[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]

2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

File: 71 KB, 550x383, 1504976111108.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:07:09 2017 No.10007911 [Reply] [Original]

In your best prose, describe pic related.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:11:11 2017 No.10007923 >>10007911 Nigga is stanky and goes vroom vroom.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:21:09 2017 No.10007963 >>10007911 The first officer to arrive at the scene of the crash had never before seen such a grotesque sight.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:24:10 2017 No.10007976 >>10007911 The abominable doughman.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:25:27 2017 No.10007980 OP enters his shitty thread.

Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:28:47 2017 No.10007992

>Lumbering slowly down the road on my electric bicycle, my store of dingelberries, in a cruel twist of fate, crushed into a paste and caked, or rather glued, to my ass crack, sweat pouring from my pores and flooding my folds, I noticed a McDonalds. Though McDonalds was a favorite of mine, my doctor had recently told me to cut back on my consumption of such food; for whatever reason, he had told me that my current diet was slightly unhealthy, whatever that means. However, being no uncouth man, I struggled, fought tooth and nail with my cravings, will against intrinsic want, nature against reason. Instinctively my electric bicycle, nearly of its own volition, swerved off the road, between a line of parked vehicles, headed straight for McDonalds. Held captive by my own steed, my body shouting at me to give in, my heart searing, my face contorted in pain at both my mental anguish for betraying my good doctor, and because my testicles had once again been crushed beneath a roving mound of flesh, I had no choice but to get in line at what McDonalds was calling the "drive thru." I shook like jelly while my electric bicycle drove slowly over the bumpy blacktop, like any man of any real masculinity would. Soon, foaming at the mouth, though stubborn as mule in my mind, I had acquired a tasty McBurger, or McFilet, or Mac Burger, or whatever they called their delicious meals. As I devoured my food, it being no fault of my own, remember, I knew my good doctor would understand.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:33:00 2017 No.10008002 >>10007992 Who r u quoting?

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:35:33 2017 No.10008016 >>10008002 myself

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:36:50 2017 No.10008020 OP's dad picks him up from school.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:42:37 2017 No.10008041 File: 830 KB, 250x250, 1504992679745.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10008020

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:44:32 2017 No.10008047 >>10008020 >Sorry son, no room in the back, guess you'll have to sit on my lap. Ho ho!

Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:47:00 2017 No.10008057

>>10007911
>Crushed by over 500 pounds of human waste, the bike moaned and coughed for help as it puttered down the road. But not even Fatty noticed. As Fatty recklessly turned into traffic towards the Taco Bell, cars swerved wildly out of his way - this was one of those rare times where if a collision were to occur, the motorcycle would win.

Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:51:27 2017 No.10008079

The fat dick's motorcycle sputtered onto the freeway at a cool 95 miles an hour. "You're going the wrong direction!" someone cried. A Ford Explorer slammed on its brakes, and a Japanese sedan swerved into an abutment. But he was too fat to hear. Too fat to care.

Meaty hands gripped rubber. Rainbow stripes became a mere blur as the bike exploded into the oncoming traffic. Weaving between commuters with precognitive finesse, the enormous man turned his mind only to his goal. His single purpose. The end of the road. He left a trail of death in his wake.

Anonymous Sun Sep 10 22:55:47 2017 No.10008094

His engine was 7 horsepower and his shirt was hewn from the cloth of a beach umbrella. His legs balooned from the footrests, and head-on his torso seemed like a thing leavened from a mass of brown dough.He was an obese man riding a four-stroke. Motorcycles are dangerous but he had little life left to live. It would not be long before his fourth stroke.

Anonymous Sun Sep 10 23:06:31 2017 No.10008134

>>10007911

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCwZrlkrfGg

Th'names Henry Wilson.

I'm the sysadmin for the Lower Colorado River Dam Administration management system.

Usually clock in round 0900.

Dam broke last night at 0400.

It's 1100.

And I still ain't had my breakfast.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 23:25:54 2017 No.10008192 >>10007911 Neat idea but there's really not enough going on in the picture to work with. Beyond the novelty of the fatass atop his pitiful steed, nothing else of interest is really happening.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 23:29:43 2017 No.10008197 Big Man on Little Bike. Hamburgers were on his mind, but time was R U N N I N G O UT

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 23:30:59 2017 No.10008200 >>10007911 Phat phuck. Phat P H U C K! The phattest phuck in the land.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 23:34:29 2017 No.10008217 >>10008094 lmao

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 23:38:46 2017 No.10008235 File: 23 KB, 300x296, I feel all empty inside.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10007911 I wish my brother George was here

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 10 23:44:37 2017 No.10008245 >>10007911 "out of my way you buffoon!" said Ignatius J Riely as weaved his minibike through traffic oblivious to multicar pileup he left in his wake.

Anonymous Mon Sep 11 00:29:08 2017 No.10008379

>>10007911
>The rotund gargantuan rumbled angrily down the road. Vibrations from the powerful machine between his legs reverberated though his flabby loins, expelling a powerful shockwave that split the concrete as he roared past. He weaved in and out of traffic, daring anyone to challenge his girth. The bright colors of his sweaty vestments cautioned any would-be opponents of the sour poison that lay just beneath. Anyone unfortunate enough to find themselves within sniffing range are instantly afflicted with lifelong incontinence.

>With no one brave enough to challenge the Alpha Wale, he directs his trusty iron steed towards the open road. Maybe in the next town he'll find someone worth the weight.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 00:30:29 2017 No.10008387 inefficient gas mileage

Anonymous Mon Sep 11 00:34:50 2017 No.10008393

Wind buffeted him as he headed for the buffet, the ripping jumble of gears beneath him offered a shattering fart as it began to recede into his fat, it appeared to passerby that he was simply puttering along by sheer force of broken wind.
he knew all too well that his glasses were the only thing he wore that day that decided to fit him, and he was going to make the small asian women feel his shame, forcing them to cart out platter after platter of orange chicken.
he drooled just thinking of the justice.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 00:40:00 2017 No.10008405 I realize now that the man does not ride in a car not because he prefers the pleasant gusts and the occasional bug, but rather because he can't fit on or into anything other than a motorcycle, because of his fucking gigantic hips.

Anonymous Mon Sep 11 02:31:02 2017 No.10008641

The image of the fat man on the little motorcycle resonated deeply within the cold, dimly lit mausoleums that the collective of literary ghouls called their rooms. A metaphorical shriek rang out across the backlit digital countryside in response to the huntmasters call of the posted image and challenge. The pale, gaunt creatures acted like virtual crabs in the bucket, a pointless king of the hill scramble to write a post more horrible than the last.

Anonymous Mon Sep 11 03:07:36 2017 No.10008711

"hey watch it you fat fuck" alex yells "gonna get ya'self killed" he muttered neurotically" as one greasy ball of ectoplasm weaves in and out of neatly woven traffic and soon to knit right past my white dodge truck like some kind of western Buddha determined to enlighten the whole damn world. and here we were were just me and alex and the open road an- "WAHT IN THE FUCK!" is thrown out of alex's voice box when i look in my mirror and there is good ol prophet Buddha lying on hot holy tar with a pile of lard hanging from his thigh "OH sweet sweet lord, please dont let me die, i want to live god!!" even that saint of a man cruising his four stroke bringing pure light to all who would listen was asking for help, but no one would.

Anonymous Mon Sep 11 09:33:09 2017 No.10009499

Oh yeah, gonna ride my bike now
gonna see Darlene down at the McDonalds
get me a number four with the supersize, oh yeah.

Got on my favorite shirt now
jaunty shade of yellow
just like my bike, yeah
bet I could pitch a few pennies against them boys down at the Texaco
probably break them boys, the way I'm feelin'
got the hot hand, now.

There goes Carl's truck
"Hey, Carl!"
beep-beep
oh yeah. S'up, Carl.
I'm gonna take your money down by the Texaco-ooooooo

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 09:39:37 2017 No.10009518 >>10008057 >this was one of those rare times where, if a collision were to occur, the motorcycle would win. Made me chuckle.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 09:46:00 2017 No.10009534 >>10009518 That's because you're a ghoul.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 09:47:36 2017 No.10009538 >>10008641 I liked this. Good chan-themed book when?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 09:50:50 2017 No.10009548 >>10008079 Decent.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 10:02:28 2017 No.10009575 >>10008079 >But he was too fat to hear. Too fat to care. I lost it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 10:13:29 2017 No.10009598 >>10007911 run of the mill american going grocery shopping

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 11:31:34 2017 No.10009761 >>10007911 even though fat doesn't deposit proportionally across the body, we should we should be thankful it accumulates symmetrically

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 12:00:05 2017 No.10009850 >>10007992 this is how 90% of /lit/ writes, with no attention to prose and zero concern for the abuse of commas. using cliche sentences too.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 13:31:57 2017 No.10010204 File: 47 KB, 536x522, randy mamola.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10007992 >electric bicycle

Anonymous Mon Sep 11 13:50:41 2017 No.10010252

>>10007911
John Dolittle realized something a little too late. He was going the wrong way.
He made as small of a turn that a man of his substantial girth could make upon such a compact scooter. Which, involved running (metaphorically speaking as John could not actually run) through oncoming traffic, narrowly missing being hit by an old farmer, who was not all that upset given he was getting his Johnny licked by a Prostitute he had hired to celebrate his recent crop success.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 13:54:41 2017 No.10010269 >>10007911 Cause of Mexico earthquake finally determined, more on page 3

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 14:03:49 2017 No.10010300 >>10009850 >zero concern for the abuse of commas they are trying to emulate Pynchon and failing miserably

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 14:06:28 2017 No.10010306 >>10007976 TPBP

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 14:23:51 2017 No.10010363 >>10007992 You gotta put words with your commas my guy

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 11 14:29:00 2017 No.10010376 >>10008245 made me laugh

Advanced search
Text to find
Subject [?]Search by post subject. Leave empty for any.
Username [?]Search for user name. Leave empty for any user name.
Tripcode [?]Search for tripcode. Leave empty for any.
Email [?]Search by email. Leave empty for any.
Filename [?]Search by image filename. Leave empty for any.
From Date [?]Enter what date to start searching from. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
To Date [?]Enter what date to start searching until. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
Image hash
Search in	All Posts OPs Only
Deleted posts	Show all posts Show only deleted posts Only show non-deleted posts
Internal posts	Show all posts Show only internal posts Show only archived posts
Order	New posts first Old posts first
Capcode	All Posts Only by Users Only by Mods Only by Admins Only by Developers
Results	Posts Threads
Action	[ Simple ]