Write What's on Your Mind

[Anonymous No.10501123]

what's on your mind, anon?

new thread, last one bump limit

[Anonymous No.10501127]

How does one sit back and see people trample upon everything you hold dear? How does one look upon all the people making so man mistakes, going down alienating avenues that only hold persecution complexes and rabid narcissism? The art scene is just a rotating cast of vapid idiots, in their awful shawls and unique earrings, bashing motifs done to absolute death, producing whack poetry in which they personify the sun, with no semblance of melody, for tens of pages; all this self-published wank that brings the stock down on all of us taking it to heart. None of them have passion. They just the image, the identity, some Warholian fabrication of vogue assholery. I feel so alone in this town. They say the midwest is the source, that it holds the soul of this North American experiment, and I'm beginning to feel like I understand; it's like a circular current—hoards of hopefuls leave, the lucky maintain their coastal lifestyles and scoff at their former home, then the discarded return to their parents, their source, back to school or a menial job, shovelling snow and gnashing at the cold. Yup, the source of it all, anything worth writing about. I need to move back to Vancouver. Why did you drag me here?

[Anonymous No.10501130]

>>10501127
many*

crimony, phone-posting with sweaty fingers

[Anonymous No.10501353]

>>10501127
Source of this text?

[Anonymous No.10501361]

>>10501127
Also I recommend this video, which I just watched for the first time:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MRJIo_sQCw

[Anonymous No.10501565]

>>10501353
I just wrote it.

There are people on here who can actually write btw. We mostly lurk and grief over what this board has become.

[Anonymous No.10501575]

>>10501565
grieve **

fucking phone

[Anonymous No.10501902]

how do animals know they are supposed to drink water

[Anonymous No.10501908]

>>10501902
instinct, and tradition passed on from generations, the youth watching the elders, the youth becoming elders, the new youth watching the new elders

[Anonymous No.10501910]

>>10501902
They thirsty biches

[Anonymous No.10501914]

I really wonder if all my sorrows are due to being a virgin...too bad I'll never find out, probably.

[Anonymous No.10501916]

>>10501908
the second one is more believable. But for someone who would claim 'instinct':

Inside the animals mind is there language, a voice, or a visual tutorial of a running river being lapped by a tongue? What is the meaning of this word instinct?

[Anonymous No.10501922]

>>10501908
>>10501916
is it the cells, chant a chorus "we need that fundamental pure smooth shit my negi"
is there something about water: an animal comes across a puddle or pond and the water itself says as designed by God "look around, I am like nothing else, I am pure and simple and smooth, put me inside of you" telepathically into the animals head?

[Anonymous No.10501939]

>>10501123
That tiny writing in the pic says very little of anything meaningful. I would never put this on my facebook. Otherwise the template is good.

Anons, we can fix this meme.

[Anonymous No.10501945]

>>10501939
idk man
i felt the anger and complete despair at being able to do nothing in it

are you still in college or something? lmao

[Anonymous No.10501954]

>>10501914
You're better off keeping your purity; sex is unsatisfying if not with someone you love. I haven't fell in love with a girl in years.

Luckily, i found God. Now i scoff at any form of sense gratiffication

[Anonymous No.10501955]

>>10501939
>has facebook

never gonna make it

[Anonymous No.10501975]

>>10501955
i stared at this on shrooms once

kind of horrifying/calming

[Anonymous No.10502012]

>>10501565
Lmao don't fool yourself asshole, you're probably just a leftist anyway.

[Anonymous No.10502028]

>>10501955
Literally it's required for my job. Not that I'm ashamed of having one. There are people I like to stay in contact with.

[Anonymous No.10502042]

>>10502012
not a leftist by any means lmao

why are you so angry? people are gonna want to read my >muh internet is making me so lonely than yours?

[Anonymous No.10502046]

>>10501123
i wanted to be an astronaut and go to the moon and there's a girl and she's like the moon but it's too late for me to ever be an astronaut

[Anonymous No.10502059]

Thinking about 4chan, and you, yes you, Anon.

"Your hands remain gelid, damp, as you immersed them in your ill-scented shorts for another round of carnal self-punishment; filthy animal, lighted blue by a monitor, chained to the chair in some self-defeating manner—no effort from you, ever? That much is obvious.
Flake off another indignation from those memories of high school. You've let them hold a lease in their for a while now, these sordid squatters come in moments of, strange enough, pride, and put you back in your place. Head on to /gif/ to release that tension, then to /pol/ to keep up. /x/'ll humour your thin hopes for something unseen just beyond the mundane calibrations of those mistreated eyes.
How has it that these images sapped so much of your time? You learn very little from the people here. Someway it needs to come out though... Oh how they play on you so much, deny you their love, their companionship, the careless laughs that emerge to those liked enough to deserve them; all a game now, it seems, and you've really hardened your heart with that cynicism you so desperately need to keep these images from hurting you. It's never been harder than it is now.
You're a catalogue now of the ways humanity wrongs each other; a catalogue of all our innate imperfections, the ego's eternal plight, the lonely child wanting to be coddled by all willing arms, and you roll your eyes and scoff your empty scoff at those just as confused.
The book, when laid up, askewed, is such a fancy phallic symbol. "

[Anonymous No.10502202]

All YA is commissioned by The Dark Government as an evil plot to keep the masses dumb

[Anonymous No.10502209]

>>10501954
>You're better off keeping your purity
a vagina up and down on a cock until it spurts isnt some 'loss of purity'

[Anonymous No.10502211]

>>10502209
Mental purity.

[Anonymous No.10502290]

>>10501123
I just keep smoking and smoking and smoking. I think a lot about how I never wanted to be like my alcoholic dad and here I am. Indulging in excess on a chemical that I know will hurt my already feeble mind. I barely can keep focus on anything anymore.

I am nothing but a leech and pretender who can not even hold down a regular 9-5 job. I did not pay attention in school. I focus all my cards on love and it is clear I won't be able to do anything worthwhile in my life. I think about Stoner from time to time.

I have no talents. I wasted the time I had to develop them running away into virtual realms. All I have is empathy, love. respect, admiration, and time.

So here I am. Off the map finally. I finally got away to learn I never could have left. Now I'm stuck in limbo and I don't know what to do. I wish I knew proper grammar. I wish I had a bigger vocabulary. I want to help others but I barely function. I'm so sorry. I would do anything, take any form, to stop the pain in everyone's heart. I'm sorry I sit here thinking if I just keep typing and typing things will improve. Ha. Kaizen. What a joke.

I was barely cognizant before but I know the reality is nothing has changed. Now I just feel worse. Now I understand how long I have been dead for.

I love anons. From one big pretentious pseudo brainlet. Please don't hate yourself. Please take care of yourself. And if you can do me a favor. Shoot me.

[Anonymous No.10502296]

>>10502211
in what way? In a once you pop you wont want the fun to stop? In a, once you try this drug you will be addicted and its all you will want and think about? Maybe, maybe, but it seems this person in question already is overwhelmed by the topic, and there is a good chance the person in question has jerked before

[Anonymous No.10502339]

>>10501123
This fucking dumbass spend 10+ years in the woods looking for Bigfoot and doesn't have jack shit to show for it. After a decade of time wasted in the woods with nothing but audio of rustling bushes and videos of you riding around on your ridiculous little amphibious compensation mobile, you have to either be incredibly stupid or dick deep in denial to still, to this DAY be fucking about out there.

[Anonymous No.10502346]

>>10501954
>Luckily, i found God. Now i scoff at any form of sense gratiffication

[Anonymous No.10502352]

>>10502290
Hey dude, smoking is one of the easiest bad habits to quit. Nice painting, have one too.

[Anonymous No.10502371]

>>10502290
Quit smoking, go get a job and start community college.
Speaking as an ex-alcoholic who used to feel almost exactly the same way, I can feel your words on a deeply personal level. The truth is that while we may never change the world, we can change ourselves, fighting yourself is at its core, the fundamental reason for living.

Don't despair at your addiction, rejoice at the mountain you have to climb.

> I did not pay attention in school.

Me either, I now have my bachelors in English.

>I have no talents.
Me either, but we both have time to improve. However little self-improvement you can manage needs to become your meaning, hell if your lack of self-improvement is bothering you this much it already is. Do what you can while you can.

“O my soul, do not aspire to immortal life, but exhaust the limits of the possible.”
>So here I am. Off the map finally. I finally got away to learn I never could have left. Now I'm stuck in limbo and I don't know what to do. I wish I knew proper grammar. I wish I had a bigger vocabulary. I want to help others but I barely function. I'm so sorry. I would do anything, take any form, to stop the pain in everyone's heart. I'm sorry I sit here thinking if I just keep typing and typing things will improve. Ha. Kaizen. What a joke.

If you're really willing to do anything, do as I said and stop fucking smoking, go get a job and start saving, go to college. Community college, while not exactly prestigious is much more than most people can brag and its eons more than you yourself can. The only things holding you back are the thought that you can't, and your choice to not.

[Anonymous No.10502392]

>>10502352
Yea weed is a pretty easy thing to quit, and the bottom line is that you can either stop and improve or keep smoking and don't. Whatever you do, don't feel sorry for yourself and act as if that somehow makes your choices better.

[Anonymous No.10502398]

>>10501954
Man, I've never seen a neckbeard Christian. Mostly because a sense of self-righteousness is antithetical to Christianity but hey that doesn't stop the Catholics.

[Anonymous No.10502414]

>>10501954
As a human, you have no purity. Even lusting after a woman is on par with having sex with her in your heart. While virginity should be something to be cherished, there is the aspect of choice and I mean let's face it, im pretty sure your virginity is someone else's choice.

[Anonymous No.10502581]

>>10502398
I'm not christian.

[Anonymous No.10502592]

>>10502398
>a sense of self-righteousness is antithetical to Christianity
sbrofl

[Anonymous No.10502717]

>>10501914
I've slept with several girls and am also married. All in all I consider myself pretty lucky. But I'm still resentful, both with my life and the world at large. I used to be naive, hopeful, motivated, and passionate about everything I studied and did. I used to be a dreamer but after I finally got what I (thought I) wanted I realized I've invested all my time into becoming just another wageslave cog in the system. Sure I have a degree from a pretty prestigious university, and some solid accomplishments under my belt, but I have no inner satisfaction, no sense of fulfillment, no sense of meaning from what I've done.

There are lots of people here who are social outcasts and resentful people, no doubt about it, but I'm convinced it's correlation, not causation. After all, it takes being depressed and disillusioned with society to see past all the vapid elements of our capitalist society, all the bread and circuses and consumerism that rid people of their ambitions and initiatives.

[Anonymous No.10502738]

I don't mean to be an edgy LARPer but am I the only one who wishes I was born sometime in the past? I hate living in the end of history, and no I don't mean the democratic end of history but the capitalist end of history. Politics is theatre, our politicians are no longer bold visionaries, they are just managers. All their powers have been ceded to the financial institutions, the bureaucracy, and the elites whose special interests and lobbyists maintain stability at all costs. Nothing ever changes, our capitalist system just trudges along. I feel like we're living for nothing, all the traditional structures of society have been torn down and there's no point in being an intellectual or pursuing self-improvement. I wish I could've been born in an era where I had something to care and fight for.

Then again, I feel like all the sacrifices of great men, who actually fought for what they believed in, have been for null. So maybe it doesn't matter in the end.

[Anonymous No.10503043]

>>10502738
I threw up a little reading this

[Anonymous No.10503055]

Is a pipe really a pipe or is it just a representation of itself in the third dimension?

[Anonymous No.10503072]

In the past two years I've managed to put away the majority of my self-destructive and insecure habits developed in my unstable and unnurturing teenage years, and I feel much more at ease with myself than I have at any point in my life despite having openly failed to begin any of the steps towards a 'successful' life.
I've dropped out of University I had no means of paying for after less than a year, have held a retail job with minimal bills allowing me to live comfortably and save a good bit of money up and am now looking to move out of the toxic household I grew up in and move on with my life while also continuing my education on my own accord, and likely through community college if and when I need a degree for financial reasons.

I'm just posting this because its refreshing to put those events into a context for me, it gives me some motivation to continue which I've sorely lacked the entirety of my adult life.

[Anonymous No.10503089]

I feel like I am way too ambitious for my own good. Maybe I'm just insecure, I don't really know. Like, get a load of this. I had the idea of making a comic, but without art. Although that may not the best description of it, maybe something more apt would be like, prose dressed up as a comic. Silly right? Well I'm working on it, I swear to god you shits better not steal my idea. Ha, I guess that's another insecurity of mine as well, I hate the thought of someone stealing my ideas, scares the hell out of me. I'd probably hesistate to share my ideas in front of my own father in fear that he'd steal my ideas. Anyways, I don't know what I'm doing. I've never even finished a proper short story and I'm trying to do this silly, avant-garde-ish, format screw. Although I do quite like my story idea. To bash in the same theme over and over again, let me say another time that maybe I'm just flying too close to the sun. Ambitiousness is a gift and a curse. It doesn't help much that I pretty much give up on ideas when I hit a roadblock, although I'm really clinging on to dear life for this one. Really just, clinching my nails in deep here. Well, I don't know if this rant has really got me anywhere, but I'd like to here what yoy guys have to say. Thanks for reading.

[Anonymous No.10503098]

>>10503072
That was nice anon I hope to do the same
It's hard developing a drug habit at 15, I don't know of a time when I was sober, and that is certainly the first step to anything right now. Oddly enough there really aren't many books for this feel.

[Anonymous No.10503136]

published my first book couple months ago, parents and wife were the only ones who bought a copy. depressing but not unexpected given my luck with creative works that i've done that never get noticed. hate having to use uber to make a living, but it reminds me of why i have to keep writing. i live in california and i cant get a job with my useless english degree otherwise. i have to keep writing. i'm so tired.

[Anonymous No.10503176]

I don't even wanna know why anymore. My only clear objective and goal since it all started was not to do this. Not to do it again, yet here I am shutting everything out, keeping it all in. Wavering in uncertainty and indecisiveness.
I'll take these days as my chance to reflect on everything, to put new goals and to make plans.
The thing is, if anything goes wrong, if even the smallest detail doesn't go as I thought it'd go, I'll quiver again. I'll do it once again.
Should I think ahead every detail so as to not forget any possible outcome? Should I stop putting goals altogether? I need to stop doing this, that was my only clear objective and goal since it all started.
I'm sure this silence will be over in a couple of days (if it lasts more than a week from now I'll definitely drop it all).

[Anonymous No.10503224]

just found out that i am going to have to have a massive arguement that i will probably lose and result in me being absolutely fucked for the next year or so

[Anonymous No.10503236]

>>10501127

This inspired me. Don't stop writing my friend.

[Anonymous No.10503242]

>>10503224
sorry to hear. but exactly what kind of planned argument is that severe?

[Anonymous No.10503244]

Advent

[Anonymous No.10503251]

>>10503136
Don't want to work in publishing or teach? The most beautiful thing a writer can pass on is a love of writing.

Also congrats! Want to send a link where we can buy?

[Anonymous No.10503269]

As much as it can be annoying to read on here that any sincere question is invalid because the information that is needed can be gained from your own reading and thinking about books, I'm starting to agree with the sentiment. Telling people to practice thinking should be memed here, especially in regards to depressed anxious people who have as of yet to gain control of their emotions because they have yet to think about what bothers. This sentiment of knowing yourself is lost on most of these people because their self knowledge only comes to them by experience or emotion and most believe knowing themselves is just a rehash of these collected experiences and emotions. These are not you though, nor is your thoughts about who you are a complete description of yourself. Thinking for yourself and to know yourself requires attention not only to these aspects of how you know yourself, but also requires that you understand different methods of thinking. Epictetus' method of inquiry like most other ancient philosophers can be applied once it has been internalised, but it will not teach you about the harm of unconscious fears or why you remunerate on comparisons. The sentiment to think for yourself here is expressed wisely, yet it's second hand wisdom from those who likely know you will also need to remove yourself from this sphere to get what is really needed to live in contemporary society.

[Anonymous No.10503498]

A world without alcohol.

[Anonymous No.10503517]

My mother was always critical of my father,, critical of all, which I had always assumed was her flaw, as her words carved and wittled him down into a statuesque ruin. Now that my wrinkled frown resembles his sad smile, I feel I understand far less than I did in my younger days.

[Anonymous No.10503541]

>>10501123
Man, I would do anything to be a better writer.

I've been at this for about 2 years now and I've only finished a handful of short stories. I actually posted one on a story sharing board and it met with some pretty decent success. That's it though. I have so many ideas I want to share, I want to inspire people, anyone, even a single person will be enough for me. The only problem is that I can't fucking sit down and write for more than 30 minutes. I have this stupid dream of finishing and publishing a book one day, maybe a novella, I don't care. Even if I have to self-publish. Even if it's trash As long as I can hold my work in my hands one day and look over at my bookshelf to see it up there.

Pretty sure I won't make it but I'm not going to stop.

[Anonymous No.10503657]

>>10503498
How about a world without any mind-altering substances? Drugs dont exist, alcohol doesnt exist, mankind as a whole is always sober forever and theres nothing anyone can do to turn off their brain.

Imagine it

[Anonymous No.10503819]

>>10501123
>new thread, last one bump limit
You don't have to state this every time, newfriend. These threads are regular.

[Anonymous No.10504910]

A lot of self pity.
My only interests are the arts, a saturated market only the brave or foolish enter. I am neither, and I will most likely spend the rest of my life working shit jobs I hate and getting drunk every day to medicate.

[Anonymous No.10504974]

>>10501123
A peculiar thing. It is unlike any company I have ever had in the real world. It sits with me on a piece of a slightly damp piece of mouldering wood. We have finally hunted down our prey, after an afternoon spent in the forest. It is in the shape of a man, but not human, wild, but noble. Under a simple and indistinct garment, its skin has a rough texture of natural durability and health, and it moves fluidly but toweringly. Some would be terrified, but I have dreamt this too many times. I know how it thinks: it does not dedicate it's body to the mind. There is a silence of focus infused into its ceaseless activity. Many a time it finds beautiful plants or rocks, or lush streams or clearings when stalking, and passes them by, having noticed but not paused. It appreciates without studying, as it's accepted me with the lack of suspicion of someone too aware at all times to fear treachery. I find my freedom in its eyes, and, when together, people avoid us one like the other.

[Anonymous No.10505038]

>>10503176
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPVYySjLQlc

[Anonymous No.10505077]

>>10501123
humans are the ultimate limited referential ideal

[Anonymous No.10505088]

I wonder if lit has a waifu

[Anonymous No.10505140]

>>10504974
I like this a lot.

[Anonymous No.10505143]

>>10505088
Yes, DFW

[Anonymous No.10505153]

I feel very happy. I'm finally winning against my problems. My years of hard work are paying off.

[Anonymous No.10505185]

I can't think. I can't fucking think anymore. I want to die. Fucking goddamnit let me die. Fuck you.

[Anonymous No.10505250]

This morning was too comfortable, waking up under the stifling duvet with Sunday eyes and that pressure behind my brow, that dry mouth from the weed and the red wine, that smell of sleep still trying to drag my head down to roll around the pillow for a couple hours more. My morning world was this soft pillow-top luxury. I drag myself out of it. Some idiot had told me a few days prior that I ought to teach myself to crave my pain in the world, as if expertise in self-flagellation would be my one-stop-shop for sin absolution, but this morning the words stuck like a sore thumb in my side.

I drag myself out of it. In the kitchen, put the kettle on, the good clean filtered water to boil, a hot cup of green tea. The last morning luxury. In the bathroom, swipe the curtains off the tub, plug the drain, braid my hair back tight, slip my headphones on and sit in the empty bath. Cue Syro, cue the ice cold water. I hold the steaming mug, steam rising up my nose. The water doesn't hit flesh right away.

I don't want to scream this early. I'd wake the whole building. But fuck, this half inch of water lapping at my calves is showing me how weak I am. I clench my jaw, the beeps in my headphones thud on, I sip the tea which does nothing to warm my pinprick legs. The water rises and I make deals with my future self. Just let the water level come to that freckle on my thigh, or just until the end of this song, whichever comes earlier, and then I'll stop, turn the water off, call it quits. The ice hits the spongy space between my legs, curdling my insides. My toes are pale white, my thighs bright red and speckled.

[Anonymous No.10505367]

I had such a vivid dream today. It wasn't a full dream, it was more like a moment in a bigger dream that I can't remember.
The back of my hands were stinging, they had wounds, they hurt as if they were sanded, the skin peeled off and grated.
Even if it isn't agonizing pain, I can still feel it.
Any anon able or willing to interpret this dream?

[Anonymous No.10505505]

Which version of the bible should I read? My mom has like 20 copies of NIV which I can borrow, but I've heard its only an alright translation. Should I grab a copy of the KJV?

[Anonymous No.10505540]

>>10503251
Na, originally I was going to teach, but then I found out just how much of a beuarcratic nightmare it is. Couldn't get into publishing just due to a lack of notice when sending out my resume.

Here's the link to my book, the Ebook is $3. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B077PC7PXX/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1515363461&sr=8-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=ravendale

[Anonymous No.10505542]

I never feel like doing anything. I can’t write at the moment because all my motivation is gone. I don’t know how I can finish this last semester of undergrad when I just feel so empty. I’ve tried changing my diet and getting exercise, but that’s not helping. Vyvanse doesn’t help me. I don’t know what’s going to kill this horrible combination of avolition and anhedonia. All I want to do is sleep.

[Anonymous No.10505547]

>>10501123
>late capitalistic era
It's getting later and later you filthy commies.

[Anonymous No.10505602]

>>10501123
ohboyohboyohboy this here writing thing aint gonna end well. shoulda stayed in school like mama told me. shoulda learned them graphs and cells and atoms but here I go to the big town to the concrete the noise and the good looking people with the ironic glasses. here i go here i go just waiting to fail. gonna write some stories about tortured youths gonna write their self-reflective agonies in indicepherable gobledigook because I cant even externalize the draining feeling that follow my slow thoughts on its teensies toes. I hear it and I feel its breath and boy am I scared but the words I put down just never catch it, they dont get it because I dont get it. Kinda drowning in a river and yelling about how this is a river and about how this river has - oh boy it sure has - how it has strong currents but I dont have the faintest idea what those currents are. I just get carried along allthewhile bobbing up and down like flesh-coloured buoy - huff im drowning - puff im drowning and I cant say how and why I can just hope that they are drowning too, maybe some of 'em blind so they'll appreciate me telling them about the river. Yupyup thats the plan, my man. Gonna go out to the city and gonna tell them about that river and hope they give me money and food so I can keep own drowning for a bit more. See you there.

[Anonymous No.10505760]

>>10505547
>hasn't read Land

you have to GO BACK

[Anonymous No.10505951]

I posted on an older thread about discovering MDE/Sam Hyde and how afraid I was of going deeper down the rabbit hole and becoming an alt-right racist. I mean, I am such an ignorant that I have few options other than talking "redpill" reading material as the truth.
I still wanna talk about it, and I would like someone to point me to the MDE forum again, since I can't find it.

[Anonymous No.10506000]

>>10505951
Taking*

[Anonymous No.10506101]

>>10501123
/g/ here

What's a good place for me to publish literature I write? I'm too much of an autistic free tard to use any social media other than Minds and it's blogging feature has no tag for literature. all I'm left with after that is pastebin but that's for sharing code and I'm not sure if people actually go there looking for stuff to read. Do people even go on the internet looking for things to read anymore?

I'm asking because someone on a thread over on /g/ tried to convince me to start a technology blog and I think it might be good for me too upload my finished writings somewhere where it might be possible for them to be read. I sometimes feel like I'm wasting my time writing things that will never be read by anyone outside of my immediate family and a small circle of friends.

[Anonymous No.10506103]

>>10503657
Not even sleep & dreams.

[Anonymous No.10506157]

what's a good introduction or overview on the stoics?

[Anonymous No.10506228]

i live in the corner of her eye, it's comfortable here, but it's a little cold

[Anonymous No.10506319]

>>10502738
TLDR: le born in le wrong generatio

[Anonymous No.10506442]

>>10505505
KJV has the most beautiful language and is generally the best, but may be somewhat less intelligible at times due to archaic words and words that have radically changed their meaning over time. I suggest you read KJV but keep a modern translation handy.

[Anonymous No.10506584]

>>10502717
>Sure I have a degree from a pretty prestigious university, and some solid accomplishments under my belt, but I have no inner satisfaction, no sense of fulfillment, no sense of meaning from what I've done.
getting some items from one of those decently nice (even ikea) interior home decoration stores could do wonders, paintings, vases, modern furniture, some color here, some flair, some useable throw pillows (not like shit with weird sequin stitches that you cant even put your face on), and lotsss of candles. Also eat good food often. Be happy with the small things, and pursue some pleasing, culminating/building/'constructive/creative/rewarding hobbies in your free time, try to see if your wife might be into pegging

[Anonymous No.10506593]

>>10502738
self improvement, nothing to fight for? Everything is about the individual, the world is your clam, and pearl, and oyster. The only thing worth living for is yourself. If that includes helping people so be it. If that includes helping yourself so be it.

[Anonymous No.10506603]

In my mind I balance two future scenarios, suicide and great immediate suffering to my family or failure and gradual suffering to my family. I can't say which is better or worse.

[Anonymous No.10506667]

>>10502296
Once a woman has been penetrated she's irrevocably changed. I don't know about the other anon, but I've never masturbated before.

[Anonymous No.10506671]

>>10506603
in 5 years you'll wonder why you were so stupid

lift weights + trade

[Anonymous No.10506687]

>>10506671
I can get behind lifting, not sure what you mean by trade though. I used to be pretty athletic when I was younger but I've turned into a lazy piece of shit, skinnyfat due to horrible diet and lack of exercise

[Anonymous No.10506753]

>>10506687
Trades, my boy
become a plumber, read on the side, write on the side

[Anonymous No.10506916]

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[Anonymous No.10507000]

it should be illegal for a convenience store to not sell weed

[Anonymous No.10507172]

>>10501127
>*tips

[Anonymous No.10507192]

>>10506101
not sure, just wanted to reply to you to let you know someone read your post.

i guess anywhere you could advertise it easily, maybe look for other technology blogs and see where they put things, good luck anon

[Anonymous No.10507261]

I'm much better at writing analyses of fiction than I am writing interesting fiction myself.
I'm honestly thinking about writing a work that consists of a collection of these analyses as well as summaries of what my fictional works would be if I was any good at writing them.

[Anonymous No.10507266]

>>10507172
>t. high schooler who isn't creative

oh, kid, you've got some shit in store

[Anonymous No.10507511]

>>10507192
Minds.com has a tag for technology in it's blogging feature. I'm talking about a place I can upload my literature. Looking around the site it seems some people like to post to hear God awful drivel as a blog post under no topic whatsoever and categorized with hashtags. In fact, making some random searches on Minds, I think I finally understand the purpose of hashtags.

Minds is definitely more for self-advocacy and reaching your fans then a place to upload your stuff for readers butt I don't think that kind of place exists on the internet anymore. The closest I can think of is Tumblr, but I'm not sure if I want to use that place for anything outside of porn.

[Anonymous No.10507605]

>>10503176
>>10505038
The silence has ended. I have to think about how will I proceed now.
Something burned out inside me, a warm feeling turned cold. I guess it's good that it did, good for my own well being at least. Is it really good that it went cold or I'm saying this only to justify myself? I need a second opinion to settle that matter, but I won't get one so I'll put a pin in that for now.
I can't do the same she did to me, as she can make a completely natural justification and excuse. And it would be completely true. Her intentions, I can't know until I ask (and for that I have to wait). What she did to me? No, no. What I did to myself? Yes.
I'll try to be honest without showing everything then. I'll open the curtains. If it the situation resolves so I have to open a window, then so be it. Until we meet again.

[Anonymous No.10507669]

>>10501123
I really enjoyed the prose in that OP speech.
Any books for this feel?

[Anonymous No.10507717]

Why is it that I live an empty life yet I feel no sadness? I don’t live with purpose yet I feel like my life is okay. Also people think it’s weird that I don’t fear death

[Anonymous No.10507788]

>>10501955
A third?
>neet
>never had a real job

[Anonymous No.10507813]

>>10507788
>>10501955
What are the purpose of these charts?

[Anonymous No.10507845]

>>10507813
how many weeks you have left of productive life (at least mentally)
at best

[Anonymous No.10507860]

>>10507845
so it's like a countdown to your death? I have mixed feelings towards this

[Anonymous No.10507881]

So /lit/, how do you world build without a blank slate character? I have a decent idea for a novel/series, but I don't know how to world build without le Luke Skywalker everyone has to explain everything to me character, or by just having literally every other sentence be an aside to explain details about the world.

Pls help.

[Anonymous No.10508340]

Dear diary, callipygean is profound.

[Anonymous No.10508498]

>>10506101
I host my literary blog on a shitty old Core2Duo machine running Slackware. Just market yourself right. I found a good bit of people interested in my work on Gab.

[Anonymous No.10508823]

I have several things going through my mind.
1. Am I prepared for medical school?
2. Should I join the military to pay for medical school?
3. Should I abandon my 20,000 word start of a novel becuase of writers block?
4. Why is the Pale King by DFW full of accounting at by page 20?
5. I can't seem to get my writing twitter and instagram to grow any faster, and it bothers me, because I don't know what to do.
Any advice is much appreciated.

[Anonymous No.10508892]

>>10503089
dude like no one cares

[Anonymous No.10508898]

>>10508892
You cared enough to reply, faggot. Learn some punctuation.

[Anonymous No.10509040]

Fuck the French. That is all.

[Anonymous No.10509096]

>>10509040
As a firearm lover and something of an amateur firearm/Military historian, I have to disagree. France is fucking awesome and has come up with so many major developments in firearm technology, it's incredible. Flintlocks, miquelet bullets, smokeless powder, the first to use FMJ bullets, the first to use spitzer bullets, and the first standard-issue semi-auto rifle was designed by a French Canadian; John Cantius Garand. Alright that last one wasn't FRENCH French, but you get my point. Amazing history.

[Anonymous No.10509107]

>>10506584
>try to see if your wife might be into pegging
Well, that came out of nowhere. Fucking lol'd

[Anonymous No.10509115]

maybe i should embrace my feminity instead of repressing it so i can be truly masculine when i'm masculine and truly feminine when i'm feminine rather than an artificially induced version of both

[Anonymous No.10509123]

>>10505951
the forum is down right now
do like i did and read both "redpill" and "bluepill" books and make up your mind on your own

[Anonymous No.10509196]

>>10509115
but what if you discover you are naturally feminine 89% of the time?

[Anonymous No.10509197]

>>10501916
>t. Man who's never read any basic biology
It is a good deal of instinct. The animal gets thirsty, so it's throat gets dry and it seeks out water to drink in order for that dryness to go away. Who gave you the idea that instinct is something vocal? Instinct is behavioral pattern in response to certain stimuli, not a narration.

[Anonymous No.10509294]

>>10509196
then it'll be a glorious 11% i presume

[Anonymous No.10509388]

Those of us who critique and criticize the world are naturally avoidant of others who share the same world view as us.
Why? Because knowing ourselves as we do, we don't wish to be subject to their critique exposing us to our own faults of which we are likely already painfully aware of. We are afraid of the rejection and being lumped in with the rest of society we so loathe for their mindless ways.
This leaves us with a conundrum.
With no hope of connecting with those to whom we may actually share something in common, we are left with the rest of the world.
The very same world we eschew and judge on a daily basis, and how can one connect with people they don't truly respect?
As a result we our left to our own devices, alone and with no attempt to connect with the world.

For we are disappointed and dissatisfied with society, and we are scared, that if we attempt to forego our prcognate conclusions, that we will be rejected due to a fundamentally different world view.

And it's easier to sleep at night thinking you could be a part of something bigger, than it is to sleep knowing you are truly alone.

[Anonymous No.10509460]

>>10509197
>The animal gets thirsty, so it's throat gets dry and it seeks out water
how does it know what water is, and that it is the cure to the feeling it feels?

[Anonymous No.10509537]

>>10509460
Why concentrate on animals? Why do *you* know things?

[Anonymous No.10509554]

>>10509537
because animals are supposedly intellectually simpler than humans, we could concentrate the question on humans, but the fundamentality of the intrigue is more pure in the animal, who does not have an encyclopedia of chemistry and biology and water treatment facilities.

[Anonymous No.10510359]

[Anonymous No.10510405]

>>10509388
this is the basis of 'e unibus pluram' by dfw (aka the new sincerity meme essay) if you haven't read it. tho he tends more towards TV as both the cause of the dissatisfaction and the thing we turn to to 'connect with the world' as you say, in that it becomes like the self-cannibalistic cyclical snake ring thing.

in the present day, at least for millennials, the equivalent would be youtube, where the OC to raised-eyebrow reaction video ratio feels like 1:1.

you can see similar cycles on 4chan

[Anonymous No.10510421]

>>10501123
It makes me uncomfortable that this doesn't say ice creams

[Anonymous No.10510428]

>>10510421
What, do you want to eat multiple cones of ice cream? Anon, you'll get fat.

[Anonymous No.10510439]

>>10510421
me too, I felt the same way

[Anonymous No.10510453]

>>10507266
>t. can't accept his writing is shit

Don't try to improve; just keep believing everyone except you is wrong. I'm sure the Nobel committee will call any day now, you misunderstood genius you.

[Anonymous No.10510889]

[Anonymous No.10511148]

I'm writing nonfiction works without a degree, because academia has failed to even touch a plethora of important subjects. Not only am I working with limited text sources, all of them are out of print, really crummy, or so arcane that all context is lost without context or initiation. I've decided to edit decent new editions- thinking about self-publishing them to help out people who are in a similar boat as me. Although I have nearly completed one of them, I lack much experience with doing this. I find myself lost; disenfranchised with not only the publishing industry, but the world at large. Being a """conservative""" of any kind makes my job even harder than it already is, but I feel an undying urge, not a want but a need: to stand up for what I believe in. I'm drifting away into a sea of uncertainty, and more than anything else, I am frightened.

pic unrelated

[Anonymous No.10511214]

>>10508823
>I have several things going through my mind.
>1. Am I prepared for medical school?
That's up to you
>2. Should I join the military to pay for medical school?
Not if you're American
>3. Should I abandon my 20,000 word start of a novel becuase of writers block?
No. You'll never finish everything. Power through it, writing a first draft can be done in less than a month. I did it in 3 while slacking off.
>4. Why is the Pale King by DFW full of accounting at by page 20?
Don't know.
>5. I can't seem to get my writing twitter and instagram to grow any faster, and it bothers me, because I don't know what to do.
You're wasting your time on dying platforms.
>Any advice is much appreciated.

[Anonymous No.10511226]

>>10511148
What are some topics and subjects you are focusing on?

[Anonymous No.10511227]

>>10510453
holy smokes
why are you projecting so much? oh, i'm sorry, am i doing your thing??

lmao

[Anonymous No.10511233]

>>10510453
>soy-induced hormonal changes cause periods of rabid mood swings, and intense irritability in young males.

[Anonymous No.10511240]

>>10511226
Paganism, occultism, agriculture, and theology is the main sphere of what I write about.

[Anonymous No.10511256]

>>10508823
Can you elaborate on what you mean by dying platforms? Thank you for your response

[Anonymous No.10511260]

>>10511214
Can you elaborate on what you mean by dying platforms? Thank you for your response

[Anonymous No.10511261]

Why would a men be interested in women. No, seriously. There's so many more interesting things that women. It's just so baffling. There's basically nothing there beyond sexual attraction.

[Anonymous No.10511276]

>>10511261
I'm of the approximately same opinion, minus the sexism: I believe that the mind should be kept as separate from the body as possible.
In this, I hope that there exists creative women with ideas to bring to the table that interest me. I've never met one but still. That's not to say I've never been friends with a female, I just never found anything interesting in them aside from their humor or body.

[Anonymous No.10511295]

The Soytians, a feral new human conception, milked from the soy vines of Asia Minor, skittle about outside a local bar. Playing tonight a new band named Mauve, all members sharing the same love for early twenty-tens' revival for reverb, echo, and oscillation pedals. Feverish addiction to pornography fuels their desires. Cuffs rolled a tad too high, revealing ankles one could swear as brittle as dried semen upon cloth (except for the bassist, Noah, whose supple nature, as much as he hides behind big button-ups, comes teaming forth from his socks, as if sizes too small, his gargantuan ankles moving to-and-fro in his bassist shuffle, bending, the flesh creasing in all manners of awful), t-shits tucked, carabiners holding their whopping two keys from a belt loop, Vans, Docs, and vicious anxiety disorders. The music starts, Soy Boys, and Gals, gather around, their ancestral beverages in hand, PBR, shitty stouts, bread-like brews. A 4/4 Mixolydian dash between two notes rings from an offset fender, the irritable ping that all Soytians bow to, then a snare snap, the bass arrives, and the Telecaster boy finally hits his major seventh chord. It all sounds like a surrender. Masses of heat flow about, swaying, bobbing, just enough to appropriate dancing, wrapped in light denim jackets, floral patterns, torn fish nets.

Most will complain about the night for the next following days.

[Anonymous No.10511394]

>>10511276
I'm not trying to be mysoginist though. Of course there's female individuals that aren't simple fleshbags. But women as a category, women in the sense that they're different or complementary to men, are a gigantic waste of time. Even if you want kids the trouble is usually not worth it. Why the world isn't just prostitution and surrogate pregnancies is beyond me. Love (capital) is the single objection to this but even that is only relevant if the loved one is not simply part of the species.

[Anonymous No.10511440]

I don't know what to do as a writer.

I've had a story I've struggled with for two years now and I know it's unsalvageable but I'm not sure what else to do now. I was trying to be someone I'm not and accomplish a task I'm just not up to. Because of that, everything that came naturally to me failed to line up and everything I wanted sloughed off

I don't know what to do

[Anonymous No.10511470]

>>10511440
>I've had a story I've struggled with for two years now and I know it's unsalvageable
No story is unsalvageable. There's no story before it's put into paper. There's nothing that can't be corrected, deleted, diminished, repurposed and so on. Stories only exist as what you have written. Nothing more. So don't let that get you down because you're not even out there yet.

Rather than change all of it in one go, change your perspective on it. Try to do something different with it. Even if at times it seems you'll have to get rid of very important parts. Don't just through away all your progress.

>I was trying to be someone I'm not and accomplish a task I'm just not up to.
That's good. The moment you're a "someone" you're done as an artist.

>Because of that, everything that came naturally to me failed to line up and everything I wanted sloughed off
You still have time. The world doesn't depend on your art. That's why it's the best thing in the world.

I mean, unless you have cancer. I don't know.

[Anonymous No.10511518]

>>10511470
>There's no story before it's put into paper.
The funny thing is that after two years I finally have enough pieces to make a story out of, but it's trying to do too many things at once and the only thing it does well is the part I'm least invested in.

actually, as I'm sitting here typing it feels like it does a lot of things decently. It's just that some of the things I'm most attached to don't fit and I'm not sure what to do about it all

[Anonymous No.10511602]

>>10511518
Anon, making things "fit" is what aesthetics is. It's more important than prose, themes, structure, plot, and comes before them and gives them shape. Of course it's hard, it's *the* work. Your effort is aimed at the correct place. If you feel tired then take a small break and do or work on something else, even if you're just entertaining it. Having something else to look at always helps see what things you're compulsed to repeat too.

[Anonymous No.10511620]

>>10501123
In my mind and in writing I'm an intellectual, or at the very least a pseud. But in terms of spoken word I'm very much a slobbering downs syndrome and/or low functioning autistic retard.

>tfw fucked up another conversation with a coworker at office
>mind blanked, blurted out retarded shit
>don't know how I'll go back tomorrow
>fuggg

[Anonymous No.10511649]

>>10511620
>no comma after over 3 word introductory clause

looks like you're lower than you actually think you are

[Anonymous No.10511658]

>>10511620
>tfw you do have something to add to the conversation but the points you'd make are so above the normies' minds that they would have no way of replying
the wonder why i'm quiet
it's so they are not

[Anonymous No.10511665]

>>10511649
I'm a stemfag m8, I just meant that I can communicate pretty advanced ideas through writing. I'm not a genius by any measure, but my GRE score tells me that at the very least I'm not not-intelligent. Unfortunately my speaking skills say the exact opposite.

[Anonymous No.10511829]

I have the idea of starting a diary. But this diary will be written in these threads.
Should I do it? I thought I'd ask to you, anons, before doing it.

[Anonymous No.10513345]

[Anonymous No.10513615]

I have a WMI of 66 so I can't function without my books.

[Anonymous No.10514362]

>He is even worse than a Jew, he is - may Mankind forgive me for uttering this word - a Jesuit.
I love this book. It's like the ultimate NEET experience.

>>10511829
So long as you keep it quality...

[Anonymous No.10514646]

>>10511829
Sure we'd all be fascinated to read your unique outlook on things. I for one would eagerly browse /lit/ every day, just hoping for the chance to immerse myself in your personal thoughts. Everyone on this board stands to gain a great deal of enlightenment from you, so don't be afraid to express yourself!

[Anonymous No.10515346]

[Anonymous No.10515379]

>>10513615
whats WMI?

[Anonymous No.10515386]

>>10515379

Working Memory Index

[Anonymous No.10515661]

[Anonymous No.10515770]

>>10515379
A social construct.

[Anonymous No.10515811]

Admire me not, curse the lot, I am what the founders sought, do me wrong, bang the gong, through it all I will be strong, past the door, in my drawer, here my instrument of war, I am young, heart long hung, I can spot the liar's tongue, think me queer, far or near, I will fill you up with fear, I'm not done, you can't run, I have not yet got my gun, cold in bone, flesh of stone, I see where the raven's flown, in God's grace, chosen race, I do not neglect the chase, fodder slow, screams that blow, you will not survive to grow, praise Him high, blessed eye, you are all about to die

[Anonymous No.10515842]

>>10507717
You are content. There is nothing to be sad about. Purpose is a lie. Purposelessness is the natural state. It can be nice to have one, but not needing one makes focusing on other things easier. People who fear death have probably not thought about it very much.

[Anonymous No.10515880]

I used like chick flicks because I was a waifufag who liked to beat off like watching them.
Then I hated chick flicks because I didn't want to seem like a loser waifufag who might be gay for making female characters.
Now I love chick flicks again because the girls are cutest when they're falling for the hero who is often bro-tier.
And when I say chick flicks I mean capeshit with female leads, like Wonder Woman and Supergirl. Also Gunbuster/Diebuster.

[Anonymous No.10515955]

Can modern women be considered cowards or is courage and stoicism just not expected of them?

[Anonymous No.10516123]

I wanted to so badly tell the cashier at the drugstore she was extremely beautiful and that I love her but she may have been 16 and taken it as an offense.

[Anonymous No.10516138]

>>10516123
Follow your dreams, you never know, she could own a well read copy of infinite jest

[Anonymous No.10516184]

I can't believe I've been to Iraq but I'm afraid to make a phone call.

[Anonymous No.10516290]

>>10516138
>>10516123
Not a good idea, I went to high school was a somewhat more sympathetic Stacy who had some guy say "Miss! Miss! I just wanted to tell you that you're beautiful!" one morning at the local gas station store and she (and her friends) proceeded to come to class and tell everyone about how some guy had "creeped" on her. IIRC, her response to the guy was "Okay! Bye!!"
Then again this was 8 years or so ago, things might have changed since them.

[Anonymous No.10516373]

Things are pretty good for me, can't complain.

[Anonymous No.10516416]

>>10516123
reminds me of something that just happened to me. A girl who works at my local rec center screamed at me today for not wearing shoes when I went to check my weight at the scale (was about to head to the pool). I thought about asking for her number in a rude way on my way out to get back at her and take a shot at some pussy at the same time. Decided not to b/c I like that pool and didn't want to be banned for autism.

[Anonymous No.10516426]

>>10516373
WELL FUCK YOU, BUD!

[Anonymous No.10516444]

>>10516373
WELL SCREW YOU, PAL!

[Anonymous No.10516449]

>>10501127
Starts poorly ends well.

I appreciate your metaphor.

Good luck.

[Anonymous No.10516463]

>>10516373
WELL FRICK YOU, FRIEND!

[Anonymous No.10516559]

>>10516290
test

[Anonymous No.10516816]

>>10516123
Worst case scenario you'll end up in jail, which means you'll lose your virginity either way. It's a win/win.

[Anonymous No.10516826]

>tfw you finally found a way to get your story to work
>and it prevents any chance of you making a series and telling the whole thing

fuck me

[Anonymous No.10516850]

>>10516826
Soft sequels/prequels/interquels/paraquels

[Anonymous No.10516887]

>>10516850
>paraquels
???

[Anonymous No.10516917]

>>10516123
there are ways of doing it without being too creepy or cringe. old guys tend to be really good at it.

generally though it's probably a good thing you didn't. one thing you can do is follow her around and she where she goes. could take a few weeks but then you can bump into her coincidentally and make your move. women are hard to get and I firmly believe the old ways are best because there is a fine line between romantic and creepy.

my grandpa actually met my grandma after stalking her on the streets of Vienna for 2 weeks. he finally approached her and asked to marry her and she said yes. they had a happy marriage and 6 children so say what you want but that is true romance

[Anonymous No.10516941]

>>10516887
At the same time, related, but tangential to the events of the other instance. Parallel, rather than between two other things.

Characters A and B live in the same city. Character A hears of what character B is doing. After character A's story is done, we see what character B was doing, and we get a better idea of the bigger picture.

Regardless, my recommendation was more towards loose continuity.

[Anonymous No.10516951]

>>10516941
>para in paraquel means parallel
I see. P cool, always liked these.

[Anonymous No.10517010]

>wow anon, you are SO QUIET!!
>...
>you don't say ANYTHING!!
what the fuck is the deal with these people

[Anonymous No.10517192]

>>10517010
quiet makes them uncomfortable. it's annoying but they dont really know any better. maybe their internal dialog-voice isnt loud enough or they just rly enjoy conversing or theyre just cunts being condescending

[Anonymous No.10517217]

>>10517192
Generally, when you're speaking about casual things, you're not thinking. Some people don't like to think. It can be scary. Like seeing a black man while you're alone in a dark alley and he's wearing a jersey and an obscene amount of jewellery.

[Anonymous No.10517955]

[Anonymous No.10517967]

>>10516416
my love for this girl is far beyond pussy. and I was afraid of getting banned too, as type in phone number for rewards card so could easily notify management.

[Anonymous No.10517982]

>>10516917
>as type in phone number for rewards card
I was thinking about: Hey, now that you have my number, can I have yours?

[Anonymous No.10518000]

>>10517010
that is the nature of social, if they cant gauge your personality, how you speak, how you might think, they have no reason to assume anything other than you continuously thinking 'fuck you all fuck you all I hate you all' daydreaming of your evil antisocial plots. If you are not cheery and happy to see them each time, they have no right to think you like them, that you appreciate them, and there is no reason they do not want to be liked and appreciated by everyone in their presence, and there is no reason they want to see a sad, pitiful, depressing, buzzkill, frowning, mopey, pouting gunt while they are enjoying their societal existence and the world.

[Anonymous No.10518008]

>>10517010
and that is them extending their spirtual social hand to say: hey quiet sadboy, I am offering a motion of friendship, of niceity, of kindness, of care, we strangely out of all the people we could know, exist regularly in close proximity, so I am saying hi, I am saying hey, in an effort that you might open up, and smile, and be kind, so that I may pass on my easy positivity, to one who appears to have noone to be happy with, here take my small gesture of happiness, I am forced to try by my goodness, to make some humane contact with this, your species of human need. You can understand this and accept it and appreciate it like a gentlemen, or tell me in your head to fuck off and complain about it on an anime image board with your, friends, reinforcing the reasons for your inner and outer bitterness

[Anonymous No.10518038]

>>10518000
>>10518008
Anon, this isn't helping my disdain for women. Not at all.

[Anonymous No.10518151]

>>10518038
I didnt know your post was woman specific, my response was not. as much as their happiness hurts you, ...well ok, a small small very tiny tiny amount they are hurt by your apparent unhappiness, if you want to be antisocial, leave society, Society is Socialiety, would it be appropriate for lets say someone in a classroom, or library, or restaurant, to bring in a dumpster full of literal rancid shit and dump it into a chair? Dont take any of this seriously, im just joking around, you shouldnt actually feel bad or care. I was in your same place, to degrees

[Anonymous No.10518169]

>>10517982
should I buy a flower and after I pay for it give it to her? That is if my dreadful anxiety will allow me to imagine me seeing her again, for if I do not, not I do think I can be happy again

[Anonymous No.10518183]

>>10505760
> hurr believe mah commie bullshit or ur /pol/!
Guess who has to fuck off, you unwelcome cunt.....

[Anonymous No.10518198]

>>10509460
>how does it know what water is, and that it is the cure to the feeling it feels?
Some intuit this. The ones that didn't died not long after getting out of the water.

[Anonymous No.10518202]

>>10518151
>I didnt know your post was woman specific
I'm not the OP.

>as much as their happiness hurts you, ...well ok, a small small very tiny tiny amount they are hurt by your apparent unhappiness
It doesn't though, and I'm not interested in revenge.

>if you want to be antisocial, leave society
I don't want to leave society. I just don't think a society based on "I give so you give" is one worth pursuing.

>Society is Socialiety, would it be appropriate for lets say someone in a classroom, or library, or restaurant, to bring in a dumpster full of literal rancid shit and dump it into a chair?
I'm not sure what you mean.

>Dont take any of this seriously
I wasn't.

>you shouldnt actually feel bad or care.
I don't.

[Anonymous No.10518285]

>>10518038
>>10517010
next time one asks why you are so quiet say: "because I am very boring and have nothing interesting to say, and I doubt you want to hear me ramble and rant for 3 hours straight about anime, and, ahem..excuse me to say, sweatie, but I dont know when the last time you looked in the mirror was, but I love to lit to say I hate to break it to you...im happy for you to know I fib to say im sorry to say, youre not my oneitis wafiu...bitch", and then jump up from your chair and naruto run away...but dont forget your yughio cards!, because then you will have to very cooly strut back and say..."heh...forgot to gather my magic cards...whore..", but becareful when you pick them up none fall out of the binder, because that would be if only slightly embaressing attempting to pick them up off the floor, if you have ever experienced trying to pick something thin up off the floor, but maybe you can do it quickly, becuase you have long fingernails, and that may be impressive, so as we see with daily social life there are a lot of subtle decisions to be made

[Anonymous No.10518286]

>>10516373
UP YOURS, AMIGO!

[Anonymous No.10518289]

>>10516850
What's the difference between 'interquel' and 'paraquel'? Lack of interaction between the two in the latter?

[Anonymous No.10518292]

>>10518183
just proved them right with your false interpretation

[Anonymous No.10518301]

>>10516290

Oh my God. Did he died?

[Anonymous No.10518306]

>>10518198
>Some intuit this.
How, I am asking how the mechanism and function occurs: how does the animal intuit it, what necessarily occurs in the animals head for the realization to occur, what precisely is that realization, how does it understand this relationship between 'blue/clear/not grass, not stone substance and its need to place it in its body.

I could and could have asked the same thing about its relation to food, but I intuited there is a little more for me comprehension there, with strong sense of smell: and the immediate pleasure a smell the body suggests it needs (water doesnt exactly have such a smell does it? so is it purely its magical appearance, like a child attracted to shiny jangly keys, that puts the creature in an oasisal daze of desire to consume the pure perfection)? That the mechanism I can understand, the feeling of the belly empty and panging, the smell of berries or meat carried by the wind: a reaction taking place associating the pang in the stomach with the smell; find the source of smell, intimate with it, commune with it, roll around in it in ecstatic celebration, try to put some in your mouth, understand that action was the solution.

[Anonymous No.10518316]

>>10518289
C >>10516941

[Anonymous No.10518358]

>>10518169
im already worried I ruined the chance by saying after everything I was getting was rang up "I have a gift card, hopefully there is enough on it to cover all that"

[Anonymous No.10518429]

I should probably kill myself desu.

[Anonymous No.10518444]

They stole my capacity to think. They stole it from me.

[Anonymous No.10518454]

>>10518444
Who?

[Anonymous No.10518485]

>>10518444
His erectile disfunction pills.

[Anonymous No.10518493]

>>10518454

Wizards. And assholes.

[Anonymous No.10518547]

>>10518493
Are e talking about asshole wizards? Or wizard on one side and assholes on the other? Or is it both?

[Anonymous No.10518551]

>>10518547

Some combination therein.

[Anonymous No.10518585]

>>10518316
I already read that before I asked.

[Anonymous No.10518596]

>>10518585
Oh. Interquels are between two other instances. An episode 1.5 instead, instead of a side B. So lack of (direct) interaction is more or less correct, yeah.

[Anonymous No.10519082]

>>10518285
>>10518008
>>10518000
What if I'm not being quiet out of resentment and spite? What if I simply have nothing important or interesting to say at every waking moment?

[Anonymous No.10519361]

>>10519082
Different anon but I'm gonna second this.

I'm quiet as fuck because I can never think of anything to say, my mind honestly blanks out when socializing.

Last time this chick I worked with was flirting with me hardcore, I could keep enough conversation for us to hang out.
Fast forward a couple days and she comes over.

I'm tripping on acid, she crawls In my bed wearing only a shirt and underpants. And she ends up falling asleep because im neither saying anything nor making any moves on her.
I don't even go so far as to kiss her that entire night/day period, and our only physical interaction (my arm around her) is caused when she grabs it and pulls it around her.

She's forced to think of things to say 90% of the time because my mind is blanking out on what to say so I don't say anything, as I don't mind silence.

Even when I'm sober the next time, I'm still largely silent, forcing her to talk about shit. Which I honestly don't mind as I enjoy listening, despite being terrible at conversation.
She makes the move to kiss me almost immediately and within the course of the night we have sex.


I have no doubt if I wasn't mildly attractive I'd be a virgin thanks to my terrible conversational skills and absolute refusal to make the first move with women

[Anonymous No.10519414]

the best part about /lit/ threads are the following:

neurotic high iq sociopaths whose personality disorders are so strong they can’t stop affecting superiority and thus can never engage with their peers; brainlets who haven’t the capacity for critique and will egg on the neurotic sociopaths; troll nihilists whose only purpose is to shit into other people’s mouths; p-zombie redditors and meme faggots from the /pol/ flood who don’t have cognition or any linguistic intelligence to speak of; earnest midwits who are too slow footed to dance with the neurotic sociopaths and too kindly, even keeled to smash the insipid brainlet hordes who ruin threads by getting caught in schoolyard argumentation loops; women who announce they have a vagina and are sure you’re angry you can’t have it; homosexuals who are schizophrenic and can’t make the most cursory of efforts to deal with a topic not centered around social signaling and sex; drug addicts and NEETs who aren’t sure what we’re talking about or what board this is

[Anonymous No.10519421]

>>10519414

no

[Anonymous No.10519431]

>>10519082
these are people in your class, school, who you may know, live around your neighborhood, may have been going to school with for years, may or may not know things about one another?

>What if I simply have nothing important or interesting to say at every waking moment?
maybe you unintentionally give of instead of resting bitch face, resting death glare

[Anonymous No.10519437]

>>10519421
hmmm, wonder what category you are in

[Anonymous No.10519449]

>>10519082
I already covered that: the essence of their question is likely out of kindness, assuming with all rights from their total apparent observations, of shy, quiet, loneliness, unhappiness, that it is possible you would say something, open and warm up, be friendly, smile, be nice, be happier, if you were given the oppurtunity to communicate with a peer, maybe if as someone mentioned, girl, they were even attempting to flirt...but lets not get too ahead of yourself.

[Anonymous No.10519461]

>>10502717
>>10502738
>waaaaa capitalism waaaaa

Keep crying baby

[Anonymous No.10519462]

how would you scientifically go about attempting to find out the quantities of pure skill involved in relation to the winnings/chances of winning of the top poker players in the world playing against each other (many times), and the top chess players in the world playing against each other (many times). How much chance/luck/randomness is involved? Everything down to how they are feeling that day due to the weather and what they had to lunch that may make them think this or that in this or that moment.

[Anonymous No.10519477]

Is the statement of purpose I wrote good enough ?
How the fuck do I edit it? Sure, I'll probably look up how to rephrase things in other essays , look up synonyms but what else ?
Reader, what is your editing process. I speak to you through this text. How do YOU edit it?

[Anonymous No.10519483]

>>10519462

What are you asking, if it's possible to simulate arbitrarily many contests or if it's possible to discern every factor that goes into the outcome? They're two separate questions, and in the latter case, it's pretty transparently impossible.

[Anonymous No.10519488]

I’d like to write something that isn’t genre, but I just don’t know how.

[Anonymous No.10519594]

>>10519483
first I was wondering: if the skill involved with poker is comparable to the skill involved with chess. (stipulation being a closed control of only the best of the best playing each other).
I think intuition and convention states loudly poker is fundamentally full of chance and luck, absolutely obviously end of story (as the cards are flipped over randomly from this day to the next, from this shuffle to the next, whereas chess is always the same, and its only purely a players choices verse a players choices: poker is a players choices verse a players choices, but there is the absolute randomness, guessing and hope, of the random turned over cards: I guess I was wondering how much randomness, guessing and hope goes into matches between the best chess players: how it could quantifiably be compared to poker).

[Anonymous No.10519607]

>>10519488
what have you written that is genre? how many genres do you like reading? Try to take elements from many genres and blend them, and the essence of 'non genre writing' is drawing from your own personal self, your own flavor and tastes, quirks, conventions, experiments, mannerisms, syncraticies, idiosyncraticies, your deepest darks and brightest truest thoughts and feelings and dreams; instead of: I like the taste of those cookies that cookie cutter has produced a million times, let me follow that recipe to make those cookies, with a teensy teensy bit of my self added in the blender.

[Anonymous No.10519616]

I cannot believe what a complete waste my life was. I'm genuinely impressed at how little I've done, how limited my everything is. I think the same thoughts everyday. Is there a functional difference between this and being dead? I feel like laughing. And crying.

[Anonymous No.10519627]

>>10519414
stop stalking me dude. everyday i walk to your house and you're there in bed breathing and i know you're doing it on purpose. it's reasons like this you need to die.

[Anonymous No.10519713]

>>10519414
So which are you, anon?

[Anonymous No.10519720]

>>10519361
I guess they find something about it sexy, like you're 'inaccessible' or some shit. Only works if you're attractive, of course

[Anonymous No.10519800]

>>10519361
quiet attractive man: reserved, cool, calm, aloof
quiet ugly man: autistic, antisocial, angry, sad, lonely

[Anonymous No.10519974]

>>10519713
I spend my time artfully weaving patterns through all the zones

[Anonymous No.10520016]

>>10506593
No-one sane lives this way.

>>10502738
>Then again, I feel like all the sacrifices of great men, who actually fought for what they believed in, have been for null. So maybe it doesn't matter in the end.
But you recognize their greatness, and it guides you to dissatisfaction, to truth. It may have amounted to little, but that doesn't mean it was wrong.

[Anonymous No.10520023]

>>10520016
>No-one sane lives this way.
for you

[Anonymous No.10520027]

>>10520016
define sane

[Anonymous No.10520147]

>>10520016
So "sane" people are those who work 9-5 for life never achieving anything besides being another cog in the modern machine?

[Anonymous No.10520571]

Day out with the family; complete waste of time.

[Anonymous No.10520592]

>want to get into reading more
>go online for good fiction book recs from 2017
>FUCKING EVERYTHING is about muh race, muh ethnic identity, etc.
Fucking gag me. All I wanted was like a generic fantasy book where generic dude goes super saiyan or some shit. Realistic fiction, especially from this year, sucks hard.

[Anonymous No.10520600]

>>10505951
dont worry i went down the hole and didnt come out insane

it is all just bunk for edgy high schoolers

i think sam nick and charls are mostly just insane narcissistic assholes, heads of a personality cult where they just adopt whatever ideology will gain it more followers

its mdeforums.net

[Anonymous No.10520614]

>>10518358
>>10518169
>>10517982
this is all turbo cringe, dont do any of it.

Have you found her on social media? facebook/instagram/twitter-stalk her first, guaranteed you'll find she has a boyfriend who is way better looking for you and the whole endeavor will be heartbraking and pointless

attractive cashiers are used to being hit on by people way way bigger catches than you. women don't stop dating until they know they can't do any better. do you really believe you can compete with the giant pool that is the general public?

get over it and work on compartmentalizing your life more

[Anonymous No.10520660]

>>10520571

Why? You don't like your family anon?

One day you might miss them you know.

[Anonymous No.10520684]

Is this enough to be a novel, and is it too edgy?

>Teenager runs away from home scared for his sanity after a mouse tells him he's the chosen one
>within 24 hours he's had his clothing stolen, got attacked on the subway by a zombie he's still trying to convince himself was a homeless person, and been found himself a job at an paranormal-themed tea lounge full of people more insane than he is

[Anonymous No.10520790]

>>10520600
Nick and Charls are good lads, Sam is a self admitted asshole

[Anonymous No.10521154]

[Anonymous No.10521161]

>>10521154
Looks gay to me.

[Anonymous No.10522171]

>>10520684
When I was coming up for an idea for a novel, I was bouncing ideas off of my brother and he asked me this
>What is the conflict?
Every story has to have a conflict, that the main character overcomes to finish the story.

Your idea sounds fine as a start or setting but it has to have rising action, a climax and conclusion. Or else its just ramblings.

[Anonymous No.10522270]

>>10521161

[Anonymous No.10522271]

>>10517217
Now you're projecting tons of bullshit, jew boy .....

[Anonymous No.10522476]

>>10522271
Thoughts can indeed sometimes be scary, they can go to dark places. It's why I have a book on me whenever I leave the house, so I have something to read if I have to wait for whatever reason. Sometimes it's nice to just shut the mind off and put it on auto-pilot with a book or something like that.

[Anonymous No.10522620]

>>10520660
Every single time we see my uncle, aunt and cousins they end the day fighting each other about stupid shit. And my sister won't miss a moment to complain about her life, she started the literal moment we got in the car.

There's nothing I could miss from this. It's unbearable. I could have spent the day doing anything instead of listen to them talking about inane shit and it would have been more productive.

I'm tired of having to a acommodate. No one gives a fuck about me anyway.

[Anonymous No.10522950]

>>10522620
you should tell them all this, in a calm, clear, patient, endearing, understanding voice, "Excuse me, but what exactly are you attempting to achieve by this action and behavior, ahem..pardon me, but what precisely is the meaning of this, what is the sense? Sister why do you always complain about your life? Is it because you feel awkward simply being a being in the car with your family, you have to escape this simplicity of acceptance and nonluxorious moment and mode and occasion, to create action and life and drama and distraction and attention and celebrity? Is it that you truly have noone else to talk to and so this is a moment of actual honesty and relief, and psychological relaxational unwinding? How do you want us to respond, with support and understanding and helpful tips I should suppose? Uncle, aunts, cousins, what are you fighting about, why? What is the point? What are you getting at? Are you too, so dissonanced and stricken by awkwardality of the simplicity of your present bodies you must make a circus scene, to distract from the boredom of your blazee beingness? It is ok! Let us not fret, nor fondle the devils dick, and rub it about one anothers crevices! Let us celebrate our inessential mediocrity! Let us gather about and hold hands and speak in tongues towards the heavens, of our psychotic insignificane! And be happy and proud that at least we have each other to suffer with! and make suffer! for without this transpondent transposition of illness begotten beforthed befrothed befuddled befucked out of our serpentine souls, onto the one most near that so reminds us of our simply cruel stupidity and worthlessness, without our dear near genetic copies of punching bag straw, with which to unfurl our woven droven death throws, we might only have ourselves standing short and dark beneath the tall bright sun, and that brilliant light that exists all around us, of which we have not been granted a prick, may only be left to fill us with the very flames of hell we wish to escape, of which is only ever the most very present, to our numble impotent soul! So Antie, pass the wine! and uncle, pass that good shit! And mother and sister turn round your behind, and let me suck them clits! For what difference does it make, what you think and say and do, as long as your heart is full of poo, and I am in the mood to make due.

[Anonymous No.10523047]

I took some amphetamines to get the energy to finish my essay, taking large amounts of speed can be somewhat counterproductive though, I get focus on other things, as long as I don't start masturbating it's fine because the wikipedia black holes only last for about 30 minutes and then I'm productive for another 20. Masturbation takes a solid 2 hours to get out of my system once I've started. I downloaded my facebook archive though, I wanted to delete the conversations with my current girlfriend as there's quite a bit of tax dodging talk going on there and it feels stupid to risk it, we should switch to another chat platform.

In the facebook archives were the full chat logs with my girlfriend, it was stupid to open them. Seeing my words hang there like a question that might never get a response. It was over three years ago and I still think of her every single fucking day. Why doesn't it get easier? My life is full of fun shit and success and a more attractive kinder girlfriend and money and friends and... yet she fucking lingers.

The essay is almost done anyway, don't need any more drugs to get through the final edit. I'm gonna cum so fucking hard tonight.

[Anonymous No.10523082]

>>10522950
That'll do, Maldoror. That'll do.

[Anonymous No.10523120]

have played around with some ideas for pieces of writing for a long while now. Recently started actually writing. I was always worried that I wouldn't be able to actually synthesize any prose, but I've found a rhythm to it. I'd like to dive into working all the time because of how I enjoy it. I fear that it would just end up a waste. What do?

[Anonymous No.10523160]

I'm thinking of writing a book, but I'm afraid:
1) It will come out as a complete diarrhoea
2) Nobody will fucking read it, and I would've wasted time crafting it
3) People will read it, and think I'm human garbage for writing it

I'm not that old, mid 20s, but I had been sick with a specific type of anaemia for the better part of 12 years. It got bad enough that I had nerve damage occurring, so it wasn't a non-condition. I want to write about my experiences with it, growing up abnormally, the way it affected my interactions with people. I always had people telling me what I was doing wrong, every step of the way someone was there to tell me why I was the one to blame. "You don't go to bed early enough", "Stop playing computer games", "You need to eat more of this!", and that just continued on and on. By the time I became an adult, I felt like every shortcoming I had fell solely on my shoulders, that I should have done and should be doing more. Now the revelation is out that I was legitimately sick, but that doesn't change anything. I still have to deal with the isolation and setbacks that long term illness has caused for me. It got bad enough that when I was constantly cold, having to sleep 12-14 hours a day, and started having serious dizzy spells, constant brain fog etc, that I was going to die.

Now I'm here, and I'm still fighting to get my life back where I want it to be. I feel like I should write about my experience, I think it's reasonably unique, but can still be identified with by people - especially those experiencing mental health difficulties.

Inb4 why didn't you go to the doctor
To prove to my university I had long term health issues, I had to show them reports that I had been to the doctor and their diagnosis. I had been 60 or so times in 2 years, so that's about every 2 weeks.

[Anonymous No.10523302]

[Anonymous No.10523319]

>>10523047
>thinking about and talking about other lovers while with someone
shameful

[Anonymous No.10523397]

>>10501123
Why do I have a passion for something which I have no talent for? I'm a talker. Let me skim a book on any kind of topic and I'll be able to make it seem as if I knew something about the respective field. Some info there, a half-truth here, throw in a joke, a smile and wink - done. People make money with that kinda stuff, you know? The world loves its talkers, its dazzlers, its Krulls its Voigts - I could be that kind of person (I know you don't believe me, but that doesn't really mater right now, does it?) but I just don't want to. It brings me no joy to present superficial knowledge as expertise for a living. I want to be more than that, more than a talker: I want to be a writer - and please, before you know crack one of your half-assed, half-knowing, haughty smiles and point to the difference between „wanting to be a writer“ and „wanting to write“, take the metaphorical you hand you were gonna point with and slap yourself across your face with it instead: that's not what this is about. So why do I want to be something I am not? (Not in the way that you are never the thing you want to become - this is different and you know that) Maybe I just hate myself enough to only desire the thing I cannot have or be. I find that to be a nicer explanation than: „well just because“. I hate myself for no reason so I found a reason to hate myself.

[Anonymous No.10523665]

>>10523082
do you mean matador? because your post is bull and im going to avoi-...ok yea, ha ha, it appears I have been impaled

[Anonymous No.10523718]

Should China be allowed, would it be immoral, to conquer Africa? Would anyone try to stop them, successfully (and on moral grounds or fear of business grounds?)

[Anonymous No.10523854]

>>10523718
Define conquer.

[Anonymous No.10524083]

>>10523854
claim the land their own, offending it and defending it by force, and subsequently do what they want with it

[Anonymous No.10524100]

>>10524083
If it's military force it's a no-no. If it's economical force it's okay.

[Anonymous No.10524185]

>>10501123
"Once again," he repeated to himself, "there are shapes I won't fold, for folded paper folds folded brains, eats the thoughts, so none remain."

Breathing out, letting the steam out of his heated, exhausted body, his eyes gazed upon his creation. His mouth moaned and head fell back, when he saw, that the fold and shape his hands molded once again took the shape of a unicorn.

She would come later that night. She would return and find the room painted the way he painted it.

His hands refused to follow his dogma and twisted the shadows beyond the windows, forgetting the rule of nature and time.

She arrived and all the unicorn grew fur.

[Anonymous No.10524215]

>>10524100
>If it's military force it's a no-no.
who would stop them? What if all the developed countries banded together to agree to do it? America, China, Russia, Italy, France, Canada, etc. maybe they would go for parts of South America too? or have Brazil help, and then turn against them after?

[Anonymous No.10524631]

>>10524215
Why would they need to do it? What do they win with a military excursion into the third world? Economic domination is a lot more profitable.

[Anonymous No.10524716]

>>10524631
someday will their population reach 2 or 3 or 10 billion?

[Anonymous No.10524902]

Here you are in bed. Unable to move. Dreading the thought of getting up with all these voices and walking agendas in a chorus outside your room. The latest be and end all goal is wrapping up. Soon you'll find out if you made it or just fell short. It doesn't matter though because you've been here. This isn't new territory just cosmetically different. You remember lying in the same bed after you lost your virginity, neither sad nor happy. Just empty. You remember when you got not guilty. Sitting on the steps of the court having a cigarette and feeling a moment past that shall not come again with indifference. The memories keep coming, when you graduated, when you got engaged, when you moved cities.

This is what keeps you here. Not talking to people. Not telling the world. Not caring about the outcome. You desperately don't want to capitulate but what difference will it make. What difference has it ever made?

[Anonymous No.10525133]

How do you write a plot?

I'm not sure how it happened but I've literally forgotten how

The first time I got off easy because I could pick a super formulaic structure but now I can't figure out shit

[Anonymous No.10525393]

>tfw I'm just drunk enough at that perfect sweet spot that the anhedonia recedes and I experience life at what I suspect is a semi-normal level of life actually having color and thickness to it
>tfw I am basically a normie right now
>tfw instead of everything being reduced to atomized grayness, everything is sticking together and mutually supportive and fulsome and colorful and vivid and just browsing /lit/ is a total experience
>tfw drunk me browsing /lit/ is like a normal functiomnal non-busted person browsing /lit/
>tfw I like it and enjoy it

Hello friends!

[Anonymous No.10525398]

I just ate an 11 dollar salad. It was dry but tasty. It was a proud moment, feeling the mealy mash of microgreens, chickpeas, and quinoa struggle down my throat. I think I'll buy another tomorrow, and feel even better for having kept the streak alive. It feels good to stick to my guns.

[Anonymous No.10525426]

>>10523397
nice anon

i identify w this

you, like me, probably want to be a writer because you fancy yourself more intelligent than you are

or, you need adhd meds to stop skimming books, actually internalize them, and channel your spontaneous charm into your so-called passion

[Anonymous No.10525485]

>>10525398
for 11 dollas dat ish betta come wit hard boiled eggs sliced, cherry tomatoes, sunflower seeds, avacado, grapes, onions, peppers, radish slices, chicken, spinach, olives (black, green, greek), shredded cheese, feta cheese, mozzarella cubelets, pickle slices, pita, black beans, brussel sprouts, bean sprouts, water chestnuts, carrots, corn, and a few dressings

[Anonymous No.10525498]

>>10525398
all in all and seriously, good on you and keep it up, eating healthy is fun, rewarding, and have almost instant feel good results

[Anonymous No.10525509]

>>10501123
I want to be a better writer. The problem is when I try to write "better", I just write pretentious garbage. Not every thing a character says needs to be profound or tie into a theme, and not every object in a scene needs a backstory, but I fall into this trap a lot anyways.

I guess I just want to be a more honest and direct writer.

[Anonymous No.10525884]

She didn't hate me. I knew this then, and I grasp it now. And that's what made it so difficult. That there was a neutral space between us. Not this, nor that. A convenient distance, tacitly undefined. She must have been scared of falling to one side or the other. (And why are relationships so often a coin toss?) Scared of leaving what she had which -for all she knew- was a lot, won through tears and sweat.

So she turned me down saying I was "crazy". I was scared back then, because meeting her made me feel I was going mad; but really, that label was an act of kindness. She was being kind to me. Her "crazy" was not the "crazy" I thought of; not a disease. And of all the words that could have been, she chose that. So many worse words out there! It did not make me feel impotent. And I know she felt bad afterwards. Poor, nice girl. I sometimes wished she'd been all cruelty, how she must have shown herself to her friends, not for my safety, but for her own peace. But I know she doubted. That's how she was. And on the last day I saw her, she said goodbye in my direction. And nobody answered. I couldn't, of course; but those assholes, they could have said something to her! She must have felt alone. But also relieved, like I was relieved that, after that whole year, the constant tension, which at times I came to want more than anything in the world, was at an end. No more holding myself from looking in her direction, no more choosing every word and move in the coldest of flames.

Yet, a hope still resides in me. Absurd, that's true. But every time I see her resemblance, panic takes me. At this point I don't think it'll ever go away, unless I find another, much better, which I doubt I will. I might not have the will to let myself fall in love one more time. To try the impossible, from the get go, again. But the hope that by some miracle I'll meet her again, and we will be able to look at each other in the face without shame, and smile at each other instantly, and, with nothing, as disposed by Providence, between us, fall in love; that she could ever love me as deeply as I loved her, and we could dedicate ourselves (in body and mind) to each other. This vain and baseless fantasy persists.

Maybe because she didn't hate me. Because she was kind to me.

[Anonymous No.10525892]

I found out last week that I'm going to get a poem published. Hopefully there's more to come this year.

[Anonymous No.10525900]

>>10501123
I feel no pressure to write at all, and yet I'm well aware I could write something worthy of publishing

[Anonymous No.10525995]

[Anonymous No.10526094]

History was written with an "us versus them" mindset
Now as we become a global society, that "them" we fight is starting to look a lot like "us", so we look for conflict in ourselves instead

[Anonymous No.10526156]

>>10526094
Nah. Not thinking your enemies are monsters is as old as the Mahabharata, the Iliad or the Old Testament. It precedes even the concept of history proper. If anything, the pre-Christian world is characterized by such types of resignation.

[Anonymous No.10526222]

>>10501123
Why do I have to glare at my persona, every time that my professors tells me I can make it into the world of teaching at a university.

I'm no one to be given the honor of such title. I might understand some concepts a little better than my classmates,but that Is from sheer time spent trying to understand the concepts. Every time that a professor tells me I can make it,they only remind me of how incapable I am of accomplishing such a thing.

My passion is teaching, it fills me with joy every time I see the glare in someone's eyes, when they finally grasp the concept they previously did not understand. But when I'm alone I know that I will never be a great professor that formulates new ideas and teaches them to student's. And that break's my heart so deeply and painfully that all aspirations of teaching just drift away and cesses to exist. And that affects my interest in reading, frustrating me even more to the point , that whenever I pick up a book I automatically think in why do I do so, either way I will never be a good professor.

[Anonymous No.10526234]

>>10526222
Brah, being good or bad at something has very little to do with some magical property jewel deep inside your vowels that was placed there by God, and all to do with you actually putting in the hours. If your professors tell you you could be a good professor, they probably understand something about you that you don't.

Stop being a bitch and accept that you're good at something.

>teaches them to student's. And that break's my heart
All thing's consider though...

[Anonymous No.10526237]

Where's the pic of babby's first existential crisis?

[Anonymous No.10526238]

>>10503089
I feel like lack of ambition is still worse than too much. Better to fly too close to the sun than to never see the light. Hell, what do I know? I'm just somebody who's currently in a rut. I don't know whether I'm wasted potential or destined to fail. Whichever it is, I wish good luck to you and your endeavors, but I hope you don't take for granted the ambition you have. :)

[Anonymous No.10526248]

>>10526234
Thanks anon

[Anonymous No.10526253]

>>10501123
a hat

[Anonymous No.10526265]

>>10503541
Good luck

[Anonymous No.10527011]

[Anonymous No.10527144]

>>10502202
even worse. it's commissioned by the greedy market that the government is absolutely fine with.

[Anonymous No.10527418]

>>10501914
they are

[Anonymous No.10527663]

The history of philosophy is the new meta-language. The proccess of meta-ization mimmics the stages of brain development in children. Neo-postmodernism deconstructed the meta-language when it was born. Future Derrida dies from the carcass of intelligence, is truth, and anti-metaizes the problem to begin with.

[Anonymous No.10527669]

>>10527144
you dont want the government to say: You cant make those books; slippery slope et al

[Anonymous No.10528200]

[Anonymous No.10528285]

>>10525393
I love that feel, anon. I drink fairly often, but not so often that I get bored of getting drunk. Check out /ck/ sometime, we've got a threat there called al/ck/ or something like that, admittedly I'm pretty new to /ck/ in general but it's pretty cool. Great place for alcoholics, of which I am one. Struggling to get back to drinking 'every 3-4 days' after the holidays. Got COMPLETELY loaded 5 times between the 23rd and 31st, 9 days. Anyways, I drank on the 10th just 2 days ago but it's looking like I'll be drinking tonight. The cravings have been hitting me hard since the holidays.

[Anonymous No.10528348]

I'm off to go meet lots of people for a night out, a couple of whom I made a bad first impression on a while ago. I don't socialise much: I'm making myself do this. Despite feeling like I'm definitely gonna regret it, I know that a greater regret would come in not having tried. I only know one of the people I'm going to see, and it's her birthday so she probably won't have much time for me.

Time to make some good first impressions.

[Anonymous No.10528362]

>>10528348
The reason I don't know enough people is because I don't go out enough, and the reason I don't go out enough is because I don't know enough people. A few nights of awkwardness are necessary.

[Anonymous No.10528378]

>>10528348
Speaking from experience, being self-centered is the main obstacle here, which you probably are. I think it's a natural side-effect of lack of social interaction. I don't know what to suggest as a remedy, though. You're right that you should be going out and socializing.

[Anonymous No.10528401]

>>10528378
You're very right. I prefer the diagnosis of 'self-centred' over 'selfish' though, which is what I thought I was for a while. It's not that I particularly dislike people, it's that I struggle to want to care about them, cos I rarely know them well enough to know what's interesting about them.

I've bought some alcohol and mixers. Hopefully that's enough of a selfless icebreaker >.<

[Anonymous No.10528413]

>>10528401
>It's not that I particularly dislike people, it's that I struggle to want to care about them, cos I rarely know them well enough to know what's interesting about them.
Yeah, I can identify with that.

[Anonymous No.10528420]

>>10528413
Thanks, anon. I was/am a bit nervous. These threads are like an Agony Aunt column. I'm off now.

[Anonymous No.10528427]

>>10528420
Have fun.

[Anonymous No.10528612]

There are countless mirrors, in chaotic array, between us and the world.

[Anonymous No.10530972]

>>10528612
you plan on shattering any?

[Anonymous No.10532364]

>>10502059
Why must you hurt me like this.

[Anonymous No.10533513]

All deaths and all ejaculations (genital and verbal alike) carry implicitly an attitude of finitude, of the concrete, which they always betray.

[Anonymous No.10533624]

>>10533513
Where can i find more of this?

[Anonymous No.10533809]

>>10533624
My head. It was part of a larger stream of consciousness elucidation which ended on the way in which intellect (as oposed to sensuality) is pure refinement but at the same time more cruel than brutality. If you can spare the patience to wait for me to do some stuff, I might be able to recall some more of it and post it in a while.

[Anonymous No.10533910]

I've been in a bad place for a long time. After shit circumstances in 2016, I still havent recovered and I'm not sure I want too. If I move on I will feel as though I'm abandoning my old self and ideals, but I cant re-adopt them because of the painful memories attatched. I have been at a back and forth with myself over whether I should try and start again or just end it all. And its a complete 50/50 split. The stalemate has really done a number on my life and made everything worse but I'm still no closer to chosing. People just say "get help" and I have been for years now but they cant make the decision for me. I'm completely stuck and I'm burned out from constant self conflict. It never ends. My personality has rotted away, I put myself in a corner future wise and just in general I have fucked myself over. Yet I still cant say goodbye to the past or the future and I have to pick one.

[Anonymous No.10533961]

>>10533809
I will wait for your post

[Anonymous No.10534298]

Content: Nothing New

I have long accepted that my actions are a self-aggrandizing stage show for my own amusement in the vacuous void of reality. It’s a stage show that is all too Real, mine Einzige being the role of the hands climbing endlessly to strangle a god. As overly-dramatic introductions go, it is only so that my own internal counsel can appear as tenuous and struggled, yet expressive and self-aware.
A phenomenology of my memory, experiences, actions, and related philosophical indulgences, albeit broken, deemed unreliable by most of academic circles as “mere anecdote,” is my History of “I.”

“I” don’t exist, so in that, I can begin to build.

[Anonymous No.10534543]

>>10533961
[Well, I ended up expanding upon it quite a lot, so thanks. Criticism would be very welcome.]

There are no words without previous words; likewise, there no life-forms without previous life-forms. This is the old egg/chicken problem, but the way that is usually conceived is not all there is to it. It would be very easy to take the problem literally and say: "the egg came first, because once there was a bird that was not yet a chicken that produced a chicken." Or: "once there were birds that didn't lay egg that birthed a bird that did." But that would result in the problem shifting to where exactly the chicken and the egg start. (Here, nominal relativism fails to account for the constancy of the sign to point to its referent; that statements aren't eternal/total doesn't equate to them not being valid, so in that light relativism becomes an inverted perennialism. For statements to necessitate eternal/total validity they would need to refer to something that is eternal. So relativism isn't applicable to transient life, and where it could rise an objection is precisely where it would be inherently invalid. Regardless, the capacity of the sign to point to its referent is not even addressed in all this; both its effective ability to do it (how it does it) and what it is that makes it possible (how it is that it does it). And it remains obvious that the sign is pointing to something, be it a memory or a concept or idea, what-have-you, that is outside itself, and we recognize that as existing on whatever form, otherwise the sign would not function at all.)

Here I take after Hegel in granting the ability to do such seemingly abrupt distinctions to the imagination. Despite what experience or culture might tell you, sensual experience isn't often abrupt. (In fact, it always aims not to be abrupt, but to sense all it can. This is another similarity it has with "death", with dissemination and being "dead", being like in dreams, in a world that goes on forever, which one can always dig into. Death as a form of release, which distinguished from freedom becomes a form of bondage, cannot be cruel like the intellect can be. The highest form of cruelty always has a frigid, unreactive, almost spiritual component to it; it’s nothing in the sense of a passionate revenge. It’s precisely it being dispassionate as much as possible that it is cruel. In continuous abuse the passionate elements aren’t the means or the ends but purely a surplus that could easily not be there; in fact, it would be even more evil for them not to be there.)

cont.

[Anonymous No.10534555]

>>10534543
Rather, sense experience can distinguish only when it has a middle that it disregards between the two poles. If we inspect the color wheel we’ll see that there’s an interminable amount of graduation between one color and the other. Only with some distance can we distinguish between colors. And this is how we sense in general, i.e. generally, with “a feeling”, not a concrete thing, but a [sixth] sense of the whole. It’s only a later movement that can classify the color patterns into specific delimitations. But our perception of them, or of anything else, is not limited. It can always be linked or extrapolated. So it always lacks the abruptness of intellect. Unconsciousness is always already present; it doesn’t go by unperceived, but unaccounted for. Distractions, distentions are those things we already recognize and know about. So death and ejaculation are forms of the distention of consciousness. As such they are never finite.

This is why I can’t agree to the dichotomy of the Apollonian and Dionysian: because abstaining from the thing is more a characteristic of the latter, while the former is precisely aiming for configurations in which abstinence is impossible, in which everything is severed and measured to the point where it cannot be any more. The problem is that one can severe and measure ad infinitum, but severing and measuring are what do away with the infinite, yet, paradoxically, are themselves infinite; and once again it’s not an issue of their nature, if we were to say that they are of the same infinitude, but precisely *how* it can be distinguished from it, if this is the absolute nature of the world we’re referring to. So infinity must be a lie, a form of death and defeat, and the real character of life is not the Dionysian “drive”, but more the Apollonian which tends to what is concrete, real, measured, Truth being precious because it is what it is without anything else, without dressings, without protections.

[Anonymous No.10535464]

I don't know whether I should write in English or in my native language. Some thoughts, concepts and ideas come naturally in English. My thought process and the discussions I hold within my own mind are in English. It can be a layer of privacy to what I write, to make sure its only me who can read it and understand it inside my house.

[Anonymous No.10535475]

>>10528285
Please stop doing that to yourself. I don't know you but it makes me sad and I wish I could help.

[Anonymous No.10535904]

>>10535475
At least I don't smoke cigarettes or do drugs. I've been drinking heavily since early 2013, and for 3 years I had been drinking basically every night to intoxication. Thankfully since around early-mid 2016 I've cut it down to every 2-3 days, and in 2017 I had eventually widdled it down to every 3-4 days. I went heavy on it during the holidays in celebration, as mentioned, 5 times in 9 days which is more than once every 2 days. It seems to have revved up my cravings, sort of like the celebrations I had in early July of 2017. Things were rough after that, I was getting short on money and was having a hard time maintaining booze. I've gone 4 days straight without drinking on a few rare occasions, and I always felt proud from it. Saves a good chunk of change. Ultimately though, even if I COULD just 'stop drinking', I wouldn't want to.

I love it, I love being drunk, and even if I could completely turn off the cravings I'd still drink at LEAST once a week. In drinking every 3-4 days like I had been in late 2017 before the holidays, that's basically drinking twice a week, maybe 3 times a week if the week starts and ends with a drinking night, but usually just twice a week. That seems perfectly acceptable, and I also think it's acceptable to drink heavily during times of celebration. Is it healthy? Fuck no, and as we can see, it's not good for alcoholics to do because then we want to drink that heavily ALL the time, but my willpower will triumph. I'll be back to drinking every 3-4 days by February at the latest, mark my words. I appreciate your worry, but I'm still a young man, not yet 30. Still in my 'party years', and I dare say they will continue even after I hit 30. Perhaps at 35-40 years old I'll consider bringing it down to only once a week, but that's about as low as I'm willing to go. Alcohol feels too damn good to give up entirely.

Call it a crutch for life issues if you want, it doesn't matter. I enjoy it, and the only other drugs I take besides alcohol are caffeine and occasionally ibuprofen (off-the-shelf mild painkillers, which I don't use very often and ALWAYS stay within the bounds of what the label says when I do). I'd rather be an alcoholic than a tobacco smoker, and I don't miss my stoner days. I tried getting high just a few days ago in act, first time in months, second or third time since around 2014-15 so on average I might toke once a year, but I definitely didn't like it as much as alcohol. I only had 2 good hits, just a joint, not even a bong. I was BLITZED, and didn't really like it too much. I found I couldn't think, but with drinking, I basically have to approach alcohol poisoning before I can't think at all. I like being able to think, at least to some degree.

[Anonymous No.10536653]

>>10535464
What's your native language?