/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.10158277]

Write what's on your mind.

[Anonymous No.10158284]

>>10158277

that that that that dont kill me can only make me stronger

[Anonymous No.10158285]

>>10158277
Pussy in a sarcophagus

[Anonymous No.10158287]

post a thumbnail I'd want to see for the next several hours and I might.

[Anonymous No.10158292]

Kanye "Obama ain't got not Jewish oil money" West

[Anonymous No.10158293]

Being a woman is hell. I'm a man in a woman's body and the world has no way of dealing with it. Men are annoyed or confused by the fact that I don't want to be their slave. Women are all willing slaves and impossible to date.

Being a woman is only bearable if you're unconscious cattle. As soon as you individuate and become a human, there's no place for you in the world.

[Anonymous No.10158294]

>>10158287
STROPB ROWING SA AND ACTUALLY r e a d R E A --- D ! ! (books)

[Anonymous No.10158295]

>>10158293
How old are you?

[Anonymous No.10158298]

>>10158293
you are literally me.

[Anonymous No.10158303]

>tfw virgin
Feels gud lad. Only have 11 years before wizard status

[Anonymous No.10158307]

I'm supposed to write a research essay on anything I want and I can't find topic. Was thinking of just sperging out and doing some Nick Land topic with similar obtuse prose

[Anonymous No.10158309]

>>10158293
>not wanting a willing slave
Your loss

[Anonymous No.10158362]

Just mustered courage to ask a girl out, it was cringy as fuck and she will certainly block me but I can't die without never having a gf or never taking risks.

[Anonymous No.10158370]

>>10158362
You stop caring after a while. The key thing now is not to overthink it. Just let the cringe happen, accept that the worst might happen, and laugh anyway.

Think of it like being a paratrooper. The way to be a good paratrooper isn't manning up and agonizing over one jump. It's jumping 50 times.

[Anonymous No.10158399]

>>10158370
Fuck she just messaged back, I'm going full spaghetti.

[Anonymous No.10158406]

>>10158399
Spill the beans, anon.

[Anonymous No.10158409]

>>10158406
She's laughing at me, how tragic.

[Anonymous No.10158412]

I put on a facade of cheer and happiness when really I’m fucking depressed
Therapist wasn’t any help so I’m just wait for an act of god to take me out

[Anonymous No.10158419]

>>10158412
Great name for a gun though

[Anonymous No.10158422]

>>10158409
Laugh back. Tell her it was a joke, you knew she was a lesbian.

[Anonymous No.10158427]

>>10158293

Anon.. easy on the lesbianism

[Anonymous No.10158456]

>>10158422
Wew, it turns out she was laughing because she thinks she's too ugly to be asked out.

[Anonymous No.10158474]

I'm so tired of dealing with the shitty people in this town that I'm ready to go into isolation until I'm 40 and people may suck less.

[Anonymous No.10158479]

Herzog and Adidas man you know they love me
If Nike ain't have Drizzy man they would have nothin, woo!

[Anonymous No.10158493]

>>10158456
Goddamn plot twist of the century right here.

[Anonymous No.10158495]

>>10158456
Fuck, she accepted. It's happening lads.

[Anonymous No.10158501]

ive written up and erased a post for this thread three times now
im too afraid of even the slightest critique against my presonality/character and the only way i know of dealing with it is alcohol and pretending to be someone im not at all times
i often catch myself thinking of something i said and then wondering what some of my more confident friends would have said instead
i'm void of any social traits and steal my behavious from others, no external originality at all
like a joint nightmare of dostoevsky and hesse
i wont go over this post again i'll just make it worse on myself

[Anonymous No.10158695]

I have ideas, too many ideas to count. All these ideas float in the vacant room inside my head. Like scattered papers the ideas will touch the ground and then be carried off by the wind again. An endless cycle of thinking and forgetting and remembering and scrapping. And when the ideas anchor down in my head, I feel the need to act, but my body stays grounded. Is it fear of bearing my ideas out unto the world? Or is it that I've become too lazy and complacent to utilize my creatitivity? Whatever it is, it has blocked my road for too long. And I have cemented an order onto my heart. A message to imprint into my soul for all eternity. With a fire in my eyes, and a pep in my step, I will start writing today. And if I break my own pact, may the Lord prepare a punishment beyond comprehension. For lying to myself is a sin I would never forgive.

[Anonymous No.10158748]

>>10158479

YEEZY YEEZY YEEZY

["Anonymous" No.10158901]

Right what's on your mind.
Wright, what's on your mind?
Rite: what's on your mind.
"Wright, what's on?" "Your mind."
"Right, what's on?" "Your mind."
...right? What's on your mind?

>>10158293
>As soon as you individuate and become a human, there's no place for you in the world.
This is the case for anyone. If it wasn't, anyone wouldn't be individual.

[Anonymous No.10158942]

>Smoke marijuana because I am degenerate
>Get a really great idea for a novel/essay/whatever
>Go to the computer to write it down before I forget
>End up being distracted by Youtube and music and 4chan
>EVERY.
>SINGLE.
>FUCKING.
>TIME.
I'm beyond feeling shame or anger. I've just accepted that this is a natural occurrence that happens, the same way some people get the munchies when they're high. I also try to justify it by telling myself my ideas are probably shit anyways.

[Anonymous No.10158947]

Does the Indo-Tibetan scholanon (from the last Buddhist thread) lurk this thread?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUmU-AL2GMI
What's that ritual at 15:00 about? Is it Bon or Buddhist?

[Anonymous No.10158956]

kanye west is so self-absorbed that he feels indignation towards himself, because of his own antics

example; talking abut bleached assholes over a remixed gospel hymn and referencing god and chaining profanities in one breath

[Anonymous No.10159027]

I'm getting sick of him not replying. it frustrating. My mind starts to wander and create spooks. I am pathetic, I am weak. Maybe I don't deserve to love. either way It hurts.

[Anonymous No.10159298]

>>10158474
They won't, you'll just get better at accepting this.

[Anonymous No.10159320]

>>10158901
Where is there a place for those that escape? Will it always be lonely?

[Anonymous No.10159322]

>>10158474
Also, move.

[Anonymous No.10159334]

>>10159027
Because you aren't communicating the importance of him replying to you because you're too insecure to be vulnerable about it.

Fucking teens.

[Anonymous No.10159336]

I keep it 300, like the Dorians

["Anonymous" No.10159457]

>>10159320
No, there's no place you can arrive at where there are no problems. And there's no person that could give you refuge or comfort at all times. But it's expected of you to have these desires. Still, it's not something you should hinge on. So what can you do? When everything will fall apart, what is there to be done? You can't do nothing, because that's impossible anyway. And when you yourself are falling apart, how are you going to fix the world? But, if you think back, how was it that there was "you" and "the world"? If you think about it, all you have is your experience and even if you get surprised, it's still your experience. You might think so much you go blind and deaf to what's outside your body, but that doesn't make your body not be on at all times. So then you might say you're at the mercy of your body, or you're entrapped or some such.

People cling to what is good, or, to be more in line with our times, what is "successful". Only when you resolve a problem you allow yourself to be yourself. The drunk, the procastrinator, the masturbator, the anger, the envy, the gluttony, the greed, all of those couldn't be you, right? There's no way. And yet all the successful things are born out of the much larger realm of failure. I've thrown myself to the filth looking for a diamond, but since I wouldn't dirty my hands I never found anything--but that's simply a metaphor, I'd be more clear saying me solving the problem was the problem.

Humans are weird in that at their core they don't want to improve, and yet they don't care for their own benefit. This is because most people can't even fathom some of the problems this world faces, and yet because they don't try their hands at it, it's much less of a mess.

So maybe the place you're looking for is very close, or maybe it's far away. If you want to go there, go. If you want to talk to somebody, just talk to whoever you find. Or perhaps you can't do any of these things. But don't rattle yourself about it. It won't do anything other than rattle yourself. If you're alone, let yourself be alone.

Oh, your two desires are kind of contradictory.

[Anonymous No.10159468]

>>10158501
FUck you nigger bitch its an anonymous image board. How the fuck do you expect to make tracks in any form in life without at least throwing a piece of yourself out there. Just look at your fuck ups as practice and keep on fucking up. One day you will stop fucking up as much but for H.Christ's sake keep trying.

[Anonymous No.10159475]

Even though I know I would never have been able to do what I wanted with my life anyway, knowing the best I can look forward to in my life is quietly collecting NEETbux, reading, and playing video games is kind of miserable.

[Anonymous No.10159486]

>>10158942

I'm in the same boat. Do NOT stop fighting, and don't try to fight it in the same stupid ways either. Outsmart these behaviors.

Also, weed will slowly destroy your body and mind.

[Anonymous No.10159490]

>>10159457
Perhaps those desires can be, but I don't believe that need to be. I may be naive, but the that doesn't mean that I can't choose freedom and good, and all aspects of the world. It may tear me apart, but I refuse to believe that it is impossible to embrace all of that.

[Anonymous No.10159501]

I've eaten lunch with a girl three times and overall sat with her for over seven hours without asking for her number. I think there was even a point where she was scrolling her contacts list in front of me, but I didn't make the connection until a day later.

She is also more intelligent than me, which is not something I'm used to. She makes connections that throw me off. I was worried I'd find it intimidating but if anything it's endearing and adding to the intrigue, like static on a balloon.

I don't know how many more opportunities I'll have. I am likely to see her on Thursday. I am trying very hard.

[Anonymous No.10159510]

I don't want to do anything. All my life I tried to force myself to do all sorts of shit, but the truth is that I really don't want to. I'm not depressed. I'm not sad. I just really don't care and I never have. I'm not exactly sure where to go from here. Maybe I should just off myself because I hate effort so much.

[Anonymous No.10159515]

don't say no

[Anonymous No.10159517]

I hate myself, and don't believe I'm capable of succeeding at anything, so I never really try. I just feel shitty for not accomplishing anything, but don't know what to do or how to get out of this hole of shame and self-loathing.

[Anonymous No.10159540]

>>10159501
I had that this year with a girl and it ended up being nothing. Hope but also brace for disappointment.

[Anonymous No.10159545]

>>10159501

>I am trying very hard.

If you wait for the perfect moment, the perfect moment will never come

If it's going to happen, then it will happen despite imperfect conditions

Go for it you motherfucker

[Anonymous No.10159558]

I want to study the brain and the mind and the soul. I don't know whether to study Psychiatry or (clinical) Psychology, in that matter.

I cannot align myself with a perspective that considers all biochemical, yet by not choosing it I feel like I'm ignoring some major truth. I still feel like Psychology fits better with my artistic and scientific aspirations though, as if it were more versatile.

But I'm not sure of anything.

[Anonymous No.10159577]

I'm lost in confusion cause my things are material

[Anonymous No.10159585]

>>10158285
Posts like this are what keep me coming back to /lit/

[Anonymous No.10159642]

>>10159558
Studying both neuroscientific and philosophic understandings of the mind allows you to balance between soulless determinism and useless idealism.

Feeling must not be forgotten, or else the world becomes bare and worthless, but evidence cannot be forgotten either, or else you will never actualize your mind in the world around you.

Ideas without action are dead.

[Anonymous No.10159726]

>>10159642

You have no idea how much I appreciate these words. I could have not said it better myself.

Thank you

["Anonymous" No.10159782]

>>10159490
This is blocked it my country, but perhaps it isn't in yours?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2cbvHdrYOg

[Anonymous No.10159819]

>>10159726
Adding, maybe it's pure heart at talk, or naïvety, but I feel that the second options permits me better to branch out to Philosophy, Neuroscience, Arts, without restricting myself to a scientific and methodical understanding of the world

[Anonymous No.10159847]

I've decided to become a "security guard" (night porter) and pursue my dream of getting paid 12 dollars an hour to read

[Anonymous No.10159863]

>>10159726
Don't forget about anti-psychiatry

[Anonymous No.10159870]

there're two sites that worth visiting in my entire experience on the internet: 4chan and scribophile.org. Gonna take my time to dwell here for a while. I'm too lazy and don't wanna get anymore frustration from keeping exploring.

[Anonymous No.10160115]

>>10158293
hey, at least your not black bud

[Anonymous No.10160133]

How did I go from not talking to anyone for 2 years to craving attention so much that my whole week can be ruined by a girl saying she can't go out for lunch today. How can I go back to functioning normally in society, I already pushed all my old friends away and now I'm desperate for attention.

[Anonymous No.10160145]

anyone who writes their problems on this site unironically is a fag lol

[Anonymous No.10160237]

If I don't make any sense, please ask me to clarify what was misunderstood.
How does action come about? What are its causes and conditions? How does every kind of action (body, speech, mind, consciousness) interact with each other? Are there any other kind of actions? Is there a hierarchy? Can they influence each other and change? How do I change myself (mainly my instincts) to be more like my goals? It's not about what's reasonable and what's not reasonable; I became skeptic of reason a lot of time ago [what now seems a lot of time].
Today a woman fell in front of me while boarding the train; the city's subway is a jungle, I tell you. I think she had some kind of degenerative disease. Her body was disproportionate and small, her high heels seemed too big on her and she was wearing sunglasses.
She fell twice in a row. First with the initial punch of the mob trying to get into the train and then while trying to stand up. Why didn't I rush to help her? She was 2 steps away and I wasn't in a rush at all. Of course the people immediately next to her helped, but why didn't I?
I kept my distance from the mob and went deep into my thoughts. I knew I felt compassion for her, I was the same as her.
She got down in the same station than me. She was limping in a really painful way. I directed my thoughts, honestly and humbly, to her pain and wished for her well-being.
I wasn't regretful that I didn't help her (I try not to keep regrets, to not cling to the past), I was just surprised by my inability to act (in bodily form and in speech). I felt compassion but didn't do anything about it.
Is it a gradual training? It's been a while like this, not being able to act; I'm losing hope (effort is hard for me to build).

[Anonymous No.10160264]

>>10158277
There is humming in my ears. It becomes louder during periods of rest. It's like sitting at the bank of the stream up the canyon, it's a wonder why it doesn't bother me. It's rather peaceful.

When I was a child my hearing was perfect, I was able to hear the blood rush from each heart beat with my ear resting on a pillow. I remember that noise keeping me up.

But it is my age I guess. The humming is damage to my body, mostly from using a rifle without ear protection. My age finds comfort even in the familiar stresses. Even the rising pain of my sad heart when it thinks of her, it blooms with a spiraling helix of pain and joy connected with dusty images of true connection. I couldn't then, but now, in this leathered corpse I can honestly say - "I can see you love."

[Anonymous No.10160281]

>>10158277
Trump could dispose of Hillary and Bernie easily but wouldn't know how to run against Kanye.

["Anonymous" No.10160344]

>>10160237
What is action?

[Anonymous No.10160439]

Landlord wants to check condition of my apartment. There's nothing bad going on but a lot of random broken stuff. I don't know why I'm stressing about it. He shouldn't freak out and it's probably a matter of like $200 from deposit when I finally move out. Still it's annoying to have a stranger with power over me peeking at my miserable existence.

[Anonymous No.10160522]

I don't know why I'm even here. I don't like to read. The book I'm trying to read now completely bores me. I'm just doing it so I might just become a little less ignorant.

[Anonymous No.10160533]

>>10158495
Congrats :)

[Anonymous No.10160549]

>>10159320
> place for those that escape
> those who escape enter the place
> will it be lonely?
lmao

[Anonymous No.10160603]

>>10158277
I handle the pressure of the world by pushing away the people who want to be closer to me.

This week I ignored a girl I'd been fucking because I couldn't deal with the rest of the shit in my life.

No response from her anymore. So long whore.

[Anonymous No.10160647]

>>10160603
Fuck dude.
Are you me?

I blocked a girl on FB who I had been seeing casually and messaged her saying I couldn't be friends.

Started out fucking, become friends, she didn't want anything "serious," I can't be physical with someone without developing feelings, so I told her I just wanted to be friends.

After that she seemed like she was less "real" with me, not sure if I was just paranoid or not but something at the back of my mind told me she didn't really want to hang out or talk anymore since I didn't want to be physical.

Shit was stressing me out everyday, would check her facebook constantly trying to read between the lines.

So I decided the only outcome was either A) me growing more attached to her and eventually losing her as a friend (even though I at heart wished for more then that, just not friends with benefits).
Or B) Cutting her and I off, and secluding myself from the world further.

I went with the latter.

I've been much much much less stressed as a result, but nearly everynight I can't help but question if I made the best choice.

And even if there was never anything serious between her and I, small little things remind me of her.


Fuck relationships holmes.

[Anonymous No.10160675]

>>10158277
Dragged away from my future, looking back on what never was, can never go back, can never have it, future looks bright, but lost potential and wasted years will always taint any future happiness. It will never be as good as it could have been. The best years, the most important years, the formative years are gone, and I will always be alone. The window is gone and I will never be who I could have been.

[Anonymous No.10160686]

>>10160647
Sorry to hear that bro.
Personally, the biggest mistake I made with women was sticking through a really shit relationship with a girl because I was afraid of being alone. Maybe I fell in love, maybe not. Love's vague.
But after ending it I came out the other side feeling free as a bird.
We're strong enough to be alone.

The reason I ignored this girl was because I had a lot of work and I was stressed out about family shit. Just didn't want to deal with a girl during those times. She's there for sex, the girls will always be there for the good times, but they're fickle when life hits you in the dick. My homies will be there when the hard times hit.
Protip: Best way to deal with these scenarios is to not say shit then whenever you feel like talking to them make up an excuse. Better to say my phone broke, or I had to visit somebody in the hospital then telling them something like "we shouldn't see each other this weekend"

[Anonymous No.10160687]

>>10160549
Yeah, I realize that my question was contradictory. I don't want to be alone, but more than that I want to know.

[Anonymous No.10160695]

>>10158501
Everyone steals behavior traits from others. It's how we learn how to interact with other people. For some of us it just takes longer, and for some we just possess an odd ability to shed our social skin and become completely new people when we encounter different circles. Maybe we're just trying to find ourselves. Not sure.

[Anonymous No.10160729]

>>10160695
Find ourselves and find the kind of people we need to be around. For me, imitating the people around me was just something I did to get through periods of my life without having a breakdown (which happened anyway in a few cases).

[Anonymous No.10160752]

>>10160439
>but a lot of random broken stuff
what and how?

[Anonymous No.10160760]

>>10160686
>Protip: Best way to deal with these scenarios is to not say shit then whenever you feel like talking to them make up an excuse. Better to say my phone broke, or I had to visit somebody in the hospital then telling them something like "we shouldn't see each other this weekend"
....no...not likely

>Protip: Best way to deal with these scenarios is to

Tell the truth:
>The reason I ignored this girl was because I had a lot of work and I was stressed out about family shit.

So there is a chance you will talk again, and things are still ok between yall, but shes just paying you back for not answering her and you are being over dramatic with your post, but if not, and even still, you could have just said the truth

[Anonymous No.10160788]

>>10160752

Blinds torn and paintwork on floor messed up from drunken rummaging.

[Anonymous No.10160802]

>>10158495
I'm really happy that your emotional risk paid off, anon. Honestly. Good on ya! :)

[Anonymous No.10160872]

There is no difference between the Christian God and the Atheist Cosmos.

[Anonymous No.10160877]

>>10158412
try psychedelics, one i was able to experience a transcendent moment, life became much more bearable and interesting.

[Anonymous No.10160886]

>>10158501
>ive written up and erased a post for this thread three times now
>i'm void of any social traits and steal my behavious from others, no external originality at all

it's a hard life and i don't know what i did to deserve it.

[Anonymous No.10160920]

Several emotional incidents today and this evening.

Today I reread Roz Chast's graphic novel. It made me laugh and cry.

Then, later, I read a few of Kafka's stories again for the first time in a while. They were so beautiful, one excerpt in particular, that I can't help but feel devastated about my prospects of continuing to pretend there's something more to be said. I feel like I've brushed against the summit, against the absolute limit of something. I don't know what to do. I've been writing 1000 words a day for the last week, and looking back on that work, or on any of my work, in light of what I read... they're absolutely incomparable, hardly even the same genus--further apart than a wolf and a chihuahua. I feel the horrible feeling of being thrown back down into the infinitesimal minor leagues of nothingness. I'd thought I was at zero, at least. At least you can build on zero! But I'm not even at zero!

I'm at some point between zero and negative infinity, and I'm still so far from the former that I'm not sure if I'll ever get there. To say nothing of reaching one, or two. And you have to understand, that through all this, the work of Kafka's that I read was somehow dwelling at an absolute magnitude, that is to say, it was somehow positive infinity.

***

Normally I'm not so spiteful and narcissistic as I'm sure I seem here. This was a special case. As usual, it takes me lines and lines (which are still nothing by his standards, aren't even enough words to make up an opening paragraph in his works) to even begin to swim around the honest concept that has been burning as bright as the sun in the center of my vision the whole time.

I saw a post on Facebook by a beautiful girl that I'd known. It was a beautiful painting that she'd done. When I'd last seen it, several years ago, the figure reminded me of Blake's paintings. Now that I know a handful of other things about art, or have seen a few more works of art, I think it looks more like the bodies limned by Michelangelo. I can't say what I mean without sounding stupid: They seem more true to life than reality.

Well that made me think of how lucky I was to have known two beautiful girls, personally, who were capable of creating beautiful things.

And that other one I have to pass over in silence, or at least treat more obliquely than anything else. Let it be enough to quote the poet who said that "he who can say how he burns has little fire."

And I certainly burn. In various ways, I burn. That is the navel of the whole thing, the sinkhole at the center of the ocean, the point that can't be avoided just as surely as it can't be explored.

To see her rocket to heaven, which is where she belongs, while I spend my languid, empty days here on earth, unclean, unhappy, out of step, ahistorical, backwards, debased, degenerate, dumb, maudlin, bad--and to have failed to reach zero, on top of all that! That was the final degradation, why I came here, why I can't be consoled, and why I still burn.

[saucy No.10160962]

Feel like dying again. Wish you understood my feelings but you never really were the empathetic type. I am pretty close to apathy, teetering on the edge of indolence and carelessness. I wanted you to realize that and save me from the vanity, but you were too busy being vain yourself. I guess this is how these tragedies play out.

[Anonymous No.10160987]

>>10160802
>>10160533
Thanks

[Anonymous No.10161244]

>>10158293
>>10158298
I can treat you right. You know that deep down, you need a man. I am that man. I'm a big man, I can protect you. I can satisfy you. Be my woman

[Anonymous No.10161283]

>>10161244
oh look it's a man who thinks he is amazing for no reason, how unusual.

[Anonymous No.10161294]

>>10161283
Right back at you roastie. You probably look like Ayn Rand, it would explain a lot. You could have ME, the magnificent gentleman, but I am unfortunately a pearl before swine.

[Anonymous No.10161305]

I thought I had a pretty good insight about American culture on /v/ earlier, but no one cared, and I'm anxious to make a thread just for this. Would anyone like to give some feedback?

https://boards.fireden.net/v/thread/393787934/#393806509

It's not a completely original thought, since it borrows from things like the paradox of tolerance, but I've never come across an in-depth look at this. The implications seem massive, and may explain idiosyncrasies like the cruelty of American slavery and our clinging to pop culture. Suppose this sounds like generic post-modernism written down, but it feels real now, and I'd like to discuss it.

[Anonymous No.10161523]

>>10158277

I hate christmas. Like I legit hate it. I hate the music, I hate the red-green color palette, I hate the cold, I hate paper snowflakes. I HATE THE RED-GREEN COLOR PALETTE.
I'm dead serious. I hate christmas because I hate the aesthetics of it. It started when I was a little kid and it's gotten progressively worse as I've gotten older. I suspect that by the time I'm 50 I'll have a grinch like psychosis from the middle of october to the january 31st.
I HATE GREEN AND RED SO MUCH! LEAVE ME ALONE!
The only reason I'm not actively burning christmas decorations as is, is because now I live in germany, and christmas colors in germany are blue-silver and white-gold

[Anonymous No.10161776]

I've been out of my mind. A long time.

I've been out of my mind. A long time.

[Anonymous No.10161899]

I keep stalking you, why? I have no feelings for you anymore

[Anonymous No.10161941]

>>10161523
Did you get diddled under a Christmas tree or something?

[Anonymous No.10161997]

I just jerked off, but I didn't come so now I'm kind of annoyed.

[Anonymous No.10162047]

>>10161899

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3g8kYC8WfE

[Anonymous No.10162128]

>>10159510
>>10159517
me 2. Are ye the same person?

[Anonymous No.10162139]

>>10162128
It seems to me that they're saying pretty different things. I don't see how both could apply to you at the same time.

[Anonymous No.10162312]

Does anyone else have recurring dreams about losing their grand charms in Diablo 2?

[Anonymous No.10162460]

>>10160760
Telling the truth to girls and bringing them close to you is a dangerous road my friend. You become indebted to them emotionally, and they will begin feeding you emotionally, and will deliver you all sorts of emotions and bullshit that you have to unravel, thus beginning the worrisome process of having to commit further to the relationship.

As for the 'protip': in my experience, people's emotions fluctuate. At a certain point, they stop being mad that you aren't talking to them and start becoming concerned about you. Use that to your advantage and give them an elaborate excuse which will make them sympathize with you, while respecting your choice to distance yourself from them.

As for the girl in question, I don't know if she'll fuck me or talk to me again. But that isn't the point. It hurts in the moment, sure, but involving her, or any girl detracts from ones own ability to handle life's burdens. And soon, her problems become yours.

[Anonymous No.10162617]

Recommend me some anti-internet books. I want to read about alienation in the 21st century, how the interaction of humans mediated by computers is driving people insane. Yes, I'm already set in my opinions and want to read someone else, someone more eloquent write about them.

[Anonymous No.10162634]

>>10162617
Check out the work of Ted Kaczynski. He wasn't playing around at all with his sentiments. Start with Industrial Society and Its Future, and move on to his collected works Technological Slavery if you want more.

[Anonymous No.10162653]

Gained a few pounds and now I look like a 12 year old

[Anonymous No.10162663]

there's no better place to be than the best place to be

[Anonymous No.10162674]

>>10158277
I am quitting my job as a lawyer to pursue and MFA in creative writing while teaching. It isn’t fully funded but almost, and I have no debt.

I’m beyond excited to finally have the time to focus on my writing and to escape the billable hour. Though I regret crumbling to my parents’ pressure and going to law school in the first place, I’m happy I’ve decided to take this step at all.

[Anonymous No.10162708]

>>10162674
Best of luck. The only thing that keeps me going is that I'll be able to return to school and study something else. Unfortunately I'm in tons debt, so it's becoming less likely by the day.

[Anonymous No.10162712]

>>10162708
Are you a lawyer?

[Anonymous No.10162719]

oily smarts

[Anonymous No.10162736]

>>10162712
I'm currently studying to be an accountant. Not able to switch at this point. I hate it so much, and I really regret the way I;ve handled my education.

[Tripped? No.10162764]

How do I make a unsecure trip?

[Anonymous No.10162767]

>>10162736
Well don’t put too much pressure on yourself to switch right away. The starving artist thing is a meme. Your experience in the world now will inform your writing later. Best of luck.

[Fag Bag No.10162774]

Niggers die on average at around 40, which some might say is 40 years too late, but there you go. Most people prefer their niggers dead, in fact. When yours dies, report the license number of the car that did the drive-by shooting of your nigger. The police will collect the nigger and dispose of it for you.

[Tripped? No.10162781]

>>10162736
I just want people to know I went with my heart and chose to major in sociology and I haven't regretted it. If you're talented it's best to study broadly because you can take your life in most any direction.

[Tripped? No.10162790]

>>10158501
My life sucks but at least it sucks because I have a rare permutation of personality traits. I'd hate to be you.

[Tripped? No.10162794]

>>10159468
Nigger bitch? Really?

[Anonymous No.10162806]

>>10160344
That's one of the things I want to know.
In this case, action is movement. Movement of either of the type of actions I mentioned, namely body, speech, mind and consciousness.
I can understand each one by it's own, but can't make them interact with each other. My mind's and consciousness's action was compassion yet my body and speech were actionless. Why? How do I make my body and speech act according to my mind and consciousness?

[Anonymous No.10162831]

>>10162781
Most of my friends majored in what interested them, and they turned out fine. They also went to much better schools than the one I attend.

>>10162767
I have to pay back a good deal of my debt before I can even think of returning to my studies. I'm just hoping that in five or six years I'll be able to cobble together an application that gets me into a a school I want to study.

[Anonymous No.10162866]

>>10162460
>As for the girl in question, I don't know if she'll fuck me or talk to me again

If you and others want the girl you are talking to and fucking to highly possibly not, then sure your advice was ok.

My advice was for if you did not want to highly probably lose this person, perhaps sludge through the gnarly burden of taking a minute to text back: 'Hey, how was your day, I want to hang with you this weekend but I dont think I will be able to, I have family coming to visit I dont see often and my parents are making me show up, also I have a lot going on at work stressing me out. But if I have some free time I will see whats up, and when I am done with all that I will look forward to seeing you'

Now I understand the true only reason you may have not wanted to tell that truth, was because you didnt want her to think the real truth you were telling her was you lying, because you werent feeling her, and just ditching her, by the truth seeming actually too conviently too much to skip out on her, the perfect excuses if they were false: yeah I have a lot of work and troubles with family and my dog ate my homework and I just stubbed my toe and im suppose to meet the president

[Anonymous No.10162889]

>>10162674
You should be thankful your parents pressured you to do that, you got the hard stuff out of the way and now have credentials that will last (how long?) so that you can pick up law work (anywhere in the country?) when you want

[Anonymous No.10162898]

You short-minded niggas' thoughts are Napoleon. My furs are Mongolian, my ice brought the goalies in. And I embody every characteristic of the egotistic: "he knows, he's so fucking gifted". I just need some time alone, with my own thoughts: got treasures in my mind but couldn't open up my own vault. My child-like creativity, purity and honesty, is honestly, being crowded by these grown thoughts. Reality is catching up with me, taking my inner child, I'm fighting for custody. With these responsibilities that they entrusted me. As I look down at my diamond encrusted piece.

[Anonymous No.10162902]

>>10162312
you're not alone

[Anonymous No.10162918]

>>10158412
read descartes' meditations and apply as if its an instruction book. step by step. that was an unexpected enlightenment for me but i can't guarantee it will be yours too.

>mfw it systematically destroys the present you to discover another you
>mfw i'm nothing more than a watch
>mfw heidegger insists that i'm only a derivation of time

these feels you'll only get later, after you've read descartes, promise me you'll read anon, i love you.

you're already dead

[Anonymous No.10162927]

>>10158456
WOW

[Anonymous No.10162931]

I have a very strong fetish that is eating me alive with my desire to relieve it but I am afraid my wife will leave me and take the kids as she's a hardcore Christian. I want her to piss in my mouth

[Anonymous No.10162932]

>>10162931
You can piss in your mouth without your wife’s permission, fag.

[Anonymous No.10162936]

>>10159457
i.e. you'll be alone and will need to find a variety of courage that is specific to your existence to get through this and then die in peace

[Anonymous No.10162951]

In the present moving towards the future, I am me.

In the future moving towards the present, I am what I am in the future.

In the present moving towards itself, there is no movement.

[Anonymous No.10162953]

>>10160133
you'll eventually find better ways to seek the attention and actually get it anon don't worry, keep yourself in distress, it works all the time, humans are great at instinctively solving these kinds of problems but need time. don't be ashamed of seeking anything

[Anonymous No.10162983]

>>10160237
you're reading too much into concepts and forgetting that these are in you in a very real way. you are their causes, not a book bible . examine yourself first and then construct the concepts that govern your thinking. this is basic nietzsche. (read twilight of the idols, simply skip any parts with terminology you don't get (usually attacks on the tradition of philosophy you can do without))

[Anonymous No.10163021]

"Trapped in a theater like Hitler"... as you may already know, in real life, Hitler was never actually trapped in a theater. He died in a bunker. Kanye is referencing the movie "Inglorious Bastards". Kanye isn't referencing real life, he's referencing the media's version of real life.

Another line goes like "300 like the Romans..." Now, he's referencing another movie loosely based on real life, "300". In real life, the forces of the 300 didn't belong to the Romans, it belonged to Greece. He's deliberately mistaking reality for his own version of it.

Kanye deliberately referenced two historical events, that had famous movies based on them, and referenced the media's version of these real events, as opposed to what actually happened. By doing so, Kanye is making an extended metaphor on how real life can be altered by the media, a concept which correlates to his own life (how the media perceives him as an ****, etc).

By doing so, Kanye is making his own version of REALITY with this song. These themes may be extended within the album. Since he calls himself a God in "I Am God", the album might be about his own shaping of reality. His version of the world, since he is a god. During "Black Skinhead", since he is God, he can alter reality and perceive it the way he wants to.

All the movie references actually have a bigger meaning. He's talking about how the media (ie movies) can alter the perception of things. The King Kong line is a reference to how the media perceives his relationship with Kim. They portray him as the giant ape, trying to kidnap the white woman.

[Anonymous No.10163241]

>>10163021
>"Trapped in a theater like Hitler".
Could have been referring to Hitlers love of opera, and perhaps its theatrical effect on his worldview, and/or the theater of war, and/or that 'the world is a stage' and Hitler is trapped as a historical villain character

[Anonymous No.10163284]

>>10160872
Christians believe that God is outside the world. Also, the idea of the cosmos is unconnected to the concept of right and wrong.

[Anonymous No.10163289]

>>10161305
That was pretty woke.

[Anonymous No.10163294]

More than I would care for is falling into place.

[Anonymous No.10163311]

>>10163021
enough of these english major apologetics of rap artists. he's just referencing a movie due to laziness/ignorance, there is NO WAY you can turn this into some deep point about how reality is ininitely malleable WOOO....

[Anonymous No.10163328]

TIL:

In February 1935, Wallace Stevens encountered Robert Frost at the Casa Marina hotel in Key West, Florida. The two men argued, and Frost reported that Stevens had been drunk and acted inappropriately.

The following year, Stevens allegedly assaulted Ernest Hemingway at a party at the home of a mutual acquaintance in Key West. Stevens broke his hand, apparently from hitting Hemingway's jaw, and was repeatedly knocked to the street by Hemingway. Stevens later apologized.

[Anonymous No.10163344]

>>10162983
>forgetting that these are in you in a very real way
Why do you say that?
>examine yourself first
This is what I'm trying to do, and this is why I make all these questions.
Thoughts are the activity of the mind. That is what I refer to as the mind's action.
Can you answer to any of the questions I formulated?

[Anonymous No.10163352]

If young Metro don't trust you I'm gon' shoot you

[Anonymous No.10163353]

>>10163328
>Stevens allegedly assaulted Ernest Hemingway

any word on why it occurred?

[Anonymous No.10163368]

>>10163353
I got this from browsing the Wikipedia entry on Stevens. There are three footnotes associated with the text I copied/slightly paraphrased from the Wiki. You might find some more info, or a lead to more info, in those notes.

[Anonymous No.10163414]

Wasn't light meant to be warm? Then why does knowledge hurt?

[Anonymous No.10163425]

>>10158456
Once she has used you as a supporting pillar, and regained some sense of self-worth, she will discard you like a pair of her old shoes.
That's my bet, but I wish you well.

[Anonymous No.10163428]

>>10163414
Stick your hand in a fire to find out

[Anonymous No.10163576]

>>10163425
She looked a bit haggard , like not even light make up or anything and grizzly hair. I'm not going on another date.

[Anonymous No.10163584]

>>10163425
She looked a bit haggard , like not even light make up or anything and grizzly hair. I'm not going on another date.

[Anonymous No.10163724]

>>10163576
>>10163584
pussy faggot, no more complaining about tf no gf for you

[Anonymous No.10163749]

>>10163576
>>10163584
looks like the dumb thot was too ugly after all

[Anonymous No.10163818]

>>10162128

Nah, we're not the same people. I'm the "don't wanna do anything" anon. My lack of interest doesn't come from the fact that I don't believe in myself or anything I like. I just don't feel like doing anything. My only regret is being like this, but no matter what I do I can't help it. It's very possible I have schizoid personality disorder. I have no idea.

[Anonymous No.10163829]

>>10158277
i really dont wanna do my homework

[Anonymous No.10163896]

>>10158293
>Men are annoyed or confused by the fact that I don't want to be their slave
I hope this is satire, for your sake. If not, seek fucking help.

[Anonymous No.10163981]

There had better not be an afterlife. I'm sick enough of this one, if there's another I'm taking the quick way out as fast as possible.

All I wanted was a normal life, but no, instead I get my life lived and directed for me by my abusive and controlling family, then get thrust into adult life knowing not one person. I have money, I have an apartment, I have a car, but fundamentally I've been alone so long that I don't even know how not to be. My coworkers are even beginning to notice, the shitty fake personality I use to get by in day-to-day life doesn't have enough depth to it to convince anyone long term.

I don't know how to get out of this. I've been conditioned to want nothing and put others' needs before my own. I've been existing for so long that I don't think I've ever actually lived, and the thought of simply existing for another 70 years or so isn't a pleasant one.

If only my terrible luck would bring a plane down on me or something, so I couldn't have to waste the rest of my life wishing I could feel or interact like other people

I should've just been a fucking soldier.

[Anonymous No.10164038]

>>10163981
>I don't know how to get out of this
Do you want out? Give this question some thought. Out won't guarantee better.

[Anonymous No.10164088]

>>10164038
Yes, for fuck's sake yes. Do you realize I haven't spoken to a real human being face to face outside of work in 8 months at this point? Not even a cashier. I just can't connect with anyone. The second I start talking people know that I'm bullshitting them, but if I told them the truth about myself they'd shower me with pity I don't want or run for the hills. I've had both of those happen in the past more than once, and I know they would happen again. Shit I had a literal therapist try to tell me I was lying when I told her I didn't smoke, drink, or do any drugs as a "coping mechanism" for my situation, because I didn't feel any need to. There isn't a person alive that can understand my fucked-up head at this point.

There is no fucking point to having anything that I have. You know, I was and still am a fairly smart guy, but I'd rather be some 80IQ dumbskull without two pennies to rub together if it meant I could have an actual life.

[Anonymous No.10164089]

So, another event of actionless compassion happened today. I don't remember what it was; I just remember I had to remember another one happened.
Consider this: you are a healthy young man sitting at the train and you see an old person. Common sense is you have to offer the seat to that person. You do it; the old person thanks you. That's an act out of compassion.
Now, consider this other situation: you are a healthy young man entering the train. You see available seats but you don't use them because you think other people can benefit more from them. Is this action also out of compassion? I think so. Will other people know you did this out of compassion? No one if not very few people.
Which situation made more impression on yourself? Definitely the first one. Is it a more compassionate act than the one in the second situation?

[Anonymous No.10164113]

>>10158362
>ask a girl out
Don’t do that, just kiss

[Anonymous No.10164118]

>>10158501
Read Sartre

[Anonymous No.10164135]

>>10164088
Do you not have any attachments to your actual life?
If you don't, traveling will help you. You'll meet people that has never met you before. This might sound obvious, but what it means is that you can be anyone you want to be while socializing with these people. At first, you will be a little bit disappointed with yourself when you notice some things you can't change about your behavior (or your way of thinking if you don't choose to travel). Then, you'll come to terms with these things because they are a fundamental part of you. Afterwards, you'll learn to take advantage of these traits to finally make sense of yourself.
If you do, try to find and read something that is along your ideal "self" but practical and realist enough to be cultivated. Then, find social circles that are not related in any way to your past self [yourself in this very instant, which you don't like] and start practicing what you have learned. Eventually, you'll find some people.
This requires discipline and effort. It's hard. I talk from my experience, and I'm not anywhere near the end of my road, but I hope my insight helps you.

[Anonymous No.10164158]

>>10164088
Have you tried dating websites?

And what do you want out of speaking to others face to face? Just some relation, some camaraderie and revelry? Someone to be interested in and in you and care about you, to hang out, talk to about subjects, go for walks, have a catch in the park?

You dont have to be so hopeless, these things are achievable, it just takes time and the right actions. How populated of a place do you live, are there coffee shops, walk around and try to find a homeless person to talk to.

Do you write?

[Anonymous No.10164178]

>>10158277
I post very common excerpts and poems in the critique thread to see what /lit/ thinks. It's funny how easily someone will shit on a classic author done anonymously.

[Anonymous No.10164185]

>>10164135
>Do you not have any attachments to your actual life?
No, my only childhood friend killed himself 8 months ago. I was forcefully cut off from everyone else.
>If you don't, traveling will help you
Tried it, doesn't work. I sit quiet in a building people watching or walk around and get looks like "Better call the cops before this guy snaps and shoots some people". I actually had a woman run from me one time when I tried to say hi to her in public. The only fundamental parts to me are a multi-decade conditioned lack of desire and passion and an inability to kill myself.
>If you do, try to find and read something that is along your ideal "self" but practical and realist enough to be cultivated
I've tried to be more like other people, but it just ends up with me making yet another half-formed public act of a personality with just enough cracks to make people realize there's something wrong with me.
>This requires discipline and effort
I am no stranger to either, this requires more but I don't know what the extra variables are.
>>10164158
Yes, I get no responses and occasionally get the odd catfish messaging me. It's degrading to be perfectly honest.
>And what do you want out of speaking to others face to face?
By asking this I can tell that you've never gone long without social interaction. I want to simply interact with people, maybe have a friend again. Something to do besides sit in a room silently wasting my remaining time.
>You dont have to be so hopeless
Respectfully, if you were in my situation you'd likely take a swan dive off the nearest apartment complex. I live in the capital city of my country, but nobody wants to talk to me. The second I even lock eyes with someone they act like I've just pulled a gun on them or something.
>find a homeless person to talk to
I like my blood and organs in my body thanks. The last time I did that years ago I nearly got skewered.
>Do you write?
No, I lack artistic talent of any kind.

[Anonymous No.10164239]

>>10164185
>my only childhood friend killed himself 8 months ago
I can't think of any words to say to this, only eye contact would be effective to communicate my thoughts.
>Tried it, doesn't work
What I mean with traveling isn't vacation tier traveling. Go to another city and live there for several months/years. I mean completely detach yourself from your current life and build another one from scratch. This is dangerous though, that's why I gave you two paths to follow. They are essentially one path though, and you should try both of them. Each one by itself and then both of them at the same time, and also none of them at all.
>get looks like "Better call the cops before this guy snaps and shoots some people".
Stop thinking that. That's pure autism. People don't think that when they look at you, and if they do they don't mean it. If they mean it, a polite smile will make that thought fade.
>I actually had a woman run from me one time when I tried to say hi to her in public
Happens to everyone. Everyone has been rejected, so what? It's in the past now anyway, don't cling to that stuff.
>I am no stranger to either, this requires more but I don't know what the extra variables are.
I'm not strong at all either, yet here I am, trying to build my hopes up so I can give you hope. Is that dumb? Probably, I don't care. If I makes mistakes I'll get up whether I want it or not, whether I learn from them or not; it's just natural, causal, conditioned.

[Anonymous No.10164243]

>>10164185
>Yes, I get no responses and occasionally get the odd catfish messaging me. It's degrading to be perfectly honest.

Try more dating websites and other ways to meet like mixers or speed dating, everything you can, because really likely a girlfriend would solve your stuff, obviously, partly, but you still have to be a cheery, good spirited, able to take care of another person, person, to be in the position to win one, so thats why I say, dont be hopeless, because being hopeless will only make all these things you want harder to obtain, though I understand if this is merely a culmination venting.


>>And what do you want out of speaking to others face to face?
>By asking this I can tell that you've never gone long without social interaction. I want to simply interact with people, maybe have a friend again. Something to do besides sit in a room silently wasting my remaining time.

No, I have spent a lot of time without social interaction and do currently, where we might be different is years ago for years I had a lot of social interaction.


>Respectfully, if you were in my situation you'd likely take a swan dive off the nearest apartment complex. I live in the capital city of my country, but nobody wants to talk to me. The second I even lock eyes with someone they act like I've just pulled a gun on them or something.

Find hobbies others may have, maybe a reading group, maybe a knitting club, maybe magic the gathering, maybe softball, these are things people do to partly because they enjoy activity, and partly because they seek human contact like you, I presume.


>I like my blood and organs in my body thanks. The last time I did that years ago I nearly got skewered.

Its probably mainly that you want a girlfriend, if you had a girlfriend I dont know if you would so crave so much male friends, as mainly you want distraction from boredom and loneliness. Set your standards lower, look for ugly girls to befriend. Take public transportation and try to start conversations with non homeless but friendly looking old people.

["Anonymous" No.10164291]

A nipple. I was banned for a nipple. Not two, but one.

>>10162806
Hmm. That's a tough question I'd pose a number of issues with. But, to answer straight first:

I've hand similar situations. My emotions haven't reacted when they "should" for most of my life. I've moved danced even though I felt like a complete fake for it, because it was the right thing to do.

Why should the body obey the mind, though? So often, it's the mind that obeys the body. Eating, breathing, pain, pleasure, and so on. It's clear the mind is affected by the body. And it's also true that the mind affects the body. Given memory surfaces as sensual, where do we divide the body and mind? Is the body present and the mind not? Is the mind our thoughts and imaginations? Is the body our reactions and limitations?

But, let's get straight again. You say you want to be compassionate, and be so throughly. Now, you might say you have it all done when it comes to your mind, but if I don't think about mind and body as something separate, then that's not the case. Perhaps compassion isn't the only thing you want to express. And here I'm neither thinking that compassion is good or bad, or that you are good or bad for trying to express it or not. Though I don't think being invariably good at all times is for the best.

Are you being honest? Shouldn't you be honest? What is better, to act goodly regardless of honesty or to be honest regardless of the goodness of your action?

That's what I ask myself these days. Am I being honest? Or is the person I want not who I am?

>How does every kind of action (body, speech, mind, consciousness) interact with each other?
A poetic answer would be: In time.

[Anonymous No.10164454]

>>10163284

Yes...?

[Anonymous No.10164476]

>>10158277
everything that happens in the sky is chem trail; the humans looking grotesque freak show like "I can't tell if it's male or female!"

kick out nest wish you best.....
time to bail.( *kick*)

fouls wings fail to flap flail; no glide or wing span pride stratosphere sail for said quail, tumble
drop out the atmosphere straight spinning beak to feathered tail
.
there goes another one....
oh well..

[Anonymous No.10164579]

>>10158277
I'm overwhelmed with school. I just want to get to my stack of books. The teachers just keep piling up more shit that I need to learn.

[Anonymous No.10165264]

I am always nice to people, because the only person who made my life shit, and I truly hate is myself.

[Anonymous No.10165284]

>>10164476
Two typos in that stupid fucking five word ad. EEEEEYYYYYOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEE

[Anonymous No.10165291]

>>10165264
In that case, you should be as mean as possible to everyone so they will be mean to the person you hate. How did you not think of that yourself?

[Anonymous No.10165293]

I never imagined to be working with disabled people. I am more surprised by the fact that I actually enjoy this line of work. Plenty of free time, irregular work times that suit my irregular sleeping times and generally chaotic lifestyle.
On top of that, I am also helping some shut in with his daily chores. A thing I had to receive way back when when things were pretty messed up.

It's oddly rewarding. Those smiles, the thanks and the fact that you can positively affect someones life feels good.
A job that I don't hate, now that's a real surprise.

[Anonymous No.10165322]

>>10165291
Other people don't deserve me being mean to them.

[Anonymous No.10165407]

>>10165284
>five word ad
pls explain sir.

[Anonymous No.10165454]

>>10165407
You explain. Fucking faggot. I'm butthurt? You're butthurt.

[Anonymous No.10165458]

Isn't recline a noun? Why isn't it a noun? Can't it be a noun?

[Anonymous No.10165475]

>>10165454
I literally don't understand what you mean by five word ad. why do I got to be a faggot?

[Anonymous No.10165477]

>>10159510
>>10163818

i feel the same anon. unironically try amphetamines, they do the trick for me. care about dosage etc though, addiction isn't fun.

[Anonymous No.10165486]

>>10165475
THEY'RE AT THE BOTTOM. IN RED. WHERE IT SAYS "double coupons".

[Anonymous No.10165495]

This thing about sobriety: the longer it lasts, the more I remember. Flashbacks I haven't had for years. Stuff from the time I was brighter and prettier and more insightful. Should I be glad for getting back something that was gone? I'm only feeling miserable for having lost it to begin with. I was fine with the lost years, I don't want this crap.

[Anonymous No.10165499]

>>10165475
They're at the bottom. In red. Where it says "DOUBLE COUPONS".

[Anonymous No.10165723]

>>10159870
>scribophile.com
Thanks anon

[Anonymous No.10165736]

>>10158495
you deserve it king

[Anonymous No.10165744]

>>10165495
>I don't want this crap.
please remove this sentence from your regular vocabulary you prissy cunt

[Anonymous No.10165872]

>>10158293
disgusting and mentally ill

[Anonymous No.10166563]

>>10162866
Precisely!

[Anonymous No.10166609]

What's in a look.
I was at a party yesterday. It was a birthday party. On a Wednesday. We'd all gone down to look at the new house the birthday boy was moving into. I had drunk about a liter and a half of cheap sweet wine and shared a jazz cigarette with three of the partygoers. We were all walking there when this fucker my friend is looking at me. I look at him back. He becomes aware he is looking at me and looks away. At least, that is what I think happened. One can't be sure.
What's in that look.

[Anonymous No.10166703]

>>10158277
My mom is killing me

[Anonymous No.10166722]

I fully believe that within a generation or two, Donald Trump's election to the Presidency will be used as a motivational story. Either as a "if this retard can become the fucking POTUS, what's stopping you from achieving your goals" type, or as a "even with popular opinion against him and various powers trying to stop him, he still won" type. Which type will become popularly used will probably depend on who wins the current culture war.

["Anonymous" No.10166806]

I oughta say what I mean and what I've seen so I stop coming off as a sanctimonious bastard by putting question marks after every affirmation I make so I don't give the vibe that I'm an authority. Gotta trust the fellas to be their own people, even if I know I can influence them; it's conceitful otherwise.

>>10166722
https://youtu.be/ldIwEG9xQ-M
https://youtu.be/wlLpCh-lE54

[Anonymous No.10166853]

I was reading about Foucault and stumbled on this little gem:
>Foucault turned next to the history of sexuality. Three volumes of his work on that topic were published, although the entire project was incomplete when he died of complications from AIDS the age of fifty-seven.
talk about ultimate justice

[Anonymous No.10166857]

>>10166609
God I hate beat writers

[Anonymous No.10166884]

>>10162794
Are you surprised at racism on 4chan?

I'm not saying it's good. I'm just genuinely asking. Because racism in this place is the only thing more common than text and images

[Anonymous No.10166901]

>>10163311
I have to agree. Kanye isn't educated enough in history to make a subtext out of a misconception. He's confident and talented at making music. That's it.

[Anonymous No.10166923]

>>10166857
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK

[Anonymous No.10166939]

I can't quite grasp the balance between the state that you are in being what you are supposed to go through at the moment and accepting it and going full gear on changing where you are at the moment right now. Basically acceptance versus being desperate to influence the situation

[Anonymous No.10166947]

Seen from above, this town probably looks like a Thanksgiving table.
Overcrowded, yet orderly in the middle.
Sparser and messier all around.
And, in every corner, people who wish they weren't there.

[Anonymous No.10166955]

fucking neckbeards man

["Anonymous" No.10166964]

>>10163311
>there is NO WAY you can turn this into some deep point about how reality is ininitely malleable WOOO....
*mythologizes behind you*
heh... nothin personnel... garçon...

>>10162936
Well, it's not courage exactly. Courage would imply there's something you hafta go out and fight. The other mistake is being "passive"; "passive" in the sense of "bearing passion". Funny how passionate people aren't passive, but passive people are bound to suffer.

[Anonymous No.10167063]

Is it bad that the last thing I want to do before I kill myself (not the VERY last thing) is play Super Mario Odyssey?

[Anonymous No.10167070]

>>10166947
this is a great bit of writing

[Anonymous No.10167077]

>>10167063
Nah sounds pretty comfy but i would recommend sticking around unless youre like cripple or starving or some shit

[Anonymous No.10167078]

>>10167063
What's the very last thing then?

["Anonymous" No.10167083]

>>10167063
I'd say wanting to kill yourself is the bigger issue her, but that's just my opinion.

[Anonymous No.10167085]

>>10167078
Loading the gun

[Anonymous No.10167105]

Didn't want to be impolite and make a new thread about this, first post on /lit/ pls go easy.

Does anyone have any suggestions for inspirational lit? In a bit of a rut in my life and I'd appreciate any suggestions of anything that's helped anyone gain a little clarity/inspiration/peace about the future.

["Anonymous" No.10167151]

>>10167105
The Ego and Its Own, by Max Stirner

[Anonymous No.10167172]

I really want "recline" to be a noun.

[Anonymous No.10167176]

>>10158277
By morning I wank,
In the evening I will spank,
My hands are very chaffed.

[Anonymous No.10167195]

>>10158293
Nah. You're just fighting against the tide is all.

[Anonymous No.10167220]

>>10167172
The part of speech that names a person, place, thing, or idea.

Isn't everything an idea than, everything is an idea

[Anonymous No.10167386]

>>10164291
I mean, I don't think it's about being good or evil. Let's put moral issues on the side. Moreover, in the words of Pablo de Rokha: "[...]-toda generalizacion es falsa; yo voy contra lo establecido, por el hecho de ser lo establecido;". I am not trying to generalize, to create something invariably "good", with eternal substance. Causality and conditions must be analyzed every time a new situation comes about.
Honesty is tightly related to intention; I thought about this the whole day. If the intention is compassionate, then compassionate action must come about.
I realized this when I was trying to be a gentleman with this girl. I was such a hypocrite; denied her the chance to be compassionate towards me. I really thought I was being compassionate (though my male instincts definitely got in the way), but it turned out that out of my own selfishness (after all, I'm the one who has to be compassionate towards others; other people being compassionate towards me is so strange, I'm not used to it) I imposed my action over hers.

I was warned for saying "Thanks" on /a/. Fucking mods I swear. How can they be so rude?

[Anonymous No.10167545]

>>10167386
>If the intention is compassionate, then compassionate action must come about.

not true, but compassionate action tends to result from compassionate intention. But there can be cases of good intentions resulting in not good.

[Anonymous No.10167645]

>>10167545
Having the intention is already an action, therefore, compassionate action is caused by compassionate intention.
Can there be compassionate action without compassionate intention? I say no. If the action is seen by others as compassionate, but the doer of the action didn't have a compassionate intention (whether knowingly or unknowingly) then the action isn't really compassionate; this is where honesty comes to play.

["Anonymous" No.10167647]

>>10167386
How do you define compassion here? If you're not trying to generalize and cling, why do you keep coming back to this concept?
_______

I got banned from /a/ as well. It seems the moderation has gotten really bad in there.

[Anonymous No.10167661]

>be me
>13 y/o faggot
>think I'm a rebel
>my friends and I live near a developing subdivision
>get the idea to break into a house
>most of the subdivision is still just land, only one or two houses are being worked on
>see that one house is mostly finished on the outside
>doors are locked
>find an open window
>we all bust into the house and start degeneracy
>everybody's drinking, our friend Stew stole his parents bourbon
>from all the drinking we all need to piss
>the bathrooms aren't finished yet, no toilets
>decide it'd be funny to just pee around the house
>the house is covered in piss, but we're all happy
>except for stew, he has a maniacal look in his eye
>says we need to go further
>?
>says we have to poo in the house
>everyone cowers, but I'm not a bitch
we go upstairs and pull down our pants
>start squeezing out a turd
>turd must have been blocking a volcano
>diarrhea explodes all over the whall
>feelsgoodman
>all of the sudden, while I'm mid shit, other friends start running and yelling
>based on my friends screams, whoever bought this house must have come to see its progress
>ohshit.jpg
>desperately look around for something to wipe with
>just stray pieces of plywood and some bubble wrap
>choose the bubble wrap
frantically pop in in my ass as I here the guy coming up the stairs
>my shitting companion had already fled
>decide its now or never
>run down the stairs, right past the guy
>went to grab me until he saw shit running down my legs and my tiny prepubescent cock waving around
>enough time for me to get away
>screams that he was going to call the cops
>don't stay long enough to see if he does

That's the time my friends and I ruined some guys house

["Anonymous" No.10167696]

>>10167645
So honesty is a positive attribute to you? My instinct is to say honesty is a negative attribute -- true by virtue of non-falsehood.

[Anonymous No.10167707]

>>10158277
Becoming estranged from friends because I don't play vidya anymore.

[Anonymous No.10167724]

>>10167647
Definition of a concept is indeed a big part of every discussion. I think any definition should be arrived by consensus. This being said, I'll try to write what I think is compassion.
Compassion is being ashamed at your [mind's] overreaction to your own suffering. Realizing others suffer the same as you, and that others suffer even more than you will bring tranquility. You will want to share that tranquility with the other, because you know at least two things: what they are suffering (because you also suffer), and what it feels like to not suffer. This is compassion; sharing yourself with the other. The "other" is key in compassion.
>>10167696
But what is falsehood then? It can also be formulated as a negative: non-honesty.
I mean honesty as mindfulness, non-delusion and non-ignorance of your intentions and your actions. Knowing, contemplating, experiencing (and maybe even manipulating) how each action comes about (and goes about) with it's corresponding intention is honesty.

["Anonymous" No.10167946]

>>10167724
>Compassion is being ashamed at your [mind's] overreaction to your own suffering.
Though the word "ashamed" kind of strikes me as too much, there's certainly something like that happening. Shame is a reaction to impropriety. One can be improper in quantity or quality. Impropriety strikes people because something is outside of the norm, is not in tune with the situation, does not "fit". It might be that the situation is purely in people's heads, but this is beside the point.

Now, when one puts a square object in a square hole, both the object and the hole "disappear", one fills the other, though they don't stop being there. This is why, to me, it seems better to talk about truth as non-falsehood than falsehood as non-truth.

Now if I talk about oneself and another, the analogy of the two squares still holds up. I cannot be myself without the other and vice-versa; as an alienated self I am incomplete, but, to begin with, the alienation is illusory because there is no complete alienated self -- the mistake is not in seeing that the self is incomplete but in looking for one that isn't. But the fact that this relation is inevitable is what makes it so there is no commandment for me to give myself to the other. And when there's no commandment I can give myself freely, spontaneously, not as an expression of a dialectic with a past, future or parallel self, nor as retribution or correction, there's no mediation that comes to fill the space between the two, one is not other to the other, nor identifies with one's self.

One might say then, that a problem might arise if such action were not to occur. However, if I'm correct, it is already the case that one exists for the other. If one were to look for the resolution to live for the other, one would not find it whether looking in or out -- the act of looking is already not having it, and it's in the end like trying to grasp air. "Beating a drum in search of a fugitive", is what they call it, because your mind will look for anything that it can grasp on to, it will do anything to run away from you, will use any names or resources it can to hide. So what you can do is trust yourself, because nobody can do it in your place.

[Anonymous No.10167968]

>do thing that causes cancer
>go trough chemo
>still doing thing that caused cancer
>wondering why its not going away

i really believe that most cancer types is comparable with getting the flu

[Anonymous No.10168060]

Limited keyboard, unlimited brain
Honestly, the psycho though is getting old. Time to shed the dull inner mechanics of the youth, embrace the coming wrinkled truth. 'read between the lines' overused but in this sense it's unobtrusive to be you. Masterpiece shlock I will bleed it on the tentpoles of modern American anticipation. I fucking am the one I am. Own it. Social media wikipedia brain fart. Real art.

"Prose for hoes",
Edition 1.2

[Anonymous No.10168188]

>>10158277
Now if I....

[Anonymous No.10168197]

>>10158277
Why, after applying scientific principles to the experiences facilitated by large doses of DPH can I no longer deny that hypderdimensional beings permetate our world. On occasion machine elves and "spiders" can just waltz into 3-space and the best explanation that any authority can give is
>You're schiziphrenic LMAO

[Anonymous No.10168219]

there is no place for me in this world. I am the reason I support eugenics, or at least population control

[Anonymous No.10168223]

>>10168197
>>>/x/

[Anonymous No.10168224]

I need so much money so i dont have to worry about money anymore. And anything human that is from the past i know, will be is used to acquire this amount of money.

[Anonymous No.10168228]

I'm worried I'm not using my energy correctly and I'm just deluding myself into thinking I'm making progress. I still have a mental block around picking a constructive project and getting started on it before I think of other things I could or should or would rather be doing. I have all the alone time I need, but I'm still distracting myself from making or achieving my goals.

[Anonymous No.10168239]

I wish I was a better boyfriend.

He loves me and says always that I'm a great boyfriend and that he's not settling on me over anyone else but I can't help but worry I'm not good for him. He deserves the world.

[Anonymous No.10168241]

>>10158277
I always find a reason to hate myself. why is that? maybe my standards are too high? i don't know anymore. The only thing I know is that I don't like who I am right now and ADHD meds are probably one of the things that could fix me, on a related note are there natural ways to improve focus (exercises, mental tricks etc.)? the future seems bleak, but I want to push on to see what happens

[Anonymous No.10168308]

banana-nana split in my pussy yayaya

[Anonymous No.10168312]

>>10168241
einstein didn't need ADHD meds

nor did Homer. you don't need them.

[Anonymous No.10168318]

>>10168312
don't compare me to them; I am nowhere near there level. I took meds as a kid, according to my mother they did not help much. I really just want something I can do to change

[Anonymous No.10168322]

I'm genuinely considering learning and practicing chaos magick in order to create a metaphysical waifu. The loneliness is becoming crippling, but I am so severely disconnected from other people that I don't see any other solution.

[Anonymous No.10168329]

>>10168239
>says always that I'm a great boyfriend and that he's not settling on me over anyone else

maybe start by not so often asking him "are you settling for me?", "are you sure?", "do you really love me?", "do you?", "do you?", "are you settling"

he always says "no im not settling on you over anyone else"

And if it is true you are not compatible, oh well. If you are you are. True love is true and theres nothing you can do but be you.

[Anonymous No.10168335]

>>10168322
go to the gym then get on okcupid

[Anonymous No.10168339]

>>10168329
I don't ask him much at all, quite rarely. I mostly just worry, and I worry too much about irritating him to talk to him about it.

[Anonymous No.10168340]

>>10168318
cultivate your own potential

fuck medication. jesus

["Anonymous" No.10168344]

>>10168197
Terrence, please, you're supposed to be dead. Go away before They come for you.

[Anonymous No.10168368]

My sanity is being slowly and painfully torn apart. I'm lonely, and most days, I speak to one person, if anyone at all. One moment I'm on the verge of tears, the next I'm dancing around the room to music like a maniac. Sometimes my anxiety makes me fear for my safety, and even getting a phone call from an unknown number will make me panic. I know that something is wrong with me, but I'm too afraid to see a psychiatrist.

[Anonymous No.10168372]

>>10168368
you should probably get medication

[Anonymous No.10168395]

>>10168372
I'm afraid of medication and I've never swallowed a pill in my whole life.

[Anonymous No.10168402]

>>10168339
well either you will be together for life, maybe married or not, if you are young and both relatively dumb, whatever, it might be serious, it might be a fling, you both might prefer other people in years.

Enjoy it while it lasts. Take it in stride. Maybe one of you or both of you dont really know what you want in life, dont really know what you want in a mate, dont really know how much you might change in a year or 3 or 5 or a month or week. Its hard to be certain in relationships.

If it doesnt work out, thats that, no use worrying or going crazy about it, it doesnt sound like its one of those 'oh no i cant believe I wasted 10 years with that person and then go a divorce, my life is ruined'.

[Anonymous No.10168438]

The sensation of morning sunlight beaming down on the young man's face was the most genuine feeling of actual warmth that he had been given in weeks. Beggars can't be choosers especially if you’re locked away in a cell by the British Army for 2 weeks with little to no human interaction. However, the young man's next destination would be his last, and he was well aware of that. Dry blood litters his boyish face as the two redcoats viciously drag him across the muddy-green lawn, finally tossing him under a willow tree as he gasps for air. One of the soldiers begins to wrap a rough piece of rope around the boys neck while the second redcoat ties the other side of the rope to the tallest branch in the tree. A crowd starts gather at this point, waiting in anticipation for the upcoming spectacle. Panting, out of breath, scared, in shock, the young man looks around desperately trying to find a way out of his current predicament. He sees nothing. Realizing that this is the end of his journey, he straightens his posture, lifts up his chin, looks directly into the crowd, and shouts in a raspy voice, “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country!”And with that last final phrase, the crows screeched and Nathaniel Hale met his maker. The life of Nathaniel Hale represents the three key characteristics of a radical: strong determination, a clever wit to see the plan through, and a controversial legacy for decades to come. Radicals must meet this criteria in order to be remembered in the pages of revolution

[Anonymous No.10168463]

May all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid, and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power and may people think of befriending one another.
May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wildernesses - the children, the aged, the strong, the weak the unprotected, and the protected - be guarded by the holy ones, and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood

[Anonymous No.10168483]

>>10168463
thanks for reminding me

[Anonymous No.10168492]

I don't want to finish my novel because it's got so many plot problems because I didn't make an outline before I started it. I don't how how to proceed.

[Anonymous No.10168496]

>>10168492
whats one of the plot problems?

[Anonymous No.10168622]

>>10158277
Puberty.

[Anonymous No.10168752]

>>10161523
It's ugly alright

[Anonymous No.10168756]

>>10161523
>>10161941
this tbqh

something definitely happened. sorry mang christmas is the best

[Anonymous No.10168787]

>>10158277
>be me
>My entire life, I've never really been into girls
>go through middle/high school, failing to relate with my friend's sexual frustrations
>actively avoid any girls who were into me, mostly because they were crazy(drug-addled, serious mental disorders) or just boring
>my first kiss was at 16 with a someone a few years older than me who forced it on me, our friendship ended soon after
>pursue my own interests while the base biological interests never kick in
>finally, at 19 I get my first crush
>girl into classic lit, who wore muted earthy colors and had a voice like cold milk
>someone who could match my rapid-paced topic switching conversation style, and had a razor-wit
>I develop unfamiliar feelings, I wrestle with them, she goes off to college and I never say anything
>We speak less after she left, and eventually stop talking
>it's been a couple years and I haven't felt it again
I think I might be autistic. I just don't feel compelled to be into women(or men, I guess). I'm pretty sure I'm missing out on something, but I can't bring myself to pursue it. Even when it's handed to me I can't be bothered. A girl and I drunkenly made our way back to my apartment and when she tried to fuck me I just wasn't interested and wanted her to go away. She ended up sleeping next to me and left the following morning and I haven't talked to her since.
What even am I? (besides a virgin)

[Anonymous No.10168804]

>>10168787
Asexual

[Anonymous No.10168858]

>>10168787
>had a voice like cold milk
I'm struggling to understand what this means.

[Anonymous No.10168872]

>>10158277
I'm reading Johny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo and there's a chapter where the MC is having a flashback to his old job where there was a hardworking Puerto Rican guy who got his dream job working in Hollywood, but can't figure out how he's supposed to leave his job working at a bakery because he feels like he can't quit on the person who gave him a chance to get his life started in America, so his coworkers start suggesting ways he can get fired. The guy keeps shooting them down because they're disrespectful and dishonorable, but ultimately he settles on destroying a large shipment of product and gets himself fired at the cost of his honor.

I've got no problem with all the parts of the book about the guy who got his arms, legs, and face blown off is slowly going insane because he's deaf, blind, and immobile, but that particular chapter was unpleasant to read and I don't know why.

[Anonymous No.10168899]

>>10168804
Maybe. I'm from flyover dirtfarming central, so the only "asexuals" I've ever known used the label as a defense mechanism because they can't get laid.
I do still think it's weird that I'd rather pursue my hobbies than instincts I don't seem to have, if that makes sense.
>>10168858
Sorry, I'm drunk and sleep deprived but I'll try to explain.
Her voice had a very fluid cadence, it was smooth and slightly creamy, so having the energy of flowing water but smoothed out into something more pleasant. The "coolness" of it hits you and draws your attention, relaxing you while making it easy to focus on, and the smooth way she said her words combined with the playful energy behind it fascinated me and drew me in.
I know it's a bad explanation for a bad comparison, but hearing her voice made a strange connection in my brain to drinking an ice-cold glass of milk, which I hadn't(and still haven't) had for years, maybe I should again and see how it compares.

[Anonymous No.10168947]

>>10168872
>but that particular chapter was unpleasant to read and I don't know why.
how do you not know why, you just explained why in the above paragraph explaining the chapter. Its the entire point of that bit of writing and why the writer thought it was worth writing.

Its not a good feeling for someone to falsely think bad about you. And also well, the awkwardness of really doing wrong, sacrificing image to meet an end.

We wish the guy could have just told the truth, and not left any bad impression, the owner should have been able to understand and cope, but I guess the worker was just to nervous to even bring such a thing up, still, and this is the quandary and awkwardness and nervous tensionness that made it unpleasant I guess.

[Anonymous No.10168962]

>>10168787
You are yourself, and you don't try to be another. Most people want to get laid because they see their friends, or because they think it's "normal". You had a crush. Someday, when it will be the moment, you'll discover your sexuality.

[Anonymous No.10169047]

I think I'm getting fucked up in the head due to stress of some kind, I've been grinding my teeth to fucking pieces in my sleep, which is sparse, and I wake up in cold sweats. I have a retainer I use to measure the matter I've lost since last year and it seems that I'll need dentures at thirty with this pace.
What are some books for this feel?

[Anonymous No.10169266]

I hate my family and I don't know how much of it is because I hate myself.

[Anonymous No.10169352]

>>10164089
I think it's all about wether or not you frame the definition of compassion off of the basis that you've been recognized. If the net effect of the act on someone else's life is the same, does it matter wether you've been recognized?

[Anonymous No.10169379]

>>10158277
Fuck it, here's a love letter that I'll never send:

There are so many people in my life who I meet every day. They speak so much and say so little, prattling on about themselves yet I don't even remember their names. Somehow I can't help but remember everything you tell me, to the point where it creeps me out that I'm like this. I guess if you genuinely start to care about someone, remembering things becomes easy.
I remember you always telling me about how inadequate you felt about yourself. "I try to play the game, but my game sucks haha..." You're wrong. "I'm weird" you say as you walk away, "you're not weird" I say back, and you persist "yes I am!" Those were your words, and by the look on your face I could tell you actually believe that. I understand that burden, that feeling of self-judgement in my own life yet for someone like you I can't wrap my head around it.
I see how strong you are. Everyone who meets you does and we're all amazed, because you are amazing. People are always pointing it out to you and I know how goddamn frustrating that can be, because I'm the same way and nobody seems to get how fucking isolating that can be. When I see that toughness you have I get this horrible gut feeling because I know what can cause that in a person's life. I don't know what happened to you, maybe I'm projecting my own shit onto someone else but I hope you're alright. I know for myself that my strength comes from overcoming terrible things, weathering storms. I hope I'm wrong about you, that we aren't alike and that you haven't closed yourself off in strength like I have.
You said you were lonely as you shrunk back in your chair and my chest hurt a little because you're just so fucking fantastic I can't even describe it. I don't want you to be alone. You couldn't be more wrong. Your game is great. It's just the timing and geography of my life and yours that really sucks. It absolutely kills me.
What if there didn't have to be "a game?" What if we decided not to play, to turn around, disregard everyone else's bullshit and do our own thing. You know I think you're incredible, and I know you think the same about me. Hell we've said it to one another so many times. What if you and I, two people who are somehow just so self aware, such insane over-thinkers, could sidestep all of that?
I want to sit with you under those desert stars and laugh about the absurdity of life, about the absurdity of myself, revel in the awkwardness and just enjoy talking to you, truly knowing who you are before anything else. Obviously I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to girl stuff like this, and you scare the shit out of me because you're the first person I've met who's worth it. I'm okay with that.
I remember something else that you said to me, "don't become a stranger." Thank you so much for that. I'm trying my best. I'm doing everything in my power to be back next summer. I'm sure we'll meet again someday out there in the west.

[Anonymous No.10169421]

>>10169379
You should.

[Anonymous No.10169553]

>>10169379
this is real sweet and would probably make the person its for feel good. Its from an innocent, respectful (not lustful and attempting to seducy romance), caring, place. A true deep spiritual love. You should send it because (even though its obvious you want more than platonic friendship possibly.... I mean, we must be honest that youd probably never write something like this to a guy) she would probably feel good to know you so have her back, are there for her, appreciate her, and want to chat and hang more.

[Anonymous No.10169852]

>>10169379
To me, you're just words on a screen, but you not sending it bothers me more than it should.
Why don't you send it, anon? You know, you could regret it your whole life. Don't let the fear and hesitation steal something from you that you might never get back. Is it not better to just take that step?
What if you could "sidestep" the thing that prevents you from sending it and just fucking go for it?

[Anonymous No.10169872]

I really can't find any part of me that doesn't loathe drug addicts, I have left mercy behind, now only disgust to tempers my thoughts.

[Anonymous No.10169875]

I really can't find any part of me that doesn't loathe drug addicts, I have left mercy behind, now only disgust tempers my thoughts.

[Anonymous No.10169903]

>>10169875
at least 3% envious?

[Anonymous No.10170044]

>>10169421
>>10169553
>>10169852
I think it'd be cruel if I sent it. The two of us worked closely together for a month this past summer taking care of teenagers out on a wilderness expedition. She went after me for a little while but then completely shut down when she learned I lived on the other side of the country. I'm stuck here in New England for another three years at least and will only be able to see her for a month each summer tops. She's also someone with a lot of loss and abandonment in her life. I don't want to make her feel worse by telling her there's someone who really cares about her but can't be with her, you know?

[Anonymous No.10170079]

>>10170044
yea, tis a shame... long distance relationships and all. I mean if friendship was truly important you could still be texting, emailing, phone call, skype... but maybe you a bit intoxicated with 'love'. And maybe after a few days of talking youd run out of things to say and it would be boring, and awkward, and after chatting she would end up cuddling with some other guys at night anyway.

[Anonymous No.10170092]

When I really think about it my life isn't so bad. I mean, I have a nice two-story apartment, a cute doggo that loves me, a big room and bed with a walk-in closet and bathroom all to myself, my mom loves me and I live like a NEET, not having to study or work to get by. All I need is just some friends, a gf, getting in shape, nice cloth...Oh, who am I kidding my life is shit

[Anonymous No.10170142]

It's been 4 months since we broke up. We've only talked once since then, and I was the instigator. Short conversation, just a few words. I thought she was over it, that she forgot. I was so sure of it. Yesterday she liked my post on shittagram at 0:30 in the night. She doesn't follow me, so she made the deliberate effort of looking me up and liking that post. Now my thoughts are all over the place again. Why? Why did she do that? I kinda want to talk to her but I'm too proud to instigate again, and she's too shy to outright say anything. If she wants to talk, that is.

And how fucking sad this whole thing is, that a personal relationship has been reduced to a like on social media. Even if it doesn't take much more than 15 minutes of my time a day, it's pervasive.

"I hate that we are strangers now."
Cliche but true

[Anonymous No.10170154]

[Anonymous No.10170169]

>>10170142
tough, its like a drug. You are proud you have quit cold turkey and you dont want to relapse. Why didnt she text you. Is she playing emotional games, is it bait, was she drunk and being sentimental or wasted. Is her ego bruised that you can quit her cold turkey just like that and not talk to her, she could have sworn there would be more weeks of you begging on your knees for her to take you back. Or maybe she is the one and you will get married. Or, maybe you can be friends with or without benefits....

[Anonymous No.10170217]

>>10168463
By oneself, indeed, is evil done;
by oneself is one defiled.
By oneself is evil left undone;
by oneself, indeed, is one purified.
Purity and impurity depend on oneself.
No one purifies another.

[Anonymous No.10170238]

Is it bad that I want to murder traps and have had to talk myself out of killing a few. Before you ask, no I am not normal and am diagnosed with a number of things they say makes me not normal.

I am even now sitting here and waring with myself over trying to keep a trap/murder fantasy at bay. Nothing fucked, just like a normal bat to the head till they are foaming at the mouth with brain damage. That way they get to see their family before they die because it only takes 2-6 hours to die from serious enough head trauma. I also wanna kill Feminists, Nazis, Lawers, Criminals. I actually don't understand what the fuck is wrong with my local health care system. I tell them all this and they just switch my meds and let me go. I am already going on my third strike for jail so is it the courts/medical systems fault that I have done everything to avoid wanting to hurt people and they haven't done enough to help me/save a life?

Oh well fuck it, I am probably just gonna go on my usual stalk walks tonight till she starts running, then call it an evening.

[Anonymous No.10170246]

>>10170169
Exactly.

She doesn't drink. She must have been sentimental. Does she miss me? I looked at her posts, lots of stuff about love. Is she simply lonely? Both? The memories, she said she doesn't expect me to fight for her, to beg. Was that true? Did I fuck it up? If yes, was I too proud and miss a chance? Could it have worked? Could it work now? Does she want it to work at all? Do I send a text and swallow my pride? If I get curved my dignity is gone.

I don't know what to do. I felt like shit after the break up, and I still do, although not as much. I mean, I mostly repress it to come to terms, I find it hard to write about it, even anonymously. I don't know what the fuck should I do, Anon.

[Anonymous No.10170293]

>>10170246
how old are you? How long have you known her? How long were you together?

[Anonymous No.10170299]

>>10164454
just saying you're wrong by providing two differences between the cosmos and the human idea of God

[Anonymous No.10170305]

I swear to god if you are ghosting me, I'll go up there just to hurt you. I don't know if this is just me being needy or the fact that we went from talking everyday to not talking at all. It's killing me, please talk to me.

[Anonymous No.10170340]

>>10170293
20. I've known her for 9 months. Spent 7 of that in a relationship with her.

That's one of the reasons I just "repress" it, I'm still young and 9 months is not that long. It still fucks me up.

[Anonymous No.10170421]

>>10158277
Like stars and mountains man was born from nature. In wilderness, man is able to draw peace into himself because it's here that he is forced to let go of his own ideas, to be made honest in everything. In the harshest places he sheds his more ornate self, returns to the fundamental. To heal, to love, to know the land is to know the truth, to internalize the inherent clarity and stillness found in massive silent things.

[Anonymous No.10170612]

>>10170340
yeah, gotta do a lot of weighing. What caused the split? I think part of the reason for high divorce rates is: Young people married, not 'fully' knowing themselves, not 'fully' knowing the others, not 'fully' knowing the world. If you think there is possibly another woman in the world that you would prefer to marry someday and could earn and take care of then this isnt your girl. If you think you know yourself and future self well enough to say that you could be happy with only this girl and grow old together (and that she would be the same way), then pursue it.

[Anonymous No.10170629]

>>10170079
Exactly. I recognize that my own psychosis and the serious traumas I'm dealing with in my own life have changed my perception of her into this perfect Venus-like figure somewhere off in the distance. At least I have the self-awareness to realize how unhealthy that is and just casually talk to her every now and then. It's interesting, the duality of that, and how we can sometimes fall in love with ideas rather than actual people.

That being said, she's so fucking cute it hurts.

[Anonymous No.10170967]

>>10170629
yeah, puberty and evolution and lust and loneliness and convenience and desire and maybe genuine respect and love telling you 'hey, maybe you wont find another one, shouldnt we stick with this one?'

[Anonymous No.10171072]

Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
If I made you feel second best
Girl I'm sorry I was blind

But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

[Anonymous No.10171096]

>>10171072
What the fuck is this supposed to be

[Anonymous No.10171098]

>>10171072
What One Direction song is this again?

["Anonymous" No.10171119]

Lingering between this and that makes me waste time. I hate this fucking routine. I hate this daily life. I hate that porn and bad food are fucking everywhere but I can't talk to anybody. I hate that this city is filled with trash and people can't even see it. I hate that any kind of art or thought has to be rebellry. I hate that I hate my body because there's no natural way for me to use it anymore. I hate the machines. I hate buroucracy and paperwork. I hate that we are obligated to compete with everything in existence. I hate having to always be efficient. I hate that doing "nothing" is a sin. I just want to read some books. I don't want a job. I don't care for any of the petty pleasure this civilization has to offer. I don't care for money. I want time alone. I want to finish the things I started. But it's all money. Everyone can have a TV and go to the library but feeding, curing and housing everyone just because they are human is too much. It never occurs to anyone that they needn't work to live. I don't care about pleasure. The only time I do is when I'm running away. And they're not going to convince me they're not the same. Have a party here, when the calendar tells you to, even though you know nothing about the solistice--and it's all settled. These normal, extraverted people wouldn't know what to love if the whip didn't tell them. I would hate them if they weren't hurting themselves the most. Dumb lot.

[Anonymous No.10171135]

KILL THEM ALL KILL THEM ALL KILL THEM ALL KILL THEM ALL KILL THEM ALL KILL THEM ALL KILL THEM ALL KILL THEM ALL KILL THEM ALL

[Anonymous No.10171140]

>>10158293
Sounds like you just need a good hard dicking from a virile black man.

[Anonymous No.10171183]

The concept of jobs and work in modern society is a tragedy. So many thousands of people-years are being wasted every day, maybe even every second. Not for a better life for anyone, not for any particular goal even, just fucking wasted on nothing. I'm not saying life is a gift to be treasured, but it's sure not to be wasted on some bullshit like having to do the things you don't really want to for the majority of your time just so you can keep up existence.

Does anyone really believe that there is such a thing as "work/life balance"? There is no life when your days don't belong to yourself, there is no life without freedom. People who have to work do not have freedom. The two days per week you are allocated for "life" are spend recovering from the last, and preparing for the next 5 days, into perpetuity.

There is no happiness, spontaneity, or variety in the working life. It is an anti-life, a negation of all that makes life essentially life. It is a death long before the physical death.

[Anonymous No.10171185]

>>10171183
Have you read any Thoreau?

[Anonymous No.10171188]

i am a kany beast
i am roman feast
i have three quarters of an ounce
inside my panteast

[Anonymous No.10171196]

>>10171185
Yeah, some. He kept collecting firewood and building his shack. I should revisit it. Why?

[Anonymous No.10171229]

>>10170629
do it pussy, you're just another pretender prole if you don't have the balls

[Anonymous No.10171463]

>>10171096
>>10171098
>/lit/ - write whats on your mind
>If I made you feel second best
>Girl I'm sorry I was blind
>But you were always on my mind
>You were always on my mind

[Anonymous No.10171470]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AssDQbaIP_I

[Anonymous No.10171472]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEDnmGnYb6I

[Anonymous No.10171583]

>>10171229
Things aren't always that simple anon.

[Anonymous No.10171630]

404

[Anonymous No.10171643]

>>10171119
Subdue the I for higher marks. It's repetitive.

["Anonymous" No.10171673]

>>10171643
>Subdue the I
But seriously, English praticularly sucks at this for not being a pro-drop language.

[Anonymous No.10171754]

>>10158277
From the time I was about eight years old, I was called "anxious and depressed." I was fed over 20 types of psychoactive drug throughout the span of my life. What does that mean? Why are so many children so sad? Why was I forced in and out of withdrawal from the time I was a child? Why wasn't I allowed to walk right, to sleep, to cry or laugh, to feel anything at all?
Why don't we talk to our children? Why do we feed them pills instead?
My life was all of these questions. For the longest time, I did not have the awareness to answer them. It was not until I was 19, when a research doctor so tactfully divided me from my parents and cast me into hell, a place where my mind and body finally said "ENOUGH" and sent my brain into acute Clonazepam, Pregabalin, and Sertraline withdrawal.
Benzo withdrawal alone is rated as being more painful than coming off of heroin, and it lasts much much longer. Complicated by the mechanisms of other compounds, it only gets worse. I lived like that for over three years, if you can call that living.
Tens of thousands of people that are given these prescriptions either kill themselves or die from seizures every year. Benzos alone make up about 30% of all drug overdoses in this country, and are involved with roughly half of all opioid related deaths. Upon this gut-wrenching revelation, that I was entering withdrawal, I learned what my chances were. I knew it was very likely that I would die.
Somehow, I survived. I survived because I chose to, because in the rare moments of clarity I was capable of educating myself, because I refused to be a statistic. It made me strong.
I carry around this massive secret. Nobody knows who I am.
When I rarely do get close to someone I find that I'm asked. "What was it like?" That's a question I'm incapable of answering. To know, you must travel that road yourself.

I can't find anyone else who's survived this. I am alone.

[Anonymous No.10171767]

>>10171583
They are, coward. You're either a man or a boy, no middle ground

[Anonymous No.10171775]

>>10169875
I know a wealthy software guy who goes to brazil and murders drug addicts for fun.

[Anonymous No.10171777]

I'm actually kind of astounded that Jay-Z managed to get his groove back. I thought he was washed up.

[Anonymous No.10172072]

My partner is out there dancing and here am I, on freaking /lit/. I don't have friends so no dancing for me, I guess. yee

[Anonymous No.10172089]

>>10171775

You have got to be joking.

[Anonymous No.10172102]

>>10163896
>not hating women who aren't subservient
Literal cuck.

[Anonymous No.10172212]

Down, down you go
To your final rest I know
My adversary proud and true
Dropping fast out of the sky blue
To be remembered not detested
The friend I never met

Down to that fiery grave below
Back to the creator you'll show
For better or worse stuck I am
Cold plastic inside my hand.

[Anonymous No.10172230]

there are no philosophical problems only psychological problems
this is proven by the fact that if a philosophical problem needs to be hindering your ataraxia as a precondition for its existence or else it isn't considered a problem in the first place


everything is absurd and all utterances are just brute phenomenology including this sentence

i wish i had the courage to kill myself

[Anonymous No.10172237]

>>10170238
traps are wonderful, they bring sunshine to people's lives. you should really kill the weatherman, he's why it rains.

[Anonymous No.10172261]

>>10170238

So many errors. Have you ever had a fantasy about taking an English grammar course?

["Anonymous" No.10172264]

I just can't make the light headaches I get during meditation go away. It makes me afraid I might fuck my brain up.

[Anonymous No.10172279]

>>10172264
why do you meditate?

[Anonymous No.10172298]

>>10167946
Agreed.
>there is no commandment for me to give myself to the other. And when there's no commandment I can give myself freely, spontaneously
But if we follow the interdependence of "myself" and "yourself" then I already belong to you and you already belong to me. Freely and spontaneously become dependent and perpetual.
>So what you can do is trust yourself, because nobody can do it in your place
What now intrigues me is the capacity of directing and changing that "self", which I identify as the instinct.
>>10169352
>If the net effect of the act on someone else's life is the same
Will it be the same? Is it the same occupying an empty seat because you saw it empty as using a seat because you were given one? The effect is definitely more powerful on both the doer and the receiver of compassion when the act is made explicit.

I didn't leave my house today, so my post is rather short. Watching other people makes me enter a contemplative stance that I can't enter while isolated.

["Anonymous" No.10172312]

>>10172279
Because Buddhism has already shreded everything I thought (and didn't know I thought) true and replaced it with something much better. And I don't even think I've gotten any proper, first-person insight yet. It already looks like a wonderful peak from here where I've just barely started to climb.

Well, there's a lot more, but that's the gist of it.

[Anonymous No.10172320]

>>10172312
which set of meditation instructions do you practice?

["Anonymous" No.10172329]

>>10172298
>which I identify as the instinct.
That's an interesting proposition. Just today on the train I came to the question of whether instinct -biological instinct, that is- could be thought as a form of knowledge or information.

But if by instinct I call that which is my intuition, what I feel is evident, in a subconscious way, then my instinct is simply my undelying assumptions.

>>10172320
The ones in this book, to the best of my abilities. I really wish I had someone to guide me however.

[Anonymous No.10172355]

>>10172329
>self styled "meditation master"
>doesn't feel a need to give away instructions for free
>lives with his wife and practically disrobed
questionable

["Anonymous" No.10172357]

>>10172355
Do you have any alternate suggestions?

[Anonymous No.10172361]

>>10172357
i wouldn't have asked what your practice if i did

["Anonymous" No.10172372]

>>10172361
Welp, there goes my hope of you being a secret master.

In the book's defence, however, it's not badly explained and gets to the point. The problem is it might get to the point a bit too fast and much of it feels as if it's a "just do it", when that's kind of the problem to begin with.

["Anonymous" No.10172389]

/pol/ is so weird. It's like they have completely bought into their own narrative and are progressively becoming more sincere about it. They're the one place that claims to be in the known but they voice any kind of looney world views without questioning. That kind of behavior wouldn't last a hundred posts on /a/ without heavy argumentation. It's like they're one step away from /x/.

Also, the jewposting on this board is getting really unbearable.

[Anonymous No.10172402]

>>10172372
for all i know the book is fine; i just find the author somewhat unorthodox, which wouldn't have been a problem if meditation didn't require a degree of trust in the instructions before one reaches the point of seeing the results for themselves. i've been loosely meditating with poor results for a while.

[Anonymous No.10172492]

My Father died on September 30, I miss him a lot.

[Anonymous No.10172532]

>>10172492
My condolences. May he rest in peace.

[Anonymous No.10172790]

Every friend of mine is depressed. They say it's because of their lifestyle, work, etc. I go at this parties and I see desolation. When people are drunk, there's even more desolation. I like to talk to drunk people. I have fun. But then, when I go home, I think there's desolation. Only through creation man can find meaning in life. You are reminded that you are alive, and not just living.

[Anonymous No.10172820]

Writing is the only practice that brings me anything close to a feeling of fulfillment, but at the end of the day, I am only really capable of producing a few dozen pages of affected bitching and complaining, and I've never been able to write any kind of narrative without walking uphill in a snowstorm barefooted both ways. Anytime I try to produce something worthwhile or halfway presentable, I find myself hopelessly out of my depth. I am only a "writer" insofar that I am a directionless rambler with an average vocabulary who is capable of rambling in a way that makes people who don't read say shit like "wow, this is really good, you should write a book." I can hardly even shit out a short story. I spend a lot of time writing because regardless of my total fucking ineptitude it really does bring me incomparable satisfaction, and in all that time I spend writing I have tried every fucking trick in the book, but I still can't slap 7,500 words together without producing a clunky and forced fucking mess. When that happens, I shit out about 1,000 words of somewhat satisfactory writing with halfway adequate composition that only serves to express a shallow and sophomoric dissatisfaction with my general situation. I wish I didn't get so much enjoyment from it and that I could move on to some other expressive hobby, because writing for me has always been a crushing cycle of absolute gratification, overpowering regret, and an unparalleled felling of failure, over and over, and I am never left with anything to show for my subjection to that fucking cycle.

[Anonymous No.10172829]

>>10172820
>felling of failure

["Anonymous" No.10172953]

Yet another Sabbath when the alarm must hammer me out of slumber and out of the promises of release. This time it wil be different -- is what I say, but I quickly remember that can't be. It's hard being in such a relationship with yourself.

Ah, the redheaded goddess of love. I want to take possession of her in the least seductive ways.