/lit/ - Literature

no he doesn't

you haven't even read it, have you?

>>927214
..uh...yes, he does.

Spoiler Alert

He Dies!

Then he comes back to life!

Then he leaves for heaven.

>>927230
he's not dead, dude. he's just chillin in an alternate dimension right now.

Yes he does you idiot, How do you resurrect something that doesn't die.

Was there a witch or a lion involved somewhere or am I thinking of a different book?

>>927243
>>927230
you two haven't read it

fucking morons, you're really gonna believe the church?

>>927251
???????????? You don't think jesus died? Your reading comprehension skills need improvement. If your implying that he didnt resurrect because religion is false, its a book. He resurrected. Thats like saying frodo didnt destroy the ring because the book isnt real.

Synopsis for you.
God gets bored, creates one super man and one super woman who can both live like 1000 years, they inbreed until we are born and can only live like 100 years.
in the old testament god is a fucked up dude, he's super angry at people all the time, always burning down cities, and leading jews on crazy chases to slaughter armies and women and children alike. pretty brutal shit. he's also big on families killing each other, especially if it's because of a dispute about who has a bigger cock, yahweh or some other god.
anyways, he gets sick of it all and floods the whole world and kills everybody except noah and his family. then he apologizes, says he fucks up, and noah and his family inbreed again until the whole planet is covered again.
anyways, along comes jesus. god has this plan to convince everyone he's the best, so he sends this super powered necromancer jew named jesus along. apparently god has a big boner for jesus cuz he gets all kinds of mad when he gets crucified, even tho he knew it was gonna happen the whole time anyways, and its not a big deal cuz jesus is a necromancer and can get up from being dead, and he can go to heaven anyways.
and in the end, god says he's gonna send jesus back to fuck up the whole world AGAIN, just like when he drowned it, except next time it's gonna be worse, with fire and grasshopper and shit.
oh yeah, and jesus said everyone who believes all the bullshit he says, like about when it's okay to beat your wife and slaves and when it's not, and about turning bread into flesh and eating it and that shit, he says if you believe him you will be able to work magic too. and thats why, to this day, there are idiots in oklahoma who pick up snakes and dont think they will get bit, because they go on about jesus this and jesus that.

CORRECTION:
Then, we ALL die.

And a lot of us are tortured and left to everlasting pain, all according to the "divine" "plan" of this "beneficent" and "loving" deity.

>>927293

>>927311

>>927323
oh man i hope you have the full set

>>927365
>>927357
>>927349
>>927344
>>927332
>>927323

Keep 'em comin'

fin

>>927384
source?

>>927399
>source?
filename

>>927205

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