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/lit/ - Literature

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1094521 No.1094521 [Reply] [Original]

Can you guys critique my latest short story? I'm trying to get it published.

>> No.1094524
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>> No.1094527

Are you trying to get it published on toilet paper?

>> No.1094529

10/10

That was the most beautiful work of art I've ever read. The part where Lorenzo chased the assassin into the castle brought tears to my eyes.

>> No.1094531

I really understood how the poisoned fish relates to modern society.

>> No.1094532

dude you spelled your last name wrong. get it together.

>> No.1094537

>>1094532

>> No.1094538

This is the greatest thing to be seen on /lit/ since The Penis Was.

>> No.1094540
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1094540

>> No.1094544
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1094544

My, What an excellent story! I smell Pulitzer prize material here!

>> No.1094550

Please tell me there's a sequel in the works!

>> No.1094557
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1094557

>> No.1094561
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>> No.1094563

LORENZO 2 - A TALE OF MORE FISH!

There once was a fisherman named Lorenzo. He held a royal reward for saving the king's life, and was captain of the ship Seashore. He once fought a giant crab. This is his story.

Having saved the king's life, Lorenzo went back to fishing with the ship Seashore and his crew of 9 fishermen. They sailed to sea to catch the fish.

One day, Lorenzo noticed a commotion along the shore off of the kingdom of Kingdomia. Lorenzo asked his crew what this could be, but none of them knew.

Lorenzo dove into the water and swiftly swam over to investigate what was going on. It turned out to be an enormous crab, enraged by eating some poisoned fish it had stumbled across for some reason.

Lorenzo knew the angry crab could be a threat to the king if it got onto dry land and headed for the castle. He drew his sword and fought the crab.

It was an epic fight. Lorenzo won. Lorenzo took the crab meat aboard the ship, making sure to discard the evil crab brain and other sundries of a crab-related nature who aren't good for you.

He went back to the king, who was vastly entertained by the tale of the humongous crab fiend and Lorenzo's epic fight with it. More rewards were had by Lorenzo.

>> No.1094570

>>1094563
I really like how the end keeps us hanging there. We will forever be forced to wonder what the rewards were.

>> No.1094579

>>1094570

Lorenzo will be back in LORENZO 3 - THEY SAVED CRABLER'S BRAIN!

>> No.1094596

This story is just so inspirational and thought provoking. I'm going to go hold the History Channel's headquarters with a list of demands.

>> No.1094629

Rivals Shakespeare
I liked the part where you describe how lorenzo threw the fish away, if im correct its a metaphore for hyperconsumerism in modern society

>> No.1094651

>>1094538
I never saw that. Anyone have it saved?

>> No.1094664

>>1094651
it was in the last issue or two of the zwg magazine.

>> No.1094690

but what did they feast on?

>> No.1094693

>>1094690

Ah, you haven't heard the tale of Hector the shepherd yet!

>> No.1094698

>>1094693
Fucking spinoff books. Will most likely be shit.

>> No.1094716

>>1094698


Yeah, I'm sure my fanfic about Bonnie the buxom baker will be much better.

She gets it on with the crab!

>> No.1095794
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1095794

>>1094521

>> No.1095801

You misspelled your last name.

>> No.1095846

This... is beautiful.

>> No.1095853

>>1094544
about the same quality as most pulitzer winners imo

>> No.1095854

Das ist revolutionär!

>> No.1095865
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1095865

how about my story?

>> No.1095882
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1095882

>>1095865

>> No.1095891

someone needs to post the lawnmower poem or the poem about getting fucked by a dog

>> No.1095918

this is going to be the next giant leap for mankind.

>> No.1095944
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>> No.1095990

>>1095944

I came buckets. Where's that from?