/lit/ - Literature

>small boy walking through philly in a howard beale like fugue state
>finds his way to the liberty bell (idek where it is)
>mends the crack. doesn't fill it, literally just erases it, defying entropy
>???

>>8577187
>son of an aristocratic russian family is introduced to society
>all the characters he meets will be his inspirations growing up
>they all turn out to be bad influnces in different ways
>deluded by everyone he leave to join the fight against a terrorist organization
>in his time as a soldier he finally managed to mature and becomes a man
>dies stepping on a mine

>>8577187
>2053
>Cyborg police detectives become a thing
>Girl cyborg detective investigating a murder
>Unveils a massive government coverup instead that leads her to question her belief system and the very nature of her existence

>>8577187
>Slice of life, otherwise uninteresting, that exemplifies the human condition

>>8577274
It better have fuckin amazing prose my man

>Girl is a drug addict
>Dies.

>>8577187
>people living in idyllic community
>some are the masters
>they look like normal people and live forever
>other people are somewhat doglike w piebald coloration, etc.
>they do not live forever
>they are bread for different purposes
>strong for labor, aggressive for security, tiny little miniature people for pets, intelligent but loyal for performing complex tasks
>these mortals serve the immortals
>the immortals are relatively limited in number and serve different leadership roles in society, kind of like a pantheon of gods
>protagonist is one bred for doing engineering work.
>intelligent but has problems with discipline
>repeatedly gets into trouble and fights, and is considered a candidate for "therapy"
>his physical appearance is unlike any other mortal
>jet black skin, whit spot on forehead
>He is sent to do some task at the home of one of the immortals, the Epicurator
>Epicurator is in charge of planning the sensual delights for the other immortal masters
>His home is filled with odalisques -- basically mortals who have been bred to provide pleasure
>While working there, protagonist encounters a female with a similar appearance to himself
>Pursues her out of curiosity
>This infuriates Epicurator who demands that protagonist be punished
>protagonist is sent for therapy
>therapy involves neutering him
>just before he gets snipped, the procedure is cancelled
>he is told to report to the head Eugenicist
>Immortal in charge of the breeding of the mortals
>Makes protagonist his apprentice.
>explains to him the breeding program by which the mortals are selectively bred for certain physical and behavioral traits
(Russia fox breeding experiments)
>protagonist continues to be curious about the odalisque he saw who resembles him
>gradually learns more of the history of the world...

>>8577309

That sounds genuinely awful. Probably overwritten with 80K more words than it needs too, judging by your post length.

>>8577309
Part 2
>sometime in the past scientists accidentally created a nanotechnological virus
inb4
>that causes immortality
>it's a sexually transmitted disease
>once people are infected, the virus is incurable
>once you have it, you live forever
>can't die from old age, disease, violence, nothing
>If you get a disease, you may suffer the symptoms but you won't die
>even if you head gets cut off, you'll keep living
>gradually the world descended into chaos
>people wanting immortality would do anything to be infected
>people raping other people in the streets to get the disease
>babies born with congenital immortality
>earth's population balloons because there is no turnover
>nobody dying
>resources consumed at accelerating rate
>whole world is becoming india
>a group of infected elites -- billionaires, scientists, politicians -- decided to leave earth behind to live in a space station with a small group of uninfected humans
>They set up their new home
>rules are that no one is allowed to infect any of the infected mortals
>only mortals can breed with mortals
>that is one most important law of the new society
>so that the disease won't spread
>over thousands of years, generations of mortals live and die while the immortal overlords live forever
>institute a system of selective breeding to create specialized mortal humans
>protagonist learns all this
>learns that he and his fellow mortals are basically domesticated humans...

>>8577335
Part 3
>But the protagonist is immune to the disease
>that's why he looks different, etc.
>after thousands of years of boredom and wanting to die, chief eugenicist decided to try to find cure for immortality
>through breeding program developed a genetic strain that is immune to the disease
>He had accomplished this once prevously
>with the help of another scientist
>a female that he was in love with
>he ended up getting cucked by his own creation
>the female scientist fucked the immune mortal
>she was banished from the society for breaking the law of fucking a mortal
>banished meaning sent back to earth
>the immune mortal was just killed
>some of the immortals who want to continue living forever covered the whole thing up.
>the chief eugenicist wants revenge because they banished the woman he was in love with (even though she cucked him)
>So he continued attempting to breed immune mortals in the hopes of finding a cure
>when it is discovered that the protagonist and sex slave are both immune, they have to flee for their lives
>the escape back to earth...

>>8577365
>earth has been through millenia of unchecked population growth
>everyone on earth is immortal because they all have the disease
>but their standard of living is horrible
>large portions of the planet are covered in super-dense cities
>like Kowloon walled city but worse
>these massive cities are seas of human flesh
>mangled dismembered body parts that cant die and have just piled up and fused together
>a sea of arms and mouths and eyeballs squirming and covered in excrement, blood, and bile
>if you fall in you just get churned up and become part of the sea
>the protagonist has to try to find the banished scientist
>she has some knowledge for finding a cure to immortality
>but his genetic code provides the missing piece she needs

>>8577230
intrestin....

>set in a contemporary affluent predominantly white suburb
>follows a group of children from their entrance into middle school to their graduation from high school
>charts their blossoming bond and eventual disintegration
>organic character study subsumes notion of actual plot

a shallow outline. coming never to a bookstore near you

>an extreme anal fetishist tries to convince his lover to get a colostomy so his ass can become entrance-only

>>8577187

looking for commentary/feedback on this. it's a rough idea and i am already in the process of writing a different book, but lately i have been wanting to turn my attention to this

>in the future with space colonies
>living in space colonies caused a lot of mental illness for the first generation, second generation seems fine
>first generation develop psychological coping methods like spending a required hour in zero gravity and communal viewings of the earth from the colony windows, the second generation thinks this is really dumb
>a group of second generation friends leaves their space colony to go on a vacation
>they go past the allowed boundaries, stumble upon an abandoned colony, they go inside
>one of them accidentally turns out the lockdown system for the colony, so they can't leave
>spend a few das exploring the colony since they're stuck
>they find a supercomputer AI
>AI is only willing to talk to one of the friends, they go speak in private
>when the friend comes back to the group, hey are changed and start acting really weird, isolate themselves from the group
>eventually the AI lets them out of the colony
>friend that spoke to the ai finaly tells the group that there is a second group of colonists living on generation ships that nobody knows about in the colonies
>they set out to try and establish contact with one of the generationships

>>8577323
Agreed. It sounds terrible and each successive post is worse than the last. Like an autistic version of that one Sean Connery movie.

>>8577187
>opie kills hisself
I'm going to win a Nobel for it.

>>8577262
Ghost in the Shell isn't your new novel

>Colony on a garden world still recovering from devastating civil war
>Next generation finds themselves on the brink a new war
>different parties attempt to stop coming war
>no one realizes violence is a cycle and inevitable
>war reduces an entire generation into battle hardened lunatics for the second time
>the cycle continues

OP here, I've been making these threads for awhile (I'm usually the one posting scantily clad chinks). I'm noticing there seems to be a trend of sci-fi and human condition type plots in these threads. Can someone explain?

>mandatory state enforced black cocks in white holes
>one rebellious gaijin

>>8577260
>aristocratic russian family
>join the fight against a terrorist organization
Are you autistic?

>>8577929

>>8577187
>20 year old orphan boy is super smart
>works as a janitor at MIT though
>is actually super smart but held back because he's afraid of his potential and leaving his pack of friends whom are all idiots and belligerent douchebags
>finishes super hard math question on a board in the hallway
>a professor finds out and tracks him down
>matt damon gets in trouble and now has to do math for the professor so he can stay out of jail
>shows the professor some badass math skills and gets with a girl he's afraid to commit to
>has to do therapy as well though
>all therapists fail to get to him except for some bearded fuck
>mathlete and bearded fuck become friends
>bearded fuck consoles with him and realizes that it's not his fault he doesn't have parents

the end

>>8577230
Keep your shit ideas out of my city.

I'm writing a story for /pol/

>Soldier from another world where hitler won the war comes through to our world and has romance with a female protag.
>He is kind of futuristic in some ways and impressed by our tech in others. His world isn't bad at all but he likes ours too.
>eventually he learns enough about our world to point out how much we lie to ourselves and how bad our world is.
>protag gf shoots him before he can make a change to set our world straight (basically, to the way it is in his world where the nazis won)

thoughts?

the life of a trans woman to suicide

The last remaining chapters are when all hope is gone all characters left from her life and all she can see is the despair that came with the mistakes that will be a monument to her life as a boy who was confused

So she goes and lies about being someone else entirely, to some anonymous underage girl over skype. She lives a life as a woman she dreamed she could, a real woman. With a relationship, plans, a degree. Everything she wanted to aim for but missed. And each day alone she crafts the story of a woman she'll never know, the empty longing for both her mother daughter like relationship with this friend grows, and the longing to metamorphose into the person she dreams. They fall in love, they masturbate together, they feel like pieces of a whole.

Except it ends in suicide.

And the young girl never speaks to the woman she loved again.

A bit pinnochio-esque.

>>8578006

i feel like i already read it

>Guy kills his wife and her friends
>Goes on the Run
>Comes back and his wife is still alive
>He is overjoyed and repentant
>Over time she begins to annoy him again
>Is Driven to rage and hatred
>Guy kills wife and her friends

It's supposed to be a dark comedy Magic/realism thing. I can post the first bit if anyone's interested.

>>8578054
Sounds interesting, please post

>anime becomes illegal
>western governments start executing anime users to cleanse society
>every <$500 katana starts to glow blue or purple and empowers whoever weilds it with 'supernatrual' 'powers'
>obama's daughter secretly likes anime and leads the underground resistance
>sonic hedgehog vs the flash
>soul of onii-chan in reanimated body of kimbo slice
>society is torn apart and all that's left are a clan of shamanistic survivalists led by joe rogan who are now the only ones fighting the otaku nerds who have taken over all major popultion centres and sexually enslaved all 3d girls
>tentacle rape god summoned
>eventually aliens come and sort everything out

>>8578056
'Thank fuck!' Michael thought. 'Thank the fucking lord'. He'd been at this Party, an event he didn't want to attend, for close to six hours now. His wife (who he hated) had pleaded, sulked and goaded until he contemplated killing her and then himself for the fifth time that month.

That was usually an indication for him that he'd better dial back his emotions and submit to her will.

He'd just dialed them back to ten though. He had eleven up his sleeve, the control he had over the power to really frighten and offend his esteemed guests is what gave him the strength to sit and listen to they cyclical sharing of verbal fecal matter.

But now was the time to escalate, now he was going to turn it up to eleven. His mum had always told him when he embarrassed himself in public (an almost daily occurrence in childhood) that he needn't worry, that he'd never see these people again. Well now nobody would ever see these people again, they'd be gone, kaput! They would be physically unable to talk shit about him behind his back if he fucked up again, their judgemental glances would be completely overshadowed by that of death.

His temper never left him, not really. However the inverse of his mothers statement seeped into his psyche; he could never really relax around people he was forced to see again and again, over and over at the behest of sexual partners, dominating friends, work colleagues.

He spent his whole life suppressing the urge to do something crazy; to should expletives in the cinema, to brain the woman from accounts who talked incessantly about her ugly cabbage patch doll kids. Many a company meal was spent with him quietly eyeing up the hotplates his over priced food was served on and wondering if the fat on her face would bubble if he struck her with it, or if he'd have to hold it in place.

But Michael never did anything because that's what he does. He's an anti-person, a person without will. His stream of consciousness, his every hope, dream and ambition was on the tip of his tongue. He'd feel passion, rage, indignation like you or I but he'd keep it to himself, he'd make futile efforts to re-distribute it. He'd pound the street jogging until physical exertion overwhelmed emotional pain, he'd get into arguments in shops about minutiae, he'd cry sometimes for no reason but that wasn't much to worry about, he'd read a book on his last holiday that said that crying was good for your emotions.

It never really gave him any catharsis but he'd assumed that crying was, like everything else, something one needs to practice. Maybe it's tiered, like meditation, maybe if he cried frequently enough it would clear his physical static. Michael hated crying though because it embarrassed him so it's unlikely he'd ever get very good at it.

>>8578060
He felt like crying now though, he wanted to cry. He wanted to sit at the table and weep. For the first time in a long time Michael held the keys to his spirit and he was going to open it. But not yet. He was still enjoying the control. Eyes slowly moving round the table like I spotlight, politely nodding to his wife, her repulsive friends and the histrionic queen with a laugh that could melt lead.

They all looked the same to him. The conversation was almost identical to the one they'd had the last time they'd met. And the time before and the time before. They were all wearing more or less the same clothes, they ordered the same drinks and similar food. They all whooped and cheered when the teriyaki hotplate was brought out like they'd never seen food being cooked before. Michael knew they had because they'd come to this shit, overpriced fusion restaurant over seven times in the past year.

Michael hated Fusion cuisine because he felt that if you merge cultures you lose the essential essence of the flavour. There's something metaphysical about each cuisine, a whisper of spirit from the country of it's inception. When you combined, both cultures become one and the same, they become poor imitations of each other and they cancel each other out, they become spiritually void.

He'd expressed this to his wife on multiple occasions but she'd rolled her eyes like he was a petulant child. He'd taken it because that's what he's always done, he's always just taken it on the chin. Tried to be a stoic like Marcus Aurelius, whilst being treated with the respect of a beggar. He'd rationalized that having this conflict would make his ability to remain stoic stronger, that letting the slow trickle from the poisonous river of invalidation just wash over him would allow him to become some kind of ubermensch. Aurealius incarnate, invulnerable to the petty judgements of man.

It hadn't. It had left him weak and afraid. Alone, surrounded by people. He wasn't even allowed to cry. He didn't allow himself to cry because being mocked was more frightening to him than denying his own catharsis.

>>8578062
But he was going to cry now. So he did. He cried like a cartoon character, like a beau waving goodbye to her war bound fiance. He had only really seen crying in the movies so he tried to imitate that. 'Goodbye my love!' he shouted. 'Goodbye! Write me, will you? Write me when you get there! I will wait for you! Keep your locket by your heart, it will keep you safe!' he had made himself laugh, sitting there laughing and crying. All eyes on him.

His wife gave him a hushed warning; 'go to the toilet and sort yourself or I'm leaving. You are embarrassing me'

This only stimulated his emotional ejaculation, he began so holler and whoop, shouting torrents of abuse at every pudgy faced cunt sitting at the table

Everything brought him joy, every previous source of shame was inverted, every titter , every 'sir I think you should leave' projected him further into a frenzy

And then he fell silent, calm. Placid.

His thoughts turned inwards and he thought of his premonition. He fantasied a lot because he was a fucking loser but this one had come to him out of the blue.

His esteemed guests were putting on their coats to leave, furtively looking for social shaming directed at them.

'You're all going to die tonight' Michael said calmly.

They stopped briefly to glare at him then they unloaded their emotions on him; cursing, shouting, swearing.

It was Glorious! An evening of catharsis!

But Michael was tired and he wanted to go home. So he picked up a hotplate to test out a theory. He wept and wept and wept. The conversation stopped.

All eyes on him. All eyes on Michael.

His wife muttered something in his ear about embarrassing himself and he started to laugh.

He started to laugh and laugh, laugh like he'd never laughed before.

He felt pure ecstasy, a torrent of positive and negative energy flowed out him like a puncture in CERN.

Sobbing and laughing in a restaurant full of disapproving faces, he began to think of the revelation he'd had earlier. His premonition.

This made him laugh harder, he was howling! Howling like an animal with tears streaming down his face.
I'm a psychiatric nurse so I'm really interested in the mistakes people make over and over again in relationships. Thought I could do a dark, magic realism groundhog day sort of thing. Thoughts?

>>8578065
I really like the idea. But you're doing a lot more of telling than showing. You should be describing the party/Michael's actions and letting the reader draw assumptions about his psychology and thoughts rather than just describing his thoughts. Would make for a much better read.

>>8578079
Ah cool, thanks for the feedback. This was more a rough draft to kind of get a clear picture of Michael in my own head, how he'd react to certain situations etc.

You're completely right though, I just read it back and I don't have any sense of the party or the guests. Will have to have a look at it again and try and be a bit more subtle.

>>8578088
For sure man. Good luck with it, I'd love to see it develop

>>8578054
This sounds like it'd do better as a short story

>tomboy starts attending a new boarding school
>always wears signet ring given to her by a prince
>aspires to become a prince herself; acts boyish, wears the boys' uniform
>the members of the school's student council all wear identical signet rings
>they engage in sword duels with the winner gaining "possession" of a young woman, the "rose bride"
>In the first chapter the protagonist will

Not going to waste 40 minutes typing out the entire plot. Patricians see where it's going.

>>8577309
This is so awful I actually want to read a sample.

I am not a native english speaker btw and I am not writing it in english.

>young married couple digs hole in back garden for swimming pool.
>the day before buying it, a burglar breaks in, they kill him, and use that whole to bury him.
>the novel is about A) how they get rid of the body B) how they deal with the murdered burglar being on the news constantly as a disappeared person, with his mother crying on talk shows about her missing son.

>>8577187
Forget a novel, I'm such a failure even my short story is going nowhere. Here's the plot of that:

>kid lives in suburbia with demanding and controlling parents
>can't connect with other kids and only finds solace in his room with the comfort of games and books and solitude
>looks out his window at some kids riding bikes down the street and is struck with a feeling of helplessness
>years later he finds himself in a similar situation in a one person apartment
>no prospects, smart guy but can't socialize with anybody, shit job
>peeks through his blinds at some kids playing basketball and has a sense of deja vu

>>8577262
Oh wow! The human condition guys! its not like that's an incredibly broad concept that most literature tackles anyway as well as other more focused issues.

>>8579549
fuck, replied to the wrong person
>>8577274

>>8577187
>time and space is collapsing
>history is folding over itself
> everything is mixed up
>Dude realizes it's caused by a singularity in time.
>people are communicating freely throughout time
>He's going through out time, killing dudes who are causing it
>realizes it's him
>universe ends with this knowledge

>>8579496

Why wouldn't they just tell the police they killed a burglar?

>>8579522
Nice autobiography loser

>>8579600
white privilege alert

>horny demon sneaks into a convent and fucks a bunch of nuns

>>8577187
Who's this fluid druid?

>>8579600
>>8579635


because it is a third world country with a legal system very different from that of the USA, with no common law, juries, or states with different criminal laws.

you are allowed to kill in self defense, but proving that it was self defense is very hard (you can only kill when you are under attack, feeling threatened is not enough), if it is decided the criminal intended to escape and you shot him, you go to jail.

many people who kill criminals go to jail, or are detained and face long trials, while becoming news channel celebrities "the carpenter who shot the thief in xxx city will testify next monday..."

And the possibility of revenge by criminal friends of the dead burglar, or even the family, exists.
Most people who go through something like that, end up having to move to another neighbourhood or city because they fear that revenge.
Or they move because they find out the criminal lived in a shanty town 10 blocks from their house, and you could meet their family-criminal friends in the supermarket.

the situation is very unfair for the protagonists, they did nothing wrong but they are fucked.

>>8577929
The only people dumb enough to post their ideas are the ones who come up with shit like that.

>>8579859

ah...thanks for that wordy and very uninteresting explanation and description of your shit smelling country's legal system. You could have just edited it down to the very first sentence.

>>8579590
I have a vaguely similar idea that I have a full draft of now.

>>8577187
>low fantasy as fuck
>no magic
>except for two characters i have deliberately given the most OP powers that are to always be avoided
>one has complete mastery over space (as in straight up physics mastery)
>the other has complete mastery over time
>neither one can get an edge on the other because they're both effectively omnipotent and neither can break reality harder than the other
>one can't win because they can't break the laws of reality
>the other can't win because if they do, it just gets immediately retconned
>entire nations tiptoe as gently as they can around these two so they don't get completely obliterated by accident in the eternal quest to fuck the other over
>our heroes are trying to find a way to depower these two without either catching on to their very existence
>because one will just obliterate them with a thought
>the other will reverse time to track them down and then effectively kill them with disintegration by time
The idea is to try and take some of fiction's biggest no-nos and show that, yes, it can be done. Because that's always fun to do.

>>8579870
This. These threads are really just a breeding ground for people to steal the ideas of those stupid enough to post them.

>mentally retarded meter-maid living in providence rhode island
>thinks aliens control her thoughts
>thinks the world is going to end in thirteen days
>detailed family history of ancestors all with intricate stories
>world actually ends
>aliens are real

Mines a play

>emasculated community college archeology professor fakes a dig site and an ancient culture in order to win the respect of his young daughter

Kinda cheated at the green text format

>>8580402
>it's another /lit/ is so convinced they're the next great writer of the generation that they think that everyone is out to steal their ideas episode
Most people generally write about what they want to write, anon. You probably think that if you submitted a manuscript for publishing one of their more famous authors would steal it and pass it off as their own.

No one writes thinking they're going to be as famous as they turn out. Not Mark Twain, not Stephen King, not Tolkien, not Martin. Nobody.

>>8580440
Nice try but eat a dick.

>>8580440
>i won't steal your book, goyim, i promise, so just post it :^)

>lonely, conceited stockbroker protagonist
>travels to South Korea for work
>befriends a father-figure type older colleague
>older colleague's cynicism is a bad influence
>falls in love with a sex worker
>thinks she loves him too
>she doesn't, she's just sussed that he's paying for a fantasy
>realisation triggers violent outburst of doubt
>obvious allegory of the relationship between the individual and late capitalism

rip it to pieces please lit

>>8580486
>influenced by cynicism
>falls in love with a hooker
You wot m8?

Change prostitute to colleague or some girl. A heartless prostitute is as boring as a prostitute with a heart of gold. Just a heartless woman is more painful, more real.

>>8580501
is for >>8580486

>>8580497
There is Cynicism and then theres a plebby version of cynicism that gets cured by pussy and that's what the average joe thinks it is

>>8580497
Not enough detail in the greentext to mention, but it's apparent from when the characters meet each other that they share a kind of half-bitter/half-romanticised worldview, although in the prostitute's case this is her being good at her job and sussing out what appeals to her client.

>>8580501
The point is that the protagonist thinks that it is real, and then realises that he's just been paying for a commodity. That's why the sex worker character works. If the protagonist merely has to go through an abortive affair with a colleague, there's no ambiguity or complexity to it, he would just come across as a petulant spurned partner. That he has been conned - both by the sex worker and his own delusional attitude - provides the novel with what I think is a certain depth.

>>8580537
no makes it boring, makes him dumb m8. you can write a colleague as an exploitative whore as well. makes it more painful, more real. makes man less dumb less boring m8 do it m8. he realises the colleague is nothing but a heartless whore, it's better m8 trust m8

>>8580537
You should've spelled that out more clearly because that can't even be called cynicism anymore. Pessimistic romanticism maybe?

>>8580550
I might be a shit hack writer but I have enough self-respect to not write a basic "femme fatale hurts nice man" story. That's a two dimensional story. I'm not saying that one can't write evil female characters, but there's nothing interesting about them unless one makes the effort to add nuance and ambiguity. I'm not going to write some bullshit r9k story about a nasty bitch screwing over a nice guy just to pander to dudes who blame all their romantic problems on women.

>>8580559
I suppose I'm using the old "behind every cynic is a repressed idealist" trope. The protagonist affects a world-weariness and wry cynicism but is perhaps, under the surface, yearning for something hackneyed and romantic.

>>8580567
>I might be a shit hack writer but I have enough self-respect to not write a basic "femme fatale hurts nice man" story.
that's exactly what it already is tho

>>8580567
Not him, but making her a hooker turns the whole thing into a cartoon. Maybe make her a telemarketer or something?

>>8580592
She's just trying to make money and stay alive. Is her making the best of her situation grounds to call her a femme fatale? I think you're assuming that being a sex worker and wanting to make money from your job is pure evil. I think it's complicated.

>>8580593
I don't agree. One of the reasons I chose Seoul (other than being able to use a hyper-modern setting to create an atmosphere of alienation) is that it's full of sex workers, just like Shanghai or Tokyo. The same with making him a stockbroker - a stockbroker visiting a hooker is a completely realistic (and commonplace) scenario, had I given the protagonist a different job it would seem less plausible, or as you say, like a cartoon.

>>8580593
I like the telemarketer suggestion a lot though. That's very good. For the sake of realism I might make that the hooker character's second job, it's more true-to-life that a hooker would work multiple jobs than be only a call girl.

>>8580622
i thought this took place in korea and the colleague in a late capitalistic system is also trying to make the best of her situation

>>8580622
>I think you're assuming that being a sex worker and wanting to make money from your job is pure evil. I think it's complicated.
what

but since u brought it up m8 in places like seoul where you have other chances you go into prostitution to make more money than you do in other jobs or to make extra money.

>>8580634
I don't know where you work but fucking your colleagues doesn't tend to improve your job prospects, even in brutal places like the financial sector. I said that the protagonist is sent to Seoul on business - screwing a guy who's only there for a business trip won't improve your lot unless he's the CEO. Also, it makes her look more conniving if she is seeking out the prospect of a social-climbing-fuck. I think that that turns her into something of a caricature.

>>8580650
no but screwing a guy who'll be gone and squeezing him for all he's worth would be.

you read all that social climbing into it i didn't suggest that at all m8

>>8580657
You only need to "squeeze a guy for all he's worth" if you're poor. If she's a colleague that seems unlikely. Your views about women seem a little skewed towards them being exploitative bitches...

>>8577993
>>philly
>>city
kek

>>8580662
every single fucking post i made you inferred and assumed a whole bunch of shit. thank fuck i don't know anyone as obnoxious as you in real life m8.

you on the other hand seem deadset on not allowing a character to have any traits at all except "just being". z

>>8577187

>Ulysses S Grant realizes he is extremely wasted after drinking and supposed to be meeting with General E Lee
>Lee is pissed because of Grant's drunkenness, demands Grant give an explanation while Grant tries his damnedest to appear sober
>Basically goes into One Thousand and One Nights mode with Grant recounting exaggerated and magic realism versions of his night out with friends, think of the Kafka story: Description of a Struggle
>By the end Lee is so enthralled that halfway through Grant realizes he has distracted Lee enough to pincer the south and win a surprise victory for the north

>a young boy is forced to work in a detroit car factory
>he figures out that if he wears magnets he can work faster
>quickly moves up the ranks and is promoted to CEO of the company
>what he didn't know was that wearing that many magnets has caused him cancer
>he is around 17 and is dying
>a girl falls in love with him
>then it's basically the fault in our stars but with the cancer girl being a car company CEO

>>8580403
Sounds more like a framework for a good idea than a good idea. It could be good or bad. We need more detail.

>>8580486
As someone working in Asia I can already identify with the feeling behind your idea. I think it could be a good yarn if you write it well and if you're authentic with how pathetic this kind of lifestyle is. What inspired it, anon?

>>8580679
I think this is a very interesting concept, and I'd read it for sure.


I've posted my idea in these threads before, but since I'm here might as well shoot again:
>2016, alternate history where Japan is a communist state akin to modern China
>two high school girls, one is in lesbians with the other, who is straight
>straight girl gets a boyfriend, lesbian gets jealous
>lesbian tries to deliberately injure herself so that her friend will pay attention to her
>backfires, straight friend is hit in the head instead, wakes up convinced that this is the wrong history, actively becomes a dissident
>is killed in a protest against the government a few years later
>rest of the novel follows the lesbian through her career as a Party cadre as she deals with the guilt of her youth in increasingly bizarre ways

>unemployed 25 years old guy
>finds a secret enigma
>solved it
>joins a secret enterprise
>with the most advanced technology the enterprise is specialized in advanced security of everything in the planet and milky way,
>before being official, he was submitted to several tests
>the last one was the hardest
>he entered in a empty room
>in the middle of the room was a stretcher
>they told him to lie
>he did it
>1 minute after they told him to stand and leave the room
>a man came to him and told him to go home and not talk to anyone about anything of the company
>when he arrives home, three hooded man tooked him to a van
>they asked about what he had done in that day
>he replied that he had gone in search of employment in a mall
>they forced him to tell the truth
>they pointed a gun to his forehead
>he says the same
>10 hours with the gun pointed to his forehead
>he says the same
>finally they pushed the trigger of the gun
>the guy wakes up in panic in the room
>he was lying in the stretcher
>big machines around him
>"congrats sir, welcome to the enterprise"

To the people worried about their shit getting stolen, go here.

http://pred-ed.com/

This site will be your friend when it's time to get published.

>>8578058
oh my what?

>>8579906
Don't steal pls. Maybe collaborate? (;

>Autistic guy tries to write a book about an autistic guy who tries to write a book
>Lots of explicit sex scenes.
>A Bernhardesque rant about how awful David Foster Wallace is
>He gives up on his book when he gets kicked out of his parents house.
>He can't afford tendies and starves to death.
>Meets DFW in heaven, they play tennis until the rapture.
>At the end there are several B&W photographs of smashed pies.

David Foster Wallace meets David Foster Wallace

>Obsessed DFW fan genuinely begins to believe he IS DFW, dresses like him, adopts mannerisms similar to him from watching interviews until one day he meets another person who is also obsessed with DFW and doing the same thing as he is....Or is it the real DFW?

>An anon makes a long greentext story
>It is screencaps of it go viral
>Eventually it is declared winner of various literary awards
>A nationwide search for the writer goes underway
>A name is eventually produced.
>There is some question if he is the actual poster
>Famous literary figures plot to assassinate him before the Nobel Award ceremony.
>Did they kill him?
>...Maybe...

>>8580903
Hey! This actually sounds a lot like my life!

>>8580883
It's vaguely similar but different enough for both to exist.

>>8577708
i like it but hwat's the exciting, what's the thing? they just try to get contact? do they need contact? do they care? aren't they fine?

>>8577187
are you nerds gearing up for nanowrimo?

>>8577187
>fantasy schlock dealing with easy concepts
>most of the characters are just outlines of the school of philosophy (think magic mountain)
>gnosticism, nihilism, antinomianism, amorality, predestination, ect.

I have a ton of fun writing the fight scenes; hope to get ripped to shreds by a /lit/ man soon.

>>8581931
Op might be with one of these stolen ideas. I already have a finished draft that's twice the fAgMoQuEeRmO "winning" length.

>>8580748
Anon I'll be honest, I saw that coming from the point where they told him to go home.

>>8581933
This could be a really fun light read that isn't entirely plebby if you pull it off well.

>man in third world country sick of corruption decides to take the law into his own hands
>enlists best friend
>attempts to solve a murder
>fucks up immensely
>ends up breaking an improbable amount of laws
>best friend and local population look on in horror as protagonist singlehandedly manages to make society worse
> they never solve the murder case, protag thrown in jail
>'i didn't do nuffin'

it's a pretty lighthearted and stupid little story. quite fun to write. feel free to critique/tell me it's trash.

>man ends up as slave in hell dimension
>latches onto freedom fighters
>screws them over to escape
>starts own warband roaming the wastes of said dimension

>>8577187
>LGBT
>things happen
>so sad
>win Hugo award

That's the plan

My idea is so good you'll just steal it :^)

>>8582005
Don Quixote 2?

>>8577708
This is Niven's 'Beowulf's Children' with none of the things that made that piece good.

>>8577678
Children aren't complex enough for us to want to follow them around.

>>8577898
Genre trash with an obligatory hamfisted critique on the state of the world instead of a valid reason for existence

>boy and his father travel North along an icy, barren coastline to reach a promised sanctuary but it's not the road, I swear

>>8577693
Can't find that reaction image that very accurately depicts how I reacted to this, but my depiction is p close

>>8582111
Have you not heard of the sad puppies thing? You can't just game the hugos with leftist political posturing anymore.

>>8582130
that's not a bad title for it

>Collection of episodic comedic short fantasy stories

I just started today, but my self-confidence is so fragile I don't even know if I'll ever show it to anyone.

>famous japanese teenage idol discovers a big conspiracy in which powerful groups of important people that control the world from the shadows experiment on people using ancient technology discovered in antarctica

>>8583489

Gaskun.

>Literature professor who hates reading and does it to feel intelectually superior wakes up one day all alone in the world

>2000 Fishman invade small island . they rape the woman and steal all the stuff and enslave the people .

they are mostly used for cruel exploitative shit . 10k years go on the fish man are super advanced all humans on earth died and the slaves are still bred and used but cruelly deformed by the task they do barely more than cruel jokes to the fishpeople .

now we follow the story of dig12 a digging unit he digs .
falls into a hole dies and is one with jesus .

learns secret angel tricks comes back to life and with careful maneuvering turns the table for mankind.

>>8583538
does he come back with some angel assault rifles and kill some fish ass?

>>8583549
only with superior knowledge and faith in his heart. its gonna be 12k pages epic. its pretty much bible meets dune meet lotr meets ggr martin meets the genius behind most british telly meets einstein meets shakespiere , meet alan moore , adam green jk rowsling . also will be an concise overview of niklas lluhmans system theorie


title : DIG digger

>>8583583

Ok....sounds like shit.

You should probably go with the re-incarnated terminator plot.

>>8577187

>two main characters
>24 year old who is a permanent partial amnesiac due to heavy and consistent benzo and hooch abuse
>middle-aged doctor, highly intelligent and adjusted but religiously stalks his ex-wife without realizing how fucked up it is
>plot would be a nonlinear series of vignettes, the two characters arcs would intersect over several appointments
>amnesia would mainly be a story-telling device so the character can "black in" to a situation all of a sudden
>no idea for a proper ending, maybe the amnesiac realizes he's having an affair with the docs ex and he offs him

Please rate/hate

>>8583594
yeah k lets meet in the middle he will get some angelic power armor and will pwn the fishpeople and their horrible society for 100 pages .

only to realize he dug himself in pretty deep

>>8583610
What are you trying to portray here? I'm curious if an author thinks about it as he writes

>>8583627
how is power armor meeting in the middle, you're outdoing my original idea. I'm basically thinking re-incarnated rambo blowing away fish people, it's a pretty tried and true formula here. You don't need power armor to throw the formula off, fagnuts...you know what? Just give up, your instincts are shit.

>divided into 5 parts
>each focusing on a sense
>follow a musician, a chef, a sculptor, and a photographer each of the first four sections. each focused on a different sense.
>last part is a critic at a restaurant writing a review where the chef works, the photographer's pictures are hanging, the sculptor's work is also there. Brings shit together.

haven't put much thought into it, but yeah.

>>8577187
>Overweight middle aged man who lives alone in a depressing neighbourhood
>his name is Jarl Barker
>no freinds and family
>saleasman knocks his door
>Jarl and the saleasman starts to Tallin
>Jarl has psycotick outbreak and kills salesman
>he finds an envellope in salesmans pocket
>its à pic Of his dead wife
>he starts dig in the mystery

Havnt come long yet, Any comments??
Not fr.om. Us England btw

>>8583677
Sounds gay.

>>8583642

Not sure desu, I'm hoping as I start writing it and with heavy editing it'll become more cohesive as a story. But basically I have a lot lossely connected scenarios I'd like to have the main character and small supporting characters experience without necessarily needing a linear beginning, middle and end and I think having a main character who other than obvious permanent details about himself is never 100% what's going on. Would like to explore involuntary celibacy and parental death.

With the doc I mainly want to go for a different sort of sense of loss, he's not obsessed and sad because his wife left him, he's more obsessed in trying to find out how he changed enough that a constant in his life no longer wants anything to do with him. Also want to explore how even the smartest and most stable people in the higher rings of society can have really fucked up notions of how to handle normal occurrences.

Idk it's really half-baked at this point.

>>8583677
sounds like every shitty film school student's first project

>Germany three decades from now
>Civil War
>Political conflict
>Culture clashes
>Brutality and violence

>>8577187

I love these threads but interest dies down so quick.

>>8577260
When is this supposed to be set?

>>8577678
Would be better with college students/grads

>>8577708
Was good until the the last three >'s

>>8583677
bad/10

>>8579876
:(

>A decade or so after the Anthromorphs secured their freedom from Trueborn(human) bondage after 500 years of bloody war,a long dormant plot is set in motion by accident.

>A Priest of a notoriously Specieist sect shows up with a recently unearthed magical artifact at the lab of the hero's mentor,seeking its classification and study. The Hero's mentor,the Kingdoms formost expert on the strange Anthro Magic of Chaos,agrees to see what it is:a SnowGlobe,contstantly aswirl with inner storms.

>The Hero,an anthromorph,shows up with friends in tow,and one Rabbit Girl seems draw to the thing,and it reacts to her,revealing a castle surounded by mountains in the depths of the storm.

>By accident,or fate,she,the Hero and the mysterious other ward,a Boy Rabbit Toddler who refuses to age,gets trapped inside it,and embark to discover the secret and mystery of the SnowGlobe as his Mentor and Friends try to breach the thing to rescue them.

>The Hero encounters the Three SnowMaidens,and the terrible Heart of Blizzards,a Chaotic BEEST in the shape of an icey dragon. And the sinister purpose of the SnowGlobe is revealed...

A Graphic Novel,actually. Drawn at first roughly from sketchbooks,but as the 3 years went on I've been doing the story,the effort I have put into the Art has quantumleapt. I find myself surprised at where the story goes even as I create each new strip. Pic is a later sample of one...

>shitlord religious leader placed in charged of a quiet secluded town
>assembles a small group of advisors to run it
>despite him being a insufferable douche they help him run the town
>he slowly becomes a shadow authoritarian hiding behind a puppet ruler
>his autism is too much so the ruler wants to leave
>kills him in a fit of rage
>declares himself ruler
>town people revolt
>he dead
>what now

> Four brothers
> All move in to childhood house together during financial recession after parents die

>Oldest is big finance guy at company
>Really hated his dad who beat him and tried to make more money than him
>Lost all his money in financial recession
>Starts to lose it
>Neighbor girl who was his high school gf starts to fuck with his mind
>Believes his employees are plotting against him
>Wife doesn't love him, married just for connections
>Eventually loses it and kills his employees and goes to jail

>Second eldest is simple religious guy
>Adopted his friend's baby at 17
>Works menial job and helps out in community
>Town priest disappears so he takes over
>He's an independent theological thinker and alienates his flock
>Eventually everyone stops going to his sermons and he sells church
>Meanwhile adopted daughter hits puberty
>Starts masturbating which fucks with his head
>Decides to stop thinking and just blindly obey the Bible

>Second youngest is typical internet dude
>Plays vidya, watches anime, smokes pot, drinks a lot, kinda depressed
>Works part time at comic store, in love with some qt
>Doesn't really know her and won't talk to her
>Eventually he is fired and eldest brother starts shitting on him
>Becomes NEET, drinks and smokes pot too much
>Wakes up out of a drunk coma to find he has fucked the qt while drunk
>QT gets pregnant, but married to Chad; qt convinces Chad it's his
>Tries to prove to Chad he got cucked but Chad doesn't believe it
>Moves to Chicago and makes plan to prove his fatherhood (novel leaves here, doesn't tell whether plan worked)

>Youngest is a college art student
>Pretentious faggot, pseudo intellectual
>Just wants to be cultured
>Reads, paints, listens to classical music
>Has art teacher who keeps calling him out on his shit
>Obsessing over girl he used to know
>Found her raped, fell in love with her, never saw her again
>Decides to find rapist
>Pretty much impossible but he stalks around looking
>Eventually beats up a guy who confesses, but to another rape
>Almost kills guy but spares him at last moment
>In intensity of moment has revelation about art
>Decides to go and become a wagecuck to further his understanding of art

All told in a very rigidly structured way, while characters all have their own opinions on American culture. A different plot runs counter which traces the progress of a dollar bill until its destruction in the fed.

>>8584493
I would read this, it looks fucking sweet. How are you going to distribute?

>>8583742
Could be interesting. Don't take yourself too seriously tho, it's a thriller.

>>8583430
Comedy is tough, but there's a market for it.

>>8582102
Could be decent fantasy

>>8580892
Could be good if it wasn't explicitly dfw

>>8580884
I mean, if you were really good you could pull it off. But you're not. Could be like Steppenwolf tho.

>>8580698
Could be good. Start in media res tho.

>>8580375
Breaking rules to break rules is not interesting to read.

>>8577991
Wow could be a good movie

>>8584627
>could be: the post

get a better vocabulary desu

>>8584627

>could be
>cood be
>kud be
>kud kudi
>cood b
>code b

Is it a message?

>>8584688
could be

>>8582149
wow, that probably means the book i am writing now is probably also a rip off. fml

>follows a group of people attending the same university in canada
>one of them (L) moved to canada because his internet crush lives there, the crush (S) runs a feminist art collective
>another one of them (P) is a freshman who joins the art collective and is obsessed with being famous, she makes friends with a schizophrenic (G) who starts explaining the content of his delusions
>P gets inspired to paint a piece that articulates the delusions
>one of them is an intern (Pe) at the ministry of culture
>a billionaire (F) who starts collecting art but has no artistic taste is coming to the city the university is in
>intern's job becomes to act as his guide and make sure the collector doesn't buy anything from the wrong artist because that might upset more established artists
>P's painting puts people in a trance-like state
>Pe finds this painting and deduces that F will probably want to buy it, based on what he knows about F
>art collective sets up an exhibit
>painting gets stolen before F can buy it
>as soon as the painting goes missing, reality seems to degenerate
>a group of magical beings calling themselves The Antirealists visits the art gallery that the collective runs, claim to know who stole the painting
>G stops taking his meds, gets fired from his job, moves in with L rent-free
>G's delusions start to get more intense, he keeps explaining them to P
>P paints more paintings based on the delusions
>F only wants to buy the stolen painting, forces Pe to figure out who stole it
>L's sister (La) moves in with him, starts a band with G
>band gets famous really quickly, P gets jealous
>G starts explaining his delusions to La instead of Pe
>G gets a job at a restaurant with La
>S tells L to fuck off because she doesn't like him that much, finds him annoying
>L begs S to at least be friends since they've known each other for years online
>S agrees
>the art collective puts out a retrospective documentary
>P finally gets really famous, but F is still only willing to buy the stolen painting
>collective starts getting tons of funding, they establish a nonprofit that promotes something called 'Citizen Axiology'
>G starts to do badly in class, starts to obsess that his destiny is to be a wageslave
>G can't even do well at the restaurant, meanwhile, La is amazing at her job
>a group of magical beings calling themselves the Realists show up, they return the painting to S
>S's nonprofit is actually a plot to dissolve nuclear families in the western world
>S knows F has ties to the UN
>S gives F the painting without telling P, lies and says that P was willing to sell it
>S gets a speech at the UN in exchange, gets L to gives the speech
>Citizen Axiology becomes institutionalized in Canada
>painting gets stolen from F by the Antirealists who were informed by Pe as to what is going on, its returned to P
>painting no longer has its trance-inducing quality

>>8584617
Its a webcomic,and the "plan" was to get a following and sell them merchandise based on my work,and if I had enough traffic,adspace.

This,of course,being the Thread of Unrealized Dreams,has yet to happen. I try putting in forums,and the only people that joined them were bots shilling third world Viagra,I kid you not,and I ripped them out by the roots. I convince myself I might have a small following,but noone tries to communicate to me,both my Patron link and Deviantart pages gather dust. But I'll continue to do these strips,unresellable as they are. The Stories MUST be told. I wouldn't forgive myself if I gave up on the little guy,and somehow I hope the world would feel as wronged. Its my act of defiance to the cruelties of a mad world,that a little hope,and a lopsided view of things just might make a difference.

>>8580486
Any story that involves falling in love with hookers ends up being critically acclaimed

>>8580567
Don't listen to the others, If you do it well I think it'll work out really nicely.

>>8577187
I like how the idiots give the writers guild(op) new ideas for free.

I'm sure somebody here saw a show on tv and it's the exact plot that they posted on 4chins.

Kek

>>8583847
>Also want to explore how even the smartest and most stable people in the higher rings of society can have really fucked up notions of how to handle normal occurrences.
This can be good. Just don't go into preaching, but show the relativity of social norms. Overall sounds good desu

>be me
>be jew hiding from the nazis
>hace retarded son
>retarded son keeps making noises and messing with his sister
>Too much noise
>SS enter the building
>kid keeps fucking around
>choke that fucker
>SS leave
>Have mental breakdown and an hero

>>8577187
>person dies saving someone
>transported into a fantasy land
>gets cheat skill
>meets comrades and followers (WOMEN ONLY)
>saves everyone every time with cheat skills
>becomes king after saving the 1st princess and marrying her (OTHER FEMALES ARE OKAY WITH IT)
>go to daemon lord lair
>demon lord princess falls for MC
>kills demon lord
>or so he though
>demon lord actully has rest of body on MARS
>MC must now progress technology at an insane rate in fantasy land to KILL demon lord on MARS
>development period of tech
>finally arrives on MARS after progress in tech alerts acient alien race on EARTH (FEMALE ONLY RACE) that falls for MC gives him super advanced space ship
>Gos to MARS and kills demon lord
>Oh wait rest of Body is actully light year away
>need to develop interstellar travel
>Turns out there are tons of alien QTs and the journy to the end of the universe begins.

> young kid reads a lot of stuff online and gets an idea to ditch society in live in a buddhist monastery
> Doesn't realize it's all romanticized.
> Goes to monastery and hates it. Not at all like what he read.

Not sure where to go from there.

I'm trying to portray the hypocrisy of Western Buddhism and the kids that romanticize monasticism and isolated living outside of society.

you all better hurry up and publish your novels, cuz i'm stealing all your ideas

>>8584493
Yiff in hell furfag

>>8584605
This sounds insufferable t b h.

>>8586165
That's a very tiny group and they pretty much all realize how retarded they are if they go through with it. Don't write shitty message fiction when the message is that moot.

>>8585096
Do you have a website?

>>8586170
>people ignore him because they think he's trolling
Kek

>be goldfish
>Cold fusion reactor invented, free power for everyone
>unimpressed
>taken care of by three foster kids
>one day stolen out of goldfish bowl, implanted into kid's comatose human body
>still unimpressed im a goldfish idgaf
>surgeon tells me he is a goldfish in a human body as well
>let's call him Tod
>goldfish were gifted intelligence in tibetian monestaries, the art was lost during the chinese invasion and destruction by the redguard
>convinces me to gaf, recruits me for the goldfish uprising
>first mission: someone stole a car with something of ours in the trunk, get it back
>I'm on it boss
>discover car was stolen by young cult leader who worships the fusion reactor
>tell Tod
>we're unsure how to approach situation, dont want cops involved and cult leader has protection 24/7 despite his young age
>been obsessed with satanism recently, fuck it, put a curse on him
>his body deteriorates, his followers blame radiation from the reactor
>LOL that's not even how cold fusion works
>Tell Tod whats going on, he doubts my satanic curse is doing the damage
>fuck him he was lame anyway, I'm going to rob a pet store and liberate all the goldfish
>cult leader is an old friend of the foster kids I live with, he tries to hide from media presence and angry followers with us in our basement
>don't tell mom
>he croaks after coughing up blood in my bathroom
>oh fuck
>I have an idea, I'll liberate the goldfish with his car in my last night of freedom before opening my skull in the lake and living as a goldfish again
>what could possibly go wrong?
>hit deer, car is totaled, covered in blood
>have breakdown, killing animals is against satanic code
>shamble home, dumbass foster kids couldn't hide the body
>reactor guards and FBI surround the house, question mom and us kids
>breakdown agian, admit to putting satanic curse on cult leader
>young man, it wasn't you, he died of radiation poisoning from plutonium oxide
>what?
>the car you left by the side of the road was almost glowing with neutrons and gamma rays
>Tod you motherfucker
>army of Chinese men break into house guns blazing
>what?
>One of them grabs me and runs, peels out the driveway, cops overwhelmed for the moment
>it's me, Tod, he says
>we needed the car back because it had the last bit of plutonium oxide we needed to cast an implosion style bomb and destroy the fusion reactor and set up the Chinese to take the blame, as revenge for what they did to Tibet
>WWIII
>vengeance is a staple of satanism, have no qualms with it
>says we have to start ahead of schedule, we couldn't risk them discovering you were a goldfish, we'll burn your human body and keep you in a tank at HQ until we need you again
>one last thing, I ask, can I make a post in this /lit/ thread while I have hands?
>ok

>>8577262
>Girl cyborg detective
Why the fuck would you make any of those?

>recent college grad decides to found a trendy tech start-up in Austin
>surrounded by a group of friends that are emblematic of everything that people think make Austin cool
>some are self-absorbed pseuds, others are genuinely intelligent people
>backstabbing and intrigue
>everybody who becomes genuinely successful ultimately leaves Austin for greener pastures, while the pseuds stay behind to pursue an image of success.

Austin is the biggest meme in the US, don't fall for it lads. Still a great place to visit though.

>>8577309
>>8577335
>>8577365
>>8577376
That sounds incomprehensibly shit.

>>8586210
In a sense that's supposed to be the point. It's a struggle between the characters who are trying to make sense of their lives and the novel which is written very indifferently.

>>8586238
Nah. I think >>8586165 has something. Only thing worse than fedora-tier atheism is westerners' adoration for muh serenity Buddhism. Every therapist I've been to has to plop down a Buddha statuette in their office and crow bar in their favorite sutra saying at some point. Not to mention all the fence-sitting "spiritual" people that have the same canned admiration for Buddhism.

People don't realize that Buddhism is actually a pretty bizarro and complex religion. If anon gave it some good research, he's got himself a good idea.

>>8577187
Who is she and why do I want to bone her

>bosnian village, serbs and croats, 1910
>town pastor dies
>austro-hungarian send a roman catholic one instead of eastern orthodox
>there are now two roman catholic pastors
>serbs rebel
>get killed by the army
>croats cheer
>austrohungary forces muslims in the village
>croats rebel
>get killed by the state
>it's a 100% muslim village now
it's about globalism or something idk

>>8586427
>that's supposed to be the point
>muh character study

How creative writing 101 of you.

>>8586448
Whatever point there was to be made about that has been rendered irrelevant over a decade ago. People will continue to be retards no matter how sick your fictional burns of them are and being assmad about McBuddhism to write an entire book about it reflects more badly on you than them.

>>8577187
>Man wakes up in darkness, he is in a colosseum and the only lights are the torches high on the top of the colosseum
>The doors open slightly but are closed as soon as the man approaches them
>The gates of the colosseum are locked
>He then proceeds to actually wake up, realising it was only a dream, but wakes up in a corridor with six identical doors
>He begins to explore what's behind the doors
>Behind all doors are the most significant/interesting events of his life
>After seeing all the doors and having relived the highs and lows of his life, learning what went right and what wrong he returns to the corridor, but now there's a singular door
>He enters and finds himself back in the colosseum
>The gates this time open as he approaches and he walks through the gates to "somewhere"
>The final chapter reveals that he was actually in a car crash and was in a coma for 6 years (hence the 6 doors, amazing right?) and his family finally pulled the plug to let him die

>The end

Is it too bad?

>>8586806
It'd work better as a screenplay.

>guy sees cute girl at work
>guy sees cute girl buying drugs
>turns out cute girl is part of secret metaphysical parasite based magic illuminati
>guy gets captured
>guy gets his face remodled and forced into her service
>haha time for suffering

>>8586812
I'll keep that in mind should I ever actually write this.

>>8586362
Yes,and since someone specifically asked,I'll dare to post it:
http://www.jeremeyprickles.com

Last time I did that I got banned for a week in a Webcomic promotion thread in /co/ of all places. There's a link to the first strip (the Jeremey heads are buttons),and try not to vomit for the first 30 strips or so...they were made as rough storyboards and only later did Life force me to devote my spare time to sketching in waiting rooms and bowling alleys. Enjoy and if you like it...share the discovery. Traffic is at its lowest in the 3 years its been running. Thanks for the intetest!

>>8580690
kek

>tips and tricks on how to ace ACLS

Coming to a shelf near you 2018.

>guy shits in pepsi
>becomes best flavor ever
>coke tries to copy
>massive bankruptcy
>pepsi buys coke
>biggest soft company drink company ever
>guys still shitting in pepsi
>reporter finds out
>forced to taste his shit for eternity
Title: "The shit you drink"

>>8577187
Fuck it. Here's the rough draft of the introductory section.

In the beginning; before there was a time or place.
There was the Kugarans. As part of an effort to cease the timeless war between them, these elemental forces forged the two realities. Earth, the known world; One of cause and effect, defined by the physical; with rigid adherence to the natural laws. And Gias; the lost world. An abstract expression of pure emotion and formless life.

These worlds were an experiment. An experiment that was intended to draw the Nine closer in understanding to one another. Amidst the process, a champion stepped forth.
Proclaiming himself a god in his own right, he blurred the lines between the two worlds. Dragging the emotional world into physical existence, and forcing natural laws onto formless life. He warped the two worlds in such a way that to undo the damage would spoil the effort.

Needless to say, The Gods were not pleased.

>>8577376
>anon's cuck fantasy the story
Stop browsing blacked threads m8

>it's like a bible sorta epic
>with books within books
>Maybe like Jerusalem or The Passage
>Spans centuries
>Begins in ancient times
>Not sure when exactly, but probably BC some point
>All concerns a macguffin which gives the user the power to see the future with almost perfect accuracy
>sometimes predictions are wrong though
>It's a mysterious sorta mcguffin
>Also turns them into a hyper level captain america sorta being
>No superman level powers but stronger and faster and quicker than any normal human; makes them tough shit that is a bitch to fight
>The book is pretty much an anthology of short stories/novellas
>Some are mystery
>Some action
>Probably even some romance
>Fuck it, chuck some decent poetry in
>All of them concern this macguffin
>Some people use it for power
>Some stumble on it by chance
>Lots of variety as you trace it's journey from the past to the present to the future
>As you get to the future it starts to slowly become dystopic
>It starts to become one novella/novel at the end with three main story threads
>First one involves science is advancing pretty fast and some of the things the macguffin does are becoming commonplace (stronger people, smarter people)
>There's also experiments with uploading the self into the cloud, and theoretical time travel at a science facility
>Second thread is somebody using the macguffin to gain world power (probably fails)
>this reveals it to the world instead of being a myth
>Third thread is the person trying to stop the guy dominating the world
>He possessed the macguffin and saw a hell of a lot of destruction in the future
>Dead bodies
>Decayed Cities
>Looked sorta like the apocalypse
>Tries to stop it
Haven't quite hashed out the ending but I have the basic twist behind it

>Turns out the macguffin isn't alien or supernatural like some had suspected.
>It's the sum of future technology condensed into a single thing
>Gene enhancements in the thing give the super strength and shit
>Its future prediction is actually the cloud upload of millions of humans stored in it using the wisdom of crowds to predict the future as well as history data in it
>In attempting to stop the apocalypse the dude intersects with the scientists who are creating this device.
>Shit happens but basically everybody (or a lot of people) get uploaded into the macguffin because of the cloud data experiment they were working on
>Dude realises that the apocalypse was caused by this event
>It's designed like a time capsule from with all the knowledge, tech and even minds from the future stored in it
>Like a quantum leap forward
>Then he takes it upon himself to send it back in time using the other experiments they're working on to close the loop and send it back so when it comes through next time it can upload more people, improve itself and eventually figure out a way to solve the predestination paradox
>and so the cycle repeats

You'd hint a lot about the macguffin in the stories but that's the basic idea

Possible Characters of a fantasy novel I am writing
>First character group
>Youngest of three brothers
>Hates his Father and brothers who belittles him and tried to make him live in the pastoral village which he hates
>During Knight recruitment, his three older brothers get recruited while he didn't
>Starts to lose it
>Runs away from home
>Starts to believe he has some great destiny that awaits him
>Becomes an adventurer just so he could sate his delusion
>Eventually forms a group with three other characters

>Second Character of the group
>A boy being taught by his father on how to fight with a sword
>When not training with his father he Shepard the sheep
>Father dies from the disease that has been afflicted by the village
>After burying his father he decide to walk the world to help people in need
>Decide to go to the big Town that's a week worth of travel from his village and join the adventure guild
>During her journey she the other character and decide to join him
>Starts to warm up with him and decide they should form a group

>Third Character of the group
>Female hunter
>Hunts the woods for any animal because father his limp and her other siblings not helping
>Is told several times by her family to stop hunting in the woods due to fear of the lord
>Ignores them due desperation
>Eventually she hunts again in the forest and is caught by the lord of the land
>after a few days of imprisonment she gets banish by the lord for hunting in his forest
>Decides to earn money by becoming an adventurer meets the other two

>The fourth and Final of the group
>Naive, idealistic Cleric
>Was given a choice to either remain in the church or go out and set her own journey
>After a day she decided to become an adventurer to help those in need
>Speaks to the priest of her decision
>Priest allows it and wishes her good luck on her journey and gives her a cleric staff as a parting gift
>During the walk to the Adventure Guild (The church and the adventure guild are not that far apart) she is overwhelm by the big city
>Contemplates rather nervously that this is her first time out and about in the city that isn't a religious ceremony
>She sees the Adventure guild and is awe on how big it is
>Eventually musters the courage to enter and ask to join the guild
>is given a a sheet to write her name and other assorted question
>Is given a necklace that indicates her rank and in case something happens they can properly identify her
>as she about to accept a quest she meets the other three and reluctantly joins them do to caving under pressure.

I already got the story. Just wondering if the characters could work

>>8589036
They all seem to have varying amounts of daddy issues. Also, a strangly atheistic bent to all the characters which could work but seems strange reading in greentext. They all sound kinda simiiar even if the backstory events differ. Personality is where it counts, but I don't see heaps there. You'd have to define that first.

>>8589103
>They all seem to have varying amounts of daddy issues.
Not what I intended

>Also, a strangely atheistic bent to all the characters which could work but seems strange reading in greentext.
thanks

>They all sound kinda similar even if the backstory events differ.
For
I Agree. Its a plot point later on as to why these four are the characters in the novel.

>Personality is where it counts, but I don't see heaps there.
I'm having trouble writing personalities. Any advice you can give?

>You'd have to define that first.
Any tips?

>>8588970
>muh "biblical" ebin
>turns out it's le superscience
Why are people who want to write "epics" always so half-assed about it?

Before it starts a journalist has been contacted by a political blogger who's going undercover and thinks he's found a huge conspiracy, wants the journalist to write it up, then no contact for a while.
>blogger meets up with journalist in abandoned warehouse
>gives him a package to be opened upon his death
>journo does some digging out of curiosity
>gets contacted by some pretty shady dudes
>blogger dead in suspicious circumstances
>journo decides to open package, finds a phone locked via fingerprint
>interviews people who knew blogger to try and reverse engineer whatever he was working on
>breaks into morgue to steal bloggers fingerprint

The conspiracy's gonna be about the government engineering radical political groups and killing people to access their fingerprints as well as some wackier stuff, currently trying to think of an ending that's not too 'pynchonesque'

>>8589191
Alright. Yeah. Sounds like you know what you're doing pretty decently. As far as personalities go, I also can have trouble sometimes, but it always works well to compare and contrast characters. For example, the daddy issues and atheistic sorta stuff can work well with personalities that complement it.
For example
>first guy can be pretty cynical to contrast with the idealistic Cleric
>Keep it so that all of them feel differently about their fathers. The third character may want to see their father again and lift the banishment which would make a good foil for the first one
>It'd be interesting if you have the first one as a cynic yet also believes he is doing God's will, which contrasts with the idealist who may not believe that

Things like that. Have them all have similariteis but differences so they play well against each other and create a nice dynamic.

I like the 4 person DnD party thing you have going on and it could work pretty decently. The dynamics of the party are key. How they interact is how you should define their personalities and if you get that good you'll be OK. It can be a fine line between cliche and cool there, but if you lean into the DnD tropes it always works OK

>>8589218
Because narratives don't work when the answer is because magic. Some people may believe that is how the real world is, but it doesn't make for a compelling story. I also just really like the irony that it is humanities advancement that not only dooms them but also ends up kinda creating them. And saving them throughout history. It speaks to the way our greates strengths are also our greatest weaknessess. Plus, I don't feel like there's enough continuity style anthologies out there. With real differnt genres and styles in them.

>>8587094
I'm disgusted at myself for laughing at you.
I wanted to like your comics, truly.

>>8577187
>Guy who has been living nocturnally for the past year bumps into a woman running from her ex
>What follows is a 12 hour romp through the city's nightlife filled with Seinfeldian conversation, fun-having, inner demon wrestling etc.

>The guy stays awake because he used to be a relationship with another girl, who then moved away to another country with different timezones. The relationship continued until she broke up with him, and he never really tried to fix his sleep cycle.

>The girl on the other hand lied. The man chasing her wasn't her ex, but her brother. Coming from a dysfunctional family, and not allowed to have a job since she's 17 (turning 18 in a week), she stole his money to escape her shitty life.

>protagonist is one bred for doing engineering work.
>intelligent but has problems with discipline
stop reading there

>>8589880
meant as a reply to >>8577309

It's a short story that I've written and I'm working on but

>man is depressed but not self-aware enough to realize the fact
>idealizes being an executive higher up in his company
>discovers his idealization is unfounded
>reader assumes he gets kicked in the balls by existential awareness in middle-age

>plot revolves around 3-4 characters who were given superhuman abilities by some asshole scientist who has taken over the moon/abandoned sister planet
>scientist believes he is god and the characters are his angels/children, one of which is destined to become an antichrist-like being and supersede him
>MC is a (near) silent female who experiences heartbreak and /ss/ before attempting to sacrifice herself to stop the moralfag antichrist at the end of part 1
>part 2 opens up to her in a hospital 7 years later
>other angels apparently killed god anyways
>one of her friends has antichrist locked up in her basement
>shota has become moralfag hero to all the world
>some mask-wearing sadist asshole wielding the power of angels is going around the world fucking up the AI systems the run the cities
>MC is tasked with helping out mean while the planet is apparently going to be destroyed in a solar event
>MC gets her ass beat repeatedly by the sadist before finally killing them
>plot twist, the sadist is the FeMC of part 1, you're just a perfected clone
>shota goes apeshit when he finds out
>decide to use the moon to shield the planet from the solar event
>shota (who grew up there) stops them from doing so, but nearly dies in the process
>world is saved
>antichrist turns up dead
>other people start showing up dead
>shota has become a murderous asshole, becomes the true antichrist hell bent on ruling humanity
>turns out god was just comatose in hospital
>euthanize him to get his strength
>kill shota
>probably die

>>8589338
If you're a hack they don't, yeah.

>>8589575
It's a furfag webcomic. What were you expecting?

>>8577187
>guy plays tf2
>gets kicked out of house for watching porn
>meets a gang of niggas called the JUXTAPHONE NIGGAS (must be in all caps)
>Insane Clown Posse indirectly caused a cataclysmic event called "The Happening"
>Ron Paul is being detained by Okuu in a power plant while the Zapdos from the Twitch Plays Pokémon is the guardian
>some Slavic bastard has been squatting for millions of years
>time split
>Anthony Burch redeems himself
>protagonist (narrator) dies
>the last page says The Game

>>8589575
I laugh at myself all the time. Its one of the Great Lessons I've learned. Gods are there to be mocked after all.

>>8582149
>Children aren't complex enough for us to want to follow them around.
Have you never read peanuts?

>>8587094
Why are you using comic sans? Why is the art so crowded with such a lack of contrast in shading? There's also way too much text in some panels to the point where it's exhausting. I need more space between the panels, aswell as above and below them. You need negative space.

Maybe pick up some "how to draw comics" books and a book on shading/contrast. Read other comics and see the things they do. You're quite technically skilled at drawing I like the world you've created. The character designs are great too, they're just impossible to see because they were given the same amount of detail as the backgrounds. Also your website design is horrendous, read some books on visual design.

Who are your main inspirations in comics?

>>8577187

>college freshman struggles to balance studies with part time job and living with the messy aunt since it's the only way he canstudy where and what he wants
>likes thesame girl as his best friend
>best friend may(?) confess to MC after rejected
>female friend in commom oversse this mess and tries to help
>but she and MC won't pair up because I don't want to

and that's it.
pretty meh, I know

>>8577260
I like the first part a lot.

>old man recounting his life story, telling the truth of what happened when he was an adventurer
>goes on epic quest to defeat evil
>swordplay, magic, all that stuff
the bad guy wins graciously

>>8589230
Pretty interesting, actually.

>>8589740
I like it. There's still some factor missing -- some conclusion or some third character. Right now it's just a concept, really.

>>8589906
Essentially just a man having an existential crisis. Not really interesting in any capacity as you've described it.

>>8589908
Too anime

>>8589920
Write it comeidically and keep it <150 pages and you've probably got it.

>>8590066
Agreed, the society of childhood is extremely interesting and frankly more authors should write about it.

>>8590234
Pretty YA, just focusing on relationships. It'll essentially be condemned to being teen lit because it melodramatically focuses on relationships without any purpose or context.

>>8591068
Honestly might be something but in general it seems too cliches. I can't really tell from the four lines you posted.

>>8580375
Sounds like a fun read, as long as it's not gonna be too serious.

these are all very bad and made me question if i should still be visiting /lit

>>8591247
>visiting lit
>expecting quality
Pick one. I say that as somebody who posted their idea in this thread.

>>8590122
I agree to all your points,actually. And still wonder what's wrong with Comic Sans,since they say that very thing in /ic/... The website was made with a drag n drop webpage maker from the late 90's,and the strip I'm doing wasn't originally intended for the site:Its what I was forced by circumstances to do. I do my best work when I draw each element of a panel seperatly,and photoshop them into finished strips,like this one. But instead of living alone in my studio and knocking out one of these newspaper sized things once a week and selling compiled books with extra stuff every year or so,I suddenly had my girlfriend move in with me and spare time was suddenly scarce,at least in my own home in front of my computer. So instead of abandoning the whole thing,or producing a strip that would take a month to make and a minute to read,I went with the Sketchbook route. At least I could generate content in the strange places I would find myself following my woman about and helping her deal with her troubles. And I call them ALL Roughs. And I improve a bit with each strip...and I agree it needs more white spaces. Too much Cerebus reading makes me want to be my own Gerhard.
And someday I would LOVE to bring these 100s of webpages into the new millenium. For now I'll just try to wrap this storyline up. With 25%+ more negative space!

>Aryan 13 year old and his 9 year old man servant visit a futuristic utopia to seek knowledge (like his two brothers before him)
>travel by magnetic hover train for three days to reach huge futuristic mega city to find gurus
>manservant is snatched by pedophiles at train station MC kills one man with a pipe
>station closes for three days to repair. Can't return home. no money no food. Wanders electric city starving.
>all adults are internet addicts all children are sex slaves
>everyday the adults watch a program of a teenage girl selling them "units"
>boy close to death wins contest to meet girl in huge tower.
>meets her, learns girl is prisoner as she finally gets up the courage to throw herself out a window.
>700 pound man on wheeled golden chair (her master) is pulled in by scantly clad teams of children with animal ears clipped to their heads.
>"You will take her place"
>boy becomes Internet god and is given his own sex slaves
>meanwhile, boys father learns what has happened and sends his Bodyguard to retrieve him.
> boy unlocks telekinesis from. Wing jacked into super computer used for transmissions and escapes in a sky car,crash lands, killing sex slaves and he wanders into the desert to get home.

>>8577187
>a series of tom and jerry esque skits in which a pedophile tries to fuck a 14 year old girl who repeatedly foils him in wacky zany schemes

>>8591848
this is the winner

>>8587094
Interesting. Looks like a trip.

>>8577187
>Suicidal pedophile
>goes online to find a bunch of other suicidal pedophiles
>want to commit mass suicide
>they all meet up
>talk
>instead form a pedophile ring
>stuff

>>8591935
Could lead to an interesting story. Does it turn out one of them is an undercover agent or something? Does one of them betray the group?

>>8591068
This tells me nothing about the world or its characters. You have a skeleton of a plot.

>>8590234
Once again, this tells me nothing about who the characters are or why I should care about their relationships

It's like 1984 but about how capitalism is evil

>western
>pov shifts as the main character dies
>killer becomes new main character

pov changes 3 times in the first book
we only get a skeleton of who these characters really are before they bite the dust.

I wouldn't know how to end it without turning it into a series.
I probably will never write it because it's gimmicky

>>8585688
Fuuck I'd cringe my way through this but in a good way anon

>>8592449
That's a short story at best, and the gimmick, while novel, doesn't facilitate any interesting story.

Before I Green text the story begins as a young girl who is ordered by the church to leave because she has come of age (got her first period) and simply can't house her anymore do to an increase influx of child orphans

>Makes a living by scavenging kindling in the forest and selling them in the town she lives
>Lives in a run-down straw house and being harass by some petty noble's son
>During one of her scavenging runs in the forest she stumbles to a camp
>Sees Strange cloaked hooded individual sitting around a cookfire waiting for his food to cooking
>She starts talking to him with the hope he spares some food while he remain indifferent to the entire ordeal
>Meanwhile back in town Petty Noble dies due to some unforeseen circumstances
>His younger sister thinks someone killed him and is hunting the Young girl for it because fuck you
>Climatic ending

The novel is mostly going to be about a few p.o.v third person limited and how they live their lives in a fantasy middle age-esque world. Economics, political, and social in the backdrop with realistic implication. Monsters and other Assorted Creatures will be handled with realism. as will the Adventure guild and quests.

I will answer any question with the best of my abilities

>1346
>good medieval life
>nice church
>French or German noble
>Battle of Crecy
>Action!
>Kill some English
>Lose battle
>Get hit on head
>sees Angel after waking up
>Angel tells him to find a holy relic
>Adventure!
>Action! vs mercenaries
>Black Plague arrives
>everything turns to shit
>Action! vs robber knights
>witch hunts
>pacify scared peasant mobs
>1353
>finds relic
>Plague is gone
>Hero!

>Most of humanity is dead by an extrange plague.
>10 years later
>There's no women seen around for 8 years.
>Some cities work like some kind of medieval system where the leader of that city decides everything and they are self sufficient.
>Boy of 16 or 17 years that work as a explorer in the army of one city.
>A rumor spreads about how the womens have made their own city and work as amazons.
>The "king" decides to send him with a group of 8 or 6 explorers to look for them and see if it's true.
Dunno from there onward.
Want to make the MC have a reason as to why he goes out apart from the order, was thinking of something cliche like "he is looking for his mother" thing, dunno.

>>8594268
I also have another idea.
>Age of the FUTURE LOL.
>Due to the ascending crime rate the Intergalatic Union of idk what decides to use dangerous planets as prisons.
>Story starts with a girl who was sent to one of these planets because she didn't want to cut ties with his father which is accused for treason.
>In the planet there are several colonies which are in war.
>Has to gather a group of companions, get out of the planet and escape with his father.
>Spoiler, the father dies in front of her, she get's imprisoned again and awaits dead.

>>8577187
Finished my first two years ago. Short-listed for awards, but no publication offers (It's about abortion. Also, not that good. At least, not good enough to justify a divisive topic).
Now attempting to produce a shamelessly commercial mystery-
A Visit from the Goon Squad meets Gillian Flynn.
>Frontman of a young rock/ rap/ punk group-
Death Grips meets 21 Pilots (did say it was shamelessly commercial)
>Very publicly self-destructs
>Band's holed up in run down LA hotel to go cold turkey
>22 year old intern for hipster music mag
>Sent to chronicle their comeback/ breakdown
>Stuck in the hotel with them, day in, day out
>Nightmares/ hallucinations abound
>Band members and journo's backstories gradually revealed via flashbacks and interviews/ conversations w/ each other
Need people to die and someone to fall in love with the journalist, but no idea how it'll come together

>>8577309
>bread for different purposes
I'd read this

>>8594268
harem erotica novel?

>>8594410
No, i wanted to make the MC find a little girl of around 6 maybe, which he takes care of as a big brother, the exploration group keeps diying, the MC keeps traveling forever until he's so injured he dies while the girl sleeps by his side.
Something like that i think, but im not really sure.

>>8594424
Why are people so fixed on their main protagonist dieing? That means: Part II... don't be a GRRM!

He should take over the Amazons' tribe and defeat his old men-only one, Amazons and men end up a lot happier now, wink.

>>8594434
Idk i wanted it to be something like a warm story about a boy who had to lose his innocence and how he wants to protect the girl's smile, task that is hard because even little girls are wanted all over the world. Little by little making it a bit dark and drepressive just to end with something that could bring tears to the reader.
In the end an old man around his 50 finds the girl and takes her to safety

I gave up because i don't know how to do it yet.

>>8594451
>takes her to "safety"
>"That's my hut. I have toys inside."
Sure.

>>8594451
>protect the girl's smile
Fight the would-be rapists, smash, punsh, traps, feel-good read!

>>8594464
Oh nice didn't think about it that way and that could be the real ending kek.

>>8594467
I think?

>a pirate, a playwright, and a schoolteacher all cross paths around the ottoman-dominated Mediterranean at the turn of the seventeenth century

>an island that never changes is filled with dumb tribes
>a native imperialist begins attempting to take over the whole island and unify it, on the grounds that nothing ever changes in tribal society
>barbarian girl who has lived a life consisting largely of the same day over and over again is removed from her daily rut by an foreigner
>is able to explore her island, which is full of shallow people living empty lives
>encounter strange oddities, ghosts, etc.
>she realizes that nothing ever happens because the entire island is either in a static point in time or loops back in on itself
>encounters her younger self in the forest, who didn't recognize her because she had changed from moving around
>disgusted with who she once was
>destroys the faltering empire just to ask the leader if he knows that things will never change
>"yes, we've had this conversation many times"
>she leaves and joins the rest of society, leaving that island in its constant state of stagnation

>two teenage victims of sex trafficking go on a mission of vengeance to kill everyone who's ever had sex with them
>there are 99 people they have to kill
>the book is called "99 Problems"
>protags are an Iraqi immigrant who is a traditionally conservative Muslim, and a goth girl who ran away from home because fuck you mom and dad
>Boondock Saints meets I Spit On Your Grave

>>8595219
i'm most interested in she destroys the faltering empire; and its origins. the 'dumb tribe' baseline seems a little trite, unless it's been enforced by the imperialists? what are the parameters of 'never changing', exactly as it sounds, geographically/climate wise, socially, etc

i'd definitely read it desu, has a lot of potential to be an interesting story

>>8577309
Neat

>>8596165
When I say the land is never changing, I mean that the land likes itself a certain way. It will remember things that seem like landmarks or scenes, and deliver this experience to everyone who comes across them. Let's say there is a shack. In this shack, there's a journal of a murderer, a shovel, and a painting of a woman. One person comes along, reads the journal, and takes the painting and journal with him. Next guy comes along, finds the same exact journal, becomes disgusted by the actions of the owner, and burns the shack to ashes. The third person comes along, enters the completely pristine shack, and admires the painting for a while. The fourth person comes along while the third person is in there, without knowing there was someone inside, and finds it empty save for the journal, painting, and shovel. Time does not apply to the shack, it's always what it was no matter who came along, when, and regardless of what the last guy did. When I said "ghost," this is what I meant; eternal, not living, until you experience it.

The protagonist's younger self in the forest is like the shack. A "ghost" in that, if no one is around to experience her, does not live. She was a barbarian who rarely listened to something other than necessity. It's only by being taken outside of the place where she was supposed to be does she have the ability to change. This is why she leaves; there is no fixing things, only escape.

There are also two other forms of this theme of never changing inflicting itself on the land; destiny, and timelessness. Destiny is simply that because the island will never change, it will somehow manage to resist all great change flawlessly. The empire would never conquer the land, even with ray guns and missiles; their corpses would fill graves that seem to have been emptied just so they could fall in, when in reality they were always there. Then we have timelessness; the islanders themselves are people that live, die, and come around again to fill their own shoes, but foreigners are different. Time moves outside their island. When foreigners come, they're funneled down to the land's cyclical time, and can meet people from the past and future. Similarly to the shack, there are points where everyone who would ever come across said landmark meet in one encounter, reliving the same encounter if they come across it twice.

I don't worldbuild to nerd out, I worldbuild to tell a story.

>>8577187

>mankind finds a new spectrum of light that can see spirits in our world.
>lost souls, demons and angels are all visible through this new light.
>turns out that spirits are more like viruses that attach themselves to living "hosts"
>wars ensue as world leaders are plagued with demons.
>church takes over and builds city-states where you have to pass a "light-test" to get in.
>if you are infected, then you have to go through a purging process.
>protagonist is a pastor who was separated from his wife and child.
>crosses the country and witnesses the decay outside of city states.
>saves people, is attacked, kidnapped, tortured and comes face to face with a high teir demon.
>the place is raided by the churchs forces.
>he escapes
>taken to a city state where he sees that the theocracy is not much better, but gets a lead on where his family is.
>leaves compound and is joined by a woman, turns out to be an angel.
>finds family, she is infected with demons, he revews his faith and tries to exorcise her with the angel.
>she dies
>ends up living in the wild with his daughter and the angel.
>the end.

>>8596004
sounds fun.

>>8596004
99 chapters a la Kill Bill?

>>8596329
Church saves world, armchair bishops criticise it all day long with "not much better [than the demons]"... ok.

Sounds to me like a fantasy western.

>>8583501
make sure to add scenes of him gazing at lovers in the park

>>8591484
I'd read this.

>>8596342
Oh, and just to go into a bit more detail:

The goth girl is a cruel young woman, embittered by the suffering she's been made to endure, and unflinchingly commits acts of violence. The Muslim on the other hand, is somebody who hates killing, but views it as a necessary evil to restore her honor. So, they both have a common goal, but very different motivations, and this gives them something of a "good cop bad cop" dynamic. Every time they kill somebody, the Muslim will say a prayer which is relevant to the situation, but also relating to one of the ninety-nine names of Allah (hence why there are ninety-nine targets).