/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.10393716]

Write what's on your mind.
I just made a fool of myself for the final time in front of the love of my life.I've been daydreaming about becoming a more disciplined person:studying,going to the gym every other day,maybe making some friends and going out like a normal person.Id like to get to the point i wouldnt be embarassed to open my mouth just with the worry ill spew some rubbish.

[Anonymous No.10393753]

I feel a longing to drop acid/RCs in my parents basement and watch Akira and listen to AFX like the good old days. Back when I had to wake up early and sit in an entire building full of cute girls my age and still somehow ehhhh nevermind the nostalgia probably isn't deserved and now I just feel weird reminiscence for an artificial past where I participated in life. I want off this ride

[Anonymous No.10393774]

Have the suicide plan in place, now all that's left to do is work up the courage. Might take this coward a while, though. Anyway, it's nice to know I have a way out at hand

[Anonymous No.10393791]

>>10393753
That all sounds too good to be true. For some reason I can extract the exact potency that all has. For me it was Lain, but Akira shares the same effect. Only it makes me a little more sorry for you than for me because it is just that much less connected with reality.

How do I escape the sheer repetition of buildings, the fact we all live in them, and the fact the most respectable literary theory is ultimately reducible to a configuration of these buildings and that any movement which exists for the conceptual appreciation above itself is bound to run out at any rate of effort? I'm purely ascetic by all measures so already there brother. Just hoping I'll get the green light from amygdala to slit my wrists with maintained abstinence. I wish I was being hyperbolic.

[Anonymous No.10393805]

>>10393716
Wrong boars my cucked friend. Just follow my friendly direction and you'll be back home in no time >>>/r9k/

[Anonymous No.10394196]

>>10393805
im not being cucked,her lover is dead and i have no hope of getting anywhere ner her.She's about 25 years older than me.

[Anonymous No.10394453]

When I was young, about two, my family and I took a trip to Michigan with my father's parents to meet my mother's parents. One morning, around 9am, my father and grandfather were having coffee on the deck. Both of them had their legs crossed and big smiles on their faces, each Caucasian with varying degrees of darkness, like the creamer in their coffees. A moment of bliss that remains crucial in my memories of youth.

A year or so later, I sat on the bus to attend first grade at a private Catholic school. It was a cold, foggy morning. A friend who I sit near every morning, sometimes talking with him, sometimes not, attempts an argument. "Why do you sit with your legs crossed? You sit like a girl"

My grandfather, the kindest, most humble man I will ever have the pleasure of knowing. A gentleman, with a marriage that lasted 70 years. Seated next to his son, my father, who now had a son of his own. The hardest working man I will ever know for as long as I live. A man who worked his way up from nothing, lost it all, and worked his way up again. Finally in a comfortable point of his life... sharing a morning coffee with his proud father, who nears the most comfortable moments of his life. Each seated, with their legs crossed.

[Anonymous No.10394498]

>>10393791
Wow.

[Anonymous No.10394521]

I have been browsing /lit/ for years, but always ignored this type of thread. Now’s the first time I’ve read one and it seems great actually. The actual "my diary desu" book

[Anonymous No.10394524]

>>10394196
Cucked out of a barren womb by a deadman? You are the omega's omega

[Anonymous No.10394734]

Great, fascinating writing, anons.
But please consider all aspects of life, like Hamlet, before suicide.
You’re better than normies. Look at your writing.
I just lost someone, and it hurts like I can’t believe.

[Anonymous No.10394740]

>>10394453
You sound like you want to fuck your dad and grandpa

[Anonymous No.10394747]

>>10394734
Tell us more,if you want to,of course

[Anonymous No.10394749]

>>10394734
Who did you lose? A close friend? Write about it.

[Anonymous No.10395120]

>tfw have to write an essay due tomorrow but can't stop watching her

[Anonymous No.10395121]

Someone in the last thread mentioned something about there being other websites for having good discussion. Where do you guys go when /lit/ get boring?

[Anonymous No.10395160]

>>10395121
I don't know of any. If there's something very good, it's probably a sekrit klub that wouldn't get posted here.

[Anonymous No.10395324]

Recently, I became a millionaire by buying a cryptocurrency over two years ago. I've dropped out of school, I have no interest in hobbies or seeking romantic relationships and becoming rich has made me more nihilistic than I ever was. I feel nothing, I never had any ambitions and the prospect of working is gone from me. More and more I am becoming Oblomov and Nietzsche's Last Man and I have no clue what to do.There doesn't seem to be any purpose in anything anymore. Is there a cure to this mentality? I'm not suicidal and I like living, but I lack any ambition or desires and I am losing my mind.

[Anonymous No.10395331]

>>10395324
Give me all your money and the struggle merely to survive will reinvigorate your life with a purpose.

[Anonymous No.10395337]

>>10395331
Naaaah.

[Anonymous No.10395342]

>>10395337
It's your only way out m8

[Anonymous No.10395369]

>>10394524
That's fucking hilarious.
>>10393716
On topic, I've realized lately that I'm a deplorable piece of shit and that the main reason my writing sucks is that I write about myself even when I don't know it, and it's always skewed. Whenever I have to help people with writing their own characters it reads back so natural. Yet, if I just put it in my head to come up with characters myself that are nothing like me I just can't do it.

[Anonymous No.10395405]

why cant I just do stuff?

[Anonymous No.10395421]

>>10395342
The problem is that I'd rather feel nihilistic than work. No job has been fulfilling and I've always wanted to just do nothing. But now that I'm actually not doing anything by living a life of leisure, I'm dead. So far, I am living in an Epicureanistic way, living small and without much pleasure, only rewarding myself from time to time (with steak and pizza once a week, not cheese) but I don't feel it's enough.
I'm not interested in travelling the world. I've read enough of philosophy to understand existence. I am misanthropic and don't care for sex or other people. Becoming rich has just left me with the realization that I am nothing.

I just want to be happy but nothing makes me happy anymore.

[Anonymous No.10395424]

>>10395324
You could find a climate to live in that you don't particularly hate, buy a house, and try to find a hobby that you can spend the most of your life improving on. Instruments is a good choice. Maybe woodworking. After all, you have a shit ton of funny money to use.

After that nihilist craze wears off, you might want to try investing the bulk of your money into something that will pay for the future, when you become frail and old.

[Anonymous No.10395490]

>>10395424
I already have a house and the only hobby I have is making youtube videos that are popular and reading. The problem is that I don't feel I'm achieving anything or that it has any long term purpose.
I hope you're right in that the nihilistic craze wears off. It's the most draining aspect of my life right now.

[Anonymous No.10395571]

>>10395120
go to bed Dakota

[Anonymous No.10395580]

>>10395324
Go to the beach, live in a safe 3rd world country like a king for some time. Try to date one of their 16 year old daughters. Buy their hut villagers some supplys. Go to some antique stores. Go to some art galleries. Go to some glory holes. Go to some spas. Learn games. Learn hobbies. Find friends with similar interests. Find lovers. Find a real wife.

[Anonymous No.10395591]

>>10395490
>is making youtube videos that are popular
stop trolling

[Anonymous No.10395660]

>>10395121
bump

[Anonymous No.10395667]

>>10393774
Isn't it ridiculous when people deride suicide as "cowardly"?

[Anonymous No.10395671]

>>10395667
It might not be cowardly, but neither is it brave, not any more than following the directions of voices in your head is brave.

[Anonymous No.10395684]

>>10395591
I’m serious.
My videos are relatively popular and they’re my only hobby.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC369tuuB7o1e-5zv4v4Fz4g

[Anonymous No.10395765]

Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing trouble you, everything passes. God alone remains. All creatures of God, move your ears toward Saint Teresa of Avila and listen. Her simplicity like her humbleness rings throughout the world. And each listening heart beats heavily, speaking with desire, responding to imitate these prayerful words. Let nothing disturb you my brothers and sisters, for no light of God’s may pass if we stand in the fog of earthly wishes. Yes, His light shines upon all that He creates, but it is we, sons and daughters of Adam, that wrongfully stay in the fog of our sinful way. May we be strong Lord. Guide us through the disturbances of sin, so that we may be in you. Free us from the binds of our troubles. Put us in your infinite comfort, free our minds from strains of everyday life.
Soften our hearts; they work too fast. I speak for all. We must slow down. We know you to be a most patient being. From the scriptures, a day is of a thousand years, alas even then Father, we are not patient with you. Of your creations, death is upon. The trees shall rot, we shall pass, and the sun shall cease. Everything passes, but this is an inevitability. We are blessed with a warrant to live right, a chance to end our rejection of you. Though the world in which we live is finite, only of worthiness, will we live in your kingdom by the eternal life granted to us by your son, Jesus the Christ our Lord.
It is only the Lord that remains. It was only the Word. It was only God. It was only the Word with God and they were one in the same. From He, sprung out all creation. The Word of the Lord remains from the beginning to the end. God is the Alpha and the Omega, timeless with the Word that ceases to halt. Knowing God in this way, we know our stories of man shall end. Our word will be cut short, but its end will be perfected by our everlasting God. He transcends all that disturbs, all that troubles, all that passes. He will remain with us, in us, us in Him.

[Anonymous No.10395781]

Someone jokingly compared me to Prince Myshkin and now I want to fucking die.

[Anonymous No.10395782]

>>10395765
fucking 4chan, sorry for the no paragraphs fellas.
>P1: Let nothing disturb you.

>P2: Soften our hearts.

>P3: It is only the Lord that remains.

[Anonymous No.10395788]

>>10395684
alright, I take it back then. Keep it up. But dont go whining about your problems to many people who are in the same boat as you minus millions. I dont entirely mean that seriously, and dont entirely care, but you should be able to figure things out, since you now have a leg or more up on the world.

[Anonymous No.10395789]

>>10395121
http://onlinephilosophyclub.com/forums/

[Anonymous No.10395798]

>>10395121
This, also can anyone send me an invite to the Heidegger google group?

[Anonymous No.10395804]

>>10395789
...but do they have memes?

[Anonymous No.10395829]

>>10395804
No but they have names! Better not post anything distasteful

[I have no friends No.10395842]

I just got ghosted by an ugly cunt FUUUCK

what is wrong with me why is everyone else having sex

I'm so fucking horny I'm 24yo and when I'll sort my shit out I'll be like 30 and no longer care about sex I NEED IT NOW

I need PUCCCCCII on my cock now

[Anonymous No.10395873]

>>10395667
It's ungrateful if anything.

[Anonymous No.10395881]

>>10395842
>ugly cunt
>what is wrong with me

[I have no friends No.10395890]

>>10395881
Im tall and good looking and I thought we had chemistry I was flirting with her and then she fucking ghosts me when she's leagues below me what the fuuuuuck

[Anonymous No.10395926]

>>10395890
>tall and handsome
>ghosts me when she's leagues below me
>why is everyone else having sex

This had better be bait, or you should see a psychologist for that BPD

[Anonymous No.10395938]

>>10395829
Ah, that’s why I avoid places with names. Shitposting has landed me in trouble in the past

[Anonymous No.10395942]

>>10395890
I was commenting on you calling her an “ugly cunt” and meant to imply that maybe she ghosted you because of the way your brain works

[Anonymous No.10395944]

>>10395571
I wish.
>ywn have lesbian incest with elle

[Anonymous No.10395960]

>>10395324
sexual tourism is the answer

[Anonymous No.10395976]

>>10395938
??? you can put any name and the posters there are unironically too mentally ill to be dangerous.

[Anonymous No.10395987]

>>10395324
this is me except I'm broke but I invested in now and will be a millionaire in 2018

but there's already nothing that I want or desire

[Anonymous No.10396084]

>>10395324
Become a holy fool. It’s the only way to live if you’re financially secure

[Anonymous No.10396104]

>>10396084
what is a hole fool

[Anonymous No.10396116]

>>10396104

[Anonymous No.10396129]

>>10395976
Dunno breh. Had bad experiences on message boards with names. Safer for me to stick with total anonymity

[Anonymous No.10396663]

any good motivating reasons to do nice some strenuous (to me) writing?

and any tips on how to make myself a more efficient man of initiative and persistence instead of the scatterbrained ponderous sloth personified as I?
also don't kill yourselves suicide fags. the first step is to get over yourself or have a genuine experience with life. listen to some good /mu/core why don't you

[Anonymous No.10396714]

>>10396663
set a daily page goal and tell people to badger you about it. worked for me.

also try not to use social media for anything apart from DMs

[Anonymous No.10396749]

>>10396714
I feel like that can have the adverse effect also though, you start to feel self conscious about your "super impressive big shot" studies and start feeling like quitting instead?
if people talk to me about shit I'm doing personally it kinda makes me feel like it's become an expectation which I don't really like.

and I don't use social media for anything already. I'm a /neet/ hermit

[Anonymous No.10396768]

>>10396749
making it become an expectation is the exact reason to do it, lol. motivation is just personal expectation. all this is is externalising it a bit for if you're lacking in conscientiousness.

you can quit if you want, but then you'll have to admit that to them when they badger you.

it kinda sounds like you're saying 'how do i be motivated without motivation?'

[Anonymous No.10396804]

>>10396768
well everything from within imo. maybe an attitude I have from doing art though, but I feel like that's the way things have to be when it's something that's supposed to be inspired or impulsive.

what you're talking about is getting you to the drawing board in the first place. and I can understand how important that is for writing perhaps. but I don't think it works for me.
what I'm talking about is the wanting.. the appreciation and ingratiation for what I'm doing which I kind of lack.
even if I feel like what I'm doing is good I don't have a lot of compulsion or drive for completion even out of personal satisfaction.

I just need the spark to create and being efficient which I don't have because of my stress-less chronic boredom.

[Anonymous No.10396830]

>>10396804
i dont believe it's all from within, mostly cos if you define 'within' as your consciousness then you have to introduce a definition of consciousness, and i think any definition of consciousness has to be some kind of mind & body entanglement (what 'thought' lets you move a limb?), in which case it's absurd to say the body isn't affected by the outside world, and hence absurd to say it's all from within.

i also dont think inspiration is real but this is already too tangential.

If you think it's all from within, then wtf are you doing posting here?

[Anonymous No.10396859]

>>10396830
>
HAH?
WHAT'S THAT? I DIDN'T QUITE CATCH THAT

seriously are all you guys just overthinking spergs or something?
what about some self-discipline or self-driven motivation did you find difficult to interpret? I see your point but how can you find that so important?
are you one of those guys that think self improvement isn't real or something?

you don't have to treat everything like a philosophical debate you know

[Anonymous No.10396896]

>>10396859
self-improvement is real but it doesnt have to be entirely self-sourced. i dont have much difficulty with self-discipline/motivation. I was under the impression that you did, since you were the one who asked about motivation.

i dont know how you can dismiss what im saying so quickly when this process has let me write 400 pages or so. isnt that what you're looking for?


keeping in theme with the thread:
there are a bunch 18 yr old girls literally literally pillow-fighting and giggling really loudly about 10m away from me (through a wall or two). i dont have an erection

[Anonymous No.10396915]

>>10393716
OP, I think you need to do as I'm doing, or by the sounds of it you must continue to do as I do. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, even if you'd much rather just stay home, take opportunities to go out and socialize. I've been wishing to learn of religions and so for the past month and a half or so I've been going to some Christian groups. I've been learning a lot of the Bible and of Jesus' teachings, the Christian view of the Old Testament vs the New, and all the while I've been learning I've also been conversing, asking questions, and giving my own views on things. Some are disliked, naturally, since I'm Conservative and I live in a VERY Liberal/leftist location right now but all the same many times I've been complimented on my insight, intelligence, and how well articulated I tend to be. I've been told I'm very well-spoken.

Cringy things might happen, if you're anything like me then when it's all over and you get home some part of your mind will be terrified that you completely fucked up just don't know how even if the rest of your mind thinks it all went splendidly. Just know that time passes, and whatever fuck-ups you make, as long as they're not life-ending or life-destroying, it'll likely be a thing of the past in weeks or months or years. Ultimately, the more you practice socializing the better you'll get. If you just avoid socializing for years then you'll never improve.

As for what's on MY mind...

I've gotten some book sales but they've been arriving quite slowly, hoping I'll get more in time, and this ghostwriting project I'm working on right now is going quite well and I'm getting along well with the buyer in our messages to one another so hopefully if all goes well there'll be repeat business and hopefully he makes some money off my writings so that I can make more money via writing for him. Going to get a promotional thing set up soon for around Christmastime or New Years, hoping that'll result in a healthy spike in sales. Still waiting on feedback from my first attempt at non-fiction, I think it probably could have been done better but all the same has a lot of facts, statistics, and even News stories in it. I fucking love the title.

[Anonymous No.10396931]

I have this problem recently that I either not pick up a book during months or i get so immersed that I read it in one setting. I used to read every day but I'm no longer able to do so. I blame the internet and the ubiquity of smartphones, but in the end it's just my fault. Oh well.

[Anonymous No.10396953]

I make a fool of myself in front of anyone I love. I cannot maintain relationships, friendships even, because the more time I spend with someone the less they like me.

I can see where I've gone wrong, and yet, I cannot do anything to reconfigure my mind. I love where I've gone wrong.

I am a Holden Caulfield-Ignatius Reilly sort of asshole and I can never seem to reason my way out of it.

[Anonymous No.10396961]

>>10396953
Kill yourself, that should solve it.

[Anonymous No.10396980]

>>10396896
I get completely get both of your points, me coming here to ask about it in the first place and us being creatures of habit. but I was maybe thinking more along the lines of a mind trick, some incentive or maybe cheekily trying to garner some encouragement I guess.

but I guess as person what I really do want is some crouching tiger hidden dragon level shit, where I just live life like a straight line fueled by nothing but asian contemplative wisdom and my personal desires.

I don't really have anyone that cares about me like that anyway. I have no support system which is why it's difficult to care I guess. but I'm alright with being a stoic person if I can just find a personal center in myself or whatever.
maybe I should start meditating

>there are a bunch 18 yr old girls literally literally pillow-fighting and giggling really loudly about 10m away from me (through a wall or two). i dont have an erection
I'd give you the advice Jung's patient gave him in the freud/jung movie adaptation tbqh. embrace your carnal self

[Anonymous No.10396996]

You don't know me. I don't know you, or want to know you.

Don't give me advice on how to better myself when I have no fucking clue if your nose points upwards or 37 degrees southwest.

What do you want from me besides an icebreaker for people you'll never meet.

[Anonymous No.10397017]

All I have left is who I am and you take that too.

I see it though, even if no one else does. The patronizing down-talking, taking any opportunity to tell me why you know more about my life than I do.

I really hope it doesn't give you any value. Any sense of fulfillment. I hope you mimic and mock me until the day you die and regret every second of it.

[Anonymous No.10397029]

I can't tell whether I'm just a bitch or not but either way everything is fucked.

[Anonymous No.10397114]

I always feel so fucking filthy.

[Anonymous No.10397205]

>>10397114
And while this is partially due to insecurity, I think it's a bigger symptom of the fact that I cling desperately to vague artistic ideals instead of taking life for what it is. In my head, art is this sacred, fragile thing under constant threat from all the unsavory parts of life, so whenever I feel gross, it's as if I've played a role in destroying what I love. The solution then is to adjust my values, and stop isolating art as some kind of divine phenomenon separate from all other existence. I just don't know where else to go, since art is all I've ever cared about.

I'm gonna die alone.

[Anonymous No.10397209]

>>10397205
>I'm gonna die alone

We all are.

[Anonymous No.10397269]

I was happy last night. Then I messaged a girl in an act of confidence. She, of course, hasn't replied. Joy of joys, I suppose. If only I could be like Tancredi, how sweet life would be.

I'm not sure why I expected any different. Drink has that effect, I suppose. I feel embarrassed, humiliated, ashamed. I shouldn't - I'm exaggerating. All my friends have told me so already. However, it is what it is.

I have no idea of her interest in me, if any. My friend, or who I thought was my friend, came up to me today to see if there was any 'beef' as I may've thought he liked her, and therefore I disliked him. Is this really what my character indicates? Is this really the person people think I am, that I would be so bitter over a woman? But, continuing, he explained that she had spoken about me (well, I suppose it's better than total indifference) but didn't say for certain whether she was interested. I suspect the answer is no. I never expect any different, but that is my pessimism shining through. The fact she hasn't replied is probably a dead giveaway.

How sweet life would be, if you made no mistakes, and had no embarrassing moments. One for memory. One for next time.

I am going to sleep. I know one day I'll wake up next to a lover (I still have that optimism, shockingly!), I just don't know when. But for now, goodnight /lit/. Sleep well.

[Anonymous No.10397287]

>>10397209
Possibly, yeah. It's still better to regard yourself as a wayward normalfag, though, since you've already got a full path laid out for you. Technology makes it very easy to get caught up in your own thoughts and build up your ego, and I think a big challenge for many people here is to resist that draw, lest you end up wallowing in sadness on /r9k/.

[Anonymous No.10397307]

>>10393791
> I wish I was being hyperbolic.
t. hypochondria

[Anonymous No.10397323]

>>10395789
goodbye /lit/

[Anonymous No.10397325]

>>10397209
Me too

[Anonymous No.10397338]

My cousin was flirting with me the other day
She had some ecstacy and marijuana so it's understandable but still pretty weird

[Anonymous No.10397429]

>>10397287
>yeah
>regard
>m
>y
>a
>ss
>on /r9k/

[Anonymous No.10397435]

>>10397429
wat

[Anonymous No.10397436]

>>10397338
>Myc
>was
>o
>s
>cy

[Anonymous No.10397442]

>>10397435
>a
>w
>t

[Anonymous No.10397448]

>>10397436
The fuck meme is this dude

[Anonymous No.10397457]

>>10397448
>meme
>d

[Anonymous No.10397472]

you all sound like fake hollow carictures of simple emo sitcom tweens

[Anonymous No.10397478]

>>10393716
I have felt that way before, afraid to say anything. I forced myself to stop caring about others perception of me. People feel comfortable with truth and honesty, even though it doesnt always seem so. You will feel much better if you dont fear yourself, the truth will set you free.

[Anonymous No.10397544]

>>10393716
I'm content again. It's the sort of contentness I only have when I'm pulling my life together. I'm starting to read more, loving what I'm reading, studying harder and doing better in class, it's really relaxing and wonderful. I don't know why I keep letting myself fall out from this contentness into disarray and instant gratification. I suppose it's just a weakness of character. I'll have to work on that.

In a few months time I'm going to be tested to see if I have what it takes to have my dream job, as a pilot in the military. It's very competitive but somehow I'm very hopeful that I'll make it. Life is good, thanks for reading my blog post.

[Anonymous No.10397608]

>>10397029
You’re not a bitch

[Anonymous No.10397618]

>>10397269
>>10394453
>>10395324
>>10395421
>>10396915

I enjoyed reading these, thanks for sharing.

>>10396931
I'm in the exact same situation

[Anonymous No.10397619]

>>10397472
no u

[Anonymous No.10397671]

I'm reading something I wrote when I was 13 and it doesn't make any sense.
>smooth jazz permeating from a single point of non-existence
Wat.

[Anonymous No.10397680]

>>10397671
There was the sound of jazz playing from out of a place you did not know wherefrom.

[Anonymous No.10397701]

Just got my first paperback sale in Europe since I think summer, very nice.

[Anonymous No.10397730]

This has been the worst year for memes in my 7 years of being here. Nothing but Pickle Rick and Wojak derivatives and Sneed's Feed and Seed.

[Anonymous No.10397733]

>>10397205
I think you need to re-evaluate your idea of what art is. Andy Warhol and a bunch of other fags pissed on a canvas covered in copper paint, turned the paint blue where the piss landed, and now that's in the fucking Boston Museum of Fine Art. GG Allin threw his own shit at people at his concerts and he still has a cult following decades after his death. People in North America study bad translations of continental philosophers and infer all kinds of meanings and perspectives that were never there in the original. It's hilarious and absurd, but not sacred by any stretch.

[Anonymous No.10397755]

What can I say? I’m not depraved enough to be considered interesting by the wider world, let alone /lit/. I have a good job that lets me travel. I have a girlfriend who really does her best to take care of me. I don’t have many friends because I never stay anywhere for too long. I feel lucky but I am not sure if I deserve it. On the one hand, I’m always feeling like I’m running away from a forest fire, like if I pause for a moment I’ll get caught in the wreckage I’m always leaving behind. On the other, things inevitably work out. I don’t know why. I’m always on the brink of failure, but then something comes down to save me. I can’t put it any other way. I was rejected from this job initially, but then a previous candidate dropped out and here I am. I almost didn’t graduate from university because a friend let me down in a major project, but then I was able to scramble and put it together myself. I work hard, but I’m definitely not perfect. So why do I deserve anything good? I’m typing this from Japan at the moment. I’m only 25 and my life has been more varied and interesting than my mother’s. My father is a different story. Anyways, I’m only telling you this because you prompted me too.

[Anonymous No.10397763]

I can’t communicate effectively and it leads to feelings of isolation and alienation. People assume the worst about me because I don’t use my words effectively. I’ve worked on this in therapy in the past but I question how effectively I’ve implemented this into my daily life.
I feel like I’m at the end of my rope. I’m tired of feeling alone.

[Anonymous No.10397800]

I do not feel anymore.

That doesn’t includes feelings like pain, cold, hot or something like that.I mean I can’t feel happy, I cant get excited about anything, nothing interests me.This comes from a simple truth I’ve come to: nothing really important actually matters, so I go with my life just passing by.There is this feeling that I’m just going through the motions, not thinking and not experiencing anything. Like an animal, being idle and not smart.

Everything passes, also I’m too sensitive to negative information, which I definitely don’t approve
My english has gotten worse,I just can’t express myself so clearly as I used to, which is also bad

:|

[Anonymous No.10397834]

>>10397671
thats the best thing ive read in a bit, post more.

Scientists discover a cubic picometer of space that is inexplicably emitting smooth jazz (human composed: unknown). Its like, imagine if in 2001 space odyssey, the monolith permeated smooth jazz, would have been a lot better movie)

[Anonymous No.10397837]

>>10397763
Just to add to this, I have a crippling fear of intimacy. It leads me to push away nearly everyone. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm past the age where this kind of thing is compelling, if any such age exists.
My soul feels exhausted. I've been in therapy. I've been physically active, I've read, I've tried alternative treatments, I've traveled, etc.
Nothing helps and I feel like I have nowhere to turn.

[Anonymous No.10397838]

>>10397834
Bizarre and incongruous doesn't mean better.

[Anonymous No.10397896]

>>10397834
glad I could inspire you but the rest of it is just bizarre free association shit

[Anonymous No.10397899]

>>10397834
I really like that concept. I like the idea of teams of thousands or millions of scientists, religious leaders and laymen all trying to make sense of this one completely nonsensical impossible jazz emitter in a universe where everything else is ordered.

If I knew how to write I'd create a short story about it

[Anonymous No.10398051]

>>10396915
to tell the thruth would be to tell her i love her,which i think would be near like destroying
i want to do it,however im still in search for the courage i have never had

[Anonymous No.10398058]

>>10397800
Do you have a history of depression?

>>10397544
It made me feel good to read this. I admire you.

>>10397763
>>10397837
Pic related.

[Anonymous No.10398080]

>>10397800
Yep. And also anxiety. I kinda don’t feel them( the depr. and anxiety)as I used, it almost seems as they’re cured, but it’s weirder now, being a bit mindless and very numb

[Anonymous No.10398088]

>>10398058
>>10398080
Sorry, I (you)’d the wrong one

[Anonymous No.10398092]

I think I worry too much about how my writing sounds instead of focusing on what I'm saying. I suck at writing a decent story.

[Anonymous No.10398116]

>>10398058
>I admire you

You really shouldn't.

[Anonymous No.10398157]

my twitter feed is extremely racist. your twitter feed should reflect your personality but i feel alienated by it. i think i fell victim to the reactive thing where some smarmy pussy says "check this out: Hitler is bad and if you like hitler you're bad" so you think "this hitler guy must have done something right for this smug fag to hate him"

but actually hitler was kind of a dick

>>10397114
tried bathing? showers are good, they're fast and refreshing

[Anonymous No.10398179]

>>10394498
>Wow.
Yeah no I'm really fucked up.

[Anonymous No.10398187]

>>10398116
Too late. I'm jealous that you feel content. It's something I haven't felt in quite some time, regardless of what I do.
I often feel as though I'm in pursuit of an ever-receding horizon. There is a restlessness fundamental to my character that makes me weary.
These are my posts if you can offer any insight:
>>10397837
>>10397763

[Anonymous No.10398205]

This thread is lit
erature

[Anonymous No.10398222]

>>10398187
>>10397763
>>10397837
I have the same problems as you with communicating effectively and rejecting intimacy but personally it's never really bothered me. I communicating my ideas and intimacy, however rarely I get the chance to indulge in them but I really don't feel the lack of them. I've just never really felt lonely or in need of intimacy, even though I've been alone and isolated pretty much all my life.

As for my contentment, it's rare, and usually doesn't last long, but when it comes it really is wonderful. And it comes after I start pulling my life together and really working on self improvement. Stagnation leads to depression, human life is marked by a constant need for progress, that's how to achieve happiness.

It's important to note though that progress does not necessarily mean economic progress, but progress towards the better you, your ideal self.

[Anonymous No.10398239]

This board is trite and uninspiring.

[Anonymous No.10398245]

>>10398239
>he comes here to be inspired

There's your problem

[Anonymous No.10398253]

>>10398222
>human life is marked by a constant need for progress, that's how to achieve happiness
It's interesting you bring that up. Kanheman's work here is something that resonates with me:
"What if, instead, a person’s actual experience of pleasure or pain could be sampled from moment to moment, and then summed up over time? Kahneman calls this “experienced” well-being, as opposed to the “remembered” well-being that researchers had relied upon. And he found that these two measures of happiness diverge in surprising ways. What makes the “experiencing self” happy is not the same as what makes the “remembering self” happy."
Full thing here: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/27/books/review/thinking-fast-and-slow-by-daniel-kahneman-book-review.html

I would say that my "remembering self" is relatively happy, while I'm not very happy at all when I'm "experiencing" things day-to-day, whether or not they align with my values.

As for intimacy...you sound healthier than me (jealous of you again breh). My fear in this area leads me to evade/lash out at people out of my own cowardice. It's a destructive part of myself, probably my biggest problem. Thanks for your reply, I found your thoughts very helpful.

[Anonymous No.10398381]

>>10398245
>he and people like him make the board uninspiring
There's our problem

[Anonymous No.10398469]

It gave me no fulfillment. It's broken trust and it's fucked up. I don't expect your forgiveness and don't deserve it. I have my own issues that I have to work out right now.

[Anonymous No.10398821]

>>10398381
mote, eye, beam

[Anonymous No.10399014]

I've been having dreams recently in which I have a wife and daughter. I don't believe in marriage and have never wanted to have children. I'm 22, single and live alone. I do not consider myself financially fit or personally qualified to be a father or a husband.

My wife in this dream has a name and face I don't recognize or associate with anyone I know. We live together in a large log house I haven't seen before. When she's not carrying or playing with our daughter, she's humming and painting something. I can never see what she's painting. She's usually wearing my clothes, and has a low, soothing voice. The dreams usually end with us laying together on the couch, watching over our daughter.

My daughter is mute, around age 4 or 5, and wears a bell on her wrist so that I can find her. She has extremely long black hair and has to push it aside to speak to me in some broken imitation of sign language. I do not know any form of sign language, but can understand her. She tends to cling to me and follow me around, holding my pant leg and chewing on her thumb. Sometimes she hides and watches me work, but I can hear her bell tinkling from wherever she is.

When I look in the mirror in my dream, my hair is long too, with white streaks, and I'm wearing glasses despite never needing them in reality. To make things that much stranger, I have antlers. Once I've seen my own antlers, my daughter has them too.

When I wake up alone I feel as though I've had something very important taken away from me. It hurts and confuses me sometimes, and that bothers me. I know that I don't actually want any of it, and shouldn't want any of it, but it feels wrong all the same to have to lose it each time. Like I've made some kind of terrible mistake that cost me my family.

[Anonymous No.10399612]

[Anonymous No.10399907]

>>10397733
I only meant art that I like. Instead of cheering me up, it makes me sad that the rest of life isn't as good and doesn't feel meaningful. That is a negative way of thinking, though, and I'm trying to get rid of it.

[Anonymous No.10399921]

I suffer from dysthymia and exhibit lethargy par excellence. The only time I'm able to move around is when the contempt for myself boils over into a nervous rage.

I spent a month of this year in a mental hospital for suicidal ideation and now will probably be taking various SSRIs and antidepressants for the rest of my life.

I cant stand my dumb fucking life. Help me /lit.

[Anonymous No.10399929]

>>10399921
>help me

Read The Ego and Its Own.

[Anonymous No.10399982]

you know what guys I don't even care about having a wife or starting a family or whatever I just want to have a really hot romance with an extremely sexy woman even if it ends abruptly

I hope to fall in love some day

I never been in a loving relationship ever why is my life absolute shit

[Anonymous No.10400008]

>>10399982
same here man

[Anonymous No.10400099]

I'm a smooth talker and people say I look good.
I'm a compulsive liar and I'm constantly hounded by stupid mistakes I made in the past.
I've gotten at least five women to come to bed with me.
I've failed to fuck them like a normal person every single time.
My gf left me recently because I can't fuck her either, she had such patience with me. It ran out.
I hope to fuck I can just get a job after uni so I can dissappear into it and get really good at whatever it is I'll end up doing.

I think I'm not a real person, I'm not sure what to do heh.

[Anonymous No.10400108]

>>10400099
Maybe you're gay or can only achieve orgasm through an act of violence

[Anonymous No.10400181]

>>10400108
both those things sound bad to me

[Anonymous No.10400198]

>>10399014
>I know that I don't actually want any of it
No, you actually do, if subconsciously.

[Anonymous No.10400462]

>>10393716
Wrote this on the last thread w/o realizing there was a new one in response to someone else:
I think /pol/ spreading is the worst thing that's happened to this website; it kills discussions on non-/pol/ boards and it's almost always irrelevant to the topic and derails actual discussion. It takes just one /pol/ troll post in a thread for the whole thing to devolve into a shitty debate or just a troll thread.

[Anonymous No.10400999]

>>10399612

[Anonymous No.10401233]

>>10400462
wrote this in the last thread maybe in response to this post:

Truth knows no bounds

[Anonymous No.10401258]

>>10400462
/pol/tards are a bunch of blockheads

[Anonymous No.10401262]

>>10395667
Suicide can be motivated by pathetic reasons, or not. Calling it cowardly never did anything though, just makes some people feel ashamed for contemplating it at all.

[Anonymous No.10401283]

>>10395324
do some shit in the wilderness that makes a lot of people feel good. if not go and donate everything and have some fun with it, like give a homeless guy some money and see if you could turn his life around. that would be a cool experiment., might give you some purpose too.

[Anonymous No.10401305]

Oofh why do I post such retarded /lit9k/ shit at night I wasn't even inebriated

[Anonymous No.10401352]

Sometimes I try to remember memes before Pepe and my mind goes blank.

[Anonymous No.10401356]

what's a nice book to read when you've broken up with someone?
something to make you feel less fucked up, does it exist?

[Anonymous No.10401360]

>>10401356
What kind of vibes do you want

[Anonymous No.10401372]

>>10401360
something that inspires hope or something like that.
i feel like a silly child and don't want to feel like that.

[Anonymous No.10401374]

things ought to be shit for me, but im having so much fun anyway and it gets only better from here

i love modern times so much

[Anonymous No.10402027]

write whats on my mind? nothing matters

get it? nothing matters is on my mind, matters of nothing, because my mind is empty

[Anonymous No.10402028]

>>10402027
k

[Anonymous No.10402055]

I think I've finally lost the desire to ever have sex again

[Anonymous No.10402133]

>>10402055
What about masturbation?

[Anonymous No.10402137]

>>10402133

Oh I jerk off all the time (rarely to porn). I just see my libido as an irritating urge that needs to be taken care of periodically, like taking a shit or something.

[Anonymous No.10402141]

>>10402055
>I think I've finally lost the desire to ever have sex again
and then a year or 5 will pass, or a few months

[Anonymous No.10402300]

>>10402137
You can always just castrate yourself.

[Anonymous No.10402327]

>>10402300

Too much work

>>10402141

Ive felt like this once before and was afraid I was turning into some kind of weirdo, so I pursued a year-long relationship with a girl. It sucked and I hated it for most of the time even with the steady sex (she was actually very attractive too). Sex has rarely ever gotten me anything good beyond a fleeting sense of satisfaction or victory.

[Anonymous No.10402347]

>>10402327
yeah, well that was your mistake to date a girl (and have a bad time) when all you really wanted was sex. And now partly because of that, you think you dont want any sex. And you could be well and right. So best of luck. Sex isnt that special, just another drug. Not even that good of one, but more hardcorely programmed naturally to be addicted to.

[Anonymous No.10402384]

>>10402347

You're right it was a mistake. But your definition of sex as a drug to be addicted to makes it something that should be sought to be conquered rather than given into.

[Anonymous No.10402443]

>>10402384
well, that is if one is addicted and crazy over it. But people can enjoy glasses of wine without being an alcoholic.

You dated a bottle of wine because you wanted some sips.

[Anonymous No.10402481]

I want to make enough money to support myself and not depend on my parents. But I hate working retail and am ready to swear it off forever.

[Anonymous No.10402529]

>>10393716
New to this board, not sure if this is the right thread to post this in but who cares
Where can I find the illiad and Odyssey online to read free?
I read them back in hs and enjoyed them both and want to reread
>pic for attention

[Anonymous No.10402724]

>>10402529
i cant imagine they would be that hard to find,google it
try libgen.io

[Anonymous No.10402778]

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/6130/6130-h/6130-h.html#toc5

Fitzgerald, Lattimore or Pope. No Fagles

[Anonymous No.10402868]

Is this proper English grammar?

>I’ll be takin’ Sirius his bike back.

[Zxqvqyz Qzxyvwxz No.10402942]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_gHjv3jZJ4

[Anonymous No.10402948]

I'm debating on how much i wqnt to exaggerate (read: lie) on my resume for a part time job. I could easily embellish everything but I am hesitant. I've done it before and have gotten interviews and I want to "update" it and have a bit of fun.

It's like writing fiction where I am the main character.

[Anonymous No.10403478]

I went walking to the carnival just to get some cotton candy and then I saw all the cute girls on the line and so I felt like going on a ride and ended up puking all over the place, fml

[Anonymous No.10404173]

When I am mimicked by someone who understands me I feel an acute sense of grief. It is a breaking of trust but it is also more than that. Along with grief there is an impulse to close myself and lash out. I don't want to close my heart, I've lived that way for too long.

It feels as though the knife was tailor-made for me. I know at some level the person who crafted this knife understands me (maybe better than I understand myself) and, if the circumstances were different, could help me become the person I need to be in order to realize my true potential. I know that they can't do it for me, it's something I need to do for myself.

[Anonymous No.10404264]

>start reading work of philosophy
>immediately go on mental tangents about falling into an ideology or the impossibility of having an original thought
>get anxious and quit
Fuck sakes

[Anonymous No.10404474]

I can't stop thinking (worrying) that authors and most other artists in the near future are are going to be made obsolete by advanced AI that will be capable of producing work indistinguishable from a human's.

What's the point of dedicating your time to mastering a skill if some algorithm will be able to do the same thing a thousand times faster fresh out of the box?

[Anonymous No.10404482]

>>10404474
Creative jobs are generally the last to go; manual labour and number crunching can be done by machines already. All those people out of work, all those billions who lost their jobs because of machines. Whose art are they going to prefer? Art made by machines or humans?
Context matters.

[Anonymous No.10404489]

>>10404474
there won’t be books in the future human subjectivity will be annihilated. there’d be no impetus for recreation. there’s no need to provide entertainment if you convince people they’re biological machines. this is the great crest in the wave of distraction culture. pure utility is coming. humans are already extinct and all these apertures of frivolity are just hemlock to send us off to the shallow graves we dug 100 years ago. They’ll mulch our remains and analyze our genetic material for what it’s worth, but your ideas of the future are anthropomorphic. There’s no reason to preserve anything humane, even the more absurd activities people attach to that could conceivably be instrumentalized to control people are unnecessary. Every push, each year or business cycle that passes launches us exponentially further into the abyss anon. You already died, your kids are already spoken for, i would do heroin every day and fuck as many people as possible. There’s nothing left

[Anonymous No.10404509]

>>10404482
Machines

[Anonymous No.10404576]

>open pdf of ab urbe condita, intent to read it eventually, though I'm still at Herodotus
>458 pages

The ancients really didn't have time to wagecuck