/lit/ - Literature

>>9034180
I'd tell you but it's theft-worthy

I figure my editor will make a strong suggestion

>>9034180
love, adornment and the things I will never understand.

A Soul In Ev'ry Stone

my diary

>>9034210
desu?

>>9034180
Dear Laurel

>>9034190
Sounds gay desu

>>9034186
>doesn't have a title that encompasses the story it precedes and allows meditation on its many meanings, as well as capturing the attention of possible readers
Get this mophead outta here

>>9034180
Molotov Cocktails on a Thursday Afternoon

A Treatise on the Implications of a Crashing Noise

>>9034301
that is a very cool title.
would make me pick up the book in a bookstore.

>>9034305
Want me to post the first line?

The Jewel That Smashes the Hammer. Came to me in a dream.

>>9034308
go for it.
or post a random paragraph. I always flip to a random page in a book.

>>9034310
This is the opening:

Waking up to a loud crash rarely means something good is happening. It’s never “CRASH! Mom made pancakes!” or “CRASH! We decided to adopt a Golden Retriever!”

>>9034309
ngl, pretty damn cringe.

>>9034309
Is this a Jojo reference?

>>9034311
Mmm. Needs work, sorry.

>>9034182
A guide to shoplifting?

I'm not Retarded, It Was Just a Loose Wire

Faster Than The Speed Of Love

MODOS Drive

With Alms Tucked In

Veil Ripper

The Agony of the Melancholy of Being: A Tale of Tangled Hearts

>>9034343
Pseudo-intellectual cringe tier

>>9034325
>>9034331
>>9034335
Cringe tier

>>9034308
Kek

>>9034348

Well, what do you suggest to follow MODOS?

Euracyclon
>>9034338
Has a good jingle to it, nice.

>>9034343 Because you're intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humor.

>>9034180
Why I hate Niggers, Spics, and Jews and how you can too.

Mannequin in the Mirror

>>9034445

First good title in this thread.

>>9034348

I love you too

Crash

Wrath of the wallabies

>>9034809
just look at all that wrath

>>9034186
do not despair senpai, over 100k words into my novel and I still don't know what to call the bloody thing

>>9034445
Oprah book club tier

Unlimited Joke by Dave F. Waller

>>9035000

Trips prove that this will be a best seller and a must-read for all /lit/nerds and and hipsters for the next 30 years.

The Colossus and the Flower

Cold Cu(n)ts

Spaghetti Fire

A Social History of Defenestration

Gnu are You?: A Fictional History of the Hypno-Sexual Relationship Between Slavoj Zizek and Richard Stallman: Volume I.

Quack Quack: A Duck's Story

>>9034311
Reddit as fuck

Letters From Tehran

Full Mental Anaerobic Workout, Vol. II

Donald Dickmancer and the Berries of Dingle

The Loneliest Hamburger

>>9034284
Com'on, I know it's bad, but I didn't think it'd be this bad.

>>9034311

You're writing for teens, right?

>>9035188
I would read this

Eternity in His Paws

>>9035282
>>9035000
>>9034325
>>9034187

I don't know whether to laugh or cringe

Series: Dynasty of Storms
Book 1: Rising Thunder

>>9035363
I choose laugh, at you specifically, because you can't tell that 2/4 of those are jokes.

Sloppy Shits and Golf

>>9035378
>2/4
Are you merely pretending, or is it me who doesn't get the joke?

Year of the Silkworm

>>9035422
it's 1/4 or 2/4 the only ones i truly believe are the first and last

>>9035437
They're all jokes. The only one that's believable is the third.

Thriving on crumbs

A Thousand Stars Below

>>9034180
I fantasize about ripping out the intestines of women that I find mildly annoying and crawling inside of them in a strictly Asexual way

>>9035443
That last one is certainly within the realm of common desperation.

>>9035464
>>9035430
>>9035301

Quite like these

Slow Dawn

Misaki, or how to disappoint your parents

Apathetics Anonymous

>>9035472
When i said 2/4 were jokes i meant the first two.I can easily see some of the posters here thinking the last two are good titles

Zero

>>9035472
It's like /r9k/-the title, in a pretty obvious way.

Potpurri

>>9035540
I really like this one.

>>9034284

>not Molotov Cocktail Hour

>>9034180
The Hundred Thousend Songs of Michabrepa

>>9034301
I got the reference.

>>9035587
>using a pun as a title
stop

>>9034311
is this actually from a novel, or did /lit/ come up with this on their own?

>>9034311
>2017
>Not thanking god for having witnessed the greatest opening line before posting it on a chan


KYS

>>9035301
Who is Tehran?

>>9035670
I believe it's from something by John Green.

>>9035188
Necrophilia and cannibalism? Sign me the fuck up.

It's called "chains". And it's more of a long ass poem than a novel

The working title of my short film screenplay is "Island Hopping"

>>9035708
it's a 1,134 page stream-of-consciousness novel told from the perspective of 'Jason's Deli Meat' employee.

>>9034180
Éamon Callaghan: A tale of suffering

Zelgor and the return of the comblongons to the republic

Disgust: A Treatise in Eleven Chapters

When I Touched Shoulders With The Other

>>9034331
hey brian

Boffing the Big Buford

>>9034186
that's a long one

The Two Novels I'm Working On:
>Divine Wind
>The Fall of The Matriarch (Supposed to a nod to the Marquez novel)

Poetry Collection
>The Lives of Three Emperors, All Named Caesar, and the History of Their Empires.

Pretty cringe desu

>>9035944
>The Lives of Three Emperors, All Named Caesar, and the History of Their Empires.
The Good
>The Fall of The Matriarch (Supposed to a nod to the Marquez novel)
The Bad
>Divine Wind
The Ugly

pillars around walls

>>9034311

That's freakin' awesome, oh wow! That's legitimately hilarious, if that was the first sentence of a book I'd want to read more immediately. Sweet!

>>9035670
>>9035346
>>9035288
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE newfags out out out

>>9036504
cringe

>>9034180
Final Fiction

Prolet

Jerking Off is Hard To Do
When All I Think About is You

its a collection of poems about beluga whales the unsexiest fish in the sea

>>9034180
AAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAh
Placem i tugujeeeeeeem

>The Fauna and the Foam
Already finished. Currently sending it to publishing houses. It's quirky magical realism.

>The Christian Bookclub
Currently writing it. It's pseudo-Pynchonian horror so far, but I think I'm still to give it more comic twists.

Autism: Road to Enlightenment

>>9034311
Holy...I want more...

Fraggle Rock Exposed: The Dark History Behind the Beloved TV Series

Ti sbrego il culo a suon di cazzo

From Poo Poo Pee Pee to Neechee

Ching Chong's Guide to Racial Epithets 2017 Edition

Ti sbrego il culo a suon di cazzo

>>9037256
Kek

>>9037278
Ti sbrego il culo a suon di cazzo

>>9034404
People call me the puzzler because after an encounter with me they leave questioning everything they have ever believed.

>>9037167
A history of 4chan

>>9034180
Pendulum

ugly by nature.

it's a reference to a quote by the french modernist sculpture auguste rodin, "To the artist there is never anything ugly in nature."

the mc is a failed sculptor cum cuckold struggling with a decision to drop a lifetime bromance with his mate who wants to do a wife-swap with him.

keep your eyes peeled for it in about 50 years time, somewhere in your grandchildren's school curriculum. i'm going to be this generation's kafka.

>>9038431

>cum cuckold

The Mezzanine

>>9035287

Foreward: by Leader Shabazz

Chapter 1: Quackers, those blue-eyed, devils

Chapter 2: Honky, the unfriendly white goose

Chapter 3:

>>9034180
The screaming dove

>>9034324
Kek

What They Brought Down From the Mountains

>>9035670
It's literally plebbit.

>>9034180

>And Lucifer Wept

Wild at Shaft

the milky advocate

>>9034180
Survivors

simple enough, i googled the title and no other books showed up except some cringe teenage series about wolves or sum shit

mines a bit more serious tho desu so i figure i should just keep it serious and concise without elaborating too much. i want this to be informative and a bit emotional, so super cringe is a huge no no

>>9040082

English Grammar for 13th Grade

Sweet Stuff

>>9034180
Spooge on the Moon: A Mortarman's Guide to Mastering Sexual Artillery

>>9035944
>>9035953
>The Fall of The Matriarch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iZWFEFwgBw

Surfing for puss, and the tide is high

>>9040664
reeeeeeeeeee

Ti sbrego il culo a suon di cazzo

The Tainted Turd

>>9034180
Cold pasta, hot sauce.

>>9034311
ew

Dubliners: by James Joyce: by Anon Anonymous

The Man who Jizzed Lava
My Father's Story

>>9034180
गतिरोध!

Following parts are titled in German, Navajo, Latin, French, and then English.
Book's in English, so I know that that title'll never make it to print- but then, neither will the book, so whatever.

>>9034180
THIS WORLD IS RULED BY SOMETHING NOT HUMAN

>>9034180
Blone

Death's Embrace

>>9034180
I took a horse dick up the ass

The Mile-long Melancholy

Behold, a Man

The Hero Drowns at the End

Ragnarok: Niggers in Asgard

>>9035679
Whats the greatest opening line?

Farts of Darkness

Clockwork

>>9034180

The Misshapen Turnip

>>9035301
>>9035430

These could actually be published

>>9042195

This is the only actually good title

I published a novella called 'Young Boy's Heart', but I'm republishing it under a different format and I need a new title.

The basic premise:

Henry, a middle school boy, falls in love with a girl in the year above him and after a series of unfortunate events, including getting severely beaten by bullies, he gets the chance to confess his feelings to her, but is rebuffed without reason; unfazed he refuses to give up on her until he finds out why.

It's high school romance/slice of life genre.

The book is aimed at the young adult audience, but most books in that category have really campy and edgy titles, like 'Perfect Chemistry', 'Crescendo', 'Marked' or 'Reason to Breath'.

I want something marketable, mature, but not too complex a young audience will shake their heads at.

I was thinking 'Unrequited' but most 13-21 year olds don't even know what that means, its also a bit bleh. Or 'Three time's unlucky', but its a little long. The story is a little bit of a love triangle, so maybe that is a good angle.

It's just frustrating because I don't usually write romance and I just can't think of something good...

>>9042655
Judging by the title I thought it was something gay, judging by your description it is just as I suspected.
>I was thinking 'Unrequited' but most 13-21 year olds don't even know what that means
Understand your audience before you target them. A good number of 13-21 year olds do know what unrequited means and if they don't then let your book be the gateway to a better vocabulary.

>>9042670

Thanks, got any ideas for titles?

The girl's name is Nerissa, so I thought maybe just putting that as the title - boom, done. Or maybe something Nymph, but that has sexual connotations.

Why is it so hard to come up with romance titles?

>>9034180
tl;dr
>>9041276
(it's more like a shitposting antholgy though)

>>9042716
It is hard to come up with romance titles because there are more than likely a million romance novels and it is easy for your title to slip into obscurity in that sea of Fifty shades of gray knock offs and "Midnight Kisses" titles. I like the Nerissa idea. Nerissa pops.

>>9042729

I like it too but I just googled it as a title, is something like this going to be an issue?

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10927961-nerissa

I don't know what the copyright laws are regarding having similar titles to other books.

>>9034180
Spirals

>>9042743
Yeah I actually looked myself and there is a title called "Nerissa: A Modern-Day Romance" I would scrap that title and just wait for something to come to you. Unrequited is a good title but think on it.

>>9035944
>The Three Caesars

Long titles put people off.

The Juniper Berry

Hardly Soft: an Investigation into the illusive forms of erectile dysfunction.
I gave up on capital letters half way through.

>>9042782
kek

Pokémon Training; or, The World's Oldest Career

>>9042655
Call it something like "Letting Up" or "Not Letting Up" because of his persistence and also that she is higher up than him, age wise.

>>9042773
I love the word Juniper

but

i HATE the word berry

Aesthetics of a Massacre

>>9042744
I like it

Selfapologetics

Insomniac Dreaming
probably cringe tier but I've had the idea in my head for years and I'm just now writing it down.

>>9042878

'Letting up' is an idiom though, which is sometimes lost on non-natives. Thanks for the suggestion though.

>>9042748

I was thinking Pursuing Nerissa or Chasing Narissa, maybe some other synonym.

Crime & Crime

It's a crime thriller

>>9034180

Limbo, City Lights and Paradise

Nathaniel

>>9043333
nice trips btw

High Brow Killer

it's basically Batman (Richboy or upper middle class dude)but he kills people and believes himself to be superior to all those around him. Well almost all . The people he kills vary from actuall criminals to people whose moral code offends him.

>>9043440

It's been done.

You could change it though, a richboy killer who goes after white collar criminals who escaped the justice system. Think bankers and investment types who ran shady schemes and escaped swindling millions.

Now that is something I would read.

>>9043501
>uses racially charged language regarding an author whose works he'll never match

yeah good one

Cola's Crazy Life

It's fucking stupid but I like it.

>>9043542
Also, the title of my upcoming memoir (to be written once I have performed active service, and hopefully contracted PTSD a few times -- for the legitimacy):

The Winebath

It will be a defence of the Dionysian in the face of total violence. It is a subtle play on words because it involves wine instead of blood.

>>9034348
Faster than the Speed of Love is the title of the book Brian wrote in Family Guy.

>>9043549
The book will be a dusky black, and there will be a stylised bathtub in gold upon it, and within will be red, and pink steam shall be rising from it. I have already determined my pseudonym (which shall be the same as my nom de geurre when I found my PMC and topple a few central African governments in return for mining and military rights).

Der Getalgente

Rotwelsch (German criminal-speak) for 'The Hanged Man.' A subtle allusion to Nietzsche having referred to himself as 'Der Gekreuzigte' ('The Crucified One')

>>9043549
>subtle

>>9043588
Clearly, too subtle for you.

The Dullard Fantasies

>>9043570

I like it.

>>9034180
Strange Stars

Ego Porn

Drassil
The Mad Four
The Lost Forest
A Red King

The Invention of Suicide

>>9043420
They were quads, idiot. It's important.

>>9043345
Oooooooohh, SPAGHET!

It's a book of pasta recipes.

>>9044084
Fuck yeah!

>>9044096

I like this.

Unending Joke

>>9034182
>>9034324
A Kleptomaniac's Regrets.

>>9034335
sounds /m/ as all hell t b h with you, famillia

>>9042765
I like longass titles

>...And All This For Only 14.99!
Clearly very descriptive of the actual topic i'm writing about

>>9034180
three on teal

Three of A Perfect Pair

Mis4chan

Miss Communication

Oona

The Unexpected

Disparate Men

Alligators and Hippos

Mr. E.

Popping Bubblewrap

Symphony's End

The Body and Blood

Guaranteed

I Left My Wallet in Detroit

my diary desu

>>9045177
also my racist trip to japan

>>9045220
>I Left My Wallet in Detroit
this one i actually like

>>9045232
Thanks! It's from a poem I wrote that has the line:

I left my heart in San Francisco
and my wallet in Detroit

DICKBUTT

Pleasing the Pope

The Salty Courtesan

Saint Candy

Barry Stole My Gum

Sandmaker's Dilemma

Waves that Crash

I Couldn't See the Dark

Liver and Onions

Hedgehog

Sympathy for the Lord

Crimes Against Humanity

Tadpoles on Steroids

The Metamorphosis of Gerard Butler

Post-Pre-Modernism

Toponeka's Decree

My Uncle Raped Me, pt. 2

>>9045431
Bizzaro lit worthy

The pig that was actually a man
Jesus did cum in this cup
Hes name was joe, then it wasnt
The sun
She got some flaps right there, shes me wife
Uncle austin taught me things
Fin

>my fantasy book
Lancaster's Dreams

>my science fiction/romance book
The girl who fell from the sky
>that one's pretty bad but i like the novel

>my religious/post apocalyptic novel
Armaggedon Days

No joke.

Being Yourself, and Other Ways To Stay Single

My ass hurt, but in a good way
How to ride a goat
Naked tooth
Blame it on Frank
Wheres the remote?

>>9034180
Wherein the events that concern this tale are written and other references to Don Quixote.

One Hundred Billion Years of Solitude

The Legacy of Totalitarianism in a Taiga

>>9034180
Hollow

>>9042670
>>9042878
>>9042729
>>9042748

Did a mock-up. Thoughts?

>>9045654

Opacity fail.

The fractal peanut

Seriously

D-vitamin

I use to be a poodle

Einstein lived over there

Frankly, who cares?

>>9045627
>Aureliano dieciseis mil quinientos dos

The Journal of an Air Giver

>>9045675
General, coronel, comandante, sargento, cabo, etc

>>9045602
I keked a little

Elvis is alive

Im willing to be taught

Pimk

When does this moron pay me?

>>9042019
Homo, ecce flaming homo

>>9042881
I love berry but hate juniper
maybe we can do some peanut butter chocolate thing and itll all work out

>>9044096
>hey guys i tied my rope all dumb

>gweeegwdfghh

>im dead!

>guys its suicide im da vinci! lemme tell errbody

>gweeegwdfghh

One Day In November

It's about the 2016 presidential election.

>>9045949
You could make a sequel called
That Other Day In January

Residents of the Scheme

>>9034311
Top fucking kek, this can't be the original poster, the title is too based and this is too cringe

Novel
>Svanberg
It's about a bourgeois 20-something-year-old and his escape from ennui. His journey consists of grey concrete commie blocks, pastoral forests and deserts.

Hymn for the Integral

A Flag Flown Aurelian

Worldborne: The Blue-Green Tragedy

A Product for the Cross or Original Sine
(there is a second pun here, STEMlords may see it)

Humor not Limited by Quantity

I Feed You Rice Pudding at the Benefit Concert

Raindrops from Emma

WIP:
-DVD Nation
-Nemeses
-Jakannes

Awaiting development:
-A Short Anecdote About Things
-P.O.S.T.

>>9034180

The Good, The Bad, and The Snugly.

The premise is that four SJW's travel back in time to the Wild West to smash the patriarchy. After the non-binary trans-black friend is brutally raped and scalped by natives, the remaining three are forced to reconsider their fragile positions in a harsh world.

>>9046436

I like the premise, but not the title.

>>9046441

Well, I did have an alternate title going the round in my head. Something like Blood Meridian, or The Evening Redness in the West.

Kids with guns
.
It's about kids... with guns

Gigalenin

(It is about lenin return from his enbalmment and expanded into cyberspace by russian computer hackers to form class consciousness creating global communist revolution)

Sequel called trotskynet

>>9045949
Just call it November.

>>9046089
Bullshit he escapes it. How?

Poz Americana

>>9046482
Sound like the unwritten side of Bleeding Edge.

Dirty Horse

Pokerface without a face
.
It's gritty
.
Running league, dry Amsterdam
.
This canary got some serious fangs
.
Black hole bastard
.

>>9045948
kek.

>>9045654
Dude... Call it Mock Up. It's like, he gets mocked, he's trying to get someone above him, AND it's like... Something about coming of age and the self not being finished yet.

>>9046658
AND it sounds kind of like Muck Up, which is kind of, you know, about being an awkward teenager.

dead niggers

The Girl on the Submarine
...
It's kind of like "Gone Girl" and "The Girl on the Train", but different because it's underwater.

>>9034180

Somewhere I belong

the drinker

>>9035288
>>9035346
>>9035670
>>9040952
newfags

>>9035574
It's "Pout-pourri"

The Black Dog. It's about depression.

>>9047367
It should be about heavy metal

Violence, Briefly

Legacy of the Fallen Star: The Price of Revengence: Origins

Bitter Marmalade

>>9034180
At Least It's Sunny

>>9046494
He doesn't, or at least that's what he thinks. His journey is for him, like being stuck in a fauvism painting. Everything is vivid, colorful and because of this he sticks out like a sore thumb until he manages to fade into the canvas.

Testicle Shitters from Beyond

The Time Repair-Man

or

The Time Mechanic

I can't decide which is better.

>>9048561
Go for "The TiMechanic" desu

>>9034180
The Common Law

>>9034180
Cleopatra's vertebra :)

Baalzebub - essentially ripping of Levithan and Met.

>>9045124

The /m/ might come in if I write a sequel

>>9045250
i left mine in El Segundo

>>9049493
ok q tip

70k words into my novel and i still don't know how to call this shit.

It's about an autistic edgelord and his obessive waifubait.

>>9049710
An Unrecantation Regarding Romantic Promiscuousness

>>9049769
: The story of an /a/ edgelord

>>9049710
Why not Waifu?

metrics of valor

>>9049802
The story is about the edgelord and how he supposed to improve himself from worthless death-wishing edgelord to a better person and a family man with the help of his waifu..


Untill he die at the very end, his daughther is gone and his autistic waifu go ballistic instead.

It's also fantasy. MC is halfdragon.

Have a name for that shit?

>>9034180
Barrel Roll

It's an autobiography

Ultimate historia

Breaking the Dreamskull: A Guide to Dissolving Metaphysical Assumptions

Things I cannot see: Bees, Wind, Nothing

To Kill a Weaboo

>>9046382
>raindrops from enema

Cantria

>>9045949
You could also call it "Wake Me Up When November Ends: Liberal Nutcase Edition"

>>9048561
Clockfixer. Sounds like a cool profession, like clcokmakers.

>>9049831
Man without Tendies

>>9034180
Contro al cieco fiume.
It's a Dante quote. Translates roughly to "against the current", and it's how the Poet describes exiting hell and reaching purgatory.

>>9034180
Giv me d dic pls
a commentary about the current culture of america

>>9049831
Call it "2D"
Or even "Not 2D"

City of Shame

Moons of Fire

Transitional Man

>>9048561
>>9050376
In fact, The Clockfixer sounds even better imo. It implies time already.

Magic and Irresponsibility

>>9036648
Nice desu

>>9034180
Circle of blood

wait for it...
NOSTALGIA TRIPTYCH

>>9049831
I honestly like the idea of using the whole Waifu term, because it's niche but also not really. Anyone could look it up but it has a sort of unusual presence in the title of a book.

I'd call it Waifu or The Waifu Project or some such.

I'm torn between Exile or Banishment, but I'm actually looking for a word that also conveys volition.

Artifact Mode