/lit/ - Literature

i agree 100%

I actually liked that a lot

and bad grammar

I wish I could give to you ev’ry good thing.
A new summer dress and an emerald ring,
A house filled with linens and elegant wares
With servants and maids for you under the stairs.

From the top of your tip to the tip of your toe
The things that you wear would let everyone know
That “There goes a lady,” and “She is a queen.”
If only I could give you ev’ry good thing.

From the top of your head to the tip of your toe
The things that you wear would let everyone know
That you are a lady, a noble born queen
If only I could give you ev’ry good thing.

fix'd

Just beyond the veil of sleep.
Just beyond the water’s deep.
Just beyond the second’s tock.
Beyond the time shown on the clock.

Just beyond the furthest hill,
Beyond the sunset’s glow and still,
Beyond what Man believes and knows
Beyond the things our eyes can show.

Beyond even the dark grave stone.
Beyond the day when last was known
The sounds of wind upon the grass,
The sight of soldiers marching past.

Beyond this bite, this breath, this thought
Creation waits ‘till it has brought
a more concordant hymn to play.
A perfect world on earth to stay.

The hope, the wish, the sought for thing,
Is waiting just beyond, and sings
For us that we might hear and strive
To reach beyond this earthen life.

-500 motive
with zero compatibility
harassed by bullies, mirrors,
greasy off-brand frozen pizza
like some endless vortex of blue water

p_____ stare at me
sprinting through parking lots
they stand in line behind me
cutting off my mindgame
like the hollow of a murdered explosion

i am drowned
like Tails in the Sonic 2 water level
drowning in mud dreams, in p_____
and their adult content
forced to sit in chairs
unable to regulate my forward momentum
as I ascend the stairs

the blanket incident is classified
and even if it wasn't
I would still have -780 motive to explain it
and my keyboard would still be greasy
and my SNES still lost
and showers would still have low compatibility

I had another mud dream last night
7.5 weirdness, 6 fun, 0 scary, 79% recall
Bubsy was there, soaring and sliding
5000 mph with exponentially increasing momentum
then I woke up, feeling greasy
the equation was unsound
adult information surrounded me
mirrors lurked, bullying me

I am forsaken
like a pizza in a world without napkins

>>907124
What the fuck?

>>907124

I would love to believe you really were Nick.

this thread should be fuckin saved

yes it should

bamp for interest

A thousand letter word for thunder pours from the
whites of my broken eyes while my fingers squirm and
burn like a worm thrown into an open fire. The devil
spins a hyacinth from the strands of skin from my
peeling hands and throws it into the dark cold river
that rambles on and on and on and on about how it
was once used for a metaphor for language that
twists and turns and curls and unfurls like a
message from a poem sewn from the bones of a love
that died alone.
A thousand letter word for thunder seeps from the
leaves of the willow tree that drapes its branches
across the horizon, across the desert and plains and
mountains and seas. It's all encompassing, all
surrounding, it's all knowing and never ending This
word descends like a cloud of vultures and rips us
apart limb by limb until all that's left of us is memories that will eventually fade like fever dreams, like the morning before the day, like the day before the storm, like the lightning before the thunder, like the thunder before the word.

I love it.

>>908387
thanks

I am man,
made by God
to shit and piss
on your face.
Whatever you did,
must be bad,
'cause I'm here now.

how the sky is falling down
but you say it's just the sound
of lightning escaping from the clouds
and when the flood waters rise
you just roll your eyes and sigh
and say how dumb is this metaphor
and when the waters fill our lungs
and I can no longer sing this song
you say thank god it's over

in our next life we're strings
on a violin that sings
a love song for no one
and when we finally break
you say it's fate
as we're tossed in the garbage
over time we fall apart
and once again we begin to start
a whole new life again

we come back as lonely lovers
always looking for another
to fill our lonesome hearts
but then we meet again
we think it's by accident
but its happened many times before
we trade secrets like cigeretes
merge together like droplets
on a speeding car window

like the memory of a dream
this moment's fleeting
and unraveling into fragments, into hues
and over time we will fall apart
and maybe next time there won't be a start
for us to repeat this all again
like lightning from a cloud
like a face in a crowd
we're here for a moment then we're gone

>>908377
I read this thinking I wouldn't like it but... nice. I'd expect this to come from an author who was beginning to be published in literary magazines of sort of average popularity. Nothing small but not really The Paris Review either, you know?

>>908415
oh wow
thanks

jenny's eyes like a gypsie's lies
cut right through the night
now those eyes
are another guys
and I'm alone with my pain

Wrote this one some time ago after having a bad day.

Send thine aching spirit; gone
The pestilence of cowardice and shame
Break free from stilled chains,
This evanescence of my soul
Runs down the streams of consciousness
And I am undone.

We stand upon the brittle bones of society,
It's days gone by in shame.

To see another black rose born
And to be gazed upon with scorn
By the Devil's might and hell's ablaze
Fills me with great sadness,
Because I cannot abandon
These sibylline sentimentalities.

So here I suffer,
Perplexed by self-inflicted loneliness.
Ah, such is youthful wanderlust
To worlds not meant be travelled to.

Hai guys, OC here off the top of my head.

We cross pinkies
and shake up and down
I can trust you
As much as I can myself
The promise we made
The secrets we've created
are only as evanescent as melting snow

>>908377
not bad

>>908377

I decided to read yours since others seem to like it, and it was very nicely written. You are great with wordings things, especially the imagery. The ending was great, too, because I felt that powerful feeling as I read the 'thunder' and then it was all gone when I read 'word', thus leaving me with that empty feeling people get after finishing a book.

>>908520
thank you for the feedback!

OP, I agree on your evaluation of your work.
If you need help (hint: you do) you should go back and read the classics: Percy Shelley, Lord Byron, Henry Miller, Anais Nin, and The Poet are some of the best.

bump

>>906995
it's not that bad

>>908858
anything i n particular I should fix?

bump

>>906995

Why are people still writing poetry that rhymes?

HINT: no one has taken it seriously for about a century. poetry no longer rhymes. stop it. stop it.

I will contribute

downstairs
it struck me that I might be a shaman
no one talked

I could see them
I could see them very well

I could hear them cough and had to escape

upstairs
it struck me that I had no right to talk to ghosts
that never talked back

>>910537

because poetry that rhymes and is still good, tells a story, etc. is real art.

poetry that doesn't rhyme is like modern art, it's stupid and boring and anyone can do it.

Everything that he has ever seen
is just a copy of anothers dream
meanwhile his mother screams
that beneath another frozen stream
flows a drop of poison

the bed drinks for the riverhead
disregarding what once was said
while stealing revelations from the dead
that gnaw on its golden thread
holding up his guillitine

what was found is now what is lost
to the skeletons of the coming frost
her gift to him is a cloud of dust
tossed down from his brothers cross
that he wont ascend from

frustration hits its holy home
beneath an empire above a bone
through a poet who paints alone
a matinee that once had shown
a world full of color

I've has seen the frayed and broken day
shattered across a winters May
where empty words begin to prey
on those ripped apart by a pack of strays
these things happen

Everything that he has ever seen
is just a copy of anothers dream
meanwhile his mother screams
that beneath another frozen stream
flows a drop of poison

>>910549
You should probably go ahead and talk to ee cummings, pablo neruda, william carlos williams, emily dickinson, sylvia plath, etc...

you suck you fucking 16 year old fag

>>910549

Poetry is an art form. It is undefined. What seems like crap to you might seem like a masterpiece to someone else. Just because a poem rhymes or is written a certain way does not make it better than others.

>>910625

there is plenty of excellent unrhymed poetry, i don't deny that. but in my opinion, poetry is meant to demonstrate mastery of the language. rhyming while doing so only increases impressiveness.

>>910662

>in my opinion
>laughing_women.jpg

srsly stop. stop.

Writerfags on 4chan are devoid of worth
Crumbs and stains litter their girth
Their joy unmatched as they attempt to birth
A new writing that will soon shock this earth
They copy and paste it full of mirth
To a place where the amount of quality writing is dearth

>>910669

oh shit, my bad, i'll stop since you told me to bro

>>910662
yea just stop

your argument is invalid because, well, just because

>>910625
and it's poetry is a art

im a rear wheel on the wagon of time
moving along, take a kneel
stay in line

came up with it just there for the thread. might write more in a minute.

>>910704

>and it's poetry is a art
I don't comprehend.

>>910662

Fair enough. It is your opinion, so I won't argue with that.

>>910713
can I get some opinion on this?

Echoes from a wandered path
The bird has walked
The sky kas split and the clouds they retain
They certainly hath
The same quality white they had when I left
The same fluffyness, the floating bereft
The days behind, and the days I have left

Thanks!

bamp

>>910730
>>910713

Be sure to look over the spelling mistakes before you post. I think the 'hath' is kind of misplaced and disrupts the flow of the poem, as does 'fluffiness'. Edit those parts and I think the poem will sound very nice.

>>910780
thanks a lot! I haven't had a go at poetry in ages haha.

Echoes from a wandered path
The bird has walked
The sky kas split and the clouds they retain
They still have
The same quality white they had when I left
The same freedom, the floating bereft
The days behind, and the days I have left

better?

>>910830

It's always good to write, I think. It lets your mind wander and think a bit.

>>910844

How about:

The sky kas split and the clouds they retain
They still have that same quality
White they had when I left

I dunno, something about that 'quality white' part seems a little off as well.

>>910853
I'll do a couple drafts of it. thanks for the input.

>>910868

Your welcome, good luck!

As twilight's tempest lingered on, and argent winter reared its head,
I viewed the brittle, broken limbs of fading trees -- such fragile things!
A jagged, ragged landscape rose against my freshly prostrate form
And cast an icy spell of tempered squalls upon my mind.

As dusk's despair persisted, till consumed by resonating jet,
I rose beyond the feeble needs I hungered for -- such fragile things!
I screamed my woeful, wretched rage into that evanescent eve,
Though still I sought to light, despite the night progressing forth.

At evening's dank inception still I fought, a feeble mockery,
And though my core burned bright my plight, my fright, was fragile too!
A meager, eager tragedy of sentimental majesty,
I poured my newfound misery into a coruscating blaze,
A final, primal echo, one that left me wan, beleaguered, dazed,
And cast upon that landscape just a pall, a flick'ring lambent haze,
A dusky, dusty tapestry of russet browns and subtle grays
Soon swallowed by the sheer destructive symphony of winter's gaze.

'Just not my night, I guess,' I sputtered, weak, exhausted through and through.
' 'Twas quite a fight my sallow friend, but this, like all, has gone to you.'

As argent winter rose, looked on, ascending to the heavens bright,
Her craggy visage dripping tears of light to 'luminate the night,
I gave in to the stress, the press, the wicked might of her delight,
And 'neath the gray horizon sank, and so was doused -- a fragile thing.

Who will eat the world
When it has finally grown ripe
And falls from its branch?

Ride Home/Prelude to a Train

I waited at the bus stop
watching the soulless cars pass
before a bus emerged
from the tar desert
and came to rest at my feet
It opened its gaping mouth
a mandible of unfeeling steel
I entered the beast’s belly
tagging its tongue with my pass
And as I made my way to my seat
I felt the pairs of glassy,
lifeless eyes follow me.
To my left sat a young girl
A pretty face oblivious to all
but the screams of death
in her ear.
To my right sat an old man
A weary face oblivious to all
but the torment of regret
in his mind.
To my front sat a young boy
A tearful face oblivious to all
but the calls of love
in his heart
To my back sat an old woman
A wrinkled face oblivious to all
but the laughs of doubt
in her eyes

And in the window I saw
the herds of flesh and steel
being corralled into pens of tarmac,
the smouldering sun pointing
and laughing with its arms
at these flies on a carcass

And in the reflection I saw
my own face, blank and oblivious
yet to feel the ink of Their pens.
Will I have a pretty face?
A weary face?
A tearful face?
Or a wrinkled face?
But I only hear the screams
of death in my ear, the torment
of regret in my mind, the calls
of love in my heart, the laughs
of doubt in my eyes.
Please…
Let me not be a bus.

And the bus came to a stop
ejecting me from its lifeless
jaws. So I waited for it
to submerge into the desert
and made my way home/before catching the train.

>>910878

Beautifully written, and very powerful.

written for a girl, given as an "ode to a classmate" in front of like 20 ppl + her...
she loved it so it worked. inb4 banal,trite,etc..
it is what it is and it served its purpose, i know its shit(give me a break im 18)

Though I'm dazed and confused and im floating
Through the haze I'm amazed i can see
That a girl from my dreams is awoken
I wake up but she still doesn't leave

All the time I spent with you was golden
Every rhyme draws a line in the sand
On a beach thats been swept by the ocean
wash away, dont forget who I am

When I see you its like I've been frozen
Helplessly I retreat to my mind
To find words that already are chosen
beautiful, beautiful, shes sublime

Now the weeks dont go by like September
As the streaks of the rain stain the ground
You're the person I'll always remember
You're the rainbow when grey gets me down

>>910894
i really like this <333

>>910713
i like it, feels existential :)

looking down i noticed that your pink flesh
became bloodless beneathe the black curls
all in a flash i felt hungry i wanted to drink some milk it almost felt like i was in a desert i was so thirsty
your cunt was like in the summer when it is so hot that you see the heat it distorts the air like a rift in the fabric of the universe
your rift, your cunt
my love

>>910600

First part has something. The rest I didn't read.

Why is the dick so small?
I can't feel him at all
And if this is this in this ends
my brush of death at his hands
Why are our eyes fixed on grief
when with wit and shores unshift
his dick so small it tears out mine
hold together now in hearts combine