/lit/ - Literature

That could have ended embarassingly for you.

I own several Stephen King books.

I read and enjoyed Twilight.

Harry Potter got me into reading 11 years ago.

>>773167
ditto

At the time of their release, I actually thought Dan Brown's books were "clever."

>>773173
o god, same ;_;

I enjoy pulp-era scifi.

>>773173
;-;

I own Terry Goodkinds "Sword of Truth" series and several Clive Cussler books.

>>773173
>>773191
>>773194
>>773195
nothing wrong with any of these

When I was 9 years old I masturbated while continually re-reading a description of a female character in one of the 'Fear Street' novels by R.L.Stine

>>773181

Dan Brown books are clever, they're just not intelligent. There is a difference. And they're not entirely factual either, but since most thrillers aren't I don't see why that should be a fault only Dan Brown books are accused of.

>>773206
>And they're not entirely factual either,
>And they're not entirely factual either,
>And they're not entirely factual either,
>And they're not entirely factual either,

>>773209
Well, the issue is that they claim to be factual - or at least they claim that a lot of the technology and the background is true, even if the story is not. So for example, in the forewords to the books, he claims that the computer stuff in Digital Fortress, or the technology in Deception Point, or a lot of the background to the conspiracy in Angels & Demons is all true, when in fact a lot of it is wrong - hilariously so, in the first two cases.

I remember the Trivianovels in my homelibary better than the intelectual pieces.
I know it's a shame.

>>773213
i think he was objecting to your use of "entirely" and implying that they're not AT ALL factual

I've never finished half of the books I started

>>773228
not the same dude

>>773160

I once flipped out, threatened to run away and never come back, and tried to rape myself with a remote because my mom cancelled my World of Warcraft account.

Once i fapped in a public library.

I used to read the sex scenes in romance novels.

I read Dianetics. Just to see what it was like.

I once left a book in a car for well over a year.

Bleached? You fucking bet it was.

When I was 12 I stole over 50 books from my local public library
1-3 at a time.
I am still at large.

I didn't finish Moby Dick.

>>773276

No one does.

>>773282

>No one should.

ftfy

>>773282
I did, the whale ends up dying on the moon

>>773284
hahahHA AHhah AHA Hha H AHah AH HA

>>773283

It's not that it was a bad book, I actually quite enjoyed it, it was just so god damn impenetrable. A combination of antiquated language and Melville's habit of using bullshit words, even in the time, made it genuinely hard to read. It would take me more than a minute a page, and eventually I gave up because it became a chore.

I went straight for Nietzsche when I studied philosophy and understood everything quite well. Thank you, internet.

>>773291

Naw, it's a pretty terrible book. It's alright to admit it.

I read Star Wars novels. Frequently. My favourite book - and so far, the only novel I've read more than once - is a Star Wars book.

>>773291
you know there is a technique in reading where you just simply read the book and don't bother to reach for the dictionary every time you come across a strange word. You need to allow yourself to become immersed in the narrative in order to absorb the information and themes presented within. I felt Moby Dick was quite a trial, but I was proud that I finished it.

My literary crimes? I own copies of "Real Ultimate Power" and "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell". I owned a Clive Cussler book for a few days (didn't read more than 3 pages though). I enjoyed Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. I own and display books I haven't read nor have definite aims to read. I didn't finish "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man".

I think that's it.

I've read Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, and I loved them both.

I also bought Deception Point the other day, but purely because it was "four books for one pound", and I needed a fourth.

I read Harry Potter when I was 14-15.
I read YA fiction when I was 11 or so.
These are my greatest literary crimes.
Otherwise I've only ever read literary fiction.

My entire family re-reads the entire Harry Potter series at least once a year. We have at least 5 copies of each book. I also don't own a single thing done by Shakespeare. I want the entire works but I don't have the money.

I've gotten boners from both Lolita and Gravity's Rainbow.

>>773401
>>773379
As much as the e/lit/ists would argue, there's nothing wrong with Potter. Rowling is a good author and the series is a good story. It's not like Twilight or some shit.

After finishing the iliad and the odyssey I read new moon because my brain ached.

>>773443
I suppose that is true. The fanbase isn't nearly as psychotic. To the best of my knowledge there isn't a mylifeisharrypotter site. There probably is, but if I remain ignorant of it, it does not exist. The most bitching about Harry Potter I ever hear is how after the third movie, the rest of the movies started to go to shit.

I bought The Divine Comedy a year ago, I've read about half way through Inferno.
I enjoyed Russell Brand's autobiography.

>>773452
And how there are differences between the UK and US versions. Small, subtle differences. It kind of pisses me off when authors do shit like that.

>>773274

LOL me too! I don't know if I have those books anymore though. Most of them were garbage and no one would miss them.

>>773274
>I am still at large.

I couldn't help but laugh at this. I can just imagine you being a 'Library Outlaw'. Sketch artists' assumptions of what you look like pinned up at various libraries across your city.

>>773452
Are you kidding me? MLIA?

>>773531
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/061808/legalize-books.gif

Pic barely related. More than OP can say, I guess...

I read the first two books in the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini as a kid and enjoyed them. I am now reading through the three in anticipation of the fourth. I still enjoy them, though I am fully aware of their shortfalls.

>>773635
>>773401
>>773379
>>773367
>>773311
>>773206
>>773170
>>773167
>>773181
>>773173

It's amusing to see a thread where people admit their "literary crimes." There's nothing wrong with any of these things and they shouldn't be called crimes just because snobs look down upon them nowadays. No snob began reading with a copy of Crime and Punishment. This board is full of people who are out to prove their greatness to other faceless and anonymous individuals. Every day there's the same regurgitated hate for Rand, Palahniuk, Kerouac, Meyer, and several other authors and continual praise for authors with more merit by 12th Grade kids in AP courses and first year University students. Get over yourselves.

1. When i was in High School, I enjoyed reading Anthem.
2. I'm on the fourth book of Ender's Quartet series, Children of the Mind, and I DON'T hate it...

>>773813

4chan has always been elitist. And /lit/ prides itself as the most elitist of all boards. There's no changing it.

>>773439

You were supposed to.

>>773829

Oh I know. I think that a lot of these elitists are more humble in real life and when they are granted the title of anonymous they can release their inner snob.

>>773439

I've gotten boners from A Song of Ice and Fire...

I cannot get through The Thrawn Trilogy. I don't get why Star Wars fans can like it. Timothy Zahn uses the same words over and over again. How many times can a character frown, grimace or twist their lips?

>>773813
You, sir, are incredibly boring.. and furthermore you're an idiot if you haven't realized that this is a light-hearted thread, not supposed to be taken seriously and is usually used for nostalgic purposes. HERP A DERP DERP

all my philosophy pretentions come from a christopher norris exposition of deconstruction I recommend and I read kant heigel husserl marx neitchze freud sarte wittgenstein austin lyotard bachelard heidegger and other articles on wikipedia

I never finished The Executioner's Song by Norman Mailer or Banjo by Claude McKay.

I hate poetry. I know for some people it serves a purpose, but I prefer short stories and novels.

I did not like 1984
at all

>>773847
Although I loved the Thrawn Trilogy (and Zahn in general - I'm the one who posted above about the Star Wars novels), I know what you mean. I didn't notice it in Zahn's novels, but I did notice when I was reading The Black Magician Trilogy by Trudi Canavan. Every chapter someone's "heart skipped a beat" or someone "caught their breath". Every. Fucking. Chapter. For three books.

A good portion of my knowledge (especially science and philosophy) comes from listening to Ricky Gervais podcasts. Believe it or not, he's a very intelligent guy, so when he starts talking about something, you're bound to learn a thing or two.

>>773898
Second.

I think kants writing style is dryer then an old vagina.

I didn't 'get' a good portion of Notes From Underground.

I hated Catch-22 with a burning passion

I started reading seriously when I was 15, but I had had many opportunities to do so sooner. I was too busy reading...YA fiction.

i stopped reading when i was 14 and started again when i was 23

ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY ZIGGURAT INTO MORDORR

I smoke too much weed so I cant really concentrate on reading. I haven't read a book through uni, Im in second year english

>>773635
You do need to feel bad about that.

I think Fahrenheit 451 is stupid and tries too hard

I still read and enjoy YA fiction.

>>774004
agree but with the stipulation that the first like 60-80 pagers were good. then he said 'fuck pacing, fuck plot, fuck character development, fuck this world, and fuck you' and thats how the rest of book was written

>>774023
if you want to know the truth about Fahrenheit 451 it's this: it was originally a short story, published in the first two issues of Playboy. A publisher picked it up and said he wanted it to become a book, but it was too short, so Bradbury added 150 pages of dialog and called it a day.

I steal from libraries.

>>773903

I'm halfway through "Apropos Of The Wet Snow", and I would have to agree. Granted, I get the second half (almost all of it) so far compared to the "Underground" section. I enjoy it though, and don't want it to prevent me from reading more Dostoevsky.

>>773194

dude. thats not a crime.

>>774004

thats more of an opinion than a crime. i also agree with you.

>>773158

did you know moot is a thief? www.anonfalk.se except t instead of f in the middle because moot is a psycho 5ee0734e02e60863c1f71a8927a29680

the bot "knows"

I only read Three Kingdoms because I played the video games.

>>773846

Me too.

>>774083
Well, I enjoy E.R. Burroughs, and he's the most racist, misogynistic man dead.

>>774055
I, too, have indulged in such behavior .. monitors, a computer mouse, a set of speakers. All on seperate occasions.

>>773902
I see what you did there. Who doesn't?

>>773453
I, too, thoroughly enjoyed Russell Brand's autobiography.

My crime being, I enjoyed it better than The Idiot.

Woe is me.

i had to read the da vinci code twice to realize it was crap

I haven't read but 1/4 of the books I own, and my bookshelf is overflowing.
I've never read a Harry Potter book and found Frankenstein to be a chore that would have worked better as a short story.

Three of my ten favourite books are Hardy Boys stories

I read classic literature so I can think of myself as cultured, but without really understanding or enjoying it.

I have never read Douglas Adams and have no intention to.

I spent a good amount of my childhood thinking reading was a chore and opted to play videogames or watch TV instead.

Sometimes I think certain books OUGHT to be censored and/or burned because of how much stupidity they breed.

Tomorrow I will attend the final exam on becoming an english teacher. I hate litterature. I hate kids. I will force them to read shitty litterature and encurage them to watch movies and play computergames instead.

Stephen King is one of my favorite authors and I love his books.

>>774063
I'm so glad someone else agrees with me. In fact, I'd have to mirror your words pretty much 100%.

>>774239
>litterature
>litterature
>encurage
>computergames
You will never be an English teacher in a developed country.

Not really a crime, more of an act of protest.

Alice Munro is a shit Canadian cunt.

I just read The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner and really enjoyed it. I have also read and enjoyed the other Twilight books, along with The Host, also by Stephenie Meyer. Lastly, I met Stephenie Meyer herself two and a bit years ago and I thought that she was very nice, very modest, and a pleasure to speak with.

I'm ashamed of myself, but probably not as ashamed as /lit/ would like me to be.

I'm a fourth year university English student and I know fuck all about Shakespeare. I've only ever read Lear.

I've also written papers on Dracula, more than once, over the course of my studies. I've never finished the book.

I think Stephen, King of Trolls actually writes pretty good books.

I enjoyed Harry Potter.

I also enjoyed The Dark Tower.

I hate poetry, and advocate that it is what causes people to hate taking English courses (from personal experience, if it wasn't for my college professors, I wouldn't have been an English major).

I despise Shakespeare, even after reading his "Greatest Works." (Plotlines are generic, someone was bound to write the stories he wrote. Very formulaic but no one seems to see that).

I can't spell.

I haven't read some of the books my girlfriend read, but I'm able to still talk to her about it because google+natural cunning goes a long way.

Feels bad at times man. But I have my own stuff to read.

I have read each of the Harry Potter novels.


Three times.


Each.

I've written numerous poems and I have no idea what they're supposed to mean. They're just lines of words that have no business being together.

I have never read a Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter book and have no intention of doing so.

>>773160

Oh god... I lol'd. I'd pay to see something like this.

I own an annotated copy of the Dragonlance chronicles.

>>775521
Go here for the whole thing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JK6yz_9mp4I

I like reading Mack Bolan.

I like fantasy.

I don't like tolstoj. If I want a soap serie, I'll watch a soap serie.

>>773156
remo ve y our il leg al clo ne moota rd www.anongalk.se except t instead of g in the mid dle be cause po olar bear is a psyc ho thi ef 994b91f583ce9c895a5b78cff4a2db5f

Bumping this brilliant thread.

I often have trouble spelling, and don't know enough as I should about the English language itself. For example, I only learned last week what 'splitting the infinitive' was.

Sometimes, I post on 4chan's /lit/ board.

English Literature BA

My vocabulary is still pretty limited, English language knowledge is awful, my spelling is average.

Still got a 1st.

I only read about 1/2 of every page I skim read so much. Plot details and characters I should know about come as surprises to me.

I've gotten paid for some of my writing.

It was Erotica.
De Sade would have blushed.

>>773829

Just be thankful lit isn't like /v/ or /a/, we get so angsty on those boards when newcomers invade our secret clubhouse.

As for literary embarrassment, I wanked to descriptions in Lolita dozens of times.

Am I disturbed? I was 13, and it was my first too.

>>775744
No, it's supposed to be erotic and besides, at the start of the book Lolita is only a year younger than you were.

>>773531
2nded :D

I acquired a whole a whole collection of Greek tragedies,
Planned to read them
Didnt
Used a copy of Sophocles II to swat a fly

>>775747

Ahh yes, but I always wondered if thinking of her in the mindset of a pervert who was convinced he loved her was a little... off, especially as it was the whole 'being taken advantage of' thing that ws exciting.

Also the reason I read it and other classics as a kid was so I could look down on other people, something that shames me today.

>>775744
You're a pedophile though, be careful of cops.

>>775759
That's the reason I'm reading classics at the moment. I'm currently reading Paradise Lost so I can look down on all the stupid Satanist metal heads and goths who try to claim that they know anything about Milton's epic.

>>775760

Being a pedophile isn't illegal. You just gotta keep that shit under control.

>>775763

Don't worry, way ahead of you - all evidence removed.

Major erections were had while reading American Psycho.

Bumping this thread. I likes it.

>>774870
Not having read Shakespeare is unforgiveable, but the second half of Dracula is shit.

remo ve y our il leg al clo ne moota rd www.anonjalk.se except t instead of j in the mid dle be cause po olar bear is a psyc ho thi ef 4a2102e1cdce65d870637aa5baa710d7

>>775469
>Plotlines are generic
They're generic becuase everyone copied them from him. That's the fucking point. You shouldn't need this explaining to you.

I find reading classics a fucking chore and would much prefer to read more 'fun' stuff.

I enjoy Warhammer 40K books.
That Dan Abnett, he be awesome.

War and Peace is fucking boring and you're all secretly pretending you like it.

>>776083
I read the first four Horus Heresy books. They were really enjoyable.

>>773170
ditto.
If only it was just a regular second-rate cheap literature romance novel, and not about some sparkly fags, I would have enjoyed it much more.

>>776087
Nope, it's actually good. You've just got to be in the right mood when you're reading old classics.

remo ve y our il leg al clo ne moota rd www.anonjalk.se except t instead of j in the mid dle be cause po olar bear is a psyc ho thi ef cbe89d1afd527a6f09db06141601660b

>>775731
I'm currently working on my BA and I feel the same. They spend too much fucking time on analyzing literature and not enough on actual grammar. Literature is for Lit majors. English is for English majors. Dumbasses.

Took a class on James Joyce. Covered Dubliners, Portrait, and Ulysses. I didn't read any of them, and deeply regret it now.

Have not read any "classics." By "classics," I mean pretty much any book published before 1960. Started reading recently (I'm 24) and my attention span can really only handle short stories. And I think short stories, as a form, are more reaslistic than novels.

Read some as a child. However, it was only Goosebumps and Stephen King.

Took a fiction class with Antonya Nelson. I was easily her worst students. Missed a lot of class, and rarely participated in any sort of group discussion. Sort of embarrassed myself there.

Took a class on James Joyce. Covered Dubliners, Portrait, and Ulysses. I didn't read any of them, and deeply regret it now.

Have not read any "classics." By "classics," I mean pretty much any book published before 1960. Started reading recently (I'm 24) and my attention span can really only handle short stories. And I think short stories, as a form, are more reaslistic than novels.

Read some as a child. However, it was only Goosebumps and Stephen King.

Took a fiction class with Antonya Nelson. I was easily her worst student. Missed a lot of class, and rarely participated in any sort of group discussion. Sort of embarrassed myself there.

>>775469
I had a creative writing teacher that was fucking hung up on poetry. I. HATE. POETRY. I could care less about couplets or rhyme schemes.

I read each Harry Potter book upwards of 10 times each (Before OotP, the two following only once or twice each), I was a canon God on fanfiction forums. I also read fanfiction, past tense thankfully.

>>776082
Classic and current literature are only enjoyable during the school year because it gives that right air of pretentiousness when you're sitting on the bench in the courtyard of campus on a clear fall day.

I loved reading as a kid, but as soon as I had some 'required reading' to do, I refused to read the book.
In the end, I spent my entire high school career writing book reports by using summaries.

>>776158
I went through a period of time from 3rd grade to 8th grade were I didn't read at all. Mostly because I was advanced at reading compared to most of my classmates and they wanted me to feel retarded. It was mostly because my school couldn't fund a good gifted/talented program.

I overuse adverbs. Because I like them.

I love John Grisham and Harry Turtledove.

>>776158
Right here, this is the very definition of an aspie retard.

>>776162
>I didn't read at all. Mostly because I was advanced at reading

Essentially "Im so good at reading i didn't do it at all"
interesting

'The Dunning Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which "people reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices but their incompetence robs them of the meta cognitive ability to realize it." The unskilled therefore suffer from illusory superiority, rating their own ability as above average, much higher than it actually is'

>>773160
I think my biggest crime is that I never re-read books, even if I had no idea what was going on the first time.
I read dune when I was 12. Had no idea what was going on. Recommended it to all my friends anyway because other people seemed to like it.
Never re-read it. Read Messiah, didn't understand that either. Read half of Children, realized I had no idea what was going on, dropped it.
I didn't bother with scouring of the shire. I just stopped reading when gollum tripped and fell into the volcano.

My first attempt at writing a novel fell flat on chapter 2. I tried to base the main character on Harry Dresden, except not a wizard. He turned out to be such a complete cowardly prick that even I hated him.

I have written dungeons and dragons tentacle porn, mostly for a fat 16 year-old girl in the netherlands.

>>776162
So why didn't you go to the library and read some books that met with your skill level?
Or are you just full of shit?

>>776141
>I could care less.

Fucking RAGE. You COULDN'T care less! Saying you could means that you DO CARE.

It takes me well over a minute to read a page in a novel.

>>776080
Nothing against Shakespeare, but Shakespeare hardly invented most of his plots.

Bump

>>776294

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>773846
Who hasn't?
Growing up I thoroughly enjoyed the Margaret Wies and Tracy Hickman "Dragonlance" books and know that I would still enjoy them if I reread them today.

I haven't read/finished half my books.

>>777196
I can't even guess how many times I've read that series. Also the Darksword series - loved those.

>>773311
Marvin?

while I was working at an addictions clinic, I was putting together a library, and we got a boxful of pop psychology books once... the worst kind...

I confess I burnt the books /lit/... those people were sick enough without those books to make them worse off...

I bought paradise lost and hated the clusterfuck of allusions to historical places at the beginning which caused me not to read the remainder of it. I'm still ashamed.

Wrote furry crossover fanfiction.

>>777375
Nope.

But I'm glad there's someone else out there like me (hopefully not a fat basement-dwelling neckbeard).

I own every Harry Potter novel.
I have read none of them.

>>777401
I'm reading Paradise Lost atm (I posted earlier in this thread). I think the mention of real-world places is a bit... anti-mystical. It seems to work against a Heaven-Hell type thing.

>>777401

I did the exact samee thing. It came off as the poetic equivilent of a Family Guy episode to me:

"Oh man, this this just like the time Moses parted the Red Seas"*cue flashback*.

Some others:

First Blood is my favorite novel. Yes, the book the Rambo films are based on.

When I was 15, I jacked off one time to a piece in 'The 120 Days of Sodom' toward the beginning of the book.

>>777390
I think the end justifies the means in that case.

I occasionally quote lines from Shakespeare plays I've never read nor seen performed. You could argue that it's awwrite because it's such an ingrained part of our cultural heritage, but I still feel kinda dishonest about it.

I think of Plato's dialogues as Socrates fan fic

>>777538

the bible is History Fanfiction.

>>777538
The Republic is fanfic.

I read Atlas Shrugged, I liked the plot.

>>776080

You are a nigger. Shut your fucking whore mouth.

Think about it. 1 Two households, both alike in dignity,
2 In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
3 From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
4 Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
5 From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
6 A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
7 Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
8 Do with their death bury their parents' strife.
9 The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,
10 And the continuance of their parents' rage,
11 Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,
12 Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
13 The which if you with patient ears attend,
14 What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

Blah blah blah boy and girl from rival familes fall in love together with conflict inbetween. SOMEONE WAS BOUND TO WRITE THIS. It was inevitable. Any faggot could come up with this kind of plot.

Anybody.

Someone would sit down and say "I'm going to write a romance novel, but they somehow can't be together. FUCKING BRILLIANT."

Shakespeare just so happened to be the "first." Which I highly doubt. I'm sure someone before him wrote a similar work or possibly this was mentioned in folklore.

Shakespeare is a crock of shit. I would think /lit/ would've known that by now after having his dick rammed down each of our throats.

>>773158

www.anonmalk.se but with t instead of m in the middle 1379f884de5a51fd98a7e3d81fb680de 56169

>>777553

I posted a thread about this a few weeks ago (essentially about the Republic being Socratic fan fiction)...started a shit storm.

>>776141

OP of post ending in 469.

Good to know someone else hates poetry.

The fact of the matter is, poetry is not literature. The english language in written form is to spread ideas and knowledge, not the emotions of a faggot. I read to learn, not to know how someone felt after some cunt dumped his ass.

I'm also a heavy advocate supporting Reader Response criticism, which even furthers my case because the author's intentions are rendered null and void. Who gives a shit? I just want to read IDEAS and OPINIONS. Not bitching and whining.

>>777648
too bad /lit/ is dead today, I think I would have liked to become part of the new shitstorm.

I think Sade is the only philosopher that makes any sense.

Even though I'm 21, I still visit the teen section of the bookstore. Even though it's overflowing with Twilight-esque crap, I sometime manage to find good stuff.

>>777650
no offense implied, but you're fucking retarded. Through rhetorical devices, knowledge is conveyed most effectively. If I told you it was cold outside, you sort of get a mental picture, however; if I told you ice clung to my window in sheets and my breath came out in short, choked puffs of condensation, you gain a much more vivid idea of the subject matter presented. GOOD Poetry uses these tools to its strength and helps provide knowledge. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

I wrote a lot of fanfiction in fifth and sixth grade. Including a really long and elaborate Kingdom Hearts/Coraline/Twilight story about an original character of mine.

I STILL read and reread the Harry Potter books. I love it.
I made my own wand and have a robe.
No one but my close friends would believe how much I adore the series. They all think I'm above the geeky stuff.

>>777643
You.
Don't.
Read.
Shakespeare.
For.
The.
Plot.

I once burned a book.

Twilight.

>>777643
1. Romeo and Juliet was a retelling of the Roman myth Pyramus and Thisbe. He wasn't the first to do it.
2. It doesn't matter. No one cares about Shakespeare's plots. The man had an undeniable talent with words and understanding of the human condition.

>>777643
it was bound to be written, so we should hate it because it was written

lol nice troll il give you 3/10

I like Harry Potter but haven't read 1-3 in years. And 5, which seems to be one of the more hated, was my favorite.

I loved Dumbledore's Army and the battle at the Department of Mysteries. For once it wasn't just Harry fighting.

>>773194
How's that a crime? That's like watching b-movies

>>777650
>poetry is not literature
ok

>>773266

That's an achievement.

>>773266
So have I. On numerous occasions.
Then I wiped my cum all over the children section.

>>777672

>no offense implied, but you're fucking retarded.
>"I'M SO WITTY AND CLEVER BY SAYING NO OFFENSE, THEN SAYING SOMETHING VERY OFFENSIVE.

GTFO my /lit/

I agree. Shakespeare was not a masterful conveyer of words even for his time. He made me lose a lot of faith in English when we had to read all of his shit.

>>777747

Phoenix, Prince, and Hallows are my favorite three Potter books. By far.

Also, I've read each one probably between 20-50 times total. No, I'm not joking, or exaggerating.

I think a lot of books are good even if they aren't supposed to be deep or philosophical. Because of this, I get as much entertainment out of Stephen King or Jim Butcher as I do James Joyce.

I also can't stand Jane Austen.

I didn't finish "old man and the sea"

I HATE ERNEST HEMMINGWAY

>>777933
Do you hate him or his works? Because if it's just the latter than you have no taste. If you hate the man himself, then you're a FAGET.

I held back my true opinions on Twilight when I found out everyone else in my book club loved it, while dying a little inside.

(they were 90% female yes)

>>773824
Guilty of enjoying Anthem. Should I kill myself?

I have readen all foundation series by isaac assimove but still cant make myself read Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea

>>778059
I'm sorry, I have to do this. But, really? "readen"?

>>778059
And assimove? 0/10

>>776294
Clearly, he could

>CARE LESS

>>777650
You are an ignoramus with no understanding of poetry. The best prose has a hint of poetry, and vice versa. To say that poetry never introduces new or intriguing ideas, and exists only to convey trite emotions, is a statement that shows a complete lack of understanding of most poetic works. If you've read Frost, Auden, Ginsberg, Bukowski, Plath, Byron, Jarrell, Nash, Neruda, Cummings, Simic... jesus christ how long this list could go on... and did not see any interesting ideas, or learn anything from them, then you utterly failed at reading poetry. You hate, like so many do, what you do not understand.

>>777992
No. I had to read it in high school and I hated it although I think I see what one might find attractive in it. It just seemed poorly executed and the whole time I couldn't help but think, "way to toot your own horn, lady." But the dystopic future concept is always interesting.

>>778540
>Bukowski
>learn anything
:D

>>778551
I learned homeless drunks drink Sterno. Is it a useful fact? Nope. Did I learn it? Sure did.
I learned what an S-Matrix is from a physics textbook. Somebody might value this more, might say it's better information, whatever. It benefits me just as much as knowing you pour canned heat through bread and drink it to get fucked up.

99% of my book collection is from my high school library's discard bin. It'll probably take me decades to read the literally hundreds of them I've taken.

>>777418
>furry crossover fanfiction
What does that even mean?

>>778616
Turning characters from well-known franchises into furries, then putting them into other franchises. I think.

>>778629
Bizarre! Thanks

>>778559
I really don't think that's a a good example of new or intriguing ideas. The rest stand though.

>>778616
>>778629
>>778650

Hey bro!

Look up CYOA fanfiction sometime too! If you like bizarre stuff.

Fantastic thread

>>778689
That'd kinda intriguing.

Reading Shakespeare is nothing short of painful and no one should have to do it.

No one should simply read any play because the purpose is to act it out. Fuck all those high school English teachers that make you silently read it at your desk.

>>778689
What Bukowski did was grab the rock people had been living under, lift it up, and expose the nasty creatures most of society either ignored or had no clue even existed. Other authors did so, but none of them made it so plainly spoken, so obviously illustrated. He also included himself in this in an unapologetic and brutally honest way. Those others who attempted to do this didn't have the same sincerity or style to it. Bukowski had plenty to say on the inherent cruelties of life, the lack of empathy in people that cause or come from them, and how many people led boring and resolute lives of mental slackness that came from it. He presented a sloppy, disgusting picture of humanity, a vile and tawdry planet filled with nothing more than so many assholes and elbows, and asked us to understand that in his view of things, it's incredibly beautiful, too.
I'll agree it gets tedious sifting through the enormous amount of shit poems he had to find the gems, but man, the gems shone pretty god damn well. I mentioned him in that other post mostly because I just thought of him off the top of my head.
He's famous for a reason. He did it with an original style, he did it with an original voice, and he did it with an original view. He's not a favorite of mine by any means, but people trashing him on this forum are mealy-mouthed bitches whining because they can't manage to do what he did. Nobody else can do what he did. He wrote interesting, often darkly funny stories about a life you and I don't have the balls (or sheer insanity/desperation) to ever consider living. And that's why he's a name I thought of to place in a list of poets.
Take your high-minded bullshit and shove it up your ass. You're not the Lord of Poetry or the Arbiter of What's Interesting.

>>773902
everyone thinks that and they're right

>>778870
:3

>>778880
what's that emoticon even mean

>>778881
I like that post

When I browse for books on amazon I mostly just look at the covers and try to think which books would make me look most intelligent and interesting.

can we get a new picture for the OP the current one is pissing me off

>>778906

It actually really looks like a guy I used to play WoW with.

>>773284
we're whalers on the moon
we carry a harpoon
but there are no whales
so we tell tall tales
and sing this merry tune~

>>778950

We're whalers on the moon
We carry a harpoon
But there ain't no whales
So we tell tall tales
And sing our whaling tune

MORON

I once found The Unbearable Lightness of Being and fapped to the thought of me being Franz, making sweet and passionate love with Sabina. Uncanny way of finding literotica, btw.

That was my first orgasm-- after that, I knew that I was destined to devour books.

I listen to audiobooks while walking.

I skimmed the entire second half of Monte Cristo. 1500 pages? Fuck that, other shit to do.

>>779020
why do you even bother reading?
> Fuck that, other shit to do.

1500 is the whole book, maybe
my paperback is only 1200

I had to read 10 books (in 10 weeks) for my uni course. Obviously, I wasn't going to read them all. I read about 4. I only fully read 1 (Robinson Crusoe), I partly listened to one (The Secret Agent) on Libravox audio. Most of them I skim read (only read dialogue, didn't even get near to the ending).

>>777899
How its like 30 pages?!

I once masturbated while reading Harry Potter to save time, since I was sleepy and wanted to do away with both the reading and the masturbation at the same time.

then I realized what I was doing

>>773157
www.anonmalk.se but with t instead of m in the middle 9be14d4f5e9fd7d0effd2ca6b25e0e37 34683

I wrote a book about vampires.

>>773160

Read almost every single book for english class on sparknotes

I own books that are based on a video game.

>>779127
I have the Metal Gear Solid novel (someone bought it me for Christmas). I read about two chapters.

I've also read plenty of 40K novels, if they count.

>>779153
Is it any good?

>>779156
The MGS novel? From what I've read, it's not that bad. It's really only there for MGS fans, as it shows a bit more of Les Enfants Terribles and some of the stuff you don't see in the game.

I enjoy Resident Evil novels and YA fiction.

In 2nd grade we were supposed to write a Christmas poem. I wrote John Williams' "My Christmas Tree" (the song of Home Alone fame [Kevin's choir sings it right before he picks his fight with Buzz]) word for word. Got an A and the teacher was none the wiser.

About 2 years later I realized that was plagiarism.

>>779190
That's nothing. In 3rd Grade I plagiarized the Mr. Friend episode of Rugrats.

I want the first person perspective Pulp Detective genre to make a full fledged comeback with fedoras, trenchcoats, hookers with hearts of gold, dames singing at nightclubs and all that shit.

>>777453
>I have read none of them.

I'll be honest, I've only read 1-4 and 7. I haven't bothered with 5 and 6 because I hear that they suck and just consist of Harry being moody and brooding.

>>779205
I agree 100%, those books were fantastic and spawned a genre which revolutionized movies

>>779229
Better than sparkling vampires and I have no problem with teenage girls swooning over a tough guy.

>>779259
>Just realized that probably came out wrong.

>>779205
>Imokaywiththis.jpg

I get a kick out of reading paranormal romance novels. My editor is an awesome person, tossed me a few, and hey, it's not half-bad.

I tried reading the Aenid and couldn't get past the first six lines.

Fucking epic poems.

>>779423

This is probably the only thing that is actually pretty bad.

Re-bumping this thread.

>>773159

www.anomtalk.se but with n instead of m near the middle 5783ea39cf5f1582965a7b6809d5e9cf 9124

I own Mick Foley's autobiography

I very rarely read any of the assignments in my Lit classes, and wing it on tests and essays based on what the Prof. said in class.

I only read one of the books for class last semester. Professor said he'd give me an A+ for classroom discussion if he could. I'm an English major.

no matter how hard i try to be open minded or understanding i pretty much universally dislike poetry. the more vague the meaning of the poem, the more i hate it. Frost is pretty much the only poet i am able to stomach.

I can't read books with important female characters. I just can't. And it makes finding something to read pretty hard.

Star Wars got me into reading.

I own more Star Wars books than anything, and they will always mean more to me as literature than anything else, ever.

Existentialism is.

>>778868

What are you talking about - King Lear works rather shitty on stage whereas it works absolutely wonderfully in the mind where the true horror of the events can be realised without the trappings of theatricality.

No, what your real concern is terrible (probably American) public school English teaching - a trend I'm seeing a lot on /lit/.

I used to masturbate to V.C. Andrews rape scenes.

I've had a copy of Don Quixote on my bedside table for two years and haven't even opened it.

Don't know it that's a crime per se, more of a confession.

Oh, the only poet I like is Keats (and some of his poems creeped me the fuck out)

>>773847

Depends how srs the situation is I guess.

>I'm a fourth year university English student and I know fuck all about Shakespeare. I've only ever read Lear.

Well once you've read the best. jk

>I've also written papers on Dracula, more than once, over the course of my studies. I've never finished the book.

Chances are the person that marked it didn't either.

>I despise Shakespeare, even after reading his "Greatest Works." (Plotlines are generic, someone was bound to write the stories he wrote. Very formulaic but no one seems to see that).

Seinfeld is derivative and unfunny.

>For example, I only learned last week what 'splitting the infinitive' was.

Something we should all do whenever we can. Just to piss people who think that they should be allowed to control the English off. If I wanted to speak Latin I'd speak fucking latin.

>>775760

Only if he continued to do it as he grew older.

>>777719

He coined huge numbers of the phrases we use today for example. Including "to coin a phrase" I believe.

>>778068

Maybe he just finished Beowulf?

>>778868

All of my teachers made us read Shakespeare out together (i.e. gave some of us parts to read and had different people read each lesson). It's not quite acting but it's far better than the alternative.

I've already posted about 5-6 times in this thread. Probably more. I can't bare to count. That in itself is a literary crime.

>>773205
The first time I masturbated was while reading an RL Stein book.

I enjoy the Dresden Files, despite Butcher being a hack writer.

>>780848
Wait, what? How does that even work?

I not only admire Atticus Finch, I think he's a sexy beast. Seeing Gregory Peck play him in the movie made it worse (better?).

I heard Richard Dawkins was coming to my city so I bought a book of his without reading it purely to have it signed. I still haven't read it and I don't plan to.

Also I skipped the Goldstein shit in 1984. I also hated 1984.

I've read two books of Haruhi with the sole purpose of trolling my friends at their own game.

It was awful and I still feel dirty for doing so.

>>780957

I read a Haruhi book once out of pure boredom. I didn't think it was that bad. Not very substantial, but not bad.

>>780897
lol

I'm thinking about reading the Vampire Diaries because one of the vampire characters shares my first name.

>>777538

Classics/Eng lit major and I do the same thing. ><

I talk like I'm fucking awesome for reading a ton of books but I can't really remember what they were all about, so I talk shit about them based on some random trivia fact or someone's opinion, or whether it makes me seem cool.

I suspect that's just universally human though.

I think House of Leaves is an incredibly deep work of art.

>>782226
I thought it was...

>>773157

http://tinyurl.com/345sdye ebapmdppobyukhfeccnbrnvulfu

Man I can't believe this threads been going since Thursday..

>>781254
Vampire Diaries is actually pretty good. I read the first book a while ago and now I want to buy the rest of the series.

>>780501
I own more Star Wars novels than I can read. The only problem is that I'm still getting through the Bantam-era. Can't wait to get it over with so I can start collecting New Jedi Order.

>>780047
>Frost is pretty much the only poet i am able to stomach.

During my Intro to Literature class, Frost was the only poet I could tolerate because his poems actually made sense and I could easily find the "hidden meaning".

>>782334
Try Yeats, he might turn you. Like Frost but with way more depth and fantasy elements.

>>779413
>I get a kick out of reading paranormal romance novels.

I love Target's book section because they get so many different ones shipped in by faceless/no-name authors and I can buy 4 or 5 or them for super cheap.
I just finished a bunch of them a while ago. They are so terrible but I can't help but read them.

>>780501
>>782329
I cried at the ending of The Unifying Force where Anakin Solo's lightsaber is put in a little hole in front of Chewbacca's shrine, and Han makes a little speech saying something like "may only a warrior as strong as you be able to retrieve it". Fuck, NJO was grim. Han lost so much. So sad ;_;.

bampity

>>782569
I read Force.net all the time so I know about these things but still, I won't be fully prepared.

feelsbadman.jpg

>>774010
me too.

I still read Erotic Harry Potter Gay Fanfiction.
Snape/Harry and Voldemort/Harry.
They aren't even the canon characters in my head anymore. They're primarily porn characters to me, now.

My friend once took part in a Robert Burns reading marathon at a music festival to just to get free tickets. He had to persuade people to read a Burns poems into a mic at the far end of a field. Whenever he couldn't find anybody, I had to fill in. At about 3 in the morning, I got drunk and pissed on all the poetry books. I just couldn't take it anymore.

>>783883
For fun I started writing fan fiction about Lawrence Van Dough from the film 'Richie Rich'. Let's just say he doesn't resemble the guy that tried to kill Richie's parents and kidnap Richie.

It's more like he goes around spanking his wife and treating her like a submissive.

I adore a lot of novels because of a strong male character (or a yin and yang relationship between a powerful protagonist and antagonist). I often overlook the plot flaws and praise the book as awesome to people because of just the characterization. They're my literary superheroes so I wear rose-colored glasses.

>>783934
I will never understand 4channers and their ability to piss on things when they're drunk. Could you not piss on books and clothing and food, please? Can't you aim your piss into a corner or onto the grass?

D:

>>784711
Did I mention he has an obsession with her ass and he likes her to call him Master? He also picks out outfits for her. Oohboy.

>>784744
I'd also like to point out I don't post any of these on the internet. It's sort of an in-joke between a friend and I over IM. We like to pass these stories back and forth.

>>773282
I've read it four times.
But I probably will never read it again.

I watch and enjoy anime and cartoons and appreciate them for there stories.

>>784802

*their

With that out of the way, I play video games for their stories. If a video game doesn't have some semblance of a plot, I'm not interested at all.

I have bought many books, but never finished any one of them. I often times read the first few chapters and that's it.

I eat while reading in bed and if I spill shit on the pages I'll smear it in instead of trying to wipe it off or anything. The library's never fined me for it or anything.
I once got into a drunken 3am philosophizing argument with someone about the 'nature of art' and I destroyed a bunch of books I owned including ripping, chewing, and pissing/flushing down the toilet.
This isn't a crime but I've often bought books, finished them, and just left them lying somewhere for somebody else to find. I think most probably ended up in a trash can somewhere, but if not, it's good that other people picked up books and enjoyed them. It's like wild card karma and the thought amuses me.

>>776083
Gotta love Gaunt's Ghosts

I read bunches of YA crap, that's the majority of what I have on my bookcase. I can't stand 95 percent of female authors. It's gotten to the point where if there's a chicks name on the cover I fucking drop it like a hot coal.
I just started reading Zahn, but not for the star wars, for that dragon back series. I got the omnibus for a dollar. Books 1-3

>>784832
>I once got into a drunken 3am philosophizing argument with someone about the 'nature of art' and I destroyed a bunch of books I owned including ripping, chewing, and pissing/flushing down the toilet.

the fuck is wrong with you, man?

>>784846
They were going on and on about works of literary genius blah blah blah and my point (I think; the memory is fuzzy) was words are playthings the reader can do whatever they want with. Art is distraction and bullshit; what's profound is what people take from it or do with it, it doesn't stand alone as great.
But yeah it counts as a literary crime I think. My friend just sat there staring the whole time.
Yes I know I'm insane.

I have a story idea in mind that might qualify as fantastical romance.

Not only have I read and enjoyed the whole Harry Potter series, but I own them in hardcover. All first Edition. I don't regret a thing.

>>784960
Many many people own the complete set first edition in hardcover. It's not that special when the first edition came out with literally millions of copies.

>>784974
You nitwit. That anon was obviously saying that the fact they own the entire Harry Potter series could be looked down upon by elitist scumbags who deride popular books. They weren't saying they were "special" for owning them, but that they were a fan of a series that isn't considered "high brow." Like them, I also own all Harry Potter books hard back. And have no regrets.

>>780132
You chauvinistic whelp. What in the blazes is wrong with you?

I hate to toot my own horn but BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Thread bump.

>>784881
You mean a fantasy romance

I hate the over use of the word "fantastic" in place of fantasy. I know it's a legit variant but it drives me up the wall.