/lit/ - Literature

Also, thank you to the anon for suggesting to use Pastebin so I don't end up plagiarizing myself.

I'm not well read on your topics, but I have a few generic recommendations with your writing.
>try to streamline your thoughts

In the first paragraph you first mention the feelings of the author, then why he was doing the work, and then finish describing the scene. I'm not saying you can't order shit however you want, but if you're going to be judged they'll assume most weird style choices are mistakes.

If this was to get in a basic level of a college you should try to show you understand the basic form of an argumentative text. First introduce the topic and your topic, then your hipothesis, justify it and give it a conclusion. You know, show that you actually went to HS before showing off.

>taking stuff for granted
This might just be me, but I feel this kind of essays look better when you make it clear that you're standing from your opinion and experience. Saying things like "it's clear that", "it becomes evident", defining things beyond academic definitons and so on are turning opinions into absolutes. It's very common in people starting, they feel they need to sound like a scientific article or something, but right now you are presenting an interpretation and it should sound like one.
Unless, of course, you are quoting someone else.

>make sure your conclusion isn't a new argument in itself
While you're taking back ideas you brought up before there is no connection between your introduction and the conclusion. I'd suggest rewriting the begining to acomodate the final ideas you closed with, or at least to make them more evident if you feel they are there.

Hope some of that helps

>>7531261
That's exactly what I wanted, thank you anon.

>>7531284
you're welcome

>To conclude, Gassed appears to celebrate the power and majesty of a group of men working together for a similar cause, as if they were one organism, yet Sargent’s inclusion of depth in the personality of the men portrayed suggests that there is an underlying desire for a more equal and caring side to early Perhaps the painting is a sign of rebellion against the treatment of human life as a commodity throughout the 19th century, and a celebration of individuality and the importance of man as a singular entity. This Romantic element to the painting intertwines itself with the Neo-Classicist reverence of order and the empirical, which is represented by the Gassed’s representation of camaraderie and cohesion between the soldiers. As such, the painting can be considered to be a delicate reflection of early 20th century society, and its burgeoning expansion into the egalitarian society we see today. The intricacies of the painting are accurate in portraying a world that is seeing its citizens becoming increasingly aware of their power as individuals, where the working class is developing into a force which directly threatens the overarching and traditional power of the ruling elite.

Interesting. The picture is undoubtedly Classical, but more in the form of a bas relief than the groupings of a Raphael. I suspect that there's no real relief in coming together here.

I think that a truly Socialist and equalitative reading is wrong here. I'm puzzled that you don't mention the role of a white-robed General in the background, with eyes to see and lead men of a different status. It's Classical, yet reverent toward nobility, and he guides men like Christ guided Petrr upon the water, so for some of those reasons, your reading doesn't connect with me.

I like how Sargent is using an offscreen rope pulley to symbolise the dawning of a new day. You see how the ropes symbolise rays of light.

What's unromantic about this is that many men will never see the dawning of this new day. The layout might seem to suggest that we're being led toward an irrevocable change in society, but I see Sargent as saying that the encampments in the background, the blind soldiers in the foreground, and the somewhat comedic witnessing of the light in the midget und are all familiar and repetitious tropes.

The fact that the General is in the midground also suggests that he is less important or credible, but the blindness of the soldiers in the foreground, and their inability to witness the light is a castigation of them.

>>7531603
You'll also note that the Geneal isn't looking at the sun, either... It has dawned, or lowered, behind him!

>>7531584
>>7531603
I didn't realize this board was so good, thank you both.

You'll also note that the General isn't looking at the sun, either... It has dawned, or lowered, behind him!

Thusly, the 'rays' of the rope represent a false dawn. So the General is undoubtedly a false Christ.

Yet what's essential is that no one witnesses the sun.

>>7531603
>witnessing of the light in the midground, not the midget