/lit/ - Literature

https://youtube.com/watch?v=h0B7Z3JERdk

>creative writing class
>poop in my pants

>>8505310
So last week?

>>8505328
this is actually pretty good, not cringe at all

In 5th grade i wanted to show people I was well read, but had no books. So I'd read the FF7 game manual during recess.

>>8505310
He had no enemies. -1 if you counted God.

>>8505998
Usually when you wake up to a loud Crash, it's not a sign that something good is happening- it's never "Crash, mom made pancakes!" or "Crash, we got a new golden retriever!"

>>8506033
I remember that reddit thread.

>>8505338
Classic.

>>8506033
holy... i want more

I had a girl in my Early American Lit class raise her hand and call every work our professor liked shit. So bizarre. She didnt offer reason or argument, just dumped on it as "stupid" and such, I could almost describe her as a heckler. Such works dumped on were Bartleby the Scrivener and Leaves of Grass. She did it probably 15 times throughout the semester.

It was like a shitposter here but right in your face. Most of the class looked physically ill when she did it.

>>8506127
O V E R W O M A N

>>8505310
anything written by harlan ellison.

>>8505310
Similar, but I was several years older, so I don't even have any excuse

>20 years old
>had just decided on an English major in University
>want to show off how ((literary)) I am to everyone now
>take every book I own, including some of my roomate's books, because I didn't have enough by myself
>make like six or seven stacks of books on my bed
>deliberately jumble some of the stacks of books, implying that I read so much that I didn't have time to array them neatly
>dress up in clothes a professor might wear, or a yuppie would wear on a Sunday. make sure to expose some thigh
>careful "academic" makeup
>take out contacts and put on glasses that I never wore, near replicas of the glasses Jean Paul Satre had
>take a myspace-tier selfie using a delayed timer on my laptop with me gazing at the camera, with the piles of books 'casually' lying in the deliberately jumbled stacks on my bed in the background
>title the post an artsy mish mash of academic jargon and buzz words
>make it my default
got like 5 comments calling me out for being a poser by my friends. left it up for a few months tho anyway lol

>undergrad history tutorial
>Go and ask the qt tutor after class if she had read the Tunnel

Was a kek

>>8505893
does anyone have the /essential manual-core/ chart? I lost it when my HD crashed, but I think the manual to FF6 was on there, and the manual to Dragon Warrior Monsters II, but I can't remember anything else

>>8505310
>go to Barnes and Noble with my Chad cousin
>pick up Lolita for an essay I have to write
>walk him aroun the literature section, show him the classics
>find Infinite Jest, explain that I own it, and it's too hard for him to understand
>he cracks it open and says nothing, looks surprised
>walk him over to the Pynchon section
>pull out GR and proceed to tell him it's the best book of all time (I haven't read it yet) and tell him to pull out his phone so I can google something (I have no phone)
>"What for, cuzanon?"
>"There's this really descriptive part in it about a guy eating poop, I wanted to show it to you."
>"Eating poop?" stares at his phone while it's in my hands like wtf is he looking up
>phone dies while in my hand, no luck in showing him
>end up leaving with Lolita, Broom of the System, and Tai Pei

Honestly, not even cringy to me, the only books my cousin and everyone on my moms side grew up reading were Christian self help books and the Bible, they all grew up jesus freaks who have emotional problems and are about as Chad as they come, so every chance I get, I get as /lit/ as possible. I'm hoping to alienate myself from them as much as I can because they're all preachy and self-righteous.
Any tips?

>>8506353
You are a man, stop pretending to be a woman.

>>8506395
I will if you post feet.

>>8506395
God damn it. What gave it away?

That really happened to me, but I thought the story would be funnier if it had happened to a woman, so I rewrote it.

I'm not this guy b.t.w.: >>8506397

>read "Lolita" when I was 14
>started talking to a friend of a friend about it
>"wow anon, so it's really about some guy having sex with a little girl?"
>"yeah, yeah it is"
>he asks to borrow it and I let him
>1 month later
>"hey anon, you know that book you lent me? Chad wants to read it, you mind if I give it to him?"
>I say okay
>2 years later, I've forgotten all about it, then someone I've never met before hands it back to me
>"hey man this is yours right? here you go"
>it looks like it's in good condition, so I don't think twice about it
>months later I'm flipping through it, thinking about reading it again
>suddenly I notice two pages stuck together
>I can't separate them, there's something glueing them to each other
>freeze, throw the book in the trash right away

>>8505310
dude i still do that

>>8506418
>thought the story would be funnier if it had happened to a woman
Why?

>>8506447
because I have a childish sense of humor

>>8506457
You're weird.

>>8506422
That's great. Everybody should read that book, it's pretty good.

>>8506384
good bait
So good I had to reply saying it's bait before someone fell for it.
That's because is good.

>>8506465
Yep. Welcome to 4chan.

>>8506418
>What gave it away?
Normies would never call out a girl for being a poser on facebook

>>8506484
honestly not bait, really happened
but nice bait if your were baiting me, you really got me, heres your (You)
Love (You)

>>8506527
I feel bad for you

>carry the DaVinci Code everywhere because it had a pure black cover and I pretended to be some real life mysterious exorcist.
>walk around with it in hand, occasionally stop and pretend to read something of high importance, then close it with a thump and continue walking

Can't believe I did that FUCK

>>8506846
>>carry the DaVinci Code everywhere because it had a pure black cover and I pretended to be some real life mysterious exorcist.
>>walk around with it in hand, occasionally stop and pretend to read something of high importance, then close it with a thump and continue walking

Jesus, that is autistic.

>>8507285
>fullquoting

>>8506846
top lel

>>8506364
>not asking her for The Tunnel
ya blew it

>a classmate who was sitting next to me was discussing 50 shades of gray with other girls
>I must have been looking at them with a face resembling that of Costanza
>she said the book was really good despite all the kinky shit in it
>I just nodded my head with a smile, thinking how pleb she and the other girls were

I hope I'm a better person now.

>>8506846
That's impressive

>>8507375
>girls in class discuss fifty shades of grey
>this triggers me
>you see, I like erotic fiction. I like BDSM. And I do not like fifty shades.
>I proudly tell all the class exactly how Fifty Shades is shit and why they should never read it
Probably the worst time I've splurged my sperg. Beyond telling my only real friend I didn't vote for her in the mock elections because I wanted to protest vote, 'cause, y'know, nihilism.

>>8505330
That is pretty creative, anon. Almost certainly better than what 95% of your classmates could come up with.

Who /ReadBooksToSeemSmartWhenTalkingToGirlsButNeverActuallyTalkToGirls/ here?

>>8505328
Why is this cringe? This is actually pretty decent, not "cringe" at all

>>8505310
>Literary cringe thread
I think you meant literally cringe thread, jeje.

>Be 16
>Arguing with my dad about politics
>The discussion gets pretty hot
>Sperg out: "IF WE DON'T CHANGE SOCIETY RIGHT NOW IT WILL BECOME LIKE"
>I look at the library next to me for a second and then I grab 1984
>"THIS!"

Whenever I think about this, I want to vanish out of existence.

>>8507531
At least you were sincere

>>8505310
>have german gf
>wanted to show off to her parents
>brought kafka over to read while i visited them
>her mum notices
>looks surprised
>"anon, you're reading kafka!? i'm impressed."
>"thanks, i hope to read it in german one day too"
>oh - it's an english translation. that is not so impressive"

Also had something similar to OP where a girl was coming round so I thought I'd play Bjork as background music to make her think I was sophisticated when I was 17.

>>8507552
>>oh - it's an english translation. that is not so impressive"

BTFO

>>8505328
what's updog?

>>8507481
I /hidemybooksbecauseit'sembarassing/. All patricians do this.
>>8507531
Literally nothing wrong with this.

>>8506138
kek

>>8506418
But it is expected from women to have pretentious, fake personalities. It's neither funny, nor surprising at all.

>>8507481
I talk to plenty of girls, but I don't read books to make myself seem better to them. That'd be pretty silly.

>>8507481
>I live in isolated mountain region with my family
>none of them care that i read
>read books to seem patrician to myself

>>8505893
lmao

>>8507531
Your opinion might be generic, at least among /lit/ community but it does not make it less true.

People on this board should chill a bit and get off their high pseud horses.

>>8507531
What change did you have in mind. That is the key factor in how much of an idiot you look

>>8507375
>despite all the kinky shit in it
is not that like the main reason to pick it up?(its entry level but still). Why do people do this with everything "oh this anime is good despite the fan service" or "I read it ironically" What does this retardation even mean

>>8506846
Did not you get tired after the first 3 times?
>>8506422
madman

>>8506033

I didn't need reminding of this cancer, thanks anon

>>8505328
10/10 post. I been looking for this for s while.

This 50 year old man asked me if I read and I got kind of excited because I don't get a lot of opportunities to talk to people, so I began explaining the plot of The Setting Sun to him and he gave me a blank stare for a minute and then said "I read fantasy novels" and stopped talking.

>>8506846

Good work my man. Hearty kek.

>>8507288

>>fullquoting

Jesus, that was autistic

>>8507481

I read books to make up for the fact that I'm an academic underachiever.

>>8507531

Could be worse anon

>used to argue about politics and religion to anyone in earshot
at least I wasn't an atheist

>>8507890
Same

>>8506353

>novellas

>>8507876
>fullquoting

>>8505328
guaranteed replies

>>8507801
It's not the opinion so much as the way of expressing it. I imagine that it took him 30+ seconds to find the book while his dad just stood there.

>be me
>first day of class at college
>walk into lit class that has a bunch of qts in it (I checked the online roster)
>arriving a bit late so people notice me
>I brought my new copy of Bottom's Dream with me
>cradling it like a child
>almost to seat
>book slips, falls, hits feet
>I'm wearing boat shoes
>let out huge, high pitched cry
>run to med-center for ice packs
>return to class 20 min later with two ice packs taped to foot
>hipster Chad has whole class including professor gathers around him
>walk over
>he has my copy of Bottom's Dream open and flipped to last page
>pointing to the last line he says "and see, this is the bottom of the dream"
>let out another high-pitched scream
>run back to Med-center

Currently sitting on bed in med center with two ice packs taped to foot and three wrapped around my head. A nurse is sitting beside me, monitoring my condition while she reads Bottom's Dream.

>me be cry

>>8508028
More like I Dream of Bottoms lol

Happened today:

>be me sitting on le train
>reading GR
>guy across says "dude are you readin that in Latin? It's incomprehensible"
>tell him I'm sure a ton of it's going over my head, but still going through it for enjoyment
>guy talks about his two literature degrees and he still doesn't get it
>tells me he thinks dostoyevsky is overrated and irrelevant, he can't finish The Idiot
>ok.jpg

I mean, I know I'm getting meme'd by reading this book, but do people really get this triggered by it?

>>8508214
Gravity's Rainbow was published in Latin?

>>8508549
No. That was the """"""joke"""""" he made

>>8506127

>arguing solely with pathos

Must be a womanly thing.

>>8508028

>>8507451
>>8507375
The book came out like less than half a decade ago, how much could you have possibly changed?

>>8508214
You were visited by the spirit of Nabokov, having a little laugh.

>>8508869

I'm too pleb to get this

>>8508873
He didn't like Dosto. My joke wasn't any deeper than that.

> Interviewing some girl for entry level position at my work
> she's an english literature major
> +5 points
> ask her favorite books, things she likes to read
> ...
> ...
> "harry potter"

Oh shit I forgot about this...

> be me
> freshman philosophy student
> atheist / rand core
> midway through semester
> prof uses "proof of gods existence" in one excercise
> jimmies max rustled
> raise hand
> raise hand higher
> points at me
> BUT PROFESSOR - BLAH BLAH BLAH ATHEISM BLAH BLAH
> "...ooookaayy..."
> continues solving problem


mfw had to work with him for the rest of my undergrad career...

>professor of philosophy is lecturing
>he mentions the theory of forms
>"ah, ole pluto?"

>>8507890
Yup

>>8506127
There was an autistic of like that in one of my American lit classes. He used to whine constantly, and far too loudly, that none of the poetry we studied was as good as Chesterton's. It's safe to say that Chesterton is to him as Shakespeare is to Harold Bloom.

>>8508968
i laughed

>>8506371
Nope, but i can recommend the Baldurs Gate II manual

>>8506422
Better than discovering the complex at 14

>be me in highschool
>was a communist
>wanted everyone to know that I was a communist but didn't want to outright tell them
>always carried around books by marx and lenin
>used to hold them up and read them in class so that people could see the cover
>would lay them on the edge of my desk when a teacher walked by hoping they would acknowledge my views

To my knowledge no one ever paid attention or cared when I did this but the memory still makes me cringe. Thankfully my politics changed soon after graduating highschool.

>>8509097
>Mom got me a falcons starter jacket
>wasnt a falcolns fan or a football fan but i liked the logo
>someone asked me if I knew anyone on the falcolns
>I brushed past the question
>ran to my mom, begged her to take me out that night to get an up to date NFL stat book (expensive manual for football autists)
>memorize the entire teams roster and stats
>no one asked me again

>>8506846
jesus christ...

>>8506846
At what age?

I read the first Twilight book in highschool because my long distance girlfriend was really into it. Does that count?

>>8508028
>college girls
>cute
y'havta reaD Joyce's Ulysses 20=times

>>8508901
This is pretty much 90% of English majors.

>>8509001
>>8508968
i also laughed

>>8509117

>>8509197
If they ask, I just tell girls at school I've read Ulysses. I'm "smart" and relatively good-looking, so they believe me.

>going back to university
>professor essentially says he did his PhD on Stirner (didn't actually say it, but deeply implied it)
>almost burst out laughing
>called out, something about starting a discussion on it since my 'face lit up'
>"n-no"

I never expected this

>>8509220
>face lit up
you sound gay

>>8509214
butt diD'ya reaD it 20=times?

I always feel weird about it when people are actually impressed that I've read Ulysses. It's only happened like twice but still
Not exactly cringe but sort of on topic

>>8509097
Some kid in my AP Euro class I took as a sophomore in high school constantly needed to flex the fact that he was a communist and was going to be a history major.
>teacher mentions the cossacks
>OOOOOOO!!! THE COSSACKS!!!
>whole class is annoyed
>one day we're doing a mock trial of Louis XVIII (the one who ran away during revolution right?)
>he loudly proposes we call off the trial because the defense didn't prepare evidence or something idk the term
>teacher says no, that would ruin the whole fun of the mock trial, one of the only fun things we did all year

Also he only went by pancake. He was a loser but I hope he's doing well in college

>>8509241
I hate bringing up how much I love Kant and Joyce because all anyone knows about them is the meme that they're hard to read. So whenever someone asks who my favorite author is I just say Willa Cather and when they ask my favorite philosopher I just say Nietzsche. Otherwise they might think I'm a tryhard or a poser.
Whenever I'm forced to admit it, I try to deflate the difficulty meme and explain that most of Joyce isn't really hard at all, and the difficulty with Kant is just vocabulary and staying focused on every sentence.

>>8509260
Oh here's another quick one

>literally first day of class
>teacher talking about how intense the course would be
>pancake raises hand
>"I got a 5 on the APUSH test without studying so should I study for this AP test?
>teacher says yes

What did he expect her to say?

When I was 16 I used to read existential poems I had written to my mom. She should have aborted me.

>>8509097
Had the same phase. I stuck a picture of Marx on my binder and used Marx quotes on at least two essays. I made sure when I was writing that my binder was shut on the desk so everyone would see the picture. I did that weird thing where instead of doodling "I heart *crush's name*" I wrote "I love Karl Marx" all the time.

>>8509368
It's okay, man. That sounds like a bonding experience. It's so easy to feel inadequate about this kind of thing. But it's okay.

>>8509459
>I wrote "I love Karl Marx" all the time.

>>8505310
I used to write in high school.
That will be all.

instead of figuratively producing shit in the class like all of your peers did, you literally produced shit. quite a bold statement

>>8509459
>mrs. karl marx
>mrs. karl marx
>mrs. karl marx
>mrs. karl marx
>mrs. karl marx
>mrs. karl marx

>>8509562
>mfw u forget to quote the post

>>8509603
well that was my lit cringe moment

Not really lit, but I got in trouble at school because I kept quoting the movie Cheaper by the Dozen in my schoolwork for some reason.

>tfw when quoted ayn rand all the time in HS philosophy

>talking to my friend about literature and shit
>he brings up how 1984 is his favorite book and really recommends it
>mfw he's also a militant atheist
>mfw his humor now consists of quoting Rick & Morty
>mfw he's a libertarian
I asked him if he's browses reddit and he said no

>>8507552

this one hurts man, lol

>>8509097
I mean, the problem was you not the political ideology you chose to define yourself

>I was always intelligent and self-aware

Haha, take that you autists.

>read while walking since age 12

>carried IJ with me everywhere, reading it in public as often as possible

>still sometimes mention IJ to friends when we talk about books bc they havent read it and it makes me feel patrician

>read biographies of lenin and trotzky with 15, thought i was a communist for a few years

>thought I understood Goedel and used it to confuse people i argued with

>identified strongly with hal from IJ, started smoking weed alone to be like him

kill me already

>>8509459
On my folder in seventh grade I wrote "Marxist 4 Life" and drew a hammer and sickle. It hurts thinking about it.

>>8506418
>make sure to expose some thigh

I wrote about my friend and his family one time and posted it on /r9k/ and was made fun of because it was so beta when it was simply observations. Felt bad after that.

>>8509652
>played Bioshock when I was in high school
>decided this meant I was an expert on Ayn Rand and began my anti-Rand crusade
>10th grade English teacher gives us a group assignment to basically write Anthem fanfiction
>supposed to be basically a sequel chapter to the end of the book
>immediately take this opportunity to write the entire thing myself with no input from the group about how the main character's son would become a capitalism-fueled sociopath and try to fuck his own mom
>hand this to my group members
>they visibly cringe and just write something else to turn in

A-At least that teacher thought I was a good writer

>>8510650
>try to fuck his own mom
Explain.

>come from a poor but well read family
>brought up reading and studying books
>I am basically a state school polymath because of my slightly above average upbringing
>whenever asked to read my work to the class I'd sperg out or play dumb for fear of seeming precocious
It's strange when you feel both superior and self conscious at the same time, despite knowing you are merely above average

>>8510741
Well there are no other women around, and because I was edgy I decided his capitalist upbringing meant he would be compelled to compete with his dad for the only puss around.

>>8508861
5 years, especially the 5 years after like 10th grade, is plenty of time to be a v different person

>>8507285
Why did you actually text quote the whole thing like it's reddit or a fourm lol wtf

>>8509097
>>8509260
>>8509459

W E W
E
W

>>8509626
out of everything in this thread this made me laugh the hardest

>>8509167
28

>>8509260

>tfw you were that kid

In grade 8 the social studies teacher lost her temper at me.

"DO YOU WANT TO TEACH THE CLASS ANON? HUH? HUH? WELL GET UP AND TEACH IT THEN"

We made friends by the end of high school but the memory still makes me wince.

>>8509264
I also agree that Joyce wasn't hard to read, I just stopped reading it because at the time I felt my background in philosophy and Greek mythology wasn't strong enough to fully appreciate it.

>>8510953
*Ulysses wasn't hard to read

>>8510920
WTF

>>8510962
Posthomerica should be mentioned with the Greek Epic Fragments.

>>8505893

>>8510920
W H A T ?

>>8506384
Stop being a pseud and read a shitload of Catholic philosophy to prove them wrong in their jeebus fantasy.

>>8510953
You really only have to know the odyssey. Aside from that it's hamlet and the bible. If you've read those three you're good

>>8505460
Underrated post.

>>8508940
yeah that is pretty cringe

Damn, this thread made me remember something... horrible

>be me age 11 or so
>at the time I had only ever read harry potter, it was my first "book" and I didn't know where to go from there
>one day, walking to school while reading harry potter
>come across some girls from my class
>"oh hey anon, you read hp?"
>in a suave yet bored way I reply "yeah", *sigh* "again"
>they look slightly confused
>"so you read it before?"
>now I look at them like they're stupid for not knowing this
>"yeah, only like... thirteen times"
>"oh... ok"
>they quickly exchange looks
>I continue reading and slowly walk away, glancing back

They were not impressed.

>>8508047
savagery

>>8509097
>doing shit like leaving stuff out for others to see

literally every teen did this, only cringe was being a communist

>>8505310
see >>8511781

>7th grade
>i want to look like a intelligent book reader
>take a part of 'war and peace'' in school even through i didn't read any books ever
>''hey anon, is it something about hitler and second world war?''
>''no, it's about napoleon''

>be me
>had a goodreads account

>>8508568
>guy being retarded
>lol what a retard.

>girl being retarded
>Must be a woman thing.

Admit to me right here and right now that not onl have you never been intimate in any capacity with a woman not related to, not a single one has ever shown interest in you. Once you do that, we can go ahead with fixing your ruined psyche.

>>8511995
>never been intimate in any capacity with a woman not related to
True.
>not a single one has ever shown interest in you
Wrong. My wife/cousin finds me hot af.

>>8509459
>>8509573
thanks

>>8512131

>>8508901
>clubs publicizing yesterday
>go to the english club table
>ask if they only read works originally published in english
>ask if they bother with Joyce or Gaddis
>she can't answer
>she hasn't read don quixote or les mis because it wasn't in english
>table is littered with pleb entry level garbage

>>8509220
still spooked

>>8509952
>being libertarian is bad

>>8508901
>BE ME
>in class
>teacher asks what our favourite book is
>harry potter
>game of thrones
>great gatsby
>hunger games
>these people are all 18

>>8512360
>third year in college
>take a writing class
>read Recitatif
>everybody raises their hand talking about which one they thought was the black one and which was the white one

THE POINT IS THERE'S NO WAY TO FIGURE IT OUT AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT THEM AS INDIVIDUALS AND NOT BY RACE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HOW DID YOU EVEN GET HERE

>>8512376
Worse is when people laugh at you for actually reading anything that isn't some shit YA fiction.

>mention Chaucer when talking about an essay I wrote on Sir Gawain and the Green Knight with teacher
>hear some fat cunt say "woah sorry mr. intellectual!!"

She even has one of those Superwholock fandom tumblrs where she reposts fanfictions about characters from her favourite dystopian YA thriller going gay for each other. baka lads.

>>8511995
>not respecting women = unattractive to women
Yea, no

>>8512389
>Worse is when people laugh at you for actually reading anything that isn't some shit YA fiction.

This reminds me of an episode I had with my sister last week

>she walks into the kitchen
>notices my bilingual edition of Spinozas Ethics on the table
>"So you're learning Latin now?"
>"I already did"
>...
>"Anon, don't you feel stupid?"

>>8506418
you can add posting in this thread to your /lit/ cringe file

>>8512487
Well, did you?

>>8512376
>THERE'S NO WAY TO FIGURE IT OUT
for you

>>8510770
Fucking kek

>>8510650
this is hilarious and not cringe at all

>>8512793
>this is hilarious and not cringe at all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0B7Z3JERdk

>>8505338
>>8507506
I swear I see you everywhere.

who /bigreaderfromworkingclassfamily/ here?

have a lot of cringe thinking about how they mocked my reading tbqh.

>>8512850
tfw /bigreaderfromuppermiddleclassfamily/

Mom consistently praised me and told everyone how I was so smart and read such hard books. Made me cringe and feel like the pseud I really was and am.

>>8508028
pussy,suck that pain the fuck up and sit your ass down. you asked for this.

>>8512873
See I never had that problem with 'legitimacy' that a lot of young intellectual types suffer from.

Just a feeling of displacement instead.

We once had to write an assignment about what we did last summer. We would get bonus points for original titles. I titled mine "What I Did Last Summer" and got 0/5 for 'originality of the title.' Proceeded to have a long discussion about how my title was original per definition since everyone else had another title.

>>8512889
You sound pretty alpha to me.

>>8512889
sounds cool dude

>>8509626
Jesus Christ, this is wonderful.

Post some excerpts if you ever find them, please.

>>8512873

My mom bought be a lot of books or got them from the library.

My dad bought math workbooks and made me do them in my spare time. Because math is more important in "the business world."

>be me
>end of summer
>first year of college starting soon
>most friends are too busy to talk
>gf and i just split
>all i do is talk with parents, chill in room or go to work
>at work one day
>notice qt co-worker
>tummy looks larger than usual
>ohshit she's pregnant
>she's only 17
>She's still in high school
>fuck
>hard to stop thinking about her
>first teen pregnancy i've seen first hand
>feel like I should help in some way
>write short poem
>don't sign it
>slip it into envelope with some money
>clip to her paycheck envelope on payday
>say nothing

Don't know if this is cringe, got weird mixed feelings about the whole damn thing.

>>8512917
Sounds like you got the best of both worlds anon.
Mathematics is the most beautiful and important thing in the world.

>>8512206
>Implying what you think is a libertarian is even a libertarian and not americans not understanding english, as usual

Fuck, this thread is giving me flashbacks to the communist phase I had in high school

>>8512932

I suppose so. Our neighbor was a airline pilot and he told us he had a B.Sc. before he went to flight training and I told my dad that I could do that, because I was good at physics. He said, "No, he meant applied science, engineering." Even when I got accepted into business school he was still harping on about engineering or law. He failed out of engineering in college before getting a BComm, and my brother is already an accountant, so I think he's living a bit vicariously.

Either that or the idea of having two sons in two different professions is more appealing than having one son at Deloitte and one at 4-Star Audit.

>>8512833
being this new

>>8512850
I am, but they've never mocked me.

>Be 13
>First year of high school
>Convince that I want people to perceive me as a mysterious intellectual
>Cute girl from another class has a crush on me
>Adds me on messenger and we start talking
>"So anon what do you like to do in your spare time"
>"I read"
>"Oh me too, I love Harry Potter, To Kill a Mockingbird and some other entry level book"
>"What kind of books do you like anon"
>Start name dropping books I didn't even read but I convince myself I did like Ulisses, Lolita, Atla's Struggle and a bunch of other
>Made a huge fucking list of books I didn't even touch at that time
>"Oh ok"
>She didn't reply anymore and started dating a another guy
I wish I could go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Not really pretentious cringe( though I had a lot of those moments to), but pretty cringe nonetheless. One of my dads friends/clients was over for a house party and brought his daughter, a really cute girl who read the same books that I did. I think they were trying to set us up because somehow they sent her up to my room to look at my books. It was very awkward and we basically just sat on my bed, neither of us knowing what to say to each other. There was only one exchange were we briefly talked about Septimus Heap, she wondered aloud how many books there were and I told her seven were planned because he was a seventh son. Eventually we both just kind of left without a word. I was pretty socially retarded back then, so it's very frustrating to think back on what could have been. Especially given my numerous failures with women since then. Thanks for letting me vent about this.

>reading vol. 1 of penguin edition of Gibbon's decline and fall
>genuinely no pretentiousness behind it, just wanted something to read on the way to class and was sick of the book i was already reading so grabbed gibbon
>get to class barely on time, had to run
>toss book onto the desk as i put my other shit down quickly
>guy next to me asks seemingly innocently if i'm "really reading" gibbon
>talk to him about it for a minute
>feel good, like i had an enjoyable convo about cool author at university for once
>think about it at random later, initially positively
>realize in retrospect it must have looked like i slammed the book down like YEAH, LOOK AT THAT SHIT, LOOK AT THIS MIGHTY TOME I'M READING WITH MY FEARSOME INTELLECT, EVERYONE LOOK!!!!!!!!!!
>realize his initial question had been kind of sarcastic
>realize i must have looked like i was preening and going "heh yeah i totally am ;)"
>mfw i just wanted to talk about book with friend

>>8505893

>Be 16
>Write long essay on the emotional anguish my brother caused me
>Hand it in

>>8510765
> It's strange when you feel both superior and self conscious at the same time, despite knowing you are merely above average

This hits too close to home, mate. I understand you

>>8506846
You all laugh at him, but if you have no /lit/ in your family or friend circle, this is basically how books look on tv.

>>8507959
Same. I still can't do small talk about either. I make it about two minutes before I can't hold back the autism and "hey do you know about the stages of despair? Yea Abraham was pretty baller what with that movement of infinity, do you know Camus? Atheist in name only, hoowee!" happens.

>>8506371
Realms of Arkania

All throughout middle school, junior high, and high school, I hid the cover of a book I was reading either by laying it completely open on my desk while reading or, if paperback, folding the cover over. Inevitably a classmate or the teacher would ask what I was reading and what it was about. It made me freak out so much. Especially if I was reading something embarassing. It's not so much what I did that was cringe, but I guess I'm an introverted weirdo since that made me cringe.

>>8513294
What were you reading to be so embarrassed?

>>8513334
Shit like Brontë sisters, Amy Tan and Louisa May Alcott. I felt like a middle aged soccer mom who goes to the neighborhood book club enough while reading their stuff, much less explaining them to other people.

>>8512924
This seems kind of sweet, idk what the girl would think though. I guess it's technically not great to assume she needs money but I'm sure you knew her situation at least better than I do

>>8513144
>not buying the everyman's edition

there's your first mistake, anon.

>>8505338
The layers of irony conveyed in this meme is amazing.

>>8512924
That's a real nice thing to do, what was the poem?

>>8513365
figured that anyone still in higschool could use more money.

I was curious to see if she would mention it, so when we were working the same shift a week later I asked how things were and if anything fun had happened. She didn't mention the letter.
That's fine, least she isn't the kind of girl to act like a bitch and flaunt it around saying "some weirdo gave me this, like wut? lol" so i'll take that for what it's worth. Glad i at least did something, always tend to regret doing nothing more than doing something.

>>8512924
I'm ok with this.

>>8513432
I think I like you. I wanna know more about this poem. Do ya think you could post it?

>>8513425
>>8513491
ok. I named it after her. posted a draft in a critique thread and was advised to take a Dr. Seuss approach to it. For my first poem, i'm proud of it.

Cassandra

I have not heard,
Nor have I seen
of a sound
or a sight
so quaint
so dear.

I have not seen,
nor have I heard
of a dream
or a song
so pure
so clear.

but I have seen,
and I have heard
of a girl
or a saint.
so brave
no fear.

>>8513511
I like it a lot anon

>>8513511
Kinda cringey but well done at the same time. Something I would expect a talented high schooler to submit in a contest or something.

>>8513529
thanks
>>8513616
I appreciate the honesty. Partially why i didn't put my name on it.

BTW, sorry OP. didn't mean to get my feels in your cringe thread

>be me
>16
>tried to get into a bit harder literature
>went to the adult section of the library
>picked up a random book
>Lolita
>read the first 30 or so pages
>seemsgood.jpg
>take the book home, my family is very illiterate so they didn't say anything
>take it to school to read in my free time
>teacher sees me reading it
>shouts at me
>takes me to the principal
>expells me for a week.

I didn't even know what the fuck was going on and why I was being punished for reading a book.

>>8505328
Whoever posted this as cringe has never listened to decent rock music before

>>8513680
that's super fucked-up, if true.

>>8513674
>>8513511
you're all right, anon.

>>8513680
There isn't even much smut in it jfc, the lolita complex has to do with humbert humbert and his obsession and batshit justifications

There's more smut in a lot of literature read in high school than in Lolita. Especially here in Canada where there's a lot of YA involving 'deep allegories' of white men raping Native girls that are pushed into English classes.

>>8513680
This isn't really cringey, just kind of funny in a surreal way

>>8505460
>start teaching high school English
>teacher before me wrote to the Ayn Rand Foundation
>have brand new class sets of Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged, and Anthem

>>8513680
What are you from 1878 Alabama?

>>8512932
>Mathematics is the most beautiful and important thing in the world.
top kek

>>8512924
Why do you assume so much. My wife is 17 and pregnant and the only 'struggles' it might cause is forcing her to take a semester online.

Get a grip, all that white trash you've seen on the idiotbox has kind of warped your perspective.
>>8513722
no you fucking idiot lolita wasnt even published then get off my bored

>>8513680
That's some shit. I'm just happy my students are reading.

Fucking seniors struggling with Gary Paulsen's Hatchet, but they're reading. I have a girl reading 50 Shades of Gray. IDGAF. Just be in contact with the written English language.

It's weird when you see a population that doesn't value reading. Their ideas are solid, but they spell phonetically and write like they speak.

>>8513764
Isn't English extremely odd in that it's accepted spellings will often stray from their phonetics? I think some Oriental languages do too, but do so radically rather than deceptively. Blame it on being a thief-language, I guess.

>>8513777
Yes, though, my memory of French is that it also drops the last consonant sounds which would make phonetic spelling interesting, but that is a foggy memory.

The thing I'm combating isn't common word errors, it is spelling filtered through accented speaking. It's like Chesnutt writing in Southern dialect but taken a step further and done without self-awareness. That on top of still messing up homophones like too, to, and two and there, their, and they're, not capitalizing because auto-correct is finally having consequences (girl asked me what to do because the first word of a sentence wasn't autocapitalizing in Word), and being indoctrinated to believe that quitting is perfectly acceptable because muh ADD or muh surroundings.

After typing this, I feel bloggy, so I'll stop. Sorry.

>>8513713
Imagine yourself in my 16 years old's shoes. That crazy woman shouting at me and I must've had the most confused look on my face.

>>8513722
Public Highschool in Texas.

>>8513764

wtf my grade 6 class read hatchet for language arts are you being srs right now?

>>8513827
Yeah. Kids slip through the cracks, their parents don't value education, or they have some special snowflake status (which are sometimes valid) that has allowed them to never have to improve their skills.

Try as I might, I can't take a kid from an 8th grade reading level to 12th in a year. Just a systemic and societal failure. These aren't kids you'll ever run into in the college dining halls, though. They are salt of the earth folk who will work on your car, grow your food, or do your lawn and do a good job of it. So, maybe it all doesn't matter in the end.

Who'da thunk this board is full of posers and complete losers?

Back in the day I'd always put my cock in the Writing Machine and write Haikues before raping my little (petite) younger cousin, Hillary. Kinda embarrasing to think about it now, though, haha.

>>8513715
that suuuucks dude

>>8512360
Can I get some examples that wouldn't make me a pleb?

>>8513076
born to be on /lit/

>>8509117
Holy shit

I don't know if this is cringe or not, but here I go.
>Be 19
>Looking for a nice girl
>Meet one online, go on a few dates
>Its going well
>One day things get frisky
>We go back to my place
>She glances at my library
>Get great idea
>We're going at it
>I grab my copy of infinite jest
>I start reading it without slowing down
>She can't believe how patrician I am
>Decided to step things up
>I pull out my dick and jizz into my copy of infinite jest
>Doesn't talk the rest of the night
>Never heard from her again

>>8513272
I'd sure love to have a chit-chat with you

>>8509626
kek

>>8510770
>t. Freud

>>8514333
>trips of truth
u madman

>>8514333
Actually laughed, thanks lad

>>8512004
Kek
>>8513511
This is actually good and considering you were 17, I was expecting something cringy as fuck.
>>8513744
I remember you, you are that idiot who married a 16 year old girl last year and talked about how incredibly vapid she is.

>>8513701

>used to bring out a 9/11 conspiracy book in my english lessons

>>8513680
>be me
>11 or 12
>I brought an issue of ultimate spider man that had MJ coming out of the shower
>I had the internet so for me it was tame as shit
>others started jzzing themselves
>principle told me to never bring any non school books

>>8510650
how would objectivism lead to fucking your mom? even bioshock objectivism

>read richard dawkin's books in middle school and debated my christian friend at lunch every day

>>8515390
So many have fallen down the pit of militant atheism.

>>8512889
I would also have done this

>>8513984
Italo Calvino and Borges are usually great answers. They're widely known and liked by people who do read and yet most normies havent even heard of them.

>>8512937
The answer to 1984 is 1936.

>>8505328
Wait what?? Why would this be cringe?

>>8512873
>tfw
>tfw don't even like reading, just do it for escapism, even at a young age
>read less and less since the internet is more efficient escapism
>want to die more and more every day

>>8507991
bununla ne demek istedin?

>>8515399
it is the one true path.
>>8515390
Did you convince him?

>>8516106
Not at the time. He went to a different HS and before we went to college he told me he realized he was wrong then. I don't think my arguments/regurgitation had anything to do with it though

>>8506127
My kinda woman

>>8507285

wew lad, you went full autism there.

>be me
>heading up north to hang with cousins
>my cousin who is 7 years younger than me always trys to impress me
>he knows I like to read
>he brings 1984 to the gathering
>he only reads it when I'm nearby
>this goes on for a day or 2
>I don't really say anything
>talking to my other cousin
>she's pretty /lit/
>she tells me he's been reading 1984 all summer just to impress me
>she's tried offering him other books to read but he refuses because he only wants to read boiks he's seen me read
>I can't recall reading 1984 in a long time
>I remember that underneath the bed in my guest room was bunch of books from high school
>its all shit from Marx, harry potter, and entry level shit
>I end up talking to him about the book
>he couldn't answer most questions I asked about it
>he couldn't name other books by George Orwell
>I ask him if he would like to read animal farm
> he says "I'm not really into animals"
Mfw

reading this in public
also I am a fat male 27yo

>history class
>kid in class talks about memes constantly
>connects everythjng back to memes
>will repeat the text from memes
>even to the teacher
>he also physically dabs multiple times throughout class

not so lit, but, here goes
>be me
>be born in muslim country
>turn irreligious at 13
>bring a qur'an to school to "read" (make fun of) it with my irreligious friend
>some female "friend" sees the book
info: muslims think quran has to be held above waist-height, otherwise it is an insult
>"is that kuran"?
>smirk, say yes, kick the bag playfully and to insult
>she takes up the bag and carries it to the class
well, at least it made me interact with a girl :^)

>>8515294
>he doesnt fuck his own mom
Cringe

>>8516242
That's not so bad, I read this in public before.

>>8513076
>Atla's Struggle
Oh boy

>>8514333
Holy shiet

>>8513354
Lol what. Being embarrassed about reading good literature like the works from the Bronte sisters is more cringe than what you did with the covers. Anyone who genuinely cares about literature has read their work.

>>8510028
>started smoking weed alone to be like him
lmao, dfw would have rolled in his grave

I frequent an online internet forum where I like to shitpost about authors I don't know using wikipedia as a source.

I flaunt my pessimism as a way to appear intellectually superior to my peers; I wank to the same meme philosophers on a daily basis.

>>8517240
that is actually pretty good, not cringe at all

>>8517243

>>8517269

>>8517272
Holy... I want more...

>>8517283

>>8510920

>>8517283
this is actually pretty good, not cringe at all :-)

>>8517291
What am I looking at? Is that a Japanese school bathing suit covered in both crusty and new semen?

>>8506353
That post in this thread is real meta.

>>8517381
It's vomit if I recall correctly

>>8517381
that would be correct.

>>8506364

Haha oh m8

>>8509260
RIP Breece

>>8512850
>subtle class bigotry

Your family mocked you because they're stupid, not because they're working class.

The comfiest life is that of the well-read prole.

>>8510765
Holy shit man. That's a perfect way to describe that feeling.

>>8511995
Guilty. Don't deny it. I have a tinder purely to keep up the appearance that I'm still looking for a relationship and haven't given up hope yet.

>>8512873
I get it anon. Mine has me IQ tested and everything. Advanced classes in elementary school. Too bad they let me watch TV for 8 hours a day. Now my life goal is to prove I'm not a complete pseud and kill myself as soon as possible.

>>8510765
This is me. Beautifully written

>>8505310
>repeated Greek philosophy throughout highschool
>senior year I finally get sick of Plato's cave bullshit
>ask professor after class when we'll be done reviewing fundimentalism
I'm such an idiot

>>8510765
Are you me? That's literally me. We could be lovers.

>7th grade
>take book to school
>all pupils read normal whatever book
>have Tolstoy's second part of ''War and Peace''
>language teacher comes
>''oh, you have the second part of tolstoy''
>almost implying i would have the first part
>''i didn't think someone ever would have it here''
>''how is it?''
>umm
>i actually never read a book expect for school
>''the style is beautiful''

>>8517919
I was the opposite. I basically got /lit/ to do my homework for me all the time and there was one slide show I did that went really deep into Marxism and played off a ton of different philosophers. My teacher treated me as more intellectual and the feminazis stopped trying to argue every statement I made after that, and I didn't even know half of what I was talking about. Feels good to be successful at doing shit-bag things.

>>8517894
>That's literally me. We could be lovers.

>>8517986
Caught MEE

>>8513511
This is good and comfy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwkdGr9JYmE

>>8513511
lmao that is horrible. wtf

this board is shit

>>8518037
bill's #1 reason for reading is purely economic/classist, how surprising

>>8518037
why do people think this lad is funny?

>>8507481
I used to think reading would make smart girls like me, but I almost immediately dropped so far down a few specific rabbitholes of books that now (a) I am more interested in reading my book than talking to a cute girl who may be interested in me exactly because I'm reading, and (b) on the rare occasion someone does ask me about what I'm reading, I struggle to explain what it is and why I'm reading it, and often just prefer to deflect with bad humor, like referring to an obviously daunting book as "just some light reading haha."

I just want to be left alone forever with my books.

>>8518075
This

>>8512206
>culmination of centuries of economic, social and political science
>"just leave it, it'll be 'ite"

>>8518084
have you even taken economics lessons?

>>8505328
how /lit/ has degenerated

>>8507285
this is the most autistic post of the thread

>>8507451
But consciously making the decision to protest voting by not voting is not nihilistic at all

>>8507801
Alexander :3

>>8508028
pretty obvious bait
can't believe the normie cunts fall for this

>>8516106
You poor lost soul

>>8510770
this is a pretty great premise desu

>>8513401
i have the time machine modulus album
that band is sick dude fuck you

>>8518057
>why do people think this lad is funny?
They don't. He's similar to Carlin in that he makes sweeping generalizions about obvious truths. Normies eat that shit up.

At least Carlin could tell funny jokes when he wanted to.

>>8513859
If your going to teach them thinking "These aren't the kids you'll ever run into in the college dining halls" then you are definitely not doing a good job.

Freshmen year of high school, I would finish my tests early and read the Bible.

>>8510920

>>8509220
This is essential /lit/. Recognize literature from memes but never actually read it.

>>8505328
can someone post the copypasta?

>>8520550
I'm still not sure I have the right way to handle them yet. I think the awareness of where they see themselves is important because it affects how I manage their motivation. I can't use college as the carrot and the stick when very few are going to a four year college.

I still teach them all the collegy things but filtered through concrete application instead of the more traditional approaches.

Am I fucking up some days? Almost certainly.