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/lit/ - Literature

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10575353 No.10575353 [Reply] [Original]

>The rosemary bushes trembled against a cold sea breeze. The lavender had been blown over and stamped down by the rain. Across the street, an old man with a grey beard limped towards the supermarket. He didn't notice me. The whole day was grey. It had rained and then the rain had stopped and left everything dark and muted. The only birds that called were crows.

>> No.10575907
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10575907

>>10575353
Rain doesn't "stamp down" lavender. And most importantly don't write in first person if you're playing poetic narrator: people will put up with that shit from a basic narrator, but not from a character's thoughts.

>> No.10575931
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10575931

>>10575353

>That picture
>meme-tier simplifications

Hold it right there!

>> No.10575967

>>10575907
Oh shit, we got an expert on books in the house!