/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.10377509]

write whats on your mind

[Anonymous No.10377646]

>>10377509

I should have known better than to treat angels like magical wish-granting fairies. I am being trolled hard; how hard, I fear I have yet to really grasp.

[Anonymous No.10377651]

>>10377646
more details?

[Anonymous No.10377669]

>>10377651

We have come back from Jerusalem where we found not what we sought.

I, uh, went on a bit of a magical truth-finding expedition in Europe. Was expecting and kind of hoping to just die. Only I actually found something. Can't go into details really. Initiatic secrecy and all that.

[Anonymous No.10377708]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGo_faB5bOQ
(start from:1:02:53 (around 58:00 if you're not a baby)(from the beginning if you like)

[Anonymous No.10377716]

>>10377669
what did you seek in Jerusalem? Magical truth finding expedition in Europe, come on more details. You have to comprehend there is no good point to show everyone in class a plate of cookies, dangle them fresh under everyones nose, and then toss them out the window

[Anonymous No.10377753]

>>10377716

It's the first line of Jung's Septem Sermones ad Mortuos, chummer. And the bit with the cookies is, in fact, quite traditional. But if it helps titillate, I went in search of union with what I believed to be my Holy Guardian Angel, a spirit who I had kept contact with since late 2014. She wasn't, as far as I can tell, and I was nearly destroyed, but that's neither here nor there.

[Anonymous No.10377768]

i want friends
a lot.

thank u that is all

[Anonymous No.10377779]

i have to stop smoking as its exasperating psychotic paranoia that's slowly destroying my quality of life, i don't know how i will deal with sober living as I block out my lack of gf and nearby friends with THC. I've taken up drinking on a nightly basis, alone, in preparation. Also started trying to have casual sex and its making me want to die. Overall I want to be incinerated in holy flames

[Anonymous No.10377793]

I CAN'T get her off mine. I was served by this tall, elegant woman at this local grocery Friday and my God, I want to transform myself from the bottom up just to be good enough for her. I passed my eyes over the whole length of that lithe, vulpine body. Oh, I'm going back alright... and next time I'm going to look her straight into those doe eyes and ask if she's on the menu.

>women

I think there are three great galvanizer to a man's spirit. The first being women and their femininity. The second being the respect/power of men. The third and most uncommon, is gnosis, that is, the love of and for God

[Anonymous No.10377803]

>>10377509
You dumb bitch! How can you say you are available on Sunday and then somehow become unavailable.

[Anonymous No.10377805]

>>10377509
I hope my wife's surgery will be okay. Fucking noncaring doctor's don't help. Almost everything in this world run by the almighty dollar and I hate it the most.

[Anonymous No.10377828]

>>10377509
I dunno what to do with my life. I am a soon-to-be college graduate. I feel very resistant to the idea of working. I've had a few part-time jobs and full-time internships and I know I don't want to spend a significant portion of my life doing that sort of thing. I'm thinking about working from home and/or doing freelance work of some kind. Perhaps then I would have at least a little bit more freedom than if I worked in an office. Of course it wouldn't be ideal, but the world is fucked and I need to support myself somehow.

[Anonymous No.10377926]

I dropped out of sixth form 3 years ago (21 now) and I only leave my parents property once a month or so. I just sit and read in a insulated cuckshed around back. Wouldn't trade this for anything the last few years have been the easiest, most fulfilling years of my life, I don't talk to anyone except myself and only speak to my parents around once a week.
Sure I'm a little sad when I realise I'll probably have a meaningful relationship with a female but works of literary merit are a decent enough substitute besides I have the sky to look at. I'm still young though so maybe the dissatisfaction and regret will only set in when I'm older.
Fuck being around other people though, I can't deal with them I always presume they take a dislike to me immediately even though they're probably just indifferent I still get anxious around them anyway. Still have nightmares about merciless bullying throughout the years before this, I was born a weak cunt and I'll always be one, I've become weaker and more scared of people as I've grown older.
At least this degenerate civilisation lets weak cunts like me enjoy all the prominent works of the entire canon in peace.

[Anonymous No.10378295]

>>10377509
I don't want to be gay anymore.
>my parents say they accept me for who I am but I know they're just saying that to cover up their disappointment that I'll never be like everyone else
>I know being gay is almost certainly something you're just born with but I can't help like I did something wrong to end up like this
>I didn't know what love was until I hugged my last boyfriend for the first time
>I know deep down that spark is something I'll never feel with a woman
>even if I kept up the lie and brought kids into the world I couldn't live with myself for raising them in a loveless relationship
I-I think I need a hug

[Anonymous No.10378323]

>>10377926
1. What are you going to do when your parents die
2. Do you have any hobbies other than reading and vidya
3. What part of Britbongistan are you from out of curiousity

[Anonymous No.10378326]

I truly cannot imagine being in a meaningful romantic relationship. I have had two serious girlfriends and my time spent with both of them was mostly miserable. Are some people just meant to be alone?

[Anonymous No.10378335]

>>10378295
Soldier on and find the guy that can give you that hug.

[Anonymous No.10378361]

>>10378335
Cheers mang, maybe I will. Either that or the good lord will finally hear my prayers and cure me of my unquenchable thirst for fuccbois

[Anonymous No.10378364]

>>10378295
You didn't do anything wrong. Please don't feel bad about it.

Your parents truly love you.

[Anonymous No.10378380]

I want a flat chested /lit/ gf

[Anonymous No.10378385]

gotta piss

[Anonymous No.10378388]

>>10378295
find a really passing trap

[Anonymous No.10378401]

>>10378361
>he good lord will finally hear my prayers
He is closer to you than your next breath is

>unquenchable thirst for fuccbois
oh honey bee, God is the biggest fuccboi of them all, you'll see when you realise who HE is

[Anonymous No.10378528]

>>10377509
I'm too stupid for this world.

[Anonymous No.10378660]

im 2 $mART 4 dis whirld

[Anonymous No.10378878]

>>10378295
Become a monk

[Anonymous No.10378889]

I made accidentally created a sort of popular thread full of weird awful shit on /b

[Anonymous No.10378958]

>>10378889
link dat sh bih

[Anonymous No.10379071]

>>10377753
So, what'd you meet up with? Like an Alien, Demon, AI, the realization that you've been deluding yourself the whole time?

[Anonymous No.10379084]

>>10378295
You can choose not to be gay and slowly reprogram yourself to be straight, asexual at the very least, there is a level of choice even if you are biologically and conditionally grown to incline that way you can work on it if it's seriously not something you want for your life.. or, you could just figure out how to not make their problem "disappointment that you'll never be like everyone else" your problem.

[Anonymous No.10379096]

>>10377509
I want another bite of the apple but my soul can not afford it.

[Anonymous No.10379105]

When you realize that the first of TS Eliot's First Quartets is LITERALLY a copy of St Augustine's Book XI in Confessions... Tom, you fucking madman!

[Anonymous No.10379107]

I'm alone. I'm tired of not having anything that I care to work towards because the lack of anything to do is making me reflect on all of the stuff I rationally should choose to do; Working out, finding a job, education, making myself available so I can start a new relationship, etc. I'm worried, not worried, that waiting around for something to happen to inspire me to want for life is the wrong action but I trust in the part of me that quietly says wait patiently. I'm tired of waiting for something to happen but not frustrated enough to make something happen so I'm in this weird place. this weird in between place.

[Anonymous No.10379111]

I feel like I've matured emotionally faster than everyone else. I never could enjoy the things that could've made me fit in. I even remember forcing myself to listen to top 40 radio, just to listen, to see if it resonated with me. It didn't.

I just want people who'll be good friends. I can't find it anywhere.

[Anonymous No.10379113]

>>10379107
seconded.
i'm in the same place right now.

[Anonymous No.10379114]

>>10379105
Let me carry on... I just spent a week in a monastery. Compline at quarter to eight with the snow falling outside, and the soft smell of candle fire, with the gregorian chants, and the small south american woman singing behind me every night of the week that brought the tears to my eyes... these are the moments I live for.

[Anonymous No.10379116]

>>10378295
dude, its okay man.
its okay to be gay.

[Anonymous No.10379149]

What exactly is an enough amount of work per day that would make me not lazy? This question has tortured for most of my life.

[Anonymous No.10379167]

>>10377803
Because that's how life works

[Anonymous No.10379204]

Just read more books they said. Your grammar and writing will improve they said.

5 years later and here I am. Still is bad at verb tenses and constantly misused words.

I want to die knowing I will never be good at this.

[Anonymous No.10379284]

Can suicide be justified philosophically? I say no, but I don't think it can be condemned either. Something is justified if it's rational, and, for the individual, rational if it ultimately furthers their happiness. But this becomes irrelevant after death. We think suicide can result in a "net gain" of happiness because, on a number line where suffering is negative, we place nonexistence as an equilibrium, or zero, and conclude that the change would therefore be positive. But in a more accurate analogy, suicide would cause the number line to disappear entirely, making comparison impossible. Things can only be rational or irrational in the context of existence, and since the question itself has a scope of both existence and nonexistence, suicide can neither be called "rational" or "irrational." Fuck I just want to off myself

[Anonymous No.10379293]

>>10379284
Killing yourself won't erase the past. What's after death is not necessarily what's before birth. Infrared and ultraviolet aren't the same.

[Anonymous No.10379575]

I'm disappointed how hard it is to find good Cressida Campbell prints you can buy.

[Anonymous No.10379731]

>>10378295
gays get the rope

[Anonymous No.10379801]

My parents are alcoholic because of my failure at college and i hate myself for being the reason they will kill themselves. Also fuck this rotten culture that glorifies sexworkers, juliette club was fucking published while great voices will always be silent. Fuck vice for writing about drugs and sexuality like those are the only things that make us human. Fuck them

[Anonymous No.10379819]

I have the chance to put my peenus weenus into pucci haha but her face...

[Anonymous No.10379860]

whats on your mind
whats on your mind
whats on your mind
whats on your mind
whats on your mind

[Anonymous No.10379873]

>>10379801
>Also fuck this rotten culture that glorifies sexworkers
if you think sexworkers are glorified you clearly have never talked to a single human in your life

[Anonymous No.10380030]

>>10377509
>tfw no literary Jewish gf

[Anonymous No.10380296]

you fucking idiots, you retarded fucking idiots, fuck, fuck, you stupid fucking piece of shit faggot fucking retarded fucking shitty faggot fucking fart sucking fucking faggot retarded stupid fucking retarded idiots, you fucking piece of retarded fucking faggotry, you fucking shit fucking retarded faggot licking cunt whiffing testicle kissing piece of retarded fucking shit you fucking idiotic retarded fucking faggot shit fucker cunt scum clit dick retarded fucking schmuck

[Anonymous No.10380330]

>>10379284
lel
u always kill urself 2 late my dude

[Anonymous No.10380400]

It was the 25th of october when i started talking with someone i dearly loved, my now boyfriend.
We came to know each other through a Discord group about shitposting and other great hobbies such as playing games with flat chested chinese cartoon girls and unclothed milfs. On that day me and him started to talk about degeneracy and surprise surprise, we both liked things that were, a bit out of the ordinary.
So we started linking each other links to sites about unimaginable filthy things and giggled about it as the moderators of the group threw a hissyfit. We ended up on each others DM's and started talking more and more, it didn't take us long to realize that we had more in common than just the love for masters and pets, we both loved strategy games and same kinds of books.
We talked and talked for hours daily, linked each other porn, books and video games that the other could enjoy. talked about cuddling and the gayest romantic shit you could imagine and the most degenerate stereotypical kink shit you would vomit at.
There was one problem, he lives in the UK, i live in finland.
I have no job, i'm a student for a degree that is useless, i have no talents or skills.
I will never be actually good enough for him, and it's not like either of us could just fly over to visit.
Now i'm here, someone who thought that long -distance releationships were a joke, now fallen into one.
I am desperately in love with him and no matter how much i say it to him and how much he tells me how he loves me too and that we will eventually meet, i can't think about anything but him getting snatched away some who is just better than me.
He was the first one who i opened up to about depression and personal stuff that i never could tell about to anyone else, he did the same.
Am i fucked /lit/?

[Anonymous No.10380419]

>>10380400
Connect with people irl

[Anonymous No.10380426]

fish

[Anonymous No.10380468]

why everyone in my country keeps saying "why aren't pepole reading anymore" but they keep rising the prices on books,they are so high in fact that it would be easier to go and see the movie,in 3d.
Fuck me sideways.

[Anonymous No.10380508]

Tryna get some writing done so this here freewriting might help to get the juices flowing. Gonna be German though, sry anglos.

Die Entscheidung war getroffen: er würde alles ändern müssen. Die Go-Cartbahn, von Generation zu Generation (tatsächlich auch wirklich von einer zur anderen: länger gab es die Halle noch nicht) in der Familie weitergegeben, er fand darin keine Erfüllung. Die rotzig ratternden Motoren gaben ihm nicht den selben Kick, verschafften ihm nicht das selbe Hochgefühl, dass das Herz seines Vaters damals hatte so hoch schlagen lassen, dass er schlussendlich an einem Infarkt starb. Sebastian wollte nicht den Rest seiner Tage zwischen Miniaturrennwagen für Miniaturmenschen verbringen, er träumte von größerem: singen wollte er. Schon als kleines Kind, mit drei oder vier Jahren, hatte er das Singen für sich entdeckt. Im permanenten Lärm der Wellblechhalle blieb er der alleinige Entdecker seiner Leidenschaft: niemand hörte es, wie er mit seiner hohen Kinderstimme Helene Fischer gegen Betonsäulen schmetterte, wie er Andrea Berg auf schwarz verriebenen Reifenspuren tänzeln ließ, oder wie er im Namen der schönen Michelle verdreckten Öllappen leuchtende Sterne und liebevolle Nächte versprach, und er hatte sich auch nie dazu überwinden können, seinem Vater, diesem grobschlächtigen Bierbauch mit Schwielenhänden und Ölnägeln, zu gestehen, dass seine Liebe der Kunst galt. Aber jetzt, wo der alte Patriarch tot war, stand Sebastian alle Welt offen.

[Anonymous No.10380525]

>>10378295
>Some faggot posts his thoughts
>He gets all the attention

>I post my thoughts
>Nobody replies

Fucking faggots, dude

[Anonymous No.10380573]

>>10380525
fuck chrome. google is the final form of capitalism and will kill us all

[Anonymous No.10380637]

>>10380508
>Die Go-Cartbahn, von Generation zu Generation in der Familie weitergegeben, er fand darin keine Erfüllung.

Kein richtiger Satz

>Die rotzig ratternden Motoren gaben ihm nicht den selben Kick, verschafften ihm nicht das selbe Hochgefühl, dass das Herz seines Vaters damals hatte so hoch schlagen lassen, dass er schlussendlich an einem Infarkt starb.

Ich verstehe, was du hier versuchst, aber der Satz braucht ein paar Überarbeitungen. "So hoch hatte schlagen lassen" anstatt "hatte so hoch schlagen lassen" wäre die erste. Auch dann habe ich ein problem mit "rotzig ratternden" Motoren und "Kick", aber das kann auch nur eine Meinung sein. Beides klingt oberflächlich und ich bin mir sicher, dass die deutsche Sprache bessere Mittel bietet, das gleiche auszudrücken.

>Schon als kleines Kind, mit drei oder vier Jahren, hatte er das Singen für sich entdeckt.

"Für sich entdeckt" ist noch so etwas. Könnte nur ich sein, aber es klingt übetrieben zeitgeistlich und ungenau.

> Im permanenten Lärm der Wellblechhalle blieb er der alleinige Entdecker seiner Leidenschaft: niemand hörte es, wie er mit seiner hohen Kinderstimme Helene Fischer gegen Betonsäulen schmetterte, wie er Andrea Berg auf schwarz verriebenen Reifenspuren tänzeln ließ, oder wie er im Namen der schönen Michelle verdreckten Öllappen leuchtende Sterne und liebevolle Nächte versprach

Sehr schön, aber beende den Satz hier, würde ich sagen.


Ich erkenne mich darin wieder, besonders in den kleinen Spielereien mit der Sprache. Erkenne auch viel von Kafka wieder. Es ist nicht schlecht, du hast mit Sicherheit Talent und Leichtigkeit im Umgang mit der Sprache, aber insgesamt wirkt es auf mich wie Effekt ohne Substanz. Kompetenz im Ausdruck, aber dabei eigentlich nur die Reproduktion eines Klischees (der zarte, künstlerisch begabte Sohn und der dumme, geschäftstüchtige Vater), gespickt mit amüsanten Sprachtricks. Du solltest weitermachen, aber ich vermisse die Schärfe und das Gefühl, dass dir wirklich wichtig ist, was hier gesagt wird.

[Anonymous No.10380647]

>>10380296
revolutionary stuff

[Anonymous No.10380655]

>>10379284
Just read The Myth of Sysiphus by Camus

[Anonymous No.10380670]

>>10380508
The decision was taken: he would change everything. The go train, from generation to generation (in fact really from one to the other: long had not yet passed the hall) in the family, he found no fulfillment. The snotty rattling engines gave him the same kick, gave him is not the same as feeling "high", the heart of his father had hit so high that he finally died of a heart attack. Sebastian did not want the rest of his days between miniature racing car for miniature people spend, he dreamed of greater: he wanted to sing. Even as a small child, with three or four years ago, he had discovered the singing. In the persistent noise of the corrugated metal hall, he remained the sole discoverer of his Passion: nobody heard it, as he did with its high child's voice as he smashed against concrete pillars, Helene Fischer Andrea Berg on black levels, or how he had tire tracks prance verri, on behalf of the beautiful Michelle dirty oily rags shining stars and loving nights, and promised he would never be able to overcome this, his father, this grobschlachtigen beer belly with calluses hands and olna, to confess that his love of art was. But now, where the old patriarch was dead Sebastian all open to the world.

[Anonymous No.10380683]

>>10380647
y-you really mean that? (a-and in a good way?)

[Anonymous No.10380688]

>>10380683
no, sorry
this is interesting to a psychoanalyst, not to someone interested in literature

[Anonymous No.10380692]

>>10379873
they’re glorified by the new media and by feminist activists and by a lot og gurlpower whores on ig, tumbr and twitter with significant influence and followings. every single hot cool chick ive met follows at least one of these accounts that pimps women out. they’re normalized among young men now too to the point its good fun to interact with then casually online. There’s no doubt its being normalized, pretending its not is doublethink or a sign of being ignorant which you‘re probably a mix of both. Also they don’t deserve any nice words what they do for a living is pathetic.

[Anonymous No.10380698]

>>10380692
Actually going to them and using their services hasn't been normalized though, it's weird

[Anonymous No.10380699]

>>10377509
I'm so fucking sick of being impaired after hitting my head and getting a traumatic brain injury. It's been 8 months and I've put down so much work on getting better, I feel like I deserve faster progress. I'm sick of being a social outcast who can't handle hanging out with more than two people at a time, I really thought today would go better. I'd love to lean back and be confident in that I can handle noisy environments, just looking forward to be able to work out and party again. I get that everyone goes through difficult times but I'm so fucking tired of being stuck in some kind of cognitive limbo. I just want to feel quick again, being able to express myself sharply anytime I want to, as I used to. I used to be an animal when it came to retorics and discussing shit, now I'm so sluggish I forget words and lose what I intended to say the second before I was going to say it. I'm so tired of it all, I want to be healthy again

[Anonymous No.10380708]

I'm depressed to the point that I can barely comprehend a book, yet I've got to make it through undergrad or my life is essentially over. Supposedly lifting weights helps a little, but if that doesn't work, I'm not sure what I can do. I have no insurance, so meds are out of the question. I have no motivation, no interests, little energy, and no sources of support. Part of me feels like it's already over.

[Anonymous No.10380716]

>>10380688
Are people not interested in literature somewhat interested in psychoanalysis, does that not go hand in hand in the nature of character and story, and the intrigued consuming of such? And really out of all the writing in the thread, what you responded to was the worst offense of being low art? 70-200 posts will there be, tfw no girlfriend, tfw dark and brooding fedora in the shadows and girls are weird and annoying and my parents and work: I summarized it all for you buddy, your welcome

[Anonymous No.10380734]

>>10380716
ah yes, indeedfully so, moscovite thanks to you my fellow hard-hatted gentleman

[Anonymous No.10380740]

>>10380708
Lifting weights does help. Do it until exhaustion. Maybe doing something until exhaustion will teach you in some little way or at least give you some comfort
Why would your life be over if you dont make it through undergrad?

[Anonymous No.10380772]

>>10380740
Well, I took up jogging for a month, but I never saw that rush of good feelings (endorphins?) that people describe. I'll still give lifting a try, though.

>Why would your life be over if you dont make it through undergrad?
I'm already several thousands of dollars in debt, both of my parents are unemployed (and nearly homeless), and having to work retail again might drive me to suicide. My goal in life was always to live overseas, but with the onset of mental illness, that resolve is weaker than ever. If I mess this up, I doubt it'll ever happen.

[Anonymous No.10380805]

>>10380698
>>10380692
because "the new media and by feminist activists and by a lot og gurlpower whores on ig, tumbr and twitter with significant influence and followings."

Is a small pond surrounded by giant seas

[Anonymous No.10380814]

>>10380637
Danke für die sehr ausführliche Kritik zu so einem kurzen Geschreibsel. Ich schäme mich ein wenig, dass du dir so viel Mühe mit diesem doch eher dahingeklatschten Häuflein Buchstaben gemacht hast. Darf ich dir den Text zur Beschauung anbieten, an dem ich gerade arbeite und verzweifle?

[Anonymous No.10380820]

>>10380699
How did you manage to hit your head that hard? Not even bait, just curious

[Anonymous No.10380850]

>>10380805
>>10380698
>>10380692
Is normies a majority thing (if there were more goths than any other type of person, goths would be normies) or is there an abstrac, eternal realm of forms, prep and proposition of normiedom?

[Anonymous No.10380858]

>>10380820
wasn't much harder than what would cause anyone a regular concussion, but I've gotten a couple of concussions before and you are more vulnerable to getting issues if you've done it multiple times. About 30% of concussions last longer than 3 weeks and ~5 of those % lasts for longer than 3 months. Don't get concussions

[Anonymous No.10380897]

>>10377509
Barely read this year. Last year I read about 35 books. This year 7, though I should be able to complete 2 more before 2018.

work is mentally draining, and usually I only have energy for reading after a few glasses of wine. I seem to read more quickly and confidently after a few glasses. Anyone else experience this? I think I'm too neurotic without alcohol.

[Anonymous No.10380912]

humans are the only creatures with true intelligence and this intelligence has its origin in the abstract which is a divine realm distinct from the physical realm. it is the duty of humanity to gain complete control of the physical realm and unite the two in order to create a perfect reality

[Anonymous No.10380940]

>>10380850
normies are people who do what they’re supposed to socially, make up about 60-80% of the western population, are agreeable, like top 40 music, have no serious hobbies or interests outside of meme things like watching movies or hiking, cannot into lit, math, science beyond the most plebiean entry level shit, are incapable of empathizing with down and outs beyond being hysterically emotive or pedantic cunts, are basically p-zombies with no imagination outside of acting out media sequences they’ve consumed with self-inserts, cannot have ecstatic experiences, cannot be spontaneous, dress horribly (even if they are fashionably dressed), have absolutely no will power, are unthinking consumers, are unthinking voters (or vote at all), are usually very meek and agreeable, love tv more than anything, think casual sex is meaningless and has no bearing on your value or who you are as a human, speak with uptalk, vocal fry use filler words such as “like” to move their speech along because they’re impulsive socializers who are uninterested in other people or themselves, get lonely extremey quickly, have garbage taste in food, eat mcfood constantly, love animals but don’t hunt or go out into the wilderness ever, are scared of weapons or only use them where they are supposed to, would never talk back to a police officer, professor, manager, employer, politician, journalist or physician, trust corporations, enjoy watching the news, feel like they are friends with podcast hosts, day time tv hosts etc and so on. I could go on for a lot longer but that’s the gist of it. I think i may have left out: ignorant of pricing, technical details, quality of automobiles, can’t drive a car fast without being an idiot, can’t drive stick, can’t bench two pl8’s, can’t sprint fast, have an above 5 second 40 yard dash time, have a weak unwilling grip, do meme things in bed like say “choke me daddy” and choking women because they saw it on tumblr, are afraid to pull hair or pin down in bed, only have iud/birth control or condom sex, afraid of being seen alone in public, are afraid of batner stopping, are afraid of being seen as outstanding or dominant, defer constantly to others as if they’ll be safe doing so, are afraid of averting gaze during conversation, talk disingenuously about social relationships, loves dogs, loves camping and traveling, loves ice cream and sugar foods, loves condiments like ketchup and mustard and other subhuman pastes like that

[Anonymous No.10380946]

>>10380850
dumb normie

[Anonymous No.10380947]

>>10380400
yes

[Anonymous No.10380955]

>>10380912
> intelligence has its origin in the abstract
kek

[Anonymous No.10380966]

>>10380955
shit i was actually wrong. intelligence is rather the ability to see into the abstract. that's what we are doing when we discover new mathematics, we are looking into the abstract

[Anonymous No.10380970]

>>10377828
I feel you. Better get some talents soon, you'll need them.

[Anonymous No.10380983]

>>10380708
Antidepressants are cheap. $30/month for the newer generation ones.

I've tried various things for depression. Working out only helps out temporarily afterwards. Looking better does help day-to-day though. I've tried stimulants like adderall and they do not help at all. Working regularly (yes, wage slavery!) and keeping a schedule was probably the biggest help for me along with anti-depressants. Cipralex and wellbutrin are pretty good.

[Anonymous No.10380999]

>>10380966
yes but intelligence does not only extend to "new mathematics"

[Anonymous No.10381007]

>>10378326
I don't believe that some people are meant to be alone, but I do believe that some people are better off alone.

[Anonymous No.10381011]

>>10380858
But what actually caused the concussions in the first place tho

[Anonymous No.10381014]

>>10380983
I feel like wageslaving only made it worse, or at least solidified the sense that I was lying to people, since I had to put on a mask in order to function. That was a cashier job at a grocery store, though, which is possibly the worst one for someone who's depressed.

How did you get antidepressants? Just schedule a doctor's visit, tell them about your case, and try to get a prescription? Appointments are like $40 at my university, so I'll have to save up some. You mention Wellbutrin, which gets a lot of positive feedback, so I'll aim for that one first.

[Anonymous No.10381016]

>>10380858
Yeah, but what have you been hitting your head against?

[Anonymous No.10381018]

>>10380999
of course i was just giving an example

[Anonymous No.10381053]

>>10381014
Yeah just talk to a doctor and say you think you are depressed and that you may need treatment. Say you have tried things like exercise and diet with no improvement in your mood (unless you haven't) and you would like to try medication.

[Anonymous No.10381054]

>>10379873
Of course most people agree that they are pathetic, but seing those fucking "God bless Sasha Grey" t shirts makes me think otherwise. And hearing this god forsaken phrase "It helps me explore my sexuality" being spewd out by every degenerate, like earning money in the most pathetic way possible somehow widens ones horizons. But maybe I'm just a lonely bitter fuck

[Anonymous No.10381071]

>>10381053
Thanks, anon. That restores some of my hope. I look forward to the day we're both free from this awful thing.

[Anonymous No.10381085]

>>10377646
Is this a reddit writing prompt

[Anonymous No.10381097]

>>10377805
Best wishes

[Anonymous No.10381102]

>>10378295
Don't try to force yourself to not be gay

my grandma did that and it made her life suck

[Anonymous No.10381110]

>>10380814
Natürlich. Bin aber nicht sicher, ob ichs heute noch schaffe

[Anonymous No.10381235]

>>10381110
Mach dir keinen Stress. Hier ist der Anfang der aktuellen Geschichte. Der Sinn des ganzen erschließt sich darauf wohl noch nicht, aber das muss er auch noch nicht, denke ich.

[Anonymous No.10381415]

What a foul taste rejection has. It sits chalky with a bitter taste to pucker my lips as if a kiss is desired. Alas, in clear context, a kiss does not await me. Rejection merely teases me by forcing me to ask for a peck with a vacant response. If only resilience might hold my nose and convince me to swallow my pride, perhaps I would not be here wallowing for an unfortunate occasion. Others who share my predicament might be green with envy towards the opposing court — maybe even red, full of rage. But I remain so blue, a blue that is lukewarm in tone, for I cannot say I am so devastated that I am a depressed fellow. I am just discouraged, beat up, in a slump. To no one is being dirty desirable with knees and palms coated with a crusted, dried mud. As my blue, the mud is lukewarm as well. Rejection is not fun, but it is not the end either, I suppose. Perhaps feeling blue, being down in mud is only lukewarm because I know that is not my finish. Even an unanswered kiss might warrant a woman to steal it from me. If so, take my cloak and my hood. I don’t feel like I hold a lot anyhow. I'd receive much more with a kiss stolen.

[Anonymous No.10381420]

>>10378295
be Catholic; we love our brother :)

[Anonymous No.10381424]

>>10377805
dat booty tho

[Anonymous No.10381441]

>>10378295
lol you have no real problems, what a bore you are.
>my fake sexuality that’s an abomination might not be what i want
>can’t even type in coherent sentences
lol at you

[Anonymous No.10381448]

>>10378364
>>10378878
>>10379116
>>10381420

Hey man, take these anons' words sincerely!!! Shit, we don't know a damn thing about other than what you said but we wish you the best, friend.

It's odd, but sometimes it's nice to know strangers care about you when they are under no obligation to give a damn about you. Take that to heart with love, bud.

[Anonymous No.10381462]

>>10381415
>*tips fedora*

[Anonymous No.10381472]

>>10381071
No problem. I hope things get better for you

[Anonymous No.10381480]

>>10381462
oh Lord, I don't want to be a fedora...

I don't want to toot my own horn, but I gotta defend myself from being referred to as a fedora lol

I'm a Catholic Christian (not edgy atheist) and /fitlit/. I'm doing track in college right now

[Anonymous No.10381499]

>>10381480
No worries, bro. Your post just screamed pretentiousness, that's all. Being a Catholic is about as edgy as being an atheist, though.

[Anonymous No.10381522]

>>10381499
you know, I've been getting some instances of feedback saying my writing is pretentious.

Obviously, I don't want to sound like that, nor do I want to dumb down what I write either. Any tips? Lowkey, I feel the need to write in that style I guess.

And lol, nice comment on the edginess; shit man, being a new atheist has that edge attitude you know?

[Anonymous No.10381546]

>>10381480
>What a foul taste rejection
disgust at rejection will not serve you well, this is pure victim mentality. you're going to get rejected in life so you might as well cultivate an indifference and then a gratitude for it

>I'm a Catholic Christian
oh that's why, sincerest regrets for the lifetime of unnecessary shame, guilt and regret that awaits you, maybe you'll be dealt a better hand in the next life or someone will kindly put some magic mushrooms your way

[Anonymous No.10381596]

My teacher is a shitty writer. He’s trying to get it published for months and he just doesn’t want to give up.

[Anonymous No.10381694]

>>10381522
your writing I good, there is nothing wrong with pretentious writing (YA readers = 'that hard well written book is pretentious' = 'that person is trying to hard to infuse beauty and transcendence and difference, trying too hard to stick out from the genre fiction mould'

You are a good writer, keep writing, a lot, and hone your style, try to expand it, try others, but what you have written and in that style is good and legit.

Maybe they just kneejerk said that because some of the stylings reminded them of Nietszhe, or just the 'brooding' tone (edge lord, fedora, catana, cape) and they just associated the 'serious monologue rhythm style' with cringe kid memes

[Anonymous No.10381702]

>>10381694
>reminded me of Nietsche
jfc

[Anonymous No.10381718]

>>10377779
just stop being paranoid and meditate

[Anonymous No.10381767]

>>10381702
the cadence/tone/prose stylings structure form shape

[Anonymous No.10381791]

>>10377779
+1 to meditate

also lookup Pronoia

also personal preference but shrooms once a month would be better and far more sustainable than alcohol and smokeweed eryday, no amount of smoke is good for you and yes I've tried it. stupid drug, shrooms are where it's at

[Anonymous No.10381892]

>>10381694
Thank you anon!

>try others
regarding trying different styles, you know, I've been quite interested in the Psalms and that sort of poetic type of writing. I just started writing little passages, attempting to emulate that style. Along with the Psalms, I've been reading some excerpts of meditations by certain saints. They are good examples of that style too!

But, again, thank you!

[Anonymous No.10382313]

>>10381892
ya, it is good, makes me want to know more about the details of the rejection and relationships.

[Anonymous No.10382320]

>>10381702
>reminded me of Nietsche
>>10381892
>>10381767
also Shakesphere, more Shakesphere actually, maybe its the 'dramaticness', that kneejerked the fedora response, like those black and white fedora memes, the dramatic, overseriousness of it

[Anonymous No.10382341]

>>10381767
not at all, go read Genealogy and Will To Power and then look at his tripe. You’re just saying things to sound like you know what you’re talking about. Its absolutely not Nietzschean at all

[Anonymous No.10383100]

I believe in white nationalism and that it is in a white person's every right to want their own countries back, but I'm also the son of two east asian immigrants. I would fight and die for white countries to be white again, but would I then leave? Would I be permitted to live as a hermit? Should I try to miscegenate with a white woman? Should I try to see the US balkanize, so in that way white people can still have their white ethnostates, and I would have to find my own way?

I don't know. But I am a man. I will struggle. There is only eternal struggle.

[Anonymous No.10383264]

sometimes bravery is stupidity

[Anonymous No.10383310]

O meu muito obrigado ao Deus das máquinas.


Era um amontoado de carne e gorduras com rolos de mortadela por braços, dedos que parecem salsichas, os odores de laticínios e carne processada se misturam com o heterogêneo da grande cidade, terraços e seus fumos se misturam com o céu, carros e seus fumos se misturam entre homens. Há homens entre homens que se confundem por deuses, com seus fumos não se diferencia um por outro. Muito obrigado Deus das máquinas!

[Anonymous No.10383376]

>>10383100
The way I envision the white ethnostate is not overt aggression to non-whites, but isolation, discrimination and exclusion as was the way of the ancients. Special arrangements are always made for those who are deserving of them as respected metics and auxiliaries. In any case, why don't you transfer that ethnic love to the object of your own people?

[Anonymous No.10383450]

BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBC BBCuck

[Anonymous No.10383451]

>>10383264
What kind of psychotic God would create a poor creature that looks like this

[Anonymous No.10383458]

>>10383264
What kind of psychotic God would create a poor creature that looks like this, and yet, its so smug, look at its weird head and eye, and no hands, what a travesty

[Anonymous No.10383558]

>>10383376
If I had too much love, then I would explicitly become a subversive element to my gracious host nation. I wonder if east asians and whites in the West can be allies. It is...fortunate that east asians in the West commit less crime, have comparably high IQs, and are a tax benefit. On the other hand, that could just be seen as a threat.

Sometimes I wonder if this struggle is unique, or something that makes one truly alive. Sometimes I wonder if this is what the first man felt like.

[Anonymous No.10383563]

I'm progressing towards the person I want to be. I'm not there yet, but I've made clear movement.

[Anonymous No.10383574]

My first memory is of nearly choking to death on a piece of pizza at the age of two and a half

[Anonymous No.10383575]

>>10383558
Where are you? The Chinese have really got their claws in Australia right now

[Anonymous No.10383590]

>>10383575
I'm in Jew York

[Anonymous No.10383652]

If I were a cute girl I'd probably be dead of AIDs by now. I'm such a slut at heart.

I don't know if this is the better option.

[Anonymous No.10383673]

I wanna read a novel that gives me comfy love feels. Like the feels you get when you see a cute girl do a cute thing. Like the feels you get thinking about rem. I wanna book thats SO fucking comfy i could cry, that i think about it months after i read it. I want a book that gives me the feeling of this hole in my chest being filled.

[Patoo No.10383688]

I’m moving to LA to live in my suv on a comfy cushion surrounded by a wall of 600 books that I hope re-read or read for the first time. My car is definitely going to be broken into. Won’t be paying rent, so only working sometimes, reading most-times. I can’t decide if living in my car (even if it is big, and fitted to my lifestyle) is brilliant or delusional. Fuck paying rent.

[Anonymous No.10383789]

>>10383673
sounds like how people feel about Murakami

[Anonymous No.10383794]

>>10383688
where are these 600 books? California is the best, but whats up with the fires, around there? LA is quite awesome depending on where you are, quite really amazing great actually

[Patoo No.10383832]

>>10383794
I’m building custom bookshelves in the back of a big Ford Expedition with the seats replaced by foam mattress, bean bag and/or hammock. Ideally the bookshelves will line all of the walls of the car surrounding the seating area. 3/4 rows. Surround sound and an espresso machine. I already own the books. Leaving in less than a month. Living away from tv and computers, in an urban jungle, in a thin, very comfortable (somewhat) safe space. It’s gonna be an adventure. Maybe a lifestyle, maybe a death sentence.

[Anonymous No.10383868]

Someone from my department shot himself a week ago. In a few hours it'll be a week since he officially died. His funeral was earlier today. And here I am just writing papers and shitposting on 4chan like normal. It's a strange feel

[Anonymous No.10383934]

>>10383832
there are nice neighborhoods in la, nicer, make sure you know where they are,,, but not too nice. Venice beach is cool, you may be fucked with or meet a lot of friends, probably both. You arent trying to sell them are you? But yeah there are tons of places around there, and you should look into walmart policy about parking there, used to be you could, dont know anymore... but that also might be a target for breakiners

theres also rules I think about parking near the beach... but also I dont recall, there might be parts where there are just tons of rvs lining the streets near the water, surfers, and others.

california is huge, that area is huge, need to do a lot of scoping out spots, but there are plenty.

Years ago I drove around with friends in an rv, and in a lot of cities slept in it parked, did that around LA a few times, life is so diffrent then, weird and amazing feeling,

[Anonymous No.10383936]

>>10383832
pics?

[Anonymous No.10383939]

>>10383868
what department

[Anonymous No.10383953]

>>10383939
photography. he died because the selfie he was taking was on the balcony, and he fell over

[Anonymous No.10383964]

>>10383939
Music department at my uni.

[Anonymous No.10383969]

I accidentally said something that sounded mean toward my friend today when making a joke. There was no intention of it being mean and I didn't even realize it could be taken the wrong way until after I said it. I don't even know if he was offended by it. He probably completely forgot about it by now but I'm still going over how I probably sounded like a huge asshole.

[Anonymous No.10383971]

>>10383969
spill it, say what it was.

[Patoo No.10383974]

>>10383934
Thanks for the information. I’ve been trying to research it as much as I can. There are maps that detail all of the streets that are completely legal to ‘camp’ on in your car. It is a pretty complicated system they have. I might sell some of them if I’m desperate (or need to make room for new purchases) but I’ve worked pretty hard to put together a collection I’ll want to keep. I’ll definitely be lending/giving them out wherever I see fit though. I’ll post pictures when I get the shelves built.

[Anonymous No.10383983]

>>10383974
just gonna have to try not to get robbed if some crazy person thinks they can make a lot of money off the books, but now that I say this it seems a longshot, but will you have a bat or something...but you never know, venice beach then if you become known as the book car guy, some crackhead might think who knows

[Anonymous No.10383992]

>tfw will never be able to write with honesty and integrity because it would require me to confront my fetishes (even if i didn’t write about them directly i would still be pretty sure someone would figure it out) and im too ashamed

[Anonymous No.10384006]

>>10383992
dude I have a pretty fucking weird fetish too and I've never really told a single person about it.

[Anonymous No.10384013]

>>10383992
>>10384006
spill the beans boys

[Anonymous No.10384015]

>>10384013
that's their fetish, spilling the beans. Turns them soyboys the fuck on, like Edison with the damn lightbulb

[Anonymous No.10384021]

>>10384013
No, *teheheh* *blushes* heheheheh im too shy to say *puts hand over mouth like asian girl* thehehe

maybe if you keep asking and begging for me to reveal I will tell you.... ehhehehhehe, its like I love the attention, and im a good little whore, whoring out my mystery.... I have a secret.... do you want to know what it is?

[Anonymous No.10384030]

There's only one thing ever on my mind: her.

[Anonymous No.10384047]

>>10384006
>>10384013

Think Joyce squared +10 other assorted fetishes

[Anonymous No.10384056]

>>10377805
Sorry man.

[Anonymous No.10384141]

>>10381011
>>10381016
oh, I hit my head against the ceiling while getting back upright in some stairs, packing my gym bag. I leaned out to the side from the stairs to throw something into the bag and didn't think about how the ceiling was lower to the side of the stairs than in the stairs themselves. Typical every day hit really

[Anonymous No.10384195]

Ok lads, I don't want to start another thread for this, but this girl I've been seeing loves to read, and I mean like really likes it, like one of those girls, but she mostly reads pleb-tier historical fiction. Still, I think there's potential. We're not really dating yet, so I don't have to get her a real present, so I thought I'd get her a nice book that could also be subversive into brainwashing her into becoming /lit/. How might I accomplish this?

[Anonymous No.10384357]

The modern world is terrorism against the conscious mind.

[Anonymous No.10384546]

>>10384195
Talk to her and spend time with her instead of worrying about how you can change her. Then your patience will be rewarded with clarity and wisdom. Obviously but her the book you want her to read but lol really bro?

[Anonymous No.10384548]

>>10377509
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand the New Atheists. The argumentation is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of biology and the logical fallacies most of the dismissive tools like Ockham's Razor will go over a typical bible thumper's head. There’s also Dennett's anti-qualia outlook, which is deftly woven into his science philosophy - his personal philosophy draws heavily from psychological literature (not Freud), for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of atheism, to realise that they’re not just scientific - they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike New Atheism truly ARE idiots - of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Hitchens' anti-women-comedians jokes or catchphrase “Orwell is not a manual,” which itself is a cryptic reference to 1984. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dawkin's genius genes selfishly disprove morality. What fools.. how I pity them.

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Hitchens tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the female comedian's eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid

[Anonymous No.10384552]

>>10384548
jks, you can see it, i guess :3

[Anonymous No.10384560]

My mum died a few weeks ago. She was a very spiritual and biblical woman who practiced what she preached. That kind of attitude is scary to hivemind types, so our family has been in a solitude state for basically my whole life. Now that she's gone, our house has been flooded with the kind of people who showed us very little respect in the past, but now want to rub shoulders as if they want to steal the secret recipe to her mental state. I dunno man, I just wish people would go away so I can spend time with my family, my dad's in fucking shambles

[Anonymous No.10384588]

fuck this life. I enjoy staying up late and letting my mind rot. Even on days where I have "responsibilililties" or "comititititments" the next day, I'll stay. Stay up.Stay out Stay in. Don't do the work, just keep on forgetting. Just one more minute. Please one more hour. One more day, one more year. One more life, then I'll finally get it done.
Get it done.

[Anonymous No.10384655]

>>10377509
We're all fucking post-graduate in this class, why are you giving me shit for writing in an academic way? Sorry I did an actual degree opposed to gender fucking studies AAAGH. Goddamn ass-pat cotton candy fuckin fucks

[Anonymous No.10384680]

>>10379111
Are you still in high school?

Every kid who is more intelligent than their peers feels this way.

[Anonymous No.10384686]

>>10379204
>write without care, just to get words on the page
>read your work
>fix errors

P simple dear friend

[Anonymous No.10384713]

>>10379111
>>10384680
I'm not >10384680 but I'm not gonna lie, I'm studying for my MA and it baffles me that my fellow colleagues can't grasp basic academic language. I want to throw books at them.

[Anonymous No.10384730]

HURRRR WHITE NASHUNALIZM DURRRRRRR. PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT RACES ARE IMHERENTLY DIFFERENT SOMEHOW. WHITE PEOPLE ARE IMPORTANT HURRRRRRRRRR

[Anonymous No.10384735]

It his hard to teach English to kids with brain palsy when their mother language is Portuguese.

[Anonymous No.10384748]

>>10378295

Even the strongest like Foucault tried to commit suicide two times on his 18/19s because he felt guilty about being gay. You'll become stronger, man, have my hug

[Anonymous No.10384833]

I watch a lot of jeopardy, and I've always struggled with questions relating to the bible. I went to sunday school as a kid so I can answer some of the most basic questions but I want to be able to answer higher value questions. Are there any sources for learning biblical information that would help with trivia? Should I just read the bible?

I'm more concerned with my jeopardy scores than my own spirituality and I'm not sure how I should feel about that

[Anonymous No.10384840]

Update:
6 hours later.
Had breakfast.
Still thinking about her.

[Anonymous No.10384866]

Free Verse for Anon

Stem your collocated fears among
The lost who fester in achy lotus, eyes lighted all in blue
and floating freely among binaries, in code, a congregation of
Clicks; retrograde mind barren in its allure, dopamine diagnostic
Centres making red bank runs, chopping at soft hearts who'd like a piece,
A respite, pleading for a revaluation of these digital monoliths being erected
Day-in-day-out, nodes reached, sordid images and hatred bred, like dogs.
Anon, you sit, distill, hope, clinging to stem desire, but tabbing
Right on back to /gif/ in all its carnal glory, cumsharking and shame.

[Anonymous No.10384983]

I'm tired of renovators coming into my apartment. I can't take a shit in the mornings because somebody might use the master key. They were supposed to fix my balcony door today but haven't. I know they've been here.

[Anonymous No.10384997]

Eva Mendes. I want to fuck her until she starts breathlessly blurting out words in Spanish like a underpaid kitchen porter.

[Anonymous No.10385002]

>>10384983
>not taking a shit because there's people in the apartment

beta a f
I had a masty in the bathroom while the maid cleaned my room this morning.

[Anonymous No.10385645]

blub

[Anonymous No.10386052]

>>10377646

[Anonymous No.10386058]

>>10377669
>where we found not what we sought

[Anonymous No.10386139]

uhhhh

>start to feel a connection with god after reading anselm and tolstoy
>begin praying, putting faith into something else, working harder for my goals
>feel no connection whatsoever to Jesus

anybody else know this feel

[Anonymous No.10386173]

>>10384546
I don't really like her that much desu

[Anonymous No.10386229]

The ever flowing river of clean water is being again and again rejected for a sip of cola.

[Zxqvqyz Qzxyvwxz No.10386244]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bOjYTMt0j8

[Anonymous No.10386291]

>>10386139
>anybody else know this feel
Yeah, other satanists do.

[Anonymous No.10386343]

>>10377646
I ask for guidance from God and angels sometimes and I think I receive cryptic messages in my dreams. There’s also been a couple times where I’ve heard voices that aren’t my own, one of them sounded latin and other time I was reading 1 samuel (I think) late at night and I heard a small childlike voice in my right ear whisper “go to sleep” I guess I’m either making contact with incorporeal powers or losing my mind but I have reason to suspect it’s the former.

By the way, I’ve wanted to ask anyone who knows, is this sentence proper latin: “Deus ipsem [might actually be ipsum] est”

[Anonymous No.10386435]

>>10384983
You should be shitting even harder and more often. That'll teach the renovators to spend as little time as possible in your apartment.

[Anonymous No.10386468]

i'm a wick submerged by wax
hearing more voices than a eight track
feeling despondent from the rejection
but floating higher than these contradictions

[Anonymous No.10386518]

I try not to be a brainlet by reading books but I know that no matter what I'll fail due to average iQ

[Anonymous No.10386970]

Further update:
It's not nighttime, haven't slept since yesterday.
Still thinking about her.

[Anonymous No.10387028]

>>10386343
You’re delusional, go see a psychologist. Or kill your self for resulting to religion. Reading your post made me sick.

[Anonymous No.10387069]

>>10386970
There's no escape.

[Anonymous No.10387111]

>>10377509
If she dumps me, I won't have anyone to blame for why I don't achieve my ambitions.

[Anonymous No.10387134]

>>10387028
You live in a sad world and I’d rather be insane than think like you.

Also I don’t know what resulting to religion means

[Anonymous No.10387155]

>>10387134
Speaking as an “insane” person, I know what it’s like.

& all I’m saying is look at things a bit more subjectively and realistically than assuming you’re being contacted by a greater being.

[Anonymous No.10387164]

>>10377509
I wish I knew why I can't bring myself to do what needs to be done. I wish I knew why the last 10 years of my life have been nothing but self destruction and escapism.

[Anonymous No.10387166]

>>10387111
Sounds like excuses are keeping you down.

[Anonymous No.10387171]

>>10386970
same

[Anonymous No.10387260]

How many people nowadays get the majority of their information from YouTube videos?

[Anonymous No.10387315]

My mind is so fucking clouded, I cannot retain information or focus on anything educational. How do you get rid of brain fog ?

[Anonymous No.10387341]

>>10387315
Excercise or meditate

[Anonymous No.10387404]

>>10383100
You would probably be interested in Asian-Aryanism https://asianaryanism.com/about/

[Anonymous No.10387423]

>>10380400
I knew two guys in a similar situation. They were Norwegian and English. They met eventually. I don't know much else about their story, I just know they eventually met and it was good.

also they were really into furry rp

[Anonymous No.10387460]

>>10387166
They are
And I've always used her as an excuse. But once she walks out, I'm going to have to have the cold hard reality that the reason I don't take those risks is because I'm a pussy, not because she's holding me back.

[Anonymous No.10387462]

>>10387315
Recognize which psychological quirks are being exploited by companies and services that profit from having your attention, and try to shut them out

[Anonymous No.10387473]

>>10387315
Unplug. Don't watch videos or play videogames unless you socially have to. Instead, read or write (I think that, for this anti-fog purpose at least, messaging counts as writing). It's hard at first but gets easier, I promise.

[Anonymous No.10387700]

>>10387473
so I could still browse 4chan ?

[Zxqvqyz Qzxyvwxz No.10387734]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS65-ZvUSSM

[Anonymous No.10387763]

It just hit me that I'm really unlucky.
I've never had any friends despite being a fine conversationalist. In school, my peers would always forget me.
When I still regularly talked to people, I would constantly have to remind them my name.
My head's been getting really foggy too.
I can't write or even read as well as I used to. What bothers me even more is that I can't really find it in myself to care.
And today my thumb froze. I can't move it at all.
I can't even play video games anymore.
I wonder why god or the starmen or whatever the fuck is up there hates me so much.
It's depressing to think about.

[Anonymous No.10387860]

>>10380699

>tfw this is me
>tfw haven't had a traumatic brain injury, just depression and alcohol

Kill me, please

[Anonymous No.10387869]

>>10387155
Why do you need him to interpret his experiences the same way you did?

[Anonymous No.10387888]

>Browse /pol/
>ahaha gas the jews etc.
>Okay that was fun, now I want to see discussion about history, science and literature
>Go to /lit/ /sci/ or /his/
>Board is flooded with /pol/ topics and trolls (the fact that they aren't being identified as trolls is part of the reason people fall for them constantly IMO)
>Random non-/pol/ threads can quickly become /pol/ threads due to one troll post.
I'm really tired of this shit. It would improve the quality of both these boards and /pol/ if /pol/ threads about these topics were kept on /pol/. There's no quality discussion in those threads because everyone is angry at each other. I genuinely like /pol/ but I don't like seeing its most boring and repetitive parts in other boards. /qa/ is an unmoderated shitposting board so I can't write about it there. /lit/ is slowly going to become a /sci/ tier board filled with one line troll questions, just you fucking watch.

[Anonymous No.10387995]

>>10380940
this is mostly just a list of things you dislike...

[Anonymous No.10388009]

>>10387888
checked. but truth knows no bound

[Anonymous No.10388054]

>>10387888
There are other websites to have intelligent discussion, you know.

[Anonymous No.10388059]

>>10388054
Where?

[Anonymous No.10388069]

>>10388059
R*ddit.

[Anonymous No.10388096]

>>10378295
Disgusting faggot

[Anonymous No.10388103]

>>10388069
I've been here too long. Browsing that site makes me want to kill myself. I think my best option is to stay here and contribute to keeping the atmosphere and culture that keeps me coming back to this site. I like the elitism and honesty that comes with this place.

>>10378295
Stop being gay faggot.

[Anonymous No.10388133]

>>10384833
>should I read the wiki page of a book or should I read the book(that only happens to be one of, if not the, most important literary work of all time)
/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.10388144]

>>10384833
There’s plenty of bible trivia apps desu

[Anonymous No.10388146]

Every time I go outside, I get severe anxiety and feel hideous compared to the people around me. It's so bad that my eyes start tearing up at random, and I have to stare at the floor. Even when I try my hardest to collect myself, it never goes away.

[Anonymous No.10388153]

>>10388069
Reminder that Redditors are the worst cancer of this site precisely because they treat this exclusively as a place to shitpost, as opposed to "serious discussion" which is supposed to happen in that abomination of a website.

[Anonymous No.10388161]

I'm tired of life. I'm somewhat scared now that I think back on my experiences over the past couple years. And I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing

[Anonymous No.10388335]

I've slowly come to realize that I have limitless ambition. I've actually progressed a lot and achieved a lot this year as a writer, an academic, and a human being. It's really satisfying to me on one level. Yet on some other level, all I want is to go higher, do better, achieve more. I don't just want to be a writer, I want to be a great writer. I don't just want to be a good person, I want to be a saint. I don't just want to get some things published, I want to write a great work that will be read a thousand years from now. I seem simultaneously grateful for what I've achieved and incapable of being truly satisfied. I want and want and want great things, I dream of towering grandeur, and I feel I have to keep going until I've achieved it.

[Anonymous No.10388383]

I think I might be too autistic to enjoy fiction. Things like symbolism completely escape me in books (and even movies/TV outside of really blatant examples like the Rottweiler at Barrone Sanitation and the Bear in season 5 of The Sopranos). Should I just stick to reading philosophy and shit-posting Jordan Peterson memes? Can anyone on the spectrum chime in?

[Anonymous No.10388393]

Paranoia Agent is a decent watch so far and it's sad to think that Satoshi Kon is so underrated

[Anonymous No.10388402]

I recently move back to a big east-coast city in the USA after living in the west coast. I'm a tall fairly attractive white guy with long kurt cobain-ish type hair.

When I was on the west coast most people were pretty receptive and friendly to me but here on the east coast it's a lot different. Lots of short Jewish professional-types and balding early-middle aged men going to and from work sneering at me or appearing disturbed by my presence.

It's like my long hair and lack of business attire is a personal affront to them, which I suspect is magnified by feelings of inferiority over the fact that I'm much taller than them and am not balding. If only they knew that Atman is fundamentally the same as Brahman and that there is only the illusion of separation of ourselves from each other and god they would let go of such pretty concerns, smdh nigga.

[Anonymous No.10388418]

>>10388402
Why don't you just cut your hair if they hurt your feelings so much?

[Anonymous No.10388436]

>>10388418
>implying my feelings are hurt at all

[Anonymous No.10388479]

>>10377509
I wish I had just one friend who also liked poetry

[Anonymous No.10388523]

>>10377509
I should really be studying for my philosophy final at 8am.

[Anonymous No.10388621]

>>10387260
I would guess somewhere near 60%. The Asians get it from somewhere else.

[Anonymous No.10388684]

>>10380699
I feel you, man. I've had two head injuries. I've just been adrift, rudderless in a sea of fog. I just flit around aimlessly like the worst textbook stereotype TBI.

Meditation helps. It was so hard to work up to even 30 minutes of it, but it helped me strive towards improving myself without comparison to who I was before. Also, if you can get it, I had a wonderful speech therapist. I couldn't read more than 3 minutes at a time after my last injury, and now I can for 30 minutes.

[Anonymous No.10388793]

>>10377509

jet fuel cant melt steel beams.

i can seduce myself. i can learn to seduce other people.

all of life is a seduction.

[Anonymous No.10389193]

Every heart beat feels like the ticking of a bomb
Or a note from a jack in the box that slowly unwinds
The silent clown will wait for the final turn of his revealing
To close your eyes and cup your ears is to cheat
I don’t want this, I don’t want this, I whisper to myself
This was supposed to be a gift, so now I wait
Hoping against all expectations that this is not what it seems


Sorry if this is gay

[Anonymous No.10390255]

>>10388133
Yeah, I suppose you're right. I think I was just trying to justify taking the easy route. I'll pick up a KJV copy soon.

>>10388144
I'll probably still use some other sources to supplement. Have you tried some of these apps? I'm looking for something more academic and I feel like many bible trivia apps will be geared toward middle aged women.

[Anonymous No.10390260]

Someone stole my first novel that I wrote for NaNoWriMo back in like 2009 and posted it on a fanction site and here: https://www.inkitt.com/stories/humor/76844/

I don't know how to feel about it.

[Anonymous No.10390283]

>>10390260
Call that absolute faggot out. What are you waiting for?

[Anonymous No.10390294]

>>10388684
Hey man, I'm really sorry about what you're going through. The experience of living another kind of life cognitively from everyone else is pretty surreal.

My issues don't seem to be as severe as yours, as I after 8 months seem to be able to read for more than an hour, sometimes even 3-4 (when studying) if I take breaks. A lot ot things have improved and I can take longer walks now without getting completely exhausted (although I'm probably at least a couple of months away from being confident enough to try light jogging). I'm pretty hopeful that I will make a full recovery since I've progressed so much in these 8 months, although my brain doesn't seem to be in a hurry about it.

Are you doing any vitamin/supplements? I recently read a decent book about neurogenesis and I've had seemingly good results from omega 3 and curcumin supplements.

Do you think that the length of meditation makes much of an impact for you? I've been meditating for 10-15 minutes every day since july, but I never go as long as 30 minutes.

[Anonymous No.10390300]

>>10390283

Ok, called out. Still really confused.

[Anonymous No.10390304]

>>10388684
I fucked up early enough in life and tried to end my life on my 18th birthday while on a lot of acid in the woods. I ran off a 100+ foot cliff with a 30 foot free fall. Long story short, I’ve had a tramautic brain injury for the last seven years. Said TBI fucks with my short term memory, attention span, and mental processing to the point that I fuck up nearly everything I do. I can’t drive, I can’t relearn all the knowledge I lost when I hit my head and acquire a GED, I’m naturally half blacked out every moment of my life, and I don’t really remember what’s going on most of the time. I don’t really have any friends or any skills.

I wish I had taken a different path. I was able to be in the position you’re in now, with the world at your feet, but anxious about taking the first step. Even if you stumble, you’ll be able to catch yourself if you want to. Some people fucked up so badly that they’ll never have that privalage.

I don’t even have it that bad. Compare my life to that of someone’s who’s parent is on heroin, someone born irredeemably poor, someone born in a family of morbidly obese opiate addicted hoarders. At least I was given a chance to shine before i permanately dulled myself. Not everyone gets that chance.

Don’t be a dick, kid. Don’t intentional hurt your future because you’re afraid of facing it. Get over yourself, get out there, and live your life to the fucking fucking fullest.

[Anonymous No.10390314]

>>10390300
Well, take it as a compliment. Some cunt thought it was good enough to steal and pass it off as their own for attention.

[Anonymous No.10390336]

>>10387315
talk to a shrink perhaps? I mean they know about that shit and they can give you a personal recommendation based on your situation and needs

[Anonymous No.10390803]

Just a couple of weird things to get off my chest
>My body is so weird that don't even break a sweat while having intercourse, and it takes like an hour or so to finally climax. It's annoying the fuck out of me.
>I can't believe I joined a retarded ideology to cloak over the fact that I'm a friendless person with an inferiority complex. It's kinda like Bizzaro /pol/ and not on 8ch.
>I want to go to my old church again. I know religion should be more spiritual than a required setting, but I miss talking to the old church goers. they're always so "colorful" to talk to.

[Anonymous No.10390845]

>>10386468
I'm Jack's complete lack of surprise

[Anonymous No.10391157]

>>10388402
You represent chaos, the source of death, destruction and terror, lack of control, as much as it may be found elsewhere, a sense of ease may be commonly found in stupidity

[Anonymous No.10391161]

>>10388479
What poetry do you like, friendo?

[Anonymous No.10391172]

>>10389193
>Sorry if this is gay
I liked it very much anon but I am very very gay

[Anonymous No.10391208]

r8

[Anonymous No.10391236]

>>10391208
Never listened to any of it, but
>indie rock

[Anonymous No.10391349]

Human beings should just care about each other more and not look for reasons to dehumanize one another.

[Anonymous No.10391389]

>>10391349
unless the people in question are low status whyte males who want wives then we should euthanize them

[Anonymous No.10391410]

>>10391389
NO. Everybody should feel okay about themselves. Society's mockery and hatred of loners and outsiders, and the tendency of those who consider themselves champions of social justice to look for excuses to harass and dehumanize certain outgroups, are all indicative of the core human problem: we look for excuses to dehumanize people.

[Anonymous No.10392436]

suh due

[Anonymous No.10393107]

>>10378401
explain

[Anonymous No.10393244]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_fA-Ls4RXk

[Anonymous No.10393272]

Today was tough. If tomorrow goes well, I’ll be done with it. I’ll be free. Five bloody years, and I’ll be free in a day.

I can’t regret it, though. I needed the pain, the despair, the catharsis, the tenuous hope; I needed the entire experience. But what will I do with „her“, now that our time together has effectively come to an end? I’m not a good person, and I don’t intend to play one, now. I won’t be cruel, however.

If I make it through tomorrow. If I make it. If...

[Anonymous No.10393281]

>>10377753
A lot of people go to the wilderness. Yes, the delirium and despair is part of it, by everything I’ve read.

[Anonymous No.10393312]

>>10388059
Facebook study groups.

[Anonymous No.10393358]

>>10377509

Thinking of her is growing increasingly painful for me, especially as I'd already been making such strides towards emotional self-reliance. Our relationship is so unique in my life that it's almost like considering two different individuals and being unable to even begin to reconcile in my mind that they are one and the same, and how to proceed from there.

On one hand, the familiar sentiments: I see a person ten years my junior whom I've watched grow up from the age of three, a precocious child that my friends and I were always fond of because of her advanced wit and maturity. I see that child now a woman, with many of the same dilemmas and insecurities I had, most of them arising out of a moral and intellectual nature totally asynchronous with her peers and the nature of the society around her. I see the same girl who I've regarded as a sister coming into the most difficult decade of her life, crossing the threshold where the forces of life will really start to press against and seek to snuff out her extraordinary light. And all I want, in that regard, is to continue to be a guide or mentor or good example in whatever way I can so that that light may be preserved.

But, on the other, alien, and increasingly nerve-wracking side, I am looking at an intelligent and considerate young woman from a family I admire, whose parents have made no secret of their own affection for me. When all I want in life is to start my own family and be a responsible father and husband, I am more often seeing a young woman and finding myself aware of the fact that - despite my long-standing brotherly affection - we are not blood relations and that the obstacle of our age gap is the same number between my own parents.

[Anonymous No.10393371]

>>10393358
Epictetus, who is wrong about a fair bit, is right here: do something, or stop whinging.

[Anonymous No.10393390]

Figural, oracular. Circumnavigation of what we cannot touch. Like stumbling through the dark and meeting nothing but finding at least a pattern to move in. As I have said before. Oracular is round like an orange ocular lacuna. Dracula. Figural an oral fig. The toothy mouth floating round the coast, never meeting it. That is language.

[Anonymous No.10393396]

>>10393371

Writing what is on my mind in an anonymous literary board is hardly whinging.

[Anonymous No.10393468]

Is organizing a story into four seasons cliche or just retarded

[Anonymous No.10393520]

>>10393468
Both! But you should totally do it anyway if you like the idea.

[Anonymous No.10393536]

I can't vote for anybody in America any more. I hate both parties and hate most individuals in both parties. I think I may just stop participating in the political process.

[Anonymous No.10393538]

>>10391172
I’m just glad someone liked it, thanks.

[Anonymous No.10393544]

>>10393396
I'll call it thinking if that makes you feel better. Whatever we call it, why torture yourself with it?

[Anonymous No.10393685]

I want to take a train trip across Canada.

[Anonymous No.10393709]

>>10393544
>>10393544

Because I've just come off two weeks of supporting my aging parents emotionally with their feelings of inadequacy in helping my alcoholic brother (who is a closet homosexual who recently revealed to me he knocked a girl up several years ago who then got an abortion without his consent.) I'm also taking care of an elderly disabled man who is dying of liver cancer.

Maybe it is whinging, but I've got a lot on my mind at the moment.

[Anonymous No.10393712]

Boy
Boy
Down in the street there is violence
And a lots of work to be done
No place to hang out our washing
And I can't blame all on the sun, oh no
We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher
Oh we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher
Workin' so hard like a soldier
Can't afford a thing on TV
Deep in my heart I'm a warrior
Can't get food for them kid, good God
We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher
Oh we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
Who is to blame in one country
Never can get to the one
Dealin' in multiplication
And they still can't feed everyone, oh no
We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher
Oh we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher
Out in the street
Out in the street
Out in the daytime
Out in the night
We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher
Oh we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher
Out in the street
Out in the street
Out in the playground
In the dark side of town
We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher
Oh we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher
We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher, Electric Avenue
We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue
And then we'll take it higher, Electric Avenue

[Anonymous No.10393722]

>>10393709
It would still seem better not to prick yourself with desires that will necessarily be frustrated by material circumstances.

[Anonymous No.10393732]

>>10393544

Also, I find writing out my thoughts anonymously oddly cathartic. I don't have any individuals in my life I am able to confide in; the vast majority of people I know have proven over the years to either misunderstand or become uncomfortable with my opening up, or else I respect them too highly to want to dimish myself in their estimation of me. Expressing myself on 4chan is a nice outlet. 9 times out of 10, people are total dicks about it which is a nice exercise in laughing it off for me. And then I'm occasionally pleasantly surprised by some genuine empathy. I've had more success at having moments of kindred spiritedness here than IRL.

[Anonymous No.10393744]

>>10393722

I understand what you're saying, believe me. I'm three feet away from my copies of Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus.

I can look rationally at my tribulations and still, unfortunately, be unable to keep the unbidden emotions away every moment. That's totally human.

It's still a journey.

[Anonymous No.10393763]

>>10393744
You seem like a sincere and forthright man. It gives me hope to hear about people who hear about similar people dealing in similar ways with similar things. Like maybe I'm not quite such a psychologically damaged vindictive degenerate. Keep up the fight

[Maskie No.10393770]

I let the chase continue
He wants only one thing now
He no longer wants my life
My life is so much hassle for him
He wants more tho
He wants many
I am to lead them
They are to follow me to their own slaughter
Like lemmings over the cliff
The children will be taken to the woods
One bye one
And go missing
Just the same
One bye one
I am safe for now
But now I am the monster

[Anonymous No.10394045]

I'm writing this shit up at 2 in the morning, someone please tell me if it's retarded:

Plans never seem to go according to plan. Some external obstacle may come up, or your interests/desires may change. Therefore it is tempting to think that planning is completely futile.
However, plans aren't only meant to be completed. They have a second purpose. Plans provide direction and induce action. They are motivating because you are working toward something. You don't have doubts about your current actions except insofar as you have doubts about your plan. But you should embrace your doubts about your plans because your plans will inevitably change.
How could I reconcile the idea of making plans with the idea of living life "organically"? By living life organically, I mean being completely free, not being forced to do something, doing everything voluntarily, doing whatever I'd like to do at the moment. But in what way does making and following plans conflict with living organically? Could I not spontaneously and freely decide that I want to make and follow a plan? The concern is that I am disciplining my future self by imposing this plan, thereby making him less free. But my future self would be no less free than I am - there is absolutely nothing stopping him from ignoring my plan. But of course that diminishes the purpose of the plan, doesn't it? I'd say no, since the purpose of the plan is simply to provide direction and motivation. The plan is not forcing my future self to take specific actions but simply helping him decide what actions to take.
Importantly, am I not making up micro-plans throughout my everyday life? I will make a plan in my head to go get some food, and I will go get some food (or at least try to find food; plans never go according to plan, after all). Or I will make a plan in my head to play a video game or read a book, and I will play a video game or read a book. I don't think drawing out long-term plans explicitly would be an issue, so long as I revise them often.

[Anonymous No.10394055]

Everything must look so small to the man who lives on a hill.

[Anonymous No.10394431]

boop

[Anonymous No.10394433]

>>10394045
>Plans never seem to go according to plan
p cliche

[Anonymous No.10394729]

For such a long time I was completely alone. Days would pass with no one to speak to. I hadn't felt love in 5 years. Now, I have her.
She loves me, and has for quite a long time, and I love her. I thought this would solve my problems, I thought this would bring peace to my mind. Now all I can worry about is if she is going to leave me. The other boys understand she is a catch but she turned all of them away for me. Some of them are objectively superior to myself but for some reason she turned them down for me. Why? How long can this keep up? Fuck.
If she leaves me, cheats on me, I will not kill myself. I'll just go right back to what I know is right. Living life as the passive observer, slowly watching the universe exist until my concsiousness fades away. But while I am with her, I can't help but live.

[Anonymous No.10394822]

>>10394433
Doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong.

[Anonymous No.10395028]

>>10393716
>>10393716
>>10393716

[Anonymous No.10395032]

>>10377509
A sentence emerges crytalizses on my screen.
Vibrating out from the internet.
It says to "write whats on your mind"
And I feel guarded.
I ask myself
Should I trust this verbage?

[Anonymous No.10395054]

I wish I was chasing the white rabbit down the hole

[Anonymous No.10395109]

>>10388054
>>10388059
Anyone got a serious answer for this? Anonymous boards preferably

[Anonymous No.10395164]

I want to read lord of the rings but I don't know if it's 3 books or one, I can only find one, is this the entire triology in one? please help me

[Anonymous No.10395169]

>>10395164
It is just one book. Sometimes split into 3

[Anonymous No.10395229]

>>10395164
Tolkien considered it one book. It's often split into 3 volumes, but yeah, it's also commonly released as one.

[Anonymous No.10395311]

Recently, I became a millionaire by buying a cryptocurrency over two years ago. I've dropped out of school, I have no interest in hobbies or seeking romantic relationships and becoming rich has made me more nihilistic than I ever was. I feel nothing, I never had any ambitions and the prospect of working is gone from me. More and more I am becoming Oblomov and I have no clue what to do. I feel I am literally losing my mind from not having any ambition or desires. There doesn't seem to be any purpose in anything anymore.
I'm not suicidal or depressed and I like living. I have become Nietzsche's Last Man and I don't know what to do.

[Anonymous No.10395534]

>>10395054
why?

[Anonymous No.10395697]

I hate mass immigration into my country and the rest of europe, but there is nowhere to go. help me

[Anonymous No.10396516]

>>10395229
>it's also commonly released as one.
really?
here in my country it's always released on tree books, sometimes you go to a book store and they have the two towers available but the other two aren not

[Anonymous No.10396876]

>>10396516
I'm talking about English editions, it might be less common with translations.

[Anonymous No.10397748]

I wish I knew how to accept love. Rather, I wish I knew how to abandon it and accept something less. If we did a study I'm sure we'd find perfectionism is one of the biggest killers of man. Why am I unable to accept feelings and yet so willing to want them? Why does my romanticism so thoroughly fight against any rationalism I manage to muster?
I wish I could see through it all, see through the fog I continuously steer myself into. When I was young, my parents drove me through the mountains. A mist hit us and I couldn't see 5 feet in front of me. My parents were terrified, and we were only saved by a couple of semi-trucks. They guided us out of it all. Nothing is coming to guide me out of this fog. I'm stuck, god help me, I'm stuck.

[Anonymous No.10397799]

I get my internet from a small, high-end ISP that offers gigabit speeds. Unless/until they get bought out, the net neutrality repeal probably won't affect me. But it does still annoy me.

[Anonymous No.10398171]

I'm having a pang of guilty conscience...I've been essentially living rent free in Toronto for the past 3 years after learning about the new landlord and tenant board legislation. Basically I have to move every 4-8 months but I'm a minimalist so it's fine. Essentially I find dumps run by dumb landlords who let me in without last month's rent. Sometimes I can get away with paying half of first. I still haven't had to use any sort of Housing Retention services which could pay my first and last for me.

Once I get the keys I move in and don't pay rent. They call and I make promises to pay but never do. The really dumb ones won't send me a notice of eviction for 1 or sometimes 2 months. After that I still don't move out so they have to figure out how to proceed legally. I always tell them "I know my rights!!" with indignation when they get upset with me for not paying. Meanwhile I make promises, sometimes I even throw them a hundred bucks here and there to string them along. So then eventually I get called up for a hearing with the landlord & tenant board which is usually set a month or so after they apply for it. So by this point it's been 2-4 months paying only first months rent if that. It really depends how gullible the landlord is.

Once I'm at the hearing I try and plead for a mediation agreement. During mediation I try to argue about the amount owing and make a deal. Sometimes they go for this, sometimes we go straight in front of the adjudicator. Either way I am prepared. In meditations I talk about how I got a new job coming up and I'll be able to pay everything soon. If we go in front of the adjudicator I usually bring pictures of the apartment showing mold, maintenance issues, etc. Last time I got about half of my arrears deducted, and I made an agreement to pay by a certain time. I never do pay, then I try to string the landlord along a bit longer. Eventually the figure out the next steps, and I get a notice to vacate from the Sheriff (usually a month later). Because I am on ODSP (social anxiety) my income cannot be garnished and I essentially get off scotfree.

While I do feel guilty I find it is more the fault of the lawyers and judges and activists that come up with this crap. In the last 3 years I've had to move only 6 times and I've realistically only payed about 4-5 months worth of rent in total. Only one landlord really seemed like he knew what he was doing and got me out in 4 months. I never have had a landlord try and come after me to collect arrears.

How /lit/ is my life?

[Anonymous No.10398616]

I'm only on here because I've totally exhausted my original ideas for inspiration and shitposting on /pol/ and such isn't helping.

Feel like a total failure, every time I write something I can feel its not...interesting. I'm many chapters into my book and even if I've only sort of managed to make a part of it somewhat interesting, every time I start something new...it's readable, but I don't see any reason anyone would ever get invested in it.

The part I'm stuck at is particularly annoying right now. I'm trying to make a whole grand strategic planning between...let's say between corporations, interesting. I know it can be, I for one certainly get interested by grand rivalries, strategy, huge wars and all, but why would people read such things? Perhaps I'm underestimating people by attributing attention spans and knowledge of the average person, which is pathetic since they consume shit like youtube, stupid tv series and the only popular books are stuff like Harry Potter. Perhaps I should just write what I find interesting. But even when I write that, I still feel it's not engaging. Especially in this. I really don't know how to make it so.

[Anonymous No.10398734]

>>10398616
Quit trying to write and write. It's like if you were having sex and constantly wondering whether you were good at it, it would make you bad at it. Yes, do write what you would find interesting. But not in some abstract, detached sense. Write what you find interesting to WRITE.

[Anonymous No.10399990]

do do dododo do do dododo do do dododo do do dododo do do dododo dodo dun dun dun dun dodo do do do dododo

[Anonymous No.10400432]

>>10387888
I think /pol/ spreading is the worst thing that's happened to this website; it kills discussions on non-/pol/ boards and it's almost always irrelevant to the topic and derails actual discussion.

[Anonymous No.10400447]

>>10388153
And the sad thing is that the reddit system is anti-serious discussion and discourse because of the upvote/downvote system, but the redditors colonizing here don't realize that.

If reddit and /pol/ stayed where they were, this website would be less shitty.

[Anonymous No.10401078]

I should have prepared for this meeting.

[Anonymous No.10401086]

>>10387888
I guess I'd be considered a /pol poster since I'm far right politically, but I can't stand it there. It's full of brainlets and lolbertarians who can't into higher level discussion.

[Anonymous No.10401092]

>>10377509
AHHHHHA££€_€\€\€HHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Anonymous No.10401119]

>>10377509

Have to do some bullshit program and i can barely code anything other than scripts which will take me days to complete!!!!

[Anonymous No.10401211]

>>10380699
>I'm so fucking sick of being impaired after hitting my head and getting a traumatic brain injury. It's been 8 months and I've put down so much work on getting better, I feel like I deserve faster progress
>I just want to feel quick again, being able to express myself sharply anytime I want to, as I used to. I used to be an animal when it came to retorics and discussing shit, now I'm so sluggish I forget words and lose what I intended to say the second before I was going to say it. I'm so tired of it all, I want to be healthy again

this is 100% me except instead of a TBI i have mysterious non-stop headaches. it's been 2 years and i am so so *fucking* sick of it. doctors, CT scan, no-one knows whats wrong, no diagnosis. i tried medication and it did take the edge off the pain but didn't improve my mental dullness, if anything made it worse, so i stopped taking it. i'm in the middle of my prime (26) and living in limbo, it feels so unnatural. i can't work, cant go to school, can't maintain a romantic relationship. i'm becoming more and more disconnected, isolated, with every passing day. most of my social interaction is shitposting online

there are people i can talk to but ive already said all there is to say and i feel like shit about my inability to articulate myself in rl conversations

[Anonymous No.10401648]

>>10401211
Psylocybin will sort that out. No joke.

[Anonymous No.10402378]

I was at my grandfather's funeral today. Not completely sure how I felt about it, or how I was supposed to feel about it. There was a viewing of the body several hours before the funeral. Many family members came. I sat on the other side of the room from the coffin. He was a humble man. Whereas most people are buried in suits or fancy clothes, he wore his t shirt and overalls, with his favorite hat resting on his chest. I felt uneasy being near him. His body was there, but it was as if he wasn't. The kindest and most godly man I knew had gone, and left behind an uninhabited body. In life, he was the most inviting and likable person you could meet. Finding out that he had died several days ago was a shock. He had survived a stroke, several UTIs, heart problems, and seemingly endless cases of pneumonia. At times, we joked that he was immortal. I almost couldn't believe the news. Though we all saw it coming. For the past few years, he had become less and less cognitive. Before we left the funeral home to go to the graveyard, I noticed something that comforted me a bit. He died as he lived, with a smile on his face.

[Anonymous No.10402404]

>>10402378
Sorry to hear anon. Glad he lived a good life.

[Anonymous No.10402428]

>>10402404
I sure as hell was sad, but I was somewhat surprised at the fact that neither me nor most other people there cried. I'm sure that's how he would want it. He wouldn't want us to be sad and mourn endlessly. He'd want us to be happy and to celebrate his life.

[Anonymous No.10402812]

>>10377509
For once in a lifetime I've seen how far I've gone. Only to realize nothing matters.