Write what's on your mind /lit/!

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Anonymous Sun Mar 11 23:48:56 2018 No.10830041 [Reply] [Original]

Write what's on your mind /lit/!

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 11 23:57:51 2018 No.10830083 WHY CAN'T I EVEN WRITE GOOD FAPFIC?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 01:22:34 2018 No.10830328 >>10830041 I don't know what I want to do with myself. I'm probably a brainlet.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 01:24:57 2018 No.10830335 >>10830083 There's no such thing. Stop wasting your life.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 01:26:45 2018 No.10830342 >>10830335 By good I mean "fapworthy." I either write porn but get bored of it and stop, or I write pretentious erotica that succeeds at being pretentious but fails to be erotic.

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 01:34:06 2018 No.10830365
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I'm tired. Lonely. Uninspired. Afraid? Maybe. If I don't finish this paper, I'll fail this class. I won't receive my diploma, and I'll either have to make up the credits I'm lacking, or get a GED. I could join the military. Or kill myself. I'm poor. I wish I didn't want a lover. I wish I didn't want children. A family. Prestige. Success. It could be so much easier then.

>>10830328
I don't want to do anything. I want to go to sleep, and never wake up.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 01:34:09 2018 No.10830366 File: 201 KB, 2241x3004, imfugginit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10830041 TRIPLE SIX, FIVE FORKED TONGUE

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 01:35:28 2018 No.10830369 >>10830365 delet that gif friend

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 01:40:40 2018 No.10830381 File: 473 KB, 500x276, 3068b195-fa1b-4fb4-bac3-cd92719e87b4.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10830369

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 02:23:27 2018 No.10830499 >>10830381 This hurts.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 02:30:53 2018 No.10830519 I hate Germans so much

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 02:38:23 2018 No.10830542 Giving these last few years of my life to philosophy was a mistake, my iq is too low to understand even plato. It took me like 6 hours to untangle euthyphro. Is this normal?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 02:47:53 2018 No.10830553 my job is a real pain but i get to listen to podcasts while i work, so that's something. librivox is one of mankind's finest creations.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 02:50:00 2018 No.10830558 File: 84 KB, 1280x720, morgianaDELET.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10830381 been there, done that. being high on the ferris wheel with the woman i love is one of the best things ive ever experienced in a visceral, sensorial kind of way

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 03:04:10 2018 No.10830588 [DELETED]

>>10830365
>I want to go to sleep, and never wake up.

i was in an accident early and hit my head pretty hard, now there is a non-zero chance when i go to bed i won't wake up, what audiobook should i go out to? i'm thinking story of civilization by will durant

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 03:18:06 2018 No.10830614
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>>10830558
>tfw no carnival loving gf

>>10830588
Something descriptive that appeals to the senses, like an author urging you to "imagine that you are on a beach, with the warm sand between your toes". Preferably with a matching audio.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 03:44:56 2018 No.10830645 i have a headache and i'm very tired

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 03:47:27 2018 No.10830648 File: 34 KB, 607x341, tumblr_static_tumblr_static__640.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I have to masturbate so fucking badly.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 03:50:56 2018 No.10830655 >>10830519 Why is that mein Freund?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 03:53:34 2018 No.10830659 >>10830655 every time something bad happens in europe the germans are usually responsible

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 04:06:48 2018 No.10830682 >>10830659 Honestly every single bad thing to happen in the world after 1871 is the fault of the Germans

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 04:09:00 2018 No.10830685 >>10830682 after 1871? try 300 when those fags sacked rome, or 1500 when those fags started a bullshit heresy that lead to a century of warfare

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 04:10:18 2018 No.10830687 >>10830659 >>10830682 >>10830685 don't forget they also have a retarded culture and a shitty language

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 04:14:25 2018 No.10830698

I ducked myself out of financial aid for college by letting depression fail me out and by letting that become the excuse I convinced myself to use, like right now. Nowhere will hire me and I'm going to be homeless again before I can somehow bring myself together. I don't even know what I wanna do if I did.

Unrelated, anyone else find self-awareness to be painful? To be so painfully omniscient toward your flaws and psyche and everything and yet be unable to change anything as aware as you are? Feels bad.jpg

Love is the second attempt at nihilism's cure after religion fails. Once both do, you're doomed. I'm doomed.

I finally started Nietzsche. Something about his writing is charged with an emotional connection to me that I haven't felt since Kafka. Maybe that's why he's got his cock in /lit/. It's not a bad feeling then, to be fucked by Friederich.

t. my diary desu

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 04:19:19 2018 No.10830703 [SPOILER]

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Trying to write Multiple first person P.O.V for my novel, And I'm having trouble setting up their own voices.

A kind anon told me to give them unique quirks. Not the manic pixie girl quirks, more like, character A has crippling self-esteem issues and that's why he sometimes acts aggressively over innocuous comments. Character B had a neglectful childhood and that's why they're clingy.

I appreciate his advice, but I also want to know if its feasible for narration?

Like for example, Character A Narration is a mishmash of modern words and Archaic Words in his Narration due to him trying to overcompensate for his family poorer background compare to his peers/friends?

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 04:21:26 2018 No.10830709

The soul is being sucked right out of man by electric machines and computational efficiency, man is becoming no longer a social creature but a social unit, an economic unit. His very social nature is becoming a mere economic property to be calculated and exploited. Ted Kaczinski was right. If I were able to expunge a thing from the world, it would be the principle which allows man to harness electricity for work without toil. From the outside, people seem indeed like cattle growing fat, herded by the invisible shepherd who wields economic and mechanical efficiency as a whip. There is no use for the sailor as there is no longer a purpose for his sails

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 07:57:08 2018 No.10831074 >The sky, in an ant's mind, is also an ant

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 07:58:35 2018 No.10831079 >>10830709 Go to the pub loser.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 07:59:23 2018 No.10831081 >>10830698 I identify with you, you're as morbid, narcisstic and self-defeating as me

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 08:01:27 2018 No.10831083
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I wrote this in the other thread, but i want to say it again

>tfw hate liberalism but have practically lost faith in socialism after seeing so many socialist movements and platforms filled with retards
>tfw seeing opportunists and idpol everywhere and no engagement or emancipation of the working class.
>tfw i get called a classist or brocialist for saying so
>tfw most contemporary influential communist thinkers are all bourgeoise romantics who are nostalgic about failed capitalist states of the past
>tfw starting to think ideology is inevitable and genuinely becoming more sympathetic towards fascism because of idealist Hegelian dialectics, but still feel like it's too 'evil' for lack of a better word, but also starting to feel like that's just a conditioned reflex

The last two years have been such a clusterfuck and i don't know anymore

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 08:30:52 2018 No.10831175

>>10831083
Honestly stop paying attention to politics and develop other interests, it's boring/rage inducing to talk about with most people and you wont change anything by philosophising with your friends. There really arent any easy answer you'll just get tangled up in ideologies that dont really work in practise.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 08:33:43 2018 No.10831182 >Time has a soft, weak hand, and eternity has a mouth that never stops yawning >God is a friend of the poor in dream, and the rich in reality >People are hens whose teachers are foxes

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 08:45:02 2018 No.10831216 >>10830698 >Unrelated, anyone else find self-awareness to be painful? Read about sola fide and bring it to mind the next time you feel like shit.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 08:47:14 2018 No.10831221 >>10831083 embrace aristocracy pleb

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 08:47:49 2018 No.10831225
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Is there beauty in violence?
I think of the this a lot. It almost seems like there’s a savage appeal we humans have towards it, regardless of context. Just like any other person I don’t like the prospect of humanity being built for self destruction but what if violence was more akin to a purging of bacteria, a way to get rid of horrible ideologies and generally human scum? I like to think there is a pleasurable experience to any violent act with enough explaining

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 09:12:06 2018 No.10831288 I have become more certain that the prehistory that resides in people's stomachs is the one that wrote and still writes the history of their heads.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 10:21:31 2018 No.10831483 >>10831225 Only fascists like the aesthetics of violence

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 10:23:06 2018 No.10831487 File: 229 KB, 1200x900, B2506EAD-D0C3-421E-8457-234D8A87EC9F.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10831483 Damn it And here I thought I was left leaning revolutionarie

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 10:23:21 2018 No.10831489 >>10830041 /ic/ here, is the crab mentality prevalent here too?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 10:23:34 2018 No.10831490 >>10831487 That's ok, you can just become a left leaning fascist

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 10:40:56 2018 No.10831543 I've been on my uni reading Naked Lunch during more than two hours because I have class and no friends to talk with while waiting. I wish I could trade my academic proficiency for social skills.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 10:42:18 2018 No.10831547 >>10831483 What about Malatesta and Tailhade?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 10:56:13 2018 No.10831576 >>10831547 Crypto-fascists

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 12:13:13 2018 No.10831774 File: 42 KB, 645x773, 8c1e0c3a8a3ecf90.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I don't know where to meet interesting women.

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 13:00:39 2018 No.10831961

I've been reflecting a lot on elementary school during the past month after not giving the whole experience a single thought for years.

It's interesting, I had no friends whatsoever there. I had a few fellow pupils with whom I socialized, but that just happened because they were there, in the near vicinity. We had nothing in common, no real connection at all, and I didn't particularly enjoy spending time around them. If they disappeared overnight I wouldn't have cared at all. They weren't friends. I didn't even know what a friend is. I still don't. I've just got an idealized fantasy of the concept of friendship, no real experience.

I remember pretending to give a shit about girls and one or two girls in particular, for no real reason other than because I figured that it was expected of me. They meant nothing at all to me, no more than a random patch of pavement I walked across today. Why did I do that? Why did I pretend?

I also, naturally, remember all the abuse and humiliation. Well actually that's not entirely true: I remember some particularly humiliating episodes but in general I remember the feelings more than I remember the concrete events or who did what and when they did it and why. It's all a visceral blur more than anything else. I'm not happy about remembering this shit at all, and I'm not happy about how I feel about it right now either.

I know the right, well-adjusted thing to say/think would be that it was whatever, that it was just kids and that it doesn't matter and that everybody picked on everybody at school and it wasn't all that personal and it takes a while for empathy and self-control to develop in people and it's pathetic to hold onto these feelings and so on and so on, but that just isn't true at all for me.

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 13:01:41 2018 No.10831963

>>10831961
It may have been a bit of a laugh for them, just something impulsive to do to pass the time without even giving it that much thought, kids being kids and all that, but for me it was a fucking apocalypse day in and day out(as if I didn't already have a slightly different flavor of apocalypse waiting for me at home every day). I don't want to exaggerate and say that those particular experiences were why I ended up growing up into the ruin that I am but fuck, they certainly played a very, very large part in why it happened. Realistically, the psychological damage that has been done to me is severe(and has manifested itself in irreversible physical damage over the years to boot, in a variety of ways), and I'm not sure how much of it could be undone if I tried. I'm the poster child for learned helplessness.

They killed something in me before it even got the chance to live.
I know the normal thing to do would be to move on but fuck. I want to rip their eyes out. I want them crippled for life. I want to ruin them ten times as badly as they've ruined me, and then maybe, MAYBE I could think "okay, we're even". And like I said, I don't even really remember that many concrete details or faces about the whole thing at this point. I just remember how it felt, and now I'm living with the consequences of it. It's interesting.

And yet there are anomalies. I remember this one kid in particular, who was frequently and particularly vicious towards me, and try as I might, I cannot muster a single iota of ill will towards him at this point. I don't feel any contempt regarding him at all, it's like nothing between us ever happened.

I really don't know what to make of all this.

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 13:24:08 2018 No.10832027

I moved away for college and then after graduating moved somewhere else for a job. Then I realized I wasn't making enough money to pay for rent/food/debt and quit and moved home. I've been working a shitty job for about a year now, but not paying for rent or food means I've saved up a little bit. I want to move somewhere now, but I don't know where. I've been applying for jobs in several cities but I don't know really what I even want to do anymore. I just feel like I need to move to a city where there are people my age. My home is in a rural area and the only girls/women around me are either single moms or addicted to heroin. It's a beautiful area but it's insanely depressing to be here at my age. And all my friends live about 2 hours away in a super expensive city I don't like very much. The cities I imagine myself moving to are hundreds of miles away where I don't know anyone. The thought of knowing nobody is both intriguing and terrifying. I lived for 5 years away from home and had to make new friends before but now that I'm back here again I feel like I did in high school where the thought of moving away feels like moving away for the first time all over again, with all the unknowns and anxiety and excitement and anticipation and fear and everything. Only now instead of knowing I'll get to have an interesting college experience, for all I know I could just be moving somewhere to work a soul crushingly boring job. I'm worried about accepting the first job I'm offered and then quitting it after a few months and ruining my resume. My resume already looks terrible for leaving my first job after college so soon and I don't want to do that again. I wish I had a girlfriend or someone for moral and emotional support. Or really any kind of emotional support. I love my friends but they are all yuppies
in the city now and doing so much better than me. They have nice apartments and stable longterm relationships and in their mid 20s have jobs that pay more than both of my parents make combined. I don't think they even know what it's like to have anxiety about being broke or being alone. I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining or like I think I'm a victim, but when I talk to them about anything about my life it's like talking to someone from a different planet.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 19:13:54 2018 No.10833428 bump

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 19:18:48 2018 No.10833441 Im in a lot of pain because I dont have an identity Im coming to the realisation that theres no one in the entire world who can understand my problem or can empathize, and I dont see a way out of my pit of hell

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 19:22:02 2018 No.10833460 >>10832027 Stockton?

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 20:19:59 2018 No.10833658
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So I recently got the selective service registration papers and I really don't like it
I don't want to bleed out in some shit hole for a government I very much do not like. And yet I have to do it or else I'll get arrested.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 20:22:05 2018 No.10833662 >>10833658 nigga this isn't the 60's chill out congrats on finally not being underage b& tho

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 20:27:04 2018 No.10833680

>>10833662
Tensions are high my guy
I'm pretty sure we're going to have a bunch of proxy wars with a bunch of backward countries that are on some heart of darkness levels of fucked. Idk maybe it's also my paranoia but I don't like how "do it or else" it seems

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 20:41:47 2018 No.10833742

>>10830041
people are vicious, would-be torturers everyone of them, there's a sadist under the skin and behind the eyes of the kindest people. Everyone is a fucking sociopath, you play sympathetic with them, give them space to be irrational, try to grant them their stupid fucking presuppositions and unjustifiable axioms, they'll just take 10 miles of territory from you if you allow them this much. Laozi says to yield to overcome, but in this stage of human history, where everyone is a vicious, self-narrativizing, narcissistic, god-complex having, over worked, under stimulated, split consciousness you can't do this anymore. yielding to people to allow space for their whole being, letting the evil come in with the good, to save them from being cut off from you completely, this only leads to being poisoned by them. They'll take advantage of the smallest of opportunities to be unkind to you. I haven't had a person go out of their way to do something I actually needed in years. My family, my friends, my lovers all abuse the trust I give them, are unbelievably self-involved, haven't the slightest interest in my internal states or ideas, basically talk to me like i'm a toy to stimulate them. I'll listen to them for hours, give genuine thoughtful responses, help them with their psychological states, drive them places, buy them food, comfort them when they're alone and hurting but it means nothing to them. I'm a tissue, a condom, a burger some fucking product for them to break in a one-time-use, they're surprised when I show consistent empathy because 99.9% of others refuse to do this. I'll humor anyone, fascists, communists, christians, fedoras whoever, and I'm never given the same respect. I try to talk to anime pedophiles about why they are the way they are, and then when I try to convince them there are other ways of being they shit on me, tell me i'm a moral fag and then ruin the discourse. I try to talk to christians and really understand their world view, and then when its time to have an actual volley with them, they try to play the advantage and act like they're already in the know, and i'm just some sick degenerate rebel with no basis for my ideas, even when I try to be lenient and not attack what they believe. Fascists do this too, communists even more so. I've talked with social libertines, social conservatives, capitalists and technocrats and all I get is the same one-sided treatment. I give them attention, try to understand them, try to find a middle ground and all they want is war, they want me to submit to them or to convert to their belief or to leave because the mere act of entertaining divergent belief insults them. I've yet to meet a person with the patience or the consistent desire to talk to be present with them, to hear them, to incorporate them into my world as myself. I was tricked, because I was not a strong person as a child, into being a crypto-altruist.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 20:45:33 2018 No.10833755 File: 57 KB, 720x471, 14025996005_ea3c4449b6_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10833658 Go sing kumbaya with the rest of them in Canada then, barely-legal faggot.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 20:58:50 2018 No.10833800 >>10833755 Oh I'm sorry I don't want to fucking die >>10833742 Yeah we're very self centered in recent years

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 21:01:55 2018 No.10833809

>>10833680
yeah ever since netanyahu met with trump and kushners security clearance got nixed it looks like the syrian war is back on, nikki haley already setting it up in the un as we speak, the deepstate neocons isolated trump by taking away bannon and kushner, and now he's going to start their war

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 21:36:38 2018 No.10833936 >gf is out drinking with her friends, barely talked with me the whole day, acts cold when it does Fuck me.

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 21:41:44 2018 No.10833955

I'm getting tired of being alone all of the time, and really want to find a gf. My intent is not simply sexual, but to find someone that I can really experience life together and talk about our ideas.

I know its a tall order, but I still have faith that someone is out there.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 21:46:13 2018 No.10833976 >>10833460 No I'm on the east coast. The city my friends live in is DC.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 22:01:06 2018 No.10834034 >>10833658 >>10833800 Reminder that the draft is fucking illegal unless war is formally declared, which the united states has not done since the second world war.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 22:02:46 2018 No.10834042 >>10833809 honestly good, and you'd have to be a retard to believe they would start a draft for this

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 22:09:09 2018 No.10834062 >>10833955 But if you're faithless, and fail to get a gf, you won't be disappointed, while if you do, you'll be overjoyed. If you have faith, the best you can be is satisfied with attaining your hope, which may every well not come to pass.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 22:25:14 2018 No.10834131 >>10834062 If he's faithless, his motivation may go down the drain.

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 22:34:10 2018 No.10834168
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>>10834131
In my experience, the best way to "get a gf" is to interact in social groups that include women and make friends with women. As long as you're not an inspissated autistic pseudo-grammarian or plainly hideous eventually an intimate relationship will fructify. Fastening the idea that "I want a girlfriend" in the back of your mind is counter productive if you have trouble in that arena already.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 22:35:20 2018 No.10834171 >>10834168 >as long as you're not plainly hideous welp

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 22:46:10 2018 No.10834213 my friend suspects I'm a virgin and teases me for it. i thought i was at a stage of my life where this couldn't possibly piss me off but alas..

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 22:49:16 2018 No.10834227 >>10833742 I empathize with your situation but I also couldn't help but read this post from the perspective of all the people in my life I've distanced myself from. Shit sucks. I guess we're all guilty of this kind of narcissism you're describing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 22:58:15 2018 No.10834268 Im a poorfag retard and I can't even do the first step to being an actual human being which is to fix my diet

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 23:33:41 2018 No.10834377 >>10834042 oh no, there wont be a draft, trump will give dreamers and other illegal aliens are chance to get citizenship if they volunteer for the syrian war

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 23:36:01 2018 No.10834386 [DELETED]

>>10834034
u realize the whole realize they stopped during the draft is because jewish college kids threw a fit at the idea they might be drafted to fight for the country that saved their refugee parents a generation before, so they can most definitely have a draft without a declaration of war

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 23:40:47 2018 No.10834412

>>10834171
You're probably not that bad, and even if you are, I know some terribly ugly men who have girlfriends. Just don't expect to date someone who looks like Kate Upton if you look like a goblin, it's pretty simple. I usually have far deeper connections with "ugly" women anyway, because ugly women are usually far deeper than physically attractive women who get by on their looks until those start to fade, then pin down some poor stupid bastard and get by on his sweat for the remainder.

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 23:43:59 2018 No.10834426

>>10834412
ugly chicks have so many insecurities, and since everyone treated them like shit for being born ugly during their formative years, they tend to be really mean because they think that's how youre supposed to act since thats what the received...but im kind of an asshole too so when im hanging out with a former ugger and she says something really nasty about somebody i can just shrug and be like "lol she said it not me"

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 12 23:44:06 2018 No.10834428 I need the scariest, depressing, most black-pilled book to read right now. >tfw read "The Fear of Death" and felt almost nothing

Anonymous Mon Mar 12 23:50:56 2018 No.10834459

>>10834426
Yeah, they're insecure as fuck and given to self harm, but there are plenty of "pretty" women who are the same way, and don't have the added bonus of reading books other than hot YA genre fiction garbage.

Of course there can be attractive, intelligent, and erudite women, but they all belong to the eternal Chad, and this is what all of my experience tells me. Intelligent women (some vastly more intelligent than I am) all prefer men markedly less intelligent (not slightly less) than themselves. I don't know what this is about, but I see it all the time.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 00:55:15 2018 No.10834757 Bump

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 01:11:17 2018 No.10834806 >>10834428 have you read the conspiracy against humanity? it's pretty good

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 01:16:41 2018 No.10834821 >>10834806 Ill take a look. Thanks for the response.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 01:25:51 2018 No.10834849 >>10834821 no problem, let us know what you thought of it when you're done

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 01:30:20 2018 No.10834862 Sometimes i come up with utterly imbecilic ideas for a thread and giggle to myself like a retard of how stupid they are.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 01:38:11 2018 No.10834890 Why does everyone have to pretend they're not hungry at dinner time? So what if I'm a grown man and so what if there's kids that haven't got their plate yet? I work hard and I'm hungry.

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 01:44:23 2018 No.10834904

>>10834890
what are you even asking here? can you not solve your own problems, ask yourself what the consequences are if you eat your shitty dinner before your gross kids, if you can deal with that then do it, if not then don't. social norms don't matter unless you want the reward for following them, which is probably not having to listen to your horrible wife screech in anger because she follows the same weird dinner rules you do. eat your dinner.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 01:51:48 2018 No.10834925 >>10834904 I'm questioning why those types of social norms exist in the first place. I don't need to be told I can flaunt social norms if I really wanted to. Your response is one of the most autistic things I've seen today.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 02:14:01 2018 No.10835015 >>10834925 theyy exist because they're remnants of etiquette and culture that developed and then slowly degraded over hundreds of years, you're literally whining whyyyyyyyyy on a Cambodian graffiti public broadcasting channel

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 02:17:04 2018 No.10835025

>>10830041
Drinking is fundamental to many social situations, in the millennial generation especially. Many women lack the ability to socialize directly with men without the protective encouragement of alcohol. It's not uncommon to see the shyest girls become social butterflies as soon as they have that sex on the beach or cosmo.

Unfortunately for us TRP gym freaks that like to get a good lift and want to see a significant change in our bodies, alcohol is the ultimate destroyer. Especially, as OP pointed out, BEER.

So the battle begins of mitigating the negative physical effects of alcohol against the social stigma of not drinking at social events.

Solution: Vodka water with lime

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 02:40:27 2018 No.10835127 >>10831961 >>10831963 Fuck, this might be the most disgustingly melodramatic and self-pitying post I've ever made on here. I really have to stop working myself up into these states, they do me no good.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 02:45:40 2018 No.10835152 >>10835025 what about when your brahs want you to have brewski?//?

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 02:55:00 2018 No.10835188 always awkward coming to this board as a jew and seeing people unironically rec shit like culture of critique surely there's a way to be an edgy bad boy bookworm besides 'fuck da jooz'

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 02:57:48 2018 No.10835199 >>10835188 again the hitler dubs

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 03:02:06 2018 No.10835214 >>10835188 there's one wacko crank who posts 90% of that shit and everyone be perfectly ok with that guy being banned

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 03:32:40 2018 No.10835310 have two credits on audible but i already pirated everything i wanted to hear, recommend me something obscure to cop, preferably non-fic

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 04:38:02 2018 No.10835557

>>10830041
Been having some introspection on the character of my reasoning processes. Something that's struck me is how immediate most of it is. Now, when something is merely a matter of straight forward, algorithmic deduction, that's one thing. How one thing leads to another is clear and easy to understand. However that, along with specific-to-general type inductions, make up only a small amount of our practical reasoning. Most of it consists of a back and forth between making predictive models of the world and correcting for the models when there's something that doesn't fit. Reasoning to the best explanation, one may say.
And as I've said, I've realized on introspection that it's immediate. When you try to solve a riddle, you are trying to fit various interpretations onto the problem and intelligently reasoning consequences to those interpretations. And while I could always retroactively see how I got to where I got, this ability seems largely innate. Some people are just better at it than others, and trying to bring fervor into things only marginally improves how well you perform at this. At best you can only keep at it stubbornly until you figure it out and your brain has the eureka.
This applies when I try to learn a new concept ,in say physics, and try to test it against my understanding of reality. I am actively interpreting and reinterpreting the concept as I try to apply it to a larger amount of cases, and the rate at which I do this seems more or less fixed when I keep at it. Or if I'm reading and trying to analyze and/or interpret a text, the same follows. I grapple with understandings that make the most sense.
And again, it all seems immediate and like a thing I can't really improve the rate of.

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 04:54:25 2018 No.10835610

Thinking about love and death. Thinking how there must be a purpose to all of it, about how I would gladly dedicate my life to someone or something, if such things existed for me. About how my lack of focus and direction squandered any pontential I have and about how I wish it wasn't so. Thinking about my desire for immortality and how boring things have been so far, about how afraid and frustrated I constantly am and about the weight in my head that's always there, and has been for quite a few years now.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 10:07:06 2018 No.10836306 Who else /snowed in/?

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 10:45:30 2018 No.10836429 >>10834168 This, most of the 4chan losers who can't get a GF are stuck that way because they suck at making friends and generally being likeable. This also why they dont get anywhere in their careers.

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 11:40:12 2018 No.10836614

I think I would enjoy working as a garbage collector or a public maintenance worker. I think I'd be very good at my work as well, very diligent and thorough.

And I really need to stop coming to fucking 4chan. This website enables and actively encourages my worst tendencies.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 12:03:42 2018 No.10836713 >>10836614 >Confessions of a 4chan Janitor

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 13:11:03 2018 No.10836969 >>10835188 What's wrong with it?

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 13:35:11 2018 No.10837054 >>10835025 Just drink a Guinness or two and stop at that. It's got relatively few calories and is actually nutritious, unlike vodka.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 13:59:36 2018 No.10837129 >>10836713 kek

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 15:09:00 2018 No.10837406

>>10830041
Over $150 from my writings so far this month, I'm all stocked up on food, got a bottle of Jameson's whiskey waiting for me for St.Pat's and gonna have at least one pint of Guinness on the occasion downtown. I've been doing pretty good at cutting down my drinking in the meantime and I continue to make progress in making writing my full-time profession.

What's on my mind? Happiness. The Sun in shining and I can hear a bird chirping outside.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 15:17:56 2018 No.10837435 >>10837406 Proud of you anon, keep on writing that erotica

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 15:25:17 2018 No.10837456 >>10837406 pathetic alcoholic materialist >$150 poor people are so easy to placate

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 15:29:26 2018 No.10837470 File: 20 KB, 236x236, B4E1D3C0-D444-4D43-9B88-3B3548F17DF5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I have to write a short story for a test tomorrow but I have no good ideas. I’m going to do nothing and die.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 15:33:13 2018 No.10837485 >>10837470 Make it a power fantasy about you killing someone you hate and thinly veil it by tweaking names and putting it in a medieval setting.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 15:36:29 2018 No.10837505 >>10837470 Write a short story about a guy that found five bucks on the ground in a coffee shop. He then uses it to buy coffee.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 15:42:37 2018 No.10837533 I can't get over having no creativity.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 15:43:16 2018 No.10837534 >>10837505 And as he goes to leave a barista notices that the tip jar has fallen onto the floor

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 15:43:46 2018 No.10837538

>>10837435
Erotica is indeed in large part what I'm making money from. I still enjoy writing it, and that's what matters.

>>10837456
Last year I made around $600, this year I'm set to make over $1000, we'll see what 2019 has in store for me. I'm in it for the long haul, anon, and I'm making money doing what I love. Not many people get to say that, but I do.

>>10837470
A short story is basically anything under 7500 words. Easy stuff. I wrote a 4000-word short story for $40 not long ago, and it took around 1.5 hours.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 16:36:18 2018 No.10837772 Imagine thinking that being miserable for five out of seven days of the week is OK and not a societal failure

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 16:46:50 2018 No.10837822 >>10837772 When you’re miserable like that you don’t care about being a societal failure and if it’s ok or not. But it depends on what you mean by miserable though.

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 16:51:42 2018 No.10837843 [DELETED]

File: 468 KB, 665x1000, ___n_a_b_y____by_sideshowsito-d9iht47.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I reread a comparison that categorizes people into either sport cars or freight trains, and I love the freight train analogy so much. I also want to fuck the shit out of this girl so fucking badly brehs. I want to literally break her spine from how hard I'm holding her down when I'm fucking her.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 17:11:51 2018 No.10837956 >>10830381 THEY KEEP WALKING BUT THE BRIGHT LIGHTS ARE ALWAYS FAR AWAY

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 17:16:12 2018 No.10837977

>>10833742
The problem is most political beliefs aren't held out of reason they are held out of emotion and reason is only used to justify it after the fact. So 99% of people don't view politics the way you do. For them its a defining characteristic of themselves. Criticizing their beliefs is identical to critiquing them directly which explains why you get the reaction that you do.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 17:20:22 2018 No.10838001 >>10834428 Read Schopenhauer

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 17:23:42 2018 No.10838018 >>10837956 We must imagine them happy

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 17:32:09 2018 No.10838061

I love my boyfriend so fucking much but I think I know he doesn't love me as much...when we go out I see him looking at other girls and I can tell that he thinks they're sexy or whatever and that's not something I have the right to be angry about but damn it hurts because I don't think about or want anyone but him...I'm starting to think that if you're truly in love you're bound to get cucked

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 17:38:00 2018 No.10838087 >>10838061 and yet he's still with you. consider what that means.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 17:39:53 2018 No.10838096 I'm thinking of selling my copy of Women and Men. Any takers?

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 17:48:32 2018 No.10838129

I'm a terrible writer. I was praised so much for it when I was younger, and now I can't be bothered to discipline myself enough to improve. It's such a major part of my identity, and I'm realizing even that part of me, this thing that I thought made me even remotely special, is nothing but arrogance.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 17:58:07 2018 No.10838174 >push headphone jack all the way in >quality in right ear is fuzzy and left ear is ok >plug in headphone jack but not all the way >sound quality drastically improves huh how about that

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 18:01:47 2018 No.10838191

>>10838129
>arrogant and self aware
I know that feel

>>10838174
obviously it's fucked up, either the jack or the port. it's probably going to get worse over time and you'll have to adjust it more and more. at least that happened with my old, cheap headphones

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 18:16:47 2018 No.10838287 >>10838191 nope sorry old man looks like i hacked my headphones and youre just mad

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 19:25:01 2018 No.10838582

I don't know what approach I should take. Should I be open and honest with others about who I am? Should I only show them if they ask? Or should I just play a role, co-operating with others in the real world, even if it means being recognized as something I'm not?

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 20:30:57 2018 No.10838929

>>10830041
Did this motherfucker really end his post with an exclamation mark? Why did this declaration require exclamation? Maybe it's because he's a coward and cowards necessarily must show displays of goodwill so as to preemptively avoid conflict. But everything I say is pure guesswork. Well, most of it. The bullseye of assurance is tiny and moving. Target's sell stuff: nail-head hitting hardline software updates.

This just in: the 'p' key on my keyboard doesn't work. So every time I need to type out 'p' I have to hit command v. It's particularly frustrating when I want to start a sentence with a word beginning with 'p,' so I usually resolve it by reshaping the sentence, which is actually not a bad writing exercise. Setting up constraints to increase creativity and whatnot. I've also noticed—since the death of my 'p' key—how little the 'p' is used in the English language. A quick Google searcherino led me to discover it's the 19th least used letter, just before—surprisingly—'B.' I would be capitalizing my 'p's but it's not worth the trouble.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 20:34:06 2018 No.10838945 >>10830648 DAY 2 OF NO FAP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 20:37:22 2018 No.10838953 >>10830365 start lifting and eating healthy

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 20:40:59 2018 No.10838963 Trying to figure out how I can kill myself without making my loved ones feel bad. The only way I've found so far is waiting for them to die first, but it's taking too long.

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 20:51:24 2018 No.10838992

>>10830703
why did you put everything in spoilers? You didn't spoil anything, it's just harder to read. There's no reason for it.

Regarding your question, is this your first novel? If so, then writing in multiple first person pov is kind of an ambitious undertaking. It can be effective, and your ideas sound like they could be good but you'll have to work really hard to make it not sound cheesy.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 20:57:11 2018 No.10839009 >>10838963 Why do you want to an hero anon?

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 20:58:49 2018 No.10839014

On paper, not much has improved for me since the beginning of the new-ish year. However, my recurring explicit death fantasies have significantly subsided. While I once could easily spend over an hour in bed imagining various violent ways I could die—each more gruesome and implausible than the last—now I almost never think about it. Suicide rarely crosses my mind. That's it. And, well, I'm not totally sure why. It might have something to do with my consistent usage of St. John's Wort. Definitely hasn't hurt. It might also simply be a shift in perspective: a new though slight sense of motivation and ambition. Everything still runs on chaos, and I prolong my duties as far as possible, but demolition just seems much more foreign to me now. I don't feel like a loser. On paper, I'm still well aware that I am in fact one. But viscerally it doesn't feel that way. Which is good, I suppose. Yet, I still dread that I won't be able to live all the way up to that nebulous blimp known as "my potential." Self-doubt hasn't ended its lease on my mind, though it has been going on many more vacations.

Too much circuitry to translate. Logging out.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 21:07:01 2018 No.10839042 >>10832027 I hear philly is nice, not too expensive yet. Also Houston

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 21:08:36 2018 No.10839052 >>10839009 Nothing special really. I just don't enjoy life enough to having to deal with another 60 years of it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 21:54:38 2018 No.10839253 >>10833936 >doesn't have drinking buddies >is angry at others for having drinking buddies

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 22:20:35 2018 No.10839352 >>10830553 whatchu recommend on there?

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 22:32:10 2018 No.10839390

>>10838087
This. I was at the same spot as the anon above and I made up my mind through this thought. Now we are still happy together. Appreciate your partner and
your relationship for what it is and make something beautiful of it. Best of wishes.
>>10838061

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 22:34:19 2018 No.10839393 >>10838061 Get ahead of him. Preemptively break up with him before he can break up with you. Then date me.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 22:34:27 2018 No.10839394 >>10830041 this isn't a place to fucking blog end yourself

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 22:41:15 2018 No.10839423 >>10839394 Actually it is.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 22:41:41 2018 No.10839425 >>10839394 this is a dedicated blog thread kiddo

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 22:45:42 2018 No.10839441

Slow day at work so went around to bosses house to do some landscaping. I'd rather do something than sit around office all day bored.
Been done for an hour now, but coworker and bosses wife go to church together so they are just talking shit. Dude what the fuck let's get out of here I don't want to sit here all day. How the fuck can people just talk nonsense for so long. This is ridiculous.
I'm considering just leaving because this guy doesn't take any hints. My phone is about to go flat. My feet hurt. I need to shit and I am hungry.

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 22:52:23 2018 No.10839486

>>10839441
Now flies are on me. I'm beginning to feel I'll again, and I had only just shaken being sick over the weekend.
Far out these freaking flies. Coworker will not shut the fuck up, late 20s guy acting like a pensioner bitch. Oh lord. I am going insane.
FUCK OFF MY FLIES YOU ANNOYING LITTLE CUNTS WHERE'S MY AEROSOL

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 22:54:25 2018 No.10839497 File: 6 KB, 300x200, laughingjameson.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10839441 >>10839486 >work at an office, but do yard work for your boss anyway The absolute state of wagies

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 22:56:23 2018 No.10839507 >>10839497 I work in the field... I cannot stand being inside an office whether I am actually working or just sitting there half asleep.

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 22:56:25 2018 No.10839508

I was laid off from my job and I'm pissed at myself for being so depressed about it. Never thought I would be this much of a slave to the capitalist idea of dignity derived employment but I legitimately feel emasculated in my current state of joblessness. I'm also severely limited in my options for work because I live in a pretty shitty small city and go to school two nights a week for my Master's. Don't know what I'm going to do. I've felt this uncertainty before and it has hitherto been freeing, but now all that fills me is dread.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 22:57:39 2018 No.10839513 >>10839507 Then why do you work in an office?

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 22:58:23 2018 No.10839516 >>10839513 The office as in headquarters for the business?

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 23:07:03 2018 No.10839547 What the fuck is it with girls on dating apps and dogs? Every single one in their fucking bio has some vapid shit about dogs. Dogs suck- they're retarded. And they all write in the same style and take the same type of fucking pictures. God dammit

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 23:07:57 2018 No.10839550 >>10839547 >Dogs suck- they're retarded Spoken like a true philistine. Why are you even here?

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 23:09:14 2018 No.10839554 >>10839547 >i love dogs/doggers/doges >i love pizza >#theresistance

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 23:11:49 2018 No.10839571 >>10839554 >Take me on an adventure

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 23:11:56 2018 No.10839572 >>10833441 No, there's somebody, a good number of people, actually, who can empathize, but the thing is nobody can give you an answer to your problem.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 13 23:20:35 2018 No.10839609 >>10833441 read The Outsider by Colin Wilson

Anonymous Tue Mar 13 23:41:13 2018 No.10839700
File: 342 KB, 640x463, 19AA8F2B-0256-48F0-96E4-C82FAE987CB1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I’m a cowboy in this world. I wish I could have a good conversation with friends, but there is never an answer from them. Maybe I should make something of myself. Maybe I should travel somewhere or improve myself. I feel like I am but for what purpose if I can’t have a good conversation? For now, I guess, I’ll just ride until I find a reason to stop.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 05:54:39 2018 No.10840752 >>10839253 She cheated on me that night and broke up.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 05:55:58 2018 No.10840758 >>10840752 Sad!

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 06:58:45 2018 No.10840877

>>10830365
At least you are in school. Been out of school back in my shit hometown for a year now. I can't even find the inspiration to read. I 'm bored after I read a chapter, it takes me months to go through half a book.
Let's not talk about inspiration, there is nothing.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 07:00:15 2018 No.10840883 >>10830542 I think that if you are at least interested in this kind of matter, then you have at least already some sort of potential. I don't think you can be a true brainlet if you are interested in ideas

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 07:41:19 2018 No.10840959

>>10838992
>Regarding your question, is this your first novel?
Yes.

>If so, then writing in multiple first person pov is kind of an ambitious undertaking.
I plan on having three P.o.V, is that still an ambitious undertaking? Or should I just write one single P.O.V and add more P.O.V in subsequent novels? Because I thought of that.

>It can be effective, and your ideas sound like they could be good but you'll have to work really hard to make it not sound cheesy.
This is honestly my biggest worry so far, but at the same time, you got it risk it.

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 13:24:46 2018 No.10841849

>>10840959
It comes down to what you think you can reasonably achieve. Writing from a single pov perspective is a good place to start. Maybe try writing some short stories first with each characters pov, that could give you a good idea of how it might turn out. You should take risks of course, but at the same time when you first start out you have to hone your craft. Good luck mate.

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 13:38:10 2018 No.10841905
File: 433 KB, 360x408, ECCD24C3-B7C9-4E50-9DAB-CEC33FCC664D.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I don’t always feel lonely, but when I see people in a relationship interact loving t feels as if some higher power is taunting me with something I could pursue like a madman but would never obtain no matter how long I crawl on my knees towards it. I don’t know if I will ever experience the love of a partner, and my families love for me dwindles as I become more irate with life, misdirecting my anger towards them

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 14:17:35 2018 No.10842076

>>10831083
>idealist Hegelian dialectics
i am calling you out. this is a dead giveaway you either haven't read Hegel, skimmed him or you take your knowledge of him from someone else's mouth (and it better not be fallout nv).
treating Hegel's view as simple teleology is a massive disservice to his work. the dialectic is the posterior (after presuppositionless inquiry into a subject matter) inner movement of the concept as an absolute (independent and self-sufficient) postulate and finding contradiction to the absolute status, and i do not see how this applies towards fascism. to paraphrase Hegel, familiarity is the death of
the understanding.

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 14:39:04 2018 No.10842159
File: 8 KB, 205x246, e389740206fa151c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm a terrible slacker and I hate it. I coast through my schoolwork with minimal effort. I have a very cushy job (unironically believe there are people here that would kill me over how flippant I am towards it) that I just don't do most of the time. I don't have anything other than vague ambitions. I don't use my immense free time productively, though I'm trying to change that. Sometimes I think about trying to be less of a deadbeat, but then I remember that I don't *really* think there's anything wrong with me. The only thing I hate is how alienated and alone I am. I desire normality, not the values that normality promotes.

I'd like to blame my depression for being like this, but I don't believe there's a meaningful difference between "mentally ill you" and "you". This is who I am, if I was different I wouldn't be me.

pic related, it's me drinking my sixth cup of tea today and posting on /lit/ instead of doing something productive

help me

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 14:44:38 2018 No.10842182 >>10842076 >he hasn't read Gentile

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 15:08:18 2018 No.10842274 >>10842182 i read hegel

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 15:12:20 2018 No.10842292 >>10842274 Gentile was the fascist philosopher, and he took Hegel back to his idealist roots, which he used to justify the fascist regime. Hegelian idealism has had a fascist 'taint' ever since.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 15:12:58 2018 No.10842296 I'm sick of politics. I'm not a nihilist, but hearing on and on about increasing political polarization makes me want to retreat into a cave and ponder if it's even worth it. I wouldn't call myself depressed, but it is a pretty depressing situation.

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 15:13:22 2018 No.10842299

>>10842076
Most Marxists have only read Hegel by proxy, or at least the parts of Hegel that are explicitly useful to Marxist theory. This means they basically dismiss everything other than the dialectical method.

Hell, it's rare to even find a commie who actually read Marx, these days.

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 15:20:59 2018 No.10842334

I'M AN ALLIGATOR
I'M A MAMAPAPA COMIN' FOR YOU
I'M A SPACE INVADER
I'LL BE ROCK'N'ROLLIN' /LIT/ FOR YOU

lady stardust came down from the ecliptic plane you mook. i tend to agree. paragraphs of shit on someone broadcasts: brainlet thot. even a well chosen line. that said i have no tattoos.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 15:21:23 2018 No.10842336 I am stressfully happy happily stressed sorry for I am do not engrish good

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 16:57:06 2018 No.10842684

>>10830041
When we first met, I was not in a good place. I despised everyone and everything, especially myself. But then i came to realize that it was not disdain I was experiencing, but such an immense immeasurable love for you that everything else felt like hate.

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 19:23:07 2018 No.10843312

I really think I would be best living alone. Relationships are just not for me because my brain is just not wired to handle the power struggle and fight for dominance. I have no sense of objective reality, so alternate between stubborn resistance and acquiescence. I have trouble determining if motivations are sinister or benign. I am likely a narcissist, paranoiac and have trust issues. Also likely some form of functional autism.

I fantasize about leaving to live on my own, just a small place for me to read and learn and grow. To fast and to nourish my body with good food. To take brisk walks and unplug from the endless chatter of news and Netflix. I work with computers and know many things but need to know more, need to go monk mode and become a fucking oracle. Time is running out. I have made peace with never having the family home with laughing kids and dogs playing fetch in the yard. Maybe there is another purpose, another plan for me.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 19:48:42 2018 No.10843413 >>10830041 man, fuck my hero syndrome

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 21:07:49 2018 No.10843690 >>10842159 devaguify your goals, work towards them

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 21:10:04 2018 No.10843694 My Mexican girlfriend is out of the country. I hope she's coming back.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 21:48:26 2018 No.10843811 >>10843312 How old are you?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 21:54:48 2018 No.10843828 God exists but why care? God or even the Good itself is not a convincing reason to care or do something. And I fail to see how pain or pleasure in the next life is a convincing reason to do anything if it is not a good reason in this life.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:04:25 2018 No.10843861 >>10835188 same here, it´s obnoxious at best

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:10:02 2018 No.10843881 a girl is into me but i just play dumb so i don´t have to deal with talking with normies such as her and their friends, i don´t know what to talk to people without being bored because of what i say, at least i want to keep my dignity intact

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:11:02 2018 No.10843883 File: 54 KB, 453x500, 1420157705521.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >mfw when i realize the jaden smith "how can mirrors be real if our eyes arent real" quote is actually insanely fucking profound

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:11:06 2018 No.10843884 >>10843881 ---i don´t know what to talk to people without them being bored at me---

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:11:18 2018 No.10843887 >>10830041 women are mostly p-zombies, but we like looking at them men are mostly demons, but we need them to prevent starvation and boredom the race is one part demons, one part p-zombies and the tiniest part humans

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:18:09 2018 No.10843918 >>10830542 Confucius says "when the dishes are hard to wash, let them soak"

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:20:18 2018 No.10843927 >>10831079 read 1984 you pleb

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:20:49 2018 No.10843929

I just realized recently that even though I watch a lot of comedy on youtube I rarely ever laugh
It's always a cerebral experience, expect in very rare moments. I would not make a good audience at a comedy club. It would be a small "heh" here and there, and not much else. I don't chalk this up to me being a person who is incapable of having fun or enjoying life, but rather that the kinds of things comedians joke about are within the box of the social order. I don't consider myself a humorless prick, so I feel like people need to step their game up when it comes to making people laugh. I get sick of comedy audiences,.. they laugh at everything. Is it a mob mentality? I just wager they don't know what humour is yet.

"You know how women be spendin all that time in the bathroom? You know, checkin their makeup? You know you be smokin weed and you get the munchies?"

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:22:47 2018 No.10843935 >>10830542 yeah but at least now u have ur bachelors and u can do ur masters in something practical, philosophy is pretty dumb tho its true

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:23:21 2018 No.10843937 >>10843929 normies laugh at everything, you say cheese and they´ll think it´s the funniest shit, mediocrity at it´s finest

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:25:53 2018 No.10843944

>>10831225
Yes there is beauty but not in a pleasurable sense. In the past there was honor in combat; that's when war was a beautiful thing. It really was about the stronger surviving, plundering wealth, and spreading their seed among all the dead men's wives. Now we just bomb sand niggers with a computer screen who are hiding in huts with AKs and 13 year old wives with a goat to fuck when she screams to much.

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:26:39 2018 No.10843948

>>10843312
Your future self will hate you for not attempting to cope with who you are and find a person that can accept your flaws. And if you think you'll be the same later, than you should understand that you've never had enough self-consciousness to have collected these insights on your own, that you're more than likely allowing yourself to be defined from the outside, and that you'll never know how you'll change given enough struggle. Character is made in confrontation. And you'd be selfish to waste your talents elsewhere not to attempt to support those who will eventually support you, hopefully. (Take responsibility, kiddo.)

>>10839700
Been all over the world in search of good conversations. Know this feeling. The worst is when the money dries up and you gotta buckle down and get serious long enough to get some cash together, then get the fuck outta dodge. Been lucky myself to land back with family who'll feed me and give me a roof and then get me setup again towards some future earnings, or even give me work to fund some new dream I've got in my head. Been lucky to have them, and now I spend my days regretting what I haven't given back. Feel pretty selfish, but it's in my blood, and I think they know it. Just wish I could have had all those conversations with them and have been happy with a simpler life, living to give rather than this nagging desire to keep on the move. Now I suppose, a woman will keep me still, keep me grounded to something long enough that I don't get a feeling like I just got to move on cause, well, I don't even know why, other than it's in my blood.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:27:35 2018 No.10843951 >>10831774 >interesting >women I wouldn't know either

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:27:40 2018 No.10843953 >>10843929 >Implying they're not all drunk during every comedy show.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:31:33 2018 No.10843962 >>10833441 It's not unique to you, I've felt the same for a long time. Just being constantly pushed and pulled to many different things but once you look around, you realize you don't fit in. Just be you. That's about all you can do.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:34:31 2018 No.10843974 >>10843953 Damn, that explains this.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:37:43 2018 No.10843980 >>10843929 Seeing comedy live is a different experience. It's fun with friends and a few drinks. Even unfunny comedians can be hilarious in how shitty they are.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:38:39 2018 No.10843982 >>10843980 I suspected the live experience has something "in the air" about it that makes people laugh more, I haven't been to one before.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:39:29 2018 No.10843983 >>10830041 Law is the worst profession, I am stuck here, I have no other marketable skills, my entire life is work, I’ll never read or write ever again, and I want to off myself.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:39:34 2018 No.10843984 >>10837470 write about a dream you remember

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:40:46 2018 No.10843986 File: 138 KB, 1080x1080, Punished Snake.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10831774 tinder my nigga. but I guess it also depends on where exactly you are. If you're in a big city then you have shit of women at your disposal.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:40:59 2018 No.10843987 >>10838061 if he watches porn, get him to stop

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:41:03 2018 No.10843988 >>10843983 Get a job at seven eleven, rent a one-room place, and spend your free time following your dreams. 40 hours a week still leaves 30 hours to yourself, minus sleep.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:41:54 2018 No.10843991 >>10843988 I’m already 27. It’s too late

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:43:20 2018 No.10843996 >>10843991 I don't get what you mean. I'm 28 and I've done a 180 just recently.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:43:41 2018 No.10843997 >>10838061 talk about your insecurities with him, and also work on yourself in order to over come them

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:44:29 2018 No.10844000 >>10838061 r u a fatfuck or something

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:44:35 2018 No.10844001 >>10838061 You sound like a good girlfriend.

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:46:21 2018 No.10844004
File: 142 KB, 1181x1920, caroline vreeland.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm listening to Mazzy Star - Among My Swan right now and a nigga is in his feelings

shitposting on the CHAN. I need to get out of Connecticut there aint shit ta do here ya boy needs to go on vacay ASAPington

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:46:49 2018 No.10844006 >>10843996 I just feel like all the fires gone. I’m just exhausted. I don’t even comprehend what I’m reading lately.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:47:25 2018 No.10844007 >>10844006 You need to escape before your life becomes a living, grey, passionless hell.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:47:51 2018 No.10844008 >>10843996 Also don’t we have to meet a partner and have a family and shit soon?

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:48:50 2018 No.10844011 [DELETED]

>>10844004
i'm like what kinda nigga listen to mazzy star but then i see u from new england, that shit is good for like an extra 20 iq points even if ur a like some thugged out cambodian refugee or heroin trafficking dominican, maybe there's something in the water idk

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:49:10 2018 No.10844012 >>10839547 it's because dogs provide them emotional support a woman needs >OH LOOOOOK A PUUUUPPYYYY!!!1111!!! AWWWWWWWW but they're on Tinder because they're not willing to fuck the dog m8

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:50:03 2018 No.10844015 >>10844008 No. I'm a virgin, and plan on keeping it that way. Don't subscribe to a stupid system. "It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a sick society" ~krishnamurti

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:51:56 2018 No.10844024
File: 241 KB, 1080x1348, 1519889637774.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10844011
>i'm like what kinda nigga listen to mazzy star but then i see u from new england, that shit is good for like an extra 20 iq points even if ur a like some thugged out cambodian refugee or heroin trafficking dominican, maybe there's something in the water idk

(Why'd you delete it famalam)
tebeehach I don't normally type or speak in AAVE.

Shit I don't even have a college degree yet people always ask if a nigga does. I'm not originally from Connecticut but my Dad raised a nigga right.

blogpost: Thinking about going back to school for Mechanical Engineering.

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:54:39 2018 No.10844033

I feel this utter disconnect when I talk to most people, I prefer to be by myself so it's usually not a huge issue, but usually I feel that people only want to represent something to themselves in talking to someone else.

However I don't mind listening to people sometimes, I like gaining insight into what the world someone occupies is like, and I feel that I can have a compassionate love for people; on the condition that it's a love from a distance

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:54:58 2018 No.10844037

>>10844024
i love new england but now that i'm all old n shit im tryna work out a way to move to the desert, i just want to be toasty warm under a big blue sky all year round, that's my goal for the year, to have this be my last cold winter, of course moving to the warmth is like when a character in a hesse novel moves to the west, they preparing to die in the final stage of life, and maybe so, but i've been in this big cold city long enough

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:56:21 2018 No.10844041
File: 258 KB, 1701x1235, Ralph-Waldo-Emerson.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I've been mad all day because I just want to be by myself instead of working. I'm tired, yet I'm not tired of doing what I want to do. Yet I have to work to make ends meet. And I'm tired of being drained by work that isn't satisfying, isn't a challenge. I'm tired of not trying. I'm angry with so many people and so many of them I don't even know.

I know I'm walking the same bad route I always take, and I can't stop. I feel stupid for not pursuing my interests earlier in life, for holding so many fantasies about playing music and writing fiction and entering academia. I've got to be reasonable and find consolation in the abilities I do have and opportunities that are there, but I desire so much, too much. I desire because I still hate, I still have not reckoned with the world, with all, I still haven't accepted peace and servility. I am too proud, and I am letting it destroy me. I don't want to be known, I want to have made the continents divide. Yet I am myself, foolish and pretending to be humble so as not to interfere. I can sublimate this, but I can't do so without effort. It's a burden to not be able to focus this meglomania on any project, but to have passions this extreme that you can't control, that eventually turn inward to torture you, to stab you with jealousy and anger and hate. I want to not feel entitled to such power, that I should be able to divide the land, but I've been conditioned to these fantasies, and no challenge yet has satisfied me. I seriously believe I could find purpose in some feats, some artistic project, and maybe that will be as simple as having a family. Maybe all this time I've attempting to understand a simple drive towards producing kids rather than art or money or physical strength, or even sexual exploits. Is this why some writers and artists needed to abstain from sex, to produce their children? Is this what I need, what will let me let go of my ambitions and focus on being diligent about just earning a living?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:56:39 2018 No.10844042 >>10844037 >moves to the west meant moves to the east, my fingers are still frozen from walking home and i can't think

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:57:01 2018 No.10844044

>>10844033
>"usually I feel that people only want to represent something to themselves in talking to someone else."

Heh, I know what you mean, but do you feel that you don't do this yourself? Do you mean rather that they are more concerned with representing themselves than discovering you?

That is a possibility. Many, most, people are shallow in this way.

This I feel is a catalyst towards self-discovery, alienation from social circles. Most "social" events are incredibly shallow and tiresome.
The world needs more people like yourself.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:57:49 2018 No.10844045 File: 63 KB, 633x758, This+video+i+was+having+a+good+day+_58163f1065268f3686cba3d6451792ba.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >"I know you would have treated her right, anon."

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 22:57:49 2018 No.10844046
File: 170 KB, 1200x901, @scumbrat.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10844037
>i love new england

same but its expensive as fuck to live here plus fuck this cold weather d00d. Where do you live? A buddy of mine who is a travel nurse just moved to Arizona and is absolutely loving it. You trying to move to AZ as well?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:00:50 2018 No.10844052 >>10844041 What is it that you would want to direct your overwhelming ambition towards? Is it music, philosophy, all of them? Have you tried and failed at it already?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:01:00 2018 No.10844054 >>10844046 >You trying to move to AZ as well? ur gonna trigger my paranoia bro, but yeah phoenix metro seems p comfy

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:03:20 2018 No.10844062 >>10844054 noice, hope everything works out for you brotha. and Im just a sucker for thicc Yakubian queens.

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:03:20 2018 No.10844063

>>10844041
I feel, have felt, similarly.

Focus is what is necessary. When you actually value yourself, when you know you can do whatever you put your mind to, when you have that kind of confidence, it can be very difficult to actually decide to do any single thing. It is like a ticket to a dream-life and all the possibilities are available. You become an inward battleground of different passions. I want to do many, many, many things. I have an interest in many things. I know that if I could just limit myself, I would be able to do at least that one thing and then that would satisfy me. But that would mean leaving aside all the other things.

The way I have personally reconciled this is to divide my life into my youth and my wisdom years. More specifically, now until 40, 45 years old, and then 45 until death. Right now I will do music ( I am 28 ) and then when I am satisfied with that I will do writing.

This seems a preposterous thing to declare, but that is how i feel.

You must limit yourself to one singular focused endeavor. And also remember that human life is a limited endeavor in itself, destined to die. There is a limited frame of time to do the things you want. To be a master at anything requires at least 10 years of dedication.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:03:52 2018 No.10844064 >>10844046 BRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:04:50 2018 No.10844067 File: 144 KB, 1200x901, scumbrat_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10844064 sniff sniff

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:10:16 2018 No.10844078

>>10844046
i live in new england gotta rep that shit, native americans put that natural good-good shamanic shit in the dirt u know? were all down to earth up here (ironic phrasing lol)

also
>that posterior
y u do dis. lewd pics on the internet are literally the most cruel dick-tease ever lmao

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:10:31 2018 No.10844080 >>10844054 Flagstaff is way cooler than Phoenix. Of course way smaller but it's super comfy there.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:13:00 2018 No.10844089 File: 123 KB, 1200x901, scumbrat.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10844078 where in new england you frommmmmmm niggga this bitch loves attention and constantly posts her ass on twitter.

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:15:24 2018 No.10844097

>>10844080
idk if i can from nyc metro to a 70k town, at least phoenix get like 4 mill total peeps, plus even tho flagstaff looks rad af (any place that had to try to make panhandeling illegal must be one of those nodes on the american hippy network, i grew up a new england exit node where every summer brought dank buds and lsd from as far as the west coast) but the wikipedia has a picture of snow on their trainstation and snow is a hell no if i move to az i never want to see a snowflake again in my life

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:18:06 2018 No.10844106

>>10844052
I want to have time and money to study enough philosophy and music and art to make a living while being in control of the project. I want to express my egotism for once and know inside myself that the thing I produce is good. I've failed to keep at anything long enough because I quickly realised how inept I was at the time, or how oblivious I was to what it seemed like to others. I really felt that mediocre meme, but anything like that always motivates me to become better.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:20:42 2018 No.10844113 fellas my tinder date just confirmed we are meeting tomorrow. 5'10" brunette, fairly large teddies and an ok face. Haven't had sex in like 2 years. I shouldn't get too excited based on the fact that I might not fuck. but fuck it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:21:17 2018 No.10844116 >>10844089 more like >scumBRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:22:00 2018 No.10844117 >>10844116 peep her twitter. https://twitter.com/_scumbrat

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:24:17 2018 No.10844126

>>10844113
i heard these days chicks meet up with dudes on tinder just tryna get free food and weed, maybe play ur vidya if u nerd, and then try friendzone u, like bitch u from tinder dont fuck with me ho, but maybe that dude was just a corny mf, probably, i look ok i could probably get tinder ass but im too paranoid

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:25:04 2018 No.10844129

>>10844089
haha Massachusetts big mountain state baby wouldnt wanna be anywhere else atm. damn lol well i love giving it but so what shes a random girl on twitter what would she care

>>10844106
wait a minute r u me

>>10843929
ight i got a good one for you its my favorite. mickey mouse starts talking to a divorce lawyer and the lawyer says "ya cant divorce minnie just cause shes acting silly you know" and mickey says "no i said she was fucking goofy"

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:26:06 2018 No.10844133 File: 173 KB, 2048x1546, wvv561t6ceyy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10844129 lel forget meme pic

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:26:52 2018 No.10844134

>>10844063
I've given up on my music before and turned to writing. I had the same thought, and now I'm older than you and I don't feel like I'm smart enough to achieve the effects I desire. I might settle for a just-good-enough career or write a decent book, but it will be because I've put this passion elsewhere. I want to study more and I think I'm afraid of missing out on life and missing out on a career in music or writing. I don't know. I hate feeling like there is so much to a subject that I'm interested in that I don't know about. I just want to read and converse and write about ideas and try to make new forms of art to convey. But I feel stifled by the social pathways to make this life for myself.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:27:17 2018 No.10844137 >>10844126 oh this aint my first tinde date, ive been on plenty before. and yeah some of them just wanted free food or drinks, but I also have gotten laid a few times and so can you. I believe you anon. you can do it

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:27:51 2018 No.10844139

wish i had somethin to eat im a lil hungry
i wish i had woken up earlier than i did today, now i wont be able to sleep until like 6am and i don't feel like doin anything
meant to go write today for a lil while but i havent
not feeling as bad as i sometimes do tho so thats nice
i like the comfiness of these threads

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:28:54 2018 No.10844142
File: 981 KB, 500x500, 1520979509424.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Day 3 of NoFap. I didn't really want to masturbate that badly today. If someone I knew IRL read this out loud, I'd feel so ashamed. I don't know who I want to be. I don't know if I should be honest with others about who I am. Do I show my true colors? Or do I just play the role? What role do I play? What /are/ my true colors? How can I find out?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:29:11 2018 No.10844143 >>10844137 >oh this aint my first tinde date, ive been on plenty before uhh didnt u just say u didnt get laid for two years, has tinder even been out that long

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:29:21 2018 No.10844144 >>10844134 >But I feel stifled by the social pathways to make this life for myself. You have to do it anyways. Regardless of money.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:30:31 2018 No.10844150 >>10844142 There are great moments where you are nearly falling asleep that reveal your unfiltered thoughts. Catch some of those and you'll see yourself as you are.

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:31:27 2018 No.10844152
File: 98 KB, 1165x545, img.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10844143
>uhh didnt u just say u didnt get laid for two years, has tinder even been out that long

uhhh Tinder was created in 2012 my dude. and last time I got laid was thru tinder 2 years ago lol. then I deleted the app and now Im back on it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:31:29 2018 No.10844153 >>10844142 >show my true colors dude no offense but that sounds wicked gay, is that what this nofap shit is all about, u dudes been wackin it to trannies and u feelin ashamed

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:32:45 2018 No.10844156 >>10844152 the only time i got laid off the internet was craigslist and it was gay

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:33:19 2018 No.10844159 >>10844156 try tinder dude

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:33:47 2018 No.10844161 >>10844152 >2012 damn man times flies the 2010s are almost over man were all gonna fucking be dead before we know it

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:34:33 2018 No.10844164 >>10844161 yeah i graduated HS in 2010 this shit is weird mane

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:34:49 2018 No.10844165 >>10844161 oops didn't mean to make the whole thing green

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:36:09 2018 No.10844170 File: 556 KB, 1200x1553, 1521057528095.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10844165 its aight nigga

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:37:35 2018 No.10844174
File: 54 KB, 500x391, tumblr_ochyye0ik71utapkmo2_500.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10844150
I'd love a good night's rest.

>>10844153
No, the NoFap blurb and the following sentences are completely unrelated. I don't know what my values are. I don't know if I want to be serious or stoic, or approach life with less concern. I don't know if I should hide my emotions, or have no qualms about opening up as to how I feel. I don't know if I should be alone without no one to talk to, or continue to talk to classmates and family. I feel very distant from them. I don't know who the real me is.

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:41:00 2018 No.10844181

>>10844139
i havent really slept or eaten in like 4 days now. i like the comfiness too i feel like i can be myself, as silly as that might sound as just words on a screen . chin up bro

>>10844142
i havent fapped in months. after a few weeks your mind recalibrates itll be second nature. first step of being who you are i believe is having faith in your heart and that youre a good person who cares about others. from there fuck the rest. finding out is fun, its part of the true colors. sometimes even the best of us gotta let loose a bit dude

ight someone judge my sappy love poem the color thing triggered me lel

I wonder what you're like
What color shines your light
I'm not the first to wonder, and that's alright
I wonder how I'll knock your door
Just the once, or a succession of four
I wonder what expression will greet me
Healthy sick alert or sleepy
I wonder but I don't think too hard
What's the whole to a fractal shard
No I don't strain myself
I'm happy I am, on the lowest shelf
What c

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:47:50 2018 No.10844217 I dislike very much everything, I have no reason to do the things which I do and yet I carry on, why is that? A life without passion or purpose is a life not worth living, and yet I still live

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:48:26 2018 No.10844220

>>10844044

Yes anon in a sense this is what I mean, specifically that I think most people are primarily concerned with using other people as a conversational mechanism through which they can represent a certain thing to themselves (the *thing* can be a type of abstract object, a memory, usually something in relation to their identity)

I'm not saying this is evil and I'm better than everyone else, but the type of person I am, I just happen to find it more interesting and fulfilling to gain a window into what someone is really about, what their world might be like; even if it's a small glimpse into something that might be shallow. And to have this process reciprocated to me means alot to me, since I care very intensely about the things I dedicate my time and my thought to; to be able to discuss these things with someone who is sincerely receptive to gaining insight as to who I am means alot.
The issue I've had with most people is that even expressing alittle bit of what I have to say can be humiliating in a way, because I care so much about what I'm saying, at it just appears as if I'm being overly intense or just not fitting in with the situation

And yes I agree, I think for people of a similar personality type can really benefit from solitude. And that's very nice of you to say anon, I really appreciate this interaction and the fact that you empathize with me. I apologize for typing so much and I don't mean to seem like too much of a pretentious faggot

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:49:45 2018 No.10844225 >>10844217 commit partial suicide Don't kill yourself, but kill the life you have right now, if you follow what i mean

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:50:38 2018 No.10844228 >>10844106 Right....I empathize with this creative drive alot. Do you live on your own? How busy is your current job?

Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:52:22 2018 No.10844238

>>10844181
>your mind recalibrates itll be second nature.

I don't feel like acting on my libido right now, not as much as I did yesterday or on Monday. I don't want to be a slave to my urges, I want to have control and discipline over my desires.

>and that youre a good person who cares about others

I don't care about being a good person, but I would enjoy caring about others. I enjoy empathy, and understanding others, but I don't necessarily want to interact with other people. I definitely don't want to be misanthropic.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:52:44 2018 No.10844241 >>10844225 I understand you, but I am lacking something with which I might do this with, perhaps courage or some adventurous spontaneity. I think I might go out looking for a fight tonight

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 14 23:56:10 2018 No.10844244 If god was real he should have made us immortal. There’s so much to do and not enough time to do it all, it’s fucking torture just thinking about it

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 00:00:21 2018 No.10844253
File: 259 KB, 800x1015, William_Blake_-_The_Temptation_and_Fall_of_Eve_(Illustration_to_Milton's_-Paradise_Lost-)_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I felt a strange thing happen recently that is hard for me to cope with, a feeling I haven't had since I was a teenager. I felt a weird optimism that couldn't be diminished by reason. I said on here to someone that I had faith without belief, and it was a joke, but this opened up something inside me that hasn't gone away. I ruminated on it for a long while, obsessively. Then after a stressful day I was thinking about my future and started reading a weird text then I had a flash of my childhood self, a joy that was so beautiful, I was for a moment the same kid I had thought I'd lost touch with long ago, and, I know that maybe I've constructed this vision and even the memory of me as a child, but the scene I daydreamed struck me and became me, who I was, that happy child, and it was me so profoundly that the experience hasn't left, nor has the sense of some purpose tied to some future happiness.

I've tried to reason myself into dismissing what all this could mean, but the pathway seems there inside me. I remember how moments before I was playing around foolishly with the I Ching copy I had and started imagining myself pursuing meditation more seriously, and from that I started to instantly feel reassured. Then the flash happened. And I know that, as most of the spooky shit that's been happening to me this last year has been me reading into connections too deeply and making something supernatural of my projection, I'm just magical thinking myself into a communion with something, but I can't help it. I'm not lost to the possibility of my experience being irrational, but I can't help but wonder that if this is helpful to me, why would I go to such lengths to invalidate it. And regardless if I need to just say, yes this was some new pills working to make me positive about my future, shouldn't I not still feel that ridiculousness? Maybe I've dabbled in the fantasy of a spiritual life too long alongside my rational, materialistic worldview which is there to give me strength in doubt. I've never had to leap for faith, I've have thousands of occasions to become a believer of something beyond, but all of them subsided before with time and research. But what of this, when no explanation removes a strange certainty not of my life, but of my character. Is it just that I accessed a place in myself because of chemicals and given enough days when I stop using them I feeling back to being lost and despondent?

I really want to be converted, I think. I really want to sit amongst other believers and not feel as though I there as an atheist who lacks community, lacks values. I'd hate to live in a country with no religions even as atheist, and I only call myself that because I can't explain my sense of gods to even myself without realising how ridiculous I sound. I don't want to be thought of as spiritual either, but I can't help musing about how profound and spooky so many omens and signs have been for me. I thought I'd grown out of this shit.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 00:07:19 2018 No.10844267 >>10844253 tl;dr lol

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 00:07:20 2018 No.10844268 File: 3 KB, 79x250, Autodidact.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10844228 Yes, sort of. Just a room and a shared kitchen bathroom. Job isn't busy yet, but will be soon. And I'm about to move and have a roommate.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 00:09:06 2018 No.10844271 >>10844241 > I think I might go out looking for a fight tonight That's the spirit, hahaha

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 00:21:39 2018 No.10844295

>>10844268
I'm sorry if this is shitty advice, but since I don't know what kind of person you are, I would suggest coming up with an idea for a specific project you want to do. I've done a ton of musical projects and I know that they all need to be concentrated on within their own zone sort of. So specific project, find out what equipment you need for said project, find out how much it will cost, ect. Make a schedule for yourself, try to organize and categorize your projects as much as you can, have specific (I mean specific as you can have, most good musical ideas aren't pre planned) goals that are distinct from one another

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 00:24:38 2018 No.10844300

>>10844217
waaaaait a minute r u me too lel

>>10844238
i mean like when you dont fap for a couple weeks, your mind recalibrates and stops depending on it entirely. i have zero compulsion whatsoever for energetic release but like ive always craved intimacy insatiably. i like the scene in that dont mess with the zohan movie with the dude laying in bed with 20 girls on him that right there is the dream lmao. but nah really i mean bruh look who youre talking to ive been on a computer for like 5 days straight just talking to people and chatbots because i have no friends or outlets for interaction and no desire or money to just go travel or whatever. literally just do what you want and dont be a fucker who hurts other people and causes problems

>>10844244
i dont remember being born so speaking literally as far as i know i have always been alive i see no reason to not just continue believing that. i think death is just precursor to rebirth anyway

>>10844253
damn this past year eh? thats funny last year around this time i had a very very spiritual psychotic break maybe its all magic and unicorns after all

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 00:27:35 2018 No.10844310

I have to write this giant soul destroying year-long research paper as the last thing before I can just move into writing my dissertation, that in practice everyone really ends up doing in 2-4 months MAX because the feedback process is so weirdly staggered, and I'm on the last 2 day stretch

I'm so relieved it went even moderately well, it's been like a fucking rollercoaster of "am I insane? am I so far into this project that only I can still understand it and the final product will be mediocre or even meaningless?" despite having done nonstop work for 9 months on it to the point that my entire existence has revolved around it

I basically did the entire dissertation proposal as the paper as usual because I'm a fucking idiot who can't just do a bite-sized project like a normal human. I have to climb onto the entire exploding nightmare of all of my combined interests and hunches in life and try to steer and channel them into one big Magnum Opus even though it's a FUCKING MAKEWORK PAPER

I'll end up getting the PhD much much faster as a result because I basically again did the entire proposal a year and a half early and can start writing the PhD right away basically but holy shit is this painful, I'm probably going to have 350 insanely dense interwoven footnotes

I'm just so fucking relieved it has come together at the last moment, time crunch notwithstanding, because at least that's better than standing there with 2 days left to write and still going "???? IS THIS EVEN A THING?" while also being sleep deprived and brain-fogged so completely lacking the wherewithal to meta-reevaluate your own project and second-guess yourself intelligently. I know people who are at that stage now and I've been there before and I feel bad that it didn't happen to me, like "there but for the grace of god"

Who would have known that wandering around like a schizophrenic hobo vaguely thinkin' about German idealism stuff would have resulted in something concrete at the end of almost a year. Knowing me it's just as likely I could have just ended up with a life-size statue of Goethe reading a tome made of anonymous human skin and clutching his dick

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 00:33:05 2018 No.10844326

>>10844310
whats ur paper about anon? im that other dude from before and last year i wrote like this 2 part series of threads actually on 4chan describing the exact self-concepted idea and procession of events in which god was created within the existing universe. honestly my proudest work despite being a delusional fuckwit

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 00:44:38 2018 No.10844353 >>10833742 How are you altruistic for arguing poorly with people on the internet? Go donate to a charity or something.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 00:53:11 2018 No.10844377 >>10833742 dude i love you. i thought i was partially going insane, it seems like almost everyone has a god-complex sometimes.

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 01:02:55 2018 No.10844394
File: 22 KB, 219x350, wieland-or-the-transformation-9781633558779_lg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10844300
I'd slit your throat if you let me in closer. Lucky for computers and surveillance and decent people to keep us out of the way of traffic and such accidents. This is isn't a threat either, because you'll just laugh as I did then, purposelessly. Feel free to be introduced to me in person anytime.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 01:09:05 2018 No.10844406 >>10844394 get a hobby dork

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 01:35:25 2018 No.10844466 >>10844406 spying and defamation isn't justice you knob. the vigilantly justice of right is as immature as the left. yet no one seems to care, so why should I commit myself to fucking with idiots for whatever ends I please. fucking nannys

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 01:59:59 2018 No.10844517 File: 202 KB, 914x599, 7478993.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10844244 >If god was real he should have made us immortal. He did.

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 04:00:45 2018 No.10844804

>>10843811
Soon to be 34, hence time running out. I suppose I should have already decided who I am and what I want to do, whether to have kids, take a year out and see the world, I dunno
>>10843948
Not entirely sure what you mean, to me being alone again when I was happy before (if sexually frustrated) would be copig with who I was. I can't follow your argument but I am probably being defined by the outside as I have no real identity, I am a ghost. Nobody looks at me and says I am a mean biker dude, or a sullen goth, or even a nerd, I just am. Yes I have read Last Psychiatrist, understand that if you don't make choices they will be made for you. Trouble is I don't know what is the right thing is. Are you saying I should find someone who understands I often need hours to myself to work on things that interest me? Some traits I could change, I can and have grown in some respects, but I am not sure I can swallow the blue pill entirely and follow the normal path.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 09:29:24 2018 No.10845489 Only talented people can say "practice makes perfect" for in their case, it might, if perfection really was a thing. For the large majority of people it's "practice makes average"

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 10:54:33 2018 No.10845757 >wake up >check on the posts I made last night >die on the inside when I see how whiny and childish they all are >know I'll do again tonight

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 10:57:17 2018 No.10845764 >>10844804 >blue pill No worries. You're a special kind of dumb to think the way you do and still say shit in blue pill vs red pill terms. You obviously haven't interacted with women or people in general to even see how a partnership could work.

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 11:06:01 2018 No.10845788
File: 37 KB, 363x486, thrasymachus-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10845757
the worst are never the posters who say something but the posters who think their critique is worth something, like Redpill Bros who think in absolute terms not knowing that they're being subverted by Chads who understand determinism better than they do. More /lit/tles for the daddies like Peterson to rescue. More incels to be made into robots.

Fucking lovely morning for hate.

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 11:07:46 2018 No.10845795

I moved abroad 6 months ago for a job. I haven't managed to make any friends and the only person I know here is a guy I knew from uni who works with me but who I don't like. I feel incredibly out of place in this city, it has been months since I have had a social interaction where I don't feel like I have said the wrong thing. I just want socializing to be easy again, like it was at home.

There is no language barrier. I don't know what the problem is. Maybe it's cultural, maybe it's being in the working world, maybe I've just changed and lost some youthful part of me that helped me meet people and make friends. I've never had trouble making friends before.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 11:46:20 2018 No.10845911 >>10844004 Mazzy star is great also dem tittays

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 13:03:54 2018 No.10846177 >>10834428 Read "Mortality" by Christopher Hitchens

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 13:08:53 2018 No.10846196 Over $200 made so far this month from my writings. Fuck yeah.

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 13:21:25 2018 No.10846237

I've been talking for about a week with this girl I met at uni and have come to the realization that my social skills have eroded. My life could also just be devoid of new and exotic experiences; instead of talking to her about interesting events or telling stories I tend go on these long conceptual tangents which she probably doesn't even register as being connected to the immediate topic. I feel like she is interested in me solely because of her lack of experience when it comes to men, which led to her being taken aback by my unexpected approach, combined with some perceived shred of maturity due to an age gap, and mild physical attraction. I really need a new hobby besides math, books and programming.

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 13:33:39 2018 No.10846277

I'm not particularly smart, beautiful, creative or artistic, things that are required to be successful. But I've never been satisfied by just being another cog in the machine, another average guy. So 4 months ago I did what I thought would change my life the most. I quit my job. Life got harder, no, life is still harder. I picked up a small part time job to help scrape by, but the bills are stacking up, and I might just end up on the streets one day, maybe even in the near future. But even through all of that, I am happier than I've ever been. I've found what I value the most in life. Freedom. Freedom to do what I want, when I want. I've realized that for the miniscule time I'm on this earth, I want my own time to be about me. I want to be the star of my life. The world views me as a loser, and maybe I am. But my life is not about how the world views me, but I how I view the world. I might end up dying young in the gutter somewhere, but I hope that at that time, I feel that it was worth it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 19:28:09 2018 No.10847624 >>10844217 Read The Noonday Demon

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 21:21:43 2018 No.10848050 File: 35 KB, 484x497, 01f6461979899af4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Hard to imagine that some people want to live forever when I don't even want to finish the week.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 22:22:28 2018 No.10848273 reee >>10848050 lol this nigga's got 2 elbows in one arm

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 22:48:07 2018 No.10848365
File: 21 KB, 320x236, UncannyValleyChart.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I feel very comfortable around family and close friends, and also pretty comfortable chatting with complete strangers, but very uncomfortable around coworkers or other people whom I interact with frequently but but don't know on a personal level.

It's like pic related applied to social interaction

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 22:51:03 2018 No.10848380

>>10848050
Nobody actually wants to live forever when pressed to think about it, if you confront them with the fact that they would live through the heat death of the universe, the destruction of the Earth, the decay and disappearance of all they've loved and known, etc. But neither do they want to die, for obvious reasons. As long as you're not a thoughtless fence sitter like most people, I don't see a problem.

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 23:24:34 2018 No.10848508

>>10848365
I think this is a normal phenomenon

>>10846277
I think you have some growing up to do. But where you’re at is fine if you’re young. Write some poetry.

>>10846196
What kind of writings? How does it work out in terms of dollars per hour?

>>10845795
Maybe you need to do something different. Join a judo club or something.

>>10845757
Neurotic people die earlier in life. Don’t get too hung up on dumb shit you say. As hard as that may be.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 23:25:57 2018 No.10848521 >>10848508 How far up your own ass do you have to be to be this kind of poster?

Tristram Shandy Thu Mar 15 23:31:13 2018 No.10848538

>>10848365
>It's like pic related applied to social interaction
Feel like this diagram is not coherent with Freud's understanding of the uncanny. Doesn't the uncanny (unheimlich) trade on a particularly high level of familiarity, but a familiarity that can't be placed (I suppose that's why it's familiarity rather than straight up knowledge)?
If I were to remake this graph I would reflect the uncanny valley along y=x, making it the uncanny mountain

Anonymous Thu Mar 15 23:37:34 2018 No.10848565
File: 120 KB, 518x550, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Infernape was overly ambitious, and every bit as greedy as he was stubborn. So it was no surprise to the party when he refused to turn back when the blizzard started. This
Was no place to be for a fire type, yet he pressed onward. The party now back at the cabin, Articunos words echoed
Throughout Infernapes thoughts; "Should you be foolish enough to brave the howling blizzards that frequent this place, the frozen labyrinth ahead past them will devour you- and if not that then what lies waiting inside will!"
But there was no turning back now.

>Infernape would not be seen again for some time, if not at all...

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 23:45:23 2018 No.10848594 File: 936 KB, 644x644, Wheredoyou.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10848521

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 15 23:49:13 2018 No.10848607 I fucking hate STEM idiots who take pleasure in the fact that they have no souls and view everything from their sterile, analytical perch at the prow of their ship of "progress"

Anonymous Fri Mar 16 00:29:29 2018 No.10848748

>>10848607
This is all of my friends. I can't tell you how many times I've been told "you're too smart to believe in God," and other similar sentiments by people who have no concept of history or philosophy or simply being humble. We can buy shitty electric cars and land rockets in reverse now so I guess we know everything.

Anonymous Fri Mar 16 00:33:41 2018 No.10848767

This place keeps triggering me, it seems as if they've all bought into christcuckery and polfuckery, while simultaneously posing as intellectuals. I've been thinking of fortifying my world view with the sole purpose of crushing faggots on the internet, but then I realize how stupid that is, but yet since I have no other reason to not masturbate all day I may just as well guide my life from petty motives instead.

Anonymous Fri Mar 16 02:34:19 2018 No.10849082

I'm tired but too apprehensive (that's a good one) to actually sleep. God, I hate mornings. The death of Stalin was a pretty good movie but you'd have to be familiar with the shitstorm that was Soviet """""""logic""""" to actually recognize that the dialogue was humorous, and not just a bunch of old guys using circular logic and having surprisingly long and detailed memories of conversations.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 16 08:54:09 2018 No.10849737 every day I go on facebook and get triggered as fuck seeing how I'm 10 years behind everyone in every single aspect, struggle with basic shit and general misery and pain

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 16 11:11:26 2018 No.10850143 these threads either they inspire me or make me feel less alone thank you /lit/

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 16 11:31:37 2018 No.10850211 >>10848565 Lovely. Do you have more Pokémon fiction?

Anonymous Fri Mar 16 11:37:14 2018 No.10850238
File: 3.47 MB, 320x240, output_Eaiqvb.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Feel kinda like an idiot, trying to stay sober today because tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day and I'll be drinking pretty heavily then anyways. It was just a simple mistake, yet for some reason I feel as though my day was turned upside-down so now I find myself stressed for seemingly no reason and the stress makes me want to drink. To be fair, I've been doing REALLY good both in terms of cutting down this month as well as in making good money from my writings (About $225 so far this month). It'd be nice if I could stay sober today but it's looking doubtful. I'll undoubtedly still be able to get wasted tomorrow too. Hydrating myself thoroughly in preparation of possible liver-pickling.

Anonymous Fri Mar 16 12:01:06 2018 No.10850318

I wish the fucking Keats collection would fucking arrive but noooooooooooooo thanks fucking Amazon prime sooo good thanks Jeff so fucking efficient "1 day delivery" that takes 8 fucking days 19 eurocoins for this fucking trash shit meme fucking garbage Amazon slaveholder corporate overlord multibillionarie who CAN'T EVEN DELIVER ORDERS IN TIME fucking retaeded ]]]Jew[[[ piece of ""human"" trash retarded niggerkike who eats african babies during his daily brunch with his fellow reptilians from the planet GAYFAGGOT 9000

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 16 13:03:50 2018 No.10850609 File: 3.89 MB, 431x236, When you realize what she actually meant.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] This

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 16 14:33:06 2018 No.10851013 >>10850609 it's incredible how useful this gif is

Anonymous Fri Mar 16 14:43:35 2018 No.10851054

>>10848538
>Freud's understanding of the uncanny
Nigga read what he fucking said. Then come back here and post your face when you realize that his understanding is best diagrammed by that Jaden Smith eyes meme. A mountain diagram demonstrates the resolve it's taken me to not call you a literal motherfucker yet.

Anonymous Fri Mar 16 17:39:25 2018 No.10851873

>>10837822
he's talking about the weekday vs weekend and how society has trained us to be content to have 2 days a week off to be happy and to continue slogging through a meaningless existence the other 5 days a week in order to keep the wheels of capitalism turning.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 16 18:11:15 2018 No.10851996 >>10844244 Not to me, I don't enjoy anything.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 16 18:59:46 2018 No.10852166 The Fermi paradox is ruining my life

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 16 19:07:37 2018 No.10852184 >>10852166 We're alone.

Anonymous Fri Mar 16 20:07:54 2018 No.10852421

Vontade de meter.
Estou há dois dias gigantescos sem me masturbar e assistir pornografia, e a vontade só aumenta. Eu queria fornicar um viadinho branco do cabelo liso-oleoso bem gostosinho, comer seu cuzinho virgem-róseo, alimentar suas nádegas pálidas com minha glande, e depois de muito espancar seus quadris de adolescente sapeca colocá-lo para quicar no meu caralho virgem de catorze centímetros e lamber e morder os mamilos docinhos com gosto de mel. E então decidiríamos se ejaculo nas solas dos pezinhos afeminados ou então na boquinha tenra ou talvez dentro dele e assim quem sabe viria um filhinho daqui nove meses. Por fim nós dois juntinhos sobre o lençol branco amarrotado, meu viadinho todo suado e pegajoso lendo um epigrama de Marcial enquanto eu brinco com aquele caralinho murcho feio flor arrancada do jardim, todo enrugado e cansadinho e eu passando meus dedos pela cabecinha ruborizada. E então esta seria a sexta perfeita.

Ser virgem é uma tristeza e entrar numa sala repleta de machos e saber que, naquele ambiente quadrado e pesado, tu és o menos homem e mais inexperiente e portanto é impossível que tal sensação ou percepção deixe de exalar do teu rosto e trejeitos e atitudes; todo mundo sabe que sua rola nunca subjugou outrem.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 16 20:10:59 2018 No.10852431 >>10852166 Do you also stress out about alternate timelines? Plebeian

Anonymous Fri Mar 16 23:27:03 2018 No.10853181

this laptop gives me a headache and makes me feel retarded, also its weird but i'm just not horny lately, i fap once a week max not because of nofap but because i just dont feel like it, i fapped like 3 days ago just because i had some privacy so i whipped it out and had a stroke but i wasnt really into it, its springtime i should be horny as hell rn but its just not happening

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 16 23:29:26 2018 No.10853191 AUTO SAGE

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 16 23:38:16 2018 No.10853224 >>10853191 make a new thread bro so we can bitch about shit

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/lit/ - Literature