/lit/ - Literature

Oops, forgot link
http://iwl.me/

>Mac journal software

Turns out William Faulkner writes like Dan Brown

>>916817
That's funny, because Nabokov writes like Nabokov.

Anyway, shut up. I need an ego boost.

"John stopped long enough to take a shit"

>>916827
I'm sure Stephen King wrote that sentence, or a sentence like that

Tao Lin writes like David Foster Wallace

I quoted Nietzsche
"I will make company with creators, with harvesters, with rejoicers; I will show them the rainbow and the stairway to the Superman."

James Joyce.

>>916843
>an English writer whose body of work includes novels, collections of short stories, and musical theatre.
>musical theatre.

>Kurt Vonnegut

I fucking wish. ;_;

You guys realize this is complete bullshit, right? I pasted an excerpt from Ulysses in there and it said I write like Stephen King.

>>916870
Vonnegut's prose isn't even that good anyway. Don't sweat it, brah. You're better than he is! I believe in you!

>>916875
I posted "the sun shines for you he said the day we were lying among the rhododendrons on Howth head in the grey tweed suit and his straw hat the day I got him to propose to me yes first I gave him the bit of seedcake out of my mouth and it was leapyear like now yes 16 years ago my God after that long kiss I near lost my breath yes he said I was a flower of the mountain yes so we are flowers all a womans body yes that was one true thing he said in his life and the sun shines for you today yes that was why I liked him because I saw he understood or felt what a woman is and I knew I could always get round him and I gave him all the pleasure I could leading him on till he asked me to say yes and I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the sea and the sky I was thinking of so many things he didnt know" and it said I write like Joyce.
Fuck you, man. We all need an ego boost once in a while.

FUCK ALL OF YOU

I posted three diferent excerpts and got: Dan Brown, Stephan King, and fucking Chuck Palahahahahafucker, and also some other hack I've never heard of...

feelsfuckingterrible.jpg

Mark Twain is racist.

>>916898
samfag
I am embarrassed to ask, but I got Foster-Wallace, heard a lot about him, but is he commendable y'all?

>>916904
Shouldn't it be HP Lovecraft?

>>916909
Most of /lit/ will say no because he's more recent than 40 years ago, but his prose is actually fairly good and I enjoy his short stories.

>First paragraph: Stephen King
>Second paragraph: Agatha Christie
>Third paragraph: James Joyce
>Fourth paragraph: Stephen King
>Fifth paragraph: Ernest Hemingway
>Sixth paragraph: Stephen King
>Seventh paragraph: Stephen King
>Eighth paragraph: William Gibson
>Ninth paragraph: Stephen King
>Tenth paragraph: William Shakespeare
>Eleventh paragraph: Stephen King
>Final paragraph: Margaret Atwood

ENTIRE STORY: JAMES JOYCE
Diagnosis: Flaming bullshit

>>916927
post the tenth please.

>>916911

thanks, I've been meaning to get around to his work, shame he's dead though.

any recommendations?

>>916927
>mostly Stephen King
Seems pretty consistent to me. Sounds like you write like Stephen King.
I guess when you mix 'em all up, it sounds like flow-of-consciousness.

>>916911
>Most of /lit/ will say no because he's more recent than 40 years ago
This is bullshit actually

>>916934
Girl with Curious Hair for short stories, or Infinite Jest, if you want to jump right into a novel.

>>916935

>>916937
>>916937
isn;t Infinite Jest like a thousand plus pages??

>>916941
Ya. It's like one of the top 20 longest novels

I tried different texts and got Dan Brown, Stephen King, Dan Brown again, Douglas Adams and James Fenimore Cooper.

And not a single fuck was given that day.

>>916929
For bullshit-proving reasons.

It was a few days after she'd come home from the hospital, a bandage wrapped around her waist and a cast on her left arm. Limping. She opened the door to Tiger's dog-smile, his wagging tail. She sat down and he put his front legs on her lap, trying to reach up to lick her face. He gave a bark when she didn't respond or try to push him off, and then began to throughly lick her hand.
"Get down, Tiger," she whispered. The dog immediately sat on his haunches, thumping his tail as he cocked his head and looked brightly up at her.
Slowly, Felicia lifted her hand and wiped away the tears which had been welling in her eyes. She rested her head in her hands, quietly shaking.
The phone rang. She jumped. It rang again and Tiger was on his feet again, dancing over to it, preparing to howl. She stayed in her seat as the dog let loose a series of baying woofs as the phone rang on and on.
Felicia felt something inside of her break. The pain was worse than the slices across her abdomen, longer lasting, perhaps permanent. Immediately, she began to root through her bag. She pulled out a packet of cigarettes and removed one, her hand shaking. She lit it. Inhaled. Hated the taste. Immediately wanted more. Felt calm. Felt angry. Inhaled.
The dog continued to bark and bay at the phone. Looking over at him, she felt nothing but anger. His happiness was obscene. Not to be viewed. To be punished.
She didn't think. The dog was next to her now, barking into her face, laughing at her, mocking her guilt and grief and fear. The dog was evil. The dog was Satan.
She didn't think.
She didn't think.
The cigarette was butt end down on his nose, but it wasn't her hand doing it. It wasn't her hand forcing his head down onto the flaming end, wasn't her ears hearing the sad sizzle and the dog's panicked cries. Wasn't her face smiling.
It was.
She screamed.

>>916958
Yeah man, that even SOUNDS like Stephen King.

>>916943
I guess I should ask:
is it worth it?

>>916969
I wouldn't know.. I NEVER FINISHED THE BOoK!!!

>>916966
Yes, re-reading it caused a shame delete

>>916971
How come??

>>916973
There's nothing wrong with writing like King, his style is interesting.

>>916976
Well, it's just so darn long

>>916981
It's not really that interesting

>>916988
It was before shit writers started stealing and abusing it.

>>916991
Hence, the shame delete.

>>916982
but did the length bore you, or the book itself??

Got Chuck Palahniuk the first time,
William Gibson the second,
Margaret Atwood the third.

I --- I don't -- WHAT?

>>916927
two paragraphs: mark twain
half the doc: margaret atwood
whole page: stephen king

MAKES SENSE

>>916996
It didn't bore me, I just haven't finished it yet

tried pasting in some pages from the dark tower and it identified three of them as stephen king and one as ursula k. le guin

how about that

>>917007
it isnt one of those things were the writer should have just stopped is it?

or rather, is there an essential point to the ongoing page-age?

i write like douglas adams and david foster wallace

is that a good thing?

typed something along the lines of "cbuiadsvl;hsai;vhasdvui;hsdvi;sahviashdv;isahvsauviahsi;vuhasi;vuhas;vui;hads;viusahv;isa&quot
; and got Shakespeare *flex*

I apparantly write like William Gibson.

>>917149
I understand as much from your typing as I do from Shake's.

"This is a sentence about aliens that attack us from outer space."

>I write like: HP Lovecraft

>>917163
i entered the lyrics for gimme da loot and it said i write like gibson too

>if you have a penis, just keep on it. don't cut it off. be happy with your vergeyena. don't get a new one!

>>917186
I wrote about entering a cave to fight a dragon.

It read like something out of an abridged novel.

Anything whole and unpublished entered into this is going to end up for sale in a cheap-ass paperback within a month. Careful, guys.

Since maybe like the Middle Ages, there have been many differing opinions about


hustle and bustle. This cannot be denied. It is my intention to sit down and play video


games for several hours.
First, moving around quickly, and with purpose, is a true sign of character.


Secondarily, bustle(e.g. hustle) yields more product for the working types. “Hustle and


bustle are like my right and left arms,” said Li’l Spicy in his famous “Hustle and Bustle


Are Like My Right and Left Arms” speech. Webster’s defines bustle as “excited and


often noisy activity; a stir.” A stir, indeed. Finally, sometimes gross stuff can be funny.
In conclusion, I, “The Yellow Dart,” think I have done a great job illustrating the


many differing opinions about hustle and bustle, may they both rest in peace. Also, I


think Strong Bad should decrease The Cheat’s allowance.

>I write like H. P. Lovecraft

David Copperfield's opening is written like Charles Dickens. But Great Expectations is written like Jane Austen. Hmm...

FUCK YES IAN FLEMING

I put in "Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?" and I got Margaret Atwood.

Turns out that Kafka writes like Dickens.

>Paste in Doom: Repercussions of Evil.
>I write like Dan Brown!

No surprises here.

>She gently took off her clothes.
>Her naked flesh trembled under his manhood and she shivered.
>But she had a dick and I stopped watching that crappy anime.

>>917459

>She had a dick
>Stopped watching

What are you, gay?

>>916814

>paste in The Penis Was

>I write like
>Kurt Vonnegut

I got Charles Dickens

>Your work is difficult to read

First Paragraph: Billy the Shakes
Second Paragraph: That Bard Guy Again
Third?: Chuck Palahniuk
Fourth: Stephen King
5th: Raymond Chandler
#6: Steve King again.
7: Will Shake-Spear

And in total? King. Weird.

>>/**
>> * Just a simple "boot-strapper". This will set up a GUI >>and run the backend.
>> *
>> * @Author
>> * @rev.0
>> */
>>public class Main
>>{
>> public static void main(String args[])
>> {
>> ExpressionEvaluator e = new ExpressionEvaluator();
>> }
>>}

This got me H.P. Lovecraft!

>Paste in a line of Terry Pratchett
>You write like Stephen King
>Terry Pratchett writes like Stephen King

Gertrude Stein

Who the fuck is that?

I've never read any Nabokov; would you say this is a decen outcome?

>Take a shitty horror story I wrote when I was 15 years old.
>You write like Dan Brown.

I lol'd.

>>917731

Yes it is.

Even though this is probably bullshit, I can't help but feel a slight tinge of pride when seeing this.

I put in two stories I wrote. One was sci-fi in space, the other supernatural horror.

H.P. Lovecraft and Arthur C. Clarke, respectively.

>my face

I got STEPHANIE MEYER

>>919457

lol'd

Tried a paragraph from recently and one from when I was 17, and both came back as David Foster Wallace, and have never read him before. Is this a good or bad thing?

Plus, apparently GK Chesterton writes like Vonnegut ...

http://iwl.me/b/d7939cdb
I write like
David Foster Wallace

>I write like
>H. G. Wells

I wish...

"The herp and derp in the southern suburb were promptly disturbed by a bloodied curb."

>Paste entirety of First chapter of Moby Dick
>I write like Robert Louis Stevenson

>"Gay gay gay gay gay. This is gay. You are gay. Gay men have sex with other gay men."
>James Joyce.
>Makes sense.

>David Foster Wallace


...Pardon my fail, perhaps, but who is this man and is his writing actually any good?

>>919465
LOL'd

also, I got David Foster Wallace

>>919586
Stop getting the same person as me at the exact same time as me, hivemind anon.

>>919584
His writing's great, imo, but if you're going to read him prepare for insane amounts of digression that's hit-or-miss on an entertainment level. His short stories are good, his book and the title essay A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again I'm reading right now and I like it.

>>919465

How did you have the patience to write the word "buttsex" for three pages?

>>919597
I think I might have to look him up~! Wouldn't hurt to check some of his works out, for sure.

>>919605
Brief Conversations With Hideous Men is pretty damn great, Oblivion is a good collection of short stories, I haven't gotten to Infinite Jest yet but it's the more well-known of his two novels. He killed himself in 2008. Bummer.

>>919618
Brief Interviews*
not conversations. Fail. Anyways.

Wrote an incest story filled with terribly purple sex scenes. Got James Joyce.

Lil' Wayne rights like William Gibson.

I don't wanna hang myself

I put in some emenim lyrics and got William Gibson, I've heard of this guy but don't know who he is.

What the shit? I posted the last thing I wrote, which was fucking terrible, and got H.P. Lovecraft.

>>919652
Which is funny, because Gibson was actually influenced by Buckethead, not Eminem

(Not trolling)

LOL I used a Castlevania fanfic I did years ago and it said I write like Bram Stoker.

i posted a scientific paper and it told me i write like lovecraft

>THE ARYAN RACE IS THE MASTER RACE.
>You write like H.P. Lovecraft.

No suprises there.

>THE CELTIC RACE IS THE MASTER RACE
>You write like James Joyce

Once again, no suprises.

>THE SLAVIC RACE IS THE MASTER RACE
>You write like Kurt Vonnegut

Wait, what?

When I seriously approached the test, however, I got results ranging from David Foster Wallace to Isaac Assimov. Huh.

Great link and I just copied and pasted a few chapters from a book.

Vonnegut wrote the Old Testament.

I am woman. I got Jane Austen.

I'm convinced all it does is base it upon a word used, and how often it was used by this or that author, and no other criteria exists for the judgments.

>>919979
What words do you think they would be screening?

I would have thought it was much more simplistic - finding out the average word amount per sentence.

H.P. Lovecraft

>The blood seeped from her vagina.
>She moaned in pleasure as he tazed her.

YOU WRITE LIKE ANNE RICE

>You write like Douglas Adams.

FUCK YES

David Foster Wallace

>put in my writing
>I write like Douglas Adams

>put in: "SUMTIMZ I OPEN MY MOUTH TO PLACE GENTLY PENIS IN."
>I write like Anne Rice

>Harry Potter. Snitch. Weasley. Wizard. Dumbledore.
>I write like J. K. Rowling

I eyed her with a sly little smile.
"Looks like we gotta job to do. 'kay, I take that back. Looks like our job's a fucking bust."
"Yeah," she said. "By the way, where you pick out that little piece of shiny silver joy?"
She indicated the .45 I'd picked off the corpse.
"Bequeathed to me by the Lady in the fucking Lake. Now let's get our asses out the door before Perrami makes good on his sick little fucking wet dream."
"Can't wait to see the fucker's nuts get kicked in when he goes through the door."
"Neither can I."


I write like: William Gibson

>i put on my robe and wizard hat
>J.D. Salinger

>tripods aliens mars cylinder heat ray war worlds of the invisible ray of heat leapt from man to man and each was instantly turned to flame

>YOU WRITE LIKE H.G WELLS!

>fraud.jpg