/lit/ - Literature

I'd fuck her

>>9431012
Not that into asian chicks.

That doe eyed shit bugs me.

Is Taoism a viable way of life or is it a meme?

i want to release my seed deep inside a girl and fill her womb to repletion. i want to perform this action over and over until she is full with child.

unfortunately this desire is incompatible with my present station in life and my plans for the future, so i trudge on in weary abstinence. it doesnt help that i bought into the teleological and mean/end arguments and consequently flee from onanism.

>>9431231
Go masturbate and tell me after if you still feel like that.

>>9431239
ive relapsed a few times since 'giving up' fapping around nine months ago. it doesnt help. God commanded us: "be fruitful and multiply." breed-lust is hardwired; no sane person would put their trust in the pill, yet millions of people finish inside their hormonally-imbalanced birth control gfs every day.

also for as erotic as i find impregnation i am not in any way ready or qualified to raise a child, and as i said im also not ready to become a wageslave to support a family.

>>9428697
As I type this, I'm sitting in the corner of a university library. For the last four months, 6 hours a day, three days a week, I've sat at the small wooden table, always taking care to move any chairs besides the one I need to other nearby tables. In this seat, obscured by a partition and portable whiteboard, no one can see me besides a the few students in the most immediate tables.

During this time, I've had conversation with another person three times. I enjoy living as a hermit amongst the people. I'm currently watching a video of a girl cleaning her room and whispering into a microphone. In this library, when I'm not browsing /lit/ I am browsing /tg/ or /pol/ or reading. I am currently reading a Study in Scarlet and have ordered a copy of Ulysses from Amazon, the Wordsworth's Classics mass market paperback.
What a life.

>>9431380
this is funny b/c ur at a library but you paid for a book

anyways i buy more books than i should... i have a perfectly good library to go to.

>>9431012
Billions of years without existing to suddenly existing in a shitty country with a shitty life wasting my time on this shitty site.

I have a 10 page paper due tomorrow. I'm about eight pages in and have no idea what to say.

Anyone have any hot opinions on the media response to Hurricane Katrina that I can steal?

Why does every sincere emotion I have trigger an overpowering desire to drink myself into nothingness.

Today I met a really really nice and sweet woman, and I talked to her for a bit, and nothing went wrong at all, but when I arrived home I downed two bottles of dry red wine.

Also I lost my job 2 days ago and I don't speak French so I have to read Camus in translation but these translations seem so utterly terrible.

I'm all out of wine almost so I gotta drunk drive to the store to get more. That rhymed.

I'm turning 21 tomorrow. Hooray.

>>9431294
>ive relapsed a few times since 'giving up' fapping around nine months ago
I've wanted to give it up or near to completely but neevr really manage.
How did you come around?

>>9431550
>I'm all out of wine almost so I gotta drunk drive to the store to get more
lol don't care about you but don't kill any other innocent people though
>I'm turning 21 tomorrow
I'm leaving my teens soon and apparently that is a bigger deal to most people than I seem to imagine it will be personally, so I'm not looking forward to that. Happy Birthday in advance anyways let mommy buy you something nice.

I walked Joanna to the station, then came back to the apartment. Smoked cigarettes one after the other and did nothing, pretty much. Joanna asked me if I want to come over that night. I said no. Said that I need to spend that day alone. My hangover was making me very tired so I laid down and fell asleep instantly.
I dreamed of the city, the cold, catching trams, waiting... Meeting Annie. Tatyana was there, too. She looked so weird, her face was dark and striped with small cuts and blisters, like it was scorched. The rest of her body was normal. I thought: "How was I ever interested in her? She looks horrible". Then I found myself somewhere else. It was warm and humid and I was riding a bike on a mountain road. A car suddenly swerved too close to me and it pushed me off of a cliff. I was falling to my death from some two hundred meters of height. My heart was racing and, naturally, I started to panic. I shut my eyes tightly. The fear went away almost instantly. I knew that, as long as I kept my eyes closed, I won't feel a thing. Maybe I'll die, maybe not, but there will be no pain. The fall was going on for some time. I started thinking about death, the experience. Then, at a single moment, it hit me. I knew I was no longer living. No longer a human. I ceased to be alive, or I ceased to be human.
When I opened my eyes, I saw a gigantic dome sprawled over my head. It felt like home. Some Arab woman ran up to me and started shouting in a language I did not know. I remembered I wronged her somehow, but couldn't remember exactly how. Al I knew was, it had something to do with her daughter. I grabbed her violently by the throat and she went silent. The neck in my hand started shrinking and I felt the smooth texture of the skin change into something like feather. I was standing there holding a goose by the neck. It wiggled it's body frantically.
I pulled out a blade that I keep tucked behind my belt and started to cut under my fist, on the lower portion of the long, white, beautiful neck. The blood exploded in three or four strong spurts and I felt a little bad that the pretty white feathers were tainted. After I got rid of the body, I took the neck, that still had the head attached to it, and I repeated the process on the seam between the neck and the head. I took the piece of meat and left the head on the ground. It was still opening and closing it's mouth in a rhythmic fashion, staring at me as it did. I cooked and ate the neck later that day.

>>9431590
Thank you.


You are a nice person and I wish I could hug you.

You are correct, drunk driving is very very shitty.

I wish you all the best my man.

I just want a slim girl with a nice ass to sit on my face. I am so fucking horny. I'd probably shoot her in the back untouched.

>>9431612
>I wish you all the best my man.

OP really did drink 2 bottles of wine, huh

Kierkegaard was right about everything

>>9431294
>>9431380
I love posts like this. Makes me happy to think whatever my problems, I'm not ~that~ creepy guy and my life is pretty good.

>>9431563
honestly i dont know. its hard. the disappointment i feel when i fail is pretty good motivation. ive convinced myself (true or not) that masturbation is a hedonistic activity unbecoming of the sort of life i wish to live.

like, even if there is nothing 'wrong' with it its just more badass not to do it anyways; in a way its superhuman. i feel the same way about my dick as i do about my smartphone: its a useful tool that, without proper discipline, can lead me to pernicious overstimulation and thereby divorce me from reality. in the same way i feel like less of a person when i scroll through my facebook feed for too long, i feel like less of a person when im tugging one out. Why should I trade in the infinite for the finite? its hard to consider my place within our well-ordered universe when all of my thoughts become self-directed in a non-reflective capacity

>>9431626
what do you mean?


3 by now, but i dont get it

I took an exam that I don't think I did as well on as I had hoped. I have no one to blame but myself, really. What the most disappointing thing is about this, is that I really don't care.

>>9431641
yes, just keep masturbating to traps! look on with lustful fascination as harlots get gaped and anally creampied by men you do not know! allow a doctor to rend your vas deferens! these are perfectly upright practices, and you are the sane one!

http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2014/03/who_can_know_how_much_randi_zu.html

How can one man be so right?

>>9431643
>even if there is nothing 'wrong' with it its just more badass not to do it anyways
so simple yet most people just don't seem to understand this simple idea but rather delve into you falling for religious fanatic's lies or other unfounded nonsense.
You also seem to have thought through giving up onanism a lot more than most others who I have asked for advice...
>>9431664
>is that I really don't care
yeah but doesn't that feel good? I love it to just literally not give a shit about even fairly important things. It is one of the greatest feelings of euphoria to me when I just walk away from something I am told I must do.
>>9431651
Idk telling anons you want to hug them ususally is a good sign of being at least tipsy

>>9431687
>Idk telling anons you want to hug them ususally is a good sign of being at least tipsy
Im very drunk, yes

whats your point?

>>9431012
I love you, dear sister. I know that our parents will never accept it, especially because you are eight, and they are some close minded people without goals in their lifes, but I will always keep a secret room for us both in my little heart.

>>9431694
>whats your point?
nothing wrong. It is good.
I'd join you if I didn't have to get up early tomorrow.

>>9431707
dont get up early


Join me please.

I love you so much just for replying to me

we are on lit, what are you reading currently?

hi


just
drink a little or whatever

idk

>>9431550
I feel you anon. I've got a decent job and a cute gf, but whenever I'm alone I immediately fall back down on drugs and drinks. It's awful. Every day I juggle my job and relationships with extreme effort, because I'm still experiencing come downs from the nights. I live in fear of exposure.

>>9431687
>yeah but doesn't that feel good?
Not really because I am also in denial about everything

This thread went in a very gay direction very fast

>>9431380
I see I've found a man of culture
https://youtu.be/0iNQJ57YGBM

>>9431722
>dont get up early
stop. I am too good at convincing myself that it is not worth leaving my comfy bed every morning already.
>we are on lit, what are you reading currently?
I'm giving Island in the Stream a second go because I really do like certain aspects of it a lot but the dialogue is truly dreadful.

What are you reading?

Or listening to /mu/ rn?

>Also
got a beer at least

>>9431769
I love you.


Currently reading The Fall by Camus.

Only 40 pages in and I'm NOT enjoying it. Reading a German translation.

I am currently listening to Jordaan Mason and his horse album.

Thank yu

I want a small bookcase for my desk but I can't find any that I like and are small enough.

>>9431795
>Reading a German translation
>German
Na Grüß Gott, Kamerad.

>The Fall by Camus
>Country France
>Language French
How good was your education?
I took french in Middle - and Highschool but am not certain if I even remember enough to be able to read a novel all in french.
I really don't like the idea of reading a translation so I'm trying to pick up my language skills again to read beyond the german and english novelists.
Bought me "Le coup de vague" because some frenchy recommended it here but haven't given it a try yet.
D you have similar feelings or wishes to read the original over a translation?

>>9431832
Ich hab 'nen Hauptschulabschluss.

Ja, Übersetzungen regen mich 'n bisschen auf.
Ich hab gar nicht das Gefühl, als könnte ich den originalen Author beurteilen. Es ist unfair. Irgendso'n Spasti hat seinen komletten Roman umgewandelt. Es ist nicht dasselbe. Ich hasse es.
Ich plane demnächst was von Marquez zu lesen, was laut deutscher Kritiker sehr gut übersetzt worden ist, trotzdem hab ich 'n ungutes Gefühl dabei.

Du bist Deutscher, ja? Magst du Hans Fallada? Er is mein absolut liebster :)

>>9431858
>ich den originalen Author beurteilen. Es ist unfair.
Auf jeden Fall. Es ist umso trauriger wenn man Gedichte aus einer anderen Sprache lessen will. Außer es ist ein post modern Scheiß, geht bei einer Übersetzung eines Gedichtes so viel schönes verloren.
>Du bist Deutscher, ja?
Joa hab doppelte Staatsbürgerschaft und fühl mich aber nirgendswo so richtig daheim.
>Magst du Hans Fallada? Er is mein absolut liebster :)
Ich muss gestehen, dass ich nicht seit all zu langem Interesse in Literatur habe. Ich hatte einen genialen AP Lit Lehrer, der sein Werk sehr zu Herzen genommen hat und versucht hat als ein peinliches Abbild von Hemingway zu leben. Er war sehr bizarre hat aber mein Interesse und Freude in Literatur geweckt.
Und insbesondere zur Zeit, suche ich Flucht von den langweiligen Alltag von mir, wo alles nur Mathe, Physik, Chemie ist und absolut keine Lust dahinter steckt. Es macht einen wirklich traurig manchmal.
Also leider hab ich nur von Fallada gehört aber noch nix gelesen. Was würdest du den von ihm vorschlagen?

>>9431012
Rubber was a fucking weird movie, but amazing from an artistic standpoint, but I feel like I'm too stupid to articulate why.
Detective Heart of America also feels like a surrealist piece of art. I wish I wasn't so stupid. I have such a hard time articulating why I think something's good. Sometimes I notice how I'm not getting my point across and I start to panic.

>>9431669
>implying I don't sleep in a big bed with my wife

>>9431550
>nothing went wrong at all, but when I arrived home I downed two bottles of dry red wine.
That's social anxiety.
I have the same thing. After every interaction, I spend the next two days screaming into my pillow.
You gotta find a mantra to drown out the crazy bullshit thoughts.

>>9431550
I'm just like you. I think what's happening is that we're both introverts, so after we spend time in the company of other, we need to revamp, recharge. Unfortunately, both you and I are also alcoholics (a habit that probably came to be because of the social anxiety) so we reward ourselves with alcohol. You need to identify what's happening in your head when the result is something that bothers you, you know.

I've been looking for a certain kind of art for years now and haven't been able to find it. Movie, book, even a video game, I don't care. The qualities I'm looking for are
>larger than life narrative
>horror/ish atmosphere
>somewhat mythical feel
>psychologically deep characters
The closest I came to it would be Silent Hill 2 and something like Dark Souls, but I haven't seen any movies like it or read any books. Mix SH2 with DS and add some S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
Yeah I'm pleb but help pls

>>9431131
meme
a big one at that

>>9432061
horns by joe hill

>>9432061
Paradise Lost
Or, Melmoth the Wanderer.

>>9432061
>Silent Hill 2 and something like Dark Souls
how could a novel be anything like a repetetive vidya game.
also where is your
>psychologically deep characters

I need to think up a thesis for Morrison's trilogy but can't bring myself to care or think about her black bullshit. Fuck.

>>9432061
the game SOMA

>>9432061
Der Ring des Nibelungen.

>>9432090
Both of those sound very much like what I was looking for, thanks.
>>9432084
I might check it out but it seems kinda campy for some reason.
>>9432103
I'm just describing the general "feel" of the work, I meant similar in atmosphere to those games. Also, the entire SH2 game is basically the protags mind unveiled before the player. That mode and level of psychological characterization is impressive to me. And yeah I know
>vidya
>art
>>9432114
I'm listening to Wagner right now, that must be a sign
>>9432108
Played it

Are there any psychiatrist or psychologist minded people around? I got a book that I've been thinking about writing but I need to do some research and I don't know anything about what it is you people do. Suppose you had a patient in his 30's or 40's who lived almost his entire life in the woods in total isolation. How would you go about rehabilitating and reintroducing him to the modern world?

If you have any book recommendations that may in any way help me answer this question I would really appreciate it.

>>9432144
>patient in his 30's or 40's who lived almost his entire life in the woods in total isolation
By that age it practically impossible to (re)habilitate a man into society. You can't teach him to speak, either.

>>9432144
It wouldn't really be possible. Such a person is likely to have huge substance abuse and authority recognition problems, they would never over come the lack of impulse control that life failed to teach them. No matter what you did, even with constant supervision they would end up in trouble. The isolated man you describe would interact with and be treated exactly like King Kong. Either leave him there or shoot him with heavy artillery. Our science can do nothing for him.

>>9432061
Faust

>>9432131
>I might check it out but it seems kinda campy for some reason.
it's not a psychological thriller or anything, but it's better than it seems. a lot darker. apparently hill's father is a famous horror author. anyway, he's the onl y author that actually spooked me.

>>9432181
Sounds good, I was literally judging a book by it's cover kek.
It says he's Stephen King's son. I hope he doesn't have his father's endings

>>9432144
>rehabilitating
total misuse of this term given the circumstances of his upringing

>>9432471

I'm still working the story out so the point at which he enters isolation is not set in stone. He could be isolated since birth or from his later teenage years where rehabilitation would be appropriate.

>>9431012

bitches ain't nothin but tricks and hoes

I've never had an abortion... but I'd like to... just so y'know, I could... well when I'd hear about one I could say yeah sister... I remember how that felt... *unzips pants*

>>9431012
I would kiss her down there thoroughly from the back, then, pausing for about fifteen seconds, letting my breath land softly on her goose-pimpled thighs, move on to her anus.
Then I'd remove the VR Headset, leave my house, and jump off a bridge.

>>9431131
Try drawing a 2D render of DNA structure (double helix with interconnecting parts) without drawing Yin and Yang. It might not be a viable way of life - not that ours is necessarily - but it is eerie enough to hold something deeper in it. Like numerology or Christianity.

>>9431031
yeah, and the only reason they're like that is because they were surgically snipped

I just don’t know how I feel about it all. I’m almost 38, almost at the top of the hill, almost only one direction left after that. And I’d say I’m considering taking the off ramp but in hindsight I never actually saw one. If I think back on things from the present, I never had any other options, and as I think back on things from the future, I never had any other options. Gilgamesh learned this the hard way.
I was voluntarily sleeping on the floor in an orange colored silvery thermal survival blanket cut into a sleeping bag. The second week my back got used to it and I could make it through the whole night in one shot. The elastic eye shade helped. The constant caffeine tap did not. I chose to do this to make things interesting.

Loneliness sucks.

>>9433083
Have you considered having sex with 20 year olds from amateur modeling websites?

>>9433255
>he doesn't build forts
>he wants to be a normie

Digital Dreams Implanted Via Wifi Signals
Thought patterns and Brain waves are altered by stimuli
When the mind does not get total silence and darkness, sleep quality will be affected.

>>9433333
can't get dem quints off my mind

>>9431012
I'm fucked. I'm fucked. I hate asians. I'ld still fuck her pussy tho. Doggystyle. God I hate uni. Colllege. It's all the same all fucking bullshit. Fuck fuck fuckos go rape cats haahah

I'm a worthless failure

>>9433383
Kill yourself

>>9433390
I would if I weren't this proud. My only problem with jumping in front of a train is that people would just chock it up to school (engineering) stress, and I'd be remembered as just another cunt who couldn't make it.

>>9431012
I have a deep, and unsettling fear for the west. I have been thinking about this podcast for 3 days now. The 30 minute part onwards, I had to pull over while listening to it in my car.

https://jordanbpeterson.com/2017/04/episode-15/

What's the big deal about finding a partner that I agree with on spiritual matters? I often approach partnerships with my dick or from what I think is beauty but is really just an extremely inflexible standard of good looks. Basically do I want some sort of supermodel who is fertile and kind and deep? What do I need to realize to feel like I deserve having a partner like that, or get rid of the desire of it's not the right thing for me?

F Scott Fitzgerald went crazy with jealousy over his hot wife, it seems like it could be a different type of hell to be with a hot woman. So why do I still want it despite all of my pretending that I don't?

>>9432016
You doin ok man just chill

You ain't stupid just honest

I worry I'll never get an agent for my writing. It's my next big goal, but I've tried before to no avail.

I go back and forth quite often in a few areas. I wish I was more stable

>>9433546
Nah you'll get one if you persist, despite past difficulties
>>9433554
But you get to have more breadth that way

>>9433405
Pride may be your saving grace then.

Years later you may see how it helped you pull through from this difficult time and be glad of it.

Are you a tenacious person?

>>9433383
same bro, except i don't know if failure is the right word; it implies i had a chance. i used to regret a lot of stuff but now i realize regretting is silly because my life could never have turned out any different in the first place -- it's this way because of my inferior genetics, nothing i could have ever done about it.

Pope Francis' popularity makes me nervous from time to time. I remember what Jesus says in the Gospels. As Christians--perhaps especially as Catholics--we're meant to earn the hatred of the world, not the love. We think and do things that the world cannot and will never understand, at least until the Second Coming.

>>9431380
good job anon, sounds weird

>>9431550
there is objectively no reason not to be shitfaced during most if not all of your 20th year

you're doing fine

keep drinking

I am hilariously stupid and I wasted large portions of my life thinking I was not

at least now i know tho

lord ha'mercy

>>9433557
Thanks for the words of encouragement.

The other day I actually managed to find an agent who accepted queries for short story collections. I have had a few of my short stories published, so I know I'm at least decent in that category of literature. So I queried the agent about a collection of my stories. Still waiting on his response. We'll see.

Tired of being a failure, but it's hard to know how much effort to put into my mental health and how much to put into school and job stuff. It's like a triangle and I can only choose two, but if I don't put enough into mental health everything falls apart anyway. I wish I was normal.

Mephistopheles visit me / give me a call

>>9433563
I used to be, but lately doubt has seeped in, and I'm really just not sure of anything anymore.
I've begun to drift away from my passions and aspirations, and I've just kind of given up on things.

Instead of even studying for my exams for the past couple weeks, I've just kind of sat here, and let them kick me, one by one.

>>9433830
Might be some mild depression but that's probably how I see it since I'm getting over a bit of depression myself

Do you have anyone to talk to about this aside from basket weaving forums? If not might be good to reach out, or if you know someone then reach out anyway at this time

My life is a metaphor for the expression "doing the bare minimum", emphasis on bare

Cheese toastie, cheese toastie,
my favourite snack,
you always have my back,
when my emotions snap

im fuckin hungry

>>9433333
>'ll build myself a pillow fort tonight.

>>9431858
what in translation

>>9433741
>keep drinking
Seems like that's what I'm doing.

Today I wrote a letter to a German actress, asking for an autograph.

I've never even seen her in anything, I only saw an interview on Youtube and thought she was cute.

I wrote about how I will go down in history as the greatest German writer whose 1.000 page novel will shatter the literary world in its very foundations and added a lot of jokes and I sprinkled glitter on it.

I hope she will recognize the silly drunk humour in it and not think I'm literally insane.

>>9435740
Doce cuentos peregrinos.

>>9431935
>Was würdest du den von ihm vorschlagen?
Der Alprdruck, vielleicht. Sehr guter Roman und auch sehr kurz, sollte dir 'nen guten Eindruck von seinem Stil geben.

Wenn's dir gefällt, lies Ein Mann will nach Oben oder Jeder stirbt für Sich Allein.

>>9433264
I made it up. Did it sound good?

>>9432711
underrated

What did he mean by this?

>>9436039
What font is that?

>>9436116
No idea, it's a scanned book.

>>9432061
bloodborne hits every mark. too bad if you dont have a ps4 you're going to have to spend a bit to scratch this itch.
read a bunch of lovecraft and stuff before you play

>>9436226
Unfortunately, I don't, but I've heard Bloodborne mentioned in that context all the time. Too bad.

>>9436233
maybe a friend has one you could borrow. i bought a ps4 for it. 10/10 game.

I genuinely enjoy posting on /lit/, even when most of it's shitposting from poseurs. At least those poseurs have actually read some books, even if it's just to keep up the act. And at least their shitposting is drawn, in part, from the books they've read. It's shitposting on grounds I enjoy treading and retreading.

My country suffers from a linguistic and cultural apartheid.

>>9431012
I don't know what I want to pursue for a long-term career.

just got scammed by some charitable donation. looked that fucker in the eyes and asked him if it was real. . . he lies to my face in my own home about a charity

i have been desensitized to how degenerate people really ate

The new Gorillaz album blows ass.

i met a degenerate robot who couldn't form coherent sentences and kept calling me a roastie. despite all that, i continued talking to him out of pure entertainment. start having strange obsessive thoughts about this loser, he is so different from all the other guys i've talked to. this one has no inhibitions and treats me like shit. sends a photo of himself looking gloom with no hope in his eyes, probably hasn't slept in days, little to minimal facial expressions. suddenly become horny after a long period of no sex drive.

>tfw only attracted to degenerates that treat you bad

I'm reading a chapter of infinite jest( or should I say infinite Tennis) every day. On evenings like this when I have a migraine, I'm so tired I see the pages warp like reflections in water,and Ive already done enough intellectually stimulating activities, I forget who the fuck whoever tennis playing chemical enthusiast is and who is speaking. You have to constantly make checks to see if your in the same scene. If there's a little number by a word you have to flip 700 pages to read some most-often unimportant 5 word sentence or in some cases a paragraph of medical jargon a bout a specific class of painkillers. Sometimes I'm not in the mood to read a chapter with a thousand acronyms I need to remember.

It's really stirring my intellectual insecurities. I know I could improve my comprehension if I read slower and tried to take in more of it, but some chapters feel incredibly unnecessary. If there was a overarching narrative for me to tether things to, I would be more interestedly, but at this point it all just feels so pointless.

Some chapters are really good to be fair. The short stories within prove that Wallace has incredible talent, but then why is he writing about a tennis academy like it's fucking Hogwarts?

The only parts that seem to carry the plot are the Maranthe and steeply sections, but it is so surreal it is hard to get immersed in. A middle aged cross dresser and a paraplegic "quadruple agent" aren't exactly protagonist material. I know this book is a meme, but I'm gonna read it anyway just to see what it's like. It's like a crazy drug. People say it's stupid but some say it's enlightening so you have to do it yourself just to see what's really up for yourself.

>>9437694
Memes aside it was like a psychedelic experience for me personally (the book).

Tbh it's supposed to be difficult, it's supposed to test you and your abilities. I don't think you should become insecure at all -- I was a little at first, the first couple chapters were overwhelming compared to anything I'd read before as I didn't know anything about the plot, all the names with no context, etc. -- and just enjoy the book for what it is, and take your time. *Time*.

I'd say fair enough like 10% of the book is possibly maybe unnecessary but the sheer brilliance of some of it definitely, definitely outweighs this. Like honestly, when you're reading some of the stuff it definitely has an effect on you emotionally; saint DFW described this as making "the head throb heartlike".

Yeah everything is a metaphor, you're making yourself sound stupid saying that the academy is like Hogwarts. No, it isn't. Give it a chance, some of the characterisation is fantastic and at times I enjoyed it more than the stuff with Don Gately.

I imagine you're near the start of the book, so lets say around 500 pages in when you're balls deep in the AA and Recovery thread of the narrative I bet you'll have a lot more good things to say about the reading experience.

I can't stop downloading JAV's even though I barely fap to them

Its my ultimate fantasy to fuck a woman twice my age (mid 40s). What would psychology say about this?

A handful of my stories contain an OP loli.
I've only had one of them published, and now I'm wondering if I should just keep the others to myself, because I don't want to be that faggot who always writes about the same thing.

>>9438260
>OP loli
You attracted my attention, anon. Where could I read it?

A old friend from high school is in the same lab class as me. We were in the same group but never quite close.

He was tall for his age then and good at sport but moved in year 9.

He is fat, strong , BO and frustratingly uncertain and beta. He wasnt like this before so something bad must have happened during the years at his new high school.

Ive stuck by him as a lab partner and had lunch with him.

I know what social isolation and being the pariah feels like and want to be a good friend to him.

But i am repulsed by him. Im embarrassed to be with him especially when im seen vy people i know.

In addition theres a girl that seems nice and asked if i could be her practical partner but had to reject. It would be nice doing experiments with her.

>>9431550
hapy birthday anon

>>9437575
fake

>>9437575
i want to drink your piss

>>9436116
>>9436128
It's a really unusual and rare font called Times New Roman.

>>9438518
It's a larper (male).

I went over on my ankle over a month ago and it still aches and where it aches is in the bone. I'm wondering if I actually fractured something, rather than just the regular pulled muscle/sprain. There's a part of me that wants to go to the doctor, then there's another part of me that just can't be bothered because if it does turn out to just be a serious sprain that just requires further rest I'd have wasted a significant amount of time on something I already know how to treat. The idiocy of this is not lost on me, but feel free to point it out, if you must.

Anyway, for the first time in about a year I have a week off and I've done what I expected I would do, which is practically do nothing and I've loved every second of it. A movie theatre just opened not 5 minutes walk from me, I spent the morning there watching Get Out, which I enjoyed immensely. The discussion about the film on /tv/ is frustrating because they can't help but see it as an overt attack on them personally as opposed to looking at it as a commentary on structures. But then again, this is /tv/ that sort of deep thinking shouldn't be something you assume is just going to exist there. I also started reading the first Jack Reacher novel, it's not good, but I'm going to see it through as it's an incredibly easy read and that's what I was in the market for at the time, something to read that's not overly "heady" and this certainly isn't - I won't be picking up the rest of the series. There's something about trash-lit that I think /lit/ misses in its consistent Benthamian pursuit of "high" pleasures in regards to the literature it purports to enjoy and propagate.

But anyway I'm rambling and my ankle is beginning to ache again.

Also, anyone recommend any good crime/detective/thriller type novels? Derek Raymond is a name I've been given by someone in the know, but I'm wondering if anyone else out there has anything in their back pocket that they'd like to offer.

>>9438398
I hope you'll appreciate that I never want to publicly out myself as a 4chan user. My first novel was published two years ago.

My stories are all based on shitty anime-tier ideas. In one, a sexually abused 9 year old stuck in a enclosed city gets a godlike power. In another, a 14 year old prostitute keeps meeting with a client that doesn't want to have sex and just talks with her and she eventually stops working the streets and falls for him. Another has a man buying a robo-loli (without sexual organs) in a scenario that's very similar to Ai Ren (man dying, given a child to make him happy until the time comes.)

I have stories without lolis, but I fear they're in too many and it'll become a trope to my readers (if I ever get a notable following)

>>9431012
>date an asian chick
>about to fuck for the first time
>take her pantsu off
>her pussy is censored and I can only see some pubes sticking out
>can't find the hole because it's all so blurred

why does this always happen to me

does anyone here have any experience with anti-depressants? will taking them make me not feel so sad about the fact that i'll never have a gf?

at this point there's nothing i can do to change that fact, i just need to find a way to better manage the negative emotions.

>>9431380
>Wordsworth's Classics
But why?

>>9438702
Are you contemplating taking them without being prescribed them? If so, don't do that, idiot.

>>9438709
no, i would go get a prescription. i doubt i'd have trouble convincing a doctor that im depressed.

I'm so bad at writing that I can't read for pleasure or relaxation. Even scrolling through this thread I've been mentally analysing every word and line, too preoccupied to actually formulate my own reactions. How do I snap out of this mindset?

I've been alone for so long that solitude feels more like company than company does.

>>9438833
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9-OzSzCDWo

for me it just feels worse and worse as time goes on.

Got a fucking lame/bizarre week coming up. First a police interrogation for ordering some benzos, or at least I hope it's only the benzos, then I have to watch out for some fucking snakes. Give them water, that is. Today's my 27th birthday and I haven't slept for 3+ hours for days.

I want Starbucks

>>9431012
My Grandmothers 80th Birthday was earlier this week and as I looked around the room to see all the people that came to see her, only one thought popped into my mind. Will I have anyone there for me when I'm old? Growing old and dying alone is my biggest fear.

These first two paragraphs are the last ones I wrote in this post. I sound pathetic here, but I'm glad I got to vent a bit outside of my journal.

I kinda wanna make comedic art full of social commentary like a Banksy or at least just to shit on everything. I've thought about doing it several times, but honestly I hesitate at the thought of being a asshole just for attention for obvious reasons, even if it means I'm creating on a regular basis. It's the only time where I don't ask myself what's the point aside from when I'm commissioned, unless I don't get any likes on social media. I'm pretty much out of ideas atm.

It's the in-between time for me that's the killer.

Up until the time when I take the next big step, I'm staring at the floor, wondering if any of my preparations will even matter. My skills really aren't that great. Do I really think that my portfolio will land me a job?

Maybe I should finish it anyway, just to have something to show...so eventually a professional could rip me a new one when they see it.

I skipped the gym to take a mental health day.

I slept in the past 24 hours way more than I intended to. This has been happening more frequently as of late.

I don't want to think until my trip. How can I distract myself for a month straight? Write a story nobody will read, flirt with a girl who isn't interested and I really don't wanna see with her clothes on. Nobody's motivated; even worse, nobody wants to be motivated.

I just made my way out of a porn addiction that was spurred by my wanting to forget about her. Fortunately, it only took me a few months to get over it.

Friends are few and far in-between. You're lucky if you find at least one who encourages you to better yourself, yea; blessed if they know how to pick you up when you're down. I have a friend that encourages, but I'm the one who usually does the consoling in his dark times. Maybe because I'm less introverted than him, but still introverted nonetheless.

>>9437751
I'm like 300 pages in now. I just finished the chapter where they have the tennis competition. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying ETA is like hog warts.Its not. I was just not that in the mood for reading last night and he goes on about this tennis academy as if there is something terribly important about it. The incandenza are interesting for sure, but I'm not that into tennis. I'm just not sure what the story is you know? Like I could walk down to the local school and very comprehensively explain the building and it's people, but that's not a story until there's conflict. It puts you in this place where you don't know what information is useful. Like in the Iliad when you don't know who will be a recurring character and who will die on the same page their life is summed up.

I've reached existential nihilism and idk wat do

>>9439379
Become a Buddhist. Understand Anatta. Liberate yourself from dukkha. Follow the path. Achieve nirvana.

Really have a thing for my sister in law. She is beautiful. I'm basically infatuated with her, I do a lot of handyman stuff for her since she's single. We share the same bithday but different year, 4 years apart. She favors me a lot so yeah want to tap that.

If I have to read one more self-masturbatory, purple prose-filled post on /lit/ I'm going to kill someone

The forest is the home and sanctuary for fawn his mother protects him from the dangers.
The fawn is filled with fear to cross the pastures to be exposed to all the dangers, but he must cross to the other side or be strangled by his own home. He must put aside the fears face the unknown alone. Become a buck

I'm craving intimacy, a personal connection. Not love or even sex, but the stage before that when the bond is forming. I want that exact feeling, with someone I can sit with, read with, be with, no effort or alteration of character required. That seemed to happen naturally with men when I was younger but I'm disillusioned and when I talk to them it feels like everyone is trying to sell me something I don't want. Your stupid desires and thoughts are written all over your face.

A completely organic, genuine bond without taking from the other person or giving anything away. What I'm describing doesn't exist. Sometimes I think the person I'm fantasising about is just another version of myself I'm ready to connect with.

It's not adult to think this way, no one is perfect, relationships require compromise, they're hard work. It doesn't seem worth the effort.

Now that I've written this out I'm disgusted at the idea of intimacy. Now I associate intimacy with being violated or stolen from. Maybe it would be okay if we just spoke but they always want to grab and touch and they're stupid, they say stupid things in a transparent attempt to charm, it's all just sex. I used to like sex. It's different now.

I stuff my face with junk constantly. I'm a fat repulsive mess.

>>9438675
Though I understand and respect your fear, I can't stop thinking that I am miss something interesting and stimulating. Are you a real pedo, or it's just a loli fixation?

I found love and I'll overdose.

>>9440081
Fuck, I feel the same way. I'm suffocating

>>9440085

Enjoy it. That's what I do. Everything is temporary. Make the most of it while it lasts.

>>9439673
why you wanna know?
Not missing much, unless you're into garbage teen fantasy-tier books

>>9431012
My autism and my inability to discipline myself to improve are coming back to fuck me.

Oh dear. Shouldn't have refused treatment for Autism in high school. Now I have to work on several problems at once.

>>9440219
Because I would like to know if you have genuine feelings, like me.

I just interviewed for a marketing position today. I hope I did well.

I want to crawl into a hole and die

>>9431012
I NEED MONEY
I NEED PUSSY
GODDAMNITT

>>9431012
I'm feeling so bad right now. All these pre-teenagers throwing me sexy gazes on the street, and I can't do anything because they're not legal... Why is everything so painful...?

>>9440263
I think you and I are on the same page then, lo/lit/anon

>>9440289
Not in the Philippines it's not.

>>9431012
I need to grow up

>>9439639
You can change. I believe in you.

>>9438702
More like will dull your cognitive abilities and emotions, they'll still be there but just weaker.

I believe in a creator so I think you shouldn't put things in your head to alter the way it functions, but from an objective standpoint I don't think antidepressants are a good way to go.

>>9438736
Practice. I used to be aids and now I'm just slightly shit. At the least you have punctuation and spelling right.

>>9439142
Happy birthday man, I'll paypal you $5 for taco bell if it helps. tyroneslamar@gmail.com

I destroyed everything I had and every decision I ever made was wrong

Now I lay on the bottom of a dark pit, forgotten, ridiculed, alone, haven't spoken to anyone in a year. Lost in my head

Delusions of grandeur or genuine enlightenment

I wish I knew who I am

At least I know what I want

It's harder and harder to have. A grasp on reality

And finding some kind of balance and focus

I wish I knew how to control my thoughts

>>9441047
Some parts of that are resonant but some are melodramatic.

It does feel sometimes like we're trapped to make ourselves unhappier with every decision, like the universe necessitates our failure.

When you feel enlightenment write out your thoughts in a journal

>>9431550
>plastic cups

Mostly women with big tits

My entire life revolves around thinking about attractive women with big breasts.

>>9431239

Not that guy but I've masturbated 5 times in a row and still fantasize about hugging this cute Turkish girl that thinks I'm a fuckinh dweeb probably nonstop. Like its all I think about, her or sex with other girls. I'm 20 and my horniness is infinite. It dominates my life and reduces me to this monster that can't stop treating girls like a sex objective or something. Its so hard to treat them as a friend or human because I'm so concerned with sticking my cock in them or kissing them and cuddling them

>>9431699

Wtf

Kys

I'm fairly certain I've heard God speak, and it's amazing how easily that has gotten folded into the fabric of my everyday life. Now I realize how people who experience the supernatural can go without reporting it for so long. You just sort of let things settle, and go on your way. I've had to make sure my experience didn't settle in order for it not to do so. I've had to make my experience spectacular, almost.

>>9441306
Same except I'm convinced that Satan or some kind of demon spoke to me

>>9440743
>I believe in a creator so I think you shouldn't put things in your head to alter the way it functions, but from an objective standpoint I don't think antidepressants are a good way to go.

how else am i supposed to bear the constant, acute pain and despair? i don't have the discipline or calling to shun the secular world and live a monastic life.

>>9438708
society lives and dies by the meme

>>9432061
neon genesis evangelion

>>9441355
If you think the emotional equivalent of menthol is going to help you, I wish you luck. It's just my opinion on the matter, I have 0 scripture to back it up.

I don't have discipline either. But if you believe in a creator, you believe that he cares and wants to see you improve. So you'll always have someone.

I feel so small all the time. I don't have any personal power. I don't like the feeling. Women can smell fear and inner smallness out easier than dogs.

I'm not trying to be edgy. And I don't hate women. If anything, the problem is that I like them too much. I don't want to die without ever having loved someone.

it's weird, cause it doesn't seem like a problem that can be solved with Christianity.

It seems like it's the one problem Jesus never faced. He beat a bigger problem in that he totally resisted all worldly temptation. But we're allowed to have wives. But he never struggled to get a GF, even though he struggled through every other struggle a man can go through, presumably.

I mean that I can't even imagine what his approach would be, because he only barely allowed the goal. That is, it's not something he would have ever really desired. Our orientations are different.

Christians are supposed to imitate God's example. I don't want to be some king of game. I just want to be comfortable around women. I just don't want to be so small that they treat me worse than they would treat a dog. That hurts so much. But I don't want to give up women altogether.

I don't want to be like Dante, or Kafka. They had their day. They already suffered so I don't have to. Every girl goes around dressing with tight clothes. Ya, I'm a lecher. My CPU is overclocked, my engine is too high charged.

It's basically the only thing I want in the world, and I feel like I can't have it.

And it feels impossible to change it. Everyone suffers, except for me for the most part.

It's not a problem anyone understands but other pathetic people, and they're like crabs in a bucket. All they can do is pull you into their misery. I just want to get out.

But it seems so impossible!

>>9441482
Step one: Alex Jones' Ultra Male (or female if you're female) Vitality drops.
Step two: Therapy.
Step three: Work out.
Step four: Volunteer and talk to people. Anyone.

One of those things is bound to work if not all of them.

I fuckin hate niggers

>>9441499

Who fucking doesn't.
>>>/k/33791859

Why do we let them live again?

>>9441496
Thanks man. I'm setting up therapy now. Already tried no.4 a lot. If therapy doesn't work, I'll work out. Or maybe I can do both.

Anyway, thanks for tkaing the time to read all that stuff to help sort me out. I wish you a good weekend.

>>9441548
You should do both. Depression is a symptom of test deficiency. Boosting it (within rational limits) isn't going to hurt you.

Got a new job, hoping it or my other interview goes well for me.

I'll have been up all night for my phone interview, hopefully it helps my autism calm down.

>>9440723
In my very own country. Oh boy... if there wouldn't be consequences...

>>9441290
Are you trying to be edgy?

>>9440330
I'm glad to know that. Remember that you are not alone, friend.

>>9441273
lobotomize urself with depression meds to fit in - thats what i did and im a trainwreck but at least not a conscious one

>>9431012

ever since someone showed me faceapp i wonder what it would be like for the girl me to get violently fucked and suck 20 dicks at a time

>>9440743
>Practice. I used to be aids and now I'm just slightly shit. At the least you have punctuation and spelling right.
Problem is I have no storytelling capabilities or ideas. Are there any generic exercises I could do daily to improve?

>>9441805
Not that anon, but reading and writing are the two things that will help you become better. Read more. Write more.

Remember, no one needs to know what you're reading. Read anything that interests you, and chances are you'll naturally start seeking out more complex material to read.

Same thing goes for writing. No one needs to see or know what you write. Write what you want, with zero fucks given to the outcome. Try writing 1000 words a day, or start at 500 if that seems easier. Just write what you'd want to read. If you hate it, put it in a folder called "old shitty writing" and start fresh the next day. Or look at what you wrote, analyze why you don't like it, and try to rewrite it the next day.

>>9441516
>>9441499
A white guy raped my aunt. I fucking hate whites.
Why do we let them live.

my prostitute refuses to see me now
i done fucked up this time

>>9442017
what did you do?

>>9442123
annoyed her too much

>>9441957
Thanks anon

What kinda stuff do you write?

>>9442222
I'm the loli-fixated anon from above.

Straight forward novels mostly. They're categorized as "teen fantasy" because they're fast moving, character focused, and my writing style is succinct.

At least that's what my editor tells me :^)

Every cute girl has a bf

And single girls don't talk to me

I don't understand how people do it. Everyone is so confusing to me

>>9431131
It is and it's very simple, but people who don't understand aren't exactly going to say they're too much of a pleb to understand it.

Remember
>I am always made of gold and completely flawless, the WORLD is messed
is the biggest meme.

Ate at an all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ joint last night, and my body is suffering, now.

>>9442268
Not him (I'm your fixation brother). How do your editor react knowing what you write? I'd like to keep writing something similar, but using some real life experiences. It would be scary as fuck if somebody could notice it.

If you take a step back from your reflexive acceptance of how women act and comport themselves, it's actually really jarring how they're all just walking around proudly displaying their holes and fat to everyone, or deliberately looking childlike.

Like, in any photo of a woman looking all sexy, she's basically going "yeah, you KNOW I have holes." That's the whole thing. It's like if I took picture after picture after picture of my knees and elbows, kept jutting them out and making sure they were on display in any innocuous pictures, because women happened to have sex reactions to those things. It'd still just be me walking around going
>Hey ladies. ELBOWS here!

They're just fucking things you're born with. We're so used to seeing women as immanently, insolubly entangled with our desire for them that we don't realize it's just another person walking around, just like us, excepting this one is constantly shouting "PROUD 2 HAVE HOLES ;-) GOT THE BEST HOLES RIGHT HERE BOYS"

If you force yourself to actually see them as a person, as just a guy who happens to be female, their pictures become really disturbing. My stupidest least accomplished friend at least has some dignity, some sense that he has a personality and destiny that need to be cultivated, that his worth and value are interior things. If suddenly society changed and women valued his big dumbo ears and he suddenly geared 70% of his social presence around going 'HAYYYYYY LOOK AT MY EARS :P HAHA ;) I bet you want these ears don't you ladies ;) *poses to display ears* *juts out ears*" I'd be really sad for him. But because women do it from birth, it's normalized, and I just barely notice.

Every sexy sultry picture of a girl bending over is literally just a chimp presenting its holes. It's red-assed baboon tier shit. And they're proud of it, they think men think they're cool. Men are just clapping and going "Yeah! I love ass! Ass is a fantastic object!" while you're bending over and going "Am I doing it right? Am I valuable as a human yet? It's my holes, right? That's what's good?"

No bitch you're supposed to have a soul and stuff, stop showing me your fucking holes that you were passively born with and just have by virtue of existing. There's just something secretly hideous about it, just underneath the surface, something inherently disgusting about a free human agent walking around and thinking its selfhood rests in random jiggly parts of its meat cage.

>>9442353
>Either masterful troll or the least amount of self awareness I've ever seen

>>9442353
While not succeeding in making me think any differently about women, you have disgusted me from masturbating today. Congrats.

I don't know how I'm supposed to stop myself from becoming the typical r9k/redpill/wizardchan person.

>>9442660
Instead of being yourself, go be a constantly humiliated C-grade normalfag in the normie world, where they treat you like garbage for not being born with social instincts and for being too thoughtful to have shallow brash overconfidence. Then spend the rest of your life feeling bad for being "elitist" when you dislike them for being retarded proles who just want to watch the same Avengers movie sixty times in a row. If you don't like liquid prolefeed, you are a neckbeard autist sperglord who thinks he's better than people. It's only natural that your fake normie friends who tolerate you as their fifth wheel whipping boy should remind you of this when you accidentally lapse into wanting to have fun too, and requiring more intellectual stimulation to do so, by immediately snapping and calling you a pathetic virgin loser.

Remember: The more reflexively pleasant normie society is for normies, and the more reflexively normie society is unpleasant for you, the more you're a bad person who should force yourself to pretend you enjoy it. Because that's what they're all doing too: pretending. They don't actually get constant daily joy from watching the Avengers and talking about what hipster restaurants to go to for all eternity. They hate it too! So they're really admirable for being able to handle it with a smile on their face, and you're actually a repulsive evil virgin neckbeard for daring to not appear to be having maximum levels of fun when they start sharing their prolethoughts about now the NEW iPhone only has ONE button!

>>9431550
Social Anxiety
Sounds like you're self-medicating

>>9442332
My editor just says it's dark and gritty, has never commented on the lolis. She has only read three of my stories though, didn't comment on the similarities at all.

I had to "censor" the novel I published though, which basically entailed of a thorough editing of one of the scenes and then just consistency editing of the rest. She said that a publisher would probably deny it immediately if I hadn't, which I believe.

I READ SLOW FUCK ME

>>9431012
I miss Muck Bulligan.

>>9442176
The hell did you do?

>>9442810
How slow?

>>9442810
same here, it's almost embarrassing

>>9442285
I will be ur gf but only if it requires no effort from both of us like >>9439577

>>9442805
I wouldn't be able to censor myself. When something comes from a place this deep, removing it would be like betraying yourself.

>>9442866
I used to think the same way. But when you're all out of money and you're potentially about to get your book accepted by a nice publisher, and your editor tells you to change a vivid abuse scene into a not-so-vivid abuse scene with the same feeling behind it, just lots less direct description, it suddenly feels a minor affair

>>9431699
I aleays wanted a sister just because I eould love to cuddle with her. You can't cuddle with a brother or a parent but a sister would seem OK. And you can't cuddle with other girls because it is never just cuddling but more.

This morning someone started messaging me who sounded a lot like my old stalker, doing the whole "dropping hints about how much I know about you but refusing to speak straight to be mysterious" schtick, then at the train station someone walked past me singing the woman's part from Eminem's Stan, which is something he'd sent me before so that was creepy. Then I spent the day exploring second hand bookshops and chinatown with this girl who I don't know if I fancy but I like her company. I just came home and my cat's being friendly; I have some beers and it turns out it's probably not the guy I thought it was. The sun is going to set soon, I can see it from my desk. I am warm, inside and out.

>>9432711
The sad thought here is some folks will really have this experience one day

>>9442892
It feels great, to be honest. You can also walk in public places with her while you hold her hand. Then she grab you with her arms while start pressing her cheek against your chest. Finally, you surround her with your arm, dragging her whole body a bit closer to yours.

All this, and nobody gives a fuck. That's the best part.

>>9437779
same.

Mature but still atractive

>>9438532
>Poe

>>9442306

I'm still unsure about the wuwei (if there is anything to be sure). It's just seems that Taoism doesn't push you to discipline and improving yourself, but rather "go with the flow". If you try to go for something else, then you break the harmony etc.

I wanna be horny, but I'm hungover instead.

Thinking about my girlfriend and how weak ive become since i began having feelings for her. I am extremely happy but i feel like i can not have the same intellect i can not be the same rational and cold person and thinking if it is all worth it

>>9442896
have a nice night anon wish u well

>>9441047
Take a xanax man relax

>>9440740
My biggest regret is that ive grown up...the world is just hateful and uniteresting now i miss seeing everything in my own way not being perverted and not being just another sheep in tje cattle

>>9440269
Ooh wish you luck anon!!hope you get the post cheers

>>9431550
literally me, I'd hug you but I'm too anxious and I hate hugging

>>9440232
well it shouldnt be impossible, im sure you can do it and everything will work out just fine for you, you can learn to live accepting yourself and your particularities

It's been very tempting to fall back on self-hatred today but so far I've managed to resist. Feels good man.

>>9439502
can you explain the punchline please??

>>9442913
It makes me so sad that I will never feel such joy and relaxation with a loving sister completely free of thought.
.
.
.
Is there a book like that?

I know I'm drunk bicos my senses say so. cani trust my sensen?

>>9444112

Ada or Ardor by Nabokov

:^)

Used to be able to write essays for class easily. Wrote my own philosophy for a few 100 pages. It's shit but it still feels like this my final stand on all the big questions and problems. Now I can not even be bothered to write 15 page essay. It's simply not interesting enough to concentrate once you have everything set up for yourself (even though you know that it's not the truth or original or especially clever)

i live in a neighborhood where there are a number of college students, and i absolutely hate hearing the voices of happy, excited young people out on a weekend night. it causes me intense pain.

>>9442892
>>9442913
You and people like you with this weird fetish/desire for "imouto-chan~~~~~~" are fucking dumb. Women's farts don't smell like strawberry-colored perfume and they don't necessarily suck their brother's cocks. I have a younger sister and two older ones and our relationship was never like this idealized bullcrap, which I doubt exists in the real world.

I want to have sex with this girl or a girl who looks exactly like her.

I am actually from /fit/ and I'm here because I miss /fitlit/.

>>9442009
Good try, nigger.

>>9444339
Do you feel you are on pol or b? Only low educated persons resort to racist slurs, because their vocabulary is too inadequate to express their viewpoint.

>>9444356
>>>>>>FEDORA TIPPING INTENSIFIES

For the majority of blacks who act like niggers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TshsDStBFdU the name is perfectly descriptive. 100%.

>>9444370

>risking 10 years in prison for ~$100 cash

>>9441805
I mean, you need to have some form of linguistic talent. Learning a second language helps. when I didn't know a word in Spanish, I'd think of a new way to phrase the sentence to have it still make sense.
And it kinda comes further from there. Have you ever learned a second language?

It's a good skill that you should try. You could do French or Spanish to read those literatures in their original language, and the Bible (On /lit/'s list) is translated everywhere so it's a good first read.

I PERSONALLY prefer creative writing to articles because you can have your own style of mechanics usage, punctuation, and so on. (Read Lolita or Huckleberry Finn to see examples) without it being considered "WRONG".

>>9444387
Not even wearing a mask, gloves, or testing his gun properly beforehand. This is a new low even for niggers. If he didn't jam his shit, he probably would have killed the kid afterwards.

>>9444281
I wish I didn't know that feel and I wish I could resist making an Elliot Rodger meme.

>>9444310
What is she like? And why do you like her?

>>9431012
dookie peepee

What rings clarion is the need for congruity on this vexing row. Whilst my own theorem is that each man must arrive at his own denouement that lies atop the apex of the mount of individual discovery that he must clamber atop; sometimes roughly and others smooth, to simply heed every Crier higher on the path calling "Turn away, ere you go down the wrong path" or "come hither, 'tis this way" is an abandonment of one's duty to seek truth undissembled. Yet, by pronouncing such an averment on this resource, would I not be violating my own creed? Shall I become the Crier, now braying "turn from all voices, turn from a chorus of voices; examine the path itself"? No -- I shall catalogue the proclamations of others, and in so doing, annotate the path rather than add another voice to the cacophony.

>>9442810
same. i don't mind. i like having a little extra time to enjoy the sound of language in my mind.

>>9444299
>this weird fetish/desire for "imouto-chan~~~~~~" are fucking dumb. Women's farts don't smell like strawberry-colored perfume and they don't necessarily suck their brother's cocks.
By you really thinking this is was what I am talking about just shows you didn't get at all what I meant.

Sorry you don't have loving sisters then anon or perhaps it is just that you are a toxic kid.

>>9445673
whence does the near whale bacon? XD

>>9444299
I was actually talking about real events of my life. Of course young sisters are humans too, sometimes disgusting, tiring or awkward, but it worth if you have moments like the one I mentioned before.

Little girls smell better than women, desu.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I'll never have an original, let alone revolutionary, thought worth sharing with the world.

I've wandered around all the major ideologies and spouted all the axiomatic speech for them, but after 6 years I'm realising that I've be a mute idiot who hasn't contributed anything but noise to the conversation.

I'm 23 and feel like there was so much time sensitive development between 18-21 that I can never get back, and that I've permanently crippled my life as a result

>>9446670
you mustn't be original.

>>9431527
Kanye was totally right.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIUzLpO1kxI

>>9431012
I can't read for shite, but I can write decently well.

I am off university for 5 months and I'm excited to use my free time to actually develop some skills this summer and most importantly read as much as I can.

I just beat Final Fantasy 7 and didn't like it that much.

Twitter is terrible why can't I stop using it?

>>9446986
I'm the same way.
I read about 5 books a year, though I start and drop probably 20 a year. The ones I do finish, I really like, and they have a lasting impression on me and my writing for months.

>>9446670

Man please, don't say that. I'm 28, and just now I started to discover what I really want in life. You talk about time sensitive development, but you are still in that development, since you now noticed that what you did was not what you should have done. Rejoice! Some people never come to that realisation.

I'm not saying you are destined to greatness, that would be wrong, but you have the potential to steer towards greatness. It won't be easy, nothing is. Perhaps you will never "make it". But is that a reason not to try? No. Your time will pass anyway, wether you try to reach your ideal, or you have decided to just keep floating.
There is no reason not to live your life trying to go for what you desire the most.

Don't think too much about the ideologies. I made the same mistake, finding something that would fit me, that would make me complete. There's nothing there. It's just overthinking. Just work on what is dear to you, and your ideology will be the mirror of your end work.

I love jerking off lmao

>>9447058
stop

>>9442715
I guess so, yeah.

>>9443807
I'm anxious but I love hugs. I secretly wish I could hug every other stranger I see in the streets desu. Especially the women of course.

wall

>>9447216
I miss the interesting art appreciation threads here

>>9447462

There must be a way to circumvent the slavery that Monsanto wants to bring with those seeds.

Where can I find a community of off-gridders in this country?

I need to sow, come this Spring.

Is Dr. Gabriel Cousens full of shit?

>>9431012
i'm so fucking horny

>>9447483
but that's okay my will is good.

>>9439379

Embrace the absurdity.

>>9431012
Is my mother's condition improving a sign of actual recovery from the brink of death, or is this merely the uptick seen just before one dies?

I know the last time we went through this my father hated being reminded of that possibility, and now I am torn between trying to keep his expectations realistic, or letting him try to use this as a respite from his fear and dread.

>>9447594

>>9447594
Do what will give your mom the most normal and happy and wonderful time, no matter how much she has left

God bless anon

I have one simple way to refute and destroy any argument made against me. I am not a prisoner. I am merely taking a very long bow.

>>9431550
hi its me

im not durnk but i have drank

still reading an awful german translation by camus and i just threw up

i havent masturbated in 4 days because i have a weid crush on this german actress

i've had liike 20 beers today, thats literal insanity

also im gonna be so great

once i have a job again i will work like a good worker and one the site write like a good writer

theyre gonna say

his novels are like a painting, yet filled with substance


i wish i knew of an easy way to just end my life desu

>>9447849
image search reveals nothing.
Who is the actress?
>also
Best german film?

>>9447870
That's Aylin Tezel. She's in Tatort. I don't care about her films or shows or acting abilities, I just think she's really really really cute.

Best German Film? I'd say Der Himmel über Berlin. Or, Herr Lehmann.

>>9447896
>Aylin Teze
has she replied to your letter yet?

>>9447935
No not yet. I'll keep ya updated. I feel a bit silly. The letter seemed funny when I was drunk and writing it, now I'm drunk and just think it's pathetic desu

I really wish I'd had a friend to talk and share things with. I wish I could actually talk to people, and have it be at least half as good as I imagine talking to people would be. Without the feeling of alienation, of mutual not-understanding, etc.

>>9431131
It's a viable way of life if you don't mind going the way of Walden Pond.
If you're attached to modern convenience, the only thing I think you can get from it is an appreciation for being a good leader. The dao describes pretty well how to be selfless, let the people you lead take credit for your orchestrations, and to achieve group harmony. This is a pretty good skill to have mastered in this day and age, when ego causes groups to splinter and fall apart.

im supposed to be moving in with my girlfriend next year after 2.5 years long-distance, i already signed the lease, but now im just not sure.

Who has read The Names by DeLillo? I'm almost finished it and I've loved it so far but I feel like there is an abstract element that I'm too dumb to understand. Two of my favorite parts were when Kathryn told James that she got a job in British Columbia and when Peter Maitland was talking to James about his parents.

I'm 25 and I've squandered my intellect. I can neither afford to go to a worthwhile school for a 2nd degree, nor would I be admitted.

Everything I wanted in life was either misguided or a swing and a miss.

Now I either accept a pedestrian existence of an unknowing, lowly corporate automaton, or I pursue self-study in the evenings and weekends at the cost of sharing my youth with others.

Would it be worth it, or have I grown too stupid to adequately gain from the effort? Philosophy holds the answer, but I've no time to find it.

>>9449108
Do what brings you closest to the divine, Anon. That's always the best course of action.

>>9449108
Ayo dis nigga for serious?

Get over yourself, m8

I keep getting high and trying to write fiction but when I do I keep accidentally filling it with phrases that give it a gay subtext on reflection.

I don't know if it's in my head that it seems like a gay subtext which means I've got gay subtext on the brain or whether it actually does read like a gay subtext which equally means i have gay subtext on the mind.

There are a lot of people that are involved in a very serious matter that think they can shrug it off and be above it.

They are in for a reckoning. Sooner or later the wheel will turn.

>>9449073
Honestly it'll be fine just don't be a dick and try your best to get a long. Remember that there are traits and habits you'll discover that annoy you but unless it's anything crazy drastic it normally becomes something you can leave until a later date.
It's worth a shot though because when it works out after a few years it's excellent and really practical. Like if you start doubting whether it's a good idea sometimes just think about the practicality

This anonymous forum is the only place id say with confidence that I'm substantially above average intelligence. But for many reasons I don't believe in such a concept of traditional intelligence. Regardless of my thoughts about intelligence, i feel as if i am wasting my tremendous aptitude and do not see myself obtaining any formal tertiary education nor ever obtaining any meaningful or well paying employment. I see myself being dead by 30, most likely via suicide or an industrial accident

>>9431012

i hate my job and field but don't really see a way of getting out of it without gimping my future career prospects.

>>9449176
Just kill yourself now so we don't have to read your faggot whining for the next seven to eight years

>>9449167
thanks. that's the perspective i've been taking, it's for the best, because either it works and the ldr was worth it and it'll be great, or it doesn't and we finally get some closure and can move on.
its just that ever since we committed to this, i haven't felt that 'close' to her... she hasn't been on my mind, i've found myself distanced from the whole thing. could be a depressive phase or whatever, but could have to do with this. and that doesn't make me feel so great about it - what if i feel like this while we're together? i guess it just feels like a big thing and i'm overwhelmed and i'll get over it

>>9446776
That's pretty depressing to realise

>>9447020
Thanks anon. Its a huge struggle to develop your own identity and voice in these times. Everyone I listen to always has some ulterior motive for what they want me to do. I don't want to end up just as an blank slate for everyone else to imprint themselves on. 4chan is fantastic since everyone is much less biased with their words.

I write a great deal: short stories, novels, poetry, screenplays, and so on. But I never share it on here because I have dreams of getting so much of it published, and especially with the short stories if I were to put it up on here it would be difficult to place in a magazine or to find an agent for it.

So I really do want to participate in the critique threads, but I can't, because I have dreams of grandeur.

>>9449108
I'm in a similar position but younger a bit. How did you squander it? I honestly don't think anyone can waste time like I do.

The replies to your post are shit and of no value whatsoever. What was the one worthwhile thing that you did to combat this squandering of intellect, in your opinion?

>>9447020
Thanks, reading that helped a lot more than the generic "it gets better" advice. It's comforting when someone older also has no idea what to do with their life, etc.

>>9449518
C'mon! Share at least a bit of one of your short stories. Just to get the taste of it.

It saddens me that so few people will handwrite things nowadays. Taking the time to write it out by hand makes you more aware of your words and allows you to think about what you're saying. Additionally, handwriting is enjoyable and even relaxing (at least I find it so). Yet it's increasingly common for people to type everything and even to mock penmanship and handwriting. It's just sad.

>>9431550
>Why does every sincere emotion I have trigger an overpowering desire to drink myself into nothingness.

You're an alcoholic anon, except in this case you're more addicted to the ritual than the practice.

>>9450807

Not my experience at all. Do your friends make fun of you for writing by hand or something?

>>9431012

I'm getting to a point where I feel burnt out by reading. I've barely read anything in the past three months and have started to take more enjoyment out of watching movies instead. I'm wondering if it's a short-term or long-term change.

It probably doesn't help being unemployed. I used to love reading as a way of chilling out after work but now just feel like I want/need to do more active things and reading can't scratch that itch.

>>9450879
>I want/need to do more active things
>>9450879
>watching movies instead
ok buddy

>>9450893

Just me who finds watching movies to be a more engaging experience?

>>9431012
I was just thinking about how I am upset that I asked for an easton press copy of dubliners for my birthday, and when it arrived it turned out to not be "new" as it was listed on amazon when I pointed it out to my mom. It's frustrating because the seller was really shady, they copy pasted a description of the book and then buried at the bottom of the description they noted that "it's new in every way besides the previous owner's name being penned in on the first page". When I saw that I was pissed off, and I immediately filed for a return from amazon. I think that amazon will side with me on this one, I hope. They always do. The seller hasn't responded to me for the past day, but I can always file a claim. Fortunately I called up my parents, who were made aware of the issue when I whispered it in their ear when we were out to dinner with family some time after we were done opening presents, and they were cool with letting me order another one immediately while I wait for the old one to be returned.

I just wish that I could read it right now. The other book I got was Neuromancer, but honestly I feel more in the mood for Dubliners right now, I don't feel like I'm mentally prepared or in the right head space for neuromancer.

There was something else that came to my mind immediately after this thread asked me the question though, and that's hot guys. I really fucking love hot guys, and I was thinking about their taint, their body, the sweaty smell of their crotch and smooth skin caressing the back of my throat while I suck on their penis (I've never had sex sadly, but I can try to imagine what it's like).

I am also listening to From The New World by Dvorak, the Herbert Von Karajan recording. I was just listening to Chopin's Nocturnes a bit earlier.

It's funny how I wasn't really even focused on any particular think when I saw the question asked to me. My mind was sort of bouncing from one thing to another, and I think it really made me realize an interesting moment in my mind, where split attention became very apparent to me. It's funny to me sometimes to think about just how split my attention is using this computer.

How funny is it that we even have computers, you know what I mean? It's sad to me though, because it feels like we're all just being born on the precipice of the actual modern age. There's so many advancements in technology in the coming years, the world will never be the same from this point on. Yet we're just coming out of the era before there was internet. Our children's children will never know a person who didn't know what the internet is. That makes me sad. I wish I could be those children, I wish that I didn't have to deal with the prejudices to the coming technological age by luddites who are still holding on to old values, and not changing with the times. Understanding and knowledge is expanding so rapidly, yet people still hold on to their imbecilic, ignorant old ways.

SORRY

>>9442829
went to her place unannounced
harassed her with texts/emails

I'm distracted. I've got too much of one thing on my mind, and it keeps me from doing anything else. It's about a woman, go figure. I've not been unsuccessful in this field, I've downright failed every endeavor i've undertook. First girl i loved told me she loved me too; gave me kisses and kind words. But she lied. There was another. Second girl I loved, said she loved me and acted like she did for a long time, but she was a liar too. there was another, many others actually.

I'm tired, tired of losing all the time. I just want to succeed here, just once. However, i don't know if I can. I've kept cool around her, proud of that at least. Doubt she knows how worried and torn up I am at this moment. It's at that in between point where you both know there's chemistry, but are still feeling things out.

I'm not exactly her type, physically at least. Amongst friends, she's whispered about the taller and stronger guys around. I'm small, and small. I've got a way with my words though, and that's tugged at her heart. Her former loves didn't know how to talk to her, what to say, but I do. I know I do. And I know she knows it too.

>>9450807
Are you me?

>>9438448
If you do good is good
If you know something is wrong then be honest and try to desist
If you can't, whatever, regrets are stupid

>>9450827
what do I do?

My penis is so ugly I don't think I could ever show it to anyone.

>>9451838
Does it feel uggly?
That is what matters more.

>>9451848
How would it feel ugly?

>>9451054
If your post is anything to go by, you really don't have a way with words

>>9451849
Can it even feel uggly?

How can non-virgins ever be down? You did it- You were special/ valuable enough to get someone to have sex with you. Just remind yourself of this and the act itself any time you are feeling sad. Nobody can ever take that fact away from you. All non-virgins should all be as enlightened as the Buddha.
>>9451838
I know this feeling.

I had a chicken burger. I wasn't hungry but I felt I had to eat something. It's 4 in the morning and I sit on the toilet throwing out watery shit into the bowl. I always get diarrhea eating microwave chicken burgers.

I wonder why eating these burgers and shitting it out feels better than being left half-hungry. pointlessly shoving those into my mouth and doing the opposite with my ass, feels better than pointlessly sitting by, doing nothing. I'm not sure if there is any difference.

The last drop of fecal hangs off of my anus and I remember that my toilet broke some months ago. It doesn't flush that well now. I stand and erratically pull the lever down. pieces of tissue and shit torn by the water spins around in the toilet. they spin and get torn but don't go down. I pull the lever harder and harder several times more but some that has stuck to the bowl doesn't go down.

The lever feels limp. no resistance grips my hands as i pull as if it is disconnected from the toilet. I shut the cover down and sit, and look at the fridge through the door. I kind of feel hungry again.

>>9431012
The room went quiet. 8 people in a box and noone said a word. The first to break it would draw the attention of every eye in the room. Say something smart, say something grandiose and respectable that will earn you their trust, and you theirs in turn. The cogs creaked as my mind began to spin up, slow grinding turned into a hustled a spinning, I had to make it something everyone would benefit from, please everyone in the room. I liked the silence though, the calm of observation and perspective of distance, I could say nothing and it may as might matter just the same to anyone who would've heard me speak. Stay quiet, there's nothing interesting in here anyway, unless:

"Hey has an-"

"So did anyone catch last night's (insert sports reference)"

"Oh yeah amon blank scored a blank against blank and also blank was injured"

This is good. At least I'm part of something.

Someone tell me you like me

>>9451886
normies have no real concept of suffering. non-virgins acting like they're sad or lonely or depressed or whatever is like a child saying he has the worst life in the world because he didn't get the particular toy he wanted.

but everyone wants to pretend they live a dramatic life, so embellishes their often non-existent problems.

>>9452205
I love you