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/lit/ - Literature

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8214037 No.8214037 [Reply] [Original]

Here is my attempt at writing poetry to add into my GFs birthday card that is for the 1st July. I don't claim to be good or even educated in the matter beyond GCSE English in the subject, but neither is she.

What do you make of the following:

When I search the depths of my heart,
for non but me to see,
what was discover deep within,
is my love for you with me.

The heart within my chest,
is bound by lock and key,
yet this is no cause for lament,
Nor worry or torment.

For it is a promise of consent,
eminating a candesant aura,
which can only be my love for you,
my beautiful and beloved,
Laura.


Thoughts? Criticisms? Amendments? Advice?

>> No.8214082

Holy fucking shit, buddy.

>> No.8214089

>>8214082
What?

>> No.8214092

like literally holy shit

>> No.8214099

I just cringed, AMA! Don't forget to visit reddt and upvote OP's posts for some sweet sweet karma! Thanks!

>> No.8214121
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8214121

>>8214082
>>8214092
>>8214099
Narcissicm, cynicism and hatred of fellow man. Spitefulness and anger. Why? You know and I do. It doesn't even need to be said.

>> No.8214131

>>8214121
Where did you find that picture of me?