Submit to &amp 017

[Anonymous No.22224600]

Send your work in now for a chance to be featured in &amp Issue Seventeen, coming the first week of July. We’re enforcing a stricter word-count limit for this issue, so anything over 5000 words is unlikely to be accepted. We especially are in need of classifieds, Steal These Stories and poetry right now.

Submit:
[e-mail]
[e-mail]
https://lampbylit.com/submit

Check your submission status here:

https://lampbylit.com/elite
Username: anon
Password: god

Best of &amp is on schedule and will finally arrive this July.

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p&amp&amp&amp&am
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[Anonymous No.22224604]

>Submit to &amp
How about no!

[Anonymous No.22224605]

First for James Krake

[Anonymous No.22224650]

Thanks for the free advertisement Gardner. Feel free to keep filling my coffers for me.

[Anonymous No.22224665]

>>22224650
Is it really advertisement if the only thing people see is how far along your transition to Discord trannies has come?

[Anonymous No.22224684]

>>22224600
You got the submission email wrong, it’s [e-mail]

[Anonymous No.22224695]

>>22224600
You got the submission email wrong, it’s [e-mail]

[Anonymous No.22224707]

>>22224684
>>22224695
kek. Based Gardner.

[Anonymous No.22224718]

>>22224695
3/10 trolling.

[Anonymous No.22224721]

>>22224695
>>22224684
OP is correct retards.

[Anonymous No.22224755]

>>22224600
How many posts can you make it before the thread meltdowns into sperging about discord drama?

[Anonymous No.22224765]

Is it Ari or Gardner making these threads? I'm so confused. What does Krake have to do with any of this?

[Anonymous No.22224776]

>>22224765
It’s Ari 100%. He wants revenge on editor-kun for taking Atlas’s side and throwing him under the bus

[Anonymous No.22224791]

>>22224776
Ari would never do that. It has to be Gardner.

[Anonymous No.22224802]

>>22224765
Krake is the best writer on 4chan I love him

[Anonymous No.22224803]

>>22224802
Tell me more about Krake. Why does Unreal hate him so?

[Anonymous No.22224814]

>>22224803
They’re jealous of his writing

[Anonymous No.22224827]

>>22224791
>Ari would never do that
Ari hates Atlas. He must be pretty pissed off that editor-kun picked her to edit the upcoming issue and has sexiled him to the best-of cuckshed. You think he’d draw the line at making troll threads? I bet he wants to burn this bitch down.

[Anonymous No.22224878]

James Krake is amazing

[Anonymous No.22224988]

>>22224878
Wrong

[Anonymous No.22224997]

>>22224600
>so anything over 5000 words is unlikely to be accepted.
LAME

[Anonymous No.22225065]

James Krake is brilliant

[Anonymous No.22225144]

>>22225065
Fake and gay

[Anonymous No.22225152]

James Krake is handsome and holds me and he writes stories about me i love him

[Anonymous No.22225153]

>>22225152
He looks like he has a mild form of Down Syndrome

[Anonymous No.22225166]

James Krake is big and strong and has great hair and a huge cock I love his writing too

[Anonymous No.22225168]

>>22225153
Why are you so jealous of their love?

[Anonymous No.22225173]

>>22224600
Can I just send any random shit? like what kind of stuff does your zine accept

[Anonymous No.22225177]

>>22225173
What was it about this dogshit thread that made you want to submit?

[Anonymous No.22225180]

>>22225177
James Krake is a brilliant mind and seeing his name inspired me to write

[Anonymous No.22225181]

>>22225173
Read past issues to get an idea. The bar is pretty low.

[Anonymous No.22225186]

>>22225180
submit to KrakePress. Coming this September.

[Anonymous No.22225191]

>>22225186
KrakePress would blow the fuck out of this site.

[Anonymous No.22225194]

>>22225173
We accept basically anything—stories, poems, nonfiction essays, art, photos, reviews…send it in to [e-mail]

[Anonymous No.22225195]

>>22225168
Because I love James Krake and don't want anyone else to love him

>>22225153
This was me out of jealousy I love you James Krake you're so handsome

[Anonymous No.22225199]

>>22225194
Sorry this is a James Krake thread the only bright spot on this shit board writer of classics like Infinite Money, Glitch Faceless, Five to Four, and Ship of Fuls

[Anonymous No.22225211]

>best
James Krake

[Anonymous No.22225224]

I love James Krake

[Anonymous No.22225255]

I don’t know what’s taking Ari so long with the best of. Krake only has one story so there’s only one story to add. I guess he just wants to make it perfect. Krake deserves as much.

[Anonymous No.22225330]

>>22225255
>I don’t know what’s taking Ari so long with the best of.

It’s just laziness.

[Anonymous No.22225339]

The best of should have been done immediately after the 15th edition because nothing is topping Sawtooth Cycle by James Krake

[Anonymous No.22225871]

>>22224600
Seriously remove the word count limit or we're going to have problems. I will personally hunt you cowards down. I'm sick of this dainty microfiction gay bullshit.
I will fuck you up.

[Anonymous No.22225924]

>>22225871
Look at this as a blessing in disguise. Now you have no reason to read/submit to this dumpster fire of a mag. You’re free.

[Anonymous No.22225925]

>>22225871
5000 words is plenty. Most anons can't even write 500 words worth publishing. Have you never heard the phrase 'kill your darlings?' Take it as a sign you should be significantly cutting down your work to the pure idea and form.

[Anonymous No.22226060]

fap and CUM

[Anonymous No.22226349]

>>22225871
You’re free to submit a story that’s longer than 5000 words for consideration, but it has to be good enough to justify its length. If the quality-to-quantity ratio isn’t there then we probably won’t use it.

>>22225925
Exactly. Concision is a virtue.

[Anonymous No.22226711]

Bump

[Anonymous No.22226859]

>>22225871
>krakeposting this hard

[Anonymous No.22226956]

>>22225871
&amp should just be full length James Krake novels desu

[Anonymous No.22226994]

>>22224600
it you're in such dire need why don't you classify these nuts?

[Anonymous No.22227016]

>>22226994
I’ll put this in the classifieds section, thanks anon

[Anonymous No.22227107]

>>22224600
if you have such a dire need why don't you classify these nuts?

[Anonymous No.22227250]

>>22224802
Hahahaaa he's being ironic, Krake is one of the worst.

[Anonymous No.22227257]

He's just joking James Krake is the best

[Anonymous No.22227759]

Bump

[Anonymous No.22228140]

Bump

[Anonymous No.22228343]

Unreal's greatest crime is not the doxing of Ari, but the arrogance that came with not heeding the words of Krake. Let this be a lesson for us all.

[Anonymous No.22228713]

So… is this still coming out the first week of July? Even with the generous interpretation, that’s today.

[Anonymous No.22228729]

>>22228713
We’re releasing the new issue on July 7th.

[Anonymous No.22228732]

More James Krake please

>>22228729
>>22228713
Hopefully Sawtooth Cycle finally gets the proper attention it deserves

[Anonymous No.22228736]

James Krake is a big strong teddy bear who makes me feel secure

[Anonymous No.22228749]

>>22228729
What about the best of? OP says it’s coming out this month as well, but OP is also a troll.
What’s even up with Ari anyway? If he hates &amp why is he doing still doing the best of?

[Anonymous No.22228760]

>>22228749
The best of is just a special edition featuring Sawtooth Cycle by James Krake and the newest chapter of The Undying Empire before it goes up on royal road. &amp said they were considering publishing all the Undying Empire acts as separate books, Fertilizer Wars, and his short stories in their discord but I wasn't supposed to say that. That's the biggest news

[Anonymous No.22228804]

>>22228749
Ari doesn’t involve himself in the petty drama. He’s working on the best of because he cares about us. Don’t believe the lies.

[Anonymous No.22228812]

>>22228749
I have no idea. The last I heard he was aiming for July. If you want more updates you’ll have to ask him yourself.

[Anonymous No.22228820]

>>22228804
The only good thing about the best of is that James Krake will get some more exposure. I don't give a fuck who is making it or even know who Ari is, but make it right for Krake and we will all be happy

[Anonymous No.22228826]

Enough about Ari it's starting to piss me off does this guy even right? I've never seen his writing mentioned anywhere, so no. Let's discuss someone who writes and writes well, James Krake. Releasing his Royal Roads series as books and a short story collection is the type of news to make my week. Plus I already pre-ordered his newest book.

[Anonymous No.22228834]

>>22228804
Ari doesn’t care about anyone but himself. If he finishes the best-of it’ll be to satisfy his own ego, not because he cares about anyone involved in &amp.

[Anonymous No.22229002]

>>22224600
came to /lit/ to shitpost and discovered this thread
i ain't gonna email you shit, i'll shitpost right here and you can take it or leave it

>Title: French Fries

I was about to cum when the alarm went off again.

I groped at the phone's screen with my left hand and utterly failed to swipe the notification away. "Shit," I lamented as the orgasm burst through too soon and melted away into a dribble running down my right hand. The moneyshot involving a brunette slut played somewhere behind the alarm notification. Fuck it -- it was already 7:15 AM anyway. I got up and wiped my fingers off on a wad of Chipotle napkins, sniffing the seedy bundle before throwing it into the toilet.

I grabbed a bag of frozen fries from the freezer and dumped half of it into my air fryer. 400F, seven minutes, GO. Seven minutes to check my work laptop. Angry email from HR demanding to know who racked up $23,300 in travel expenses last month. Email thread about yet another mainline regression. IM from the boss angry about the unfinished disclosure paperwork.

The air fryer beeped. I discarded the death threat I was typing up in Outlook and went back to the kitchen. Paper plate, dump fries on top. Ketchup -- missing.

My day was ruined.

[Anonymous No.22229103]

>>22229002
absolutely terrible

[Anonymous No.22229646]

>>22229002
Still better than the American Psycho essay.

[Anonymous No.22229702]

>>22229002
This bag of fries has a more complex and cohesive graphic design than anything I have seen from &amp. Really puts things in perspective.

[Anonymous No.22230292]

>>22229702
Dude, &amp Magazine is a stupid piece of shit. Literally zero people have heard of it. Literally it doesn’t exist. It never happened.

[Anonymous No.22230435]

>>22229646
give me a cliffsnotes on the american psycho essay

[Anonymous No.22230455]

>>22230435
> It’s an awkwardly-written, tedious piece of work that drones on for multiple pages without saying anything unique or thought-provoking. Most of the observations made in the essay are incredibly obvious to anyone who’s even skimmed the book, and a lot of it is just plot summary, so it also feels insulting to the reader’s intelligence. It has this pretentious, stiff, and weirdly prudish tone that serves as a bizarre contrast to the novel’s crude and graphic subject matter—it reads as though the writer is a mid-40’s Evangelical Christian from the Midwest who works a dweeby middle-management desk job and runs an amateur bowling league on the weekends. But the biggest issue is that it lacks focus. It the writer had chosen a single theme to focus on in depth— Bateman’s influence on internet culture, for example—it could’ve been somewhat interesting, but it feels like the author attempted to comment on everything and ended up saying nothing of substance.

[Anonymous No.22230479]

>>22229002
I think its funny

[Anonymous No.22230768]

obsessed

[Anonymous No.22231378]

>>22229002
Atrocious. Even as a shitpost this is awful. You need to either vastly improve or shit the bed even harder. As it is now, if compared to the last issue, you're not even bottom three.

[Anonymous No.22231986]

>>22224776
>>22224827
Why don’t you guys just apologize to Ari if he’s going to be this big an issue? You guys need to bury the hatchet on this.

[Anonymous No.22232745]

>>22229002
this is coming from a really dark place

[Anonymous No.22232853]

>>22232745
Well, you're not wrong. I traded my burning desire to become a musician for a stable corporate absurdity with regular pay.
Sometimes I wish I had the skills to put my impotent seething into words so that others may gawk at what I've become. It'd be like a performative art done entirely on paper. Since I can't do that, I just eat french fries for breakfast.
I don't toss my Chipotle cum napkin in the toilet, btw. That'd be too much even for me.

[Anonymous No.22232888]

>>22231986
Ari should apologize to James Krake

[Anonymous No.22233272]

>>22232888
True actually! Krake would have had his own radio show by now if Ari wasn’t so damn doxable..

[Anonymous No.22233666]

Give 018

[Anonymous No.22234253]

Where's the Gardner mag? I was actually excited for that dumpster fire. It's been radio silent since he announced it.

[Anonymous No.22234474]

>>22234253
Keyword was another one of editor-sama’s psyops

[Anonymous No.22234492]

>>22234253
Keyword was an in joke from us. We didn't do the initial announcement though so it may actually be real.

[Anonymous No.22234629]

017 when? pls gib

[Anonymous No.22234706]

>>22234629
this

[Anonymous No.22234711]

>>22234629
Tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.22234734]

James Krake

[Anonymous No.22234769]

>>22234734
…is a worthless hack.

[Anonymous No.22234812]

>>22234711
But you said the 7th..

[Anonymous No.22234835]

James Krake is amazing

[Anonymous No.22234863]

>>22234812
Oops, I thought Saturday was the 7th—I should’ve said the 8th. We’re almost done, don’t worry. &amp is coming.

[Anonymous No.22234937]

[Anonymous No.22235131]

>>22234937
Based and lemurpilled

[Anonymous No.22235213]

Which cock was responsibly for the absolutly botched line editing for Adem’s story? How do you even miss some of this shit? Repeated text, obvious misspellings. I’m going to fucking kill you. Make sure Tales 2 is clean you piece of shit

[Anonymous No.22235302]

>>22235213
They copy&pasted the story into fucking Word template. Do you expect real editing? I don't know whether this makes them look better or not, but they have used the excuse that they did no editing at all to the text. All the mistakes present were present in the original draft. They were too lazy to run it through a spellcheck, but so was Adem I guess.

[Anonymous No.22235323]

>>22235302
Correction: it was a Canva template

[Anonymous No.22235369]

>>22235323
Was Tales really made in fucking Canva? Are these people retarded? Does no one have $250 to drop on Vellum? InDesign and Scrivener are cheaper alternatives if you're poor. Fuck, just use Word if you're desperate. Come on guys. This is embarrassing.

[Anonymous No.22235779]

>>22235213
Is it fucked?

[Anonymous No.22235926]

>>22234863
ye slut
ye ageless harlot
ye trammel-cow
ye bungled assortment
ye mundanity
ye cloud of quotidian error
ye common bag
ye bitched-up lob
ye blight on my skids
ye feedback, low and mechanical
ye underthought
ye languid
ye nail poorly set in the shoe of a lame horse
ye clock-miser
ye fizzle-not-bang
ye prattler, tattler, and fig
ye unmade bed
ye hazy shame
ye calendrically disconnected limb
ye bog turtle a-roadside wandering
ye mattress
ye comprende no
ye tower of crenellation cracked and leaning slightly

know that I am VERY PUT OUT

[Anonymous No.22235945]

>>22235369
Tales was not made in Canva. &amp is. Tales is

[Anonymous No.22236017]

>>22235945
I don’t know what you mean by this but both you need to move off of Canva. Learn Photoshop. You’re gimping yourself with a meme webapp because it lets you cheat in a couple effects you don’t want to learn how to do in PS.

[Anonymous No.22236106]

>>22234863
Wasn't &amp planning to normalize submission acceptance emails?

[Anonymous No.22236198]

>>22236017
Unironically this is insanely retarded. Do not complicate your workflow, one that half a dozen people are already acquainted with, in order to pursue a minor increase in efficiency. It’s not worth it when the profit is nonexistent and the product satisfactory. The problems I mentioned would be solved by simply reading the submitted story, canva has nothing to do with it.

Tales never touched canva. It was rough rough drafted in paint.net and google docs, then the lead designer redid everything in the appropriate adobe suite programs.

[Anonymous No.22236221]

>>22236198
>minor increase in efficiency
There's so much more to graphic design than throwing in some $15 a month clipart and a couple blur effects here and there. If you don't want to put the effort into reaching that, say you don't want to put the effort in. Don't give some unconvincing spiel on the merits of dragging your ass.

[Anonymous No.22236810]

>>22236198
Canva is a pile of shit and you would be retarded to use it for anything that isn’t a grade school presentation. Even Ari with his defence of GIMP is less retarded.

[Anonymous No.22237634]

>>22235213
Ari did that. He’s so useless.

[Anonymous No.22237648]

017 when? pls gib

[Anonymous No.22237865]

>>22236810
>>22236221
>men who produce nothing tell producers to change their methods of production
It truly never ends. Also, you don’t even know what you’re looking at, have no way of telling what was made in canva vs what wasn’t, what’s clip art vs what is custom vector art. If you don’t like the design then say that, but don’t make a fool of yourself by blaming the tools. Always a very lazy approach.
People want to be heard. Critique is the attempt of the soulless to create something, by modifying the work of the makers.

[Anonymous No.22238049]

>>22237865
>Critique is the attempt of the soulless to create something, by modifying the work of the makers.
I’ll ignore how pathetic a deflection that is and instead point out how supremely ironic it is for you to say that when you’re only contribution to art is the mishmashing of other people’s writing onto other peoples art, most of which you don’t even receive consent to use.

[Anonymous No.22238132]

>>22238049
*your

[Anonymous No.22238150]

>>22238132
I left that mistake in there on purpose to see if you would catch it. I also used the non-possessive "peoples". Apparently that went over your head despite being right next to a proper usage of the word.
If you retards spent as much time proofreading &amp as you did on pretending to be big shot magazine editors on an anonymous imageboard then maybe Adem's story wouldn't have been butchered so badly.

[Anonymous No.22238455]

>>22238132
Where was this when Adem's story was being typed up?

[Anonymous No.22238500]

Still seething about Adem's story because I cannot believe the laziness on display, but I will say the editor did a great job with the formatting for No Adonis. Fantastic piece, and you masked the length really well. Couldn't believe that story was 10k words when I put it into GDocs. Read it in a sitting, it definitely felt long but it was compressed to ~5 full sized pages and double columned. The art was great as well.
I guess being a mixed bag is sort of a staple of /lit/ productions.
Where 017 btw. I need to get some of these printed out for my coffee table.
Also the link to 016 is busted. Come on fellas.

[Anonymous No.22238567]

It's hilarious that no one has spotted what an absolute mess Adem's story was until a month after it was published. Does no one read this shit?

[Anonymous No.22238589]

>Mixtape
>Hybperboria

[Anonymous No.22238601]

>>22238567
They don't make it easy. &amp is actually insanely hard to access. Like I said, the link for 016 doesn't even work, I had to find the upload archive to even read it.
It wouldn't be much trouble to get &amp's circulation to respectable numbers desu, and I anticipate Zulu working to broaden its reach.
These are entirely astroturfed troll threads anyhow. 31 IPs, and I'd estimate ~7 are responsible for 75 of the posts. When 017 drops we'll get the usual customers of &amp coming through, which is kind of the problem; the mag hit its peak in terms of reach in 2021, hasn't really grown since. Should though. It's good enough, looks nice, which is what drew in those guys in the first place, that, and it's an accessible platform for their art.

[Anonymous No.22238667]

>>22238601
>It wouldn't be much trouble to get &amp's circulation to respectable numbers desu
Honestly, I don't think there's much of an audience for this. The vast, vast, vast majority of these "usual customers of &amp" are people who were previously published in the mag, are currently being published or who want to be published down the road. Very few people seems to be reading it for the stories, only propping it up in the hope that its success may one day prop them up. When even the most core of your core audience are only willing to give it a passing glance and a single sentence of encouragement once every 1-4 months how are you supposed to broaden your reach? You're the first guy to mention the Mixtape issues. Supposedly there are 31 people in this thread, all of whom are &amp super fans who have read this front to back, but no one caught that. Why?

[Anonymous No.22238682]

>>22238667
>hope that its success may one day prop them up
I was never holding my breath for that. And concerning Mixtape, I didn't read that part because I already read the novel.

[Anonymous No.22238691]

>>22238667
There's *an* audience. It's just very hard to cultivate one. &amps problem isn't their ouroboros fanbase, but rather that they limit their scope to /lit/. People don't realize how slow this damn board is. When I ran ads here the numbers suggested that the amount of unique weekend posters were in the dozens. There may be 150 regular posters on this board. They've grown as much as they can here,

[Anonymous No.22238702]

>>22238691
Is this true? Mostly lurk except for poetry threads. I can't believe it's that low

[Anonymous No.22238704]

New issue just dropped
>>22238652
>>22238652
>>22238652

[Anonymous No.22238715]

>>22238702
A few other people (mostly related to &amp, ironically) have also run /lit/ specific ads. I've heard similar things from them. It's a small board. I often blame the eternal newfag for the quality of threads here, but more than likely it's just 25 or so retards that have made it their home board and refuse to stop scenting the joint up.

[Anonymous No.22238809]

>>22238715
That's sad to hear. All I can say is that poetry threads are distinctly worse that years prior, so maybe this is a newer phenomenon