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10360505 No.10360505[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

tldr: How do I stop worrying about all the stuff I feel like I have to do?

Yesterday as I was reading war and peace to rid myself of the guilt of not having read it, I had the epiphany that I should read lots and lots of books to give my life some sort of aim and make myself more interesting. I imagined all the books I could read in a year if I read more than 100 pages a day. Then when I woke up on Tuesday I thought this was dumb and was a consumerwhore activity and I needed time for other stuff.

I am going through some parts of a maths textbook to feel less dumb about now knowing fairly basic stuff and it feels like doing stuff for a check list rather than out of real interests. Then I saw an online Stanford course on machine learning which is probably time consuming but I feel like I need to do that or else I'm dumb / missing something as well.

What is worrying is that I currently have a lot of free time and I'm wasting it. God knows how I'll feel when I have gone full wagie and have zero free time

>> No.10360646

>>10360505
Feels for you OP, I frequently have a similar problem. Taking fifteen to meditate in a basic yoga pose like tadasana or paschimottanasana is the best thing I've found, though that's certainly no sure fix.

Whatever you do, definitely don't take up smoking weed, though you probably already knew that. Some stoners will claim it helps them to calm down, but with your disposition it will almost certainly exacerbate your worrying.

>> No.10360672

>>10360505
I worry about this stuff, and even more outside the realm of learning and reading. Like, insomnia inducing anxiety.

>> No.10360684

I feel you anon and i also dont know how to fix it,

>> No.10360731

>>10360646
>yoga
makes me think of yoga pants and now I have to cum

>> No.10360754

>>10360505
uhhh maybe it's because you're too stupid to excel in any area so you aim instead to spread yourself thin by adding a bunch of other interests thereby creating an excuse for your overall ineptitude??
no, no. that is me of course, but i like to imagine other people are the same.

>> No.10360759

>>10360646
good advice anon.

OP, just keep reading and working. For the love of god don't compare yourself to people you perceive to be smarter than yourself. Do enjoy their company and try to benefit from those interactions, but feeling butthurt about your perceived stupidity or lack of knowledge will fuck you up in the long term. Took several years of undergrad and early grad school to get over myself and give in to not giving a fuck and learning as much as possible with very little value placed on success.