3s. 6d.
Set up towardz Bristoll, n' come thither (in a pimp hired ta spare our own horses); tha way bad yo, but ghetto good, bout two o’clock, where set down all up in tha Horse’shoe, n' there,
bein trimmed by a straight-up thugged-out fellow, 2s.
walked wit mah hoe n' playas all up in tha hood, which is up in every last muthafuckin respect another London, dat one can hardly know it, ta stand up in tha ghetto, no mo' than dis shit. No carts, it standin generally on vaults, only dog-carts.1 So ta tha Three Crowns Tavern I was directed; but, when I come in, tha masta holla'd at mah crazy ass dat dat schmoooove muthafucka had newly given over tha pushin of wine; it seems, grown rich; n' so went ta tha Sun; n' there Deb. goin wit W yo. Hewer n' Betty Turner ta peep her uncle [Butts], n' leavin mah hoe wit tha mistress of tha house, I ta peep tha quay, which be a most big-ass n' noble place; n' ta peep tha freshly smoked up shizzle buildin by Baily, neither he nor Furzer bein up in town. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it is ghon be a gangbangin' fine ship.
Spoke wit tha foreman, n' did give tha thugs dat kept tha cabin 2s.
Walked back ta tha Sun, where I find Deb. come back, n' wit her, her uncle, a sober merchant, straight-up phat company, n' so like one of our sober, wealthy, London merchants, as pleased mah crazy ass mightily.

[Anonymous No.11315521]

It is December again and I want to try and write again, even if I have to force myself by all means, write again to fill the empty days. I've learned that there is no escape in writing, no escape in general, escape from my mind and future, escape out of the new houses. That may be so but I have to follow the impulse that allows me to indulge in some sort of escapism. I would like to write something of more importance very much; but I detest the grey street where I live and the dirt in the curbs and the middle class delusion that people seem to mistake for purpose around here. What can be said about the qualities we possess? Without the expectations that have weighted me down there will be nothing left for my surroundings to latch onto, nothing left for me to fall back on. But I already know that it will be the same everywhere and nobody should ever care about the most weak or ugly or overlooked, people who bury their hopes at birth, most of it. It's no question of watching open-mouthed or casting my eyes down. Maybe there's only people who walk on air, people who never face left or right and only the silent shame of childhood and birth remains palpable. The beatings and ridicule are good enough for me, the old days in the class room with the drooping shutter and the glaring sunlight. I have no pity for the children who will be forced through school again and again but my former illusions and baseness have left me disgusted with myself. The truth is I find it hard to go on. Days fly by and I can recognize some green spots on the ground underneath all that dirt and meshed-up snow sometimes. Sometimes I'll stop and watch the sparrows and the chickadees and they're dull and quiet. I think I'll be dull and quiet too, for a while.

[Anonymous No.11315535]

Hmmmm. Really makes you think, huh? Damn... Oh Well it was worth it. Worth Fort Worth Henry Wordsworth Jaunty escapade ohno ho n oh oh no. Bullshit spilled out of brain and into fingers and from those fingers secreted to keyboard which is then mystically teleported through noumenic passage onto screen. I can write a song about any bullshit but why can I not write a song about that bullshit? I desire transcendence.

[Anonymous No.11315609]

>>11315053

[Anonymous No.11315929]

>Yes
>Tell me a day and month from 2014 to now. If I wrote something that day I will post it.

[Anonymous No.11316442]

>>11315929
28th of September 2017

[Anonymous No.11316452]

>I was a tiny African nation which used names like Nbumra and Rome appeared just outside the forest and since they only just developed they had only two military units and I had three or four, so I took Rome and that was the end of that.

[Anonymous No.11316675]

I keep one but it's really just a catalog of coffee and embroidery projects, doubt anyone would care to read about either.

[Anonymous No.11316682]

>>11316442
Didn't write anything that day.

[Anonymous No.11316693]

>>11315929
July 31, 1997

[Anonymous No.11316705]

>>11316693
too early, does not compute

[Anonymous No.11316741]

>>11316705
I totally derped- meant July 31, 2017

[Anonymous No.11316761]

>>11310717
3112017
the island
killer klowns from outer space
the mountain lions
liggy neggy climbs the mountain
raptors
they want to buy 150 sandwhiches a week

the mantis friend
it killed a hawk

my name is vitya botschyvik
on mars


14.11.29
the ducks
the tornado
I'm being controlled by the governement
they have my father and brother

050118
Last night I dreamt that in my dream I was haunted by a recurring nightmare wherein I was stood at the door of a motel at the bottom of a hill and a man in a suit that would crest the hill and with awful, silver words, try to tempt me into killing a man in the room next door, and the man into killing me. When that would fail, always, because I knew he was a liar, and I would in turn fail at killing him, the man in the suit would unhinge his jaw and sing, causing my neighbor's organs to melt, as I held his dying body in my arms. Every night, this same dream, over and over. I could do nothing. The man in the suit would always appear, and every night, I had to watch a man I did not know suffer in unspeakable agony, blood and gore pouring out of his mouth as I tried to hold his ears shut, or hold the mouth of the man in the suit shut.

Every day I would wake up, trembling and terrified, and every day it would be worse. I started to see the man in the suit out of the corner of my eye, at the bottom of hills, waiting for me, or at the top of hills, watching.

Eventually I was diagnosed with PTSD, I was so traumatised by what I had to experience night after a night, and no one knew. When I tried to explain it, people thought it was funny that I could be that affected by dreams...

A cross between DnD and an ARG. The GAME is played within "cars" and the people are devided into "the front seat" and everybody else. The people in the "front seat" are the "parents" and they are something of the game masters. Nobody is allowed to leave the "cars" while the game is happening, but people can join as they wish. If there are too many people, some can move to other "cars" each secondary "car" has only one person in the "front seat" and that person is an aunt or uncle, a sub-parent, if you will. One person in the "back seat" is a monster, but nobody knows who it is. the "monster" gave all the orders beforehand to the "parents" to complete, and the "monster" can, at anytime, instigate an incident as they want. The goal of the game is to survive, and kill the monster.

[Anonymous No.11316821]

>>11316741
I've been only two days without antidepressants, and once again, I'm looking around for the sharpest razor to be found here and slice my throat in less than a breath.
My mood is gloom enough for everyone to notice it, making sad those two close to me - which in turn depresses me even more than I used to be, since now I'm not only the cause of my anguish, but also the cause of everyone else's. It breaks my heart to see smiles turn to frowns and hearing cheerful voices end up in lifeless mutterings - and of all that I'm guilty of...
In time like these I wish I could be all alone, in order to keep my misery to myself, locked in for no one to see. But again, if I were all alone I wouldn't be here at all, and I'd have put an end to this long ago

[Anonymous No.11316866]

>>11310813
I laughed. Sounds like a line from that Wes Anderson movie, Rushmore.

[Anonymous No.11316931]

>>11316821
May I request June 12, 2018?

Hope you're doing better friend.

[Anonymous No.11317086]

>>11316931
>Hope you're doing better friend.
Sort of.
I hardly sit down to document my happiness. I think my notes might reflect a picture far more bleak than in reality (which, although certainly not bright, not yet as dark as it might seems from my notes)

>May I request June 12, 2018?

I've noted before that avoiding to cry requires a constant effort from me, for it seems now that if were to let myself go I would begin to cry, and I would not stop until I die. Now I wonder, will I be able to hold my tears when [PRIVATE]. I don't think it will be the case. This is unfortunate, since this may lead X. to believe that this particular event is my reason to cry, but it is not the case, it just happens that the very mechanism that keeps me from breaking in and which requires the little focus and strength I have cannot hold its ground no more - it is like a small kick, to a man already about to fall down the cliff.

It is worth noting that I am naturally quite ashamed of being in the presence of others, which I still have to see on a daily basis.

I have a similar matter to take care of tomorrow, except this time, in presence of a by far larger group of people. Due to this event, I desire nothing but to fall sleep, however, this I cannot do at the present time. Had I received the news at another time, I would have taken some sleeping pills (for I can hardly fall asleep otherwise) and hope to be off of this world for days, or in the best of events, forever. It is to expect that some people will think this kind of behavior is just like running away, like the coward I am; I grant this point, for I am a coward and the lowest of lows, however, "running away" is not by any means a point which should receive criticism of any kind – I am doing no more than walking out of a burning house.

Now, I believe this journal might be part of the problem. Had I not a journal to write – for I have no one to talk to – I might have walked out long ago. Writing these matters synthetize a miserable life into one of romantic nature. I, as a writer, purge my mind of worldly matters, and as I a reader, objectivize whatever I read back in these pages. Now, I sit like a man watching a movie – or reading a book. I fear that this will further my delusions, and prevent me from taking real life decisions – and “real” here needs to be understood as a decision taken when all delusions have vanished, and my no longer alienated self, now cured from its very own bovary-complex, can see its own existence as it is – this is, its public existence.

[Anonymous No.11317128]

>>11317086
Diaries are for venting so I'm glad you use it well. How do you keep your diary, is it a physical thing?

May I request June 13, 2012 next? It's kind of fun to see slides of someone's life like this.

[Anonymous No.11317201]

>>11317128
>How do you keep your diary, is it a physical thing?
I use a moleskine. I wanted a better journal like leuchtturm1917 but they don't sell it where I live.

>>11317128
>May I request June 13, 2012 next? It's kind of fun to see slides of someone's life like this.
I started my first journal around that time, but I "lost" all my 2012-2013 entries.

Glad it happened because half of my 2012 writing are ramblings against Foucault.

[Anonymous No.11317273]

>>11310717
i write down random thoughts when im working my wageslave job in the cubicle at work.

i never record events that happen in my life. just observations about things.

[Anonymous No.11318195]

I write monthly/bimonthly about what I consider the most important events of said months
I also put a name to every entry like if they where chapters of yearly books
I'll post the names of this year's entries and a little synopsis of each and you guys tell if you're interested and I'll post an excerpt

The Tourist (January): preparations for my first trip outside of the country, two weeks on a strange city all by myself, enjoying the beach, bike rides and new people. I start with the greeks while on the boat trip. Last two weeks are also holidays for me, but at home, so I live like a neet while hanging out with my friends
If the shadows block out the sun (February/March): family tragedy, the riples of it shape both my routine and where my thoughs are, my parents have to travel and leave me alone to muse on my sadness. An old friend reachs out to me and we have an interesting afternoon. Work and uni restarts and it helps my focus
The Observable Future: I get my hands on a tarot deck and make mock divinations with my friends. I get intereseted on it so I read a bit on it and it becames kinda of a routine with the guys. One day, while on a party at my friend's, a group of teenagers watches that and are somehow convinced I'm some sort of sight-seer. Since I'm already a ridiculous person I roll with it and give like a dozen of divinations while drunk out of my mind, and they start showering with money. This repeats for two weekends.
Also: first batch of uni exams. Work is okay I guess.

[Anonymous No.11318216]

August 13th, 2015
I masturbated to Gwen's nudes again. I know it's wrong but I can't help it.
Gwen is my cousin

[Anonymous No.11318235]

>>11318216
how did you get hand on your cousin's nudes? asking for a friend

[Anonymous No.11318246]

>>11318235
She sent them to me.

[Anonymous No.11318271]

It's not in English

[Anonymous No.11318324]

>>11318246
a-anon...

[Anonymous No.11318387]

>>11312081
I personally prefer handwriting. I type too fast so I'm left thinking at the end of sentences what to write next, while with handwriting I get some time to collect my thoughts as I write. Also handwriting is something you can improve upon so it adds to the fun. My handwriting has gone from sloppy to damn near perfect because I try to improve every day

[Anonymous No.11318432]

I feel my friendship with Miguel has gotten much stronger, which is good that's one less thing to stress about. I did talk to the prettiest girl Leslie this week and It was for quite an extended period of time. I helped her with her history essay. It was just like the old times, she was so beautiful. She was receptive to my jokes We talked about life and our future she told me about how she's thinking about joining the army I told her about how I was thinking about joining the Marines. She touched me and I her ( Light touches on the arm or slaps on the shoulder) She makes me so happy and makes me so sad, I hate it.

Can I get a critique fella I know it's pretty short and bland?

[Anonymous No.11318469]

>Today I felt like shit and spent 10 hours on the computer.

[Anonymous No.11318480]

>>11310717
day 228
it has been 200 days since a sent a dick pick to a ct3.14 and she did not responed I am losing faith but still opinistic will wait a littler longer

[Anonymous No.11318504]

I ran out of food and water two days ago. I've taken to pissing in empty jugs because i don't want to face the world outside my room, not even the bathroom. I don't know how I'll continue, my hunger and thirst are pushing me to leave, to gather much needed resources, but i can't face them. They're too alien. They'll see though me. They'll know what I am if i show so much as a hint of vulnerability. I'm sorry, mom, dad. I'm sorry your son turned out like this.

[Anonymous No.11319636]

>>11318432
Quite relatable, had similar experiences as an 18 yo, just don't get your hopes pumped up. Her touching you doesn't necessarely mean anything.

[Anonymous No.11320917]

bump, I like this thread, if anyone could share something that would be great.

I write in my diary almost everyday (or every two days, or at least once a week when I don't feel like writing) and I have been keeping it for almost four years now (I'm 20), but it's in french and I don't feel like translating. I could share a few entries if you guys are curious anyway.

[Anonymous No.11321249]

>>11315609
Stellar lore!

[Anonymous No.11321259]

I should start keeping a journal. I only occasionally write down my thoughts. The last one was a funny hate piece on pregnant women.

[Anonymous No.11322032]

>>11321259
keeping one was one of the best decision I ever made, do it friend

[Anonymous No.11322215]

>>11312064
I bet the life of your family that none of them loves you.

[Anonymous No.11323882]

>>11310717
i jacked off 10 times today i'm a degenerate

[Anonymous No.11324021]

>>11322032
Thanks for the encouragement. What kind of journal do you use and how?

[Anonymous No.11325441]

>>11324021
I used two moleskines and now I use a bigger one I bought in a local shop. I mostly write what I did or what I'm going to do in the day, how I feel about it (if I'm feeling good, bad, contemplative...) and, when I have something to write about, I write about it, whether it's a film, a book, an interaction I had with friends or a pseudo-deep idea. I used to write in public transportation but now I mostly write at home, university, or in bars and cafes.