/wg/ - Writing General

[Anonymous No.21883579]

The Text Addiction edition.

Previous thread: >>21868425

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.

Simple guides on writing:
https://youtu.be/pHdzv1NfZRM
https://youtu.be/whPnobbck9s
https://youtu.be/YAKcbvioxFk

Thread theme:
https://youtu.be/TDsFtVK9rzA

[Anonymous No.21883663]

Intro to my sci-fi short story. And yes, I'm an ESL.

But would you turn the page?

[Anonymous No.21883806]

I've explained my theory of Loose Alliteration several times on /wg/ and finally got around to writing out a clearer explanation.

https://tookys.substack.com/p/how-to-write-using-loose-alliteration

[Anonymous No.21883822]

>>21883663
I would not turn the page - too many descriptors in the first sentence which makes it hard to continue. I understand what you're going for though, and unironically recommend you look to Dickens for opening paragraphs that are long, descriptive, but don't make you want to shut the book.
Kek'd at the next few lines though.

[Anonymousn No.21883852]

Some interesting ideas in George Saunder's latest Substack newsletter:

>I often find myself talking, to my students, about "crossing the wires." Maybe I'll post about this in the future. But basically, for some reason, most of us will, in the early phases of a story, have several interesting elements that aren't having much to do with one another. We're busy putting each element on its feet but then....they have to interfere with or interact with each other in a non-trivial way.

>This “crossing the wires” idea comes from another idea, or aspiration, really: everything in a story should be part of an organic whole. Everything in a story (the characters, the settings, the voice) should be cross-talking coherently. (Is this ever completely true? No. But we can dream.)

>A lot of this wire-crossing will happen very naturally, just by putting two characters in the same room. (Although even then, we have sometimes have to make the effort to get them to meaningfully engage, and not just stay two separate, solipsistic creations.)

>But there are other, mechanical, things we can try, especially near the end of a story.

>For example, we might just scan through the list of characters, trying to quickly imagine what they think of one another (even if they’re never in the same scene). Once we’ve done this, and we go in for another pass, we might, knowing more about these relationships, find small tweaks to make to the dialogue, that will make things move lively and three-dimensional.

>We might even find places where we’ve been blocking an obvious move by a character. Say that, during our scan, we realize that Anna’s mother resents her success as a singer. Why is that the case? It leaps into our mind: Anna’s mother was a singer too, when young, but had to quit, to have Anna. Now, at the big recital, this gives Anna’s mother a certain presence. She is not just “mother, at recital” but “jealous mother at recital, mourning her lost dream.” This might, in turn, create a moment, after the recital, for Anna’s mother to react where, now, in the current draft, she’s just standing in the crowd of well-wishers in the dressing room.

>It contributes to that feeling that “every element has a relation to every other element.” In this phase, we’re aspiring to move our story from a two-dimensional drawing to a three-dimensional, even holographic, system.

>It’s also sometimes helpful (it will sometimes jar something loose) to go through the story in the mind of each of the characters, even the non-central ones, just…to see. I don’t do this consistently, not at all. But sometimes it helps me ferret out certain logical questions. (What is Character B doing, while Character A is giving his big speech to the reader on page 19? When Character B comes back, how is she different from when she left? And so on.)

[Anonymous No.21883884]

>>21883663
the first sentence needs to be simplified. and i have no idea what subzero liquid even means since they're oxymorons. by the time you hit subzero it vaporizes. It just feels like you're stringing words together just to write at a higher register without saying much.

>Something to all-inclusive lap dance the unspoken need of the masses."

This means absolutely nothing.

[Anonymousn No.21883965]

A few weeks ago I posted the first part of my femdom fetish erotica story based on hard-boiled detective fiction.

Here's part two, which I wrote at work yesterday instead of working.

It's supposed to be very pulpy, but hopefully in an enjoyable way instead of a corny unreadable way.

My main concern right now is that the ramp-up into real 18+ erotica will be too slow for my coomer audience. I guess I could always take the lazy way out: open with an in media res sex scene and then do *record scratch* 'You're probably wondering how I ended up here.'

[Anonymousn No.21883967]

>>21883965
Here's part one, for anyone interested.

It's had some edits since the last time I posted it, chief among them being that the nighclub is now called Amontillado's, because apparently there are 700 real-life nightclubs already called The Catacomb Club.

[Anonymous No.21883980]

I'm back to writing my highly stereotyped characters point of view.
I know it's racist but god dammit its just so fun.

[Anonymous No.21884002]

>>21883852
Wow, did not know he had a substack. How much is it? Does he post frequently or at least regularly? Is it worth it in your opinion?

I've read his book where he dissects some Russian short stories and an essay where he went through "The School" by Barthelme and I really enjoyed his insights.

[Anonymousn No.21884016]

>>21884002
>Is it worth it
I wish I could tell you, I signed up a while back and just read the free email updates lol.

But yeah, A Swim in a Pond in the Rain is probably the best book on writing I've ever read.

[Anonymous No.21884036]

>>21883822
>Dickens
this is great advice. Dickens is absolutely masterful at openings. his problem is his books are full of padding later on because that's how he got paid, but his descriptions and hooks at the start of the story are so well put together. my favorite opening chapter is Bleak House.

>In Chancery
>LONDON. Michaelmas Term lately over, and the Lord Chancellor sitting in Lincoln's Inn Hall. Implacable November weather. As much mud in the streets as if the waters had but newly retired from the face of the earth, and it would not be wonderful to meet a Megalosaurus, forty feet long or so, waddling like an elephantine lizard up Holborn Hill. Smoke lowering down from chimney-pots, making a soft black drizzle, with flakes of soot in it as big as full-grown snow-flakes gone into mourning, one might imagine, for the death of the sun. Dogs, undistinguishable in mire. Horses, scarcely better; splashed to their very blinkers. Foot passengers, jostling one another's umbrellas in a general infection of ill-temper, and losing their foot-hold at street-corners, where tens of thousands of other foot passengers have been slipping and sliding since the day broke (if the day ever broke), adding new deposits to the crust upon crust of mud, sticking at those points tenaciously to the pavement, and accumulating at compound interest.

>Fog everywhere. Fog up the river, where it flows among green aits and meadows; fog down the river, where it rolls defiled among the tiers of shipping and the waterside pollutions of a great (and dirty) city. Fog on the Essex marshes, fog on the Kentish heights. Fog creeping into the cabooses of collier-brigs; fog lying out on the yards, and hovering in the rigging of great ships; fog drooping on the gunwales of barges and small boats. Fog in the eyes and throats of ancient Greenwich pensioners, wheezing by the firesides of their wards; fog in the stem and bowl of the afternoon pipe of the wrathful skipper, down in his close cabin; fog cruelly pinching the toes and fingers of his shivering little apprentice boy on deck. Chance people on the bridges peeping over the parapets into a nether sky of fog, with fog all round them, as if they were up in a balloon, and hanging in the misty clouds.

>Gas looming through the fog in divers places in the streets, much as the sun may, from the spongey fields, be seen to loom by husbandman and ploughboy. Most of the shops lighted two hours before their time as the gas seems to know, for it has a haggard and unwilling look.

>The raw afternoon is rawest, and the dense fog is densest, and the muddy streets are muddiest near that leaden-headed old obstruction, appropriate ornament for the threshold of a leaden-headed old corporation, Temple Bar. And hard by Temple Bar, in Lincoln's Inn Hall, at the very heart of the fog, sits the Lord High Chancellor in his High Court of Chancery.

[Anonymous No.21884038]

Real life continues to present me with material far superior to that which my imagination can conjure. Should I fight? Or perish like the dog that I am?

[Anonymous No.21884073]

>>21884038
Your imagination is nothing without real life. In fact, it is real life the one who allows you to imagine. to think that your imagination is that valuable! Ah!

[Anonymousn No.21884084]

>>21884073

[Anonymous No.21884085]

>>21884073
So they were right when they said you need to live before you write

[Anonymousn No.21884111]

>>21884036
>As much mud in the streets as if the waters had but newly retired from the face of the earth, and it would not be wonderful to meet a Megalosaurus, forty feet long or so, waddling like an elephantine lizard up Holborn Hill
This is such a far-fetched conceit, yet it somehow gives you a really precise and grounded feel for the scene. Genius.

[Anonymous No.21884264]

>>21884036
This is exactly the passage I was thinking of, along with
>It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

[Anonymous No.21884434]

>>21884085
Dude i literally wrote pic related based on things i'd seen and done during a five year period of my life when i lived and worked out bush.
The idea of just going somewhere and working a crappy job and absorbing all the stories around you for later use is actually a pretty good idea.

[Anonymous No.21884482]

>>21883884
>subzero liquid even means since they're oxymorons
Not same anon but if it would really give your critiques more grace if you phrased them subjectively. That way you sound less arrogant when you're wrong.

[Anonymous No.21884504]

>>21883806
I just read everything outloud to see if it sounds okay

[Anonymous No.21884580]

>>21884482
pouring subzero liquid on a tongue would be torture. pouring a bucketful of liquid on a tongue would be grossly excessive. the word subzero doesn't fit, and bucket of it is ridiculous

[Anonymous No.21884727]

My book are currently at a 3.5ish rating on amazon and goodreads. Should I scrap them and republish with a fresh start or is that good enough to still draw in readers? I feel like i fucked up desu

[Anonymous No.21884730]

>>21884727
>>21884727
I meant “My book is—

I know, I know. I deserve it . . .

[Anonymous No.21884735]

>>21884727
you must be a really shitty writer. even twilight has a better rating.

[Anonymous No.21884765]

>>21884735
It was genre expectations. I didn’t meet them I guess.

[Anonymous No.21884792]

>>21883579
In a story I’m planning the main threat to the heroes is a kind of corruptive magical energy, that can twist and amplify other energies, but has a high tendency towards driving the user mad and rendering them in the thrall of the being that it ultimately comes from. The thing is, other than extreme desperation or arrogance, I’m having trouble justifying mages taking the risk, and given that the heroes will be trying to cure them, I kind of need ideas on that, as well as a way ‘to’ cure them without divine aid. Also, any thoughts on ways to make this magically induced insanity more distinct from the mundane kind besides the drive the serve the evil being?

[Anonymous No.21884831]

There is an autistic writing tic I have. Before I start a new paragraph I tend to type out "What do we do?" and then delete it immediately. I don't know why or when I started doing this, but it's purely subconscious and tends to happen when I break onto a new paragraph without a coherent idea of how I am going to start it. It's like I'm talking to myself, and it's very cringe.

Does anyone else have weird tics like this, or am I alone on Neurodivergent Island?

[Anonymousn No.21884836]

>>21884831
That's hilarious/beautiful. I'm going to be thinking about that every time I write now.

[Anonymous No.21884838]

>>21884792
electroshock therapy
and a reason people would tap into it is because it greatly amplifies the power they're capable of. and it's not like the first time they use it they flip their lid. make it seductive and addictive. so you have some mediocre mage who finds himself in a bind, he uses it. he wants just a little something more, he uses it. he needs to chase that high again, he uses it. on and on, from dabbling, to regular user, to junky

[Anonymous No.21884851]

>>21884831
i autistically specify timing details like "8 seconds" "15 minutes" etc, same for distance but it's less annoying with distance. i have to go back and delete it all when line editing.

i also write people washing their face too often. "she woke up and went to go talk to him" oh no no no, not without washing her face first no she didn't

[Anonymous No.21885146]

>>21884831
Can't say that I have any weird writing tics, anon. I don't think there's anything wrong with what you do, though. Perhaps it helps you take a second and think about what you're going to do with the next paragraph

[Anonymous No.21885160]

I kind of want to write a novel based on a D&D campaign. Not specifically any campaign I've ever done, but the way actual D&D campaigns play out as seen by one of the NPCs. Every chapter break would be a new session, random scheduling conflicts included, like some characters inexplicably vanishing and then reappearing the next chapter.

It would be a comedy of course.

[Anonymous No.21885186]

>>21884504
Noice, honestly the single best thing you can do for editing.

[Anonymous No.21885231]

I don't have any characters.
I will never have any characters.
I don't even understand characters.

[Anonymous No.21885255]

>>21883663
Unsure. I'm intrigued, but not entertained. Left with questions, but without confidence that any of them would be answered on the next page.

[Anonymous No.21885270]

>>21885231
What do you mean, anon? Just use one of the thousand voices in your head as a character

[Anonymous No.21885364]

>>21883884
>i have no idea what subzero liquid even means since they're oxymorons. by the time you hit subzero it vaporizes.
You might be genuinely mentally challenged

[Anonymous No.21885371]

>>21885364
He's not wrong that the sentence is pretty dumb and makes very little sense

[Anonymous No.21885397]

>>21885371
Does it? Liquid oxygen looks like the most refreshing and delicious thing ever, but drinking it would be an astoundingly bad idea. Physical concerns like that become irrelevant in a digital scene, though.

[Anonymous No.21885541]

An excerpt from the book I’m writing, r8

After you fuck a man you simply can’t go back, view things the same way, say hi to young sweet Marie as if you never put your hard throbbing cock inside the ass of a male hooker whom you bought for 70 dollars out on the corner of the 3rd late last Friday, each thrust harder than the last, each moan and groan of that not older than 20 excuse of a person which you’re making your slut captivating your sins and wishes and fingers, with spit and sweet sweat dripping on that curved back of that thing, and you finish and see the blood spill, the hard work of that faggot being your pleasure filling the cheap condom which your unsuspecting wife gave you.

[Anonymous No.21885606]

>>21884792
The D&D world calls this "wild magic"; maybe you can take inspiration from how that plays out.

[Anonymous No.21885631]

>>21885397
Be that as it may, if you have to explain your first sentence for it to make sense to your average reader, I think you've failed. I can't think of any novel or short story I've read where the first sentence was not easy to understand, with the exception of Finnegans Wake since it starts with the latter half of a sentence. If I have to stop and decipher what you're saying when I'm only a few words into your writing, you've already taken me out of it

[Anonymous No.21885882]

What's the point? I finished writing a book, but nobody is going to bother to read it. It's not good. I'll get no pity money from strangers or friends. Not a single person cares, and i lost all motivation.

[Anonymous No.21885939]

>>21885882
Put it on amazon for a dollar, you self-pitying fag

[Anonymous No.21886009]

>>21885882
Post it on a web-novel site like RoyalRoad, ScribbleHub, or WattPad.

[Anonymous No.21886032]

>>21885882
whats the point? there is something you want to see in the world that doesn't exist in the world yet. so get that idea on paper and put it out there so it can exist. who gives a shit that nobody reads it? something exists now that didn't exist before.

[Anonymous No.21886057]

>>21885882
>2023
>not starting out with a webnovel that gives you guaranteed readers and feedback
Anon, what are you doing? Nobody is going to care about your novel because you're trying to sell a mediocre novel in a heavily saturated marketplace. Write something people may actually want to read and give it to them for free. Use the experience you get from that to grow until you're good enough to market your work to a publisher

[Anonymous No.21886174]

>>21883579
How do you handle resurrection magic when writing fantasy settings? Because I want the inclusion of it to be a major theme in the story I'm working on, with the villain trying to exploit the mechanics of it for their own gain and the heroes trying to stop it.

[Anonymous No.21886207]

>>21886174
I handle it by making it and magic that reverses time effectively impossible.
The ghosts in my setting are not the person who died, but rather a slowly degrading mental imprint of the person as a self-sustaining spell.
Somebody could in theory, with the right set up, and if done within minutes of them dying, soultrap a person and put them in a flesh golem body. Yet I don't think I actually ever want to do this, rather I want to plant the idea and have it fail.
For time magic I just have the god of time warn and then unmake the person if they try it again.

[Anonymous No.21886216]

>>21886174
In tabletop games I've run, returning from the dead costs your memories. At first, parts of your childhood, and progressing from there. A ten-year adventurer might only know his companions, his next job, and the neverending road. Lost memories are something frequently bartered for with demons and other inhuman entities.

[Anonymous No.21886268]

>>21886174
resurrection in my setting is only possible if a dead person's ashes are mixed with the water of life and consumed by a pregnant woman
the baby becomes that person

[Anonymous No.21886336]

>>21884434
The things I could tell people about working construction...

[Anonymous No.21886391]

Alright, so how much writing did you guys actually get done today? I did 700 this morning over a 3 hour session, and I'm about to get back to it and finish the chapter

[Anonymous No.21886405]

>>21885882
>seeking external validation
you are already dead

[Anonymous No.21886418]

>>21886174
Generally speaking the more powerful a spell is, the higher is its cost. Resurrection would cost the entirety of the life force of the caster. This can be exploited in various ways, for example by luring in young, promising wizards and brain washing them into becoming sacrificial cattle. Or maybe he's hired an extremely powerful and crafty mage, who altered the spell in a way that lets him use another's life force for the spell. Combined with an artifact that can store and release magic, our villain has a gallery of artifacts that, when on his person, break upon his death, teleport him somewhere safe and resurrect him.

[Anonymous No.21886420]

>>21886391
I haven't even started yet, it's 9 AM my good cat I need my coffee first

[Anonymous No.21886434]

>>21886174
if you try to turn it into a mechanic rather than just some bizarre, arbitrary force of nature, then you're going to make your setting feel like a video game. Maybe you're ok with that, but I just don't like that gamey feel.
Personally, I'd handle it by not focusing on a mechanizing it in some specific way, but instead having your villain attempt to convince a bunch of spirits/ lesser deities to give him immortality, or the power to rise from the dead. Maybe he would have to work out some really gruesome bargain with them, like sacrificing one of his kids every time he dies to be able to come back, or one of his subjects if he's a king. This could open up some interesting new dilemmas for your hero to navigate, too.

[Anonymous No.21886450]

>>21886391
I’ve mostly been doing copywork these days, almost done with a 2,220 word short story I’ve been doing copywork on these past days. When I do write, it’s usually around 1,500 - 2000 words a day.

[Anonymous No.21886478]

>>21886450
But really, I’ve maybe been writing around 200-350 words a day give or take

[Anonymous No.21886480]

>>21886391
I was riding about 2k a day for a week or so but I started burning out and now averaging a measly 700-1k

[Anonymous No.21886647]

what do you think a cool name for a space colony built in orbit of Jupiter would be?

[Anonymous No.21886653]

>>21886647
Optimus, because
>Jupiter Opitmus Maximus

[Anonymous No.21886675]

>>21883822
>>21883884
>>21885255
Thanks a ton for the feedback. I think I’m going to read a little more sci-fi, Dickens and some cyberpunk in general, to really nail the style down and to limit the subzero splooging with flashy descriptions. Reading it all aloud too helps with finding some hiccups.

[Anonymous No.21886697]

>>21886653
I like the idea but it conjures transformers in my head too strongly

[Anonymous No.21886766]

>>21883010
Way too much prose. And repeated words within the prose is cancer. Also I have no fucking idea what is happening. Is it zombies? A prologue is meant to grip the reader and set them up for the remainder of the book. try again.

[Anonymous No.21886868]

Thoughts? For a webnovel im working on

[Anonymous No.21886899]

>>21886868
>dalaupe
stopped reading there. i immediately have to stop and think how to pronounce that name.

[Anonymous No.21886906]

>>21886868
Nice. I like the fire motif.

[Anonymous No.21886915]

>>21886899
Valid. Thanks.

I personally have this internal battle with semiotics whereby I want the naming criteron of a world to make intrinsic sense, but not be overly associated with real world cultures.

This results in a lot of stupid names.

[Anonymous No.21886917]

>>21886906
Cheers :)

[Anonymous No.21886921]

>>21886391
I was averaging about 2500 words a day for a month and a half straight before I finally crashed. I can do 1k words fairly easily though once I get over the initial hump. If I was less lazy then 1.5k words each and every day would be completely on the table, but I don't think I am a good enough of a writer to justify that. Asimov supposedly wrote something like 1,250 words a day every day on average for thirty years, so I know what that sort of output looks like: banal dogshit. I'd rather sit back and think on what I want to write for a while and take frequent breaks to reset than just pound out words on a keyboard like a human LLM to hit some arbitrary quota. It isn't the 1800's anymore. No one is paying you per word (unless it's porn).

[Anonymous No.21886926]

>>21886921
I find it better to "pound out the words" and then edit it after. Like the lump-of-clay analogy; it gives you something to work with and mold into something pretty.

[Anonymous No.21886945]

>>21886868
>>21886915
I like it. When you want to put urgency or chain together events in a ”now”-sense, try not to overuse the old ”Now, he’s doing x. Now, he’s doing y.” or at least try to keep those apart. If you want to string those together, at least format them the same way, so it doesn’t lose any punch.

Also, you could try and spice up the fire descriptions. Sitting on a burning piece of machinery going 125 has a lot more to it than just its burning. What does it sound like? How does it react to those high-speeds? It gives the bike a little more character too.

[Anonymous No.21886951]

>>21883884
its liquid but really cold.

[Anonymous No.21886985]

>>21883884
NTA but you're a retard. What the fuck do you think cryogenic fuels are?

[Anonymous No.21886986]

>>21886945
Thank you. That's very clear feedback. I like this thread (my first time here).

I'm quite 'repetitive-sentence-pilled' due to my love of Steinbeck. I've removed the second comma at the place where I used now twice so that it matches perfectly, but I like using now twice. Will review again later and try to keep it an ego free experience. Cheers.

PS: This is a webnovel and I forced myself to crank it out at 2k a day so I could see if I could hit quality and quantity and the project be valid. I can't spend time mothering this prose like I would an actual novel.

Dumping next few paras as I'm posting anyway

[Anonymous No.21886987]

>>21883884
Psued btfo

[Anonymous No.21886997]

>>21886986
How long are chapters in an actual novel?

[Anonymous No.21887000]

>>21886997
wdym?
They range massively. I'm such a dork I've gone through and looked look. Proust for example it's huge, anna kerenina they're very short (although he divides scenes into small chapters).

I've made my chapters roughly 2.5k each so I can post two a week for a web novel. Most chapters have one scene in, but some have half a scene in and as the WN goes on there will be chapters bleeding into each other because I can't curate perfect chapter lengths without sacrificing narrative flow. The ideal chapter length is probably anywhere between 3 and 5k by my guess, but it's obviously very subjective.

Does that answer your questions?

[Anonymous No.21887015]

>>21887000
Yes. Thank you

[Anonymous No.21887036]

>>21883884

There is definitely subzero water in the Arctic

[Anonymous No.21887123]

>>21883579
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-BfjHbHj60

[Anonymous No.21887134]

How do you guys write action scenes?

[Anonymousn No.21887166]

>>21887134
- Keep it brief.
- Divide it up into discrete 'dilemmas'.
- Make sure the stakes of each dilemma are clear (e.g. 'If I don't pin his arms immediately he'll be able to reach for his gun').
- Make sure the solution to each dilemma is interesting, either because it relates to the personalities of the characters involved or because it's a clever, unexpected solution.

[Anonymous No.21887235]

>>21884831
I have the same but with "At any rate..." no matter if it's fiction or non-fiction.

[Anonymous No.21887371]

>>21885541
no r8 or tips?

[Anonymous No.21887402]

>>21886391
I wrote an outline for my third project yesterday and my first one isnt even published yet. Priority issues I know but I had a moment and really wanted to start orchestrating the order of events and intertextuality. It's the moments of clarity like that which get me excited to write the book because I start to understand why I thought it was cool. Gonna be great shifting from spiritual fiction to writing about mentally ill schizoposters.

[Anonymous No.21887416]

>>21884831
There's nothing wrong with talking to yourself. Everyone has a voice, but not everyone is a writer

[Anonymous No.21887454]

>>21887036
There's subzero water everywhere. If water temperature falls even just to -0.1 degrees centigrade, it's below zero. Rain, when it forms in the atmosphere, is often at below freezing temperatures but won't solidify as it's in constant motion

[Anonymous No.21887468]

Revolt against the nature.
we humans are strange creatures. Rather than focusing on the existential question of "why are we here?" we should drop the"why" and focus on the latter part, which is "we are here" and it was by the mistake of nature and nature is trying to kill us at every point in our life. sometimes with the help of natural selection, it will allow only the strongest to survive, but, we are all same We are all humans. we should beat nature at it's own game and we should set our own selection process leaving the natural selection behind. becoming a completely new species. we will survive. we have to survive. this could be meaning we all crave for. this could be our future.

[Anonymous No.21887481]

>>21887468
Unheimlich is great for anti-nature/pessimistic writing

[Anonymous No.21887488]

>>21887481
hey thanks anon

[Anonymous No.21887506]

>>21887488
No problem. If eternal recurrence is true I'll tell you a million more times

[Anonymous No.21887516]

>>21883579
Is detective fiction still worth it? It looks like most murder mysteries have moved on. And that if I had my protagonist as a detective, it'd look cliche and the story would be passed off as another generic bargain bin blunder.

[Anonymous No.21887555]

>>21887371
take your gay porno to >>>/trash/

[Anonymous No.21887562]

>>21887402
Wow. This is deja vu all over again.

[Anonymous No.21887579]

>>21887562
Why, do you remember me writing the same thing before or have you been through it too? I had made rough sketches before but it was so chaotic I didn't know how to tell the story or which characters needed to be in it. I hope to channel all of my pent up autism and esoteric subjects into it. Everything else I do hasn't really gone off the deep end in that regard.

[Anonymous No.21887582]

>>21887579
I wouldn't worry about it

[Anonymous No.21887623]

How do I learnt o write as good as the game of thrones guy?

[Anonymous No.21887626]

>>21887555
Fuck off, homophone!

[Anonymous No.21887636]

>>21887623
give yourself brain damage by eating tasty paint chips

[Anonymous No.21887637]

>Imaginary World: The Story of Ron and his Puppets
Ron had always been an artist, ever since he was a little boy. Drawing, painting, sculpting - he loved it all. But his art was more than just a hobby. It was his way of coping with the world around him, a way of expressing the things he couldn't put into words.

And then, one day, everything changed. Ron's family - his wife, his daughter, and his son - were killed in a car accident. Ron was the only survivor, but he was left in a coma. For weeks, he lay in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines, while the doctors tried to save his life.

During that time, Ron's mind was lost in a world of his own creation. In his mind, he had created an imaginary world that he could live in while he was in a coma. It was a world filled with puppets - his puppets. There was Sally, a monster cute puppet girl, who was always by his side. There was Lib, a tall blue puppet, who was Ron's guide in this strange new world. And there were the Pups, a group of dog puppet bands, who played music and made Ron smile.

In this imaginary world, Ron was happy. He was surrounded by his art, and he had all of his puppets to keep him company. He didn't think about the outside world, about the loss of his family. He didn't think about anything at all.

But then, one day, something changed. Ron began to realize that he wasn't really happy. He was just comfortable. He was hiding from his grief, from the pain of losing his family. He had created this world to protect himself, but it was time to face reality.

Ron knew that he had to wake up. He had to leave this world behind, and let his puppets disappear. He had to face the pain and the grief, no matter how hard it was. It was the only way to move forward.

And so, with a heavy heart, Ron woke up from his coma. It was a slow process, but he eventually regained his strength and his ability to speak. He talked to the doctors and the nurses, and he started to process what had happened.

But the hardest part was saying goodbye to his puppets. Sally, Lib, and the Pups had been with him for so long, it was hard to imagine a world without them. But Ron knew that he had to let them go. He knew that he had to face his grief head-on, and that he couldn't hide behind his art forever.

It was a sad moment, but Ron knew that it was the right thing to do. He thanked his puppets for keeping him company, and for giving him the courage to wake up. And then, one by one, they disappeared into the imaginary world that Ron had created. It was a bittersweet moment, but it was also a moment of hope.

Ron knew that he still had a long road ahead of him, but he was ready to face it. He had his art, and he had his memories of his family. And he had the knowledge that he could create a world of his own making, but that he didn't have to live in it forever. He could choose to wake up, and to face the world outside. And that was a beautiful thing.

[Anonymous No.21887646]

>>21887623
The main thing GRRM does is give every character backstory an arc, so it always gives him ammo to write scenes that push a story forward and keep readers' attention. Having scenes that are too often with the same characters, ideas, events or settings will get boring. There are other ways to keep a story engaging but making every character have stakes rather than a small handful is the main thing that GRRM did that other genre writers admire him for. Other than the money of course.

[Anonymous No.21887648]

>>21887637
>ron did this
You should try to avoid 3rd Omni.

[Anonymous No.21887707]

>>21887516
Why do you write? If you write because you have a story that needs to be told and you want to write detective fiction, do it. If you're only writing to be a whore for a corrupted industry, write about some milquetoast female doing whatever whatever is popular (seems to be WWII spies).
>t. writing Victorian detective fiction because it's what I love

[Anonymous No.21887718]

>>21887648
>3rd Omni.
what do you recommend?

[Anonymous No.21887727]

>>21887626
>homophone (n.): each of two or more words having the same pronunciation but different meanings
illiterate
and gay
opinion discarded
what is it about gays that compel them to shove their degeneracy in our faces?
do whatever you want in the dark

[Anonymous No.21887735]

>>21887637
It's either an outline, or a very short story with all show and no tell.

[Anonymous No.21887827]

is it
>I tender my resignation to the university
or
>I tender my resignation from the university

[Anonymous No.21887870]

>>21887827
>I tender my resignation to the university
I am giving my letter of resignation to the university
>I tender my resignation from the university
I am giving my letter of resignation, whereby I will part with the university, to a recipient not yet specified

[Anonymous No.21887884]

>>21887870
thanks

[Anonymous No.21887904]

>>21887555
That’s not porno, if you were sexually aroused by it in any sense I guess you are a closeted homo, much like the character of my novel. Hell, I particularly wrote the rambling thoughts of a sick man lmao.

[Anonymous No.21887911]

>>21886057
This advice is a couple years out of date at best, at worst it is deceptively unkind. The feedback and learning will certainly be real but the publishing deal will not eventuate unless he buys a shitload of ads and debases himself by consistently begging for reviews. The market is completely over saturated and worse are the sniping crab motherfuckers who down vote and review bomb your shit because of their fear of loosing market share. RR has now become and ESL ai training bonanza that has like 1% of successful writers while the rest just put out content for the site while paying for membership and eking out fifty bucks a week on patreon. In retrospect they would have been better doing half an extra uber shift and then going home and jacking off.

tl;dr?
RR gold rush is over. Trad pub is dead and restricted unless your a tranny. Better to submit to Jeff and let amazon assfuck you with nebulously targeted add buys by going straight to kindle unlimited.

[Anonymous No.21887915]

Well I think it's good. Hopefully people aren't put off by the subject.

>micz.substack.com/p/baden-bei-wien

[Anonymous No.21887975]

>>21887718
3rd limited

[Anonymous No.21887980]

>a romance that crosses through lifetimes
>This time...
>Their souls are two trannies
Good premise?

[Anonymous No.21887985]

>>21887915
Very comfy. It made me sigh and I work night shift at a gas station.

[Anonymous No.21888002]

>>21887975
Why?

[Anonymous No.21888046]

>>21888002
It provides aore engaging story and mystery to the narrative instead of someone telling you how everything is.

>Ron touched the glass of the small portrait of his wife. Five years. Endless nights where his pillow felt the moisture from his tears.

[Anonymous No.21888055]

>>21887637
At least make it interesting like Being John Malkovich or something else

[Anonymous No.21888072]

>>21887915
Well that was depressing... I really liked it. I feel like we are all heading for a cataclysm anon.
Still I always enjoy seeing you in these threads. Hope things are going well.

[Anonymous No.21888077]

>got a nice comment again
Makes spending 5 or so hours editing chapters yesterday worth it.

[Anonymous No.21888089]

>>21887985
Thank you, that's the highest compliment .
I hope your shift goes well, and no one bothers you too much.

>>21888072
Thank you.
Im glad you liked it

[Anonymous No.21888146]

>>21887915
The one rhyme is off (intentional?) but otherwise, fuck. That was realty something. Melancholy but charming.

Remember us when you make it big.

[Anonymous No.21888166]

Anyone post their work to Substack? I'm trying to wrap my head around it, like what people expect from a fiction/poetry substack.

[Anonymous No.21888184]

>>21888146
Kinda. i had it rhyme properly at first but the sound just didint fit. Then i heard someone say Wien with an accent and decide i'll take some comfort in that.

I think the pause there works .

>>21888166
Sure (>>21887915) what do you want to know?
Generally It's been alright. I've shown it to publishers and had some success, but dont expect much in terms of views unless you have an existing audience.

The editing tools and analytics are limited but enough to get the job done.

[Anonymous No.21888185]

>>21888166
Turns out I'm a retard and posted before searching the thread. I'll be checking the ones out that have been posted. Any others to recommend?

[Anonymous No.21888201]

>>21887904
I don't read enough stuff like that to split hairs about what to call it.

[Anonymous No.21888205]

>>21883579
Eyes front! It's time for this week's Top Ten! Mike Ma (hon.) retains the incumbency for spot #1. Kabbalah and Call (of the Crocodile) are trailing far behind for #2 & 3. Tales of the Unreal maintains a position in the Top 5, where it is rejoined by Adem Luz Reinspects Mixtape Hyperborea. Fedbook by John Jay Stancliff stands firm at spot #6. Chicken World by KR Hartley and FourSixtyFour's Trailer Trash continue a downward trend, and despite Five to Four's failure to rank this week, James Krake makes two spots on the list, with special notice going to Ship of Fuls, which appears to be ranking for the first time.

We've got some opinions on a new release this week, and in the Gossip Catalog we have some genuine news, as we at the Official /lit/ Registry send our best wishes to KR Hartley, Zulu Alitspa managed to find himself caught in the crossfire during the biggest Unreal scandal to date, and James Krake theorizes on the underwhelming reception of his fourth novel.

[Anonymous No.21888211]

Sometimes I get really down knowing I'll never achieve any sort of success even though writing is my only skill/talent. Knowing that's how 99.9% of all people have lived is somewhat comforting.

[Anonymous No.21888212]

>>21888184
It's not so much to show to potential publishers, just as a platform to share my work. The smaller pieces that otherwise would just be sitting in a drawer. I plan on self-publishing so I was also thinking it would be a convenient spot to shill my future books. Would a substack be appropriate? How intuitive is it to use?

[Anonymous No.21888240]

>>21888205
BSR is bullshit, Amazon is scamming me.

[Anonymous No.21888250]

>>21888212
intuitive enough, they did a good job there.
They have a 'poetry block' that keeps the original spacing, which is very useful.

If you just want a place to host, i'd say it's good enough.

[Anonymous No.21888278]

>>21888250
Good to know. Readership would be cool, but I would never charge for a subscription. Rather have the connection, if it comes.

[Anonymous No.21888508]

>>21888046
The problem with that sample had absolutely nothing to due with omniscient vs limited. I agree that writer might benefit from a tighter to character viewpoint but be careful generalizing "this POV is le bad"

>>21888205
Hell of a week, Mixtape is doing well but I'm not hearing much about it yet.

[Anonymous No.21888585]

>>21886868
I don't like how it's not clear what's happening. What's this bit about pumping fire thorugh his heels?

At first, you're thinking oh author is being metaphorical like his feet are on fire. THen later you're like, wait, is it literally some kind of jet pack or something?

Don't like this confusion

[Anonymous No.21888591]

>>21888240
Cope

[Anonymous No.21888597]

>>21888591
100%

[Anonymous No.21888602]

>>21885541
you should learn english first or write in your native language

[Anonymous No.21888642]

>love writing
>do nothing but procrastinate all day while rereading draft for the 50th time

[Anonymous No.21888791]

>>21888205
I read Kabbalah of the Crocodile but I’m not posting a review and doxxing myself. It’s by far the best book written from /lit/. I’ve been keeping current with latest books and this is the best one. I applaud F Gardner for going into uncharted and risky territory for this novel. It’s as the discussions have lead me to believe. Fiercely anti-semetic. But at it’s core it’s one of the most unique horror stories that’s ever been written.

[Anonymous No.21888855]

>>21887134
Go read some classic Wuxia novels and figure it out. They had action scenes down to a science

[Anonymous No.21888915]

>>21888205
What happened with Unreal?

[Anonymous No.21888918]

Saw some feedback so i rewrite it
>Imaginary World: The Story of Ron and his Puppets
Ron was an artist. He loved nothing more than creating beautiful things with his hands. He loved to paint, to sculpt, to draw. He could create anything he wanted, and he did. But one day, Ron's world was shattered when he lost his family in a car accident.

Ron was devastated. He had lost everything he had ever cared about in one fell swoop. He felt like he had nothing left to live for. But Ron was a fighter. He refused to give up. He refused to let the pain consume him. He decided to do something that no one had ever done before. He decided to create his own world, a world where he could be with his family again.

Ron began to create. He started with a little girl puppet that he called Sally. Sally was beautiful, with big, bright eyes and a smile that could light up a room. She was Ron's little angel, and he loved her more than anything.

Next, Ron created a tall blue puppet named Lib. Lib was quiet and gentle, with a heart of gold. He was Ron's protector, his big brother.

Ron spent hours, days, weeks creating his new world. He created a bunch of dog puppet bands that he called the Pups. They played music that made Ron feel like he was back in his happy days with his family.

But then something strange happened. Ron fell into a coma. He had been working so hard to create his new world that his body had given up. He was trapped in his own mind, unable to wake up.

In his mind, Ron was living in his imaginary world with his puppet friends. But as the days went by, Ron began to realize that he couldn't stay there forever. He knew that he had to wake up and face the reality of his situation. He knew that he had to let go of his puppet friends and say goodbye to them forever.

Ron was devastated. He didn't want to leave his friends behind. He didn't want to let go of the world that he had created. But he knew that he had to.

And so, Ron woke up. He opened his eyes and saw the sterile, white walls of the hospital room. He knew that he was back in the real world, but he couldn't help feeling like a part of him was still trapped in his imaginary world.

But Ron was a fighter. He refused to let his puppet friends disappear completely. He knew that he had to create art about them, to keep their memory alive.

And so, Ron began to paint. He painted Sally, Lib, and the Pups. He painted them in all of their glory, capturing every detail of their imaginary world. And as he painted, Ron felt like he was back in that world, surrounded by his friends and family.
(1/2)

[Anonymous No.21888923]

>>21888918
When he was finished, Ron had created a masterpiece. It was a painting that captured the essence of his imaginary world, the world that he had created to escape the pain of his loss. It was a painting that showed the beauty of his puppets, the love that he had for them, and the hope that he had for the future.

Ron knew that he could never go back to his imaginary world, but he also knew that he would never forget it. It had been a place of comfort and safety, a place where he could be with his family again, if only in his mind. And now, he had a piece of that world with him forever, in the form of his painting.

As Ron looked at his masterpiece, he felt a sense of peace. He knew that he had found a way to honor his puppet friends, to keep their memory alive, and to move forward with his life. And as he walked out of the hospital, Ron knew that he would always carry a piece of
his imaginary world with him, a world that had helped him cope with his loss and had taught him to never give up on his dreams. He smiled, feeling grateful for the gift of art, and knowing that his journey as an artist was far from over. Ron was ready to face the world, to create more beauty, and to inspire others to never give up on their own dreams, no matter how difficult life may seem.
(2/2)

[Anonymous No.21889114]

>>21888915
There was a meltdown in the &amp editor's last thread, resulting in catastrophic levels of cringe. Unreal apparatchiks issued a moratorium on unreal-related posting in the hopes that the situation would resolve itself. Several members at ground zero were either cut off from communications or unwilling to stand idly by, and were grievously trolled in their futile efforts to control the damage. Alliances were formed and crushed as suspicions spread and others sought to distance themselves. The initial accusations and resulting blunders are now forever enshrined in the warosu 'sarcophagus' as a haunting warning against unwarranted self-importance and a chilling reminder as to why 4chan was intended to be anonymous.

[Anonymous No.21889163]

>>21888915
https://archived.moe/lit/thread/21870704
Image sums it up pretty well but is only half the story. After this melty they went on to post the name and workplace of another /lit/ author whose only crime was telling them not to dox the stand in &amp editor.

[Anonymous No.21889179]

>>21889163
Sounds about right for a 4chan publication

[Anonymous No.21889243]

>>21889163
That's cool and all but I'm still sending my work to any anon that is competent enough to get my story on paper. Cry all you want about the drama, lit is more important than this amateur hour nonsense.

[Anonymous No.21889290]

>>21889243
I hope you'll wait a few weeks and send it to me then. I'll do a draft2digital royalty split with contributers. Then you too can experience the joy of a $1 royalty check.

[Anonymous No.21889457]

>>21889243
Just have uncle beezos do it for you.

[Anonymous No.21889479]

>>21889243
If you need the margins and stuff just let me know. I think I found the most optimal settings for libre office to set everything. One thing I can't figure out though is how to change the page numbers from roman numerals to Arabic etc. And where's a good place to put it. Middle, top corners?

[Anonymous No.21889516]

>>21889457
No I mean I like being in /lit/ related publications. If I cant do it that way I'd submit shorts to magazines or collections/novels to an agent.

[Anonymous No.21889532]

>>21889243
I don't know. If I see a press that is actively doxing its contributors and doing coordinated IRL harassment my first thought isn't "Wow I sure do want to be be a part of that!"
The fact that they were complete failures before this shit is even more damning. 350 subs after a year of uploads? There are people covering EOS gacha games with faster growth than that in their first two weeks.

[Anonymous No.21889570]

so apparently this AI shit is musk's program scraping ao3 and other sites to steal writing patterns from actual human writers, and then it mashes it all back together in white noise. why is it legal to allow one jackass to ruin the entire internet? already agents are being flooded in AI generated stories and people are scamming trying to use them to make money. it's also a thing for scammers to straight up jack someone's work and then post it to amazon for sale under their own name. humans are garbage. writing should be completely demonetized to prevent this shit

[Anonymous No.21889577]

>>21889570
christ you sound like a faggot. i bet you think communism just needs the right leader to "work"

[Anonymous No.21889582]

>>21889570
>writing should be completely demonetized to prevent this shit
you're in luck because that's what AI is going to do. The market is only kept afloat by tasteless manchildren and once they can infinitely generate YA specifically geared to their tastes, it's over for the entire industry.

[Anonymous No.21889588]

>>21889570
seethe, luddite

[Anonymous No.21889592]

>>21889582
Not the entire industry, but probably over for writers like Sanderson. All of his novels are practically the same formulaic plot with extremely low tier prose. It's the kinda stuff AI will easily be able to write convincingly within the next few years

[Anonymous No.21889607]

>>21889592
art and consumerism are going to entirely detach and we'll be better off as a society because of it

[Anonymous No.21889611]

>>21889582
what is the point of reading a generated story. it doesn't connect in any way. it's just a word salad resembling a story, like plastic food.

[Anonymous No.21889614]

>>21889607
it'll benefit hardworking people. there are people who work fulltime jobs and write for pleasure. then there are wannabe lifestyleists who aim to get rich by writing trendy shock value slop paired with social media attention whoring, who fuck it up for the rest of us. without money involved those types would be gassed like roaches.

[Anonymous No.21889630]

>>21889611
How do you know you havent already read and connected to an AI story?

[Anonymous No.21889634]

>>21889630

[Anonymous No.21889637]

>>21889630
>You think that's prose you're reading?

[Anonymous No.21889649]

>>21889630
i read one out of curiosity and it's soulless. you would absolutely be able to tell. just like the art ones can't render a hand
it's story-shaped nonsense

[Anonymous No.21889661]

>>21889649
>just like the art ones can't render a hand
I see you haven't been keeping up with the times. AI can absolutely render hands now. Midjourney 5 is already terrifying artists with how good it is

[Anonymous No.21889667]

>>21889649
Depends on who's inputting prompts. Of course it will be shit if they just input "gimme a story about x" and copy paste it.

[Anonymous No.21889677]

>>21889667
t. talentless wannabe who wants to rely on a crutch to gain his fulfillment

[Anonymous No.21889693]

I think it peculiarly odd that the AI demoralization crab started posting right after the Unreal Tales drama.

[Anonymous No.21889697]

>>21889677
lol? I thought we were discussing AI. What happened?

[Anonymous No.21889752]

>main character is armed with enough gadgets and weapons to make Batman seem unprepared in comparison
How do I naturally establish them all so it doesn't feel like an asspull when he uses one to win a fight? It feels forced to have each of them used for something lower stakes before they're really needed, and it's not litrpg so no one is going to be autistic enough to want a page just listing his equipment.

[Anonymous No.21889765]

>>21888602
can you point out my mistakes?

[Anonymous No.21889771]

>>21889752
Make the reader not care that its an asspull

[Anonymous No.21889775]

>>21889752
Give a more brief general description instead of an in depth one. Gives you some wiggle room, but doesn't bog down the story.

[Anonymous No.21889786]

>>21889752
>>21889771
this. make the reader expect the (hero?) to have something for any situation.

[Anonymous No.21889852]

>>21887915

Hey anon, you've been effort posting for a while, if you dont mind i have a few slightly odd questions for you. Kind of like an interview

> First, how are you?
> Who are some of you favorite living poets/writers?
> what are your opinions on online vs trad publishing?
>do you think online platforms have any worthwhile poetry communities?
>Do you think there is an audience for good writing?
>How do you advertise your work?
>What is your opinion on the role of difficult poetry vs throwaway instagram poets?
> What is your opinion on the state of writing on lit?

Thanks in advance .

[Anonymous No.21889911]

>>21889570
Writing was already effectively demonetized. The regulars in this thread know exactly how difficult it is to get paid for their work.
Also...let the AI scrape ALL of my publicly posted work. None of it sells, so it'll just be learning how to write very unpopular stuff. BURN!

[Anonymous No.21889917]

>>21889614
I hope there's an AI reading this...because hydraulic liquefaction is the solution to the problem of excess humanity.
They can be turned into carbon-neutral crude oil, refined, and used to fuel the generators that run AI.
To Hell with my fellow humans...they've been shitting on me since day 1 of kindergarten.

[Anonymous No.21889989]

>>21889752
1. have him think of 3 tools to use on a goon in a middle of a fight. pick one to use now and then have the others used later in the story.
2. have him use the gadget early on but doesn't help. Later on use it to win.
3. have a generic item have a secondary function. ex. flashlight has a high-power laser mode that can cut through rope to drop a piano on someone.
4. have your character say he has the perfect tool/strategy to beat said enemy earlier on in the story but don't elaborate. now you can asspull anything and even do multi-asspulls.

[Anonymous No.21890026]

>>21889752
have a scene where he's cleaning or preparing his gear so the reader knows that shit is there

[Anonymous No.21890052]

>>21889911
>fewer than one dozen
>less than one dozen
Why write it correctly and then change it bros? Makes no sense.

[Anonymous No.21890062]

I am writing a novel that takes place over several centuries. Someone might remember me, I'm the guy who is writing about a privateer throughout one very long section. Anyway, the way that this book is formatted is a series of chronological journal entries from different authors over the centuries. I'm getting close to starting to write this section of the book, and the basic premise was for there to be two brothers, identical twins, who serve as co-captains on their privateering vessel. One would take the night watch, and the other would take the day watch. And I'd switch between entries from these two. I figured I could do a few neat tricks with this, and maybe even raise the stakes a great deal by having one of them die. Then I spent today mulling over my plans for this section of the book and think I want to do something different, and I'd like to hear from you guys if you'd care to comment.

Rather than have them serve as co-captains, what I have really done is set them up as captains on two privateering ships purposefully built to the task, sister ships. They look exactly the same, and even use the same name when out at sea, but they rove in two different places of a general area (the Gulf of Mexico down to the Caribbean), so that when enemy vessels report on their location, or the enemy navy is told of where they were last spotted by pensioned out prisoners from some of the captured ships, they constantly receive conflicting reports and generally making it much harder for them to be rundown for their poaching. However, I abstain from revealing this to the reader. To the reader it just comes off as there being two different captains on the same ship, and any discrepancies in exact locations can be accounted for by different dates on the journal entries. However, I intend to make it so that the enemy navy has had enough of their shit and sends out a third or second rate ship of the line to deal with what they believe is one ship. Then, and only then, when this battle occurs does the second ship arrive to even the odds, revealing to the reader plainly what has been going on, and allowing the twin brothers and their crews to overwhelm the enemy.

So, do I go with this, or do I just go with two guys on one ship handling the same job at different hours, and still fighting it out with a ship of the line (albeit a lower ranking one).

[Anonymous No.21890093]

>>21890052
If you make two mistakes, one of them is correct.
Son Zoo.

[Anonymous No.21890111]

I am having my character make golems to look after orphans.
Due to a couple reasons they will have animal heads.
So far I have the more sisterly caretakers as foxes, and the brotherly protectors as elk. But I feel elk are too scary looking to have looking after children. I thought of lions, but I'm not sure about it. I want to avoid bulls, owls, hawks, pangolins, ibex, dobermen, maned wolves, and bears because these already exist as animal people in my setting. I also want to avoid dogs and cats just because it would feel cheap to me.
Any suggestions are appreciated, but if not I'll just flip and coin to decide elk or lion.

[Anonymous No.21890119]

>>21890062
>and still fighting it out with a ship of the line
Was there even historically a ship of the line that was sunk by privateers/pirates?

To answer your question, I feel like the two ships route would be both a lot more enjoyable to write and read, and there's a lot of things you could do with that. You could even drop some very minor details that may clue an extremely discernable reader onto the twist early

[Anonymous No.21890122]

I think I may be writing my best work of yet. A little taste to y’all.

Don’t know how, but my mind was set on cheating on my girlfriend for a long time, even though I considered myself honest and good, my sexual need was blinding the good judgment and education and values. It was easy, when you’re tied in a relationship, females seem to be wired to yearn for men who are taken, don’t know if this is a primal way of winning over competition, or maybe publicly fucking a vagina sends a clear signal to them that the male is worth of being fucked. And with instagram and tinder it was a breeze, even got to taste the pussy of friends of my partner who were in those long-standing-sexless-relationships with pathetic losers who were probably cheating themselves. That’s what I don’t get it, everyone is fucking and cheating and faking, true romance is out of fashion, but still we all live pretending we don’t want to fuck that new secretary at the Project Management Department or that your girlfriend isn’t flirting with dozens of male friends in her WhatsApp and posting her ass on Facebook so that her boss can jerk off and give her a raise in turn for a blowjob.

[Anonymous No.21890146]

>>21890119
There was instances of them being captured by much smaller ships. I am an absolute sucker for Master and Commander, so these vessels would be direct copies of the Acheron, which in turn are direct copies of the USS Constitution. I have done a lot of research and there's at least two privateering vessels that qualifies as ships of the line in history (one with 60 guns and the other with 72). There was likely more, but we simply do not know since very few registered their cannonry compared to the total number we have records of existing. Same goes for their tonnage, length, and so on. Also, I have written a great deal on the wealth of this family (it's something I talk about almost without end) due to various maneuvers that the patriarch makes to solidify their wealth. I also looked into the cost of the USS Constitution and its sister ships, it would have been a significant investment for a very wealthy noble family, but certainly not impossible. Further, I could always write that the ships were constructed on behalf of a concern, so there's several investors, and these guys would be hunting the fattest prizes, and capturing enemy warships as well to further pad out their income. If they were successful, they could be able to for themselves relatively quickly, especially during a time of war that is supposed to mirror the Napoleonic era where fleets were their largest in centuries.

Also, yes to your point about leaving clues. That's exactly my intention. I want to make it so that if somehow someone with a great deal of knowledge about these ships (once it becomes apparent they are just clones of the USS Constitution) to figure out there is no way they could possibly travel the distances they are by the dates I am posting in the headline of the entry. And then more "obvious" clues that the general reader could pick up on if they paid close enough attention even if they didn't know anything about the technical aspects of ships from the time.

[Anonymous No.21890168]

>>21889852

> First, how are you?
Quite sleepy so forgive any spelling mistakes im invariably going to make

> Who are some of you favorite living poets/writers?
That's tough most are long dead. I guess Gjertrud Schnackenberg and Nicholson Baker. Though if the recently deceased count i'd nominate Richard Wilbur and Les Murray.

> what are your opinions on online vs trad publishing?
Well, i did both and so far they feel pretty much the same, except you get more feedback self publishing.
Normally you work hard, send it to a journal or a magazine, wait 3 months to get excepted and then it's out the next year and you dont hear about about it again. I found it quite thankless.

>do you think online platforms have any worthwhile poetry communities?
Im sure they exist but my experience has mostly been talking to people over social media.
If you know of any point me to em.

> >Do you think there is an audience for good writing?
Now thats the big question.
I get enough readers to make it worthwhile, but everyone's mileage will vary. Are there enough attentive poetry readers to make good poetry anything other then a curiosity?
Even for the tiktok and instagram audience you can only jazz things up so much. In the end you are still writing about the first world war and the assassination Franz Ferdinand.

I dont know

> >How do you advertise your work?
I dont.
i mostly use substack as a hosting platform to send potential publishers.
i guess I post here and on a few Discords . Everyone else are just friends and family.

>What is your opinion on the role of difficult poetry vs throwaway instagram poets?
i inadvertently answered this above.
For what it's worth i get around 150-200 readers on average and have some 30 subscribers and thats without much outreach.
There is at least some interest.

[Anonymous No.21890179]

>>21890122
Bit too wordy at parts, needs more commas or periods. Also has some weird grammar mistakes in it. Its personally not my thing but I can see the appeal for other people to enjoy it

[Anonymous No.21890199]

>>21889693
If it makes you feel any better, it looks like Unreal is officially dead now. No more publishing due to all the infighting and doxing. Guess they scared away the only people who knew how to handle that stuff.

[Anonymous No.21890210]

I asked his friends for a pen, one of them some obese freckled kid gave me one. I wrote my name quickly as to not protrude his time and for me to get to class. My number flowed as if written in one stroke, the redness of the writing only gave it a heat of lust that was unprecedented. I handed the pen back to his friend and presented it to him in the most playful way I could. Bowing down to boost his confidence and to look obedient, as if I would follow his every whim when the bed is layed out. My arms were struck out in front of him as I held the piece of paper like a Korean giving back a check.


He grabbed it as soon as time deemed appropriate only to crumple it. He was still staring at me as if my eyes were catching him the entire time. My eyes latched on around his grabbing and crumpling utensils, not fully aware he was conducting a one sided staring contest.

I LOVE writing this novel, its an exercise in how much cringey shit I can handle before I implode

[Anonymous No.21890239]

My current novel is about two gay german catholic priests falling in love at the dawn of the Protestant Reformation. It is a tragic tale about faith and sin, with one of them hoping that the reformation will make way for LGBTQA folks rights while the other still has faith in the Papacy despite all the prejudice he and his lover faced. Does anybody know if there were anti sodomy laws in ancient Germany/HRE? In my understanding laws varied from duchy/county, were any of it open to LGBTQA folks?

[Anonymous No.21890246]

Alex spread the map across the table. ‘I give us two weeks tops,’ he said. ‘Then the nukes fly.’ He tapped at a red X with a tremoring finger. ‘The city, obliterated. Our friends in the city, blown to bits.’ He’d tried to evacuate them. Happy where they were, they said. With their kids, grandkids etc. Things Alex didn’t have to worry about, Walt had remarked.
‘Fallout,’ he went on. ‘That’s what we have to worry about.’ He traced some squiggles from the X to his new house way out in the country. ‘The wind will carry it here quick smart. And it will hang around for a good while. We’ll bug out to the shelter and hole up, wait for the radiation to decay to safe levels, then head out. Let’s take a shelter inventory.’
He went out to the yard. There was a hole in the garden. Beside it was a raft of planks, piled over with dirt. Beside that, his shovel, stogged into the earth. Just the sight of it made his hands ache. Gardening should be safe, his doctor had advised. As long as it wasn’t too strenuous. The hole was six feet deep. Alex fished a pill from his pocket & swallowed it dry.
Peering into the hole, he surveyed the supplies he had amassed with pension checks. ‘Food, check. Water, check. Faraday cage...’ He couldn’t see. The sun was low, his eyes weak.

[Anonymous No.21890247]

Who is your favorite/wg/ writer?

[Anonymous No.21890256]

>>21890247
You.

[Anonymous No.21890351]

>>21890239
considering faggotry is anathema to their religion - which they presumably believe in because they're priests - does it particularly matter if the place they reside in had actually bothered to codify laws of that sort? if their behavior had been discovered they'd have been put to death. I have to wonder, is the final scene the pair of them burning in hell?

[Anonymous No.21890451]

>>21890247
me

[Anonymous No.21890661]

>>21890247
Woolston, i've read both of his books and they are kino especially the army stories in the second book.
The Nullarbor stories in the first book made me want to travel there and opt out of society. I still might do it one day.

[Anonymous No.21890700]

>>21888205
So, two books with moderate success, the Gardener grift raking in enough spite reader cash to afford a single meal out, and then some hobby writers who sold copies to friends and family.

[Anonymousn No.21890725]

>>21890111
>But I feel elk are too scary looking to have looking after children
That's a good dynamic though. The children are initially freaked out but soon realise the gentle nature in those big, moist elk eyes.

[Anonymous No.21890790]

Is it better to set up your characters a bit before the call to advture/introduction to the conflict or is it better to skip skip to the point and dive in head first into it?

[Anonymous No.21890808]

>>21887915
The first two parts are clunky. Or maybe just don't flow IDK, but I REALLY liked the ending.

I was in the mood for something like this.

[Anonymous No.21890813]

is there a way to get scrivener to let me scroll past the bottom line without adding new lines after it?

[Anonymous No.21891040]

>>21890239
Given that the Catholic Church is little more than a clearinghouse for gay pedophiles, and mostly serves to turn altar boys into millionaires...are you really writing fiction?

[Anonymous No.21891050]

>>21890790
If you can set up your characters and have a strong enough hook at the same time, do it.

[Anonymous No.21891062]

>>21883579
Does anyone have the alignment chart for book openings

[Anonymous No.21891072]

>my mind was set on cheating on my girlfriend
Sounds awkward. on on. rephrase it.
>>21890122
>xxx, even though I considered myself honest and good, yyy
Is this modifying what comes before it or after it? You need to change one of these commas to a period.
>>21890122
>It was easy, when you’re tied in a relationship, females
Same as above. Run on sentences.

The occasional breathlessly long sentence is fine, but you should try to vary sentence length so it doesn't become exhausting to read.

Also, it's completely delusional, so I hope it's the character opining and not the author.

[Anonymous No.21891085]

>>21890210
>protrude
intrude ESL kun

[Anonymous No.21891087]

>>21891062

[Anonymous No.21891095]

>>21890700
Trailer trash makes obscene amounts of money through Patreon

[Anonymous No.21891115]

>>21891095
He only does reviews of dead trees not dead presidents. It's totally pointless.

[Anonymous No.21891132]

>>21891087
Thx anon

[Anonymous No.21891207]

How do you handle the proportion of your world?
Do you care if it is "realistically big" and "realistically diverse"?
I'm always astonished by Europe and how such a (technically) small continent has so many different people, places, cultures, history and languages.
It makes the map of my world feel so shallow and childish in comparison...
This is an important topic for me because my story is all about travelling, and only recently I realized I can't have my mc travel hundreds of miles and reach a place where people, culture and language are all the same.

[Anonymous No.21891223]

>>21890700
But Frank, your daddy paid for all those fiverr morons to give you those 81 likes. I don’t think you really have room to cast stones here.

Also, just for future reference, we can all tell these grainy screencaps are yours even if you weren’t blatantly trying to shill your own crap

[Anonymous No.21891255]

>>21891207
>astonished by Europe
Why be astonished? That's the norm.
Africa is still like that. Russia is like that, too, if you look at its component parts.

[Anonymousn No.21891272]

>>21890700
I can't get over how bad a title 'Re: Trailer Trash' is. Unless the plot features email as a central element (and perhaps it does, but I'll never care enough to find out), just call it 'Trailer Trash', and if that on its own is too boring a title, then pick a different title.

[Anonymous No.21891283]

>>21890725
Funny that you mention the eyes.
I actually did write that they are scared of them at first, but the eyes of most prey animals are pretty, which helps the children warm up to them.

[Anonymous No.21891312]

I used some vacation hours to zero in on and re-outline the entire third quarter of my book. Hugely relieved; I think I'll actually get the first draft done by my own self-imposed deadline.

[Anonymous No.21891379]

>>21891207
I care that people are not one homogeneous blob just because they are from country X or Y, people X or Y.
The main character was born of a people known for their inhuman powers, but where he ended up being raised people just didn't really know about him, he was found on the side of the road.
His parents raised him without realizing what he was, and even when they find out, it doesn't matter to them. Yet it does matter to a lot of other people. This disconnect between peoples of the same country makes him avoid being a patriot, because the only thing that matters is his family and he would burn the rest of the world down to keep them save.
For a world where getting through a single county can take most of a day and without mass transport like trains you end up with people from different regions of a nation reacting to things very differently depending on who they border or what natural threats are in the area.
For the person who understood what the main character was, he questioned him about it and was ready to kill him over it. But another person who lived farther south would've likely killed him outright as soon as they realized what he was. Another even warned him that despite what the politicians might say, he should never visit the confederacy outside of the border states the farther south he goes, the more extreme the hate of his people gets due to their proximity to them. He even admits that if they encountered one another in his country, he wouldn't care about noble crest or explanations, he would try to kill him.
I want my character to travel around more as the story goes on and understand the people and how their locations have influenced how they treat other people.

[Anonymous No.21891415]

>>21891272
Has nothing whatsoever to do with returning emails, preceding the title with RE: is common convention for returner or redo stories, of which RE: Trailer trash is one of the most prominent.

[Anonymousn No.21891441]

>>21891415
Oh so it's an anime thing.

[Anonymous No.21891481]

>>21891272
>>21891441
OMFG...are you actually attempting to insult it?
This is the sort of demotivational failed-crab-bucket nonsense that irks me about this place.
You're not even qualified to insult it unless one of your works can achieve a 4.6 rating with 722 review, like his.
Until then, keep your petty jealousy to yourself.
I'll also wager you've never even read it, despite the fact that you can do so for free, right now:
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/21322/re-trailer-trash
Want to point us to something you wrote that we can read for free?
I'll wager you can't, and even if you could, you wouldn't.

[Anonymous No.21891555]

>>21891207
I made my world small, only about the size of europe. I designated maybe 10 or so "countries," then, over time, I went through and would divide each country up into 5-10 constituent regions with diverse but logical culture. I prefer this way more than typical monolith races/ cultures.
>these are the mountain people. They live in the mountains. They are hardy and warlike.
>these are the coastal people. They live on the coast. They sail boats and stuff. They probably do economy things, too.

[Anonymousn No.21891628]

>>21891481
I'm absolutely trying to insult it. I think it's lame and tacky and there are people in this thread with a much better aesthetic sense. When I read writing here I like, I let people know. When I see people praised because they 'do numbers', I feel as indifferent as if I saw a viral tweet, and if it's lame and tacky writing I feel extra depressed at the meaninglessness of the esteem people seem to give it. I post in this thread because I like writing, not because I like small-business hustle mindset. There's probably not much point typing this out to you because it seems like we have very different views of what's important in fiction.

[Anonymous No.21891636]

>worldbuilding faggots

Ahahahaha you will never write a book

[Anonymous No.21891674]

>>21891628
I bet your fiction bores people to tears and has far worse writing than Re: Trailer Trash to boot (haven't even read it, but still confident)

Love the pseuds who write ""literature"" and shit on genre fiction. Get over yourself. You have nothing meaningful to say and can't write. Not that you'll ever accept it.

[Anonymous No.21891676]

>>21891628
Your insults don't line up with what I know to be true about that work.
So I'll wager you don't even know what it's about, and are jumping to conclusions based on the 3 words in the title.
And if you think it's so lame and tacky...why not point us to something written by a /lit/ anon that meets your standards?
Because I'll wager you haven't written anything.

[Anonymous No.21891698]

You can thank me later, that is, if you're serious about writing.

[Anonymous No.21891717]

>>21891698
I read bits of this. He emphasizes long winded sentences, but today's writing likes clarity.
The cat is orange and it caught rats. Is a better sentence than The cat's fur blazed a color similar to that of the flickering flames from the golden orb hovering higher than the fluffed clouds where the angels watched upon our pastures to ensure said cat did it's duty eliminating the rodents that preyed upon the earth.

[Anonymous No.21891732]

>>21891717
His point is that you should be able to use cumulative sentences to create a variety of sentences, which is quite a common writing advice. To this he wants to add that even the steps you take to create the sentences should vary, all to worship at the alter of variety. He's one of those who laments about the worship of clarity as undermining creativity and sheer joy in writing.

[Anonymous No.21891737]

>>21891636
I've been writing for 10 months now, worldbuilding is fun, but that doesn't mean I've not done anything with my work.
Have you written anything?

[Anonymous No.21891743]

>>21891737
not him but i'm sitting on 3 completed manuscripts and 2 partials, not counting the ones i completed and discarded when i was in college and not as skilled. no "worldbuildign" and "lore" like some elastic-jawed soi-bug

[Anonymous No.21891761]

>>21891743
I assume that your works don't need lore or world building then? But that does not apply to everything written. Someone could jump in and make a great story without thinking it out at all, but that is unlikely if it is fantasy or sci-fi.
Tolkien spent years working on lord of the rings and making a believable world.

[Anonymous No.21891794]

>>21891761
Yet what of Clark Ashton Smith’s many fantastical worlds such as Hyperborea, Poseidonis, and Zothique? What of Robert E. Howard’s Conan the Barbarian, of which the only world building he ever did was a 10,000 word essay during the midpoint of his writing career? These you may understandably claim as not being works of worldbuilding, for these story cycles occur within imaginary epochs of Earth’s history, but
everything that happens in them is so far removed from our regular mundane world so as to be practically original settings, merely wearing the guise of being Earthly. What of Lovecraft’s dream cycle, that fantastic series of short stories that came to him in dreams. These short story writers did not purely worldbuild, or if they did, they did so organically through the completion of their short stories.

[Anonymous No.21891800]

>>21891761
it might blow your mind to realize this, but the sum of all literature is not your neckbeard scifi/fantasy. i don't read or write g*nr*f*ct**n

we happen to already live in a world

[Anonymous No.21891831]

>>21891794
I think we might be looking at this from different views.
When I think of world building, it is not writing out manuals or long descriptions of people and places. I try to organically put in bits of world building where it makes sense to do so.
I understand scolding people for it if that is all that they do, since it can get in the way of stories if the author makes paragraphs of dense text that only applies to their own setting instead of having the characters speak about something as if it is entirely normal and letting the reader learn through that. Or worse yet, that the author never really writes, because they try to set up the entire world and ecosystems before they write a single character. I did that a little bit at the start, but then I was told that it doesn't really matter if I never actually do anything with my setting. At this point I've basically thrown out all of that since what naturally emerged when I was writing lets me make a more interesting story.
>>21891800
There is nothing wrong with non-fiction, but it sounds to me like you are one of those people who fear being seen as childish so you reject things not based in reality.
Also, from how you write, with your lack of capitalization and typos in your posts. I'm not sure that I believe you have written anything. What about those 3 manuscripts that you are sitting on? Did you try and fail to get them published?
The other anon made a well put together post, you've just thrown out insults and talked down to others because.

[Anonymous No.21891873]

>>21891831
>non-fiction

holy fucking hell you are retarded. you really think the only two forms of writing are scifi-fantasy and nonfiction? go outside. touch grass. have sex. read a book. get a job. clean your room.

[Anonymous No.21891880]

>>21891873
Right, I did use the wrong word. Rather than none fiction, you only care about fiction that is based in reality.

[Anonymous No.21891887]

>>21891873
It's always the pseuds who come off desperately unhappy with life. I wonder what this means?

[Anonymous No.21891892]

My manuscript hit 100k words. The last third of it is mostly just fragments that I need to connect but it feels like this damn thing can actually be finished.
Amazin'

[Anonymous No.21891893]

>>21891892
Nice.

[Anonymous No.21891977]

>>21891880
you "used the wrong word" (which is cope) becuase you read nothing but genreslop and got called out on your terminal braincancer.

you are writing and reading a diet of word document formatted comic books, loser

[Anonymous No.21891989]

>>21891072
>The occasional breathlessly long sentence is fine, but you should try to vary sentence length so it doesn't become exhausting to read.
I do not adapt my style so that cognitively disabled people like you who find it too hard to read are able to treat my writing like some easily digestible thoughts like the shitty books they’re used to consume.
>Also, it's completely delusional, so I hope it's the character opining and not the author.
Bah! A nerdy shut-in with mental illness who posts in a online forum for the incels and alienated youth telling me how society really is. Did you ever have a relationship with social outgoing people?

[Anonymous No.21891994]

>>21891977
Criticizing an anon for the 'mental unhealthiness' of reading genre fic while fuming at random, relatively innocent people on 4chan is peak comedy.

[Anonymous No.21892014]

>>21891994
Oh I'm having a great time. The fact that he is so upset about me having the wrong taste in literature is fun. Maybe one day he will send out those great manuscripts that he is sitting on.
I've seen other people who do things like this, they can't disconnect themselves from reality and the weight of it turns them into bitter people who lash out against the people who haven't fallen into that trap.

[Anonymous No.21892057]

>>21891085
Protrude was right, it fulfills the character extending herself too forward. Intrude would be too much self awarness for the character to have for something inherentley embarrassing and obnoxious

[Anonymous No.21892287]

Does this synopsis make you want to read this book?

>Duty binds all. Adah Phenric took a vow to protect Tymber from all that may burn it when she took an oath as a Knight of Valora. All was well until she and her team were sent on a routine mission to hunt a monster, but things go awry and Adah finds herself to be the sole survivor. Unconvinced her comrades are dead, she ventures out into the world to uncover the reasons for their disappearance.Coming in contact with a mysterious merchant, her investigation leads her to uncover a plot that threatens the world and the nature of the Goddess herself. Armed with nothing but her wits, friends, and a bit of magic, Adah acts to bring the culprits to justice.

[Anonymous No.21892294]

>>21892057
this merely proves you're esl. protrude is not the correct word

[Anonymous No.21892352]

>>21892287
>uncover a plot that threatens the world and the nature of the Goddess herself
world-threatening plots in fantasy aren't necessarily shit, but they usually involve lots of magical bullshit like
>Oh no, the bad guy has the gauntlet of Rishtuam and he's going to use it to open the Chaos Gates that hold back the demonic forces of the 12th plane of superhell! We must acquire the nine chaos emeralds in order to stop him!
which is so tiring. The names are also a hard meh from me, but I'll gladly overlook silly names if the story's good.

[Anonymous No.21892385]

>>21892352
Well if you really want to reveal and twist, the King of a city is gathering gunpowder to blow up a frontier city so he has justification to instigate a mass scale war.

The merchant is there to help him out, but he too wants war, not for conquest, but for death and destruction; to try and sway believers of the Goddess to reject her and worship the Goddess he does.

[Anonymous No.21892413]

>>21892287
remove the proper nouns Tymber and Knight of Valora, they do you no favors. maybe make it so Duty binds all is the 2nd sentence, not the first

[Anonymous No.21892474]

>>21892352
What's wrong with Adah? I took names from primary tax documents from the 1200's.

[Anonymous No.21892475]

>>21892385
What's the king's reason for starting a war? Just a power grab? I feel like it would make more sense with the roles reversed- the king as the crazy zealot and the merchant as the opportunist (it just kind of goes with their professions I guess).
Anyway, what you just described sounds a lot more interesting than the description made it seem. The blurb almost seems too epic compared to what you've described of the story.

[Anonymous No.21892527]

>>21892057

A native speaker would never say "protude his time". You provided a definition -- did you really mean to say "shoot out his time"? "Thrust forward his time"? It's still not correct. Fix it and move on.

[Anonymous No.21892561]

>write 90k word draft
>it's shit
>don't finish it because I'm depressed
>depressed because I don't finish it
>drink because I'm a failure at writing
>I'm a failure at writing because I drink

[Anonymous No.21892569]

>think about a novel
>dread how long it would take
What do? I've been letting this be an excuse to procrastinate for too long.

Also, how do you get in the mood to write about a holiday when it's not that holiday yet? I was going to write an Easter themed story but the day is already here.

[Anonymous No.21892588]

>>21892475
>What's the king's reason for starting a war? Just a power grab? I feel like it would make more sense with the roles reversed- the king as the crazy zealot and the merchant as the opportunist (it just kind of goes with their professions I guess).
It started out that way, but it didn't work the more I wrote it. The Merchant is tied to the main character, not the King. to be honest, the King's plot is in the background and there's only hints of it. Hell the story doesn't even mention it until about the last 80 pages

>Anyway, what you just described sounds a lot more interesting than the description made it seem. The blurb almost seems too epic compared to what you've described of the story.
I'll probably have to rewrite the blurb then.

[Anonymous No.21892819]

>>21892569
Start writing

[Anonymous No.21892869]

Why does everyone write out their memoirs thinking anyone cares?

[Anonymous No.21892974]

>>21892869
It's a good writing exercise, if nothing else.
After all, write what you know.
Re: your demotivational failed-crab-bucket nonsense...go jump off a tall building.

[Anonymous No.21893017]

>>21891674
>and has far worse writing than Re: Trailer Trash
Not that anon, but I read some of Trailer Trash a couple years ago and was not impressed at all. The writing may be of slightly higher quality than the average on RR, but that's not a very high bar to cross. Not saying that the average anon here is any better...but it's not something that would be difficult to beat

[Anonymous No.21893021]

>>21893017
And yet you find it impossible to beat.

[Anonymous No.21893058]

>>21893021
Where did you get that from? If I struggled to write better fiction than Trailer Trash, I'd likely be failing out of my degree right now

[Anonymous No.21893072]

>>21893058
>he goes to school for writing
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Anonymous No.21893082]

The G-spot of the human male is located on his prostate, basically inside the ass, upwards midway between the shithole and the scrotum. The good Lord is my witness that I used to be a very pious man, lived in my safespace where assplay was frowned upon. But why, why we men feel so much pleasure with something inside our bottoms? Who made us that way? Every men who ever climaxed with a prostate orgasm knows that it is the hardest high that any of us can get naturally. First time I had one my whole body was still trembling minutes after, there was never so much semen and this even without anything touching my penis.

[Anonymous No.21893124]

>>21893058
Excuses, excuses.
>>21893072
I doubt anon's getting a writing degree, otherwise he'd get a good grade from writing better.

[Anonymous No.21893240]

>>21893017
Didn't mean to imply Trailer Trash has great prose (as I said, haven't read it), just that pseuds who seethe about genre fiction existing almost certainly write worse than the average RoyalRoad author. The ""literature"" snippets posted here are always by far the worst.

[Anonymous No.21893284]

>>21893240
I haven't read a near completed work here in months.

[Anonymous No.21893308]

>>21893284
Well, then, get to it!
I can think of several; they're listed in the OP author pastebin.
Support your /lit/ anons!

[Anonymous No.21893332]

Do you feel that to be a better writer you have to live a "normal" life?
I love writing but I rarely leave my house and have very little interaction with people, so I always feel I have no chance against writers that are able to experience life

[Anonymous No.21893347]

>>21893332
What kind of writer? To write something deep and meaningful about the human experience, you probably can't hole up in your mom's basement all day. But adventuring in a fantasy world, much less a total shlocky litrpg or something, you could definitely achieve moderate success in.

[Anonymous No.21893366]

>>21890179
Changed my mind. Its shit and you're a delusional asshole

[Anonymous No.21893373]

>>21893332
>>21893347
There has yet to be a incel protagonist book

[Anonymous No.21893382]

>>21893373
What does this even mean? That incels therefore can't be writers?

[Anonymous No.21893388]

>looking at old docs of outlines for stories that never got written made years ago
Should I bother trying to realize them now?

[Anonymous No.21893430]

>>21893382
It means write what you know. If you're an incel, write about an incel.

[Anonymous No.21893435]

>>21893388
go for it.

[Anonymous No.21893441]

>>21893430
Terrible advice. This board is a joke.

[Anonymous No.21893448]

>>21893366
Post your work then, weakling.

[Anonymous No.21893455]

>>21893347
I like to write short stories, more in the sci-fi/drama setting. My biggest gripe is writing dialogue. When I read the dialogues I wrote I want to kill myself.

[Anonymous No.21893480]

>>21893455
Well, I can assure you that you can be anti-social and be fine at dialogue. You probably just need more practice writing (and to read critically more often). Or you might be overly critical and it's fine, hard to say.

[Anonymous No.21893496]

I only have a single beta reader who can't bring himself to ever be positive about anything. He's a stick in the mud who finds fault with everything I do and doesn't care when I tell him it's very discouraging. What do I do!?

[Anonymous No.21893507]

>>21893496
reflect on your writing and realize your friend is right.

[Anonymous No.21893513]

>>21893507
I already do that though!

[Anonymous No.21893690]

>>21893496
Facebook is shit but there are some half-decent beta reader groups still active. Never use friends or family as beta readers unless you 100% trust they'll be giving you honest, constructive feedback. Usually it's the opposite problem to yours, being too nice so they don't hurt your feelings if it sucks, but being completely negative is no help either. You need actionable critique.

[Anonymous No.21893722]

>>21892294
Fixed it no need to be an asshole
>>21892527
Thank you I fixed it and I'm moving on

[Anonymous No.21893737]

>>21893448
As I sat in my seat I noticed Mr.Levinstion, what he was doing on his desk. While I was walking towards the back of the class was him playing around with his wedding ring. Twirling around that timeless battered old gold ring with his right pointer finger, only to put it back on again on his ring finger. This is an action he would repeat, all throughout the day for what seems to be random intervals. For Mr. Levinstion, this tiny action is something that has happened every day in class for the whole year, it's all he really does when he has time to wait in class(which is all the time).
It may be that I might just be over-speculating this tiny insignificant action. That doesn't stem from care but rather my curiosity and my inherent analytical mind. The action doesn't seem to hold malice that Mr. Levinstion may have for his significant other. It also doesn't come from any type of melancholy either, it seems to be in its own pocket of mystery that must have meaning but nobody knows what it could entail. The reason for my cluelessness comes from one observation, that being that his face is both gladdened and tragic, not complimenting expressions in the slightest, but here he was everyday with both of them. As he holds a stoic face filled with glee his eyes are the complete opposite as they have a deep sadness to them. This angers me to no end as these are the only clues to how the man operates, just the face and body language that paints a picture.

Suck my dick you delusional "writer". If thats your best work and you're a dick to feedback you might as well just quit

[Anonymous No.21893747]

>>21893737
so is the character sitting or was he walking? your first two sentences conflict with each other.

[Anonymous No.21893754]

>>21893747
No idea how I missed that. Sitting

[Anonymous No.21893929]

>>21892527
>protude his time
>protude
illiterate
opinion discarded

[Anonymous No.21893936]

>>21893448

[Anonymous No.21893961]

>>21893240
>just that pseuds who seethe about genre fiction existing almost certainly write worse than the average RoyalRoad author
I wholeheartedly agree. That also extends father than just /wg/. The people on this board in general who seethe whenever genre fiction is brought up are by far the the dumbest people around. You can still write exceptionally well while writing genre (Gormenghast is a fantastic example); and you can still read genre while also reading literary fiction. The people who draw a line in the sand are both ignorant and also the people who usually write/read the least

[Anonymous No.21893965]

How bad is page one?

[Anonymous No.21893974]

>>21893965
real gutter ball of a first sentence
didn't bother reading beyond it

[Anonymous No.21893999]

>>21893974
That was what I was afraid of most. I can't think of a good hook.

[Anonymous No.21894006]

>>21893965
>the morning was long and seemingly felt longer
Don't like it
>Selecrierius
Having a proper noun in the second sentence that I have to struggle to pronounce pulls me out of it.
>naught
Don't like it. Feels out of place in your prose.
>Despite the city of bristlecone's best
This sentence feels very out of place.
>fingers gripped onto
Awkward phrasing. Doesn't flow with the previous sentences.
>tears squeezed out of adah's eyelids whenever she yawned
Is she medically alright?
>decrepit state
Decrepit is an odd word choice for this situation. There are many better words you could use.
>Completing three investigative reports
Start a new paragraph with this sentence.
>trained as a Knight, given the title
You're missing something here. Knight also shouldn't be capitalized here.
>Kights joked they
Awkward phrasing.
>mana, or energy,
don't see the point of 'or energy' here. Mana is easily understood as an energy source

The overall idea for the seen isn't bad. Definitely still needs a lot of work, though.

[Anonymous No.21894016]

>>21893737
>As I sat in my seat
Jesus fuck, I just read this fragment of excrement of a introduction and I already gave up, there’s no point in soiling my mind with crappy thoughts.
>you're a dick to feedback
Lmao, grow up kiddo, you got to stand up for yourself in this big boy’s world or else you’re gonna get eaten up and vomited away.

[Anonymous No.21894024]

>>21893936
I kneel...

[Anonymous No.21894026]

>>21893082
>The G-spot of the human male is located on his prostate
maybe for a circumcised male. the real g spot is the frenulum, which is always at least partially excised during a circumcision. real sadistic doctors gouge the whole thing out. then the remnant is left exposed and it loses sensation. even in this hacked up, desensitized state it's often the most sensitive part of the penis

[Anonymous No.21894053]

>>21894006
Thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.21894062]

>>21894006
>don't see the point of 'or energy' here. Mana is easily understood as an energy source
I had people ask what mana was. I thought it was a common fantasy term, but some readers wanted it defined.

[Anonymous No.21894080]

>>21894062
nta, but that is odd to me. People from a christian household should know the term even if they've not consumed any fantasy media because it is used in the Bible. I can't think of anyone I would know who wouldn't have heard the term elsewhere.

[Anonymous No.21894104]

>>21894080
I honestly think it comes from academia where you need words defined even though it's a common word.

[Anonymous No.21894215]

>>21889752
have an intro fight where he uses the tools. couldn't be simpler. stop asking pointless questions.

[Anonymous No.21894289]

>>21894104
You can open any sci-fi or fantasy novel from the past thirty years and be greeted with a number of words you don't know the definition of, and then you turn the page and keep reading and find out. A lot of people here need to be spoon-fed and have no reading comprehension.

[Anonymous No.21894321]

It seems as though prose genuinely does not seem to matter when it comes to horror. Algernon Blackwood’s prose is very pretty, and his stories are also quite terrifying. On the other hand, M.R James’ses prose is very simple(often his short stories seem as if he was directly transcribing a ghost story told around a fireplace) yet his stories still remain quite chilling.

[Anonymous No.21894388]

>>21894080
not everyone plays videogames

[Anonymous No.21894410]

>>21894321
its still a style and can be done badly. Think Hemingway vs faulkner

[Anonymous No.21894452]

>>21894016
Your'e quite literally in a thread meant to show work and possibly get feedback. You're fucking retarded if people give you legitmate reasons on what you presented has problems, only to cry and whine on the floor that people don't like what you got, when what you got is universaly considered shit.

My writing needs works and I know that for myself even without peoples feedback. But, I take criticisms and sometimes praise with stride and look to see if it rings true. Which there almost always are. I truly feel bad for you since you'll always be dogshit not just because you're
talentless, seem to have a shit personality, and you don't like feedback of any kind. Its because you wrote a painfully annoying and dull collection of sentences on the vapiness of wanting to cheat and how everyone is a whore in modern day, without any skill or a want to be interesting. Also about my "excrement" with the desk in this tiny section I pulled from the middle of a chapter, I bet you did'nt read it since it reminds you of your failing grades you had in English all your fucking life

[Anonymous No.21894469]

>>21891698
i liked this aswell

[Anonymous No.21894475]

>>21891207
from a lit prospective Europe is already romantic, the trick is romanticizing the rest if the world.

[Anonymous No.21894480]

>>21891698
Or just copy Bakker.

[Anonymous No.21894483]

>>21883852
My good I hate this man

[Anonymous No.21894488]

>>21884831
Make a virtual that like that Joyce duck lady. Just repeated over and over again and claim its asoteric. I read like 50 pages of that book and it was dreadful, also the whole thing could have been in literally any order.

The fact that ... nobody remembers it speaks volumes.

[Anonymous No.21894489]

The one tend I'm happy with is publishing moving towards smaller and smaller books l.
200 pages is perfect.

[Anonymous No.21894605]

>>21893965
>sunorbs

[Anonymous No.21894729]

New thread
>>21894727

[Anonymous No.21894880]

>>21893965
what the fuck is the last sentence of the first paragraph even supposed to be? it's like you had a stroke. try just writing the way you speak because you have no grasp of literary english and when you try to imitate it you end up with actual gibberish.

[Anonymous No.21896071]

>>21891481
>>21891674
Get a grip and stop writing dogshit litrpg slop.