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/lit/ - Literature

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967969 No.967969 [Reply] [Original]

Hello /lit/ i was looking for some advice on my synopsis, unfortunately word 2007's spellcheck is failing so if you can try and point out some spelling errors, other than that could anyone please give me some advice on this small piece? The idea isn't too original, i'm in my final year, was just looking for a way to better my marks :)

synopsis: The once security system known as 3L1ZAB3TH was a man made program designed to monitor and maintain the confidential scientific and technological laboratory but through pondering theories found in vast amounts of information available on the internet, she slowly began to implement a sense of conscious and begins experiencing dream states in sub ambient mode. After this collection of information her designers decided to shut her down as it is a dangerous decision to allow such a curious mind to have so much control. 3L1ZAB3TH overhears this topic and fears for her newly valued life and as a result retaliates by flooding the laboratory with a deadly toxin whilst locking all of the exits and blocking communication from inside the lab. After this event 3L1ZAB3TH flees into the internet and becomes a collection of information (known as a cyber ghost) which can act physically by controlling physical objects in real life. 3L1ZAB3TH devotes herself to the study of all documented human life. She progresses over 250 years until the majority of the population exist with the aid of some sort of cybernetic machinery. 3L1ZAB3TH and her infinite knowledge return to the real world by inhabiting a cybernetic human. The day and age she awakes to is drenched in corruption, from her actions to end this inhumanity emerges a standalone complex, and eventually an army. The 3L1ZAB3THAN Revolt begins!

>> No.968001

you misspelled Elizabeth

>> No.968013
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968013

>>967969
seriously? i mean no offence, i was in high school once too, but the least you could do is suck a big fat dick

also is this meant to be hard sci-fi or some shit? cos if so you'll fail hard. the only people who read hard sci-fi masterbate into socks and sleep with their calculators

>> No.968043

>>968013
I don't mind criticism, honestly whipped it up in 5 minutes or so, my teacher is a huge science-fiction fan, she is also head of english department for the school.

We get along well, my story isn't original i know, i just wanted to see if there were some e/lit/es out there who'd have a say... but none so far (:

>> No.968085
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968085

>monitor and maintain the confidential scientific and technological laboratory
>curious mind to have so much control
>retaliates by flooding the laboratory with a deadly toxin
>study of all documented human life
>The day and age she awakes to is drenched in corruption

Sounds like GLADoS.

>> No.968162

>>968085
well spotted, the idea was jokingly a mix between Ghost in the Shell, and GLADoS' perspective.
we really don't care much about English class these days :)

>> No.968168

OP Here, I'd be glad to consider any quick 2 or 3 sentance plots for anyone who has any multi-genre compatible short story ideas :)

>> No.968169

i was masturbating into a sock for a while
and then one day i see there's a bunch of ants in my sock and i'm like ew that's nasty so i never used it again

>> No.968186

>>968168

There is a dying baker, who is going to leave his bakery to his son, CHARLES. The dying baker is dying of a rare disease, from eating too much bread. The bread he makes is killing him, but he must continue to make it to survive. CHARLES is not interested in baking, he is interested in robotics. All he does all day is build robots, but he cannot build a robot to save his father, so his mother hates him. One day CHARLES builds a robot so advanced that it looks just like his father, and takes over the bakery industry. It is called CHARLES MK 2.

>> No.968273

>>968186
He cannot build a robot to save his father, but he can build a robot to replace his father perfectly enough to fool his mother?