Argument: Rap is a superior medium to poetryFor example, this verse from the rapper Canibus is greater than anything Keats has produced. Pyramids on every planetSpacecrafts crash landed and disbanded, left in a sandpitA Christian cross stands outside a craterFaint crescent moonlike shapes glows through the vapour21st century mega quakes shake upsMommy late for work with messed up make-upDaddy lost his job, they might break upHe makes 25 cents a week (He makes what?)The country hungry and tired, Nero is fine tuning his lyreThe empire is consumed by fireParliament closely monitored, school bus size comets hit WashingtonPeople in the church talking about God againTsunami, what you mean God?I mean watch the ocean seesaw up thousands of feet to the sea floorThought process froze, think but do not disclose
so what is this verse about?
For the Phoenix to rise, life must dieAnd that's just how it is sometimesThe narrow path is not always clear cut but don't fear nothingGood karma will amount to somethingRaw talent force multiplier enforcerThe Universe bleeds from every orifice, I absorb itSilver garments smell like garlic, camp-fire concert performersMy Last Supper was a cup of cornmeal porridgeThe horizon is dark orange, the Phoenix rise, close orbitI see armies of 9-foot Wookies in the forestTranscendence, this is artificial dependenceJupiter ascending through beautiful hues and color spectrumsThe imagery is in the essenceI need not to be reminded how weak the flesh isWhen I am hungry, under pressure, distracted and desperateI say sing for your suppers you miserable tone-deaf motherfuckersCoz all you do is fight with each otherYou misogynist maggot, fifth columnist faggotYou make promises but take the dishonorable passagethis is better than keats best material overall aswell, i should add
>>11137911it describes the matricidal multihierarchical network of events as a result of the psycho-social biological chemical and electronic manipulation of human consciousness and the eschatological implications for the third-density plane in an apocryphal apocalyptic fashion.
>>11137902Royce da 59 "king of kings" is my shit. I really don't fuck with canibus at all.
>>11137902This photo never fails to make me laugh.
>>11137941This is literature..
>>11137953issa troll post& insulting keatsdaddy should be autoban
>>11137971no it isn't
>>11137902how bout i come ova and hitcha ova the head with my tennis racquettte?
>>11137902pls stop posting this picture i find it intimidating
How I read the stresses:1. PYRaMIDS on EVery PLAnet2. SPACEcrafts CRASH lanDED and DISbanDED, LEFT in a SANDpit3. A CHRISTian CROSS stands OUTside a CRATer4. Faint CREScent MOONlike SHAPES glows THROUGH the VAPour5. twenTY first CENturRY MEGa QUAKES shake UPS6. MOMmy LATE for WORK with MESSED up MAKE-up7. DADdy LOST his JOB - THEY might BREAK up8. He MAKES twenTY five CENTS a WEEK (He MAKES what?)9. The COUNtry HUNGry and TIRed, NEro IS fine TUNing his LYre10. The EMPire IS conSUMED by FIRE11. PARLiaMENT CLOSEly MONiTORED - school BUS size COMets hit WASHingTON12. PEOPle IN the CHURCH talKING aBOUT GOD aGAIN13. TSUNaMI, what you mean God?14. I mean WATCH the OCean SEEsaw up THOUsands OF feet TO the SEA floor15. THOUGHT proCESS froze - think BUT do NOT diSCLOSE1. DISbanDED should be stressed disBANDed4. THROUGH should be unstressed5+8. There seems to be an odd dialect thing here where twenty is stressed differently than normal.9. Could be better not that bad. It just uses trisyllables and not disyllables.Some of the rhymes are kind of boring and just rhyme the same syllable with the same syllable (see 5,6,7)Overall it is mostly smooth in terms of stresses but just lacks a consistency of form. There are definitely some weak point though but possibly due to dialect issues.Suggestions to improve:1. More form and structure.2. More creative rhyming.All in all its all right but typical of improvised rap music: it needs a second revision.
>>11138244https://youtu.be/8h22TOh-vgA?t=4m29stry listening to it and reconsider the lack of consistency in meter or syllable stress. i feel as if you missed many intricate internal rhyme structures.
>>11138244^2 should actually be:2. SPACEcrafts CRASH lanDED and DISbanDED, left IN a SANDpitAbout rhymes and partial rhymes:1. Repeats a P sound2. Repeats an A and a AND sound.3. Repeats CR sound, inserts a trisyllable with OUTside a CRATer.5. Repeats a Y sound, rhymes quake with shake6. Repeats a M sound7. No rhyme, a small play with rhythm with the caesura.8. Repitition of make and rhyme of twenty with cents9. Trisyllables, COUNTRY/HUNGRY, TIRED/LYRE, repetition of T sound10. pi-er could be considered two syllables11. PARLiaMENT CLOSEly is a goof12. aBOUT GOD aGAIN is a goofThe poem is mostly uncreative with rhythm and doesn't really use trisyllables to good effect. And some of these seem like blatant goofs. Also many of the lines are too uneven without good reason. Really the poem could also better play with rhythm as well. A short caesura in the middle of the verse isn't really that great.
>>11137902I dont view it as superior rather an adaptation for modern society. Poetry wasnt always relegated to the elite scholars of the time. It was for the entertainment of the masses as well. Just because an alternative method of presentation has been developed doesn't make it better juat more relatable to current culture.
>>11138269nigger the fuck you get disyllables out of "HUNGry and TIRed"?
I think Im gonna stop coming to /lit/
>Muh dick muh dick muhfucka. Fuck whiteyDamn how can Keats even compete?