/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.11124746]

>tfw failed the test to get my library card again

[Anonymous No.11124759]

>>11124746
>the test to get my library card again
>library card
>the test

you forgot your own name?

[Anonymous No.11124764]

>>11124746

>Need a library card to learn how to read
>Can't learn how to read because I have no books to read

[Anonymous No.11125249]

>>11124746
>again

[Anonymous No.11125253]

>>11124764
Don't worry, dude, just read my book about learning how to read.

[The best scientific mind No.11125263]

>>11124759
>>11125249
>>11125253
HAHAHA, this is clearly bait you frickin retards.

[Anonymous No.11125266]

>>11125253

[Anonymous No.11125270]

>>11125266
W-where did you get my book?

[Anonymous No.11125288]

>>11124746
The same happened to me now i gotta re read books

[Anonymous No.11125312]

>>11124746

You mean they are asking for proof of residency or something and you forgot to bring it?

Or do you have to sit a short exam to prove you are Worthy of Joining The Library?

I wish we had that in England. Would stop all our damn libraries being filled with screaming two-year-olds and assorted Benjy Compsons.

[Anonymous No.11125314]

>tfw exceeded my page quota again
>the library threatens to cancel my card

[Anonymous No.11126244]

>tfw library card test asked me to analyze the use of diction in Caedmon's hymn

[Anonymous No.11126255]

>tfw dont meet the height requirement to go in the kurt vonnegut section

[Anonymous No.11126269]

I went to the library in New York and the guy's very rude. I said, "I'd like a library card," and he said, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York."

So I stabbed him.

[Anonymous No.11126274]

>tfw still haven't been able to find the way out of the knowledge maze to get to the adult section

[Anonymous No.11126288]

>try to loan Vonnegut
>library lady sees this
>now have to renew my library card
>have to practise ancient greek again for the test

fml

[Anonymous No.11126299]

>>11124746
>at the library
>take assorted holy books (bible et.)
>put them in the
>...
>wait for it
>...
>fiction section

[Anonymous No.11126320]

>go to the poetry section
>start stealing smaller tomes

[Anonymous No.11126363]

>>11126299
ho ho ho

[Anonymous No.11126400]

>be me
>go to university in another town
>home over semestre breaks
>try to gain access to the local uni's library as well
>I should technically be entitled to this
>find myself struggling to navigate my way through a kafkaesque bureaucracy
>made worse by the fact that I am a sperg who has trouble dealing with people
>eventually give up on my pursuit
>several years later still don't have access to the local university library

[Anonymous No.11126418]

>>11125266
>go to Goodreads
>look up Oxford Dictionary of English
>6484 people claim to be currently reading it

[Anonymous No.11126432]

>>11124746
i hope this is bait

[Anonymous No.11126483]

>want to check out Mervyn Peake to tryout some good fantasy literature
>see the locally employed Harold Bloom is standing behind me and gives me a sneer
>the Pynchon at the check-out counter keeps telling me I'm having 'eletrical infetterence'

[Anonymous No.11126492]

>>11126483
>the Pynchon

[Anonymous No.11126508]

>>11126492
>local library doesn't have a Pynchon

[Anonymous No.11126538]

>>11126400
>be me
>be in university
>holy shit their library is fucking based
>technically need student card to access/loan but all student cards are temporary while uni updates system
>live in library
>soaking up all the knowledge
>new library card system comes in
>need to swipe card for access
>no new card yet
>lots of people don't have cards yet
>librarian hassles everyone else
>lets me live in library and opens door for me without question
>still no new card
>everyone else has one
>SEVEN FUCKING YEARS PASS
>university probably still working on my student ID card somewhere
>librarian still my bro
I still worry some point in my mid-fifties the uni will work out what the fuck their problem with my card was and finally send me one for what will probably be a defunct swipe system by then. Hell, it might have already changed. The librarian was great though; he'd find you shit you didn't even know you wanted to read.

[Anonymous No.11126541]

>>11125263
it clearly isn't...

[Anonymous No.11126552]

>>11126299
Something cannot come out of nothing

[Anonymous No.11126559]

>my library now has a 7 book check out minimun and you have to upload a photo of your stack to their social media page with your personal details so everyone can judge if you're a pleb or not

[Anonymous No.11126575]

>>11126559
based

[Anonymous No.11126599]

>now have to recite a full page of the book I'm trying to return in order to check out a new one

these librarians are getting too brazen

[Anonymous No.11126634]

>>11126400

kill two birds with one stone

woo a librarian

[Anonymous No.11126709]

>intra-library relations become strained
>visitors from nearby city get ejected from my towns library
>get ejected among others from my town from their nice large library in retaliation

[Anonymous No.11126735]

>>11126709
>local library elected a populist leader who promised to stick it to the other libraries
>said our inter-library loans were the worst in all of history
>enacts a 2-for-1 minimum on all loans
>other libraries expelled our members in retaliation
>they're discussing against us sanctions now

[Anonymous No.11126743]

>>11126709
>local library elected a populist leader who promised to stick it to the other libraries
>said our inter-library loans were the worst in all of history
>enacts a 2-for-1 minimum on all loans
>other libraries expelled our members in retaliation
>they're discussing sanctions against us now

[Anonymous No.11126746]

>>11126508
you got meme'd into pychon?

[Anonymous No.11126789]

>walking home from library
>stopped by library cop, tells me I'm under arrest
>cuffs me and takes my bag
>says I'm carrying books scheduled above my license class
>protest, say I'm a class B and only have class C or below texts checked out
>he pulls out a copy of the Phenomenology of Spirit and puts it in my bag
>"is that so?" he says, smirking
>says it can all go away if I just pay the "fine"

[Anonymous No.11126864]

>go to librabry
>want to read bok
>'helo can i have bok?'
>the lady says 'no bok for you sir'
stupid librabres always trying to stop me from doing read

[Anonymous No.11126938]

>Rent book out from library
>Take good care of it, but it starts smoking after a while
>Breaks down in the middle of a paragraph
>Bring it back to the library
>"uh you can't return this, its broken"
>Have to pay in full for damages
>don't even get to keep the old book.

[Anonymous No.11126956]

>>11126599
The worst part of this is they now pick the page at random. Before you used to be able to trick them by memorizing just one of the pages

[Anonymous No.11126966]

>>11126956
We kind of asked for it when everyone who took out the Latin Vulgate picked the neck verse.

[Anonymous No.11126985]

>meme trilogy is kept behind bullet proof glass
>had to give a background check and wait a week before being able to sign one out

[Anonymous No.11126990]

What test?

[Anonymous No.11127005]

>Mandatory starting with the Greeks in effect.
>Not given your license to read 19th or 20th century literature until you have read all of the canon up until that point

[Anonymous No.11127022]

>library instituted a No Singles Policy

[Anonymous No.11127035]

>>11127022
>gets doubles
c-can you take out a book for me?

[Anonymous No.11127047]

>>11127035
>inciting illicit book lending
That will be another mark on your license.

[Anonymous No.11127048]

>tfw once read a kid's book where the MC befriends loli because she has library allowance and he's not on the electoral roll because he's an unreliable narrator
there's also a lot of jokes and references to test cricket (including the MC being called MCC)
i didn't ask for this feel, /lit/, why do you do this?

[Anonymous No.11127050]

>>11127035
Sorry they moved the get threshold to at least trips at my library

[Anonymous No.11127067]

>>11127047
It's licence for the physical writ. License is for the verb form. James Bond is licensed to kill, but has a licence to kill.
>>11127050
It was getting overcrowded; I don't blame them.

[Anonymous No.11127076]

> open book about Vietnam war
> library speakers start playing it aint me again

[Anonymous No.11127086]

>>11127067
Thanks for educating my English-as-second-language ass :3

[Anonymous No.11127093]

>>11126299
>his library has a fiction section
pleb

[Anonymous No.11127096]

>>11124759
Oi! Book loicense's a serious thing here on the isle

[Anonymous No.11127099]

>>11124759
No, he didn't pass penis inspection.

[Anonymous No.11127101]

>>11127086
Worth noting that Ameriblubbers only use license

[Anonymous No.11127120]

>>11127086
No problem. I'm using UK English, and American English does use license for both. The same thing happens with practice/practise in UK English and US English: UK English uses practise as the verb, while US English uses practice for the verb and noun.

Weirdly, "advise", the verb, and, "advice", the noun exist in US English, so I don't know what the fuck they're doing.

[Anonymous No.11127160]

>take my falcon to the library to check out Infinite Jest (he wants to reread it)
>barely pass the pleb inspection and only pass the No Singles policy because of my falcon
>guy right in front of my gets pulled for a random girlfriend screening, breathe sigh of relief because I wouldn't have made it for sure
>walk through security, have to take off my belt and my shoes and my falcon gets stopped for a random screening
>finally make it to the fiction section after having to wait ten minutes for the monorail from the non-fiction section
>have to stop at the concession stand because my falcon is hungry
>order some popcorn for me and some crab legs for my falcon
>go up to cute librarian at the desk and ask "Hi ma'am, can you tell me where you keep your Wallace?"
>she turns to me and looks annoyed
>"David Foster?"
>"Yes ma'am"
>she blows a bubble with her gum and says "you'll have to pass the canon exam"
>go into back room
>have to sit for a 4 hour exam on the history western literature
>can barely recite pages from Finnegans Wake from memory
>falcon almost fails but is saved by The Greeks section (he studied in advance)
>librarian lady comes back and leads me to a large vault door
>have to do retina scans, fingerprints, and penis inspections before it's unlocked
>almost get a boner when she's fondling my penis to check for lumps
>finally get to see the tome I've been looking for
>go to check it out when the librarian says "wait, you've passed your virginity screening, right"
>start sweating, my falcon is nervously munching on his crab legs at this point
>"y-yes"
>she knows I'm lying
>they kick me out of the building and put me on 1 year surveillance to make sure I don't even think about going back to the library
>mfw

[Anonymous No.11127179]

>>11127160
>having a falcon without reading j.a. baker's peregrine
calling SWAT rn

[Anonymous No.11127182]

>Libraries owl keeps leaving its fucking pellets everywhere

[Anonymous No.11127203]

>>11127182
Serves you right for going to Hogwarts.

[Anonymous No.11127213]

>>11127160
We don't need to steal from /tv/

[Anonymous No.11127257]

>be me, innalibrary
>browsing the stacks
>recently passed knowledge exam so I'm able to browse the classics section
>if you don't have the proper credentials you can only browse YA and graphic novels
>feels_good_man.jpg
>one requirement to pass is being six feet or taller
>manlet so I wore shoes with thick soles
>managed to sneak them through the decon shower
>no one has seemed to notice, even when I was "randomly selected" for penis inspection
>except for the designated shooter
>he's been following me around, pretending to read, but I know he's illiterate
>stick to the classic section, I'm safe here he's not allowed unless he spots a violation
>he's been staring at my shoes for a while
>nervous_sweating.gif
>he looks at the top of my head, then back to my shoes
>he knows
>we lock eyes and he grins
>he shoulders his rifle
>BANG BANG BANG
>the retard missed me and he forgot his silencer
>everyone in the library is now deaf, blood is trickling out of the shooters ears, he's disoriented
>gotta make a break for it
>but before I can move, the librarian appears behind the shooter
>she kicks out his knees and he falls to the ground, kneeling, still reeling
>she draws a pistol equiped with an impressive suppresor, presses it to the back of the shooters head
>the shooter drops with a subsonic crack
>she sighs, and looks up
>our eyes meet
>she presses a finger to her lips
>"Shhhhhh..."
>she winks and walks away
MFW

[Anonymous No.11127259]

>>11126299
Neckbeards unironically do this.

My neighbour is one of them.

[Anonymous No.11127264]

>Go to library to go read the Greeks that I was told to start with
>Find the Greek section easy enough
>None of the books are in English, just forms of ancient Greek
>Turns out the same for every foreign book in the entire library
>ask the library if they have any English translations
>Librarian immediately calls for security and I am escorted out
>My photo gets put on the "admittance forbidden board"

[Anonymous No.11127271]

>>11127022
>library instituted a No Beer Policy

[Anonymous No.11127276]

>>11127264
chuckled/10 bretty gud anon

[Anonymous No.11127277]

>>11127257
>you can only browse YA and graphic novels
america please leave we were having fun thread

[Anonymous No.11127284]

>>11127257
lol

[Anonymous No.11127298]

>>11127277
Hey at least my library actually has a classics section. I've seen some without. Do you know what its like to have to choose between reading Home and Gardening or Harry Potter? Not a good place to be.
Besides, they're pretty good about it. The books are kept in different rooms and you have to pass through a decon shower before entering the classics so as not cross-pollinate or harm the books.
At least it keeps the plebs out, since the standards on the Literary Competency Exam are so high.

[Anonymous No.11127304]

>>11127298
i hear a lot of them just have DVDs over there.

[Anonymous No.11127305]

>after hearing the library has games, i arrive at the front desk disguised as a non-gamer
er.. im here for some.. book's

[Anonymous No.11127313]

>have a library card as a kid
>use town library a lot because it is within walking distance
>read old comics and stuff
>one day parents get a letter in the mail
>my card is restricted because I have an overdue book and need to pay the late fee
>I can't find find it and don't even remember taking it out
>it's been twenty years since I last stepped into that library
fuck you ferdinand
ill fucking end you

[Anonymous No.11127330]

>Library bouncer turned me away at the door after a 30 minute wait because I couldn't explain how God fit into Hegel's
>Get a glimpse inside when the next person flawlessly explains Nietzsche's true vision of society and see Zizek and Nick Land snorting coke off an original copy of Ulysses while discussing Deleuze applied to the Lacanian real.
>Bouncher catches me trying to peak in shoos me off

[Anonymous No.11127332]

>>11126299
What the-

[Anonymous No.11127347]

>>11127304
Yeah, its pretty bad honestly. Reminds me of my first time in a library. I had read and re-read all my books at home, so I went to my local library at the time.
Walked in and there were just rows and rows of DVDs. So I headed straight for the desk. Asked the librarian at the counter where I could find the book section and the place went dead quiet. Then everyone just started laughing and laughing. Some Chad yelled "What a fucking loser, who reads?"
They kicked me out and banned me for life.
I was only five years old.

[Anonymous No.11127372]

>>11125263
Woah, double ironic

[Anonymous No.11127469]

>Hey anon! Here to check out a book?

[Anonymous No.11127502]

>>11125263

[Anonymous No.11127516]

>>11127469
n-no only watching

[Anonymous No.11127566]

>>11127516
>What does that mean anon?

[Anonymous No.11127586]

>>11124746
>sign up for local library card online
>log in next day and says "account invalid - please talk to staff at main desk in library"
>tfw will now never get library card and take out books on loan because it would require conversation with another human being

[Anonymous No.11127606]

>>11126299
Am I the only one who unironically actually did this as a kid? Me and my atheist friends thought it was a right laugh at the time.

This was 12 years ago btw.

[Anonymous No.11127641]

>>11127606
Literally everyone has done it

[Anonymous No.11127673]

>>11127641
I haven't.

[Anonymous No.11127681]

>>11127606
>>11127641
>these are literally the people recommending you literature
yikes

[Anonymous No.11127686]

>>11127641
>>11127606

[Anonymous No.11127690]

>go up to checkout counter with books
>check books out
>go to leave library
>BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

[Anonymous No.11127696]

>>11126552
retard alert

[Anonymous No.11127700]

>>11126552
Do you think to think a thought?

[Anonymous No.11127709]

>Goes to the pyromancy tome section
>Replaces it with spellcaster scrolls

[Anonymous No.11127710]

>>11127690
>security guard asks to see the books and the receipt from the automated check-out machine
>its all manga from the Teenz-only section

[Anonymous No.11127725]

>>11127076
underrated post

[Anonymous No.11127748]

>>11125263
>Stating the obvious
>Namefag

[Anonymous No.11127761]

>>11126634
FeelsBadMan

[Anonymous No.11127778]

>>11126552
oh no no no sweetie

[Anonymous No.11127794]

>>11127076
God dammit. Grug gets me every fucking time

[Anonymous No.11127832]

>looking for the teachings of don juan at the university library
>computer says it's on the second floor, write down the dewey decimal thing
>main entrance to the second floor stacks is sealed off with plastic, caution tape, and a "fumigation" sign
>but I know this library well
>walk like I'm going to a bathroom, but then take a side hall and get to a side door into the bookshelf room
>it's all dark, there's a weird smell and noise, but I find my book and abscond to the checkout
I felt like such a rebel. There's a sequel, too.
>looking for the fragments of heraclitus
>second floor stacks is still being fumigated
>try and sneak in my normal way but this time the door is locked and blocked off with plastic
>do some recon, find another entrance, but there are people nearby
>return with a friend at 11:50 pm, library closes at midnight
>go back up to the entrance to the forbidden zone
>have him be a sentry so he can warn me in case of staff
>check door, unlocked, go in, grab book, check it out and get out of there
True tale.

[Anonymous No.11127908]

>>11126789
best one desu

[Anonymous No.11128370]

>library installed a brainlet detector

[Anonymous No.11128430]

>>11127257
Underrated

[Anonymous No.11128442]

>>11128430
>Library requires increased rates to $5.00 per book

[Anonymous No.11128516]

We need a Robert equivalent.

[Anonymous No.11128566]

>>11125314
>tfw didn't meet my page quota

[Anonymous No.11128570]

>>11127257
I seen this on /tv/, its a classic

[Anonymous No.11128618]

>TFW you fail penis inspection and are strapped down and forced to read John Greene
I shudder to remember.

[Anonymous No.11128642]

>>11125263
I'm just happy sam harris finally noticed us

[Anonymous No.11128650]

>>11127259
What if this is the sort of crap that I used to do as a child but I never grew the neckbeard and I never bought a fedora?

[Anonymous No.11128653]

>>11128516
this

[Anonymous No.11128657]

>>11128516

[Anonymous No.11128680]

>>11128657
Hmmm... There certainly are enough of him.
Maybe he's Robert's cousin?

[Anonymous No.11128690]

>>11128657

do you really work here?

>yes anon

are you sure?

[Anonymous No.11128693]

>Hi there anon! I see you're checking out Plato's "Republic".
>Are you an intellectual?
>Haha don't worry about it man it's just a joke
*beep*
>That'll be $39.99 and another $99.99 for the crab legs plus tip

[Anonymous No.11128696]

>>11126299
Reminds me of how sometimes I go to Giant and put frozen meat behind cereal boxes so it'd go bad. They didn't expect that I'd still be doing that eight years after they fired me from that summer job as a teenager, did they

[Anonymous No.11128703]

>>11128693
B-but Robert, this is a library. Aren't books free? I have the proper card class, I passed the Literary Competence Exam.
Also, I didn't know you worked here. What about that other guy?
Holy shit anon I kek'd

[Anonymous No.11128707]

>>11128680
What’s his name lads?

[Anonymous No.11128713]

>>11126789
What the fuck kind of podunk library do you have where they are classing Phenomenology of Spirit anything above a D class text?
I'm getting my A class certification in a few weeks hopefully (just got to pass the Attic Greek Iliad recital ritual and finish up the rest of my two thousand page thesis paper on the Minor 18th century Empiricists, and to be on the safe side I'm going to bribe the Library Courtesan to say that I had an appointment with her last April just in case they pull a surprise virginity testing) and that will finally get me access to the Collected Letters of T. S. Eliot, which I'm really looking forward to.

[Anonymous No.11128724]

>>11128707
For some reason Clint comes to mind.
But it should probably be something literary.

[Anonymous No.11128738]

>>11126483
>>the Pynchon at the check-out counter keeps telling me I'm having 'eletrical infetterence'
why did this make me laugh so much, fuck

[Anonymous No.11128757]

>>11128707
Chadwick Mohammad

[Anonymous No.11128810]

>>11127120
I don't know anything about UK English, but in American English "advise" and "advice" are pronounced differently, while the noun and verb license are pronounced the same, as is the case for practice.

[Anonymous No.11128817]

>>11125263
Yes asshole.. we know....

[Anonymous No.11129687]

>>11126269
Underrated

[Anonymous No.11129699]

>>11128696
genuine lel

[Anonymous No.11129712]

>>11124746
8.8 Best New Meme

[Anonymous No.11129716]

>>11128370
>havent been to the library ever since
God damn, guess I'm forced to take my thoughts on Hegel and Lacan and post them online instead.

[Anonymous No.11129738]

>>11126400
>tfw I'm not even a memeing frogposter and I've also had to go through a complicated procedure in order to gain access to my uni library

[Anonymous No.11129741]

>>11126299

haha, great post friendo! :^)

[Anonymous No.11129743]

>>11128757
Chadwick Bill

[Anonymous No.11129746]

>>11127093
lol

[Anonymous No.11129748]

>>11126299
I don't think you understood the meaning behind this frog.
Now back to plebbit with you.

[Anonymous No.11129753]

>scanning the erotica sexion
>book suddenly pullsout from the opposite aisle
>a cock is pushed through the void
>oWo whas this?
>place my mouth around the glans
>begin tounging the frenum
>librarian pushes her cart by
>walks to the wall and starts flicking the lights on and off in celebration
>from the other side of the shelf hear someone whisper "you dis nigga finna cummed on"
>mumble incoherently "he cute"
>mfw its a homeless guy again

[Anonymous No.11129791]

>>11127832
How can I join on your adventures?

[Anonymous No.11129804]

>in my local library
>see some 17 year old pseud checking out "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" despite never reading any other philosophy beforehand
>yell "AYO DIS NIGGA FINNA BOUTTA GET DABBED ON"
>everyone in the library starts laughing
>black kid using a free computer says "you alright /lit/ boy"
>hear "he cute" from one of the qt shy librarian girls

[Anonymous No.11129811]

>>11127710
>get turned into a teen girl until i finish all the books

[Anonymous No.11129816]

>>11128707
Roderick

[Anonymous No.11129934]

>>11127076
kek

[Anonymous No.11130146]

HAVING FUN

ISNT HARD

[Anonymous No.11130166]

>>11124746
>tfw you passed the writing test but failed the driving test and have to retake reader's ed

[Anonymous No.11130345]

>>11129804
>hear "quiet, this is library" from one of the asian students

[Anonymous No.11130503]

How about you pieces of shit actually read books instead of wasting your time in garbage r/4chan tier threads

[Anonymous No.11130525]

>>11128810
>practicing
>practicable
same c sound, no doubt. just like the c sound in sing

[Anonymous No.11130572]

>>11127641
hahaha your mom gay

[Anonymous No.11130621]

>>11130503
No u do that

[Anonymous No.11130650]

On a more serious note, I’m going to be moving from Austin, Texas to New York City soon. What is an acceptable tipping rate for librarians in New York City? If there just checking out my books I only give a quarter (if it’s a cutey gril maybe 50 cent). If they look something up for me I might give a dollar. If they actually go into some dungeon to find some obscure tome and hand deliver it to me, I will give them a fiver.
Is this acceptable in the Big Apple or will I look like a provincial bumpkin if I tip like this?

[Anonymous No.11130685]

Posting in a historic thread
Include me on the screencap

[Anonymous No.11130750]

>>11129804
It's like I never left /tv/

[Anonymous No.11131067]

>>11130503
>4chan is srs bsns

[Anonymous No.11131385]

>library has huge greek section
>want to start with the greeks
>tfw can't get past the library minotaur that guards the entrance at the exit of the labyrinth

[Anonymous No.11131687]

>>11126299
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT

[Anonymous No.11131729]

>tfw failed my drug test to activate my library card

[Anonymous No.11131750]

>library only grants cards if you can prove you're not a virgin by failing an STD panel

[Anonymous No.11131784]

>can't reach the top shelf
>no coins for the man lift
>the library giant hasn't talked to me since the "incident"

[Anonymous No.11131792]

>>11129753
A masterpiece

[Anonymous No.11131871]

>>11131385
Funfact: there is also a sphinx and harpies you have to pass. The final guard is Socrates and you have to correctly define justice for him

[Anonymous No.11131964]

>>11131784
What did you do anon?
Did you misquote Aristotle, because that's why he won't talk to me

[Anonymous No.11132070]

>>11131964
I tried to borrow some fantasy books for my sister.

[Anonymous No.11132269]

>>11130146
IF YOU'RE A 4CHAN POSTING TARD!
I was honestly wondering how long it would take for someone to post this.

[Anonymous No.11132306]

>finally get library card
>use it to get softcore VHS porn

[Anonymous No.11132813]

>>11127160
>eating in a library

[Anonymous No.11132824]

>>11130503
These threads are infinitely better than the LITERAL pseudointellectual "philosophy" threads that shit up the board.

[Anonymous No.11132825]

>>11132813
Only in America

[Anonymous No.11132854]

>>11128707
Adelmo
Afonso
Angelo

[Anonymous No.11132968]

>>11132825
>tfw university library literally has a café
This isn't a serious thread but I wish I was joking

[Anonymous No.11132997]

>>11131385

[Anonymous No.11133092]

>>11127681
>taking recommendations
way to out yourself as a brainlet

[Anonymous No.11133147]

>years of conditioning my mind has lead to the inability to ejaculate outside of a library

[Anonymous No.11133965]

>>11131871
>you have to correctly define justice
JUST

[Anonymous No.11134651]

>>11133965
ICE

[Anonymous No.11134800]

>become research assistant to the big guy in the philosophy department at my uni
>makes me check out a bunch of books from our library and bring them to his office
>asks me what I thought of them
>I didn't read them, I just thought he wanted me to bring them to him
>he becomes visibly disappointed
>he asks me to leave and come back after reading them
did I blow it guys?

[Anonymous No.11135046]

>>11124746
>Go to renew my book licence
>have to do the library test
>get lost in the book labyrinth
>library clerk forces me to revoke my book rights
Feels bad, lads.

[Anonymous No.11135491]

>>11124746
>tfw failed the library test because i got overexcited it was going well and decided to make a cucumber/kappa/k pun in the praxilleoin section
>librarian adds pristine handwritten cursive to failure notice
>>0/11 Pseudo Aristophanes

[Anonymous No.11135629]

>>11127048
Name it?

[Anonymous No.11136276]

>>11126634
most chicks at the library (the ones i know) act like they have sand in their vaginas, so off-putting

[Anonymous No.11136327]

>>11126483
Best post I've read in a long while.

[Anonymous No.11136377]

>>11134800
RIP. Who is he?

[Anonymous No.11136688]

>>11125263

[Anonymous No.11137553]

>>11125263
HAHA this is obviously bait as well u dumb dumbs

[Anonymous No.11137564]

>>11126552
im no tipper but
>implying causality is invariant

[Anonymous No.11137592]

>>11135629
a pack of lies.

[Anonymous No.11137603]

>>11133092
>not asking people to make recommendations specifically so you can mock their bad taste

[Anonymous No.11138018]

>>11130503
>read

[Anonymous No.11138033]

>>11127696
>Here I have the science to pro..

Nice work fuckstain.

[Anonymous No.11138147]

>forgot to tip librarian

Can I go back bros?

[Anonymous No.11138177]

>buy a bundle of books on ethics and meta-ethics
>read After Virtue first
>tfw every time I look at the other books I just die inside
It feels like I bought an interesting book series only to spoil myself with an ending so depressing I can't be bothered to read the rest.

[Anonymous No.11138367]

>>11138147
Did you at least remember to feed the falcon?

[Anonymous No.11138398]

>>11138367
>falcon
Owl you mean.