/lit/ - Literature

Is it about vampires?

>>762210
*anticipates answer*

>As part of the larger publishing release, one dollar from each physical book sold will be donated to the American Red Cross*. If you would also like to make a contribution to the American Red Cross, please click here to go to the dedicated The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner donations page.
Aw, what a great person Stephenie Meyer is

>>762219
I would rather give blood and just plain donate money than have to get a Stephanie Meyer novel with it.

>>762219
$1 from every sale of the book goes to breast cancer research

10% of Meyer's annual income goes to the Mormon church

>>762218
>>762210
>It is the story of a newborn vampire, Bree Tanner, who is featured in the third book of the series, Eclipse. It is written from the viewpoint of Bree, as opposed to the rest of the series which is predominantly narrated by character Bella Swan.
Lrn2google

Opening lines of the book:

>"The newspaper headline glared at me from a little metal vending machine: SEATTLE UNDER SIEGE-- DEATH TOLL RISES AGAIN. I hadn't seen this one yet. Some paperboy must have just restocked the machine. Lucky for him, he was nowhere around now. Great. Riley was going to blow a gasket. I would make sure I wasn't within reach when he saw this paper. Let him rip somebody else's arm off.

"Blow a gasket?" This is what happens when you have middle age women trying to write teenage dialog.

>>762228
That is startlingly uncreative.

>>762228
Will Bree also be a hollowed out Mary Sue?

>>762237
apparently Bree is supposed to be a tough-as-nails vampire who actually acts like a vampire. I think that makes her evil, and therefor not a Mary Sue.

>>The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner
>>The Short Second Life
>>The Short Life

I'm hoping she dies?

>>762233
It hurts to know that this is all the literature adolescents will know...
I mean, even at this point I would allow Harry Potter. Or Redwall. OR SOMETHING ELSE. ANYTHING ELSE.
Fuck.

Cover is as much shitty as her previous books. Lame.

>>762237
Sure she will!
and she will have 3 boyfriends to choose amongst, a faun, a centaur and a kraken. They all clash in an epic battle to win her heart

>>762243
she is evil, and I think she does die in Eclipse.

>>762244

This will always happen.
It has always happened.
Everworld was extremely popular when I was in middle school. It's not exactly the best literature ever written, but it does reference a lot of mythology. Anyone who is interested will search to expand their knowledge if it interests them.

And even if they read Twilight doesn't mean that they'll never read anything else.

>>762258
Yeah, they'll maybe read some Austen.
Not sure it's so good.

>>762258
>And even if they read Twilight doesn't mean that they'll never read anything else.

If they like Twilight it probably makes them a lot less likely to read anything else.

>>762266
Oh, sure they will. James Patterson.

>>"Hulk mad!" Kevin bellowed. "Hulk... SMASH!" He leaped forward to meet the car before it could brake, grabbed its front bumper, and flipped it over his head so that it struck the pavement upside down with a squeal of bending metal and shattering glass. Inside, a woman started screaming.

Boy, these vampires sure are great at keeping a low profile.

>>762266

Reading Twilight and reading anything else aren't mutually exclusive.
I am sure you've read some shitty books, and did that prevent you from reading anything else?
Fucking no.
You're just being an ignorant high-brow dick.

>>762302
I understand your mad.
But if Twilight is all these 13 year olds have read, how will they know to expand their interests? Sure, you'll have the occasional curious one that ventures from the inescapable chasm that is Young Adult Fiction, but most of them give up after high school. Or they just continue reading the same shit.
But what are you going to do?

>>762302
Look. I read a lot of Goosebumps when I was a kid, but do you think Goosebumps opened me up to a world of literature and I started reading James Joyce and William Faulkner immediately afterward? Fuck no. I read more and more Goosebumps books. It took a giant fucking paradigm shift in my maturity before I started reading decent literature. If anything, Goosebumps only hindered my reading abilities. Why read the difficult shit when there are a fuck ton of low-brow books out there?

And if my argument wasn't persuasive enough:
http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2007/12/24/071224crat_atlarge_crain?printable=true

Literacy in America is in decline. If Harry Potter and Twilight are welcoming people to read more often, why are less people reading?

>>762320

Exactly.
And that is how it always worked. And that is how it always will work. That was my point.

>>762376
But I said that there's only the few that do actually stray from Twilight. The others (majority) either continue to read under par literature or stop reading entirely... I don't see how that reinforces your point.

>>762394
Sorry, this: >>762258
was also me.

There are a few who do stray. But there have always only been those few. It's not what they read that makes it mutually exclusive. It's the desire. If the intrinsic motivation to read isn't there, then they may only read it because all of their friends did, and then never read anything else.
But before Twilight, or Harry Potter, or Redwall, or Everworld, or whatever, it was something else.

And there were still only the few who would stray from the path on their own and go off and read 'better' literature immediately afterwards. Others went later.

I think the real issue is that people in general aren't being introduced to good literature, but you can't blame the bad literature for that.

>>762420
Huh... That's interesting. I guess I was speaking from experience, so I was a biased :P

>>762420
>people in general aren't being introduced to good literature, but you can't blame the bad literature for that.

and you can't blame McDonalds for people eating unhealthy food, am I right?

>>762233

>Middle aged
She's 36.

>>762451
almost over the hill.

Is anyone else reading this shit? It's good practice for speed reading, because there's no subtext to pick up on.

>>762480
great advice ! gonna try it.

>>762432

You can't.
You can't blame the institution for a person making a poor decision.
McDonalds isn't forcing people to go to their restaurant. They'd love to make a shit ton of money (as government mandated, for their stockholders) and have everyone eat only McDonalds, but you can't blame them for someone deciding to eat there every day.

And, different from cigarettes, there isn't a special cocktail of addictive substances specifically placed into McDonalds food to where people will become addicted.

So, you'd be correct.
You cannot blame the inventor for people using the invention to ill-will. You can't blame the invention either.

At the end of the day, a person's decisions rest on themselves. You can't really blame anything else.

Considering the first chapter is about vampires hunting and brutally murdering people, it sure is boring.

>"Watch this," he said, kneeling in front of the beam of sunshine again. He put his hand out. It was almost as hard to watch this time, even if my leg felt normal.

>The second his fingers entered the beam, the cave was filled with a million brilliant rainbow reflections. It was bright as noon in a glass room-- light everywhere. I flinched and then shuddered. There was sunlight all over me.

>He rolled his hand over to look at the back, then turned it palm up again. The reflections danced like he was spinning a prism.

>Sparkle sparkle sparkle

I'd read it if I didn't think Twilight was so damn boring. Only Meyer could make vampires sound that retard.

>>763123
Jesus christ, he's more sparkly than Saphira's scales.

>"We're going to have to be careful, tracking them in the day. We're kind of noticeable in the sunlight, you know."
>"He grinned. "Let's be ninjas."
>I nodded. "Super-secret ninja club sounds way cooler than the whole BFF thing."

Is this a ripoff of The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao?

The only reason Twilight is popular is because of Edward. So she writes a book without Edward?

I wonder what J.K. Rowling thinks of Meyer

>>763546

YOUR MOM SUCKS HER CLIT EVERY NIGHT FAGGOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Read it.
The whole thing.
Goddamn, it was horrible.
Badly written, lame as ever story line.
Fuck.
This is what literature has become.

>>764216
No it's not.
Nobody respects these books outside of teenage girls, and even most of them don't consider it literature.
Quit being a cunt.

Do you have to read it on the site or can it be downloaded?

>>764230
I like you.

>>764232
>>764230
>>764216
That's the right way to think about it though. People listen to Justin Bieber but no one outside of teenage girls thinks he's super talented or a genuinely great maker of music. People know he's trash, just pop culture. Same goes for Stephanie Meyer and her books, you could say. Sure, I wish teenage girls would read Brave New World too, but it's not going to happen.

>>764236
I know. It's why I agreed.

>>764216
Ditto.

Raoul and Fred were superfluous to the story.
There should have been chapters or something, because the story just dragged on with piss poor pacing.
I like how Bree just knows Diego is dead, and not only does she know he's dead, but she knows who killed him and why. "Diego isn't here! The only possible explanation is that he's dead!"
I don't get why they executed Bree at the end. She didn't do anything wrong.
It was stupid how Bree sort of accepted her death. They discuss executing her and she has nothing to say or feel.It's like a cop out.
While it was already revealed in Eclipse that Victoria's vampire army failed to kill a single protagonist, this story makes the antagonists seem even more incompetent.

>>764231
Has to be read on the site. Can't download it.

I guess you could print out the pages. Or you can screencap the pages and put them together into an ebook.

At least it was short.

Meyer has a tendency to devote a lot of pages to shit which has nothing to do with the plot or with characterization.

I hope there is a VERY good reason people are posting in this thread

>>766380
Nope, it's just /lit/ complaining about a bad children's book again. Sad

>>762226
>10% of Meyer's annual income goes to the Mormon church

This cunt must be stopped.

>Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1 in Books
>#1 in "Spine-Chilling Horror"
#1 in "Love & Romance"
#1 in "Fantasy"

whats funny is that the book isn't either of those three things. The to main characters meet each other for the first time, kiss, and then the guy vanishes for the other half of the book and never comes back. There is no romance in this book, and there is certainly no "spine chilling horror."

wow, this book needs chapters really badly.

>Stephanie has gone a little dark since Twilight, I read the first couple pages on the website but it was just too dark and disgusting for me. It just had a gothish light on it, not uplifting in any way. But that's just because I don't like stuff like that.

I had a feeling Twilight fans wouldn't like this story. The main character murders people! That's no good!

well, that was a lame story, even for Meyer.

She should stick to ripping off Shakespeare and Jane Austen, crafting plots on her own is clearly not her strong suit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlZGdJpZ92A

See how long you can watch this "book review" before you rage from the sporadic editing job and the sound of her voice.

What's strange is that all the "reviews" of this book aren't reviews. They're summaries.

>>768535
WHAT THE FUCK

>>768543
yeah, I have a feeling that if I didn't read the book I wouldn't understand a god damn word she's saying.

>>768535
>the sporadic editing job

She cut out all the "ummmm"s and pauses and the video is STILL eleven minutes long. She must've been talking for a god damn half hour.

Is anyone else as happy as I am that she STILL can't write after, what? Six books now!?

Fuck, this is hilarious.

Stop being jealous losers.

>>768535
>my face when the music is like 3 times as loud

fffuuu.jpg

>my face on her editing

fffuuu.jpg

though at first i did DEM TITS, then i realized I value my sanity more than my sexual satisfaction

>>768535
I take notice of your sexy dumb bitch and raise you with a fat dumb bitch

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=zVniOMpbGjM

>>768535
I want to punch her in the cunt

>>768155
>implying she's ever written an original plot.

test

>>768535
You know what. Fuck it. If she enjoys her books, leave her be. It's a rarity someone gets so excited about books. If she enjoys them and they make her happy, who is anyone to judge? More people should be as enthusiastic as her. Bravo.

I so fucking mad

>>768777
nice get

>>768535
You know what she reminds me of? A little kid telling an adult about Dora the Explorer, talking about all the different characters, what their names are, what their personality is like, and blah blah blah, and you just couldn't care less if you tried, but that little kid will just go on and on for thirty minutes about that idiotic show.

The murderous vampire turns her head away from witnessing a murder so she won't get hungry?

Oh, come on, Meyer. If you're not comfortable writing about murders, find a better way to disguise it.

>>768578
>>768535

how many more Twilight books is Stephenie Meyer going to make? She's almost been releasing one book a year.

>>772462
SGHE MAKWE ENOUGH TO BREAD AND BUTTER :)

>>762194
e64856ba50759b31240971827d50fbc7 kindly re move you r ille gal clo ne and give back our dom ain chrisb ear pol e see http:// tinyurl . com / 36wo8m5

>>762226
Monthly. Not Annual. It's the way mormon tithing works.

>>762324
I gotta say that was one of the most enjoyable articles I've read in quite some time. I know you were using it as supplemental evidence, but I wanted to thank you for posting it nonetheless.

>>768557
I don't find it funny so much as sad, yet rather expected. At this point there really is no incentive for her to improve her literary style, because she's going to make money either way.

>>763123
>>763188
>>762296
I think I have cancer now

I will now donate $10 dollars to breast cancer research. I have done the world a lot more good than I would have by buying 10 Stephanie Meyer books.

>>773954
>implying that saving women from death is beneficial to society

the series is actually pretty great, all the hate on it here is just another example of WERE ON 4CHAN, WE CANT LIKE ANYTHING POPULAR. /lit/ is almost as bad as /mu/ about that shit.

>>774006

>>774006
forgot to post my image

Has anyone seen a physical copy of this book? I'd REALLY like to know what that little asterisk is referring to on the cover. -_-

>>774006
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
there is nothing great about using the words "murmur" and "chagrin" every two pages.

the only reason i refrain from sage-ing this is because there are a couple of intellectual people having an actual discussion excluding sparkly "vampires"

>>774006
...

>>774015
why is Islam Convention throwing dice?

I don't understand why she doesn't just write more Twilight books. Guaranteed money to roll in for the rest of her life.

>>774052
because gambling is anti-Christian and it was invented by terrorists

>>774026

it has its own SHRINE at barnes & noble

>>774056
Because she wants to, you know, branch out creatively by writing spin-offs to her own fucking series.

I'm surprised this book is doing as well as it is.

While "The Host" wasn't a failure, it didn't do nearly as well as any of the Twilight books, and that's because it didn't have Edward Cullen in it. Edward is only briefly mentioned in this book.

>>774225

A whispering of Edward Cullen is enough to get some 12 year old's untapped sexual desires flowing - Stephanie Meyer is in literature what the Jonas Brothers are in music.

>>768756
>>774006
>>773954
>>768578
>>768535
>>763188
>>763123
>>762296
>>762233

Oh to be able to write shit books but become ridiculously rich from them...
The main thing that annoys me is the insane amount of very talented writers out there who get very little recognition...

So it's Twilight Electric Boogaloo?

is there a better way to save a copy of this ebook, rather than screencap every page?

>>762233
Meyer is writing based on how Mormon teens talk, not how ordinary human teens talk.

>>762376
people who read Twilight won't continue to read new things-- unless those new things are written about Edward Cullen

>>762243
Yeah, Bree dies. Unfortunately she's so poorly developed there's no emotional involvement in her character, and there's really no reason for her to die.

Bree was a pawn. A shitty pawn who didn't know she was a pawn, and surrendered without hurting a single person, and they kill her. It's just sort of annoying.

>>762244

>Redwall

you did not just go there bro