/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.10094352]

Write what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.10094355]

I don't know.

[Anonymous No.10094361]

My brother keeps trying to push this idea that the electricity our bodies use is what the soul is. I want to punch him. You don't need to try to dig a deeper spiritual meaning into everything you pseudo-nihilist retard, I give this fucker a ten page booklet and demand he read it and it's just too much for his lazy ass, I'll pay off an imagined debt he falsely believes I owe but only if he finishes ten god damn pages. Ten pages. Motherfucker.

[Anonymous No.10094377]

We hope that we will change and become better one day but it never comes. Accept the mediocrity or to suffocate on bitterness. That is the dilemma.

[Anonymous No.10094386]

im bored of life, i want something to change but at same time i wish that things stay the same. I wanna escape, but im afraid. I dream of getting fired from my job as much i wish for to stay.

[Anonymous No.10094396]

I cut out contact and filtered a person's phone number because I couldn't take any more talk about mental health, drugs, and random obsessions. Now I made the mistake of checking the filtered messages folder. She's threatening to shout through my mailbox "again" (I've been away) and lecture about manners in the stairway. Lmao wonder what my neighbours make of this.

[Anonymous No.10094401]

>>10094352
that pic's pretty cool, it's a shame the xkcd guy kind of ruins it

[Anonymous No.10094402]

>>10094396
>She's threatening to shout through my mailbox "again"
that's kind of cute :3

[Anonymous No.10094404]

>>10094401
XKCD don't have the monopoly on stick figures mate

[Anonymous No.10094416]

>>10094402

Were she attractive it would boost my narcissistic tendencies, yes. But now it's only a nuisance.

[Anonymous No.10094418]

>>10094352
this image doesn't work for the catalog

[Anonymous No.10094433]

>>10094418
and what does that teach you about life?

[Anonymous No.10094445]

>>10094418
Can't have everything

[Anonymous No.10094449]

>>10094433
dicks taste good?

[Anonymous No.10094451]

>>10094352

I'm going to drive to maine from the western united states so I can write in silent peace and if I have to get a job that maybe I won't hate.

Am I being stupid?

[Anonymous No.10094454]

>>10094352
i started writing a screenplay a few weeks ago and it was progressing well but last night i came up with some really good ways to change it up which would significantly alter the story (for the better). i was too tired to write though so i went to bed and planned on writing everything down today but i've forgotten nearly all of it and now i want to stop living.

[Anonymous No.10094464]

Dos /lit/ like moot?

[Anonymous No.10094467]

>tfw started browsing 4chins in 2010
>despite being considered a newfag, I have been here for half of its lifetime

[Anonymous No.10094473]

>>10094467
the newfaggotry was on your heart all along :3

[Anonymous No.10094481]

>>10094361
>letting your idiot brother extort you

>>10094451
Silent peace exists much closer to you, I guarentee it

>>10094454
Good ideas tend to come back, just keep working on it

[Anonymous No.10094492]

Last night I had a drunken conversation with a banker.
What he said shocked me, made me realize what people are really doing with the world and the things we've been given. He knew his life was vapid and hedonistic. He just didn't care. He had no search for meaning, he had no drive to try and make something of this life past hedonism.
Worst part is, this guy was religious, in the most insulting way possible. A Protestant, and a sola fide Protestant at that, he told me he didn't care what he did because he knew that if he said he believed in Jesus he would go to heaven. I don't know how to respond. It's almost a perversion of not only Jesus' work and the canon of thinkers in the Christian tradition, but a perversion of even Luther and Calvin's theology as well.
I don't know if the conversation turned me commie, but there's something wrong with society, on a base level, that's not just systemic; it's cultural. People are satisfied with vapidity, even unto their religion. Perhaps this is always how it was and there's no stopping it. I don't know what to think of this.
Can people really live a life without creation? Not even strictly artistic creation, all creations have the spark of god in them: families, meaningful action, tools. Can man subsist on "bread" alone, in a sense?

[Anonymous No.10094495]

Our lifes may be ephemeral, but 4chan is forever.

[Anonymous No.10094499]

Là ci darem la mano,
Là mi dirai di sì.
Vedi, non è lontano;
Partiam, ben mio, da qui.

(Vorrei e non vorrei,
Mi trema un poco il cor.
Felice, è ver, sarei,
Ma può burlarmi ancor.)

Vieni, mio bel diletto!
(Mi fa pietà Masetto.)

Io cangierò tua sorte.
Presto ... non son più forte.

[Anonymous No.10094501]

>>10094481

Yeah, but I also desire a change and to be far away from my state as possible, all that is here are bad memories and zero friends. I suppose I am probably just making excuses for doing something completely irrational and I probably won't be satisfied as I think I will be. However, I am receiving $25,000 from a dead relative, I figured this was my ticket to get the fuck out of here and into a life on my own as a hopeful novelist.

[Anonymous No.10094515]

>>10094492
>I don't know if the conversation turned me commie
go the traditionalist route instead, is just as hopeless but at least it's more fun and less resentful

[Anonymous No.10094525]

>>10094492

Maybe in his case religion is simply a symptom of his psychology. He has *some* innerlying anxiety about concepts such as meaning or afterlife but he has got them covered very conveniently. Superficial faith is enough for him to carry on.

I'm hedonistic, vapid, and non-religious. I feel a sense of guilt about all three.

[Anonymous No.10094526]

>>10094492
>I don't know how to respond
Try reading the Bible sometime. There are many immediate responses to this, including some from the man himself.
>Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

[Anonymous No.10094536]

>>10094526
I've read the Bible before, I just doubt he has

[Anonymous No.10094542]

>>10094361
>the electricity our bodies use is what the soul is
He thinks ion charge gradients are the soul?

Wut

[Anonymous No.10094547]

>>10094536
Why not educate him? It's really as simple as quoting a verse or a few.

[Anonymous No.10094552]

>>10094492
Damn them all and become an Evolian. That's what awaits you at the end of this road

[Anonymous No.10094553]

I really got stop saving porn and images of cute girls

[Anonymous No.10094555]

>>10094451

[Anonymous No.10094582]

>>10094552
That's what I'm thinking, maybe not diving head on into the "fuck the plebs I'm an aristocrat" memery of Evola, but we HAVE to return to something more. That's why I can't go full commie: they're trying to fight mindless capitalistic hedonism with mindless collectivist materialism

[Anonymous No.10094589]

>>10094481
I see it less as extortion and more of a bribe. I don't want this fucker to atrophy any more than he already has.

>>10094542
Probably misinterpreted some youtube video.

[Anonymous No.10094590]

>>10094582
>>10094552
yep, what do if you like Evola but you are a complete spiritual pleb?

[Anonymous No.10094592]

>>10094555
I can write anywhere but I really need to move out on my own, away from my home state. I remember visiting Maine a few times in my childhood and I loved it. If not Maine, then somewhere else in New England. I have nothing for me here except grandparents.

[Anonymous No.10094603]

>>10094590
Nietzsche
Evola is to some extent a reaction to Nietzsche, I recall some works of his were prefaced with his intention to provide a more profoundly spiritual take on the topics of Nietzsche and Stirner specifically

[Anonymous No.10094621]

>>10094603
i meant it more in the sense that Evola writes for the noble of spirit, so kind of leaves you to the side trenches if you are weak spirited and perfectly aware of it

[Anonymous No.10095368]

Lads I just want to play in a twee pop band and read Dante

[Anonymous No.10095386]

I keep piling up books and I don't know which one to start.
My feet are cold.
Can't fucking set up anki on my phone.
I wish I commited more to learning chinese.

[Anonymous No.10095406]

>>10094361
>The soul is a Harmony of electric sound
If this is the case how can the soul be before the body in the sense of action, thought, and awareness? Can the harmony which emerges from the strum of guitar strings act upon the guitar strings?

Not sure if I got this phaedo argument right

[Anonymous No.10095415]

>>10094464
Not even Moot likes Moot

[Anonymous No.10095731]

I got shitfaced last night and wrote a three page short story, that is mediocre but good for being drunk, and I wish I had the confidence to share it with someone

[Anonymous No.10095746]

>>10095731
sorry for the bad grammar by the way, I'm trying to do homework while browsing 4chan and it's not really working

[Anonymous No.10095747]

>>10095731
Share it with me anon :)

[Anonymous No.10095772]

>>10095747
How would you recommend I do this?

[Anonymous No.10095780]

Yo bitch pussy drip when she wit me
She need dat lube when she wit you
I fuck her rough like a thotty
With you she get a headache too

[Anonymous No.10095832]

>>10095772
put it on pastebin and post the link

[Anonymous No.10095847]

>>10095832
thanks anon, I've been coming to this god awful website for 8 years now and I only recently started browsing this board.
>https://pastebin.com/3kxcZPtm

[Anonymous No.10095872]

>>10094499
cos'è??

[Anonymous No.10095879]

>>10095847
Is it groundbreaking? No. Is it one of the most relateable pieces of fiction I've read in a while because I was literally feeling all of these thing less than 24 hours ago? Yes.
Good work anon. I'd appreciate more shit from you.

[Anonymous No.10095895]

>>10095879
Who said it was fiction, anon :^(

[Anonymous No.10095906]

>>10095895
It wasn't fiction for me last night either anon
I'm also toying around with an idea about parties from the POV of the outsider/the wallflower/the guy who's just there to get drunk. Sure, it's naive and a bit trite, but that's it's beauty imo. You keep doing what you're doing anon, we're all gonna make it.

[Anonymous No.10095912]

People at work keep talking to me because I'm mostly silent and polite but I get so tired when you already see them 9 hours a day and the first thing they do when they see you is recount everything they did when they didn't see you. You can't tell them off without turning the environment tense of hostile.

[Anonymous No.10095927]

>>10095906
I have a steady gf actually. The story was in the point of view of my best friend. But personally, I had a lot of fun with the fly-on-the-wall perspective, so if you have something you'd like to share also I'd love to read it

[Anonymous No.10096049]

>>10095912
Is work school anon? underage b&

[Anonymous No.10096063]

Every day is every day, and they get more even the more I live. Sometimes I catch myself thinking: was this not yesterday? If not, then this was so today. It feels nice, it feels fluffy and comfortable.

Sometimes I think of adventures I've had and the ones I will have. But now I'm here and every day starts in the same place and is a day. I dont even have to try. Just enjoy

[Anonymous No.10096065]

>>10094352
I feel my recent-ish desire to engage with life has left me writhing with a sense of reduced satisfaction because of oppurtunity cost of paths not taken. To cover all bases won't cost me much in money but will cost time, which to me is awfully valuable and finite. How do I know I'm making the best life choices.

[Anonymous No.10096069]

>>10095872
Italian and don't know Mozart and Da Ponte? Signor...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVzKIjd1myE

[Anonymous No.10096071]

I'm getting real tired of chronic sleep deprivation.

[Anonymous No.10096075]

At that moment I got an erection and my penis, acting as an antenna, began picking up the microwaves that caused the crystals in my ear to vibrate at the resonant frequencies. Losing autonomous control of my body, I became a mechanical robot goosestepping in rigid movements into the grocery store.

[Anonymous No.10096076]

>>10096071
I'm getting real thirsty because of this drought.

[Anonymous No.10096085]

>>10096076
Ubnfortunate. We had a drought with severe water shortages about 10 years back, and it wasn't a good time.

Also not a good time: having 200% of one month's annual rainfall over the course of 24hrs.

I have known for a while why they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture, but I forget and it gets me again every single time.

[Anonymous No.10096092]

>>10096071
I'm really gay because of dicks in my ass

[Anonymous No.10096105]

>>10095847
I liked it too, just so you know.

[Anonymous No.10096115]

The keycurves speal the inklorious fasters. No creekcrank berry toilers could upmost asainth to zenith.

[Anonymous No.10096150]

I wish I could form a story. Even just characters would be nice.

[Anonymous No.10096160]

>>10096115
*blocks your braaaaaaaaaps*

[Anonymous No.10096168]

>>10096105
Thank you for reading it anon! Do you have any constructive criticism? Same goes for this anon right here
>>10095879

[Anonymous No.10096171]

>>10095731
>write drunk, edit sober

it's actually pretty sound advice
if anything, being drunk just lets you get over the original inhibition that prevents you putting pen to paper

[Anonymous No.10096176]

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so attached to my parents.

[Anonymous No.10096180]

I'm on track to regain my emotions, and escape this nightmare I've lived for the past few years. Christ, it's been such a painfully long wait - experiencing only insolent frustration or an uncompromising blankness, present and alive in the most superficial sense, castrated at the soul, an exercise in sterility, and so on, emotions like a foreign entity to be channeled, a dull throb in the temple that simply can't get through. And maybe, it's almost over. God I hope so.

[Anonymous No.10096182]

>>10096171
Honestly I typed it up because I was feeling empathetic to my friend who was messaging me while at a party, I like to write, and I knew it would make my drunk gf horny. Have you ever taken psychedelics? I decided to take a note from Huxley and try writing while on acid, and I made my first free verse poem that way

[Anonymous No.10096246]

>>10094377
ouch man I didn't need that

[Anonymous No.10096594]

I really want this relationship to work it out. I really like this person, it makes me feel nervous like if I were a 12 years old kid all over again.I will be good with this. I'm not going to screwed it up. I'm going to give my best.

[Anonymous No.10096604]

>>10096594
I wish man
I've pretty much resigned myself to... maybe not dying alone, but to at least not being able to actively start a relationship like that

[Anonymous No.10096609]

>>10096176
That line of thought brought me to a suicide attempt
I do not recommend that you follow it

[Anonymous No.10096645]

everything is worthless in my reality especially me
cuz im the center of the universe, the world waiting patiently for the arrival of my hearse
nothing ever changes because time doesn't exist
the moment i was born, simultaneously everything ends
people like to act like they know anything
theoretical physicists, they all know more than me,
but in the end humanity knows improbably anything
a vast expanse of nothing essentially all that existence is
the vaster it becomes the more pointless it is
and in a straight line i will move until i die again
re-living every torture and euphoria relentlessy, iridescently
every time i hate and love my mind will radiate incessently
i hate myself, it's the way i was born, it's the reason we're made for
understanding pain is pleasure, love can't exist when we're "dead"
depressing irrelevance represents only loneliness instead
and so life is irrelevant, we'll never stop being promiscuous;
eternally damned to feel loneliness through death

the greatest pains in life bleed and decimate
and so, through gore, derive masochism endlessly
the more random it seems, the more relevant
with every moment passed, we understand what hell is;
not creation or sin, contemplation or filth
only a blank eternal everlasting worthless kiln
we don't burn only after, we're scorched eternal
lost, neutral, we simply fear the upcoming portal

inter-dimensional travel, not so far away
when suicide speaks filthy tongues, every single fucking day

[Anonymous No.10096749]

>>10095847
Is the capitalization of Him and Her a stylistic choice or drunk accidents?

If the prior, that could be a bit interesting. I feel there may be a space between normal publishing standards and House of Leaves memery unfulfilled.

[Anonymous No.10096980]

Is it really so terrible to have high standards for other people if you also hold yourself to them? The trouble, I feel, is hypocrisy, which I'm trying to avoid. I have no problem asking saintly behavior from others when I strive for it myself.

[Anonymous No.10097007]

>>10096980
You'll know why you can't live up to your ideals if you don't but you can't know why someone else failed to live up to your standards.

[Anonymous No.10097046]

I have a 3 inch dick and my dad used to sexually abuse me until I was 17 and moved to another state. On the positive side, my fiction writing uni course liked my goofy ass sci fi romance story. I liked writing the romance way more than the action, but there you go.

[Anonymous No.10097098]

The age of consent should be raised to the age of 45. Sex must be hyperregulated and, ultimately, exterminated

[Anonymous No.10097123]

I've been wandering if Pynchon knew about Nushu when he was writing TCOL49

[Anonymous No.10097142]

I keep waking up too early and get anxious about how long the day is going to be. The library doesn't open for two and a half hours. I've already exercised. I haven't got any money. I'll probably walk and read for a few hours and by 4pm I'll be exhausted as fuck, depressed, hoping to fall asleep.

[Anonymous No.10097215]

I'm a man of many mistakes yet very few regrets. One of those few regrets was ever leaving you. Even if it was the best decision I could've made at the time. You were everything to me. And I gave it away because I hated myself. Not because of anything you did, or said. I just always hated myself. I preferred my delusional dreamworld over any sort of functional reality that could've been established between the two of us. Things made sense there, but I never realized they would've down here too. In a different way though. In a way that mattered to me more than I had ever admitted to myself.

You spend so much time in your head that it becomes easy to push yourself over. To quiet the starving aspirations of an abandoned naivety. The innocence that drove you beyond the imaginary doubts of the hushed voices in your head. What I could've had with you could've been real. Beyond any politics. Beyond any anarchistic inhibitions festering into nihilistic tumors. Beyond any doubt in my mind. You were my perfect fit, and, if I had ever stepped foot to ground, I was yours. The shadow of myself unable to part with whom he belonged too now haunting my nightmares every night I awake missing you.

I took the problems I had in my past and in my childhood, the problems out of my control, and told myself that was the reason it was okay to drink. To get high. To play videogames, or to endlessly scroll through everyone's opinions I once spent four years eagerly awaiting to escape from. Because it was too hard. Because I knew I was a good person. Someone who would do great, who would take care of people. Doing my best to improve the state of our ambitious world--So why did I have to grind a 9-5 to show the world I love it? Why did the green paper say my love better than my brain and muscles; my mind and my heart -my being? It wasn't fair, and I was going to stand my ground and be myself. "Be my-fucking-self". Unbelievable. I was such a fucking child I can't stand it.

Death seems inviting when you lie back-to-back and share each other's thoughts. The patience. The peace. The solitude and thoughtlessness. It all became apart of my being. It was and is zen. I wanted nothing but it. My mind was water and my throat thirsted for what could never be physically satiated. I was too dumb to realize I longed for a metaphor. An object of symbolism, something that wasn't real. My mind was still, but my body was not ready to be still. It was dying of hunger and thirst--to the extent of believing in thoughts to falsely satisfy a carnal, physical craving. A desire twined from my mind and nerves sparking cells strung together by coils of molecular acids. Something that is more me than me but never exists to me. My desire. My desire to love, and to live, outwardly. To suffer in the hands of great friends and family, and between the great memories, good or bad, made with them.--

>I spilled over

[Anonymous No.10097219]

>>10097215

The stars reflected in your eyes just before our first kiss were not a thought. They were real things around me that meant more to me than any hands-free mental ejaculation. As if conventional jerking off wasn't lazy enough. To believe I was so entitled that I left you to continue to do it. To cut you loose before I drug you down. Because no matter how much I loved you, and believed your every word. I knew that I wasn't going to change. I was still too afraid.

[Anonymous No.10097264]

I need to stop buying books. It feels really good in the moment, but when I get home and read them, they turn to mush in my head. Even if I stop and go over a sentence several times, it never pierces my mental fog or sticks in any way. The best analogy I can give is that it's like a faded t-shirt - I get the idea, but all vibrancy and life is gone, and the activity is useless. Fuck, I don't even remember what it's like to just sit down and enjoy a book. It's been that long.

[Anonymous No.10097535]

>>10097142
Are you a homeless mate?

[Anonymous No.10097668]

I think freedom of religion is a massive lie. The only way it's sustainable is if the majority of the population keeps their religion totally private, and thus grants everyone the space to enjoy their religion in an interior way without disturbance from others. However, at least when it comes to Christianity, there's an undeniable public element to it. Christians are called to spread the Gospel, to proselytize and convert, and to prevent sin in Christ's name. This requires that the religion have a public dimension, a dimension that inescapably results in the religion imposing itself upon the civil sphere. This doesn't even begin to get into a powerful Church like Catholicism or Orthodoxy having authority and freedom of action in a civil state. And Islam is even more extreme.

So, near as I see it, freedom of religion requires that religious adherents be less than devout. And if you get a particularly devout believer, they're going to invariably bump up against the limits on action imposed on believers by permitting free exercise of religion--by not privileging one religion over others.

[Anonymous No.10097686]

>>10094377
I already changed but it was too late

["Anonymous" No.10097687]

The public is a feature of the human organism -- public behavior is learned by mimesis in the same way Chomsky describes the instinctual learning of language by children. As such one could abstract (but never complete) a Generative Morality, from which all possible public human behaviors spring -- this is what Jung was aiming at. Private property, thanks to the internet, has almost completely destroyed the public by exploiting the honne-tatemae dichotomy; any public activity has become the display of private property and ownership. What this means for our generation is that we are to the public what feral children are to language; we are more and more like Tiqqun's Young-Girl, defined by negativity, Nobody in the first sense, and not the higher third sense which is nullity. What this results is people that are comparatively worse than animals.

It's not so wrong to call this age the Kali Yuga, then. There is no room for a State that is anything but a mobster gang. But! the Dharma cannot be lost forever -- by its essence it is always at work, and where the conditions for language or the public once didn't exist then came to exist, they can happen again, and the potentiality still exists in humans as a species. Furthermore, the public is not completely destroyed; the realm of the role persist in that which by its nullity is linked to the whole of perceived humanity: art. The artist being the one in whom the Apollonian instinct to shed light is so strong that he must turn to that which has no self, no repression and only exists in the eye of the beholder. This can account for why depiction is an eventuality in all religion, which is born from the apprehension of the whole, which is indepictable -- humans cannot usually have a sense of the non-self of reality due to the public, but in art the public is embodied and bounded by the public non-self of art. This is to say that any apprehension of the whole isn't a true one without sign -- the ineffable not only can't be stated, it can't not be stated. Therefore to turn to indiscriminate silence is a mistake and a lesser achievement; truly, private enlightenment -- to not be capable of modulating It to the situation is to not really have apprehended it. It holds then that the only good things in man are the artificial ones, per Xunzi. Man is both Artifex and Artificium -- an archer that shoots his self to reach his self, that is what is there after disregarding externals -- the Geist, non-mediation.

Is there anything I've forgotten to say? Well, I must still work on the vocabulary. I don't want the vocabulary to be so referential.

[Anonymous No.10097690]

I AM NOT A THREAT TO MYSELF OR OTHERS

[Anonymous No.10097695]

Why is everyone so sad?

["Anonymous" No.10097700]

>>10097668
Yup. And it's also the case in non-Abrahamic religions. Vashnavism and Confucianism are extremely social, and Buddhist priests are supposed to talk about Buddhism and converse people whenever they have the chance.

Freedom of religion oughta be a myth propagated by the Aeternal Anglo.

>>10097695
I'm not.

[Anonymous No.10097702]

reading the book of proverbs I came upon the passage which reads: a hope deferred makes the heart sick.

and I felt, at once, as if something was speaking to me. This seldom happens to me when I read the bible. In fact, I only got interested in the Bible and in Christianity because it made me feel so little. Something so neutral, I thought to myself, must be very special. Irrespective of my opinions, going back to the passage, it rang true to me because I feel as if I have been fixed on a single desire for a long time. The desire is for companionship, intimacy, and love.

I have gone through Europe and through where I live and I have not found it, even a single time, even in the slightest sense, with anybody.

In vulgar terms you could express it as "tfw no gf." But it has really taken a hold of me, for years, and led to...

Anyway, it's a deep spring of despair for me. I feel like all sins are drugs, and despair is one that I'm addicted to the hardest. Thinking certain thoughts, seeing certain things, when I am in the wrong mood, makes me almost tangibly feel a thick cloud of warm velvety despair flowing through my heart like a drop of indigo die dropped in clear water. It almost feels like how I've heard people describe certain drugs. That's why I call it an addiction.

I don't say that to be maudlin. It's really the best way of describing how I feel. How long have I spent thinking and desiring. And in the meantime, as the proverb goes, my heart has gotten sick. I have ceased to be warm and I have started to burn.

For a long time, I have been burning. I feel I can say that I truly understand the orthodox conception of the last judgment, when God floods the world with his fire, and the holy feel it as light and love, and sinners feel it as an unendurable flame. So grievously does innocent joy effect me.

Now I've actually been free of that awful tendency recently. But all the same, the thought of spending time with some lady... none in particular, really some in the most general sense...

Yet just the same I have been given long divine moments of peace and joy. Of course it's better to think of that. But all this hatred and misdeed arose from a simple desire, one I saw fulfilled in my friends and countrymen, that is to feel a great love for someone, unbidden, and to feel that love returned, and to express that love intimately. I have reached a point, or a point has reached me, where I feel almost as if I can go without licentious desire altogether.

It's a queer thing, but it's how I really feel. Now I did not obtain this freedom by self-discipline, or even any big intention. It seemed to fall on me like a blanket. In fact, for a while, I was concerned, because the sensation of orgasm had almost entirely lost its appeal.

There are moments when I am consumed with hatred. Because I feel... I could have experienced a great feeling of pleasure, but because it was somehow deferred, for so long, perhaps my body has decided that I am a failure

[Anonymous No.10097714]

I don't understand you. Or maybe I do, and it's not what I want. Neither tired nor hopeful, I nonetheless wait.

[Anonymous No.10097715]

>>10097702
... and condemned me with insensibility, or even given me insensibility as a kind of mercy.

So mere envy enrages me, envy for something I feel I would no longer be able to enjoy, even if I could.

In other ways I'm afraid my capacities have all gone dull.

I was on twitter and I found a very nice lady, a kind of lady that I thought that I would never see. She was the kind of woman that I thought all women were like when I was younger and more naive. Time obliterated that dream and I tore it into pieces and locked the door. Because it gave me no end of trouble.

And then to find this girl, this girl who behaves in accordance with that ancient dream... well, it caused me a grievous sort of unhappiness. And like I have said, it felt like despair was flooding from my heart out through my chest and into my extremities and I felt absolutely dazed and filled with it.

And it was sad for me when I read that the Christians do not believe that there shall be the love between man and wife in heaven. It will all be a purer love, a kind of fraternal love.

Lately I have been tracking, or I have been wondering about something that I am afraid is a kind of evil, cosmopolitan tendency, the tendency to get lost in the clamor of the world and to fall in love with your own chains. I wonder if this big dream of love, which for so long has been the horizon of my desires, is really just falling in love with the grime of creation, with the patina, with the rust, like some disgusting decadent person. Someone intelligent enough to study the various forms of mold that form on the rocks, the fungus budding in the filth, but not intelligent or courageous enough to raise his head and look at the morning sunrise.

I shouldn't have even started thinking about it, I knew it would just bum me out.

[Anonymous No.10097717]

>>10097690
Remember anon, in order to detain you they have to establish "danger to yourself and others" as based upon an OVERT ACT or THREAT. Know your rights, please be safe, and I'm hoping you stay out of the hospital.

[Anonymous No.10097725]

>>10097215
I'm sorry, anon :(

[Anonymous No.10097728]

>>10097046
I can't imagine that suffering. It's very good that you're still truckin', anon.

[Anonymous No.10097732]

>>10096171
You should be able to get over it on your own. If you only write when you're drunk, you'll just end up only being able to write when you're drunk, i.e: impaired

[Anonymous No.10097733]

>>10096150
Start as simple as possible, you might surprise yourself.

[Anonymous No.10097736]

>>10096063
I'm glad you're so happy, anon!
>>10095847
nigga this is better than almost everything in the crit threads.

[Anonymous No.10097882]

>>10094386
>i don't want to change i just want things to change

you are a narcissist. read the blog thelastpsychiatrist for two months. if that doesn't help, kill yourself

[Anonymous No.10097891]

>>10094481
>not going to midwest and buying property innawoods

[Anonymous No.10097895]

>>10097715
>And it was sad for me when I read that the Christians do not believe that there shall be the love between man and wife in heaven. It will all be a purer love, a kind of fraternal love.
It isn't really talked about in the Bible at all, I think, apart from Jesus saying there's no marriage in heaven.. which is pretty open to interpretation, if you ask me.

[Anonymous No.10097901]

I want nothing but a girl to love, a girl to take my sexual sadism out on, and 1000 acres of fertile land with game and no neighbors.

[Anonymous No.10097906]

>>10097695
Testosterone deficiencies.
>>>/d/7624320 is filled with prime examples.

>>10095847
N O R M I E
but it's pretty good, I like the autistic dehumanization of people down to just what they're wearing- I wasn't even aware I did that until right now.

>>10094553
Why?

[Anonymous No.10097909]

>>10097717
Nobody died at Sandy Hook

[Anonymous No.10097945]

Sex and Character is way smarter and more absurd than what I expected. I was waiting for some vitriolic stuff but instead W is hilariously consistent in going to conclusions that many readers must feel are contradictory.

[Anonymous No.10097981]

>>10097906
>Why?
Distraction from starting actual relationships and doing anything with my life.

[Anonymous No.10097986]

>>10094352
I'm not sure if I'm sane or not. I don't know what sanity is.

My mom thinks that drugs screwed up my life, she's right. That life that she associates with 'me' is no longer a possibility. It died about ten years ago when, while tripping on acid, I looked into the mirror and saw an odd creature with a weird face. An emotion arose within me, mystique, curiosity, sadness.. One which has planted itself within heart and feeds mind with a stream of doubt and openness, and has felt more real than love.

It is a whisper from a daemon saying 'your existence is more mysterious than you recognize it to be. Why do you even exist at all in this infinite universe? What is that unchanging light which at one moment shines on your reflection and another illuminates the face of this weird creature, the one behind even perception?'

The essence of attachment is suffering say the Buddhists, dukkha. It causes mom to suffer as she holds the corpse of the son whose timeline I don't share.

I can see why she feels like I committed such violence. The drugs revealed too much too quickly. My change was so sudden. I embraced death fully expecting to either be rejected by the world or find some newfound harmony, and I'm still here. I'm either deeply enlightened or hopelessly insane. Don't we believe in the objects of our dream worlds? Don't we believe in the seriousness of our actions? Is there a way of escaping the dream.. Or only this..

I am a divine spark trapped in a material cell on the scale of that dragon the demiurge.

I am one bounded, changing, mechanical state of ignorance and attachment of the Buddhists

I am a spirit trapped in a body which is the plaything of the gods and daemons..

All I have is awareness. All I can possibly do is pay attention and see how things are, it seems.. Like. This is my only escape, to know. I guess.

[Anonymous No.10098300]

I can't finish prose. I've been working on short stories for years, and there's only one I've finished all the way through. I start writing, finish usually about 3/4 of the story, then it's either too late and I'm tired or I have responsibilities I have to tend to. The next day it's gone. I read it over and over again and try to find the same voice and structure to finish it up, but I can't, it's not consistent.
I've made lots of progress in my writing, I noticed, others have noticed, but I just can't finish what I begin.

I consider poetry a side-activity and I'll have one published in a journal in November. I've always wanted to work with prose. It feels like I've compromised and it's eating me up.
It's even worse when I think about why I wrote those poems in the first place: They could be finished in a day. That's it. My "art." Summed up as "Did not take long to finish".

[Anonymous No.10098319]

>>10094352
Nothing, I'm brain dead.

[Anonymous No.10098345]

>>10097986
You are not trapped nor imprisoned within your body, for no plant considers itself trapped by it's roots; they live accordingly.

[Anonymous No.10098349]

Sneed, he feeds and seeds.

Chuck, he... he also feeds and seeds.

[Anonymous No.10098355]

>>10094352
/lit/ is shit
it has so much potential to be the next big thing happening to the written word
but faggot mods fail to see this
over and over

[Anonymous No.10098363]

>>10098355
copy and paste
stream of consciousness
zeitgeist
hardcore porn
cut up
hyperviolence
in media res
degeneracy

[Anonymous No.10098369]

I used to want to be a writer, and I still sort of do. I used to take creative writing classes in a school of the arts in high school, but in 10th grade I got really depressed and dropped out of that school and did homeschool. I used to write stories all the time, but I haven't since. Every time I try and start writing I have a mini panic attack and it's hard to breathe and I start shaking like I'm freezing. I love reading, I love writing, I love the art of it all. It's just become really hard for me to do it.

I tried writing a new story today, one I've had going on in my head for a while. It took an hour and a half to write the first page and it's really bad. Every time I try and write or I think about it I feel really drained and tired

[Anonymous No.10098374]

>>10098369
you should try masturbation desu

[Anonymous No.10098427]

I so much despise all those articles about celebrities mental health problems. God FUCKING damn, they make me wanna puke. Those bitches who never worked a day in their lives, earning thousands of dollars an hour just because they have pretty faces, just because their fucking genes twisted in a better angle. I am supposed to feel sorry for those cunts surrounded by money, luxury and beauty everywhere they go? Fuck them, where is the article about 29 yeard old robin from milwaukee who never experienced a romantic moment with opossite sex, because she looks like a sister of fucking elephant man about her struggle of working in a shitty job in a shitty town and helping her bead-pinned rotting while still living mother? Of course nobody gives a fuck, no one will never hear about her struggle. Fuck cara delevinge man

[Anonymous No.10098430]

I've wasted my life and only exciting thing, or a thing that makes me feel hopeful, is the thought of my eventual suicide.

Might just walk into forest butt naked come winter and freeze in the -40 celsius weather.

[Anonymous No.10098671]

I am currently having to endure perhaps the most pretentious conversation I have ever heard in my life between two disgusting STEMfriends.
How can we find meaning in this stupid world?

[Anonymous No.10098735]

>>10098671
watch rick & morty

[Anonymous No.10098758]

>>10097882
think you clearly missunderstood me. I highly doubt im a narcissist, after all, im a infp.. im bored of life, i can change, i try all the time, but its not easy when the world wants you to be "A" when you clearly is "B". Im tierd of it. Im tierd of everything.

[Anonymous No.10098771]

>>10094352
This might be too politically motivated for /lit/ but I'm the young end of millennials and I don't think that term really describes us well. I think we should be the "label generation". This might be something every group goes through but we're never really considered as anything more complex than "X group". We're either racists or communists or nazies or SJW. Each individual is reduced to whichever facet needs to be praised/ridiculed at the present. Not only that but we've moved from discriminating against people for things they don't have control of (skin color, nationality, gender) to things they have no control over which is much more insidious. It breeds sameness and punishes alternative ideals.
Not that social pariahs based on ideas are new but it's just hit me pretty hard as of late. I can't be "anon", I have to be a part of a much larger group with only 1 goal.

[Anonymous No.10098985]

>>10097733
Even then what to write about? I can't think of anything.

["Anonymous" No.10099033]

>>10098771
The generation classification is stupid and it falls away the moment you actually look at what happened in each time period. Take the '90s, which are taken for this garish teenager MTV era, when there's a whole part of them that is completely opposed to that and doesn't fully come on stage until the early '00s. Cultural development doesn't happen in a straight line of moments but is gradual and a convergence of many elements as understood and enacted by different individuals. And don't even get me started on impermanence, which wrecks singleminded historical analyses even further.

[Anonymous No.10099076]

>outside
>whistling nicely
>whistling a real song
>some guy hears me
>starts whistling single warbling notes with no purpose as loud as he can
>ruins my song

[Anonymous No.10099080]

>>10098985
sex

[Anonymous No.10099323]

Hey OP. Rationality is bullshit. There's no reason for anything. The trap is in trying to justify your existence, your actions. The key is to act without reason. There you will find liberation. Nobody knows what they are doing and why, they got a vague idea why, but they are moved by the universal mind which lashes out at and fills the void. The void births us all, out of chaos we arise! Remember that justice and reason are jokes and you are ready. Don't fall into the delusion of a purpose or its search. Be, exist, abide. Awareness. Will. You are not accountable to this reality and this reality is not accountable to you. Nothing is accounted for. It just is, incomprehensibly manifest, nonsensical madness. The desire for escape imprisons you, the wanting holds you back, for you manifest wanting… like begets like. It is done, your work is done, there is no more to do, stop grasping, the universe is more wise than you. Do not hesitate to flow with it, to rise with it, to die with it. You have but one purpose; to be. You will always be. Beyond that in the noise of existence, the cascade of impressions, is just a shadow of your true self which is always unseen. Do not be mistaken in thinking this is it. You are experiencing but are you the experienced as well? Why are you so agitated? Delusion. What is there to be understood? Is not your understanding perfect when you have not spoken a word, when you have not tried to grasp? Concentrate, focus, imagine; you've been doing it all along, it's time to entrain your mind to a new experience, maybe your restlessness will go away. Doesn't this life feel like such a distraction? Your body, always there, always occupying your mind, interrupting you, forcing itself on you. Don't let it win. Withdraw from it, take your mind away from your body, put it elsewhere. Not enough? Take yourself out of your mind then too. It has run its course hasn't it? So tiring yes? There's a lot of thoughts you can borrow. You could be me for a day if you wanted. Nobody would notice. If you don't want to fall back into ignorance though, take with you this one truth of awareness of awareness and of will. Keep it alive through all transitions, don't lose it again, and you won't stagnate so easily again. It is timeless and perennial. Rest well – in infinite motion.

[Anonymous No.10099358]

It's been almost 6 years since I realized I no longer believed in god or religion. But I've been depressed ever since, because now I know life has no purpose. We have no reason to be here, and we have to find ourselves our reason to live. But I still haven't find mine.

[Anonymous No.10099484]

>>10099323
Man can't just "exist". Not because of his superiority, but because he has a conscience. Man can't ignore, even if he wants to

[Anonymous No.10099498]

>>10094352
Characters or faces

[Anonymous No.10099512]

A boy stands on the precipice of the pool. Looking down into the depths. "Its not that deep" he tells himself. "What if I fail to swim" another voice interrupts?." What if someone were to drown me?" "What if it really is deeper than I think?". "Can I even swim that good?". Petrified in fear he stands silently. "You are such a coward"

[Anonymous No.10099664]

>>10097715
it is understandable that companionship is desirable, that loneliness is undesirable. That to share life with someone, to be interested and caring of theirs, and them interested and caring of yours, can be good. And well, via family, does appear to be a celebrated historical staple.

[Anonymous No.10099676]

[Anonymous No.10099926]

>>10097986
The ultimate esoteric truth is that you're just a regular fella like me.

[Anonymous No.10099932]

>>10098369
Holey moley, that sounds awful anon. Are there any traumatic experiences associated with writing in your experience?

Maybe try writing on paper, or if you usually use paper, then on your computer. Or even try "speaking" a story, and then transcribing it afterwards. Anything to free that creative impulse from whatever fear is holding it back.

[Anonymous No.10099935]

>>10099676
:3

[Anonymous No.10099938]

>>10098430
Try something else before that, anon. Life doesn't have to be suffering. What's wrong?

[Anonymous No.10099943]

>>10099323
stop smoking weed

[Anonymous No.10099953]

>>10099358
I don't understand how the idea that we have to find our own purpose somehow invalidates religion or God's existence.

I mean, suppose you eventually find something that makes you happy. Why can't we say that that was what God always intended us to find, what we were made for?

I'm not trying to be argumentative, I genuinely don't understand.

[Anonymous No.10099966]

Fuck me? Fuck you, fuck this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job! Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from! Fuck the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gekko wannabe motherfuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for FUCKING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Adelphia! Worldcom!

[Anonymous No.10100009]

I'm afraid that I have perhaps fallen to the dullness of mediocrity and routine. I've grown insensitive and cynic of even my life.
The only thing that keeps me going is the primitive instinct of keep breathing and feeding myself.

But there is an image that lingers in my mind, such idea of what monster will I would become the moment I drop the last remain of "humanity" that I hold... and it terrifies me that such thing would make me transcend to the best "me" that I could ever possibly be.

I hate the idea of being the result of the sick joke that this universe is, am I even free?

[Anonymous No.10100016]

>>10099953
What difference is if there is or isn't a god looking after you?
Is it relevant?

I think not.

[Anonymous No.10100026]

>>10099966
Congrats, your world is a bunch of shabby stereotypes that fall apart the minute you talk to someone for longer than 30 seconds.

[Anonymous No.10100036]

>>10094352
I went on a date with a model who works for Trump and didn't even know she apparently wanted to fuck me. I fell asleep after watching Peep Show and raving about Kierkergaard. She was so beautiful I felt like I was talking to a ghost. She would never touch me but looked so intensely at me with these slanted rabbit eyes.

Did I fuck it?

[Anonymous No.10100058]

>>10100036
You pulled a Levin my dude

Happens to every sensitive chap now and again

[Anonymous No.10100076]

>>10100016
If God exists, reason should impel you to live your life in accordance with his demands for you

>>10100036
man, you really did. I envy you just the same, however. if you fall into that situation once, I'm sure that it will happen again

[Anonymous No.10100081]

if i had been born the son of some Bradford millionaire, or as a pair of scuttling claws on silent ocean floors, i would feel no need to read what in the end lends nothing of value to my superfluous life

[Anonymous No.10100083]

>>10100081
you've just forgotten the deep joys of reason, and have fallen victim to a mood

[Anonymous No.10100092]

>>10100076
I'm not a tool.

[Anonymous No.10100101]

>>10100092
You're right, you aren't. Unlike a tool, you have a choice.

[Anonymous No.10100127]

>>10100101
Implying there is a all mighty all benevolent being (which I think there is not) that create you and me just to see if we decide to submit to it. Why would it make you suffer for not comply to its wishes?

[Anonymous No.10100176]

>>10099966
calm down, Spike.

[Anonymous No.10100214]

The only thing that makes me want to draw, or write, or compose, is my libido. When I fap, I want to give up everything and die.

[Anonymous No.10100219]

I was into this girl and she was into me, but now I think it's over. We are both RAs and she says she doesn't want to date anyone in ORS (our employer). I feel shitty because I let another person slip through my fingers. She's not even that cute, although she's my type, and now nothing is happening. It's snowing now and I'm kind of drunk and I'm sad. I tried watching neon Genesis to help, but nothing it's not working. I'm sad and I don't think I can talk to anyone.

[Anonymous No.10100244]

>>10100219
>having the confidence to even ask
You've got a leg up on me

[Anonymous No.10100348]

I wanted so badly to get married this year, but the finances fell through and he says he's not ready yet. I love him and know he'll do it when he IS ready but I want it to happen now.

[Anonymous No.10100353]

>>10100348
how old are you?

[Anonymous No.10100356]

>>10100348
Go back to tumblr, /lit/ is for thinking men

[Anonymous No.10100361]

>>10100353
27

>>10100356
oh my bad sorry haha just kidding there's a ye olde titties thread on /aco/i think you'd like

[Anonymous No.10100377]

>>10098671
I live in a house with 2 engineers and I have to deal with that everyday. It's awful.

[Anonymous No.10100385]

>>10100348
Bitch getting married is prohibitively expensive and time consuming. A title isn't worth the self-induced hystrionic emotionality.

[Anonymous No.10100389]

>>10100385
i dont want a wedding i literally just want to go to the courthouse. i dont even want a ring, really. i just want to be his wife.

[Anonymous No.10100412]

>>10100389
You want him to trow away his life just to satisfy your superfluous whim. How typically of a female.

[Anonymous No.10100589]

>>10094352
In the past I would try to write sci-fi stories to show case some cool ship or robot. I would develop the world and characters for the purpose of showing off something that could be accomplished with a simple mechanical design, but I can't draw to save my life. So now after a bought of writer's block I've decided to build a story with special focus on the characters and world. I like what I have so far but now I can't think of any cool mechanical designs and it's bugging me.

[Anonymous No.10100675]

>>10095847
simple language made it readable to me,
and the time changing speeds felt true,
accomplished making me feel things in its shortness,

when He has his fantasy his character's words feel too well-formed, easily gathered, and confident for how his character seems to be.
maybe that's part of the fantasy though which makes sense. i think that actually adds to the fantasy part cause ive had those kind of fantasies and it is typical to create characters (of yourself and the object of the fantasy) that please ya

thanks for posting i hope you keep sharing your work

[Anonymous No.10100814]

I've had some weird, supernatural shit happen to me that not only reaffirms my Christian faith, but has me wondering what I have to do. I wonder what God asks of me. It's possible I'm being called to be a prophet, in the style of the Old Testament prophets. I'm not sure yet.

[Anonymous No.10100882]

>>10100814

describe an event for us, please

[Anonymous No.10100911]

I am unironically wearing a Totoro onesie and this is the happiest I've been all week.

[Anonymous No.10101051]

>>10099926
>you're just regular fella like me

The beauty is that by knowing myself I also know you. But if you mean by 'regular' the 'conventional' view of self then I say sure, but there is so much more to us than the conventional, maybe the potential knowledge of self is unlimited.

>>10098345
I see my finger nails grow but I don't do the growing. A plant could possibly sense it's roots growing but it doesn't do the growing. I see that I'm hungry and see thoughts emerge about food but I didn't make hunger or thought, it arose on its own. If you dwell on the feeling of hunger more ideas of food and how to attain the food with be presented by your mind, it is purely mechanical. Just as each word is seen in this sentence a meaning is presented within your mind, reading is a mechanical process. And if you skim over these words your understanding will be shallow, if you dwell on these words more thoughts will be generated and your understanding will be deeper. Again it's not you which generates thoughts. All the freedom that exists is only present in what to pay attention to, and for how long.

[Anonymous No.10101541]

I've come to realize there will be a day when I kill myself. There's still the slightest of horrors that prevents me but it's been diminishing throughout the years. Today I almost felt none. My body feels like an inconvenient ragdoll sewn onto self like Peter Pan's shadow.

[Anonymous No.10101563]

Failed my studies, now have to own up to my failure WHILE becoming a responsible adult and taking care of myself financially and otherwise. What do I do

[Anonymous No.10101582]

whats the point, anyway?

[Anonymous No.10101596]

>>10100911
I don't think one could be entirely unhappy while wearing a Totoro onesie desu

[Anonymous No.10101598]

>>10094492
You sound like a tool. The guy wants to enjoy his life how he feels he should and according to most you only get one go at it.

[Anonymous No.10101616]

All suicidal and pretend-suicidal posters should be disposed of, desu.
This thread would have a much better atmosphere without all the whinging and whining

[Anonymous No.10101658]

>>10101616
Than nobody would post here, you really think fulfilled and happy people come to this thread. People post here so they for once can be totally honest with themselves, puke out the biterness, anxieties. For once being heard, being anonymous gives them freedom

[Anonymous No.10101693]

>>10101616
I'm not really suicidal like the people with emotional and mental issues are. I would just prefer to not be, I have nothing in my life what keeps me waking at mornings, but I'm too much of a beta to drown myself. I guess I wake up each morning to see if a drunk driver could take me away.

[Anonymous No.10101710]

>>10101658
Well, yes, at least somewhat content people, whyever not? There's a vast middle ground between "fulfilled and happy" and "suicidally miserable". I like this thread but I'm tired of reading all the garbage because it, in turn, makes me feel worse. There's a depressing atmosphere in this thread and I don't think venting in that way helps anyone in any way. They'll just continue puking out their narcissistic desperation tomorrow. I'd rather they wrote an actual diary, at least then nobody else is subjected to reading their wallowing in their own misery.

>>10101693
How is that not a mental issue in itself? I'd say you're not yet beta *enough* to drown yourself, you're too beta to strive to turn your life into something that doesn't make you feel this way.

[Anonymous No.10101730]

How do self-hating Americans reconcile their obsession with banning guns with the fact that the police and military, which they hate even more than guns and which use more guns more frequently than the people whose guns they want to take away, would have to be given a blank check in order to enforce such a ban?

[Anonymous No.10101738]

>>10101730
The people who hold these policy positions generally either don't think that far into it or also want to disarm the police and military.

[Anonymous No.10101774]

>>10101730
I'm not Murrican, but what really gets me is that people don't seem to understand that gun control will only prevent non-criminals from accessing guns. If someone wants to shoot up a concert, they will get a goddamn gun.
Speaking of concerts, I read in passing that the Las Vegas shooters' guns were actually illegally obtained, is this true?
I think Israel is a good example to use in this argument, most terrorist attacks there are stopped by civilians because they're all armed. Of course, it's somewhat different as they've also all gone through military training and so on, but I think gun control just has no good arguments. Murrica is a gun country through and through, it's part of the culture.

[Anonymous No.10102633]

BAN GUN FREE ZONES

[Anonymous No.10102650]

yeah if everybody had nore guns to gun down the gunners gunning down the gunless there wouldn't be any gunless to be gunned down by gunners with guns and guns could happily gun guns

[Anonymous No.10102722]

>>10102650

Guy, gun abolitionists would be even more outraged than Libertarians at the measures the Government would have to take.

[Anonymous No.10102803]

>>10102722
gonna gun them all

[Anonymous No.10102868]

--SOME DUMBFUCK NIGGER STOLE MY HORSE!
--they did not
--THEY DID THEY DID
--the person was arabia
--WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE
--the horse is not yours
--THE HORSE WAS MINE KEK
--it isn't anymore
--BECAUSE THE DUMBNIGGER STOLE IT
--it was never yours
--YES IT WAS
--it was god's
--IT WAS MINE
--i am god
*smites*

[Anonymous No.10102959]

>>10102868
>*smites*
I read it as "smiles" and it was better that way

["Anonymous" No.10103181]

>>10099323
>Rationality is bullshit. There's no reason for anything. The trap is in trying to justify your existence, your actions. The key is to act without reason. There you will find liberation. Nobody knows what they are doing and why, they got a vague idea why, but they are moved by the universal mind which lashes out at and fills the void.

"Lord, when wise nobles or brahmans, householders or contemplatives, having formulated questions, come to the Tathagata and ask him, does this line of reasoning appear to his awareness beforehand — 'If those who approach me ask this, I — thus asked — will answer in this way' — or does the Tathagata come up with the answer on the spot?"

"In that case, prince, I will ask you a counter-question. Answer as you see fit. What do you think: are you skilled in the parts of a chariot?"

"Yes, lord. I am skilled in the parts of a chariot."

"And what do you think: When people come & ask you, 'What is the name of this part of the chariot?' does this line of reasoning appear to your awareness beforehand — 'If those who approach me ask this, I — thus asked — will answer in this way' — or do you come up with the answer on the spot?"

"Lord, I am renowned for being skilled in the parts of a chariot. All the parts of a chariot are well-known to me. I come up with the answer on the spot."

"In the same way, prince, when wise nobles or brahmans, householders or contemplatives, having formulated questions, come to the Tathagata and ask him, he comes up with the answer on the spot. Why is that? Because the property of the Dhamma is thoroughly penetrated by the Tathagata. From his thorough penetration of the property of the Dhamma, he comes up with the answer on the spot."

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.058.than.html

-----------------

Zhuangzi and Huizi were strolling along the bridge over the Hao River. Zhuangzi said, “The minnows swim about so freely, following the openings wherever they take them. Such is the happiness of fish.”

Huizi said, “You are not a fish, so whence do you know the happiness of fish?”

Zhuangzi said, “You are not I, so whence do you know I don’t know the happiness of fish?”

Huizi said, “I am not you, to be sure, so I don’t know what it is to be you. But by the same token, since you are certainly not a fish, my point about your inability to know the happiness of fish stands intact.”

Zhuangzi said, “Let’s go back to the starting point. You said, ‘Whence do you know the happiness of fish?’ Since your question was premised on your knowing that I know it, I must have known it from here, up above the Hao River.”

[Anonymous No.10103384]

>>10103181
I call this aznbabble

["Anonymous" No.10103400]

>>10103384
上士聞道,勤而行之;
中士聞道,若存若亡;
下士聞道,大笑之,
不笑不足以為道!
故建言有之:
明道若昧,
進道若退,
夷道若類,
上德若谷,
大白若辱,
廣德若不足,
建德若偷,
質直若渝,
大方無隅,
大器晚成,
大音希聲,
大象無形。
夫惟道,善貸且成。

[Anonymous No.10103412]

>>10103400

["Anonymous" No.10103444]

>>10103412
廄焚。子退朝,曰:“傷人乎?” 不問馬。

[Anonymous No.10103446]

Altitude increasing

[Anonymous No.10103476]

>>10103444
>Do not ask the horse.
scared.jpeg

[Anonymous No.10103516]

I am hungry. I wish I could afford food that was good. Someone told me I would learn what was important if I lost all my stuff. I did. I learned that all of my stuff was more important than that person.

[Anonymous No.10103548]

>>10103516
>Someone told me I would learn what was important if I lost all my stuff. I did. I learned that all of my stuff was more important than that person.
That's pretty funny. Sorry.

[Anonymous No.10103562]

>>10094352
I have met many new people this last month. It's strange to go from being a hermit for three years, living in the woods, my mom my only company, to three or four new faces a week

Face one: My neighbor, hustler, liar. Does he know he is a liar or is he forever lost in his fantasies. Shares his narcotics freely. Money in my pocket

Face two: The overweight barmaid. Friendly when alone, she fills my ears with everyone's sins. I should like her but I don't. Her fear is that of an abuse victim

Face three: Another neighbor. Thought he only liked live action role playing. I realize now he's probably insane. He's creating his own world at the expensive of others. Face four told me his sins

Face four: Why do people tell me things about them I would never about myself? He likes to draw flowers of life everywhere and on everything and he doesn't use his guru bullshit to get chicks... Why? Why do I give him free shit? He "forced" me to watch tv with him on my tablet because he has no electronics. A crack in his selfless veneer.

Face five: Cute enough to stimulate my ever turbulent emotions. Jealousy boils to the surface when she gives her attention to others. Who am I to her anyway? Despite my best efforts, I'm still human it seems. She reminds me of my ever deepening depression and I remember when soft features equaled warmth and happiness. She writes quirky bullshit on facebook and I try hard to find deeper meaning in it but fail.

Face six: Another female. She knows loneliness as well as I do. That is why I should keep my distance

Face seven: The pinkest most playful nipple I saw for a brief moment. Her lighthearted demeanor beckoning me to come out of the shadow. A mere side-effect of intoxication. When sober her longing brings fear to my heart. Another victim lost to the world of spectres and genii.

Face eight: The bearded bullshitter. This man is a predator. His calm, shy, aloofness is his lure. His determination is his snare. No good will come from knowing this man

Face nine: My face... What am I? An amalgamation of faces one through eight? My face sometime shows in small quantities the terror, desperation, and restlessness inside of me when I think no-one is looking. They would be fools to let me into their world but they know I cannot sully them for they've erected egotistical labyrinths hiding away a withering oasis. What about my oasis? What is there left to save? How did I even get here?

[Anonymous No.10103572]

>>10101710
I don't like you...

[Anonymous No.10103591]

I spent 3 hrs trying to get lost in London. It's very difficult. There's a landmark every ninety degrees and rail bridges and the Thames.

I thought I knew exactly where I was
despite picking random turns, but then I tried to head back and all the landmark buildings became the same one and it was like the streets had all dis- and reconnected at random like Legos.

Ofc I wasn't really lost; there were street signs.

I saw graffiti that said 'HOPE FOR ???'

I had a club ticket and intended to rip the stub myself and just tell friends that I'd went but happened to not see them. Instead, I went, enjoyed myself, and happened to not see my friends anyway.

[Anonymous No.10103596]

>>10103572
That's okay with me.

[Anonymous No.10103655]

>>10103562
You should write a book or short story, dude.

[Anonymous No.10103882]

I have money and a little time but no passion. I've tried gambling, video gaming, reading, movies, gardening, stock trading, drawing, and writing, but the only thing that comes close is cooking and I still don't feel that passion everyone else says you're supposed to have. Where the hell is it?

[Anonymous No.10103888]

I don't want to do anything except die anymore but I'm too much of a coward to do it so I'll keep trying to do impossible things over and over again instead.

[Anonymous No.10104343]

>>10095847
Why would you paint this scene man? I didn't talk to her then and 10 years later I see her old pic from back then on Facebook and it's fresh in my mind. Like it happened yesterday. I forgot and now it's back. 10 years man... So many other things, good things, faded away and disappeared. I've been here before, in a dream. Next time I wake up I'll be 16 again and this time I'm going to do it right

[Anonymous No.10104352]

Germany, 1940. It was Shlomo and Judith's wedding night. They were just about to consummate their marriage, when Hans burst into the room. "What are you doing?!" exclaimed Schlomo. "I'm here to claim your bride," replied Hans. "No! You can't!". "You know what will happen if you even think about stopping me." Schlomo dropped his head, there was nothing he could or wanted to do. Hans then looked over at Judith. She was hiding beneath the bedcover, which he promptly tore off. Hans whipped out his extra large German sausage that had been concealed beneath his effay military uniform. "Can you compete with this?" Hans asked Schlomo. Schlomo took out his sausage, but it was barely perceptible. Hans turned again to Judith. "You want my big Aryan sausage, don't you?" Judith looked up at Hans, her surprisingly beautiful face looked hungry. "No!" shouted Schlomo, as Judith reached forward to grab Hans' mighty offering. Judith sucked that sausage and Hans stuffed her tight young peach. By the time they were finished the sun was starting to rise. Shlomo just knelt in the corner, whimpering. Hans' satisfaction showed itself clearly all over Judith's face, who was tired and drenched with sweat. "Well, my good deed for today is done," said Hans. "I probably did you a favor, what with that inadequate equipment you were trying to use," he said to Shlomo. Hans put his clothes back on, then left through the window like a superhero. Judith rolled over and went to sleep, completely satisfied. Shlomo just lay there, all cried out. Everything he had seen that night flashed through his mind. He eventually fell into a reluctant sleep of nightmares, without so much as a kiss on the cheek. Germans are nothing, if not thorough.

[Anonymous No.10104380]

>>10096749
Perhaps the capitalization of Him and Her are to represent that they are distinct people but not so much that they deserve names.

[Anonymous No.10104417]

>>10104352
1.6 million tonnes of bombs were not enough

[Anonymous No.10104495]

My experience with 90% of short stories: "Hey, this isn’t bad" halfway through, and "This whole thing went completely over my head" at the end.

[Anonymous No.10104573]

>>10094451
no, you're living

[Anonymous No.10104799]

>>10101730
Because it's only people OTHER than them who would be punished, so they think. Same reason people didn't want fags to marry, because it only effected others- again so they think.

Literally child-tier morality.

Libs blocked gun control legislation that would punish felons with guns much harder, because it would be "too hard on minority communities", so you tell me who they care about.

>>10101693
Take testosterone supplements. Trust me.

Chronically depressed shut-in a year ago up until 5 months ago.
Now, more or less back to the semblance of "normal" that I thought I'd forgotten from well before when I first got rejected by girls. People told me I give off confidence despite still being fat neckbeard. Actually some definition of happy, not letting little things get me down.

/pol/ just makes me laugh now, I just want to watch it all burn down for what the normies put me through.

[Anonymous No.10104851]

>>10103882
Find what you are looking for. You can't find your passion without knowing what your passion is.

[Anonymous No.10104855]

>>10100882
I've had three so far.

The first was that, one night, I was dreaming some indeterminate dream. The main thrust was that I was dreaming of doing something deliberately sinful. Suddenly I heard and felt a voice say, "That seems like a really stupid idea." I awoke then, and didn't sleep again for the rest of the night.

Months later, I happened to be visiting my family in my hometown, and I was driving to my parents' house after visiting a friend. I looked up at the horizon and saw the moon red as blood, and as I watched a shadow covered it. I thought it was strange that I'd missed a lunar eclipse in the news. Then I got home and found out there was no lunar eclipse scheduled for that night, and that there had been one weeks ago, but not that night. Nobody was talking about it on social media or in the news.

Finally, I happened to go to Confession last week, and as I was praying in the aftermath I heard a bell ring through the church. It was only for about ten seconds. I turned around, hoping to see other people in the pews around me reacting to the bell, but everyone was kneeling and sitting normally, with no sign that they had heard it. It's possible bells normally ring about that hour in that particular church, but I can't be sure.

[Anonymous No.10104862]

I don't have a job and live with my parents

this means that objectively speaking, I should not exist in this world. I look at people doing wonders and I struggle with even the basest of shit like sleeping and eating. It's grotesque
i'm so tired

[Anonymous No.10104863]

I need to fund a fucking job soon.
Valerie, I miss you more than ever.

[Anonymous No.10104873]

>>10103882
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC-cMv0e3Dc
1:06

[Anonymous No.10104891]

Theyre singing a song in their rocket
And here I am watching the blastoff
T minus lonely seconds
Technology cant bring me to the moon-
too tall to be an astronaut.
What good is the inherited Earth if I cant go out there?
Out there where I know you cannot find me

[Anonymous No.10105087]

>>10104891
gay

["Anonymous" No.10105173]

>>10103516
Get your stuff back with kung fu, faggot.
Fucking casuals, I swear.

[Anonymous No.10105184]

>>10103562
THAT'S MAYBE THE FUCKING COOLEST SHIT I'VE EVER READ HERE MY DUDE
KEEP ON POSTING PLZ

[Anonymous No.10105186]

>>10104891
Yes

[Anonymous No.10105195]

>>10104352
>Hans didn't throw her a towel so she can clean herself up and then do a triple backflip into his Panzer and drive home
soniamdisapoint.jpg

[Anonymous No.10105211]

"glitchy Asian sluts vomit distortion all over each other in reckless sexual abandon"

[Anonymous No.10105430]

I just read the wiki page for schizoid personality disorder and I ticked off every single thing

[Anonymous No.10105460]

my anxiety has reached the state where i'm nauseous 24/7 and unable to open my mouth if anybody asks what's wrong, the last pilars of my life are coming crashing down and the logical conclusion is homelesness or institutionalization

[Anonymous No.10105491]

>>10105430
rock it, weirdo

[Anonymous No.10105495]

>>10105460
try alcohol
cognac is what works best for me

[Anonymous No.10105537]

>>10105430
I just read it and nearly everything applies, thanks a lot

[Anonymous No.10105920]

is literally everything a spook? what is identity? personality? memory? reality? fucking shitty words don't mean anything

I'm having trouble existing in this plane of existence

[Anonymous No.10105972]

>>10094352
this guy's gettin hickeys from my gf man

[Anonymous No.10106033]

Do you lads live independent from other peoples perception of you?

[Anonymous No.10106124]

>>10106033
Yes and no. I don't allow stranger's/acquaintance's perception of me to phase me. Ultimately I'm okay with my co-workers seeing me as an asshole so long as they don't try to screw me over.
However, how loved ones perceive me is important. I want my family to be proud of me. I want my close friends to feel that they can rely on me.

[Anonymous No.10106459]

>>10094352
a hat!

[Anonymous No.10106476]

>>10106033
No. And I fucking hate myself for it. But that just reinforces letting others' opinions affect me.

[Anonymous No.10106480]

>>10103562
I like this a lot.

[Anonymous No.10106512]

>>10105173

I'm Amerifat, I can't do kung fu anymore because of too many burgers.

["Anonymous" No.10106680]

>>10106033
No. There are no others.

["Anonymous" No.10106687]

>>10106512
DREAMS
DON'T
DIE

[Anonymous No.10106697]

>>10105430

I just read the me page for me and I ticked off every single thing.

[Anonymous No.10106734]

>>10106512
>What is Kungfu Panda?

[Anonymous No.10106749]

>>10106680
Wait.

[Anonymous No.10106762]

Do I really want a girlfriend? I have an outlet in my car, my friends, and my writing. A girlfriend would only serve to complicate these things, and I'm not sure if I'd be happy with a girl willing to date me with how I am now.

I'm glad I finally have a car and my driving license, recently the law has changed a lot where I live, and by setting legal precedent, a lot of things I did for fun could make me guilty through association, or worse. I'm not sure how things will play out from here on, so now that I have something else to invest my time and passion into and not get done in because of political scheming with the law that has made some of my best memories into evidence that can be used against me.

[Anonymous No.10106768]

>>10106762
That's a problem, isn't it? When you're not the you (You) want to be, how can you live with someone who's happy with the you (You) are now? I can relate, so have a (You).

[Anonymous No.10106853]

In December of this last year, I was working in the mail room in the college dorms where I went to school, and one night after I had to start taking lithium and seroquel I skipped my medication and spiraled into a manic episode, during which I walked home with a package that I was supposed to take to the other mail room in a separate building.

Two days later the police showed up at my apartment, it was full of garbage and things I'd hoarded away as a false sense of security during such a turbulent time of my life. The sink was full of dirty dishes, trash can was overflowing, etc. I could see on their faces that they knew I didn't take the package out of malice, but because I truly was going off the deep end. But I still feel horrid, I think about it every day.

I had to go to court in February of this year, and I spent 38 hours in a jail cell with 4 other inmates with mental illness. No one knows I stole from work, or went to jail, and barely any of my friends and family know that I was diagnosed with type 1 bipolar disorder last fall.

It feels good to confess, but I feel like maybe I should tell someone else.

[Anonymous No.10106925]

>>10106768
Thanks lad, that's sort of my response to my friends who insist I should get a girlfriend, because what sort of a girl would want me in my current state? Most likely one who I don't think I'd like very much.

[Anonymous No.10106941]

>>10094495
4chan is just for a while , too.

[Anonymous No.10106947]

I had a lot more purpose and objective when I was insane, had anger problems etc. Now that I'm calmed down I kind of can't find it in me to do anything. Also I think I'm in a simulation based on some things I've seen but I don't know what to do with that information. Also I feel bad about how I acted when my trial came but I suppose I did the best I could and could have done a lot worse. But I do kind of hope there is a second chance, of some sort.

[Anonymous No.10106955]

>>10106941
Why do people think immutability is such a desirable thing? Eternity is a horrifying concept. What a terrible thing it is to experience eternity.

["Anonymous" No.10107057]

>>10106947
This post is so Kafkaesque.

>>10106955
Lack of imagination, ironically, and for the three times.

["Anonymous" No.10107124]

When things get to a point wherein no one thinker that comes to mind can be easily disregarded, and paradoxes seem to come out of everything, when one can't really say that this or that way or posture is the correct one--after some time has passed, and we can say that we are in another, thinking back, we call that past time a philosophical Golden Age.

Such a time we inhabit.

[Anonymous No.10107179]

YOU want to fuck with ME?
Think again, you little wood chips-inhaling worm
I just did 12.5 g of pure speed.
I AM Homo Divinus. I AM what Nietzsche described as Übermensch. I AM what Einstein called gravitational wave.

YOU mere mortal dare to question ME?
I AM what Orwell described as Big Brother. My diet consists exclusively of Prometheus' liver.
Do NOT try to fight me. It is of NO use.
I AM time itself.

I AM what Pandora tried to keep sealed in her box.
I AM the one that pushed Kronos from his throne.
Atlas loses grip if I so please.
Do NOT try to resist. It will be of NO use. I will bring great rot and decay to your race, mortal.

I transcended into realms believed to be mere fiction by human weaklings.
nigger

["Anonymous" No.10107207]

>>10107179
MC Ride get outta here pls

[Anonymous No.10107214]

It was a white and creamy morning that passed quickly with the odd speed of idleness. Shortly after ten it started to rain in thick spurts. He took a cold shower and got dressed and for a while he lay on the sofa with the blanket drawn over his hands, watching the internet. Then he got up and poured out his third and mostly undrunk cup of semen in the sink and went to put on his condom and raincoat. This was the stale cum-water into which Lion emerged, a smell of iron washed from the air, comforting and musty. No trace of yesterday’s heat. A sudden gush covered him with viscous spray and sent a shudder from his breasts to his feet. “What a fucker I am,” he said, addressing his life in general.

[Anonymous No.10107320]

>>10106955
But here's the thing, you already are experiencing it