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/lit/ - Literature

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File: 110 KB, 634x896, richard-neave-jesus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10606408 No.10606408 [Reply] [Original]

>>The men who followed him, knew him and wrote about him never describe his physical appearance

>Suspicion mounts

>> No.10606414

>>10606408
he was middle eastern nibba
but people always want to portray Jesus in a way that's familiar to them, it's why you'll see nigJesus in Africa, honkieJesus in Europe, chinkJesus in Mongolia, gookJesus in the Philippines, but he was definitely middle eastern if he existed irl

>> No.10606421

>>10606414
Still, its fairly odd that no one ever even thinks to describe him. Its a pretty common, sensible thing to do when writing about someone you knew desu.

Hmmm..

>> No.10606490

>>10606421
There are other people in the Bible that we know existed who are not physically described

>> No.10606498
File: 134 KB, 1200x1200, socrates-9488126-1-402.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10606498

>>10606408
is this some sort of new meme i missed?
>>The men who followed him, knew him and wrote about him never describe his physical appearance

>Suspicion mounts

>> No.10606502
File: 44 KB, 300x300, unnamed.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10606502

>>The men who followed him, knew him and wrote about him never describe his physical appearance

>Suspicion mounts

>> No.10606520
File: 109 KB, 540x960, 1480911474989.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10606520

>>The men who followed him, knew him and wrote about him never describe his physical appearance

>Suspicion mounts

>> No.10606555

>>10606421
>Its a pretty common, sensible thing to do when writing about someone you knew
>writing about someone you knew

the gospels are anonymous works to which names were assigned by later tradition. their authors were not the same people as the certainly illiterate disciples of christ.

>> No.10606576

>>10606421
>>10606408
The only time I can remember any classical source describing the physique of a historical figure is Homer, and that's just for genetic freaks like Telemachus. And the Bible, I guess, also when describing large humans or a critical story element (Samson's hair).

>> No.10606578

>>10606555
"now Avraham, be sure to mention Jesus Christ had a MASSIVE zit right between his eyes.... seriously that thing is huge."

"ok."

"Are you including it???? it was like bright red with pus about to come out, it was really gross, people have to know this, it's like the will of G-d was keeping it from bursting."

"yeah I'm writing it"

"are you??? please tell me you are actually writing it"

"yes, yissachar, it totally is."

"also be sure to mention that he had the most FUCKABLE bubble butt ever seen by man. you have to make sure to add that in too otherwise his gospels don't have the right context."

".... whatever you say..."

>> No.10606586

>>10606498
Socrates gets a good description in Symphosium though.

>> No.10606589

>>10606586
anyone has the quote of this? i think he called him an ugly fuck, but not sure if he went into more detail

>> No.10606592

>>10606421
he was invisible

>> No.10606600

>>10606578
at least the knowledge that jc liked young boys has been preserved thanks to the mar saba letter

>> No.10606699

>>10606408
He was white, like Nassim Nicholas Taleb

>> No.10606843

>>10606699
>white
No such thing.

>> No.10606914

>>10606421
When these men spoke the Gospel—later it was written—they were speaking/writing to crowds that were contemporaries of Jesus. Many have heard of what He looked like. Many actually knew what He looked like. So it would make sense that these orators and authors wouldn't really touch on Jesus' physical appearance for the sake of a observational, scientific description of His appearance. The transfiguration describes how He looks, but the point of doing this is to let listeners and readers know that Jesus revealed His true identity, true divinity to the disciples; in other words, this physical description was not for the sake of describing what He looked like.

There's like a specific historical research term for this. It's under the same umbrella as the criteria of embarrassment. Nevertheless, you see why that makes sense?

>> No.10607056

>>10606914
Also, why would you write about a friend's appearance simply because you knew him well? Have you written things about friends or people in general? Did you describe their physical appearances? Probably not huh?

There's no good reason to always describe how someone looks indefinitely just because you know them and you're writing about them lol

>> No.10607059

>>10606408
The authors of the gospels did not know him...

>> No.10607060

>>10606408
We don't have writings of people who knew him personally

>> No.10607068

we all know it was KISS make up. it wasn't even gene's make up. we know which one. that's why we all agreed to never talk about it or juggalos again.

>> No.10607245

>>10606589
He had a big nose like a pickle. Ol' Socky Pickle Nose. Why I'd boop that humongous honker all the time if he ever came 'round these parts.

>> No.10607299

>>10606600
is that true fellas?

>> No.10607312

>>10606589
>why Socrates what nice chanclas you have

>> No.10607322

>>10607312
>nice shoes faggot

>> No.10607341

>>10607056
My friends don't claim to be sons of god.

>> No.10607387

>>10606421
None of the 12 Apostles are described at all afaik. Fun fact: although they often portrayed as bearded old men most of them were likely little older than teenagers when following Jesus.

>> No.10607629 [DELETED] 
File: 26 KB, 629x325, who.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10607629

>> No.10607635

>>10606408
>Jesus was a past life of Zizek

>> No.10607661

>>10607341
neither did the historical christ

>> No.10607676

>>10607299
you decide

>And straightway, going in where the youth was, he stretched forth his hand and raised him, seizing his hand. But the youth, looking upon him, loved him and began to beseech him that he might be with him. And going out of the tomb they came into the house of the youth, for he was rich. And after six days Jesus told him what to do and in the evening the youth comes to him, wearing a linen cloth over his naked body. And he remained with him that night, for Jesus taught him the mystery of the kingdom of God.

>> No.10607723

>>10607299
It’s a fake literally written in the 20th Century.

>> No.10607732

>>10606408
Does prophesy count? Issah 53:2 says,
>He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him.
So... he looked like any other Mediterranean Jewish guy.

>Looking at it, a lot of his allegories are about stone.
and he may have been a stone worker.

>> No.10607822

>>10606576
It's also true in medieval texts, I've noticed. People are only described if there's something very off about them - being super short or tall or having some noticeable characteristic.

>> No.10607839

>>10607341
try harder anon,
see
>>10607661

>> No.10608309

>>10606498
>>10606502
>>10606520
No, pls stop. I do not want to be an accessory to a shitty meme.

>> No.10608327

>>10606408

>decide never to record anything Jesus says in his original Aramaic

Why is this?

>> No.10608332

>>10608327
Because he didn't exist, lmao.

>> No.10609183

>>10606408
>see a man heal hundreds of people, walk on the water, raise the dead, tell you hes gonna die and raise from the dead because he's your friend, die, raise from the dead
>you dedicate the rest of your life to spreading his message and literally die for it
>people don't believe you because you didn't take a portrait of his face when he told you not to tell anyone he was the Son of God
tough crowd eh?

>> No.10609190

>>10607676
hot

>> No.10609202

>>10608327
he spoke greek and everyone was super pissed at him bc they couldnt understand and just guessed what he said

>> No.10609230
File: 48 KB, 2000x2000, PS2738.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10609230

>>10609183
>interpreting the Bible literally

You are the reason christianity is on it's last breath.

>> No.10609240

>>10609202
calm down Wagner; stick to writing symphonies

>> No.10609241

>>10609202
>jews not understanding greek

>> No.10609242

there is no such thing as "middle eastern ethnicity", there's a ton of ethnic groups in that region, and why would jesus look like an arab when arabs didnt spread outside their backwater peninsula till after the islamic invasions

>> No.10609282

>>10609242
jesus was a levanite ethnically

>> No.10609324

>>10609241
I got told earlier I couldn't be a Jew bc I am a tranny and I am very depressed right now.
I definitely know if I cannot be a Jew I might as well just kill myself because I feel no attachment to any other religion.
Most painless way to do it? I've been drinking a lot because I'm pathetic.

>> No.10609346

>>10609282
jesus was a black lesbian jew from uganda

>> No.10609415
File: 62 KB, 462x683, gotos1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10609415

You're Jesus. He's just another form of the light.

Everyone can reach it.

>> No.10609428
File: 408 KB, 578x483, taleb muh heritage.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10609428

>>10606414
There is no "middle eastern". They were mutts long before the Americans.

>> No.10609434

>Psh...you guys hear of this bullshit called The Great Gatsby!
>Everybody says it's the greatest story ever, and it reveals a lot about humanity, but guess what?
>IT'S NOT FUCKING REAL! THE WHOLE GODDAMN BOOK WAS MADE IT!
>Therefore it's meaningless. *tips hat*

>> No.10609482

>>10609428
nigga

>> No.10609495

>>10609434
You are not as intelligent as you think you are.

>> No.10609504
File: 91 KB, 736x551, whathappenedtotheapostles.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10609504

>>10609230
your a idiot

>> No.10609530

>>10608327
Greek was lingua franca there

>> No.10609531

>>10609504
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8TOxldm6kk
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religiosity_and_intelligence
http://www.debunking-christianity.com/2010/08/top-seven-ways-christianity-is-debunked.html

>> No.10609549

>>10609504
>almost all in italy
really makes a nibba think

>> No.10609559

>>10609282
But the levantines were phonecians, greeks, arabs, egyptians, anatolians and mesopotamians and assorted rape babbies all at the same time

>> No.10609712
File: 33 KB, 446x570, 1512179468304.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10609712

>>10607676
typical kike

>> No.10609718

>>10609324
pills

>> No.10609750

>>10606589
There's one dialogue that mentions he was a soldier, and the Symposium notes that he's ugly but fuckable (thanks Alcibiades). I haven't got the quotes tho, sorry.

>> No.10609798

>>10609718
toda raba

>> No.10610127

>>10609346
he knew de wey

>> No.10610139

>>10606408
Back to plebbit

>> No.10610182

>>10609282
he was a carpenter in the levant under roman rule. probably malnourished, over worked, and brown.

>> No.10610288
File: 32 KB, 320x320, Black jesus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10610288

>>10606408

>> No.10610320
File: 72 KB, 680x1005, Jesus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10610320

>>10610182
I mean yeah, basically

>> No.10610401

>>10606414
You see all those variations of Jesus because the Catholic church used to make Jesus look like whatever people they were trying to convert. Maybe read a book sometime.

>> No.10611561
File: 56 KB, 403x450, ijhgiuhsgjkdfhgj.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10611561

>>10610401
>people want Jesus (someone they worship) to look familiar to them
>no you fucking retard the church knows people want Jesus to look familiar to them

>> No.10611983
File: 219 KB, 1024x1280, Sileno (Museo del Louvre).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10611983

>>10606589
Alcibiades called him a statue of Silenus, pic related. Of course, this speech goes a lot deeper if you consider that Silenus taught Dionysus, and Alcibiades was both dressed like and made to appear like Dionysus.

>> No.10611994

>>10607245
I giggl'd.

>> No.10611997

>>10611983
>picking fat bearded Dionysus over cute twink Dionysus
absolutely disgusting

>> No.10612032

>>10611997
what. that's silenus, not dionysus.

>> No.10612036

>>10606414
What about mexican jesus? Does exist?

>> No.10612042

>>10609324
Agatha?

>> No.10612061

>>10606502
Knuckles resembles a human, but with differences. Knuckles is neither male nor female, though referred to as a "he". Three-quarter-inch-thick-violet-colored (FFA000E0) fur covers his entire body. he is only 25 1/3 inches tall, 4 inches wide, and 2.5 inches deep. Knuckles gets his name from his large hands, 40% bigger than a human his size would have. A reflective, glittery greenish (FFA0FF00) haze a half millimeter across borders his pupil. Knuckles has no nose and a mouth 2/3 as big. Every other aspect of his is that of hat a human would have for his size. For details on the numerical colors (in parenthesis), see appendix 5.

>> No.10612071

>lol some of us even doubt he even existed but here's how he would have looked
>suck it Christians!

>> No.10612086
File: 25 KB, 370x288, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10612086

>>10608327
hurr

>> No.10612093

>>10609504
Paul wasn't an apostle, what are you on about?

>> No.10612126
File: 40 KB, 387x298, aztecgodcross1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10612126

>>10612036
I'm pretty sure aztecs did make some religious art in their style when they were being converted

>> No.10612291
File: 103 KB, 200x267, san_juan_bautista.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10612291

>>10609504
>the chad St. John
>the virgin rest of the fellowship

>> No.10612515

>>10607676
so that's what they mean with all that "the kingdom of god is inside you" stuff

>> No.10612539

>>10609718
what kind of pills?

>> No.10612578

>current year
>still believing Jesus is God
>still believing he ever claimed to be God
>still believing in the Trinity
>still being a pagan

>> No.10612582

Well maybe they weren't superficial assholes like you.

>> No.10612600

>>10606408
didn't they all believe that they were living in the end of days? what would be the point of describing his physical appearance?

>> No.10612622

>>10612578
Arius pls go

>> No.10612642

>>10612622
More like Marion or the gnostics desu

>> No.10612717

>>10612036
Not jesus but virgin Mary. "La virgen de Guadalupe"

>> No.10612745

>>10612600
exactly. they expected everyone reading the gospels to actually see him at the second coming.

>> No.10613352

reminder that Jesús was Sócrates' reencarnation

>> No.10613688

>>10606414
Actually it is european Jesus everywhere in the world

>> No.10614116

Who the fuck cares.

>> No.10614406

>>10613688
it literally isn't you faggot

>> No.10614677

>>10606414
middle east was white back then, conquered by the greeks, not as arab
just look at assad today

>> No.10614684

>>10608309
Then why did you write one?

>> No.10614865

>>10614684
Memes were not my intent.

>> No.10616241

>>10609530
no, actual lingua franca was lingua franca there, brainlet. and he still would have spoken aramaic with his fellow judeans.

>> No.10616253

>>10606421
Biblical historylet

>> No.10616499

>>10606408
Paul described Jesus as physically unremarkable.

>> No.10616509

>>10614677
you're so fucking stupid