/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.1081057]

what do you think

Murderous vegetarians,
Preach teachings of arians,
Killing in the name,
Suicides for honor and fame,
Who takes the blame,
When there’s no one to ask,
No one who’s tame,
I say it’s part of the game,
But it’s changing,
I know that it’s never the same,
Never again,
Will you listen if I tell you that you have to remain sane
If you plan to compete,
Plan to be treated, as one of the best,
Not one of the rest, one of the mob with a
The job that’s killing you,
Squeezing your veins ‘till there’s no
blood left in you,
You know it’s true,
Don’t fight the current,
When you don’t know,
where it will go, what it will show,
The possibilities have me aglow,
‘Cause I’m stranded,
Life locked down,
Surrounded by people who drown
in their own misery, that flows from a fountain
that poisons our water,
Kills sons and daughters,
Just like lambs to the slaughter.
And it kills me,
To watch our fate, and it fills me with hate,
At the world that would close all the gates
and shut us in half sedated,
Our minds have been closed,
Our ideas berated, till we sit in solitude,
Cursed with pure inaptitude,
And lacking the attitude to break free,
To find the key,
Because the lives that we lead are led,
By murderous vegetarians,
Hypocritical barbarians,
Authoritarians who tangle us up,
In there twisted thoughts,
Till we get lost,
Unable to undo the knots.

[Special Agent Dale !CoOperRA66 No.1081068]

I hate your rhyme scheme.

[Anonymous No.1081069]

This is that free rhyme nigger poetry that's neither here nor there. It's shit

[Anonymous No.1081071]

The rhyme feels a bit forced throughout some of the poem.
>>"where it will go, what it will show,
>>The possibilities have me aglow,"
This especially.

>>Our ideas berated, till we sit in solitude,
>>Cursed with pure inaptitude,
>>And lacking the attitude to break free,
>>To find the key,
I liked this part. It seems like all the lines here had a place, and you weren't trying to add things in just because they rhymed.

That's all I've got.