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/lit/ - Literature

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10185512 No.10185512 [Reply] [Original]

Why are normie writers so fucking retarded?

Pic had me losing my fucking mind last night.

>> No.10185519
File: 712 KB, 600x884, 4a4.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>harry potter meets star wars meets game of thrones with a dash of the great gatsby

that sentence alone made me puke

>> No.10185624

>Harry Potter

>> No.10185808

New game: We guess the plot to that story.

Hidden school for gifted children who are amazing at math. Each divided into houses, the MC is rival of the great gatsby type who throws eccentric space parties around the near by 'forbidden' asteroid field. Lots of politics between houses. MC befriends a dumb guy from one house, a super smart guy from another and a sassy black female type alien. End with the headmaster dying by accident. Novel ends with
>“So we fly on, rockets against the space, borne back ceaselessly into the blackhole.”

>> No.10185823
File: 136 KB, 500x365, 32525643643.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.10185835

>mmm yes, beautiful the rape was, harry

>> No.10185849

Why are you getting angry at some random fag on reddit?

>> No.10185856

>Going on reddit

Maybe you should go back there and never come back.

>> No.10185862
File: 74 KB, 599x563, 1508229997528.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

OP why the fuck did you post this
I don't even know what I'm feeling right now but I don't like it

>> No.10185891

Its probably just a bullied 15 year old nerd.

>> No.10185906

Fuck you OP, they are learning to write. Stop the elitism you horrible piece of shit. It's just makes you sound like a truly insecure faggot that got triggered easily.

>> No.10185921

Pleb spotted

>> No.10185922

holy.....i want more.....


>> No.10186181
File: 130 KB, 490x350, mfw.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>unironically using reddit

>> No.10186216


>I'm blatantly copying the most popular fantasy/sci-fi of all time with zero attempts at contributing anything original to the genre
>I can't come up with a good last sentence, and am using reddit for writing advice

I know it's cool to hate on Harry Potter/A Song of Ice and Fire here, but it's depressing when someone with writing ambitions doesn't understand that what Rowling and Martin did was carve their own niche into popular fiction, not just regurgitate what had come before them. I doubt if that person understands exactly why those things became the popular culture phenomena that they did.

>> No.10186227

This guy is definitely joking dude.
>I don't know what to put for the last line -- maybe I shouldn't have one?

How retarded that sentence is shoulda clued you in.

>> No.10186251

This. It's funny and also a bit Borgesian tbph

>> No.10186279

I found the page on reddit. Someone asked what he has so far for his ending and this was the response
>"I bid thee, farewell, Hampton, you sly devil," and Mickey took the bottle and bit off the wax seal, he drank heavily of the milky poison, and the end came like a falling piano only much quieter , but many decades later, Mickey's son grew up to be a master of Bushido, he was walking along the street dressed in his electric blue Bushido Gii in Neo-Tokyo and he found an empty bottle.. the same bottle his father had drank, he smirked and tossed the bottle into the night sky, the never ending dark that encompasses us all, fading, fading, until we disappear into the void, the bottle also vanquished.

>> No.10186290

More lovecraftian or possibly kafkaesque desu

>> No.10186294

Holy...I want more!

>> No.10186296

I puked

>> No.10186297
File: 16 KB, 300x300, beckett.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.10186305

There's just... so much wrong with this post all at once. I don't understand...

>> No.10186310

Fuck off back to r/writing thanks.

>> No.10186318
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>> No.10186343

>tfw have a sneaking suspicion that both the OPs are the same person and that the majority of discourse on 4chan starts with a piss glacier

>> No.10186359

"And that was the end of what was never true"

>> No.10186372

Yeah this has to be a joke.

>> No.10186374

Only one enemy remained; two if you counted God.

>> No.10186391

slick, what's that from?

>> No.10186396
File: 362 KB, 2263x1795, wew.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.10186404

>dialogue connoisseur

>> No.10186410
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One of us, one of us.

>> No.10186411
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>> No.10186418


>> No.10186421

"But I suppose, after everything I've been through what I truely understand now is there will always be/I always was [title of the book]"

>> No.10186423
File: 38 KB, 1024x576, 1459367936586.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

The poor girl is probably sobbing in a corner right now, what have we done?

>> No.10186432

>and THAT'S how I got into this situation! *record resumes playing*

>> No.10186435

/r/writing is pleb

/r/writingprompts is THE patrician sub thank you very much

>> No.10186443

>and then he turned around and stepped on a rake that hit his nose hard as fuck, the end

>> No.10186445


>> No.10186447
File: 25 KB, 400x462, disdain.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>claiming intellectual high ground
>taking the time to insult colorfully instead of pointing towards the path of improvement
Truly nothing more despicable than an unvirtuous mind filled with hate and contempt.

>> No.10186472

>Thinking anyone on plebbit is redeemable

>> No.10186492

I like how he thinks "And Jenny slammed the door on her mistakes" is better than "And Jenny closed the door."

>> No.10186500

>thinks those were suggestions and not examples
I want to read this shit now

>> No.10186505

Everyone is redeemable. Even redditors. Even you, my jaded friend.

>> No.10186511

>on reddit
>one of us

>> No.10186512

>He thinks talent is irrelevant

>> No.10186518

what the FUG

>> No.10186548
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>> No.10186555


>> No.10186557

John Green?

>> No.10186574
File: 19 KB, 403x392, efd.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>pm me if you want to be published

>> No.10186631


>the end came like a falling piano only much quieter

He didn't mention Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was an influence

>> No.10186653

This OP is definitely trolling, and they're hilarious.

>> No.10186658
File: 778 KB, 789x623, Screen Shot 2017-10-19 at 02.56.06.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>those were examples, not suggestions

>> No.10186687

>reddit author
do you expect tsarist russians to list the bible as an influence? It's implied

>> No.10186731
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>> No.10186776
File: 686 KB, 1280x1714, Cat in bed.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

This is a joke post right?

>> No.10186800

hahaha, you epicly showed them the error of their ways haha
seriously though, kys

>> No.10186822
File: 386 KB, 667x670, whynot.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>the comment has a delete button

>> No.10186824

Learn to read.

>> No.10186840
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This made me actually lol

>> No.10186842

That wasn't very nice

>> No.10186847

Why would you lose your mind over what may be the most generic thing ever written?

>> No.10186849

>he thinks talent comes without development

>> No.10186851

>upvoting yourself
>lest* you infect

Terrible fucking post.

>> No.10186852
File: 26 KB, 656x465, leastrare.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>pretentious asshole
>lmao dae futa cocks?
>namedropping 4chan all over reddit
>plays mobile games to the point of discussing them on reddit
>plays worst diablo
>recommends starting in media res as a way of artificially raising reading difficulty level
>spends more time shitting on sf&f than actually offering constructive advice or even just telling those people to fuck off
oh yeah and
>posts on reddit every day anyways
the only thing I found in your post history to give me a shred of hope was that you're sometimes suicidal

>> No.10186855


>> No.10186865
File: 41 KB, 560x846, 1495448705828.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>itt tards knowingly take satire literally that they might call others tards
Man, 4chan really has become something perverse. It's indulgence in the extreme, a disturbing level of being comfortable with meaninglessness, a literal celebration of nonsense. There's empty recreation, and then there's this...it's like you're trying on expressions, discourses, things of substance, with a knowing disconnect for the sake of it.

Sort yourselves the fuck out.

>> No.10186880

>hey guys! reddit told me to come here to "step up my game" haha
>woah, some of you guys are weird! you know normal people don't act like that, hahahaha..... I thought halfchins was a kool kids klub
waow ur so great i wish i cud be as spooked as u

>> No.10186890

It is precisely because I've been here a very long time that I know things weren't always so. Also, there's a time and place for meming Stirner anon, this is neither.

>> No.10186896

>actual fucking thread about retarded reddit posts
>being critical of such proves you're from reddit
the level of cognitive dissonance here is staggering

>> No.10186929

it is a literal, unironic fact that redditfugees scream at reddit more than anyone else in an attempt to fit in
now then, you have to go back

>> No.10186935

>he said while screaming at reddit
just stop

>> No.10186938

>in an attempt to fit in
Its an anonymous image board anon.

>> No.10186941


fucking kino

>> No.10186947


I can't read passages like this because it will trick me into thinking im a good writer.

>> No.10186951

>reddit posts = reddit posters
oh no, somebody has autism
yes, and? where do you intend to go with this?

>> No.10187010

>That's freakin' awesome, oh wow!

>> No.10187264

using the word "smirked" is the ultimate pleb giveaway

>> No.10187279


>> No.10187280
File: 1.32 MB, 2911x3790, Thomas_Mann_1947.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Stop the elitism you horrible piece of shit
Is there a more faggy sentence?

>> No.10187321


>> No.10187345

Everything ThomASS MANN wrote because he was fuckin GAY

>> No.10187362

Remind yourself where you are.

>> No.10187364
File: 101 KB, 210x195, 1457070416953.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>many decades later, Mickey's son grew up to be a master of Bushido, he was walking along the street dressed in his electric blue Bushido Gii in Neo-Tokyo
This has to be a joke

>> No.10187411
File: 3 KB, 240x250, 1507656168730.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Top kek this is genuinely funny.

>> No.10187450

They had taught Al that staying inside the lines was appropriate. This was the only way that he could reach his true potential. But this was Al's education. It was rote, he didn't feel any different to those children--adults now of course--who had worked in all those factorys because they could fit in the really tight places. The ones that were cramped and often contained one bolt that was a little loose. But it was enough to stop the whole operation.

And GOD knew AL had a lot of loose screws. They certainly did need a little fixing.

His pencil was always sharpened. He thought as he tested the sharpness of his pencils precariously on the ridged canyon that was his thumb.

"Ok, everyone." Ms. Rogoffo announced in a clear commanding voice. She was ugly. Her mole stood at attention when you talked to her. It had a couple of long black hairs competiting for real estate on that fucked up mug.

"I want you all to write a 1,000 word essay. I wanted it to be on the complexities of the non-linearization of ultra fast taylon atoms moving @ speeds faster then light in the atom rings of electrons."

But Al remembered that the human body emits radiation each day. Neutrinos passed through him seamlessely, as if he was porous. But Al also emitted a couple of NEUTRINOS himself. They attracted people. Al was charismatic. He was damn good @ being charasmitic. Except, when he talked too much.

"Excuse me, Ms. Rogoffo" Al said with an ambiguous grin. "I can't write if I have no fingers." Al held up his two bloody stumps.

Ms. Rogoffo looked unimpressed.

"Al please throw those Ketchup packets away. Immediately." Ms. Rogoffo said.

And so Al walked over to the trash can and spit out his gum.

"And you were chewing gum, Al?" Ms. Rogoffo said with a mischevious grin on her face.

She had talked to Al's mom. To be frank, Ms. Rogoffo thought that Al was a little slower then the rest of the kids. In fact, she thought Al was as dumb as a pile of rocks. She had had the conversation with Al's mom just now actually.

"Al is doing great. He's shown proficiency in all areas of maths. He's a poly-glot as well. He eats a little too much. We can fix that though. I think we should accelerate his learning a little. Only because he's so much more special then the other kids." Ms. Rogoffo said.

And so that was how Al's honors oral exam had gone. Al thought he had aced them. All the other kids couldn't have matched his charisma.

>> No.10187464

can't be real

>> No.10187477

>This has to be a joke
nothing gets by you anon

>> No.10187488

10/10 to be fair.
Would read

>> No.10187494
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>one of us

>> No.10187509
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you NEED to go back

>> No.10187545
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I've read graphic gay rape scenes that didn't make my asshole clench as hard as this did.

>> No.10187552
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