library stories

[Anonymous No.11228447]

>walk into library
>walk up to desk
>4/10 basedboy beta male working the desk
>asks me what he can do for me
>"yeah, i'm looking for sum... Thomas Pynchon"
>he starts sweating balls
>"r-right this way"
>leads me to the back of the library
>leads me to a bookshelf and reaches for a copy of bleeding edge
>the bookshelf turns 360 degrees revealing the secret library brothel
>"thanks man"
>"y-you too" he sez, wearily looking in at all the qt 3.14 floozies residing within
>i walk into the brothel
>8/10 qt walks up to me
>"hey whats your favorite james joyce book" she says
>"heh.. have you heard of.. Finnegan's Wake?"
>the sugargirl got sticky
>sucks my ding dong
>blow my lode
>thanks tommy p

[Anonymous No.11228591]

>walk into library
>hear someone say ‘hello, may I help you?’ but can’t quite place where the sound came from so just ignore it
>girl about 5 years older walks up to me
>need anything?
>I-I’m looking for ‘The Savage Detectives’
>oh sure, let me look up. It’s right here!
>she turned her back on me and tried to pull the book from a shelf but there was a barrier so she had to move it sideways. She spent like 3 minutes trying to pull it from there
>I just keep standing behind her waiting. Start looking at other books, start looking at the floor, my shoes, then when looking up I stop unwillingly for a microsecond in her ass
>I look away. Cashier was staring at me, she noticed I looked at the other girl’s ass
>face turns red. Girl pulls the book finally. She notices my face is red because there was a look of surprise of her eyes.
>I don’t like the cover but realize I wouldn’t use that as an excuse not to buy it because it would sound banal
>anything else she says?
>N-no, I won’t buy it
>walk out of library still embarrased
>never come back again

[Anonymous No.11228664]

I know these are meant to be ironic, fake stories but you made me remember this one:
>ask library to order in book for me which costs about £20
>lose the book
>go to library to explain, they ask for £5.20 repayment
>feel guilty about having effectively stolen £14.80 from library
>receptionist gets called away while she's taking down the details of the book
>hurriedly dig out £17 (I didn't have £20 on me) from wallet and leave it on desk then leave library before she comes back
>forget library has my details because I have a fucking library card
>get a phone call from them later that afternoon asking about the money
>awkwardly lie and pretend I got called away for some other reason
>have to go back to the library to get a partial refund
>never ever go back to the library again

[Anonymous No.11229042]

>>11228591
You go to the library to buy books?

[Anonymous No.11229275]

>be me
>be an autistic, yet strong, attractive chad
>walk into a library (I always pronounce it as libary to piss off betas)
>walk up to the desk, "nice libary"
>the receptionist, a 8/10 milf with huge milkers laughs awkwardly, trying to not be intimidated by huge intellect
>"uh.. heheh, thanks... you want me to show you to the classics section- we have a full bibliography of Joyce-.."
>stare at her so violently her nipples begin to secrete magic sex juice, sometimes referred to as semen
>"yeah, no. Joyce is pointless, for instance, name one thing he ever did for modernist or post modernist literature."
>she begins to talk, I scream as loud as I can "BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS", her tits start foaming with magic sex juice
>"where the fuck are your Stephen Molyneux, Ben Shapiro, Milo, and Lauren Southern books"
>milf begins to take off my pants in order to suck my rock hard American magic sex juice filled cock.
>some beta boy brings me all the books I asked for just as I finish
>I cum all over his face
>I cum all over his face.

>leave the library, milf is dead from watching her son's face be came on, boy is dead from drowning.
>throw away all the books I get and go browse on r/thedonald

[Anonymous No.11229364]

>>11228447
>go to local library to get a library card
>it's quite small and almost empty
>librarian, a qt woman about 10 years older than me, greet me
>tell her why I'm there
>she gets almost unreasonably happy, talking about how almost no one visit anymore and how nice it will be to have me lend books there
>no falcon, virgin detector or cum rags anywhere in sight
Now, even when I buy a book I go and lend a second copy and keep it at my side when I read my bought book, just to make her happy. I wish fucking normies would read more.

[Anonymous No.11229654]

>>11229042
whoops had a slip