/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.11309048]

From a psychological and philosophical perspective, how do you raise a beautiful child to not be narcissistic and rest on the laurels of their beauty? Is being beautiful the ultimate nail in the coffin to becoming a shallow and unthinking person? Any good reading on this?

[Anonymous No.11309066]

Can't suggest any good reading, but maybe strongly encourage them to invest in a skill? It doesn't have to be a practical skill, anything they like is fine. That way their identity isn't entirely wrapped up in their looks. I know the plural of anecdotes is not evidence but in my experience, pretty girls who are, for instance, good musicians are a lot less stuck up than pretty girls who are just pretty. The same is true for dudes. Handsome chads who like to sail or work on cars or whatever are pretty cool while guys that are, in effect, male bimbos are dicks.

[Anonymous No.11309067]

>>11309048
Not lit, but you would provide them with a value system where superficiality is punished and where intellectual and athletic achievements are rewarded.


Duh doy, OP

[Anonymous No.11309095]

>>11309048
Nope.

Most attractive people I know were ordinary or subpar looking people in their teenage years, and vice versa. The actual natural-born Chad is extremely rare.

[Anonymous No.11309140]

>>11309066
this is probably the best practical answer, but mostly you probably just have to hope that they develop some kind of emotional disorder

[Anonymous No.11309160]

>>11309140
>hope that they develop some kind of emotional disorder
implying an emotional disorder cannot be induced via parenting, if that really is one's goal.

Also if they it'll probably be borderline personality disorder

[Anonymous No.11309169]

>>11309140
emotional disorder will make them worse though. A low self-esteem, attractive teenager will probably become promiscuous and seek constant validation for their looks.

[Anonymous No.11309184]

>>11309169
Yep, out and out anhedonic depression would work though.

>tfw there was a really beautiful girl in one of my lectures
>tfw she never hung out with anyone or really even talked
>tfw she's absent for about a week and returns with ligature (noose) marks on her neck

[Anonymous No.11309207]

>>11309048
just don't coddle them, like >>11309066 says make them work in life. It doesn't have to be for a living but don't let them thrive solely on their appearance

[Anonymous No.11309220]

>>11309169
which, if you(they?)'re lucky, will expand their emotional and contemplative pallette. is their anything more shallow than wasting one's beauty, an accidental confluence of genetic serendipity, to become some kind of chaste nerd that only reads books like any garden-variety ugly

[Anonymous No.11309227]

Religion/Spirituality has worked for me.
Remember to stay humble while also realizing your significance. For our own actions, we are deservedly afflicted.

[Anonymous No.11309229]

>>11309220
oh dear

[Anonymous No.11309237]

>>11309227
oh yeah because you're so attractive anon

[Anonymous No.11309248]

>>11309237
I'm no model but I do look good. Lost a lot of weight and have a nice face.

[Anonymous No.11309262]

>>11309066
This, because a skill teaches them the value of setting a goal and attaining it through hard work. Learning a skill stresses hard work over natural talent, or at the least that it's best when the two work in concert. Once she's half grown up if she truly learned the lesson then she'll naturally apply it to beauty also

[Anonymous No.11309278]

>>11309048
In reality beauty like most other positive traits in abundance usually causes isolation, which often forces the person to think and be less shallow. So the better question would be how to provide them with the mechanisms to cope.

>>11309095
Heard this meme pretty often but never actually saw it being the case in reality. I do know some average ones growing to be pretty as fuck, but they had the obvious potential, while the uggos usually stayed so. And the whole "look how hot celebrity X looked lame as a kid" shit usually focuses on their clothes or mimic.

[Anonymous No.11309283]

>>11309229
you can be smart and still hit the back walls

[Anonymous No.11309286]

>>11309048
Idk, I think it's kind of a crapshoot. Back in high school I knew this one chick who was probably the most beautiful I've ever known, legit looked like a cross between Keira Knightley and Natalie Portman. She also happened to be a very talented musician, math genius who was genuinely charismatic and unexpectedly witty/funny. I think it all just depends on how they're raised. I've seen very mediocre looking people be vain and dimwitted as hell, I'm not actually convinced good looks has that big of an effect on personality defects like that.

[Anonymous No.11309454]

>>11309278
>In reality beauty like most other positive traits in abundance usually causes isolation, which often forces the person to think and be less shallow. So the better question would be how to provide them with the mechanisms to cope.

I can see that.

Isolation because of beauty could also make them focus on what other people see in them, their beauty. How do you help the value their beauty less without giving them low-self esteem? How do you help them cope with the fact that they may go through life dealing with lots of people who see their looks as their defining characteristic?

[Anonymous No.11309528]

>>11309048
Why would you, though?

Being attractive > being good > being intelligent

We live in a society, indeed.

[Anonymous No.11309536]

>>11309528
Why not all three

[Anonymous No.11309635]

>>11309536
Of course, if you are, all the better. It’s just that I wasn’t making a statement about possibility, but about value in the context of human society. Did you know that several studies show that people who see attractive individuals automatically rate them more intelligent and morally good? Beauty is the most important thing.

This is why models, actors, etc. make more money in a year sometimes than scientist throughout their whole career.

We must not forget: we live in a society.

[Anonymous No.11309637]

>>11309048
A prayer for my daughter by Yeats

[Anonymous No.11309717]

>>11309048
You beat them

[Anonymous No.11309734]

>>11309717
ok now hold on. There are three ways we can attempt to grasp the meaning of this reply. Let's start with the one that comes to mind: child abuse. Ok, sure, beat your child to ruin their beautiful faces, thereby destroying the possibility of narcissism. A valid interpretation, but not the only one. Second, abortion. Surely, the best way to prevent your child from being narcissistic is to not having a child. Take a hammer to it. Boom, done. Finally, we could draw the conclusion from this post that it refers to masturbation, or the slang for masturbation, "beat". Again, this interpretation results in the non-existence of a child where otherwise a sexual feeling would create one. However, these two last inferences do not suppose that there is a child, so we can only arrive at the conclusion that the replier is referring to black eyes and crooked noses.

[Anonymous No.11309762]

>>11309048
>girl from a normie YouTube video

[Anonymous No.11310169]

>>11309762
I want my children to be happy normies that are attractive kind people with intelligent interests and work that fulfills them. I don’t want them to browse 4chan like their dad.

[Anonymous No.11310210]

>>11309048
Read Kanye.

[Anonymous No.11310472]

>>11309048
Irene De Rosa, if anyone cares

[Anonymous No.11310489]

>>11309048
>>11309067
>>11309066
>>11309140
>>11309160
>>11309207
>>11309262
>>11309283
>>11310169
ITT: Talentless, unmotivated, and fairly average-looking young men with no particular skills and no experience in raising a child discuss fantasy educations that they secretly like to imagine would have stopped them from developing into the crippled mediocrities that they are, as well as tips for raising a hypothetical child that would be able to cope with a non-existent problem posed by a clueless OP.

Good work everyone.

[Anonymous No.11310501]

>>11310489
Brutal

[Anonymous No.11310520]

>>11310489
I haven’t posted in this thread but I’m beautiful without being narcissistic. I pretty heavily attribute it to reading literature, philosophy, spiritual writings and history so I can have a sense of all the intellectual, moral, and spiritual greats (people much better than me) who have lived throughout history.

A pretty face is a matter of lucky genetics and, to some degree, keeping up your health; it’s not proof of inherent intellectual or moral worth. I think any intelligent attractive person will realize this. If they’re already predisposed to be stupid and vain, than they sure as hell will be vain about something they have to gloat about. OP should ask, not how to prevent a beautiful child from being vain, but how to prevent their child from being vain in general. Teaching your child humility and how to should be something which applies to all their merits, not just attractiveness.

Anyway, yeah, you sound bitter and resentful, you should work that out. Armchair psychoanalyzing on 4chan rarely hits into the heart of the matter and is more proof of the poster’s own insecurities than anything else.

[Anonymous No.11310536]

>>11310520
>I’m beautiful without being narcissistic
Also don't forget that you're really humble
>you sound bitter and resentful
Please don't psychoanalyse me, its more proof of the poster’s own insecurities than anything else

[Anonymous No.11310543]

>>11309048
>how do you raise a beautiful child not to be narcissistic
you... don't? people who are more attractive command a higher level of prestige than average-looking or ugly people. you raise them to take advantage of their natural qualities or you raise them to waste their potential.

[Anonymous No.11310583]

>>11310520
>>11310520
>reading literature, philosophy, spiritual writings and history so I can have a sense of all the intellectual, moral, and spiritual greats (people much better than me)
So you needed to read about Cromwell and Goethe before you became humbled? But that would still leave you feeling superior to all the non-great people that you encounter in your daily life. You sound like such an idiot and I really hope you're just baiting with the post tbqh.

[Anonymous No.11310590]

>>11310536
I’m humble enough to say that I’m beautiful, knowing I’d look like a narcissist and get that exact response. I’m not doing psychoanalysis, I’m simply saying the emotions which reek from your post. I’m saying you currently sound bitter and resentful. Why? You clear resent the posters here and are bitter towards them, throwing out as many insults as you can with no proof behind them and no correlation to the posts you responded to. I didn’t psychoanalyze you anymore than saying “You sound sad” to someone who types “I’m sad” is psychoanalysis. Why do you feel the need to insult people you know nothing about and make up a bunch of failings for them you have no proof of if you’re not feeling hostile and resentful?

Anyway, a more pressing problem is being vain about your intellect, insight, and/or moral worth. I think these are far more common and important issues than people being vain about their looks. A person who is wanking off over how good they look and exulting over it is already pretty stupid and vain, and their problem can easily be fixed by making clear to them that just because they’re pretty doesn’t correlate to their necessarily being smart, moral, or better at certain skills than everyone else, it’s just a matter of genetics. Now, convincing someone they’re not as intelligent or insightful or moral or self-aware as they think they are, that’s a whole ‘nother issue.

[Anonymous No.11310605]

>>11310583
Is feeling humble before the size of the sun, or size of the universe in general, proof you can’t feel humble before a bigger man than you? A wider knowledge of history and the history of ideas puts one in one’s place, and also helps one to take lessons from these greater, more humble people’s humility and be more humble in day-to-day life. You and I will probably not have the same influence on world history as a Buddha, Plato, or Jesus. This is a humbling thought

[Anonymous No.11310621]

>>11310472
I can't find shit except a 9gag gif.

[Anonymous No.11310622]

Tell them the truth: beauty is fleeting and age makes everyone ugly in time

[Anonymous No.11310624]

Make them ruin it by getting a nose ring.

[Anonymous No.11310636]

>>11310590
>I’m humble enough to say that I’m beautiful, knowing I’d look like a narcissist and get that exact response
Damn this is some 4D chess-tier stuff. Did you also predict that this newest comment of yours would ironically make you look even more vain?
>anymore than saying “You sound sad” to someone who types “I’m sad” is psychoanalysis
And where exactly did I say that I'm bitter and resentful? I'm perfectly content, I just felt the urge to point out how ludicrous this thread was by stating some facts. Its a fact that none of those that I replied to have children or grew up with the imaginary educations that they are espousing. Its actually this whole thread that reeks of bitterness from people that weren't born particularly beautiful and just imagine that because of this they are now deeply thoughtful and grounded human beings.

Also are you addressing that whole post to me? I'm sorry to tell you that I don't really care about what you're saying.

>>11310605
This 'solution' doesn't really address vanity, you're just ranking people in order of their significance. Its a false and romantic kind of modesty. Also please forgive the psychoanalysis here but the way you type honestly makes you sound like someone who secretly thinks the world of themselves.

[Anonymous No.11310638]

>>11310520
it seems people here have trouble with people that can admit that they're attractive.

I'm looking at you:
>>11310536

I think >>11310520 has it right. I was raised with knowledge, skills and hard work being at the forefront of what is important. I never understood it as a child, and it wasn't until I was in my teens to now (I'm 23) that I've realized they were right. My mother often randomly told me aphorisms like beauty fades or more hilariously "no one will want to date you if you can't cook or clean." The latter is out of date, but from this I picked up that I should be developing myself and not expect others to do things for me. I was encouraged to take on whatever I was interested in and ended up taking various classes as a child. I seem to have kept this habit and often find myself reaching out to find out new things or skills.

I think it's just up to you to ingrain what should be important to your child. It's fine if the child knows their attractive, but encourage them in whatever pursuits they may be interested in and they'll realize themselves that there's more important things than looks because they've been able to harness a passion for something that they had to work towards rather than inherit.

[Anonymous No.11310643]

>>11310636
>Also are you addressing that whole post to me?
No.

>Also please forgive the psychoanalysis here but the way you type honestly makes you sound like someone who secretly thinks the world of themselves.
That’s probably true. I don’t even care anymore.

[Anonymous No.11310644]

>>11309635
what a retarded post. Just becauase you've read the title of one study you come to some extreme conclusions. Wake up kid.

[Anonymous No.11310648]

>>11309048
never give or allow things just because they are cute, for example lying, stealing, and manipulating in that clumsy semi-innocent way kids do stuff in.
tell them they are pretty but never from any other perspective than parental love, dont put objective value on it.
explain and show the importance of hard work, honesty and curiosity.
honestly answer every and all annoying questions when they enter that phase where they just ask why about everything. go as in depth as they can handle without overwhelming them.
do not put pressure on appearing smart through grades or books read or chess skill or whatever other superficial smart skill. thats how you get pretentious pricks.

[Anonymous No.11310663]

>>11310638
admitting that you're attractive isn't the same as opening a post on the subject of vanity with the statement: "I'm beautiful."

I'd hazard a guess that you also think you look like a stunning work of art.

[Anonymous No.11310668]

>>11310643
cool. good talk bruh. maybe try removing your head from the interior of your own arse before our next conversation, though.

[Anonymous No.11310704]

Wbo the fuck are these people who aren't antinatalists in 2018?

Get off my board

[Anonymous No.11310719]

>>11310622
beauty>intelligence
To be beautiful is to be truly God's creation. The rest, we are inherently mediocre. That's why we read.

[Anonymous No.11310741]

>>11310719

Beauty is a function of youth, humans age like shit.

[Anonymous No.11310745]

>>11310741
You also go senile and forget everything you ever read.

[Anonymous No.11310747]

>>11310719
So, where's the gif from? I really don't care about this discussion.

[Anonymous No.11310752]

>>11309048
>my child is beautiful
>unlike all the other parents who think their children are beautiful, i'm going to raise mine to be unlike what i think happens to beautiful people
>because my child is going to not just be beautiful, but SPECIALLY beautiful
you should know narcissism travels through parenting. maybe your narcissism will sabotage theirs and they'll just wind up borderline or avoidant.

[Anonymous No.11310756]

>>11310719
omg where is this from`?

[Anonymous No.11310764]

>>11310719

I came to this topic, and then I came to this topic

[Anonymous No.11310767]

blind them from birth and raise them innawoods

[Anonymous No.11310769]

>tfw no pretty gf

[Anonymous No.11310790]

>>11310756
>>11310764
>>11310747
>>11310719
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZP6uJtgM34

Go to 2:13

[Anonymous No.11310795]

>>11310790
Thanks, my man.

[Anonymous No.11310797]

>>11309048
Child grooming.

[Anonymous No.11310799]

>>11310769
lgf*

[Anonymous No.11310807]

>>11309048
Most people who are attractive became that way after puberty, so they werent raised attractive.~

""""""Attractive kids""""" are a lot rarer. But this >>11309066 is great advice.
You need to give them, or encourage them to develop their own personality.

[Anonymous No.11310842]

>>11310489
THIS! BWA-HA-HA!!!!! Beat me to it , Anon. Exactly this. This thread is total reddit-core.

[Anonymous No.11310903]

>>11310842
>this entire post

[Anonymous No.11310940]

>>11310790

she's belgian?

probably bombed by muslims

[Anonymous No.11310970]

>>11310940
No she's portugese

[Anonymous No.11310987]

>>11309184
I'm in a situation like that minus the beauty and noose. It's one of the most humbling experiences out there I think.

[Anonymous No.11311033]

Its not physically possible. Supply and demand is skewed in their favor. They will get free shit, date anybody they want, and have better job positions.

The only /lit/ way to go about it is to have an ugly ass child so they aren't a bitch infected with normie.

[Anonymous No.11311231]

>>11310987
I’m confused now. Are you the suicidal girl in this situation or the observer? Or are you just really depressed? Did you attempt suicide?