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/lit/ - Literature

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10385563 No.10385563[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>pull up to my Barratt new build home with my 25 year fixed rate mortage in my grey Audi A3 on finance after a hard days work as deputy assistant head of sales targeting
>open the boot and take out my River Island and Superdry bags with the new gear I bought on the way home from work
>open the door
>yell hello to my wife of 2-years in the kitchen as she is already home from her work as a Team Leader in a call centre
>sit down on my leather sofa bought on sale at Sofology (haha I love those adverts, what is that sloth like haha, love sloths me)
>put up my feet on the IKEA table
>whap on the telly and tune in just in time to see Bradders going through the rules of the final chase with the contestants who made it through before they face Anne Hegarty
>perfect timing as my wife comes in with the dinner, another one of Jamie Oliver's cracking 30 minute meals
>tuck in as I pretend to listen to my wife's stories from her day at work
>send a cheeky snap to Smithster and Deano to see if they can come round for the champions league match later to watch it on the ol' Sony Bravia, maybe sneak in a few rounds of Fifa '17 on the PS4 first, bloody Smithster ignoring the rule of no tap-ins what a melt haha

>> No.10385578

>>10385563
>British men are effeminate peasants

Brilliant insight

>> No.10385595

>>10385578
>implying you could ever make the deposit on a 2-bedroom Barratt slave box
U jelly, anon?

>> No.10385626

>his wife works
>as a fucking teamleader

how's the cuckold lifestyle treating you?

>> No.10385663

>>10385563
You forgot >stares at iphone for 4 hours

>> No.10385668

>>10385563
I refuse to believe those kind of posters exist unironically

>> No.10385739
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10385739

>>10385563
>tfw I'm not a disgusting anglo normie

someone just end it please

>> No.10385753
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10385753

>>10385563
>another one of Jamie Oliver's cracking 30 minute meals
>send a cheeky snap to Smithster and Deano to see if they can come round for the champions league match later

>> No.10385763

The Horror