/lit/ - Literature

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Anonymous Wed, Sep 20, 2017 08:36:31 No.10048197 [Reply] [Original]

>tfw people keep asking you to read their manuscripts because they know you're a writer

I make six figures coding in Haskell for a blogging startup out of Portland, OR. As mentioned, I write the backend using various Haskell frameworks. I also assist with frontend when the women can't figure how to manipulate the DOM. I work fifteen hours a week and make what most developers make in a forty-hour week. I'm that good. Oh, and did I mention I work exclusively remotely, which means, of course, from the various coffee boutiques near my loft, as well as from vegan cafeterias and, on occasion, the RagingBitch microbrewery.

Which brings me to my point: when I am not coding for said startup, I continue work on my literary career. I am 26 and have a corpus of over four thousand written pages, all workshoped and edited, of course (I *highly* recommend sleeping with editors.) I have been published in Tin House, Granta, McSweeny's, Ploughshares, and Glitter Train, to name a few. Each morning I sit at my writing desk with my implement and in long hand on refurbished artisinal papier continue drafting what will without a doubt be The Great American Internet Novel. My submissives (I visit a rotating cast of three at a time, all at least C-cup) refer to me as "Hemingway". I have never gone hungry, worn soiled clothes, or wanted for human attention. I have bipolar-II, and confront it directly and effectively through medication and power of willl. I therefore can speak to mental illness without being crippled by it.

I'd offer to read your manuscript but, let's face it, it's not worth my time.

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