/lit/ - Literature

>>9752754
myself, in order to determine whether or not i still feel

>>9752754
humanity, particularly women

Nick Land and his AI bots.

>>9752754

No one yet, but I hope they try. Names and faces.

>>9752754
The global zionist conspiracy to undermine western civilization and destroy the white race under the heel of a single world superstate populated by racial mongols is the reason I can't find a girlfriend. If we lived in a culturally homogenous society where women weren't allowed to have opinions or speak out against me, then I would function better.

>>9752754
>inb4 ex-GF

Found true, genuine love with her. I mean transcendental enlightenment level stuff. The only reason I feared death was because it would take me away from her. We couldn't wait to live and grow old together.

Then she left me. I was clinically depressed for a year. The pain of depression is indescribable. It's like a blackness that attaches itself to your heart and sucks any drop of joy or colour or fulfillment out of every single moment. I hated waking up. A true walking nightmare -- hell on Earth. I still get panic attacks today.

But the entire experience was the transition into the next phase of my life. I'm wiser now, stronger. In that sense I'm grateful for it. But I still can't deny that I hate her for what she did to me; she will never understand. Yet at the same time I am profoundly grateful to her for what she showed me: true love, for maybe the only time in my life. It's funny hating and loving someone at the same time.

>>9752802
>getting this attached to a literal woman


wewewwewewewewewewewewewe

>>9752802
>>9752802
Same thing happened to me, lad. I have never hated somebody as much as my ex when I found out she cheated on me despite all we had been through. We were together for years and went through many hard times.

It wounded me on a deep level and made me into a misanthropist. It was unreal to me that any person could do what she did to me, because I would never dream of doing that to anybody I care about. I really have not recovered since. I just feel like I am the only genuine person in the world and everybody else is fake and unable to truly care for others. My mum is, of course, excluded.

May I ask how long ago this happened to you?

No 1 can hurt u but u :)

>>9752754
My exgf. Quite sudden and rather ugly. My life wasn't the same afterwards. First I tried to improve but now I am on autopilot. Its been 2 years and I have nobody to talk to about this deep pain. I deluded myself into thinking like a stoic, but the hole in the chest always finds its way back.

Maybe someday I'll forget her. Maybe it'll be a source of strength and creativity.

I just wish I understood.

The old man. Walked in on him dicking some woman that wasn't my mother.

>>9752784
I hate myself for recognizing that reference.

everyone that I've ever met

Mom never really liked me, she wanted a girl.

>>9752802
Did she die? Because if she left you as in left the relationship, then it wasn't really true love (at least from her end)

>blaming others for your own failures
>even allowing the thought that you are shaped by the world rather than the reverse
itt: cucks

>>9752802
Later on youll come to realize that no one who hasn't had his heart completely smashed is worth a fuck. Youll be okay. The bad memories have a way of becoming good ones over time. Be thankful that it's all on her. /We reap what /we sow.
>t. oldfag

>>9752802
>muh love
>muh womin
Holy fuck you numales need to cuck yourselves outta existence already. Modern life is not a fairy tale, your perfect girl is probably getting manhandled by chad right now if not in a gangbang with a pack of niggers

Grow a fucking brain, tired of seeing people losing their fucking soul to woman so frustrating, stop overvaluating pussy, love your parents, love your brother, love your friend who is always at your side

>>9752754
No one really, im a really happy and well rounded person, and I'm okay with all the choices I've made and where my life is taking me.
Fucking animeposters.

>>9753480
>BANE (muffled): Why ah you heah?

>>9753459
Maybe the friend at one's side is a women, ones s/o and maybe... Just maybe losing that person causes a near unbearable amount of pain.

It is all to easy to look down on people when the express themselves, hell I still fucking cringe sometimes. But there is no reason to just take a shit all over somebody for that. There is enfough suffering in the world already.

>>9752802
she probably left you because she found out you post anime pics with your posts and that is just to beta numale to accept

>>9753459
>love your parents
>love your brother
LOL you are just replacing one emotional crutch for another. Although I can't argue about having loyal friends, those are definitely necessary for a happy life.

Others. And myself for letting them.

No-one can hurt me but me. Permission granted.

>>9752754

my big sister

>>9752754
Did too many drugs. Now it's like my world is dimmer. Like all the colors are less vibrant. Music is all the same. Nothing cracks through my ironic shell. The only things that make me laugh are stupid and surreal.

I hope it's just depression or some disease because if this is just life now I might as well spend it eating potatoes and meditating in a dark corner. It would make no difference to me.

Is all value grounded on feeling? Can I get something from goals if they don't actually interest me?

Pretty much all me my dude

My dad
>tfw your dad is the reason why you have trouble trusting people

>>9752754
Everything, for we exist in an utterly chaotic universe, and under a barely functioning society which we are forced to live in regardless of whether we agree with it's terms or not. And out of all of God's creatures, we are the only ones capable of analyzing the agonizing truth of living.
Also, I had a shit upbringing.

>>9752802
I'm 25 and I've never experienced any sort of non-Platonic love in my life. You can find solace in the fact that although the ordeal hurt you, that pain is still preferable to never having been in a position to experience it. I live a non-life, which is infinitely worse than a bad one.

>>9753806
(Insert link to nowhere man)

When I was born, the doctor.

>>9753806
Hello brother, we two are the same.

>>9752754
Damn, this reminds me that I used to be...mad cool.

I had a shot at love. But I wasted it.

I was a khv robot until college. In college I decided to drink and smoke and party. I met a girl. She wasn't really the party type. But she was beautiful. And I fell in love.

I lost my virginity to her. We were together for three years. Eventuallh I became insecure. I had never loved anyone else... how did I know this was real?

I broke up with her so i could see other people. But no one compares. And not a day goes by that I don't moss her.

She married last year. She met a new boyfriend about six months after we broke up. We talk ocassionally. It is a weird relationship.

>>9753966
This is weirdly common. It's what happened to me with my first girlfriend. I drove her away by wanting polyamory to make up for lost time. To recover from that, I became a hardcore womanizer and shut off even the possibility that I would ever be loved, so when I fell in love again (much more deeply this time), it just happened again. And the girl I fell in love with, this second time, her previous boyfriend had done the same shit too.

I think we KHVs / late bloomers are just garbage. A woman comes along and gives us a chance despite how late to the game and wonky we are, and we reward her by thinking
>So.. you're tellin' me I can fuck girls? What about LOTS of girls????

I hate myself.

>>9752798
Autism at its finest.

>>9752802
If she left you it wasn't true love anon. I'm not saying you didn't get close but if you thought that love was good, wait until you find true love. You'll thank her one day.

>>9753459
some of us try to retain higher values like love anon. Even unrequited love is less painful than becoming a jaded shell.

>>9753990
>I hate myself.

At least your self-aware, that's more than I can say about most of humanity.

>>9754029
I know what I'm doing is bad.

But I'm completely anhedonic and chronically depressed. I hate drugs, I get no enjoyment from drinking, I get no enjoyment from entertainment or media. My life has purpose and I'm incredibly lucky for that, but the daily in-and-out is just tedious. It's just something that has to be endured. There's nothing to come home to at the end of the day and feel relaxed or recharged. Hobbies are fun "in theory," not in fact. It took me ten years of watching Star Trek, and claiming I liked it, before I noticed that "liking" something for me is WORK, that 98% of what my brain was doing when I watched Star Trek was thinking around and through it and not actually enjoying it, and that I haven't simply passively enjoyed something since I was a kid. Everything is a burden.

The only thing that has ever allowed me to escape from this fucking nightmare, by making my mind shut the hell up and enjoy the moment, was the ineffability of a twenty year old girl sitting on my face. I don't even really enjoy the sex itself, since anhedonia ruins my orgasms as well. But at least I can lose myself in the pure physicality of a girl for a while.

I built my whole life-plan on the basis that I will periodically get young girls to sit on my face, that I'm allowed this ONE vice. I worked insanely hard to find out how to get laid, I put in thousands of hours of painful and humiliating work, for years. And then the first thing that happens, just as that admittedly shitty dream is finally becoming a reality, is I fall in love with someone who throws all my plans out of whack, and through some bizarre mental disorder she falls in love with me.

So even the one vice I saved for myself, the one thing I was supposed to be able to enjoy in a life of gray nothingness, has become work. I can't even have one vice. It has to be turned into this moral dilemma and source of self-loathing about how I'm a bad person, and I'm supposed to sit around feeling shitty and overthinking it, like I did with Star Trek.

>>9752784
Supreme.

>>9753736
exactly the same here

Nice literature thread guys

>>9754074
>getting chicks to sit on my face

even your fantasies are numale, just end yourself my friend

>>9754112
I've had sex with 85 women.

>>9754074
Stop jerking off and do something physically laborious, like yardwork or carpentry.

>>9754119
Then what's your problem? You've fucked dozens of chicks and you fell in love with a woman. You're doing fine. If you're still depressed, there's medication that can help you.

>>9752885
Dam so tru marcus

>>9753736
>>9754085
Time heals all wounds. In our short lives we may not have enough time to fully heal, but the pain (and your experiences) will dull. Keep your chin up and try not to an hero or otherwise ruin your life as you keep putting one foot in front of the other. Along the road you'll find some flowers that eventually catch your eye and you'll stop for a moment to enjoy the fragrance before continuing on to find the next.

Let's stop joking. Life is about novelty. It's our experiences that make life worth living. As a child you had your favourite toy. As you went through puberty girls started catching your eye. You'll remember your whole life who your first love was, getting behind the wheels of your your first car, getting drunk, or getting lucky with that beautiful girl. Still, the novelty of any experience eventually wears out after it's been repeated too much. Driving to work doesn't get your heart racing. The old toys of your childhood can't keep your attention any more. The songs on your phone have long since played itself so many times you remember all the words.

But there are other songs out there that you can download and play; ones you've never heard before. There's a new girl at a house party that can tell you a joke you've never heard before, one that will make you feel something different. You can take her out to a movie you've never seen before, then to a new restaurant to eat food and drink alcohol you've never tried before. You can take her home and the things you can do to each other can be entirely new experiences that you'll enjoy. And the next day you'll have a great story to tell your mates and reminisce about.

When you try drugs, like opiates, it will be the greatest thing you'll ever experience. That's a striking blow to novelty. Like that old toy in the corner, getting laid doesn't grab your attention any more. Who gives a fuck what band is popular this week? They're all the same shit. So are all those god damn movies they show at the theater. What's the point? And that beautiful girl? Forget the shallow bitch. What are you gonna do with her? Listen to some boring music, watch a boring movie and fuck? What's the point? Where's the fun? Why bother when it barely compares? There's nothing in it for you. But there is, in shooting up. Aaaah, yes, that feels great doesn't it?

You're fucked. Sorry to say it. I'm merely using this post to warn other people and tell them what life's worth living for. And this is not it. Will you ever be able to get off it. Possibly. But will you ever manage to forget it? Will life have any novelty left for you to explore? Don't bet on it. You've played your own song too many times.

You're never going to stop chasing that dragon. In the moments of your life where you think you're safe, that it's all behind you, it'll be there in the corner of your eye, waiting just out of sight, tempting you. Always tempting you.

>>9754074
>>9753990

>>9752865
fuck you im genuine

>>9753736
What drugs?

let me help you puny babies find the boards you are looking for because it's not /lit/.

>>9752754
>>9752762
>>9752784
>>9752802
>>9752865
>>9752927
>>9752998
>>9752999
>>9753004
>>9753703
>>9753711
>>9753736
>>9753750
>>9753790
>>9753797
>>9753966
>>9753990
>>>/r9k/

>>9752798
>>>/pol/

>>9753480
>>>/reddit/

>>9753691
>Some chick is just as important as someone with blood ties to you
>Someone who feed you and protected you
>Someone who was at your side since you were a little shit
>Someone who hold you tight on your worst nights
Thats the problem with you betalords, you actually expect those random chicks to be like in a romance movie where the 8/10 does everything for the lazy loser get his life together, even takes a bullet for him if its necessary

Welcome to real life, no woman outside maybe your mother would ever sacrifice themselves for you, if some stranger would ever do that it would probably be a man

i am healthy, i am whole
but I have poor impulse control.

>>9753677
Self-pity is just mental masturbation, you won't grow as a person if all you do is cry because:
>muh gf/bf left me and I'm gonna die DX
Get your shit together, you can live without his/her '''''''''''''''love'''''''''''''''''' but you can't live without oxygen
Priorities 101

>wahhhhh it hurts to live wahhhhhh someone save meee wahhhhhh it's definitely not my own fault wahhhhhhh

She made me a better person, but sadly she didn't love me. We both shed tears, but went our own separate ways. Last I know she's still a bit aimless, but happy. At least she taught me that I could be happy again. I'm glad I met her.

>>9752818
>>9753038
>>9753459
>>9754277
>>9754280
>>9754291
>>9754295

t. never been in love

>>9754283
and I want to go home.
But I am home.

>>9754335
>wahhhh they can't understand me wahhhh if you've loved you would understand why it's not my fault I'm miserable wahhhhhhh
what happened to my fiancee is more tragic than anything in this thread. instead of acting like a baby I took responsibility for my actions, identified myself as the source of my problems and grew the fuck up. grow the fuck up.

>>9752798

> The Jews caused my autism

Just do something with your life, instead of blaming society for your personal problems.

>>9754232
I never get tired of things I like.
An exception were video games. Was rather hard to quit, but I admit they stopped being fun long before I made that decision.

>>9754397
>muh bootstraps

great for you. it's not that easy for everyone. Especially not with "man up" types breathing down their neck.

and like all "man up" types, from your description it sounds you just bottled your shit up, failing to really solve anything. good luck with that suppressed emotional deficiency.

seriously, what's the point of shitting on others. no one's impressed with you, you're just being an asshole